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Das Verhalten ziemlich normaler Menschen
1700 Kilometer – Lachen, Tränen, Wut und Liebe
Asher Hunter will Rache. Er will sich an dem Mann rächen, der betrunken seine Mutter totgefahren hat und vor Gericht durch einen Formfehler ungestraft davongekommen ist. Asher besucht gleich mehrere Trauergruppen, und er findet dort unerwartet Da sind Sloane und Will, die etwa so alt sind wie er, und da ist der 80-jährige Henry. Sie alle verbindet, dass sie ihren liebsten Menschen verloren haben. Gemeinsam machen sie sich auf einen Roadtrip von New Jersey nach Memphis, Tennessee. Was Asher den anderen Er will dort den Mörder seiner Mutter töten. Tausende Kilometer, jede Menge Caesar Salads und einen filmreifen Kuss später steht er vor der Entscheidung seines Lebens. Und wä das Leben.
Asher Hunter will Rache. Er will sich an dem Mann rächen, der betrunken seine Mutter totgefahren hat und vor Gericht durch einen Formfehler ungestraft davongekommen ist. Asher besucht gleich mehrere Trauergruppen, und er findet dort unerwartet Da sind Sloane und Will, die etwa so alt sind wie er, und da ist der 80-jährige Henry. Sie alle verbindet, dass sie ihren liebsten Menschen verloren haben. Gemeinsam machen sie sich auf einen Roadtrip von New Jersey nach Memphis, Tennessee. Was Asher den anderen Er will dort den Mörder seiner Mutter töten. Tausende Kilometer, jede Menge Caesar Salads und einen filmreifen Kuss später steht er vor der Entscheidung seines Lebens. Und wä das Leben.
352 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 23, 2022
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5371 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 237 reviews
November 29, 2024
Jugendbücher lese ich inzwischen nur noch selten. Wenn ich es doch tue, sind es in der Regel Bücher zu anspruchsvollen Themen. Das Verhalten ziemlich normaler Menschen von KJ Reilly ist eines davon. Es geht um das Thema Trauer und den Umgang damit. Während manche Menschen nach dem Verlust eines geliebten Menschen nach einer kurzen Trauerphase ihr Leben scheinbar ganz normal weiterleben, gibt es auch andere, die diesen Verlust nur sehr schwer verarbeiten und für die ein normales Weiterleben nicht mehr möglich zu sein scheint. Von letzteren handelt dieses Buch.
Vor zwölf Monaten, drei Wochen, einem Tag, sechs Stunden und vierzehn Minuten starb Ashers Mum bei einem Autounfall. Wegen eines Formfehlers konnte der betrunkene Unfallverursacher nicht verurteilt werden. Gleichzeitig gibt Asher sich die Schuld an dem Unglück, da seine Mum wegen einer Besorgung für ihn unterwegs war. Seitdem lebt Asher vor sich hin und sinnt auf Rache. Er besucht viermal die Woche Trauergruppen und lernt dabei andere kennen, die in einer ähnlichen Situation sind: in der Teenagergruppe kämpft Sloane mit dem Verlust ihres Vaters und Will versucht den Tod seines kleinen Bruders zu verarbeiten. Bei den Erwachsenen kommt der achtzigjährige Henry nur schwer über den Tod seiner Frau hinweg. Gemeinsam machen sich die vier auf zu einem Roadtrip der anderen Art: Asher möchte den Mörder seiner Mutter finden und töten.
Das Verhalten ziemlich normaler Menschen ist ein außergewöhnliches Buch. Die Autorin schafft es, sehr einfühlsam, ohne Kitsch und ohne Lebensweisheiten vermitteln zu wollen, über Tod und Trauer und den Umgang damit zu erzählen. Besonders die Schicksale der Jugendlichen gingen mir sehr nahe. Auch die Rolle von Peter Pan, wie Asher die Leiterin der Trauergruppen nennt, war sehr geschickt angelegt, ihre Methoden gefielen mir.
Vor dem letzten Drittel nimmt das Buch eine dramatische Wendung, die ich so nicht kommen sah, die aber vieles klarstellt. Für mich ein sehr gelungenes Buch, das unbedingt mehr Leser*innen verdient.
Vor zwölf Monaten, drei Wochen, einem Tag, sechs Stunden und vierzehn Minuten starb Ashers Mum bei einem Autounfall. Wegen eines Formfehlers konnte der betrunkene Unfallverursacher nicht verurteilt werden. Gleichzeitig gibt Asher sich die Schuld an dem Unglück, da seine Mum wegen einer Besorgung für ihn unterwegs war. Seitdem lebt Asher vor sich hin und sinnt auf Rache. Er besucht viermal die Woche Trauergruppen und lernt dabei andere kennen, die in einer ähnlichen Situation sind: in der Teenagergruppe kämpft Sloane mit dem Verlust ihres Vaters und Will versucht den Tod seines kleinen Bruders zu verarbeiten. Bei den Erwachsenen kommt der achtzigjährige Henry nur schwer über den Tod seiner Frau hinweg. Gemeinsam machen sich die vier auf zu einem Roadtrip der anderen Art: Asher möchte den Mörder seiner Mutter finden und töten.
Das Verhalten ziemlich normaler Menschen ist ein außergewöhnliches Buch. Die Autorin schafft es, sehr einfühlsam, ohne Kitsch und ohne Lebensweisheiten vermitteln zu wollen, über Tod und Trauer und den Umgang damit zu erzählen. Besonders die Schicksale der Jugendlichen gingen mir sehr nahe. Auch die Rolle von Peter Pan, wie Asher die Leiterin der Trauergruppen nennt, war sehr geschickt angelegt, ihre Methoden gefielen mir.
