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Always Bring Your Sunglasses: And Other Stories from a Life of Sensory and Social Invalidation
What does growing up with autism truly feel like, and how can a parent best support their autistic child?
Always Bring Your Sunglasses is a poignant, insightful guide written by Becca Lory Hector, aimed at providing neurotypical parents with a deeper understanding of the autistic experience.
This book is a treasure trove for parents, especially for those seeking to comprehend and cater to their child’s unique needs. Becca Lory Hector shares her personal journey with autism, offering an intimate glimpse into the sensory sensitivities, social intricacies, and the often-misunderstood aspects of living in an autistic body. Through her experiences, Becca illuminates the challenges and triumphs of growing up autistic, providing practical advice and compassionate guidance to parents.
Always Bring Your Sunglasses is more than a memoir; it is a roadmap for parents who are dedicated to understanding and supporting their autistic children. It addresses the critical question of how to ensure that an autistic child not only copes but also thrives in a world that's not always accommodating to their needs. The book empowers parents to be the best advocates for their children, ensuring they have every opportunity for a happy, successful life. It's a must-read for any parent who wonders what it's like to grow up with autism and is committed to giving their child the brightest future possible.
Always Bring Your Sunglasses is a poignant, insightful guide written by Becca Lory Hector, aimed at providing neurotypical parents with a deeper understanding of the autistic experience.
This book is a treasure trove for parents, especially for those seeking to comprehend and cater to their child’s unique needs. Becca Lory Hector shares her personal journey with autism, offering an intimate glimpse into the sensory sensitivities, social intricacies, and the often-misunderstood aspects of living in an autistic body. Through her experiences, Becca illuminates the challenges and triumphs of growing up autistic, providing practical advice and compassionate guidance to parents.
Always Bring Your Sunglasses is more than a memoir; it is a roadmap for parents who are dedicated to understanding and supporting their autistic children. It addresses the critical question of how to ensure that an autistic child not only copes but also thrives in a world that's not always accommodating to their needs. The book empowers parents to be the best advocates for their children, ensuring they have every opportunity for a happy, successful life. It's a must-read for any parent who wonders what it's like to grow up with autism and is committed to giving their child the brightest future possible.
104 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 14, 2024
26 people are currently reading
96 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
April 20, 2024
This book is for anyone who needs to genuinely understand what it’s truly like to be autistic. Written by an autistic advocate and researcher, Becca’s book is an emotionally honest, straightforward narrative about how hard it is to fit in, the toll that masking takes, and most importantly -- finding that her late-in-life autism diagnosis could set her free to define her own way to live successfully --on her own terms. Compellingly written and sprinkled with humorous anecdotes, this book provides truisms for autistic adults looking for validation, parents seeking to understand their autistic children, and care providers and educators looking for better ways to deliver services to autistic individuals.
December 16, 2024
The book was good - I have a child with Asperger, and I have it a bit myself too. And I was glad to hear so many things that I have done correctly - and got a few notes where I can be better at.
Some random notes:
* Don’t praise them where they are good at - because they might link this talent to their identity and when they do “only” 90% score, they might feel they lost themselves. It’s okay to score at 60% in life. Don’t let hem link their value with the test values.
* They might be super talented on some things, but ALWAYS presume they are super not-talented in some other things because of this balance. Don’t be hard on them if they can not do some simple tasks.
* Let your Asperger kid be obsessed about some things - weather its reading or a game etc - it’s their way of being “at home”, “at ease”, recharging. Never complain that they do those things too compulsively. Let them.
* Change is bad, so always take small steps when the kid needs to transition in life. So t hat only 5% is new and 95% is the same, with the new gradually rising each month. Let him know about all changes way in advance and do ask to take small steps, so they get used to it.
* Kid with Asperger might be super talented, but they don’t understand the world by themselves, they need guidance to START with simple things, e.g. cooking etc. They might see you doing it 1000 times, but they kind of have their brains switched off and don’t know how to do those things themselves. So ask them to take first steps on A LOT of things, they take it from there.
* Let them have their food preferences AND how the food should be on the plate etc. Never force them on this topic, food might brings disgust in them if it’s “not the correct way”.
