Bright Eyes: Surviving Our Monsters and Learning to Live Without Them—A Memoir

by Bridey Thelen-Heidel

Fans of Jennette McCurdy’s I’m Glad My Mom Died will root for Bridey Thelen-Heidel as she struggles to unshackle herself from her mother’s chaos in this triumphant debut memoir.

Bridey is tethered to her mom’s addiction to dangerous men who park their Harley-Davidsons in the house and kick holes in all their doors. Raised to be her mother’s keeper, rescuer, and punching bag, Bridey gets used to stuffing her life into black trash bags, hauling them between Alaska and California, and changing schools every time her mom moves in a new monster—or runs away from one. Desperately seeking the normal life she’s observed in sitcoms and her friends’ families, Bridey earns her way into a fancy, private college, where she tries to forget who she is—until her mom calls with a threat that drops Bridey to her knees. Watching doctors and police interrogate her mother at the hospital, Bridey realizes her mom has become a monster herself . . . and she doesn’t want to be saved. But Bridey does.

Bright Eyes is about the indomitable spirit of a young girl forced to be brave, required to be resilient, and conditioned to be optimistic, and how she ultimately uses the same traits that helped her to survive her mother’s chaos to create her own happily-ever-after.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Mental Health, Coming Of Age, Addiction, Book Club

296 pages, Paperback

Published September 24, 2024

About the author

Bridey Thelen-Heidel is an author, teacher, and TEDx speaker. Her memoir, Bright Eyes, won a 2024 Zibby Award “Best Story of Overcoming," a NYC Big Book Award, and a San Francisco Book Festival award. Bridey's youth advocacy has been celebrated by the California Teachers' Association, and she is often invited to speak about the resilience, optimism, and bravery we develop to not only defeat our real-life monsters but to learn how to live without them.

Reviews

[Mary M]

Ever have a friend you knew was just naturally smart, successful, compassionate, and admired? And then you find out their story... and your jaw drops. No matter what you do or have done, your situation and your experience will pale in comparison to 'Bright Eyes'. Her story will make you cry, laugh, and most of all appreciate her resilience, bravery, and optimism. Impossible to put down, the happy ending will blow your mind. This book will change lives with her inspiration. It has mine.

I can't wait to read your next book!

[Jenifer Jacobs]

What a stark description of life as a child with an unstable, manipulative parent. You really feel for Bridey and are rooting for her to escape. She tried so hard and gave her all to her younger sisters. I really wanted more - to hear how she made a loving and stable life for her own daughter (because she clearly did), and how she grew into the teacher that she is. Maybe her next book?!?

[chloereadsallday]

This is the type of memoir I love and obsess over. Bright Eyes by Bride Thelen Heidel is advertised to be great for fans of 'I'm Glad My Mom Died'. I couldn't agree more. It brings a very daunting true story. But it does more than shock you. It places you in the shoes of a child of an alcoholic and you start to understand the "why". Why someone would stay in a family with violence. Why a child would love an addicted parent who chooses others over them. Why some struggle more than others. Absolutely breathtaking honesty. I am so grateful.

[Julie Waltrip Cleghorn]

Another heartbreaker. Heartbreaking because I could easily see myself in her life. Heartbreaking she had to endure so much. Heartbreaking there are so many like her that we don’t see.

Also love much of the story taking place in Lake Tahoe and Nevada towns.

[Jessica Mansell]

This memoir was so raw and incredibly real. Trauma is never easy to expose, so I commend Bridey on telling her story. I am honored to have been personally taught by this beautiful author. Bridey was my highschool English teacher during my junior and senior year at STHS. She impacted my life in so many positive ways and I was not the only student that she encouraged with her positivity. She is a WONDERFUL example of someone who had a shit upbringing and never let it tear her down. She is absolutely a “bright eyed”person and her kindness has whole heartedly been recognized by anyone that she crosses paths with! It’s a great read and I highly recommend this memoir. 🤍

[Patti Eddington]

I love memoir but am not often drawn to those about overcoming trauma; having overcome a bit myself I tend toward lighter stories. But I loved "I'm Glad My Mom Died," and heard this likened to that so I took a chance. I'm so glad. It was the kind of book I longed for when I had to put it down to do boring old life stuff. Writing about such difficult topics is hard enough. Being able to infuse this kind of difficult story with a bit of humor and, most importantly perhaps, some understanding of the reasons people act the way they act is incredible. "Bright Eyes" is much like a "Liar's Club," "Glass Castle," or "Tender Bar." Truly, it is THAT good.

[Kathi Jensen]

It’s a WOW! Bridey is an exceptional example of a resilient young girl who breaks the cycle of abuse, poverty and dysfunction and gets a fairytale ending. I like fairytale endings. Our world needs more positivity and hope. BRIGHT EYES does not disappoint.

[Cameryn Brock]

Bridey’s story is incredible. She faced impossible challenges and overwhelming responsibilities that no child - or even adult - should ever be faced with. Her past followed her into adulthood, yet she made the choice to own her story. It must have been incredibly difficult to shift her life’s trajectory the way she did, and her ability to do so shows so much strength.