Vor dem letzten Drittel nimmt das Buch eine dramatische Wendung, die ich so nicht kommen sah, die aber vieles klarstellt. Für mich ein sehr gelungenes Buch, das unbedingt mehr Leser*innen verdient.
August 17, 2022
4.5*
This lovely story is both heartbreaking and heartwarming, and I absolutely enjoyed the ride (road trip pun mildly intended). We're introduced to Asher, who has lost in mom in a pretty horrific car accident about a year ago. He has now fully devoted his existence to A) trying to keep his existing family alive, no matter how many of his sister's bikes he must destroy, and B) plotting to literally murder the drunk driver who killed his mom. He is... well look, he isn't doing well. He goes to grief support groups, but mostly to be snarky, until he meets a few people who may just understand what he is dealing with.
First he encounters Henry, an elderly fellow who has lost his wife Evelyn. Asher befriends Henry, but also finds some friends of his own generation at a bereavement group for young people. Sloan has lost her father, and Will who lost his little brother. Henry mentions that Evelyn has always wanted to go to Graceland, and since Asher's revenge victim (and also his date to prom, but that is another story altogether) are in Memphis, he decides to get the whole band together for a road trip!
So, as you can imagine, this book is going to be full of the feels. Each character, and their deceased love one, frankly, is incredibly well developed. I fell in love with each of them- perhaps even before I fell in love with Asher- and their stories wormed their way into my heart. They were all in very different places with their grief, but the bottom line was that they all really needed each other, to have that support from someone who could understand what they are going through. They had finally found people who didn't try to force them to tamp down their grief, or shy away from the hard topics. Here, on this unsanctioned road trip, they were able to share their loved ones' stories, and in many cases, favorite meals. They didn't have to tiptoe around the non-grievers, to hide their pain and put on false fronts.
I don't want to give away too much of this emotional journey, so I will just say that the book is full of amazing characters, a lot of friendship, and was hugely therapy positive. The characters undergo a ton of growth during their trip, but they are in no way done grieving. The author does a great job of making this trip life changing, but not in any way a fix-all, and it was truly the perfect balance.
Bottom Line: This book broke my heart, and then put it back together again mile by mile.
You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight
“Life is basically a miserable black hole and we’re only here for the cookies.”
This lovely story is both heartbreaking and heartwarming, and I absolutely enjoyed the ride (road trip pun mildly intended). We're introduced to Asher, who has lost in mom in a pretty horrific car accident about a year ago. He has now fully devoted his existence to A) trying to keep his existing family alive, no matter how many of his sister's bikes he must destroy, and B) plotting to literally murder the drunk driver who killed his mom. He is... well look, he isn't doing well. He goes to grief support groups, but mostly to be snarky, until he meets a few people who may just understand what he is dealing with.
First he encounters Henry, an elderly fellow who has lost his wife Evelyn. Asher befriends Henry, but also finds some friends of his own generation at a bereavement group for young people. Sloan has lost her father, and Will who lost his little brother. Henry mentions that Evelyn has always wanted to go to Graceland, and since Asher's revenge victim (and also his date to prom, but that is another story altogether) are in Memphis, he decides to get the whole band together for a road trip!
"En route I fell in love with a car full of strangers. And half of them were dead."
So, as you can imagine, this book is going to be full of the feels. Each character, and their deceased love one, frankly, is incredibly well developed. I fell in love with each of them- perhaps even before I fell in love with Asher- and their stories wormed their way into my heart. They were all in very different places with their grief, but the bottom line was that they all really needed each other, to have that support from someone who could understand what they are going through. They had finally found people who didn't try to force them to tamp down their grief, or shy away from the hard topics. Here, on this unsanctioned road trip, they were able to share their loved ones' stories, and in many cases, favorite meals. They didn't have to tiptoe around the non-grievers, to hide their pain and put on false fronts.
I don't want to give away too much of this emotional journey, so I will just say that the book is full of amazing characters, a lot of friendship, and was hugely therapy positive. The characters undergo a ton of growth during their trip, but they are in no way done grieving. The author does a great job of making this trip life changing, but not in any way a fix-all, and it was truly the perfect balance.
Bottom Line: This book broke my heart, and then put it back together again mile by mile.
You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight
August 28, 2022
Five stars for this brilliant, heart-breaking novel about loss, grief, and friendship. These characters (even the dead ones) are so real. One of my favorite books of the year; a must read.
Read
November 6, 2022I mean, I’m standing here with Will and Henry and Evelyn next to my dad’s stolen car, and I’m trying to decide if I’m going to kill Jack Daniels, and Henry’s trying to figure out where the fuck he is, and Will’s quoting The Godfather and John Lennon and Oprah while Sloane is back at the hotel plotting to steal a Harley and probably still trying to calm her mom down about some lie she told about a litter of fabricated premature orphaned gerbil/hamsters to make her more comfortable with the fact that she ran away to Graceland with an octogenarian and two weird kids from her bereavement group–one of whom might be full-on deranged and about to commit a felony.
If you want to love that sentence as much as I do, you have to read K. J. Reilly’s One for the Road.
Asher’s mom was killed by a drunk driver who got off on a technicality. A year later, Asher is not doing well. His grief process is an internal, psychological journey, but it also manifests itself in behaviors that are hard for others to understand. When Asher begins attending multiple bereavement groups that put him in touch with people experiencing similar emotions and actions, he finds friends for the first time since his mother’s death.