* When he is protesting authority and asks WHY and argues against orders and is impolite - HE IS NOT ACTUALLY. They just need to understand the world and they are not able to ask politely and empathically. If You explain everything, they gladly do the orders. They have their ways of coping, it’s not rebellion.
* Let them wear the clothes and material they like, because when You dress them up, they lose energy with each minute. With their own clothes, they don’t drain energy. Oh, and this is where most problems come with Asperger kids - they must preserve their energy. Or a burnout is coming. It's so about managing energy loads.
* They DO NOT look into eyes while talking, it’s torture, just like all animals see it as a threat. But people presume they should look in their eyes if they like those people.
* Since it’s hard for them to get into a social group, they are willing to act A LOT differently (smoke drink) to be liked by that group.
Some random notes:
* Don’t praise them where they are good at - because they might link this talent to their identity and when they do “only” 90% score, they might feel they lost themselves. It’s okay to score at 60% in life. Don’t let hem link their value with the test values.
* They might be super talented on some things, but ALWAYS presume they are super not-talented in some other things because of this balance. Don’t be hard on them if they can not do some simple tasks.
* Let your Asperger kid be obsessed about some things - weather its reading or a game etc - it’s their way of being “at home”, “at ease”, recharging. Never complain that they do those things too compulsively. Let them.
* Change is bad, so always take small steps when the kid needs to transition in life. So t hat only 5% is new and 95% is the same, with the new gradually rising each month. Let him know about all changes way in advance and do ask to take small steps, so they get used to it.
* Kid with Asperger might be super talented, but they don’t understand the world by themselves, they need guidance to START with simple things, e.g. cooking etc. They might see you doing it 1000 times, but they kind of have their brains switched off and don’t know how to do those things themselves. So ask them to take first steps on A LOT of things, they take it from there.
* Let them have their food preferences AND how the food should be on the plate etc. Never force them on this topic, food might brings disgust in them if it’s “not the correct way”.
* When he is protesting authority and asks WHY and argues against orders and is impolite - HE IS NOT ACTUALLY. They just need to understand the world and they are not able to ask politely and empathically. If You explain everything, they gladly do the orders. They have their ways of coping, it’s not rebellion.
* Let them wear the clothes and material they like, because when You dress them up, they lose energy with each minute. With their own clothes, they don’t drain energy. Oh, and this is where most problems come with Asperger kids - they must preserve their energy. Or a burnout is coming. It's so about managing energy loads.
* They DO NOT look into eyes while talking, it’s torture, just like all animals see it as a threat. But people presume they should look in their eyes if they like those people.
* Since it’s hard for them to get into a social group, they are willing to act A LOT differently (smoke drink) to be liked by that group.
January 8, 2025
I really appreciate the perspective Becca Lory Hector shares on growing up undiagnosed, as an individual working their way through a potential diagnosis a lot of the points brought forth really resonated with me (though the books intended audience is primarily parents seeking to better understand their autistic child, I find the stories fascinating in how they align with my personal experience yet vary equally in other portions.
Definitely worth checking out! Super digestible read which was refreshing.
Definitely worth checking out! Super digestible read which was refreshing.
August 12, 2024
Beautifully written, open, and compelling memoir by Becca Lory Hector on what it was like to grow up and live in NYC as an undiagnosed autistic person, and how her late diagnosis empowered her to build a happy life. Great insights for autistic people, parents of autistic children, or for anyone who works with, or shares their life with, a person with autism.
October 7, 2025
I appreciated the susinct story telling is this. my special interest is mental health (I'm a licensed therapist) and specifically being passionate about helping autistic adults navigate life post social invalidation
June 10, 2024
This was the book I needed but didn’t have after my Autism diagnosis at the age of 32. ❤️
November 21, 2024
De los libros que he leído sobre autismo, este es probablemente el más útil y práctico.
March 9, 2025
This book is short and to the point. It is great for someone who wants to understand what it feels like to grow up as an undiagnosed autistic.
June 2, 2025
A great resource for coping mechanisms from the view point of an adult autistic female.
August 19, 2025
Easy read. Very accessible intro to autism and experiences.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews