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You'll Never Believe Me: A Life of Lies, Second Tries, and Things I Should Only Tell My Therapist
The compelling, edgy, compassionate, laugh-out-loud memoir from Kari Ferrell, formerly known as the Hipster Grifter
Before Anna Delvey, before the Tinder Swindler, there was Kari Ferrell. Adopted at a young age by a Mormon family in Utah, Kari struggled with questions of self-worth and identity as one of the few Asian Americans in her insulated community, leading her to run with the "bad crowd" in an effort to fit in. Soon, she graduated from petty crimes to more serious grifts, stealing money from unsuspecting targets and eventually hitting Utah’s Most Wanted List. Desperate for a fresh start, she moves to New York City, slips into the indie-sleaze scene where she games her way to a job at Vice News, picks up men and their wallets at clandestine bars, and becomes known as the Hipster Grifter, a moniker that she would never escape.
As the media--in true early aughts form--begins to sensationalize and fetishize her story and thousands followed along online, she hides from cops in a grungy Brooklyn apartment, eventually goes to jail where she survives prison riots and makes friends with her fellow inmates, struggles in a trailer park after her release , and in search of her roots, returns to Korea for the first time since birth.
In turns rollicking and irreverent, warm and compassionate, Kari's is a heartfelt memoir of redemption and reconciliation, as she eventually dedicates her life to activism, social justice, reform, and setting the record straight. You'll Never Believe Me tells Kari's story for the first time, introducing a fresh, hilarious new voice to the literary stage, and offering readers a nostalgic, uplifting, and, at times, unbelievable book that grapples with truth, why we lie, and what it means when our pasts don't paint the whole picture.
Before Anna Delvey, before the Tinder Swindler, there was Kari Ferrell. Adopted at a young age by a Mormon family in Utah, Kari struggled with questions of self-worth and identity as one of the few Asian Americans in her insulated community, leading her to run with the "bad crowd" in an effort to fit in. Soon, she graduated from petty crimes to more serious grifts, stealing money from unsuspecting targets and eventually hitting Utah’s Most Wanted List. Desperate for a fresh start, she moves to New York City, slips into the indie-sleaze scene where she games her way to a job at Vice News, picks up men and their wallets at clandestine bars, and becomes known as the Hipster Grifter, a moniker that she would never escape.
As the media--in true early aughts form--begins to sensationalize and fetishize her story and thousands followed along online, she hides from cops in a grungy Brooklyn apartment, eventually goes to jail where she survives prison riots and makes friends with her fellow inmates, struggles in a trailer park after her release , and in search of her roots, returns to Korea for the first time since birth.
In turns rollicking and irreverent, warm and compassionate, Kari's is a heartfelt memoir of redemption and reconciliation, as she eventually dedicates her life to activism, social justice, reform, and setting the record straight. You'll Never Believe Me tells Kari's story for the first time, introducing a fresh, hilarious new voice to the literary stage, and offering readers a nostalgic, uplifting, and, at times, unbelievable book that grapples with truth, why we lie, and what it means when our pasts don't paint the whole picture.
281 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 7, 2025
298 people are currently reading
26280 people want to read
About the author
Kari Ferrell
1 book74 followersKari Ferrell is a producer, writer, speaker, activist, and creator. Her work is centered around incarceration and the justice system, mental health, human rights, and other issues she feels passionately about.
Kari’s production company, Without Wax, is dedicated to uplifting and telling other WOC’s stories, across a variety of mediums. Every project that she works on is done with the mission of moving the needle toward a more compassionate society. She enjoys the work she does with Second Chance Studios, Books Through Bars, the ACLU, and other advocacy groups.
When she’s not working doing the above she enjoys spending time with her partner and rescue pup, crossword puzzles, eating x1000, boxing (to counteract the eating), getting stoned and writing about herself in the third person.
Kari’s production company, Without Wax, is dedicated to uplifting and telling other WOC’s stories, across a variety of mediums. Every project that she works on is done with the mission of moving the needle toward a more compassionate society. She enjoys the work she does with Second Chance Studios, Books Through Bars, the ACLU, and other advocacy groups.
When she’s not working doing the above she enjoys spending time with her partner and rescue pup, crossword puzzles, eating x1000, boxing (to counteract the eating), getting stoned and writing about herself in the third person.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 424 reviews
January 11, 2025
I am a different generation than Kari Ferrell and was not familiar with the Hipster Grifter, but found the book on a list of hot upcoming releases and was approved to review it for NetGalley.
