The Tension of Tidy: Uncovering God's Perfect Grace for Your Imperfect Space

by Hilary Bernstein

Are you feeling the pressure to keep your home looking picture-perfect amid the chaos of work and family life? Well, take a deep breath, because Hilary Bernstein has a message just for you. In The Tension of Tidy, she gently reminds you that your home doesn't need to mirror the flawless spaces seen on TV or social media. With a comforting biblical perspective, Hilary assures that God's grace extends to your homemaking journey.

Instead of encouraging the chase after elusive perfection, The Tension of Tidy invites you to pause and reflect on the Psalms, allowing God to reshape your outlook on homemaking and say goodbye to the constant pressure of keeping up with ever-changing trends and expectations. With these Scriptures, you'll discover that life can find a beautiful balance between productivity and rest, all fueled by God's unwavering grace.

Drawing from her experience as a women's ministry director, Hilary offers practical advice, relatable anecdotes, thought-provoking questions, and action steps to help you maintain a tidy home without losing your sanity. You can let go of the stress and embrace the grace-filled journey of homemaking.

240 pages, Paperback

Published January 28, 2025

Reviews

[Ruthie Schifano · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my, there is so much to love about this book. I have been longing for a book just like this to speak into the everyday struggles of keeping a home! Hilary is practical and compassionate, weaving personal scenarios and lessons into her thoughtful analysis of what Scripture has to say about our homes and how we care for them. This book was the exact opposite of overwhelming. Love, love, love.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Tension of Tidy is a great read! In every chapter, I gleaned something insightful and could relate to what Hilary Bernstein was stating. I especially liked chapter 4 on the family. Many of the stories and examples she gave are very applicable to me. I have struggled with how to change “family traditions“ and with “keeping up with the Joneses”. I could relate especially to the story of the mother-in-law coming in and changing cupboards around! I realize I can break free of these traditions, but it is very hard to do, and the scriptures she gave were the encouragement I needed to hear and were very insightful.

You will find when you read this book that she provides great information, examples, and scriptures to overcome a lot of your preconceived notions.

You will want to read this book! It is very easy to read, very helpful, full of great stories, and provides examples on how to grow closer to the Lord and how to let go of your own expectations.

[K Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever read a book that stops you in your tracks, making you pause often to reflect? The Tension of Tidy was that book for me. As I read, there were several moments when I had to stop and ensure I wasn’t glossing over important insights. It reminded me that without God’s hand in our lives, we often wander aimlessly, miss crucial moments, or seek fulfillment in things that will never satisfy.

The transformation moments in the book were especially powerful. It was a timely reminder that life on earth is temporary, and I am running my own race, not someone else’s. The author’s ability to bring these beautiful truths to life made me reflect deeply on my own journey.

What makes this book even more impactful is how relatable the author is. There were several sections I highlighted and simply wrote “RELATABLE” on the page. Hilary has a way of writing that feels like sitting across from a friend, chatting over a cup of coffee.

Overall, The Tension of Tidy inspired me to intentionally bring God into my everyday life—even in the mundane. It’s a book that both challenges and uplifts, and I highly recommend it to anyone looking for something that will leave them feeling encouraged and inspired.

[Stacey crawford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tension of Tidy is the kind of book that encourages you and gives you grace. It’s perfect for all seasons of your life- singlehood through empty nesting . I plan on gifting this book to newlyweds because the chapter on Spouses has so many good questions for engaged couples or newly marrieds to consider.

I’ve been following Hilary for years, and I love how she applies God’s Word to housekeeping. It really changes your perspective, and there are MANY examples of this throughout the book. She also includes several thoughtful Tension Tamers/reflection questions and tips in each chapter. I highly recommend this book!

[Linda M · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are feeling overwhelmed keeping up with the demands of life, this book is definitely for you! Not only will you begin to give yourself grace for not rising to perfection, you will discover you are not alone. There are so many relatable topics covered, you will think she had a view into your own life. The author reminds us how relationships will always trump a tidy home, and more importantly, God will help us with our struggles by providing strength, peace, and hope. This is a wonderful read for all women, young and old, single and married. It will give you a new positive perspective on life.

[Ashley Kerr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hillary does a great job of explaining how we can use God’s word to ease our burdens with every day tasks and take pressure off ourselves. She is very relatable! I love all the extras that go along with it.