Now, as a teacher and leader in her community, she spends her life motivating young people to own their stories too. Her message is made more powerful by her bravery to tell her own, and I’m so thankful she shared. Her ability to weave an entire childhood into a book allows the reader to see their own lives from a different viewpoint, and I think anyone with a troubled past may find this helpful.

I highly recommend this book. I particularly enjoyed the audiobook, read by the author.

[Julia Russell]

I read this book in 2 days! I couldn't put it down. I was so intrigued by the young, innocent, and naive girl who spoke of the heartwarming and heartbreaking events of her life. Her story is written in vignettes and is an authentic and brave memoir of a childhood that was too short. Even though the content is of a girl who had to grow up too fast and cope with tough life experiences, the author told the tale with grace. She made it easy to read and not overwhelming or all-consuming.

In my profession, I work with youth who have similar stories and this book helped me identify with and have compassion for the challenges they face and the ways they might act out.

Bridey Thelen Heidel is a talented and gifted writer who was able to share her turbulent upbringing in a kind and hopeful way.

[Kayla]

I laughed, I cried, and I could not put Bright Eyes down; I bought it on Saturday afternoon and finished it by Sunday. This book is heartbreaking, beautiful and hopeful. This book pulled me out of my own reading (and writing) slump.

Bridey does an amazing job of providing detail, dialogue, and diving into her younger self's voice to make her story come across real, authentic, and relatable. It takes a lot of courage to tell a story like this and Bridey does it perfectly.

[Doug Smith]

Wow, excellent book. Would’ve finished it in one day had I started reading it earlier in the day. On the same level as Demon Copperhead, but much better and it is non-fiction, while Demon Copperhead is fiction. Also amazing that I’ve known Bridey for more than a decade and never knew what a rocky childhood she had because she is such a stellar role model for all in this little South Lake Tahoe community

[Susan Norman]

This is a well written and fast paced read, and interspersed with enough humor to make this an easy read about a very hard topic. I recommend to anybody really, but especially to those who know what its like to manage a relationship with a toxic family member. I loved the message in this book about how important is to value yourself first, above family, in order to be able to interact with family in the most healthy way.

[Heather Sattazahn]

It was sooo good. I read it in 3 days (would have been 1 but I have kids and work)! I just couldn’t put it down.

[Cheryl Fliss]

Sooo many emotions reading this! Such a heartbreaking but truly inspiring read.
There is such a thing as a happy ending!

[Quinn Ellingsen]

Gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, and utterly inspiring.

[Michelle Winberg]

This was a really good memoir. Didn’t want to put it down!

[Haley Ingersoll]

What a heartbreaking and emotional memoir of a girl forced to become a woman far too young. I love the way Bridey tells her truth. It is a captivating story of a parentified young girl with an abusive mother, who wants to leave but is continuously pulled back in by manipulation and the love for her siblings (she’s more of a mom to them than their real mother is). It pulled at my heartstrings and brought back memories of my own. I’m very proud of the author for making it out alive and making her dreams come true. She is a shining example of what you can be and achieve, even if you grew up the victim of abuse and neglect. I’m thankful that she decided to share her complicated story, to help those who can’t.

[Rossana D'Antonio]

Bright Eyes by Bridey Thelen-Heidel is a deeply moving memoir that lays bare the cost of growing up tethered to a mother’s chaos. Thelen‑Heidel takes us back in time as she recounts a childhood of constant moves, dangerous men, and the impossible task of being her mother’s protector. Her storytelling is gripping, raw, and deeply human. What’s so compelling is that what could have been a story of destruction becomes one of resilience, self‑liberation, and self-love. I found myself rooting for her the entire time and hoping she’d make it to the other side. A must‑read for memoir lovers. Bravo!

[Dawn (noladawnreads)]

I do not rate memoirs.

BRIGHT EYES
Bridey Thelen-Heidel @brighteyesauthor
Out now!

Thank you #Partners @booksforwardpr @shewritespress and the author for the #gifted copy.

If you’ve been around a while, you know how much I love memoir. Bridey’s story is one I am grateful to have read and happy to add to my collection. I do not rate memoir but I wholeheartedly recommend this one.
(If you’ve have triggers, please check before reading. This is difficult material, but I believe it should be read.)

Bridey’s life was not an easy one. She was raised in an abusive household with rampant drug use and the adults in the home were often manipulative and domineering. However, Bridey was able to share her story in a way that gives hope and inspiration. The wording and pov are strong and at times I felt I was in the room with her. And don’t be mistaken, there is a very happy ending to this story.

Like many, Bridey found hope in music, particularly Duran Duran. (Mine was Depeche Mode.) Music is a great outlet and I loved how this was interspersed through her story.

As someone who was raised in a trauma filled home, not unlike Bridey’s, I am thankful this landing in my hands. It was difficult at times because it brought back memories but it needs to be shared. Children raised in these environments often create environments like them. To know better is to do better. As a former teacher I taught many kids like this and my knowledge often made me able to connect with my students. This is likely why Bridey, a teacher herself, has been named teacher of the year multiple times. I hope you’ll read this and if this wasn’t your life, at least you’ll have empathy for those whose lives are impacted.

