The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids—and Come Back Stronger Than Ever

by Neha Ruch

A paradigm-shifting guide to career breaks after kids that rebrands stay-at-home parenthood for a new generation of women and families.

"So, what do you do?"

When Neha Ruch had to answer this seemingly innocent question for the first time after leaving her corporate job to care for her infant son, she drew a shameful blank. She couldn’t find the words to describe this new stage of life she’d just embarked on. She wasn’t a 1950s June Cleaver type, nor was she one of today’s updated stereotypes. (Craft Project Mom? Exhausted-in-Sweatpants Mom?) How, then, was she to navigate this identity shift?

Frustrated, Ruch embarked on a mission to rebrand the stay-at-home mother for a new generation of women who don’t want to leave their ambition behind just because they decide to pause or change their careers post-kids. Her online community, Mother Untitled, has become the leading voice and resource for women navigating this transition. In The Power Pause, Ruch addresses all the questions women face at this inflection point, such as, Can I afford to pause? Who am I without my career indentity? How do I find meaning in the role? And can I ever transition back to paid work?

With expert advice and diverse stories of stay-at-home mothers who buck every stereotype, as well as interactive exercises to help the reader plot a course for the long term, The Power Pause is an essential handbook for a new generation of caregivers.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Self Help, Book Club, Business, Childrens

320 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 14, 2025

About the author

Neha Ruch is the founder of Mother Untitled, the leading platform for ambitious women leaning into family life. A thought leader, influencer, and sought-after speaker focusing on women, work, parenting and identity, Neha’s work at Mother Untitled is catalyzing a shift in how society views stay-at-home motherhood. Her book, "THE POWER PAUSE: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids – and Come Back Stronger Than Ever," published w Putnam in January 2025. Neha lives in Manhattan with her husband, their two children, and their dog Coconut.

Reviews

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

The good here:
- This kind of book feels few and far between, so getting this perspective is refreshing in the way that Emily Oster's books (Expecting Better and Cribsheet have been.
- I liked how many people were featured in this book! Ruch clearly spent a lot of time interviewing and collecting stories from a variety of different women
- The data here is helpful, and interesting, and reminds me some of Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do
- I appreciate the practical approach here - while Ruch clearly got a lot out of her own career break, she is clear about the ways in which it can be a privilege to be able to forego income (and touches on the circumstances where it may not be a choice)

The so-so:
- Despite the breath of interview-ees, this book stays solidly in the corporate, middle to upper middle class world. The diversity feels lacking because despite the different industries, many of these women come from similar backgrounds educationally and economically, and therefore, their choice to stay home pans out in a roughly similar way.

- While she mentions that for many women, staying home is not a choice, none of her interviews or research touch on that aspect of things. Similarly, the extended family network that I have seen be so incredibly helpful to working families is never even discussed. The same with the grey area between not being able to afford childcare while working and yet still needing a second income

- While I know this is the truth, I did grate at how gendered this book was. The interviews are all with women taking a career break, and it would have been interesting to hear from their partners or from at least one man who has done something similar. Maybe she couldn't find anyone, but I would assume that is due to limited reach/scope.

- This is a small thing, but she frequently mentions websites and resources, which, while possibly useful, mean that this book could rapidly become out of date, as technologies, preferred websites and online forums change so frequently. I don't know the solution here, but I'd suggest that a guide to an online resource list that can be updated as things change might ultimately be a better idea?

Overall, despite my qualms, I think this is a great fit for women in a certain demographic, and while I don't totally fit the mold, i was able to find some useful pieces here for myself as well.

[Emily O’Flynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

5⭐️ I’m sure my high rating is due to the fact that this book is so relevant to me, as I’m in currently in my career pause, but nonetheless, it’s a great read! This book is everything I’ve needed to hear to reassure myself that my career pause is the right decision for me right now, while also giving me the confidence and resources that I need/will need when I do return to work. Being reminded that my time as a stay at home mom is simply just a “power pause” from my career, and not a goodbye to it, is what I’ve needed to hear, and it’s helped me to remember to really cherish the time period that I’m currently in!