[Vera Linsalata · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Tension of Tidy by Hilary Bernstein is a book I didn’t know I needed to read—until I did. Hilary offers practical advice on the issues of homemaking, organization, and hospitality, but The Tension of Tidy is so much more than another book on how to clean and manage clutter. Hilary takes a deep dive into our hearts and what’s going on there—the stress, frustration, weariness, and at times confusion that managing a home creates. She explores the sources that cause these tensions in us and how we can deal with them.
Even as Hilary honestly shares her own struggles with keeping a home, she points us to the Scriptures, particularly the Psalms, where the ancients learned to dwell with the Lord and receive His peace for the different tensions they faced. Like us, the writers of the Psalms also felt discouraged, frustrated, exhausted, or discontent, and Hilary reminds us that they turned to the Lord in worship and found peace and satisfaction. That is where the Tension of Tidy takes us: from striving for perfectly tidy spaces and acquiring things to finding satisfaction from the Lord Jesus Christ alone. In one chapter, Hilary writes of how she had sought satisfaction in the shelter of her home during the COVID-19 pandemic instead of in Christ. I couldn’t help but nod in agreement when I read this and ask myself how many times I’ve done the same thing, pandemic or not.
The Tension of Tidy helps us turn our hearts to our one truly perfect home with the Lord in the future and reminds us that He can help us with our imperfect homes now. I recommend this book to every woman who longs for beauty in her imperfect space.

[Kristy K. · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re a woman who is spinning her wheels trying to manage a household and keep a routine and maintain a clean and comfy home who still feels like she’s falling short despite her best efforts, this book is for you.

The Tension of Tidy isn’t an instruction manual for how to have a perfectly kept home - you won’t find to-do list templates or cleaning schedules within its pages.

Instead, Hilary weaves together scripture, personal anecdotes, wisdom, and encouragement to show that God’s plan for us doesn’t involve the pressure of perfection. While we should be good stewards of the spaces He has blessed us with, our true refuge and shelter is found in Him alone.

As women, it’s easy to think the opposite - I can finally rest once the house is spotless, or I can’t be content until everything looks perfect. But with jobs and families and life circumstances, this spotless perfection isn’t a reality for most of us, which can leave us feeling inadequate and dissatisfied.

Hilary speaks right to every woman’s heart with the truth that God’s grace is sufficient no matter our circumstances or the state of our homes. This encouragement helps us set realistic expectations for our homes while we lean into His love for us. ❤️

As an almost empty-nester with a demanding full-time job, I often feel frustrated that I can’t get to everything on my list of household chores. This book offered me freedom from that frustration - I felt like I could finally exhale and enjoy more of what God has for me.

The truths in this book aren’t age or stage specific though - Hilary shows that God meets us right where we are.

[K.Herod · Rating 5 out of 5]

With a strong cup of coffee and an even stronger desire to free myself from the tangles of tension in my life, I sat down to read Hillary's book.

The title alone draws someone like myself in. Perhaps I was looking for just some practical tips to simply loosen some of the strings which wind me tight. Maybe find someone's voice who resonated with mine. What I didn't expect was for the entire ball of yarn to be crocheted into something beautiful. From the moment I started reading, it was truly as if Hillary shared my secret thoughts, and the comfort through the truths of God to which she very skillfully and compassionately offered, had me crying before I even finished the first chapter. This book has given me a new perspective on the origins of home-life, and a refreshing outlook on the joy God has for us both now and in the future. Though I wish I had these principles to help me early in my life, I am so thankful for their gift now. I hope you are as encouraged as I am after reading Hillary Bernstein's, Tension of Tidy, and you find your true dwelling place.

[Melissa Bazil · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a life where there's always another dish in the sink, another load of laundry waiting to be washed, or another room to be vacuumed, can we as women ever do enough to get ahead and finally rest? If you struggle with feelings of mounting expectations, then this is the book for you. It can be tempting to compare ourselves to others, to feel expectations that aren't even our own weighing us down, or even to just have a rustling discontent rattling around our minds, keeping us from every enjoying the true peace that God promises. Tension of Tidy will guide you through the tricks and traps we often stumble into and find the truth of God's word for how we can see ourselves through His eyes and know that we will always be enough, no matter what the state of our "to do" list. Grace-based freedom is found in these pages, so grab a copy, and let freedom ring in your life :).

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the book I didn’t know I needed! Hilary brought to life everyday, practical tips and helpful ideas for not just the home but for life in general. She beautifully tied in the Psalms for an extra level of depth. I plan on buying copies of her books for the young ladies (both moms and singles) in my life.

[Donnita Mosley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ladies, I know how hard it is to work, cook, clean house, do laundry, etc. The task seem never ending, you barely find a few minutes to your self.

Hilary Bernstein, a wonderful friend, womens ministry leader and author, released her New Book tit


" The Tension of Tidy".
I cannot recommend this book high enough. Hilary intricately combines biblical teachings from Psalms with taking care of your home in way you've never heard. Along the way, she manages to encourage and uplift you no matter what your style of cleaning or schedule looks like. How? With grace and blessings from God. One of my favorite sections was Pockets of Time. I have taken advantage of this topic while at home and in the hospital. I love this beautiful woman like a sister.