Everything I Wish I Could Tell You About Midlife: A Woman's Guide to Health in the Body You Actually Have

by Mikala Albertson

As you've approached midlife, have you Is this . . . it? I thought it would get easier. I thought I'd have more figured out by now. Something is wrong, and I just can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's my thyroid? Drawing from eighteen years of medical practice and personal experience, Dr. Mikala Albertson addresses the universal struggles that women face while navigating health and healing in this new stage of life, exploring topics such as· current medical best practices for wellness and well-being · understanding perimenopause, hormones, mood disorders, body image, and more· balancing co-occurring stressors such as relationship troubles, caregiver expectations, and shifting motherhood roles· finding support, purpose, and healing in this difficult part of lifeYou may be weary, but there are steps you can take toward health and healing while discovering along the way that there is beauty here too.

Genres: Nonfiction, Health

272 pages, Hardcover

Published October 8, 2024

Reviews

[Bekah · Rating 2 out of 5]

A decent overview on some midlife issues for women with an emphasis on body positivity. She writes like a blogger which makes sense because she is one. I’m not sure this is exactly what I wanted it to be - a little over emotional at times and over technical at times and the flip flopping felt disjointed rather than well-balanced to me.

[Teresa Dennis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although I’m two decades beyond the author and her intended audience, I enjoyed this book and benefited from the information and positive message. I particularly liked the author’s comments about healing.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought about hiding this review because it contains some fairly critical opinions about the book's content and approach. But decided to 'be bold' and stand by my opinions, and leave it public. If you loved this book, especially its faith-based perspective, your experience may be very different from mine. I feel bad writing a negative review because the intentions of the book seem great and the author seems like a nice and great person. But this book just didn't hit it for me and I won't really be recommending it to others.

One reason I think for my negative feelings is let down expectations. I saw this on display at my library and decided to give it a read. As a woman, I have felt largely unprepared for every major 'stage of life' that I've come across. For example, when I finished school and entered the workforce, that shift from university student life to "real adulting" came with a feeling of being somewhat lost and adrift. Thoughts like, "Is this it?" and "Why don't I have it figured out? I thought I would because I'm a working adult now" and "Am I actually qualified to do this job? I can't believe they let me out of that place and said I could do this by myself now." That only years later do you realize, "Oh, that was normal, all 20 year old new grads/new work force professionals feel that way." Then when I became a parent, oh my GOD was I unprepared for ALL of it!! The child rearing, the emotions, the shift in mentality, the shift in Everything. Every bit of it! The post partum process, the post labor process, the Mom of small children process. I felt kindof annoyed and betrayed like, 'Why didn't anyone tell me this/talk about this!? Why is ALL of this not more common knowledge? Why are we not preparing women for their lives?' And SO, I decided 'maybe This time, I will try to prepare myself in advance. All of the other life stages have come as a jarring shock to me, I don't really know anything about menopause, so lets find out in advance, for Once, the nitty gritty about what's going to happen, what's going on, so that i am not "thrown into the deep end" like every other stage of womanhood and life has felt like to me.

Well, unfortunately I would Not say that I learned anything new at all from this book. The advice felt generic and familiar to everything already widely known online. A lot of this stuff 'is already happening' to me even though I don't consider myself middle aged at all. (like there are whole chapters on the exhaustion of being a Mom and Daughter/ sandwhich generation, having a job, yet also being the main care-giver for the chidlren... this is not 'middle age' stuff this is like young woman stuff.) Much of the books advice seems to fall into the category of "rest more, reduce stress, practice self-care, meditate, exercise, connect with friends" etc etc generic things. None of those are necessarily wrong, but if you've already read broadly about wellness, it can feel like the book isn't offering new insights. It also reads as if it's for someone who has never asked AI a question at all (or Google now, for that matter) in their whole life as everything in here has been answered in 10 seconds by a google search/ seemed like really common knowledge to me.

For me there was also way too much emphasis on religion/spirituality. I'm laughing because another reviewer here got mad that 'the book didn't align with Christian values' because she acknowledged the Existance of Trans in the forward LOL!!!!! (Like, Never even talked about them all in the entire book, just acknowledged they existed, and then the reviewer said 'this book does not align with Christian values.') - Well for me there was Way too much talk about God, spirituality, Bible study, hanging out with Christian friends and talking about God with your friends. If you do not follow the same view or lifestyle, the entire book starts to feel like 'this isn't for you.'

I also got irritated at some of the facts, but after further research maybe "I am the problem" or the outlier. The PMS example is mainly what I'm talking about. She talks about feelings of deep Rage and irritation in the 5 days or so leading up to your period. For me I have been tracking ('natural'/ sans birth control) symptoms with my cycle for around 2 years. I have noticed a Giant change in mood around Day 14 after the estrogen drop. COMPLETE anxiety, worked up in my head, ready to pick a fight, total 'fight or flight' feelings. Lasts about 2 days, then back to 'normalish' feelings until the progesterone drop - where I then get insomnia and just feelings of complete fatigue for the rest of the cycle. Maybe everyone else feels what I feel at day 14 in their last 5 days, but the point I'm making is hormonal changes and symptoms vary a lot between women, and I feel like this wasn't acknowledged or discussed. I would have liked more in-depth explanations on this area (the different range of symptoms and when they can occur in womens cycles.) The generalization of symptoms and when they happen that Didn't align with mine undermined my confidence in the rest of the advice.

The tone felt patronizing or irritating at times. I hated that chapter where she's trying to (tell?) spouse and kids for each week of the month how to react to the wife/mom? "don't worry, your mom will be back to normal soon" or "never tell her it's her hormones, even though it is!" was just weird and annoying. > The 'voice' or writing style/tone also felt like it jumped all over the place.

Ok the end. TLDNR - The advice felt generic, and was not really told in a way that was relatable to me.

[Amy Betters-Midtvedt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mikala is the doctor you wish you could see on a regular basis, the one who listens and understands and offers research based and helpful advice. And her book does just that. Through stories of real and relatable women, Mikala offers us hope and guidance during this time when it feels, frankly, like our bodies are going haywire! I devoured this on a first read and then referred to it time and again when I asked myself, "Wait, is this normal?" or "WHY do I feel like this?". Each time I read and learn and take heart and hope that I can indeed understand and love the body I actually have. If you are heading into or are deep into perimenopause or menopause this is the book you need on your night stand.

[Kimberly Yavorski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everything I Wish I Could Tell You About Midlife, A Woman’s Guide to Health in the Body you Actually Have, by Mikala Albertson, MD is the book all women need. Consider it the “What to Expect” book for those entering or in the midst of perimenopause.

In this informative and engaging book, Albertson shares information and anecdotes, many of them personal, that will help women better understand their bodies and feel less alone. A board-certified family practice doctor, she explains the medical and emotional changes many women will experience and talks about the importance of caring for not just the body, but also the mind and spirit. Helpful appendices at the end provide brief health screenings and reliable resources to help you learn even more about your own personal circumstances.

Reading this book is like sitting down and chatting with a good friend, one who has the knowledge and experience to provide sound advice. Albertson is quick to note that there is no quick fix or “one size fits all” treatment (in fact, one should be wary of such promises), but her matter-of-fact treatment of these very ordinary life events offers readers reassurance that even if it’s all a bit scary, you’re not alone.

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was excited to add this to my knowledge of mid-life and all that it offers. Unfortunately, I quit reading at the beginning when the disclaimer by author stated that the book was for women born with the female chromosomes, but she "recognizes that not all people born with genetically female chromosomes identify as female." Author then encourages reader to consider trans and nonbinary individuals as part of larger group discussed. Also in disclaimer, author states that she is a upper-middle class, heterosexual woman and that gives her privilege.
I will be asking for a refund for this book as it is not Christian.

[Jillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book that focuses on whole person wellness. The author incorporates the latest medical research, but this is not a dry read! The tone is incredibly warm as she incorporates stories from her patients over her long medical career. That’s because we all share similar life threads in midlife! We are not only experiencing changes to our bodies, but also changes in our lives, like launching children and caring for elderly parents. This is a book to read through once but then to keep Handy for referencing again and again!

[Randi Latzman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mikala Albertson's book is a unique marriage of medical advice and confidant. She weaves her own experiences as a midlife woman and as a doctor to cover an extensive list of topics such as perimenopause and life stressors. This book is a wealth of knowledge expressed in a down-to-earth and honest way. If you are a woman in midlife, you want to get this book!

[Kelsey Scism · Rating 5 out of 5]

Midlife mom here and I LOVE this book. Dr. Albertson weaves together her clinical experience with her roles as wife, mom, daughter, friend to give us a real, authentic, and practical guide for navigating the changes in this phase of life. I recommend this book for anyone in or nearing the midlife years.

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read this, marked it with notes, saved it for referencing in the future, and recommended it to my fellow 40 & 50 something friends. It’s so wonderful to read a book about midlife from an author who understands and isn’t afraid to go into the things that have been swept under the rug for women for far too long.

[Lauren Delaney Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly the only book women need. In a world where we are overwhelmed, bombarded by messages that were not enough, and slammed with “wellness” remedies that will “cure” our problems for a fee, THIS is the book that tells the truth of what we actually need. Best of all, reading it felt like a warm hug or cozy blanket, while learning and healing.

[Amy DeSales]

I feel bad criticizing this book, as the author clearly has good intentions. This book has some bits of wisdom strewn in among copious amounts of discussion about the travails of marriage, motherhood, and parental care. It's fine to acknowledge those, but I was looking for information, not commiseration.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some great information, much of which was a good reminder of information I already knew. The narrative sometimes veers into preachy territory, reflecting Dr. Albertson's strong beliefs. For this reason I rated it 4 instead of 5 stars.

[Meggan Erichsen · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF the audio book. The woman that read the book was very hard to listen to in my opinion. Her voice made it very distracting and hard to focus on the content of the book.

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this book. Well written and informative.

[Angela Coleman · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Brenda · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me feel seen, that I'm on the right path to getting the answers I need, and to rethink some hard lessons that need to be unlearned.

[Anne Sjobeck · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book is so important. There is such little content on mid-life. Super helpful information.

[Heidi Lara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful read about health & relationships!