Although she writes with a humorous style, I cringed through much of the book, imagining how it would feel to be one of Kari's friends she scammed, or the mother of one of the young men she scammed. Her connection with her adopted parents/family is negligible and not dived into by the author, and I could find no evidence of the author compensating those she stole from (and for which she served time) which ticked me off.
Trauma is very specific to each person, and I don't want to diminish Kari's issues with being Asian in America, or being adopted, but she still comes off as a pretty crass and awful person, which colored my view of her memoir. Kudos for her speaking to the issues incarcerated women face (although I recommend the book Mama Love for a better dive into that), but I'm not sure she has actually done anything on that topic.
As a reader I can't really separate my distaste for her actions from my review of her book. I guess some people may find it entertaining, but I'm not that target audience. 2-stars.
Although she writes with a humorous style, I cringed through much of the book, imagining how it would feel to be one of Kari's friends she scammed, or the mother of one of the young men she scammed. Her connection with her adopted parents/family is negligible and not dived into by the author, and I could find no evidence of the author compensating those she stole from (and for which she served time) which ticked me off.
Trauma is very specific to each person, and I don't want to diminish Kari's issues with being Asian in America, or being adopted, but she still comes off as a pretty crass and awful person, which colored my view of her memoir. Kudos for her speaking to the issues incarcerated women face (although I recommend the book Mama Love for a better dive into that), but I'm not sure she has actually done anything on that topic.
As a reader I can't really separate my distaste for her actions from my review of her book. I guess some people may find it entertaining, but I'm not that target audience. 2-stars.
December 5, 2024
If you, like me, are a particular vintage of millennial, you will remember the Hipster Grifter. For a brief time in the late aughts, stories about her crime spree dominated the snarkiest corners of the internet. Now she’s telling her own story—and it’s one well worth reading.
I basically inhaled this book. As she herself acknowledges, the author is skilled at wielding words, and she’s written an incredibly readable book infused with a darkly witty voice. Her stories about life as a cross-cultural adoptee and Mormon-turned-fraudster are laugh-out-loud funny at some points and heartbreaking at others. I also appreciated her clear desire to be an advocate for incarcerated woman.
If you’re looking for a quick, funny read that feels like talking to the wildest girl in your friend group, this one’s for you.
I basically inhaled this book. As she herself acknowledges, the author is skilled at wielding words, and she’s written an incredibly readable book infused with a darkly witty voice. Her stories about life as a cross-cultural adoptee and Mormon-turned-fraudster are laugh-out-loud funny at some points and heartbreaking at others. I also appreciated her clear desire to be an advocate for incarcerated woman.
If you’re looking for a quick, funny read that feels like talking to the wildest girl in your friend group, this one’s for you.
March 10, 2025
I read the book on my Kindle and listened to the audiobook through Libby.
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Before Anna Delvey, there was Kari Ferrell. She was adopted from South Korea by a Mormon couple in Utah. She struggled with self-esteem and self-worth, as a lot of adoptees struggle with, especially those who are transnational adoptees, like Kari herself.
Kari begins a life of financial crimes and it gives her the rush that she's looking for. She describes the fall-out from her legal misdeeds with an honesty that gives vulnerability a new light as she turns her life around, one step at a time.
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I had no idea who Kari was before I found this book on Kindle Unlimited. I rented it because I thought Kari sounded a lot like Anna Delvey. I mean, I wasn't wrong in the end. She had a pyramid scheme that sounded a lot like what Anna was running when she was arrested.
I can't imagine going along with a scam like Kari did, especially for as long as she did. No wonder her ex-boyfriend left her! I know that sounds awful but I'd do the same thing in his position if my partner was stealing money from me.
I can't imagine going in circles like that without being a crying mess the entire time. I wouldn't want to put up with the anxiety I can feel even right now. lol I would hate to have that on the back of my mind.
I'd hate having to run from the police but Kari did it successfully for quite a while. I have to say, she's stronger than me. lol I did enjoy reading (and listening to) about her experiences, both when she was committing the financial crimes and about her experiences in jail/prison.
I'd definitely recommend this book to people who enjoyed learning about Anna Delvey's crimes. I know I enjoyed watching Inventing Anna on Netflix and reading Rachel's book. In fact, I read Rachel's book twice. lol No, that's not a brag. Not really.
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
Before Anna Delvey, there was Kari Ferrell. She was adopted from South Korea by a Mormon couple in Utah. She struggled with self-esteem and self-worth, as a lot of adoptees struggle with, especially those who are transnational adoptees, like Kari herself.
