Not Yours to Keep

by Zelly Ruskin

Called a “sensational debut” by Rea Frey, this psychological thriller delves into themes of reproductive rights and healthcare, confronting the complexities that define family—or the risks that lose it all.

Billie Campbell, a Massachusetts adoption specialist grappling with fertility issues, dreams of adopting a baby, but not just any baby—her pregnant client’s baby. While her longing threatens to send her down a dark path, her husband, Tyler, is keeping he’s full of doubts about becoming a father, and he’s also trying to figure out who is sending him upsetting anonymous texts and photos. On the other side of town, Anne, a woman scarred by childhood abuse, obsesses with a second chance at becoming a family with the two people she regrets ever having let go the baby she gave up for adoption twenty years ago and the man of her dreams.

Their lives become entangled when the client’s newborn is abducted, and Billie becomes a prime suspect.

Amid the chaos unleashed by the abduction, Tyler uncovers a link between the person tormenting him and the abduction—but now Billie has disappeared too. The race to find both her and the baby is on; but will they find them before it’s too late?

Genres: Thriller, Fiction, Mystery, Book Club, Audiobook

336 pages, Paperback

Published October 8, 2024

About the author

Zelly Ruskin is a former social worker and adoption consultant. She loves traveling with her family, is a (sometimes) artist, and is passionate about and volunteers for brain aneurysm awareness. She writes women’s fiction spiced with suspense about motherhood, relationships, loss and love. Zelly and her ridiculous doodle, Strudel, currently live in New York City.

Reviews

[♡Heather✩Brown♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

✨B O O K • S P A R K S✨

#ad I received a gifted copy of this book - many thanks to @BookSparks + @zellyruskin #partner

Not Yours to Keep / Releases: October 8, 2024

A book of high-emotions that will leave you reeling. A must read with characters you won’t forget.

Billie is an adoption specialist struggling with her own fertility. Desperate to have a child of her own she finds the perfect solution: her client’s baby would be perfect. But it won’t be that easy.

This was a crazy ride of a book. Told from the perspectives of Billie, her husband, Tyler, and Anne, a woman who lives near them. How will their lives intersect - you’ll have to read to find out.

A hard one to put down, fiction and thriller lovers alike will enjoy this one. Expertly written and a story you’ll have a hard time forgetting. Captures the human spirit.


#NotYourstoKeep #FallPopUp #bookstagram #bookaholic #bookphotography #booksofinstagram #booklove #bookshelf #igreads #reader #bookblogger #instabooks #novel #booklovers #bookworm #book #bookstagrammer #reading #read

[crystal niche · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Netgalley for the advance copy!

The book is told from the point of view of Tyler, Billie, and Anne. Billie is having issues getting pregnant and Tyler is wrestling with even wanting children. Anne comes into their lives and basically turns it upside down. The wild ride this story takes you on is a great mix of sadness and happiness. Overall, great story.

[Cydney · Rating 3 out of 5]

First of all: Billie and Tyler are insufferable. Two of the most non-communicating-est, avoidant, non-perceptive people in the world. The world could be on fire around the two of them and they'd still be caught up in whether or not they remembered to unplug the iron before they left for work because it felt like every time something crazy happened they were worried about the least important thing. Billie was very passive and dare I say a doormat. If I had a husband who rarely answered my phone calls and worked constantly and did a full 180 from wanting kids and making me feel like I only ever wanted kids by myself he would be my husband no longer. Instead, Billie is just like "awwww, he's so busy, poor thing." Huh?!

Anne was a complete nut, but she was also someone who was suffering due to untreated mental illness. And I would even venture to say that she was perhaps still experiencing trickle down effects of postpartum depression and PTSD from childhood SA. But Ruskin did not explore these themes in a way I felt was responsible or sympathetic. Instead it's crazy lady, bad, bad lady, scary.

Zelly Ruskin has some pretty disturbing commentary surrounding fat people/fat bodies/fatness. Every single person who is fat in this book (and it's more than a couple) is written about like they are circus freaks who lack self control and are also physically terrifying due to their fatness and big bodied-ness. That narrative got old VERY fast and is so 2004-coded it was shocking this came out in 2024.

