The Mablethorpe Connection

by B.P. Perry

Welcome to Mablethorpe!Pride of the Lincolnshire coast, playground to the not particularly rich and the not terribly famous, this unassuming seaside paradise is home to Detective Inspector Snake Wolfbane - Britain's most alcoholic maverick holiday policeman.Over the course of four sizzling crime capers (and one bonus Falklands War memoir), Snake is repeatedly forced to leave the sanctuary of his penthouse suite at the Time-A-While Bed & Breakfast - where he spends a large amount of time drinking heavily, cursing his ex-wife, listening to Jazz records and avoiding his awful landlady, Doris - and hit the mean streets of Mablethorpe in his beloved 1976 Aston Martin Lagonda to solve cases as diverse as an infestation of cannibals, the death of a legendary local bigwig, a vampire terrorising the town and playing babysitter to one half of a weird 1980s double act.With the town on the verge of financial collapse, and with criminals crawling out of the woodwork from all sides, Snake's going to need his keen copper's nose, his love of awful soft rock ballads, his encyclopaedic knowledge of local breakfast menus, his extensive wardrobe of eclectic clothing (in a wide range of man-made fibres), his questionable approach to modern policing procedures and his seemingly invincible liver if he's going to stand any chance of holding back the tsunami of frankly unbelievable events that threaten to engulf Mablethorpe and ruin the forthcoming Christmas panto season.Will he succeed?Only time, lashings of gut instinct, an enormous bottle of discount scotch and a faux-Cuban cigar sparked up right underneath a 'No Smoking' sign will tell.

257 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 23, 2011

About the author

B P Perry is an illustrator and author of the smash hit* crime novel, The Mablethorpe Connection (as well as a couple of dirty sex pamphlets).

He has worked in the magazine trade (until it started dying on its arse) for over fifteen years for such diverse (and mostly defunct) publications as Classic Rock, Metal Hammer, Bassist, The Big Issue, Redline, Total Guitar and Good Woodworking.

He is currently working on a book about a man who is attempting to jump over his semi-detached house on a motorcycle to annoy his awful wife.

*The words 'smash hit' are used her for decorative purposes only.

Reviews

[Steve Charnock · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've followed the amusing illustrations of author B P Perry for some time now, so I know he's a man capable of raising a few titters. But he's blown the roof off my titterbox with this thing... If you like laughing and reading books that aren't made of paper, then get on with it and buy the ruddy thing! Ridiculously funny.

[Zenith O'clock · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent read. made me hungry and drunk.

[Calum MacBeath · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliantly funny subversion of the UK detective novel.