Stoic in Love: Ancient wisdom to make dating, domestic boredom and breakups a bit less terrible

by Annie Lawson

An essential, sharply observed guide to navigating love in the modern world drawing on the ancient wisdom of the Stoics.

'This book would have been useful before we got married.'
Anthony Congedo, Annie's ex-husband

'Annie's given me mostly helpful relationship advice for years – even when I didn't ask for it.'
Catherine Chisholm, Annie's friend

You're on date #17 since your last relationship ended in flames and within a nanosecond of meeting Doug at a bar you realise you've made a huge mistake. You head to the bathroom to text your mate Lizzy and complain about how your date says aaaahh after every sip of beer, seems to style himself after Donald Trump and definitely sniffed your hair. Ten seconds later, you realise you accidentally texted Doug instead. You sit frozen on the loo, wondering if there's a back exit or if you should fake your own death instead of facing the music. You wonder how you ended up here again, locked in a small room, hiding from an orange-wigged man.

Whether it's dating someone wearing horns and a kaftan, a relationship where blobs of toothpaste are left smeared in the bathroom sink, or being dumped via text with just one word – enough! – the philosophy of the Stoics can help us all navigate the life cycles of love. Across more than 40 rules, from dating tips like Do your due diligence to relationship advice like Don't tell your partner to calm down to break-up wisdoms like Resist putting your foot in your mouth, Annie Lawson applies ancient wisdom to the modern world of being in love, out of love, lovesick, love-bombed or just love-tired. She reminds us that life is all about change and to keep our focus on the things we can control – like our thoughts and actions – and to let go of the things we can't, like finding out our date's living room is a shrine to David Beckham. Love and its rocky pursuit often sucks but fortunately, not always, and Stoic in Love helps us realise that we can all use a little help in getting together and staying together. Or getting the hell out of there.

Genres: Nonfiction

210 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 3, 2024

Reviews

[Rachel Castucci · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a good book and easy ready! Funny to read some dating stories and really makes you think about modern dating

[Georgia Leslie · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you like repetitive stoic principles being thrown in as advice every other page, or only 1/3 of the book applying to your current relationship situation, then this book is for you. I expected more than a surface level to the stoicism element, which was a novel idea that unfortunately fell short.

[Nadine-Sue Sargent · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wasn't sure what to expect and was intrigued as dating is such an alien concept. Made me chuckle as there's a line early on about not liking people that find theirs and settle early on. Am definitely one of those. Never been single as an adult so not had to work my way around the dating scene. It does fascinate me as the world has changed so much over the years so I did enjoy reading this, particularly the dos and don'ts at each part.

The little references to others' experiences in this serve as mini warnings of the perils of dating, relationships and breakups. I did like how this wasn't solely aimed at dating but explores different aspects of relationships including things very relevant for long timers as myself, maybe things I knew but hadn't really qualified as important. A lot of what we do just seems routine after a while but it is important not to be complacent. The chapter on 'finding someone to do nothing with' stood out as much as the chapter on 'have more fun'. It's important to have balance in all aspects of live and downtime alone and as a couple is important. If you can't just sit and relax together then it puts pressure on the relationship where you're likely to burn out trying to find new fun and exciting things to do.

Lots of fun and interesting tips and rules in this and you don't have to be single to enjoy it.

[Jeanette Jensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun take on do not let it get you down if you are not in a relationship that is great right now.
This is brilliantly combined with ancient wisdom; the combination makes it a good read.

We are, after all, in a day and age where people seem to spend more time figuring out which mobile phone or telly to buy than who they are going to be with next.

The rule that made me laugh the most was Rule 25: Don’t tell your partner to calm down.

Story time. Once upon a time, when I was a student, I had a boyfriend. Really. A boy. Not a man. Anyways, I needed to vent. Sometimes, there are a lot of things that go wrong at the same time, big things. I communicated that I had a need to vent.

Aaaand for Christmas he gave me a book, sweet, right? Sure, with the title: ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’. Gee, thank you. 😂

He should have bought me this one and read it with me 😉

[BooksCoveredHB · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having touched on stoicism last year in my English degree I was excited to read Annie Lawson‘s latest book Stoic in love. I didn’t really know what I was in for. I really enjoyed this amusing look at relationships.

The reader is presented with an entertaining story with added historical and philosophical antidotes. I found this book an light and easy read. I felt the presentation for this book very accessible.
I found Stoic in Love funny and relatable. There is great advice. I feel my older teenage daughters aged 17 and 19 both in relationships would enjoy Stoic in Love and could take something away from this book.