SO many parts of this book felt aged simply because the commentary/general feelings have changed. Overall, Ruskin is not a bad author in terms of grammar and syntax; this was a fair debut. However, I don't think I'll be reading more from her because her perspective and opinions in this body of work are not aligned with mine.

3 ⭐️s

Thank you to She Writes Press and NetGalley for providing an ARC!

[Ari Cross · Rating 1 out of 5]

✨Thank you to Booksparks for including me on this Pop Up Review Tour✨

This book was just…not good.

I picked this book because I really connected with the infertility/adoption/women’s health portion of the plot. But it was all very secondary to the main plot, which read like a bad Lifetime movie.

This book has multiple POVs over multiple timelines and the timeline is never clear. The reader just has to guess by context what timeline the book is in. It’s distracting and difficult to follow.

I thought the character development was incredibly weak. We have SOME character development with Anne I guess but it all feels irrelevant anyway.

Not much happens for MOST of this book. When I realized Anne knew Tyler I thought “here we go, this is going to be juicy” but it wasn’t. It was mostly really, very slow and boring.

The ending is so convoluted and the only “twist” was more nonsense than shocking. It was so out of left field I just felt like I didn’t care about it at all.

I’ve always had a “no 1 ⭐️ reviews” policy because I felt like it was just not couture but I’ve read some books lately that I feel fit into that category. This is one of them.

Overall, this one is a no from me. I did not enjoy it and I did not recommend it.

[Suzi (Lil Bit Reads) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This psychological suspense grabbed me from the beginning, somehow both a slow burn but also a fast-paced read that held my attention from start to finish. Darker than most women’s fiction and deeper than your average thriller, Ruskin explores mental health and infertility throughout this complex and compelling story. There are a number of sensitive topics, so please check trigger warnings before reading.

[Bella Lentini · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kept me engaged throughout the whole book! Main characters were a little annoying and not too good at communicating but an insane story overall. Would recommend but it also has a lot of tough topics.

[Siobhan Collins · Rating 2 out of 5]

At first I really really liked it and it had all the elements of a great thriller, but then as it progressed I feel like it lost the plot? Like a lot of the story felt irrelevant, which is a bummer because it started so good.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not Yours to Keep is a gripping thriller. So powerful and filled with emotion for me, it was a difficult read personally at times because of how raw and real the emotions were. Really interesting story that really asks the question of how far someone is willing to go. Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC!

[Isobel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not Yours to Keep by Zelly Ruskin

In this book we follow Billie and Tyler as they navigate busy careers and a devastating struggle with infertility. Things are already not going great for them, so when Tyler starts receiving anonymous, strange text messages and notes it sends both him and his wife into a spiral. Then, when a baby in Billie's care goes missing, she becomes the prime suspect and their whole world begins to unravel.

I liked the psychological aspect of this novel. I thought the way mental health was explored here was interesting and well portrayed. The obvious decline in Anne's mental health is chilling but also very sad; we get to experience her delusions and downfall first-hand through her POV. It begs an important question, could what happened with Anne have been prevented if she had received support earlier? Furthermore, the impact of dealing with infertility and how deeply that can affect someone mentally is also expertly and compassionately explored in this book. Billie's internal struggle and her intense, deep desire to be a mother was heart-wrenching to read but something I imagine many people can relate to. Tyler was an interesting character. I felt for him, but also felt he had very little personality other than reacting to what was going on around him with Anne, his wife and his job, I felt sorry for him regarding the situation in his past; what happened between him and Anne as teens made me very uncomfortable as it felt like she had taken advantage of him, yet this was not directly addressed by the author. Although I did fly through this book, the action was slow throughout and the real inciting event only occurred at the very end.

Overall I rated this book 3 out of 5 stars. Although I found it an enjoyable, fast-paced read, there was nothing particularly outstanding about it, and therefore I did give it an average rating.

[Crystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a pretty good book and I didn't guess who maddisons father was but it took me way to long to get through this book and the only reason I continued was because i was sort of a little curious about the end I did love the 5 months later it made my heart full and as someone who is struggling to have a family I know billies pain far to well

[(Elizabeth) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
Not Yours to Keep was a very fast-paced read. I got easily wrapped up in the story and wanted to know what was going to happen next, and actually felt for the outcome of the characters. There were a few times that I found some connections to be a little suspect/over the top, but overall, I enjoyed reading this novel. Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Trigger Warnings: infertility, mental illness, sexual abuse, adoption

[sora (sorasbookland) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This thriller is a roller coaster of emotions, The short chapters made this book a page turner and a quick read although it is very slow burn and majority of the twists and turns happen around the last half of the book but the suspense was there all along and it made me want to find out the truth as soon as possible. The ending though was shocking and satisfying, I didn’t see it coming.

This is a story about though topics such as grief and loss, infertility and adoption, it also talks about motherhood and its struggles. Billie wants a baby, her husband isn’t so sure and is keeping secrets, the tension is creating problems in their relationship, add to that a woman who comes into their lives and creates more drama than you can imagine… The perfect mix for a very messy story and I absolutely loved that.

𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 :
• psychological thriller
• domestic thriller
• family & friends drama
• jealousy & betrayal

𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 : 4 ★

Thank you Zelly Ruskin, She Writes Press & NetGalley for an e-ARC copy.

#NotYoursToKeep #NetGalley

[emily *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This psychological thriller takes you through tyler, billie and anne's point of view. billie and tyler are married and struggling with infertility. you learn the parallel of following annes story near the end with a huge plot twist. this book was pretty good and highlighted the struggles of infertility.

thank you to the publishers and netgalley for this ARC!

[L Powers (Bookish_Mum) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not Yours to Keep by Zelly Ruskin
Rating: 4/5
Release Date: 8 October 2024

Billie Campbell, an adoption specialist in Massachusetts, yearns to adopt a child while struggling with infertility. Her desire intensifies when she meets a pregnant client, pushing her ethical boundaries. Meanwhile, her husband Tyler harbours doubts about fatherhood and receives disturbing anonymous messages, adding strain to their relationship.

Across town, Anne, haunted by her past, fixates on reuniting with the child she gave up for adoption two decades ago and rekindling a lost romance. Her obsession sets her on a collision course with Billie's world.

The situation explodes when Billie's client's newborn vanishes, casting suspicion on Billie herself. As the investigation unfolds, Tyler discovers a shocking connection between his tormentor and the kidnapping. But before he can act, Billie disappears too.

With time running out, the search for Billie and the infant becomes a frantic race against the clock. Will they be found before it's too late, and what dark secrets will come to light in the process?

"Not Yours to Keep" is a remarkable debut that delves deep into the essence of family, exploring its complexities with compassion and profound insight. Ruskin's narrative skilfully weaves together themes of love, loss, and the intricate bonds that define our closest relationships. Through her captivating prose, readers are drawn into a world where the definition of family is constantly challenged and redefined.

The novel's gripping plot is a testament to Ruskin's storytelling prowess. As the characters navigate through adversity and unexpected turns, readers find themselves fully invested in their journeys. The author's ability to create multi-dimensional characters allows us to empathise with their struggles, hopes, and fears. This emotional connection keeps the pages turning as we root for their triumphs and feel the weight of their setbacks.

At its core, "Not Yours to Keep" is an exploration of hope's resilience in the face of life's most daunting challenges. Ruskin portrays how individuals cling to hope, even when circumstances seem insurmountable. This theme resonates throughout the narrative, offering readers a poignant reminder of the human spirit's strength.

The novel's pacing is masterful, building tension and suspense that propels the story towards its surprising conclusion. Ruskin demonstrates a remarkable talent for balancing edge-of-your-seat suspense with moments of quiet introspection and emotional depth. This equilibrium creates a rich, multifaceted reading experience that satisfies on multiple levels.

"Not Yours to Keep" appeals to a broad audience, offering something for those who appreciate both thrilling narratives and thoughtful explorations of human relationships. The book's ability to seamlessly blend genres – part family drama, part suspense thriller – showcases Ruskin's versatility as a writer.

Engrossing from start to finish, the novel combines elements of mystery, drama, and psychological insight. Ruskin's attention to detail in character development and plot construction results in a story that feels both authentic and compelling. The author's exploration of ethical dilemmas adds depth to the narrative, prompting readers to consider complex moral questions long after they've finished the book.