Asher has a goal, and it doesn’t involve following the therapeutic suggestions of Peter Pan, his group leader. He intends to drive from New Jersey to Memphis and kill Jack Daniels, the drunk driver who killed his mother. Asher invites three friends from his bereavement group to come along with him, although he doesn’t tell them exactly why he’s going, His fellow travelers include Henry, a somewhat senile senior citizen who brings his late wife’s ashes wherever he goes; Sloane, a leather-clad girl grieving the loss of her Harley-riding father; and Will, a shaggy-haired existentialist whose younger brother’s cancer death challenges his belief system.
K. J. Reilly brings these characters to life through Asher’s stream-of-consciousness narrative and quirky details that are too good not to be real. Each character’s energy is combustible enough to create moments that are sometimes dramatically emotional and other times hilariously surreal. For example, Henry’s late wife Evelyn liked to eat at Applebee’s so that’s where the group always stops on their trip, ordering food not only for themselves but for their lost loved ones: “four entrees plus two grilled chicken Caesar salads for the two Evelyns, the Bourbon Street steak and garlic mashed potatoes for Sloane’s dad, the chicken mac and cheese from the kids’ menu for Michael, a Coke, two Earl Grey teas, and eight Triple Chocolate Meltdowns.” The servers are understandably confused.
Readers will quickly engage with these unforgettable characters, Asher’s intensely introspective narrative voice, and K. J. Reilly’s absorbing plot, but the real power in Four for the Road is how it illuminates the effects of grief. Early in the book, Asher says that “if you are living a life that no longer has purpose it tends to end in a hurry,” but by the end, Four for the Road subtly suggests possible paths for navigating such trauma.
This review is also on my What's Not Wrong? blog in slightly different form.
If you want to love that sentence as much as I do, you have to read K. J. Reilly’s One for the Road.
Asher’s mom was killed by a drunk driver who got off on a technicality. A year later, Asher is not doing well. His grief process is an internal, psychological journey, but it also manifests itself in behaviors that are hard for others to understand. When Asher begins attending multiple bereavement groups that put him in touch with people experiencing similar emotions and actions, he finds friends for the first time since his mother’s death.
Asher has a goal, and it doesn’t involve following the therapeutic suggestions of Peter Pan, his group leader. He intends to drive from New Jersey to Memphis and kill Jack Daniels, the drunk driver who killed his mother. Asher invites three friends from his bereavement group to come along with him, although he doesn’t tell them exactly why he’s going, His fellow travelers include Henry, a somewhat senile senior citizen who brings his late wife’s ashes wherever he goes; Sloane, a leather-clad girl grieving the loss of her Harley-riding father; and Will, a shaggy-haired existentialist whose younger brother’s cancer death challenges his belief system.
K. J. Reilly brings these characters to life through Asher’s stream-of-consciousness narrative and quirky details that are too good not to be real. Each character’s energy is combustible enough to create moments that are sometimes dramatically emotional and other times hilariously surreal. For example, Henry’s late wife Evelyn liked to eat at Applebee’s so that’s where the group always stops on their trip, ordering food not only for themselves but for their lost loved ones: “four entrees plus two grilled chicken Caesar salads for the two Evelyns, the Bourbon Street steak and garlic mashed potatoes for Sloane’s dad, the chicken mac and cheese from the kids’ menu for Michael, a Coke, two Earl Grey teas, and eight Triple Chocolate Meltdowns.” The servers are understandably confused.
Readers will quickly engage with these unforgettable characters, Asher’s intensely introspective narrative voice, and K. J. Reilly’s absorbing plot, but the real power in Four for the Road is how it illuminates the effects of grief. Early in the book, Asher says that “if you are living a life that no longer has purpose it tends to end in a hurry,” but by the end, Four for the Road subtly suggests possible paths for navigating such trauma.
This review is also on my What's Not Wrong? blog in slightly different form.
November 21, 2024
Menschen, die trauern, einen Literatur Tipp zu geben, finde ich immer sehr schwierig. Oft sind Bücher, die sich mit der Bewältigung befassen sehr spirituell oder zu sachlich, und gerade in der ersten Phase nach einem schweren Verlust nicht unbedingt trostspendend. Dieses Buch würde ich allerdings jedem empfehlen, der sich in einer solch schwierigen Situation befindet, oder Menschen kennt, denen dieses widerfahren ist und sie begleiten möchte
Asher hat seine Mutter bei einem Autounfall verloren als sie für ihn Fußballschuhe kaufen fährt. Der Fahrer des Trucks war alkoholisiert und wird von ihm als „Jack Daniels“ bezeichnet. Er kam ohne Bestrafung davon. Trauer und Wut vermischen sich im Kopf des 17jährigen, dessen ICH Perspektive uns ganz nah bei ihm sein lässt. Immer und immer wieder dreht sich der Unfall in seinem Kopf. Für ihn gibt es eine neue Zeitrechnung, die sich im Zählen von Stunden, Minuten und Sekunden zeigt. Er will seine kleine Schwester obsessiv beschützen und lässt ihr kaum Freiraum. Sein Umfeld ist besorgt und so bekommt er viele Gesprächspartner angeboten, die er auch aufsucht, aber er will nicht mit ihnen sprechen und doch kommen die absurdesten Gedanken aus ihm heraus die meist von blinder Wut geprägt sind. Auch der Besuch mehrerer Selbsthilfegruppen lässt ihn unversöhnlich und verletzt zurück. Doch er lernt dort Menschen kennen, denen es ähnlich ergangen ist, und die ihn auf einer Mission begleiten, von der sie den Ausgang nicht wissen können. Denn Asher möchte „Jack Daniels“ in Memphis besuchen und ihn töten.