[Doug Swanson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love is such a powerful emotion that it can make us do crazy things and I wouldn't have associated Stoicism with it. However they certainly had much wisdom to impart it seems! I picked this up after a particularly disasterous date and it really resonated giving light and hope in the jungle. There are many hilarious anecdotes across dating, relationships and breakups - something most of us will experience at some point. The illustrations are very funny too. Thoroughly recommend!

[John Hardy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Stoicism Lite - lighter than two duck feathers. Pretty much a waste of time. Roughly a third of the book covers what the Stoics might have thought (based on what?). The problem is that we live in the modern world, and Stoic advice is often not relevant. Then there are the quotes from Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius - every author who writes about Stoicism can't resist those, although most of them add nothing.
Rating 1.8.

[James Scipio · Rating 5 out of 5]

an amusing look at the Stoic art of giving a fling about one of the most improtant aspects of our life.
I picked this one up after enjoying the first one, Stoic at Work, and it maintains the same format of funny story, philosophical review/historical anecdote and a final quote from a stoic philosopher.
An accessible entry into the mindset of stoicism with plenty of laughs.

[Sarah Somerset · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this after enjoying Stoic at Work last year. I keep it in my reading corner to pick up and put down when I have time for a cup of tea and some light (but thought-provoking) relief… it’s great!

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stoic in Love is a blend of laugh-out-loud moments and deep thoughts, perfect for anyone fumbling in and out of love. Think of it as your go-to guide for staying on track while Cupid does his worst (or best).

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the perfect little book to read in snippets and is brilliant for dipping in and out of.

If you would like to read my full review please visit my blog at:

https://leftontheshelfbookblog.blogsp...

[Michael Hooper · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good advice, but the fact that there are so many pages that are completely blank in a book that's already only 200 pages where there could be expanding of the rules with perhaps more examples kinda ruins the mood of the book a little for me.

[Serena Nicola · Rating 5 out of 5]

The cover maybe pink but the book is gold!

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply brilliant. Great read. Made me laugh. 🙌

[Vanessa Burn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Buy for teenagers! Buy for everyone! Brilliant

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have just finished this book and it was so funny and relatable. Wish I had read it sooner (similar to authors ex)!

[Leigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun little book to read. Full of interesting stories and memorable aphorisms. A must read for those falling into or out of love!

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoroughly excellent read. Brilliant advice and hilarious anecdotes.

[Sonja Charters · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a brilliant quick read which for me felt like a collection of little short stories or sections that I broke down and read over a few lunchtimes.

With 45 rules all focussed around dating and relationships, we take a look at what to do ....or more, what not to do!, to find love and also what to do to move on after it all goes pear-shaped.

I've read a few similar books over the last couple of years - but these have all been centered around the technical era that we've found ourselves in and how to navigate online and blind dating!
But this collection looks at how things really haven't changed over the years and takes us through personal anecdotes as well as looking back at what the stoics have to say on the subject.

This was so refreshing!
Being in a committed relationship for the last 30 years, I just can't get my head around the way things are today and I love that this takes us back to simpler times ....even ancient times, to prove that the basics really never change.

Although not all relevent to my own situation - this was packed with great advice which will be relatable to all and with a fun writing style, this bad me nodding along and chuckling as I read.

A great book to read in one go - or one to keep coming back to and dipping in - had a bad experience? Just dip back in and boost yourself with a couple of rules!

[JessMcQ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked the 'what do the stoics' say parts! The other bits were good too, but this is definitely a skim through and read what you need to hear in that moment kind of book.

[Bec · Rating 3 out of 5]

"The road to romance is paved with disappointment"

[Staceywh_17 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Forty five rules encapsulating one of the biggest conundrums a woman ever has to face throughout her life...dating!

The chapters are relatively short, concise, and offer advice that you wish you'd had years ago, saving on many a tear and broken heart.

Full of humour and anecdotes based on the philosophy from three of the Stoics, Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca alongside the wit and wisdom from the author.

It's fun, has many a laugh out loud moment and is relatable on so many levels.

Definitely one for the dating disaster friends in your life and teens in the throes of first love.

[A.J. Lyndon · Rating 5 out of 5]

More hilarious advice from Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius and his friends. Not forgetting advice from Annie Lawson!
Like Annie's first book in the series, "Stoic at Work", "Stoic in Love" combines handy hints, hilarious anecdotes and serious advice. Don't read it while eating breakfast like I did or you will be late for work!
Does and don'ts on how to find the right person included burying a garden gnome upside down (not Annie's idea) and don't ask your slave to kill you when your beloved dies, as Mark Anthony did.
I turned hastily to Rule 14 (avoiding the wrong person) and encountered Annie's cautionary tale of her friend Chad whose date revealed that he had "disposed" of his last few boyfriends. "Cue a rapid exit" was the advice.
One of the funniest self help books you'll find in the Mind, Body Spirit section of a bookshop.