In conclusion, "Not Yours to Keep" stands out as a compelling and rewarding read. Ruskin's debut marks the arrival of a promising new voice in fiction, one that skilfully balances entertainment with thoughtful commentary on the human condition. This novel is sure to leave a lasting impression on readers, establishing Ruskin as an author to watch in the coming years.

Thank you so much to NetGalley, She Writes Press, and the author, Zelly Ruskin, for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest and fair review.

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not Yours to Keep by @zellyruskin expertly weaves together multiple adoption stories into one suspense-filled novel that slowly goes from what seems like a series of weird coincidences between three adults in their 30s into a very interconnected web of people tied together in ways they would never expect.

This story is told through alternating narrators in 3 points of view, with 2 FMC and 1 MMC. Billie, a social worker who specializes in adoption is struggling to go to work each day and help unite families while she and her husband, Tyler struggle with infertility. Tyler, a successful lawyer who is hoping to make partner, understand's Billie's struggle, but isn't 100% sure he really wants a child of his own, especially when work is so stressful to begin with! Anne's life is unraveling, her mental health is unstable and her ability to follow her normal daily routines, like going to work each day, is quickly declining. She keeps having flashbacks to the year she gave up her daughter for adoption back when she was 13. When she catches a glimpse of her former junior high boyfriend, Tyler, it ignites something in her to resolve some of the unfinished business she left behind so many years ago. Anne quickly begins stalking Tyler, and eventually Billie, and finding ways to worm her way into their lives. With her increasingly limited connection to reality, Anne makes choices that she believes will bring her closer to her childhood dream of life with Tyler, no matter who or what stands in her way.

I was quickly drawn in to the three stories and enjoyed watching the way pieces of the puzzle came together as the novel progressed. It isn't until the final chapters that you really see what an interconnected group of people the supporting characters make up, including a set of young birth parents planning to put their child up for adoption and some of the people from Tyler's past. While there is some hopping between time periods, especially in Anne's point of view, overall the story is quite easy to follow and not overly predictable. The suspense is very low key and not scary, something I am often grateful for! I loved the varying views of adoption as well as the infertility journey, it is clear that the author knows a great deal about these processes and the importance of counselling and therapy when needed.

I would definitely recommend this book if you're interested in adoption and/or a suspense novel that is a good level of interesting without the intensity of murder or fear! It is coming out in October so mark your calendars or pre-order a copy! Thanks to netgalley and the publisher, shewritespress for giving me the chance to read and review this great book!

[Hayley · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I'm not normally a fan of multiple person perspectives in my novels I really enjoyed this one. There was so much going on in this story straight from the beginning that I couldn't put it down. This was a fast paced page turned that will grab your attention quickly. I think my favourite thing about this story was the plot. It left me breathless and dying for answers. While this is a teen drama thriller I was very impressed with the sensitive subject line that this book went with, abduction,adoption, abuse, and mental health issues all play a part in this story however they are broached with much sensitivity that it makes it easy to follow and easy to get lost in as a reader. This book is told through three different points of view but it was necessary to get all of the important information out and thankfully it was very easy to tell when we switched. Main character Billie is desperate to start a family with her husband however is unsuccessful. With her job helping other couples through the adoption process the struggles that she is facing suddenly become to much as they start to spill into he professional life as she starts to dream of adopting her clients' unborn baby and raising it as her own. Things really get intense from there but I don't want to give away to much information. It then switches between Tyler who is trying to start a family with his wife Billie and all of her issues, and then Anne a woman with mental health issues who is searching for a child she was forced to give away years ago. This is an edge of your seat thriller that will draw all of your attention as you find yourself being pulled into the complex story line and characters lives. The plot of this story will is one that will really grab you and leave you on the edge of your seat the whole time. I really enjoyed this book but it was the characters and their depth and three dimensional feel that really pushed this book over the top for me. Great job and I can't wait to see what is next for Zelly Ruskin because for a debut novel she blew it out of the water and I'm not sure how she can go any higher but I can't wait to watch her try and succeed. This is an author that you need to check out. If there is only one down fall I can think of for this book is there are a few subjects that might be triggering for readers however I didn't find them so bad but others might want to be forewarned before reading this one. I'm so glad that I got the chance to check it out. Don't hesitate when this book is released because it is one that you will want to be talking about to everyone you meet

[Ann Goltz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Zelly Ruskin's debut novel 'Not Yours to Keep' is a moving exploration of family, trauma, belonging, and acceptance. Told from three points of view, the reader is granted insight into some of the long-term consequences of childhood trauma as well as the full range of feelings behind the process of adoption.

Billie is a social worker/adoption specialist. She works both with prospective families and with birth mothers, and is sensitive to the feelings of both. She's also struggling with her own fertility issues, as she desperately wants to be a mother herself.

Tyler is a lawyer on the fast track to a partnership. His job is stressful and demands a lot of his time and energy, and he struggles to be fully present with his wife, Billie, as she undergoes fertility treatments. Only it's not just his job that's got him distracted. He's not entirely sure he even wants to be a father, but he can't bring himself to tell that to Billie. Not to mention the strange texts he suddenly began receiving from an unknown number, along with a mysterious photograph of a baby girl.

Anne's life is a mess. Prone to self-destructive habits and stuck in a dead-end job, Anne can't forget the baby she had to give up when she was thirteen. Nor can she forget Tyler, the boy she loved twenty years ago, and who she's convinced is meant to be her happily-ever-after. When she discovers his whereabouts, she becomes obsessed with fulfilling her dream. She knows he wants to be with her, but his pesky wife is preventing him from coming to Anne.

Billie's struggles with infertility, Tyler's ambivalence about fatherhood, and Anne's unresolved childhood abuse are brought into sharp relief by Ruskin's eloquent and honest prose. An emotional read and a compelling thriller, 'Not Yours to Keep' will grip you to the very end.

[Juri (_snarkysharky) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you BookSparks for the gifted review copy of Not Yours to Keep.

STORY 2.5 stars
AUDIO 2.5 stars

Billie is an adoption specialist who’s struggling to conceive, with her options running out—she considers one of her clients' baby as an option. Not Yours to Keep is an unsettling journey into the dark complexities of family, abuse, longing, and ethical dilemmas.

This book is quite unhinged. There’s a relentless sense of misfortune that seems to shadow the main characters, that I truly felt sorry for all of them. The author’s background as a social worker adds a layer of authenticity and depth, offering valuable insights into the adoption process for both foster and birth parents, and the emotional turmoil surrounding fertility and abuse.

I'd classify this as a slow-burn suspense novel, as it took time—perhaps too much time—for the tension to build. Because of this, I can't say I recommend the book. It evoked a mild sense of unease, similar to what I experienced while reading None of This Is True by Lisa Jewell, but it lacked the impact I was hoping for.

Not much happens for about 60% of the book, and the concerns of Tyler, Billie’s husband, felt largely inconsequential. It seemed like everything could have been resolved more easily if he had simply learned to communicate better.

To me, this book had a lot of potential; it could have gone fully unhinged. However, despite the prolonged build-up, there were no dramatic twists. I would have preferred a progressively deranged transformation, but instead, the pivotal characters seemed to snap suddenly, going from 0 to crazy without much warning. The ending felt clichéd and too convenient.

It was a quick read, but I can’t say I’m a big fan. There’s a lot of potential here, but it needs more work.

[Victoria · Rating 2 out of 5]

Frustrated wit the character connections and how long this book felt like it was. It kept going on and on about nothing. Billie wanted a kid and had issues getting pregnant, Tyler seemed to be in for the ride not really carrying but thinking it might help his career as a big shot lawyer become partner. Billie struggles with not being able to have children as is met with pregnant women-children daily with her job working in an adoption agency. She even has thoughts of taking one of the children thinking she would make a better parent then the adopting parents but she doesn't go through the proper channels of being put on the list, and does not kidnap a child.

Then you bounce to Anna who is a mess of everything, she has some psychological problems that stem from childhood and her teenage pregnancy. Of her many issues one is coping with the thought that her daughter is in the world somewhere, she looks often for her daughters unique birthmark on children even and girls as the child now should be in her 20s. As she has a breakdown she looks up her baby daddy from childhood who happens to be Tyler. She thinks now 20 years later she can make it work with him and she tries.