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe it’s because I live and breathe this kind of stuff but I couldn’t finish this book. I took a power pause if you will (ha ha) except I won’t pick it up again. As someone with an MBA, I hate how other MBAs tend to only address their own peers… It felt like it was only speaking to a privileged, well educated, (otherwise) high-earning group of heterosexual cis women trying to explain that they were staying home by choice to their corporate peers. The ego consoling is simply not very interesting to me.

[Ranjini Shankar · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounding up. I think this didn’t resonate as much with me because I’m on the other end of my pause. It probably would have been a powerful read five years ago when I decided to step back. I was hoping for more psychology and studies (a la Anxious Generation) but this focus is far more on self help and very practical suggestions which aren’t relevant to me.

However, for anyone about to take the plunge there’s a lot of great advice in here and it’s an incredibly validating book.

[Christal Chiu Lokker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ruch accomplishes what she sets out to do, which is to provide reframing, encouragement, and strategy for women choosing to scale back from work.

The target demographic is women coming from white collar, professional jobs. There are mentions, but not thorough discussion of, structural systems and gendered factors at play. Though I personally would’ve liked to see more big picture commentary and inclusion of the experiences of low income women, that’s not what the book promises to do.

Overall, it was validating to see things that I’ve been thinking about and experiencing written down, and I will be recommending this to friends who are considering downshifting.

[Riley Bolton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so great for any mom or mom to be. Very thought provoking conversation about how society views mothers and their choice to work or stay home, and how we are using a “power pause” to make our own situation to be the best versions of ourselves.

[Deanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVED this practical take on how to approach work as a woman who loves being at home with her kids AND working outside the home (gasp!)! Turns out there are many, many more women in this boat, too - and I thoroughly enjoyed reading their stories and the author’s wisdom on the topic. I especially liked the logistical advice, exercises/questions she proposes that you work through before and during a career pause, and allllll the examples she gives of women who have found creative solutions that work for them and their families. Will definitely be looking back at this book for practical inspiration for years to come.

[Sarah Cupitt · Rating 4 out of 5]

reading for later on - a very interesting read

notes:
- Stepping away from your career can feel like an unsettling leap, especially when the world often equates success with constant forward motion. But for mothers, intentionally taking a pause – what we’ll call a power pause – offers the chance to redefine what success truly means.
- investing time and energy into personal growth, and emerging with a stronger sense of self
- an opportunity to recalibrate your life and discover what matters most.
- what do you do? For many women stepping away from paid work to focus on motherhood, this question reveals how much identity has been tied to professional status.
- Many women fear that leaving a job means becoming irrelevant or invisible. This mindset is shaped by outdated cultural stereotypes that portray stay-at-home mothers as unambitious or limited.
- history shows that mothers have always worked in some capacity, whether on family farms or as part of the industrial workforce. The modern archetype of the stay-at-home mom – dependent and confined – was largely a product of post-World War II media, not reality.
- Your professional past is still part of you, and your pause can add a valuable new dimension to your personal and professional life. Think of your career as a portfolio of skills and experiences rather than a single trajectory.
- Skills like problem-solving, communication, and empathy are just as relevant at home as they are in the workplace.
- So, when answering “What do you do?” frame your pause with confidence. Try something like, “Right now, I’m focused on family, but I’m also exploring new opportunities.”
- The idea that success as a stay-at-home mother means being a “Supermom” who excels at every aspect of domestic life is a false and exhausting belief. Real success is much simpler: it’s about aligning your actions and priorities with what truly matters to you and your family.
- Transitioning from a professional role to staying home often brings mixed emotions, especially if up to this point you’ve measured success by promotions, paychecks, or titles. The absence of external validation can leave you questioning whether you’re using your time well.
- your North Star might be “to be present with my family and approach each day with calm and contentment.” Let this become the filter for your choices.
- Many mothers believe they shouldn’t seek help unless they’re earning a paycheck, but this idea unfairly undervalues the relentless work of caregiving. Parenting is a 24/7 role that demands emotional and physical energy, and acknowledging the need for support isn’t a weakness
- Resisting support often stems from guilt or fear of judgment. You may feel uneasy paying for childcare when you’re not working for pay or worry that seeking help means you aren’t capable. These feelings are normal but misplaced. Outsourcing even small tasks, like cleaning or grocery shopping, can free up energy to focus on what matters most: being present for your children and maintaining your mental health.
- It’s easy to dismiss socializing as optional when your to-do list feels endless or your kids demand constant attention. Yet research shows that strong social ties are essential for your mental and physical health. Friendship reduces stress, lowers the risk of depression, and boosts confidence in your parenting choices. And this benefits your children, too, as your emotional well-being directly affects your family’s overall happiness.
- if making new friends feels daunting, remember that early parenthood is an ideal time to connect.
- Don’t let the myth of a perfect “mom squad” hold you back, either. Your network doesn’t need to be a tight-knit group – even casual acquaintances can offer valuable support.
- Parenting teaches you skills that employers value but can’t always teach – like multitasking, decision-making, patience, and empathy. When you’re ready to return, think of your pause as a portfolio of experiences rather than a gap. Highlight the roles you took on, such as leading a parent committee, organizing community events, or managing complex family logistics. These experiences demonstrate leadership, organization, and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances.

something I'll need to address later on:
- you’re sitting at the dinner table with your partner, staring at a budget spreadsheet, and you’re about to make one of the biggest decisions of your life – pausing your career to focus on motherhood. The idea can feel daunting, especially if you’ve always been proud of your financial independence
- Don’t overlook the importance of clear communication. Define roles and responsibilities so that both partners feel valued and respected. Discuss how household expenses will be managed and agree on rules for personal spending to maintain a sense of independence.
- Returning to work starts with clarity. Ask yourself what you want out of your next professional chapter. Are you looking for meaningful work, a steady paycheck, or flexibility to balance family life? Take the time to explore your options, and don’t rush into a role that doesn’t align with your priorities.
- Remember, you’re not just finding a job – you’re finding a culture that aligns with your values. A career pause isn’t a liability. It’s a reflection of your ability to make thoughtful decisions and prioritize what matters most.

quotes:
- Stay-at-home mothers aren’t ‘better’ for kids. Working mothers aren’t ‘better’ for kids. Research shows that a parent’s career status has no bearing on the happiness levels of their children.

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think there’s a lot of value in this book and a lot of validation in making the right choice for your family. I think this would be especially helpful if you were still considering becoming a stay-at-home mom, but I found value in it as well.

[Erin Robertson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been following Neha for a while and was excited for her book. I found it to be validating and empowering. Specifically thought it was a great audiobook since Neha narrates. Highly recommend for anyone in a similar situation!

[Hannah Brown]

Valuable paradigm shift, but this could have been an email

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wish I had this book 14 years ago!

[Kate Viner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I truly dread meeting new people because of the inevitable question: “So, what do you do?”

I stopped working 13 years ago when my first child was born. “Stay at home mom” never felt like the right explanation though for what I “do”. I’m heavily involved in my community and have taken on various leadership roles outside the home over the past decade+, but everything I have done is volunteer work and society doesn’t value this as much as paid work. (And maybe, neither do I?) So I stumble and ramble and feel embarrassed and unsure of myself whenever anyone asks me what I do.