Kari begins a life of financial crimes and it gives her the rush that she's looking for. She describes the fall-out from her legal misdeeds with an honesty that gives vulnerability a new light as she turns her life around, one step at a time.
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
I had no idea who Kari was before I found this book on Kindle Unlimited. I rented it because I thought Kari sounded a lot like Anna Delvey. I mean, I wasn't wrong in the end. She had a pyramid scheme that sounded a lot like what Anna was running when she was arrested.
I can't imagine going along with a scam like Kari did, especially for as long as she did. No wonder her ex-boyfriend left her! I know that sounds awful but I'd do the same thing in his position if my partner was stealing money from me.
I can't imagine going in circles like that without being a crying mess the entire time. I wouldn't want to put up with the anxiety I can feel even right now. lol I would hate to have that on the back of my mind.
I'd hate having to run from the police but Kari did it successfully for quite a while. I have to say, she's stronger than me. lol I did enjoy reading (and listening to) about her experiences, both when she was committing the financial crimes and about her experiences in jail/prison.
I'd definitely recommend this book to people who enjoyed learning about Anna Delvey's crimes. I know I enjoyed watching Inventing Anna on Netflix and reading Rachel's book. In fact, I read Rachel's book twice. lol No, that's not a brag. Not really.
June 18, 2025
I can't recall where I saw this book. It was some book list of anticipated releases for 2025. Whoever added it to that must-read list needs to more exposure to better books. This book was boring, and the author was uncompelling in any meaningful way. The description of the book, turns out, was mostly the equivalent of clickbait. Save your time folks. This one is a dud. Oh, and I actually don't believe everything she claimed, nor do I care.
February 14, 2025
There wasn’t quite as much grifter or hipster in this as I expected, but I think that was the point! This memoir was a real ride, and one in a number of recent books and documentaries in which someone whose life has been overly impacted by - or in some cases, victimized by - social or Internet media reclaims and corrects their narrative.
There were times here when I didn’t understand quite why, or what, I was reading, and I even had the thought that the narrator seemed to lack empathy. And then there were times when the narrator spoke really eloquently about important topics including adoption trauma and growing up as one of the only Asians in a conservative, white, largely Mormon community. She also effectively describes how people tend to abruptly write off teen girls who don’t conform to accepted models of emergent promising young womanhood. She has a bit of the class clown personality about her in that she does not shy away from offering some raunchy disclosures or shocking comments, but she can be funny and the tone of her writing and persona are definitely unique. There’s no question in my mind that she’s a talented writer who would have a lot of interesting things to say about other topics too, especially when matched with ones that would be a good fit for her style. I feel like she actually lived the life of a fictional protagonist in one of today’s popular thriller novels involving charismatic young scam artists.
Toward the end, during an engaging and humanizing portion where she describes a time in prison, she passingly mentions that she is only 23 at this time, and it landed with me that she had lived so much hard life by then and was really only a baby when much of this memoir happened! Her rebuilding process from all this took an admirable amount of toughness, reflection, and persistence, and I think it’s safe to say she definitely paid a pretty significant price for some early mistakes - especially when you consider what shady and often overtly malicious shit many people get away with over the long haul and well into maturity and the shoulda known better times…
Despite some of my mixed feelings, my overall conclusion is that this a worthwhile and original story about recovering and learning from those missteps we all make - which also often involve using the best survival skills and both personal and interpersonal resources we felt we had available to us at the time. As someone who made some pretty massive stumbles early on herself, I really appreciated this. Most importantly, I loved that the author remained authentic and a bit messy and didn’t sell out her story to some kind of tidy Hallmark Movie treatment as I fear some recent popular memoir authors have done.
There were times here when I didn’t understand quite why, or what, I was reading, and I even had the thought that the narrator seemed to lack empathy. And then there were times when the narrator spoke really eloquently about important topics including adoption trauma and growing up as one of the only Asians in a conservative, white, largely Mormon community. She also effectively describes how people tend to abruptly write off teen girls who don’t conform to accepted models of emergent promising young womanhood. She has a bit of the class clown personality about her in that she does not shy away from offering some raunchy disclosures or shocking comments, but she can be funny and the tone of her writing and persona are definitely unique. There’s no question in my mind that she’s a talented writer who would have a lot of interesting things to say about other topics too, especially when matched with ones that would be a good fit for her style. I feel like she actually lived the life of a fictional protagonist in one of today’s popular thriller novels involving charismatic young scam artists.