[Vanessa]

I won this book with Goodreads giveaways. (A.Vanessa B) also @therearenobadbooks

"If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take..."

I loved it. Read it in one sitting. It's hard to give stars to someone's life, so mine reflects the writing style, choices, and how easy it was to read. The s ones are short, and there are lots of relatable episodes. The author says all she needs without graphic descriptions or victimizing herself. It's honest and direct, and she knows when to stop a sentence or a description. Still, it's all there with honesty. And I love that it is a journey towards a positive and motivating (uplifting) outcome.
It's admirable that even at a very young age, the author had a quick logical response before moments of shock and violence, doing a very clever rational thinking process before acting.
I am glad I got to read this one.

"I'll show you where I keep the gun in case you ever need it. (...)
Walking back to the house, shaking my head and laughing a little, I can't believe how stupid that was. Danny really thinks I'm more afraid of strangers than the people we know - the ones who've actually hurt me? Such an idiot."

"Tell yourself what you want about this, but I remember everything you don't because I was sober."

"Because leaving is hard.
Staying is hard.
Not knowing what to do is hard."

[Casey Cockrum]

I love this so much! One of the best memoirs I’ve read. Hard to hear about the abuse and neglect. But so well done!

Side note: If you are younger than 50 and don’t know much about Duran Duran, think of NSYNC or even Swifties to get the feel of Bridie’s love of this band.

TW: alcoholism, physical, sexual and emotional abuse.

[Lindagail Roy]

I thought Ms. Thelen-Heidel did a great job at taking us into a child's experience of domestic violence and the baggage one carries into young adulthood. As I was reading the scene with Dan's Bike & the moving truck, there was a voice in my head yelling "Noooo! Don't do it!" And she did it anyway. :o) But upon reflection, when you're a young adult in the process of detaching your life from the violence and chaos, you will often choose loyalty, even when the decision is wrong.

There were parts of this book that were very touching. Bridey's relationship with her sister is a perfect example of how we try to protect and save others in the clutches of abuse and chaos, despite having little power over the situation. There's several examples of how one person, especially teachers, can make a huge difference in a child's life. We are the roadmap for those we must leave behind. By speaking her truth, Bridey is a guide for her siblings.

I think abusive mothers are more common than society is willing to acknowledge. While I believe everyone is capable of change and growth, some people never cross that threshold. It is sad fact of life. I am so glad Bridey found happiness.

[Alex Steven]

Heartbreaking to hear the trauma this author went through, but incredibly inspiring on how she made her dreams come true.

[Michelle]

Wow. Triggers abound in this tough read of growing up amid abuse, poverty, drugs, and general instability on steroids. The writing is great at capturing the intensity, heartbreak and terror of those moments made all the more poignant and specific through transporting details of being a kid coming of age in the 70s-80s (the apple head reference was my favorite as was the Wet&Wild 528 lipstick). I am floored by the vulnerability here.

Potentially biased because I've met Bridey (who is just as sunny and sharp as her memoir portrays) through mutual friends.

[Jenn Wilson]

Bright Eyes is a beautifully told memoir by Bridey Thelen-Heidel. She grows up in chaos and volatility recounting endless pain at the hands of the woman who should have loved her the most. Forced to grow up far too young, Bridey’s story is filled with triumph despite harrowing adversity.

I read this book in two evenings, barely able to put it down. The pace is perfect and her voice is clear. The prose is casual yet paints such clear imagery. I found myself dropping my jaw and crying over Duran Duran.

High recommend.

[Bobbie]

An incredible memoir, beautifully written! You will hold your heart in your throat as you read this- a tale of a child forced to grow up too soon and raise her alcoholic mother and sisters, products of a series of abusive deadbeat fathers. Bridey's saving grace is her innate kindness and positive spirit that thankfully put good people in her path, too, helping her help herself out of the life her mother tried to chain her to!

[stylelover]

This is a powerful story about survival despite dysfunctional family chaos. I highly recommend it! The ending was fun for me as it not only shows us the resiliency of a woman who grew up through domestic violence but also the connection with Duran Duran, a band whose music helped me get through my traumatic childhood.

[Jackie Smith]

Poignant, heartbreaking, honest and raw! This book of a harrowing reckless childhood allows readers to see what trauma looks like in a dysfunctional home. If you suffered your own trauma then it hits home very hard! This author is so open and honest! You’re rooting for her from the first page!

[Kim Heller]

Heartbreaking and inspiring. This was a Goodreads giveaway. The author inscribed and signed the book, and included a bookmark and two vintage postcards.
I truly enjoyed this book, to the point I couldn't put it down.
She also has great taste in music!

[Kayla Streiff]

TW

My book club choice that I’m glad I made! A captivating memoir that definitely showed me the realities of other people’s worlds and experiences. A great lesson to empathy and perspectives different than your own