The aspect of stalking does come up for Tyler and Billie but its not as hard as i would have liked to see, its mentioned here and there. For Tyler is notes and calls for Billie its some random person watching her.

Turns out its Anna trying to become Billie to get to a child to recreate the perfect family for Tyler. It was just too drawn out to get there and then twist and full circle of adoption was predictable and then the author continued to add end twist that left no point adding more drama to the characters to jsut give them a happy ending. It was frustrating.

[Nancie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Strength, courage, heart.

These are the words Billie lives by and when the adoption specialist is faced with fertility problems, she needs all three. She’s desperate for a child of her own, even as she helps couples, and unready mothers navigate the adoption system. She’s a social worker who genuinely cares for her clients yet works hard to maintain professional distance. But as her fertility challenges increase, the line between what she needs to do and what she wants starts to blur.

Meanwhile, Billie’s husband, Tyler, is dealing with increasing anxiety over parenthood. He isn’t sure he wants to be a father, but he wants nothing more than to make his wife happy.

Anne is a woman struggling with her mental health. She’s endured horrific abuse and bore a child too young. The baby was put up for adoption. Anne has been looking for her child ever since. She’s struggling through substance abuse and mental health decline as her obsession over her lost child consumes her.

These three POVs are interconnected in astounding ways, coming together for a stunning and satisfying conclusion.

Ruskin has deftly created three complex characters who draw you in. They are nuanced and realistic. Her descriptions are vivid, setting the reader firmly into time, place, and character. The unfolding plot kept the pages turning.

I devoured this book because I had to know what happened, then felt sad it was over. Overall, this was a great read. If you like heartbreakingly real characters, a satisfying emotional journey, and suspense, run and get your copy.

I can’t wait to read her next!

I received an ARC copy for review.

[Patti · Rating 3 out of 5]

As an adoptee as well as being involved in adoption communities on the internet for over 30 years, the premise of this book was intriguing to me. What happens when an adoption counselor finds herself suffering through her own infertility issues? There’s much more to this story than that, and much of it is good. There’s also a degree of ignorance on the part of how being adopted can effect the people in the triad (birthparents-adoptee-adoptive parents). It came as no surprise to learn the author, Zelly Ruskin, is a former social worker and adoption consultant. She’s been involved in adoption as an observer, not as a participant.

Billie Campbell is the adoption consultant in this story, set in Boston. She and her husband, Tyler, have been trying to start a family with no success. When Madison, a pregnant college student, and her boyfriend visit the agency Billie works for with the intention of placing their baby for adoption, Billie starts thinking about the possibility of adopting Madison’s baby herself, despite all of the ethical issues this would raise.

Tyler is a successful lawyer, and he is about to become a partner at his law firm. Between the infertility issues and the anonymous messages he has begun receiving, he’s a bit distracted from his work. He’s also having doubts about whether he really does want to be a father.

Anne is a troubled woman who lives on the edge of poverty. Her father abused her, and when she was fourteen, she surrendered a child to adoption. There was no counseling following these events and she’s been forced to try to make her way in life pretty much on her own. She’s had a hard time keeping a job and is distanced from her mother who now lives in Arizona. When she gets a glimpse on television of the man she believes fathered the child she surrendered, her mental state deteriorates, and she begins stalking him.

To read my full review, please go to Not Yours to Keep By Zelly Ruskin – Unpacking the Complexities of Adoption

[Teresa Brock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not Yours To Keep
Zelly Ruskin
Publication Date: 10/08/2024

Motherhood, adoption, fertility issues, unplanned pregnancy, domestic abuse and sexual assault of a minor are tough subjects. They bring unwanted emotions and tears. These topics can be filled with love and fear. Zelly Ruskin has used her experience as a social worker to delicately weave these topics together in an amazing slow burn thriller that should not be missed.
Not Yours to Keep is told in alternating POV’s. We have Billie Campbell, an adoption specialist. Her heart is in her job, but she and her husband, Tyler are experiencing some tough infertility issues and loss of pregnancies as they make their way through their day to day lives. Tyler Campbell, Billie’s husband, is a very hard-working attorney who is trying to make junior partner. Tyler has his doubts about becoming a father and starting a family because of Billie’s health issues (and a few other reasons – no spoilers). Then, we have Anne. Anne has a connection to Tyler that builds as each chapter unfolds. Tyler is keeping secrets and Anne is becoming more and more of a loose cannon as the story progresses.
Secrets, a missing baby and the ache to love a child will have you turning pages nonstop to see how this debut novel finishes. Love, fear, happiness and anger all play a part in this wonderful intricately told story.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you @BookSparks & @zellyruskin for my complimentary copy. My thoughts are my own.