Diese unglaublich emotionsgeladene Geschichte hat mich von der ersten Seite an mitgerissen. Die Autorin hat es geschafft sich so gut in den Kopf eines zerbrochenen, Teenagers zu versetzen, dass die repetitiven Gedanken, die er hat nicht ermüdend, sondern sehr authentisch wirkten. Ich habe so sehr gehofft, dass es Wendungen gibt, die ihn erkennen lassen, dass sein Leben weiter gehen muss. Die Methoden zur Trauerbewältigung, die er von seinen Freunden aber auch von „Peter Pan“ erhält, sind interessant und haben mir neue Möglichkeiten und Sichtweisen eröffnet.
Am Anfang ist mein Herz mehrfach zerbrochen, weil ich so mit ihm gefühlt habe und besonders die Szenen, in denen sich seine Trauer in Overprotecting äußert, sind mir sehr nahe gegangen. Die Hilflosigkeit der Menschen, die ihm nahestehen ist spürbar. Die Leiterin der Selbsthilfegruppe hat ihre Rolle gut ausgefüllt. So jemanden wünscht man sich an seiner Seite, wenn es einem schlecht geht.
Ashers Gefährt*innen sind nahbar und jeder bringt etwas Wichtiges mit in die Geschichte ein
Sprachlich hat mir der Roman ebenfalls sehr gut gefallen. Dies ist ein Jugendbuch, und das schlägt sich auch in der Ausdrucksweise nieder. Wir haben hier Umgangssprache und sich immer im kreisdrehende Gedanken, in denen Emotionen ablesbar sind, aber es wirkt weder aufgesetzt noch unnatürlich. Ich empfehle diese Lektüre ausdrücklich nicht nur Jugendlichen, sondern halte es auch für ein gutes Buch, das Erwachsenen helfen kann sich besser in Trauernde hinein zu versetzen. Mich hat es auf jeden Fall sehr begeistert und ich hätte nicht gedacht, dass es ein Highlight wird. Ist es aber!
Asher hat seine Mutter bei einem Autounfall verloren als sie für ihn Fußballschuhe kaufen fährt. Der Fahrer des Trucks war alkoholisiert und wird von ihm als „Jack Daniels“ bezeichnet. Er kam ohne Bestrafung davon. Trauer und Wut vermischen sich im Kopf des 17jährigen, dessen ICH Perspektive uns ganz nah bei ihm sein lässt. Immer und immer wieder dreht sich der Unfall in seinem Kopf. Für ihn gibt es eine neue Zeitrechnung, die sich im Zählen von Stunden, Minuten und Sekunden zeigt. Er will seine kleine Schwester obsessiv beschützen und lässt ihr kaum Freiraum. Sein Umfeld ist besorgt und so bekommt er viele Gesprächspartner angeboten, die er auch aufsucht, aber er will nicht mit ihnen sprechen und doch kommen die absurdesten Gedanken aus ihm heraus die meist von blinder Wut geprägt sind. Auch der Besuch mehrerer Selbsthilfegruppen lässt ihn unversöhnlich und verletzt zurück. Doch er lernt dort Menschen kennen, denen es ähnlich ergangen ist, und die ihn auf einer Mission begleiten, von der sie den Ausgang nicht wissen können. Denn Asher möchte „Jack Daniels“ in Memphis besuchen und ihn töten.
Diese unglaublich emotionsgeladene Geschichte hat mich von der ersten Seite an mitgerissen. Die Autorin hat es geschafft sich so gut in den Kopf eines zerbrochenen, Teenagers zu versetzen, dass die repetitiven Gedanken, die er hat nicht ermüdend, sondern sehr authentisch wirkten. Ich habe so sehr gehofft, dass es Wendungen gibt, die ihn erkennen lassen, dass sein Leben weiter gehen muss. Die Methoden zur Trauerbewältigung, die er von seinen Freunden aber auch von „Peter Pan“ erhält, sind interessant und haben mir neue Möglichkeiten und Sichtweisen eröffnet.
Am Anfang ist mein Herz mehrfach zerbrochen, weil ich so mit ihm gefühlt habe und besonders die Szenen, in denen sich seine Trauer in Overprotecting äußert, sind mir sehr nahe gegangen. Die Hilflosigkeit der Menschen, die ihm nahestehen ist spürbar. Die Leiterin der Selbsthilfegruppe hat ihre Rolle gut ausgefüllt. So jemanden wünscht man sich an seiner Seite, wenn es einem schlecht geht.
Ashers Gefährt*innen sind nahbar und jeder bringt etwas Wichtiges mit in die Geschichte ein
Sprachlich hat mir der Roman ebenfalls sehr gut gefallen. Dies ist ein Jugendbuch, und das schlägt sich auch in der Ausdrucksweise nieder. Wir haben hier Umgangssprache und sich immer im kreisdrehende Gedanken, in denen Emotionen ablesbar sind, aber es wirkt weder aufgesetzt noch unnatürlich. Ich empfehle diese Lektüre ausdrücklich nicht nur Jugendlichen, sondern halte es auch für ein gutes Buch, das Erwachsenen helfen kann sich besser in Trauernde hinein zu versetzen. Mich hat es auf jeden Fall sehr begeistert und ich hätte nicht gedacht, dass es ein Highlight wird. Ist es aber!
August 10, 2025
Owwww my heart 💔
February 19, 2023
As soon as I saw this book in my school library, I knew that I would love it! I picked it up and finished it in a day :)
The main theme of this book is grief. I feel like I learned a lot about myself and the way I cope with loss through this book. I adored the characters because each one was so uniquely themselves. Even side characters, like Peter Pan (adorable) or Grace (total badass) were captivating. My favorite character was definitely Henry, he was super wholesome.
The ending of this book made me cry. I loved following Asher and his story, it wrapped up nicely. I never wanted this book to end.
I would recommend this book for anyone who likes reading about angsty teens and spontaneous road trips!
I wish I could write a better review on this but I feel like you kinda just have to read the book :)
The main theme of this book is grief. I feel like I learned a lot about myself and the way I cope with loss through this book. I adored the characters because each one was so uniquely themselves. Even side characters, like Peter Pan (adorable) or Grace (total badass) were captivating. My favorite character was definitely Henry, he was super wholesome.
The ending of this book made me cry. I loved following Asher and his story, it wrapped up nicely. I never wanted this book to end.
I would recommend this book for anyone who likes reading about angsty teens and spontaneous road trips!
I wish I could write a better review on this but I feel like you kinda just have to read the book :)
June 2, 2023
All the stars! This was emotional and beautiful! A book full of pain, love, grief, and healing.
December 16, 2023
Four for the Road is one of the best books I have read about grief, and the change one road trip has on the lives of several people. Asher, the protagonist of the book, is a character that feels so human. I loved K.J. Reilly's characterization and writing. Asher is a person who is filled with so much emotion: rage, pain, grief, sorrow, and anxiety. He is driven by his desire to get revenge for his mother when she is killed by a drunk driver. As he attends three different bereavement groups he meets humans each dealing with their own grief.
Asher's inner monologues felt so visceral; one thought after another colliding until he becomes trapped in his mind. There are subtle parts of his character, such as his fixation with the aluminum foil wrapped around his sister's hands, and the seconds he takes to remember his mother's death in the morning. Specific details like this show how much thought and attention was put into building his character. Sloane was another character I loved—she was brave and compassionate. Will was hilarious, but also incredibly wise. Henry's love for Evelyn adds a heart-warming element to the melancholy mood within the story. The road trip these characters take acts as both a physical and metaphorical journey for the characters.
Asher learns the power of human connection. Four for the Road is a beautiful story about the long and hard journey of healing; and the important relationships one will make throughout life.
Movie Recommendation if you liked this: The Fundamentals of Caring
✅PLOT
✅CHARACTERS
Asher's inner monologues felt so visceral; one thought after another colliding until he becomes trapped in his mind. There are subtle parts of his character, such as his fixation with the aluminum foil wrapped around his sister's hands, and the seconds he takes to remember his mother's death in the morning. Specific details like this show how much thought and attention was put into building his character. Sloane was another character I loved—she was brave and compassionate. Will was hilarious, but also incredibly wise. Henry's love for Evelyn adds a heart-warming element to the melancholy mood within the story. The road trip these characters take acts as both a physical and metaphorical journey for the characters.
Asher learns the power of human connection. Four for the Road is a beautiful story about the long and hard journey of healing; and the important relationships one will make throughout life.
Movie Recommendation if you liked this: The Fundamentals of Caring
✅PLOT
✅CHARACTERS
March 12, 2023
Loved the tactful and gracious way grief was handled, showing the different perspectives of the characters and their way of working through it. I liked the stream of consciousness way of writing. Pretty heavy subject matter and didn’t necessarily leave me feeling less heavy, but provided hopeful ending that was progress but not necessarily final. Interesting read, would recommend if you’re interested in the stream of consciousness style, narrator who is unabashedly going through it, and a squad of people who help each other through it while also working through their own grief journeys on the way.
April 28, 2023
Four members of a grief support group on a road trip? The plot did not appeal to me, yet I loved every second spent in the thrall of this book. I especially loved its funny but sad characters who are so very relatable in their search for meaning, connection, and the ability to find hope again, while they balance the need to be sad but not self-destruct sad. Many readers gravitate to favorite genres. I cannot imagine a reader asking for a book about a road trip taken for revenge, where the main character is catfishing a girl whose Dad killed his Mom in a drunk driving accident, who brings 2 teens and an 80 year old who are also grieving people they have lost, while trying to move forward while never letting go. It’s a lot. Yet, I’ll be handing this book to as many readers as possible. I think everyone can gain something through its pages and the kinship found between unlikely friends in unlikely circumstances, just when everything seems impossible. Through sentences that gallop through Asher’s skittish energy, Reilly captures her main character’s angst, anger, and fear, but also his yearning for relief, for a plan, and for absolution. I also loved the author’s note at the end which reads as a love letter and a farewell to the book’s characters who are destined to stay with the reader long after the road trip’s end. I just might have to go to Applebees and order a chicken Caesar salad – for Evelyn.
February 3, 2023
I wasn't sure about the writing style of this one at first. I thought I was going to hate it. But I ended up really liking it and feeling like the stream-of-consciousness style was really authentic.
I loved this book. The characters felt so real and so flawed and yet so lovable. I love a good road trip book. I liked how some really solid therapy techniques were woven in with the characters' authentic reactions and not-always-healthy coping mechanisms.
I was really worried about how the part with Grace would turn out,
I loved this book. The characters felt so real and so flawed and yet so lovable. I love a good road trip book. I liked how some really solid therapy techniques were woven in with the characters' authentic reactions and not-always-healthy coping mechanisms.
I was really worried about how the part with Grace would turn out,
August 1, 2022
i adored this !! the writing style was incredibly chaotic and it really felt like i was in asher’s head.
you know when you’re panicking and you’re trying to get all your thoughts and words out as fast as you possibly can ? that’s what the writing style was like.
you know when you’re panicking and you’re trying to get all your thoughts and words out as fast as you possibly can ? that’s what the writing style was like.
November 16, 2022
I wish y’all could see a picture of me right now sobbing from the last 2 or 3 chapters of this book. I’m a completely wreck. Really needed the reminder that grief is messy and not the same for anyone.
May 16, 2023
Recentemente eu li 3 livros seguidos em que o luto era um dos temas e fiquei comovida com os três( a quem interessar, os livros foram este - óbvio -, Better Than The Movies/Melhor que nos filmes e To Sir, With Love/Para Sir, com amor). Após 32 anos de vida, finalmente me deparei com histórias que mostram personagens em luto do mesmo jeito que eu lido com ele.
Apesar de ler muito, falar pelos cotovelos e gostar de escrever (seja resenhas ou recados ou lembretes das tarefas diárias e semanais que tenho), não acho que domino a arte de me expressar muito bem. Então sempre fico confortada quando encontro resenhas e textos literários que expressem exatamente minha opinião ou sentimentos.
Four for the road fez isso brilhantemente enquanto acompanhamos Asher, Henry, Will, Sloane lidando com a vida após a morte da mãe, esposa, irmão caçula e o pai. O modo como eles morreram variam. Algumas mortes foram esperadas e outras não, mas de toda forma, essas pessoas se foram e agora cabe aos personagens lideram com essa ausência. E, para eles, têm sido muito difícil. Insuportavelmente difícil. E alguns deles têm família, pais, irmãos e irmãs, mães... que estão sofrendo, mas parecem lidar com.a ausência daquela pessoa querida de uma maneira bem mais saudável do que eles. Parece que os outros estão seguindo em frente e eles empacados na dor de saber que aquela pessoa querida não está mais aqui e a vida mudou para sempre.
Eu iniciei a leitura deste livro no dia 23 de dezembro de 2022 e só concluí hoje, 16 de maio de 2023. Li conscientemente em doses homeopáticas porque queria amar este livro. Queria que ele me marcasse para a vida toda. E toda vez que sentia que não era o momento de ler mais uma página, que não estava com humor pra isso ou algo assim, eu pausava a leitura.
Acredito que a autora mereça um prêmio pelo livro, ela fez um excelente trabalho expressando o luto de Asher e de todo mundo que aparece aqui. Mas o luto não é algo contínuo, tampouco conciso e rápido. Um dia estamos bem; no outro, não. Um dia a gente esquece que morreu alguém e sentimos alegria por algo e depois lembramos que morreu alguém e voltamos no looping do sofrimento e tristeza.
E a autora colocou tudo isso aqui. O que é ótimo, mas significa que o livro é repetitivo. Até a autora admitiu nos Acknowledgments que o protagonista tem muitos monólogos internos. E as informações se repetem. Eu entendi a intenção da autora com isso, concordo com o que ela fez porque é assim que me sinto quando estou tentando sobreviver à perda de alguém querido. Mas também entendo quem ler e se encher dos monólogos e das repetições. Quem achar cansativa. Os personagens também acham.
Enfim, eu poderia escrever e escrever - e nunca encontrar as palavras corretas que quero usar - para enaltecer este livro. Eu o descobri através de um unboxing de uma bookstagrammer que adoro, gostei da sinopse e me sinto abençoada de ter dado uma chance. Espero que alguma editora no Brasil publique este livro e outros leitores se identifiquem assim como eu.
Apesar de ler muito, falar pelos cotovelos e gostar de escrever (seja resenhas ou recados ou lembretes das tarefas diárias e semanais que tenho), não acho que domino a arte de me expressar muito bem. Então sempre fico confortada quando encontro resenhas e textos literários que expressem exatamente minha opinião ou sentimentos.
Four for the road fez isso brilhantemente enquanto acompanhamos Asher, Henry, Will, Sloane lidando com a vida após a morte da mãe, esposa, irmão caçula e o pai. O modo como eles morreram variam. Algumas mortes foram esperadas e outras não, mas de toda forma, essas pessoas se foram e agora cabe aos personagens lideram com essa ausência. E, para eles, têm sido muito difícil. Insuportavelmente difícil. E alguns deles têm família, pais, irmãos e irmãs, mães... que estão sofrendo, mas parecem lidar com.a ausência daquela pessoa querida de uma maneira bem mais saudável do que eles. Parece que os outros estão seguindo em frente e eles empacados na dor de saber que aquela pessoa querida não está mais aqui e a vida mudou para sempre.
Eu iniciei a leitura deste livro no dia 23 de dezembro de 2022 e só concluí hoje, 16 de maio de 2023. Li conscientemente em doses homeopáticas porque queria amar este livro. Queria que ele me marcasse para a vida toda. E toda vez que sentia que não era o momento de ler mais uma página, que não estava com humor pra isso ou algo assim, eu pausava a leitura.
Acredito que a autora mereça um prêmio pelo livro, ela fez um excelente trabalho expressando o luto de Asher e de todo mundo que aparece aqui. Mas o luto não é algo contínuo, tampouco conciso e rápido. Um dia estamos bem; no outro, não. Um dia a gente esquece que morreu alguém e sentimos alegria por algo e depois lembramos que morreu alguém e voltamos no looping do sofrimento e tristeza.
E a autora colocou tudo isso aqui. O que é ótimo, mas significa que o livro é repetitivo. Até a autora admitiu nos Acknowledgments que o protagonista tem muitos monólogos internos. E as informações se repetem. Eu entendi a intenção da autora com isso, concordo com o que ela fez porque é assim que me sinto quando estou tentando sobreviver à perda de alguém querido. Mas também entendo quem ler e se encher dos monólogos e das repetições. Quem achar cansativa. Os personagens também acham.
