From Australia's Dr Happy, this is a guidebook to the power of becoming a bit more lost – to getting out of our own heads and going off the beaten track.
Dr Tim Sharp has been researching, writing and speaking about happiness for decades, as one of Australia's leaders of the positive psychology movement. But in recent years, he's realised that maybe he's been a bit more lost than he wanted to admit. And that might actually be a good thing.
A large and growing body of research highlights the value of getting 'lost' to improve our resilience and our mental health. That could mean literally wandering outdoors in nature or letting our minds do the wandering by sitting with negative thoughts and unpleasant emotions, rather than constantly trying to fight or push them away.
Packed with psychological insights, practical tips and personal stories from Tim's life, Lost and Found is a new kind of self-help book that invites all of you to the table: the bad and the good, your failures and your successes, challenges and breakthroughs. By sitting with discomfort, we allow ourselves to become more authentic and vulnerable – and by becoming lost, we find our true selves.
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For someone who's never heard of the themes discussed, this could be a good starting point, it wasn't a match for me. I found this very repetitive of other books. It made my mind wander constantly (if that was the goal, that worked!). Most of the themes passed by without a lot of coherence and even now I have a hard time recalling exactly what I listened to for 7 hours. Not that the themes are bad, just not adding any new information. I was expecting/hoping something akin to The Pathless Path: Imagining a New Story For Work and Life, it's not, but it's triggering me to reread that one.
The book unfortunately didn't resonate with me. While the premise of finding oneself through wandering is interesting, I found the book quite boring. A significant portion relied on the author's personal experiences in his early post-university years to support its claims. Given that many individuals feel lost after graduating, this didn't strike me as particularly insightful or a strong foundation for the book's arguments. I would have appreciated examples from a broader range of life stages, such as individuals navigating midlife crises or later-life transitions, as these might have offered more relatable and impactful perspectives on the feeling of being lost.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
To my way of thinking, Sharp has written the quintessential pop psychology, self-help book. That's not necessarily a bad thing. His basic premise can probably best be summed up in the quote “Not all who wander are lost” from J.R.R. Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring, which Sharp incorporates in the text along with other familiar sayings, tropes, and cliches. He encourages readers to push their limits, get out of their comfort zones, and even be willing to take physical, mental, and emotional risks to experience a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
Sharp challenges his readers to get lost, as in literally leaving the hiking trail or taking a drive to unfamiliar places without GPS, but he also advocates for deliberately dismissing goals, objectives, plans, schedules, etc. when they become restrictive and cause us to miss opportunities. He firmly believes that this unconventional approach is essential for good mental health, and as a highly regarded therapist and writer who has suffered from depression and anxiety and even attempted to take his own life, his arguments can be quite convincing.
Along the way, Sharp discusses methods of dealing with anxiety and phobias that are directly related to the theme of this book: getting lost to really find yourself. He goes into some detail about building up mental and emotional immunity similar to the way the human body builds immunity by exposure. He gets redundant at times, but a lot of what he proposes makes sense to me. Unfortunately, he feels the need to toot his own horn too often regarding his educational and professional achievements, and although he attempts to justify why he does so every time, it gets a bit tiresome. Otherwise, this is an interesting way of justifying the modern adage of "thinking outside the box."
I was surprised and challenged by this book. I read it in conjunction with REWIRE by Nicole Vignola and this was the preferred read for me (both would be recommended for different reasons).
I enjoyed the pacing and style of this book and found the honesty refreshing. As a New Zealander I wonder if I identified more closely with an Australian writer compared to a South African but it might just as easily have been an age thing. Again it was not the material being new and different as much as being an interesting angle on a journey.
I have spoken about this book to others more than I usually would which is how it got a higher rating from me.
While nothing in this book was particularly groundbreaking (as I’m somehow who is already interested in personal growth) this book found me at just the right time. It was an awesome reminder of some truths about the way we avoid pain and in our desire to be comfortable and perfect, we’re harming our physical and mental health.