But this book - wow. Thank you @neha_ruch. I feel seen and validated and prepared as I am now getting ready to press Play again on my career. Neha’s extensively researched book and her work with Mother Untitled has shown me that I’m not alone - both in terms of the choices I have made and the concerns I have for the future. I feel empowered with the language to explain my career break, my power pause, and I highly recommend this book to any woman who has taken a career break to focus on her family or is considering it. There are no mommy wars here. Every decision is the right one. I am so grateful for this book. Thank you. 🙏

[Siyu · Rating 4 out of 5]

The reframing was helpful (it’s all about the narrative after all) and so were treatments of specific pitfalls (not hiring help, not socializing, thinking that you have to be a power mom now that you don’t work, use your kid as a measure of your own success if you don’t have a paid job).

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Stay-at-home mothers aren’t ‘better’ for kids. Working mothers aren’t ‘better’ for kids. Research shows that a parent’s career status has no bearing on the happiness levels of their children. What is best for the kids, notes Tovah Klein, is to have a parent who’s generally happy with their life. ‘A more centered mother who feels good about herself in all of her identities is a better parent,’ she says. ‘No matter how you cut the data, any work-family setup that supports a woman in her confidence and her sense of self and meaningfulness will make her a better parent.’”

I want to start this review with the above quote because I truly believe that whether you do paid work or not, you are a GOOD parent. There are challenges and bonuses to paid and unpaid work, and any choice someone makes for themselves and their family is valid.

Neha Ruch, thank you. I needed this book so badly. As an ambitious, career driven woman, I struggled so much when I went back to work full time. I didn’t understand why I was feeling so disoriented and wanted to be home with my baby. I felt like I had to be all or nothing — stay-at-home or working. What did it mean for me to leave my job? How would that affect my career long term? How would I get back to full time work when I was ready? When I downshifted my career last July, I didn’t have the answers. I just knew that I needed a change. I so wish that I had this book a year ago (too bad it wasn’t published yet!) to help me navigate the complex feelings I had/have, but I’m so glad to have this book now for myself and to share with people I know who are looking to downshift or pause their careers. Ruch put into words my feelings and even gave me ways to talk about this point in my life without being awkward and over explaining myself, which I have definitely done a time or two. She also provides suggestions for how to maximize your time and energy during your pause, and I can’t wait to implement the plans that this book helped me create.
10/10 for the Power Pause.

[Zoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to the publisher, author and Netgalley the early read copy. The Power Pause by Neha Ruch came to me at the perfect time in my life as I was considering whether I would take a career pause and step out of my corporate job to stay at home with my kids. It was a truly phenomenal toolkit to help me think through my approach and frame my experience in a positive, valuable way. Ruch discusses her own experience stepping out of the workforce to care for kids and ultimately her approach to moving back into working as her kids grew older and her passion project became a reality. Ruch brings you from end-to-end in the journey starting with making your decision on whether and how to reduce your role, including how to talk to your boss, to how you can think about moving back into the work world at the end. I truly appreciated that she does some of the thinking for us (some I didn't even think about needing to have done), including what to say when people ask me what I do for a living or why I was out of work for a while. Her analysis is thorough and incorporates data as well as insight from other parents who did this journey before me. She gives value to this experience and ensures that the reader, who is stepping out of work, still sees themself as a skilled, worthy and capable person who has the opportunity to build more and different skills despite being out of the formal workplace. I love that Ruch helped me see so much value in my experience and removed all shame from it. She provided solid guidance on how to ensure you nurture yourself even while you are focused on nurturing your kids. That includes ensuring that you have whatever help works best for you (part-time babysitter, afterschool care, cleaning service, etc.) and that you seek opportunities for volunteering or engagement, etc. that work best for you too. I really loved this framing and internalized it. She provides practical support and exercises at the end of chapters to help you think through some of the more complex concerns including when you go back to work. She even gets tactical about what to put on your LinkedIn and resume, and how to talk about this time period as part of your interview process when returning to work. I would highly recommend The Power Pause for anyone thinking about taking a career break, especially those that are just starting to consider the idea, but it's really appropriate and should resonate with anyone on any part of their career break journey. I really appreciated the content and messaging and am so grateful I had the chance to read the book before it was released. 

[Jocelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 More about leaning into motherhood than going back to a career after kids. I was skeptical at first, but it was actually super applicable…

‘Friedan’s book The Feminine Mystique that criticizes stay at home mothers to her second book The Second Stage that shares her regrets, regretting making homemakers an enemy

Have a goal: I want to be present through each day with my family and be the calmest and most content version of myself

Don’t prioritize productivity but optimize for what’s important : getting the important things done rather than the most things

Limitless value of friends

Pursue new hobbies or interests: city board, school volunteer, church volunteer, workout, design?, woodwork

A hobby can be learning to be a better parent: Working to grow as a parent, we are working to grow as people ‘

[Megan Z · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a gift this book is! As a “stay at home” mother, I often feel misunderstood and judged by others. But just the first few pages of this book made me feel seen and validated in my choices and perspectives. Mothers - no matter their work status - are learning and growing and doing right by their children and family. This book is a huge leap forward in changing our culture’s narrative on this topic.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an empowering book for me, since I'm about to take a little time away from my career to reset and reassess. I loved the framework that it gave for thinking about how to respond to others when discussing your decision, how to embrace it for the true value that it can bring and never try to sweep it under the rug. It gave good advice into how to stay connected and continue learning and growing, as well as ideas for reentering the workforce, whether within a similar role or something different.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is not just changing the narrative on stay-at-home motherhood.l, but what it means to find ambition outside of the traditional 9-5 office culture. The resources The Power Pause provides has given me confidence as I navigate my career as a new mom. Plus, this message is for everyone, not just mothers.

[Nicolle Pollacia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A breath of fresh air in a time of transition from after having a child. This book has helped me create a clearer vision of my career path and role as a loving, present parent — knowing we are ever evolving and these stages are not forever. Highly suggest reading for anyone whose career has been their sole identity and is looking to transition into a pause for motherhood whether for a few months or a few years. An eye opening book that encourages the continuation of working on yourself post partum by building your curiosity, drive, and community.

[Corrie Lamb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Giving this a 4 bc a lot of the book didn’t apply to me. But the parts that did were very insightful. Made me feel more at peace in my decision to pause my career and focus on being a mom. I can always resume when my kid(s) are in school. This was a good reminder of how important raising kids is and that being a mom is a full time job within itself.

[Sarah D · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 rounded up. This book felt encouraging and empowering.
I did find that it was very America-centric, but the majority of advice was highly universal. There are so many ideas in here that I would like to return to and follow up.

[Lily Xu]

A playbook for contemporary women thinking about “pausing” their careers. The dominant theme, for me, was addressing ego and figuring out how to market the new you.

I particularly enjoyed the phrase “career portfolio” as this makes my circuitous career path feel so intentional.

[Mahreen · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title of this book caught my eye at the library and since I was contemplating a break, decided to read it. While there were some good nuggets of information here, there was something about the book that just didn’t vibe with me hence the 3 stars.

Plus as someone who has already done this once and landed on my feet in a better role, maybe I just wasn’t the target audience.

[Tillman Fossas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to this book and now want to get a hard copy to read it again! I felt very empowered and encouraged listening to this book, as I am currently in a career pause of my own as I stay home with my daughter. Ruch provides lots of data, real life examples, and practical ways to think about all things motherhood as it relates to staying home and returning to work one day.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

How I wish this book existed when I paused my career five years ago!

[Jodi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read for any mom. “Working moms” and the titles and stresses. She gives a voice to so many of the challenges but in a very helpful way. Thankful I have had the chance to fully pause, work part-time, and also full-time. All the stages offer similar struggles and no one choice is better. You do what you need to do for your family…but reading a full book dedicated to this is really helpful! Totally recommend this book.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

More than just platitudes, this book offers affirming perspectives on the hard work of motherhood and ways to continue to consider career and paid work while not in the workforce.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the book I wish I would have read post partum with my first.