Enfim, eu poderia escrever e escrever - e nunca encontrar as palavras corretas que quero usar - para enaltecer este livro. Eu o descobri através de um unboxing de uma bookstagrammer que adoro, gostei da sinopse e me sinto abençoada de ter dado uma chance. Espero que alguma editora no Brasil publique este livro e outros leitores se identifiquem assim como eu.
November 9, 2023
3.5
As an exploration of painful loss and grief, there are some deeply resonant moments.
As a novel, I found little in the plot or characterization to latch onto, much less appreciate. Knowing (even if just from the cover art) that this would be a teenage road trip book that includes an elderly person on the journey, I was surprised at how underdeveloped, unexplored, and generally, exploitative the intergenerational relationship was. The "octogenarian" (his age is never confirmed or even asked about) is portrayed by the author and perceived by the characters at best as a quaint caricature of dementia (nothing quaint about that) and at worst, as an ageist and ablest symbol (and totally unrealistic portrayal) through which the younger characters can count themselves lucky for being young. (Ex: What human over the age of 45, much less 75, can ride in a car for 24+ hours without needing multiple bathroom stops and a real bed to sleep in to recover from back pain? And how do you write a book about a 2000 mile roundtrip road trip where no one attempts a single conversation with the one person the others haven't met before?)
The book does capture many of the world-exploding and world-shutting-down responses that can happen because of trauma, and all the illogical logic that festers in the midst of unaddressed suffering, but without characters that feel like they have real bodies, personalities, and motivations, it was hard to deeply engage in their journey.
As an exploration of painful loss and grief, there are some deeply resonant moments.
As a novel, I found little in the plot or characterization to latch onto, much less appreciate. Knowing (even if just from the cover art) that this would be a teenage road trip book that includes an elderly person on the journey, I was surprised at how underdeveloped, unexplored, and generally, exploitative the intergenerational relationship was. The "octogenarian" (his age is never confirmed or even asked about) is portrayed by the author and perceived by the characters at best as a quaint caricature of dementia (nothing quaint about that) and at worst, as an ageist and ablest symbol (and totally unrealistic portrayal) through which the younger characters can count themselves lucky for being young. (Ex: What human over the age of 45, much less 75, can ride in a car for 24+ hours without needing multiple bathroom stops and a real bed to sleep in to recover from back pain? And how do you write a book about a 2000 mile roundtrip road trip where no one attempts a single conversation with the one person the others haven't met before?)
The book does capture many of the world-exploding and world-shutting-down responses that can happen because of trauma, and all the illogical logic that festers in the midst of unaddressed suffering, but without characters that feel like they have real bodies, personalities, and motivations, it was hard to deeply engage in their journey.
February 8, 2023
"Life is a miserable black hole and we're only here for the cookies". Thus starts Asher's experience with grief groups following the death of his mother in a drunk-driving accident. Asher is focused on revenge, not healing. He wants justice for his mom. Her murderer went free on a technicality and Asher can't move past the accident as long as "Jack Daniels" is free. As he forms attachments in the groups he attends and tries to protect his little sister from a myriad of dangers, he begins to feel empathy and appreciate community. Will these new connections be enough to turn him away from revenge? This feels like a very realistic portrayal of teen grief. The relationships are lovely and at times frustrating and you can feel the weight of grief and worry Asher's dad carries around every day.
January 27, 2025
Tiefe Trauer, aber zu wenig Tiefgang
Die Geschichte beginnt schleppend und (dem Thema geschuldet) sehr schwer mit Trauer, Schuldgefühlen und dem Versuch, irgendwie weiterzumachen. Im ersten Viertel hin so ein dunkle Wolke über den Seiten, dass ich mich gefragt habe, ob Jugendliche das lesen wollen.
Wenn dann der Roadtrip beginnt, hebt sich die Stimmung ein bisschen. Es kommt zu leichteren, herzerwärmenden Szenen und es beginnt eine emotionale Achterbahnfahrt. Man lernt die Figuren besser kennen, aber selbst der Ich-Erzähler bleibt blass. Die anderen sind auf den Bezug zu den Personen reduziert, die sie verloren haben. Mir hat es an Tiefe gefehlt, was angesichts des Themas wie Blasphemie klingen mag.
Ich hatte mir mehr Zwischenmenschliches erwartet. Weniger philosophische Floskeln. Und weit weniger den Tick der Autorin, Gedanken der Figuren zweimal zu erwähnen. Beim zweiten mal bitteschön in Großbuchstaben, damit der Leser ja die Dringlichkeit auch versteht.
Alles in allem war ich enttäuscht.
Die Geschichte beginnt schleppend und (dem Thema geschuldet) sehr schwer mit Trauer, Schuldgefühlen und dem Versuch, irgendwie weiterzumachen. Im ersten Viertel hin so ein dunkle Wolke über den Seiten, dass ich mich gefragt habe, ob Jugendliche das lesen wollen.
Wenn dann der Roadtrip beginnt, hebt sich die Stimmung ein bisschen. Es kommt zu leichteren, herzerwärmenden Szenen und es beginnt eine emotionale Achterbahnfahrt. Man lernt die Figuren besser kennen, aber selbst der Ich-Erzähler bleibt blass. Die anderen sind auf den Bezug zu den Personen reduziert, die sie verloren haben. Mir hat es an Tiefe gefehlt, was angesichts des Themas wie Blasphemie klingen mag.
Ich hatte mir mehr Zwischenmenschliches erwartet. Weniger philosophische Floskeln. Und weit weniger den Tick der Autorin, Gedanken der Figuren zweimal zu erwähnen. Beim zweiten mal bitteschön in Großbuchstaben, damit der Leser ja die Dringlichkeit auch versteht.
Alles in allem war ich enttäuscht.
March 11, 2023
Fantastic story of unlikely friendship, a road trip, and forgiveness, all while grappling with unimaginable grief. Four friends meet at a support group and find healing in an adventure, as badly planned as it is. Despite the theme of mourning and grief, this book has humor and sweetness and understanding. I definitely got some John Green vibes from this one—excellent guy friendships and crazy adventures and lots of nerdy references.
October 17, 2022
OK - first off, THIS IS NOT A HAPPY STORY!! But..the range of emotions that I felt while reading went from deep sadness 😞 to amusement 😁 to LOL 😂! I loved the characters, especially the young adults, who were portrayed perfectly - so much so that I wish I could meet them irl. The plot development right through to the ending was great. K.J. Reilly is an extremely talented writer. 5-stars!!
March 15, 2023
Four unlikely friends that met in a hospital bereavement group chose to take a road trip to Memphis.
One to visit Graceland, one to ride a Harley down Beale Street, one to face the randomness of cancer, one to murder the truck driver that killed his mother. Along the way the group learns to trust one another and commit to helping one another get through the pain they are experiencing. Fun and entertaining characters that will pull at your heart strings. This is a story that builds empathy, shows forgiveness, and provides hope.
One to visit Graceland, one to ride a Harley down Beale Street, one to face the randomness of cancer, one to murder the truck driver that killed his mother. Along the way the group learns to trust one another and commit to helping one another get through the pain they are experiencing. Fun and entertaining characters that will pull at your heart strings. This is a story that builds empathy, shows forgiveness, and provides hope.
June 2, 2023
Loved the author’s writing style.
The characters, character development and friendships in the book are top notch.
You know it’s a good book if you are thinking “did they turn this into a movie?”…. “if not, they should really turn this into a movie!”
The endings... (Bows galore 🎀).
The characters, character development and friendships in the book are top notch.
You know it’s a good book if you are thinking “did they turn this into a movie?”…. “if not, they should really turn this into a movie!”
The endings... (Bows galore 🎀).
September 19, 2022
3 Teens & an octogenarian take a road trip to Memphis, each with their own reasons. It was supposed to take 16 hours, but when you can only drive 39 MPH....
Will they all accomplish their Memphis goals?
I Cried, I Laughed & I sang along.
I rooted for this group to work through their grief and learn to live again.
Will they all accomplish their Memphis goals?
I Cried, I Laughed & I sang along.
I rooted for this group to work through their grief and learn to live again.
January 15, 2024
Wow- what an emotional rollercoaster!
May 16, 2025
Heartbreaking (but with an upturn)
This book was amazing - literally read it in 2 days … maybe closer to 28 hrs because I couldn’t put it down! Compelling characters with amazing storylines and they all fit together so perfectly! ❤️
This book was amazing - literally read it in 2 days … maybe closer to 28 hrs because I couldn’t put it down! Compelling characters with amazing storylines and they all fit together so perfectly! ❤️
May 29, 2023
I really enjoyed this book!!! It was a fun read, and if you like books like perks of being a wallflower, this is similar only in the sense of mental health being the biggest topic in the book, dealing with trauma and loss. It is much more sarcastic and or comical, which drives home the dark humor aspect of it. I think its wonderfully written and an accurate representation of what trauma is and how it affects people differently. Would recommend!
October 18, 2022
Shitting tears
March 26, 2023
An awesome, authentic narrative about grief!
Asher is a seventeen year old boy who is still processing his mom being killed by a drunk driver a year later. He starts attending a few different bereavement groups and becomes friends with others who are grieving too. Asher end up taking a road trip with them intending to get revenge, but instead he just might find a path of forgiveness.
I loved this story and how honestly it portrayed the true depths and messiness of grief!
Asher is a seventeen year old boy who is still processing his mom being killed by a drunk driver a year later. He starts attending a few different bereavement groups and becomes friends with others who are grieving too. Asher end up taking a road trip with them intending to get revenge, but instead he just might find a path of forgiveness.
I loved this story and how honestly it portrayed the true depths and messiness of grief!
January 8, 2024
Incredibly sad. I cried off and on throughout the entire book. It was touching and funny and zany and kind but also filled with grief and all its messiness.
April 7, 2024
"En route I fell in love with a car full of strangers. And half of them were dead."
This is one of the freshest voices in YA. I can genuinely say I haven't read anything like this book before, and it was an enjoyable ride. Go in not knowing very much, because trust me, you're going to want to feel the surprises in full force as they come up.
TW: grief, car accident (on-page, graphic), loss of a parent (drunk driving accident, cancer), loss of a spouse (assisted suicide), loss of a sibling (cancer), catfishing, alcoholism, discussions of death & suicide
The trigger warnings seem intense, but this book is kinda like John Green's books: heavy doses of cynicism and wit, coupled with dark humor, but humor nonetheless. I laughed quite a bit.
This book is perfect for those who don't like a lot of romance in their coming-of-age YA novels, who love a ragtag cast of characters, and who like their books with a dash of weird. Our main character Asher goes to multiple group therapies each week and is planning to murder the man who killed his mother. There are motorcycles and an old man who orders his dead wife food at Applebee's and a spur of the moment road trip to Graceland but also to a prom.
YA books about grief are kind of a convoluted space on the shelves, but I think Four for the Road should be given more attention. It's truly unlike the other titles out there, and I think the portrayal of grief is one more people deserve to read.
Recommend for those who liked Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, anything by John Green, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, or Mosquitoland.
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