This book, while touted as a psychological thriller, is so much more. It really belongs in the women’s fiction genre. Be sure to read the trigger warnings provided by the author as T his story explores themes of reproductive rights, healthcare, and teen pregnancy.

BILLIE is an adoption specialist who loves placing babies in good homes, while she herself struggles with fertility and yearns for a baby. She sets her heart on the child of her pregnant client.

Meanwhile, her attorney husband TYLER has secrets of his own. He keeps receiving anonymous texts, and even a photo of an unknown baby, as he grapples with doubts about fatherhood.

ANNE is haunted by a past trauma. She longs for the baby she gave up for adoption two decades ago and the man she lost. She plans to reclaim her family.

Their fates intertwine when newborn daughter of one of Billie’s clients is kidnapped, and Billie becomes the primary suspect.

MY THOUGHTS:
This intriguing story will tug at your heartstrings. With complex characters and a plot that alters between the past and the present, I found myself loving all of the characters and sympathizing with each one. I wanted each character to have their happy ending. I highly recommend this for lovers of family drama.

[Taylor Yeaton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall a solid read, but nothing overly special here.

The book explores mental health in a thoughtful way, particularly through Anne’s character. Her gradual decline is both unsettling and sad, and experiencing her shifting reality through her point of view gives the story a haunting quality.

Tyler, on the other hand, didn’t stand out as much. His personality felt underdeveloped, and he seemed to mostly react to the events around him. Despite this, the multi-POV structure worked well. It’s rare for me to enjoy all perspectives equally, but in this book, I found myself equally invested in each of the three viewpoints.

One area that could be improved is the some of the clarity in the writing, particularly the scene transitions, which were sometimes unclear. This might have been due to formatting issues that could hopefully be addressed before publication.

At the end, I found it a little too “wrapped up in a bow” while also having some questions unanswered.

Overall, Not Yours to Keep offers an engaging psychological drama with well-explored themes and intriguing character dynamics.

I would like to thank NetGalley, She Writes Press, and the author for an ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Tee M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This compelling debut novel kept me turning pages into the wee hours. The characters were well- developed and relatable, and the story pacing was just right. The story was full of tension and suspense, and although parts of the story were easy to predict, the thrill was seeing how the events came to pass and how the various storylines culminated into a tension-filled, emotional ending.

The story is told from three alternating points of view: Billie, an adoption specialist who is struggling with infertility, Billie's husband Tyler, an attorney working overtime to become a partner in his firm, and Anne, a person from Tyler's past. Ruskin's description of the character's experiences were absolutely visceral. I found myself in tears and feeling sorry for each of the main characters, even with their 'faults.' The author skillfully deals with the trials and tribulations of infertility, adoption, family dynamics, mental illness, and more.

This was a masterful debut and I am excited to read other books by this author. Thank you to the author, NetGalley and She Writes Press for the advanced reader's copy.

[Suraj Patil · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read the ARCon netgalley. Thank you She Writes Press for an advanced copy in exchange for a honest review!

Pros: good character development except Billie.

Cons: writing is a bit confusing at times or maybe it's because the formatting is messed up as the publisher shared a pdf and not a epub.
Editing could have been sharper as it was a struggle to finish the book

The start is a bit slow, nothing much happens. Then the main characters are introduced. Tyler and Billie are a couple, Tyler is a lawyer in track to being a Partner while Billie works at an adoption agency. Then there is Anne who is obsessed with Tyler. Characters of both Tyler and Anne are fleshed out but Billie is there as a plot device, she is childish and needy when the scene needs to be but strict and suddenly strong woman when the plot needs it. Or so it feels. There is not much character development given to her. Billie is just way too docile. Seems like she is just all okay with everything every time. She never gets annoyed when Tyler puts his work over their personal life? Really?

Anne is shown to be a stalker initially and then suddenly she is shown as unhinged.

Editing could have been sharper

[Janis Daly · Rating 4 out of 5]

In "Not Yours to Keep", debut author Zelly Ruskin tackles timely issues surrounding what it means to build a family. Through the lens of infertility and the often difficult paths of IVF and adoption, Ruskin invites readers to reflect on how these modern issues redefine our closest relationships.
As the intertwined characters navigate adversity and unexpected twists, their struggles with and the limitations of parenthood create an emotional depth that draws readers in. Though their journeys are compelling, some of the character development may feel familiar. However, the themes of hope and resilience remain central and relatable.

The pacing of the novel effectively builds tension keeping the storyline moving forward and pages turning right to the end with several big reveals. "Not Yours to Keep" speaks to a wide audience, particularly those interested in contemporary family dynamics. Ruskin's thoughtful integration of topics like IVF and adoption adds a layer of modernity and complexity to the traditional family drama, making her debut a notable exploration of the personal and societal issues many face today.

[Ash · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was a good suspenseful book and rated it 4 stars because although some parts were predictable, how the author laid it all out overall was still a good read. I really enjoyed having three different POVs in this book. Seeing it through the eyes of Anne, Billie, & Tyler kept it all at a very nice pace in this story throughout. Seeing how they all had trauma from their past and how it came forward as adults which made all three of their paths cross eventually. Billie is struggling with infertility issues in her personal life, while her career is working with birth mothers that give up their babies for adoption while she wants to be a mother herself. Her husband Tyler is trying to make partner at his firm but is getting sidetracked now that a blast from his past has come out the woodworks and he’s not entirely sure he wants to even be a father anymore. Anne had a terrible childhood because of her father who constantly haunts her thoughts & has a secret she’s been carrying around for years. I loved how the ending was realistic and not super corny and I think the author did a great job with wrapping it all up. Grateful for this complimentary copy for my honest review.

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook
I absolutely recommend doing it that way. I don't think you will be able to fully immerse yourself and enjoy the story for what it is if you just try to read it.
To be able to hear the frustration and desperation of the characters truly made a difference.
This is a book that will have you trying to better understand what women go through when it comes to pregnancy, child bearing, infertility and the desire to build and keep a family.
As a women who struggles with infertility myself, I could connect with so many moments of this book and so many of the characters.
The "twist" at the end was a little lax but overall it didn't take away from the rest of the book.
If you are having trouble conceiving, going through IVF, or adoption I would walk into this gently. It might be a little bit of an emotional trigger but you also may come out of it with a better perspective.

"unrelated to the book"
To those that are trying to build a family of their own, and having troubles doing so.
Keep your chin up. Fight the good fight. Your determination will teach you and those around you a great deal about life, love and the struggle that is family. Everyone is willing to fight for their family, some just do it in different ways.
You and your spouse (I don't care about the specifics of your situation) are taking blows and throwing some of your own to create and keep something that is the purest form of love. And one day, I hope and pray, you will be blessed to have your finger wrapped in a tiny hand that is your baby or have the warmth of the hand of your adopted child in yours.
Keep going, keep fighting, above all listen to your body and to your person. You're going through it all together, not a separates but as a unit. Don't let anyone or anything break that unit.

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was absorbed in this book from the first page!
Tyler and Billie have it all, well almost all.
Billie so wants a baby and will go down almost any path to have her wish come true. She is a social worker at an adoption facility and feels for the mothers who give up their babies. Her agency helps with the placement of infants and Billie does it well.
Tyler is a wonderful husband, yet is not quite as ready for a child. He is trying to move up in his job and knows that babies are expensive.
Can they make it work?
What do they need to do as a couple to make Billie's dream become a reality?

The suspense as time goes forward is great and I was definitely quite shocked at the ending and it was not what I was prepared for.
This is a quick read as you will want to see how it all plays out and what else is causing the drama,
I know I was in a hurry to get to the end!

Thank you to @NetGalley and to @She Writes Press for this ARC and allowing me to read and provide my own review.
It's good!