Toward the end, during an engaging and humanizing portion where she describes a time in prison, she passingly mentions that she is only 23 at this time, and it landed with me that she had lived so much hard life by then and was really only a baby when much of this memoir happened! Her rebuilding process from all this took an admirable amount of toughness, reflection, and persistence, and I think it’s safe to say she definitely paid a pretty significant price for some early mistakes - especially when you consider what shady and often overtly malicious shit many people get away with over the long haul and well into maturity and the shoulda known better times…
Despite some of my mixed feelings, my overall conclusion is that this a worthwhile and original story about recovering and learning from those missteps we all make - which also often involve using the best survival skills and both personal and interpersonal resources we felt we had available to us at the time. As someone who made some pretty massive stumbles early on herself, I really appreciated this. Most importantly, I loved that the author remained authentic and a bit messy and didn’t sell out her story to some kind of tidy Hallmark Movie treatment as I fear some recent popular memoir authors have done.
August 17, 2025
It is interesting to me how smart people can find themselves going down a wrong path, digging themselves into a deeper and deeper hole. Kari's story is only modestly interesting as far as memoirs go. The degree to which a reader will find this book entertaining is mostly dependent on how much your sense of humor aligns with Kari's wit. I listened to this book on audio, and I think the reader's comedic timing (it may be Kari, but I am unsure) did help things along. I teetered between 2 or 3 stars. The first half of the book was interesting since Kari was adopted from Korea by a couple who eventually became Mormons. Her upbringing was definitely not traditional. Her parents divorced, and that created instability for her and ultimately lead her to commit quite a bit of petty theft and check fraud. As the book progresses, Kari matures and manages to reset her life onto a better path. But it is at that point, that the book loses its narrative oomph as well. It becomes clear that the story is really one of a delayed coming of age, and the final "big" conclusions about our justice system and the patriarchy and racism come off as vaguely annoying. No one really wants to hear a social justice lecture from someone who lied and stole as much as Kari did. Especially someone who clearly has the intellectual heft, writing talents and work ethic to survive in some other way.
November 15, 2024
Wow!! I wish there was more because this was a really good read. Ferrell really pulls you in. This memoir tells of Ferrell really finding her identity. Her discussion of dieting as a kid brought back some rough memories. Once Ferrell begins talking about her grifting, the memoir feels like a movie. The growth and self-reflections she has by the end are admirable. Such a well done memoir!
Thank you Macmillan Audio and Net Galley for an advanced copy of this audiobook.
Thank you Macmillan Audio and Net Galley for an advanced copy of this audiobook.
December 9, 2024
I had never heard of Kari Ferrell before listening to this book (but I definitely googled "hipster grifter" as soon as I finished it). I'm fascinated by a lot of different elements in the book: growing up LDS, transnational adoption, selling yourself like a commodity while also focusing on "authenticity"...
I found that the memoir stayed pretty "surface level" to me. While Ferrell talks about her crimes and takes responsibility (for the most part), she doesn't go into her motivations or draw many (any?) conclusions. Obviously people are entitled to their privacy and can write memoirs however they like. I can admit that I expect more of a thesis or driving point in my books, and that includes memoirs. Why did she feel the need to write this? I'm still not sure even after having finished.
This was a quick listen and I think Ferrell, who narrated her own book, did a good job. (This is not a given - I've definitely heard authors who should NOT have been the ones to read their own books!). I think I'd have liked it more if I'd been more familiar with her story, so if you were an avid Gawker or Observer reader at the time of the Hipster Grifter stories, this would probably work better for you.
This objective review is based on a complimentary copy of the memoir.
I found that the memoir stayed pretty "surface level" to me. While Ferrell talks about her crimes and takes responsibility (for the most part), she doesn't go into her motivations or draw many (any?) conclusions. Obviously people are entitled to their privacy and can write memoirs however they like. I can admit that I expect more of a thesis or driving point in my books, and that includes memoirs. Why did she feel the need to write this? I'm still not sure even after having finished.
This was a quick listen and I think Ferrell, who narrated her own book, did a good job. (This is not a given - I've definitely heard authors who should NOT have been the ones to read their own books!). I think I'd have liked it more if I'd been more familiar with her story, so if you were an avid Gawker or Observer reader at the time of the Hipster Grifter stories, this would probably work better for you.
This objective review is based on a complimentary copy of the memoir.
January 25, 2025
Libby app, Overdrive was better.
Narrator did a good job but I had to keep reminding bits cause I missed what they were saying (could be my adhd though).
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The name Hipster Grifter sounded familiar to me,but I don't remember hearing the news stories or looking anything up (with my memory gaps though, who knows). Took a chance on this one without reading too many reviews.
My brain 🧠 checked out with all the s*x talk stuff but her story was really interesting. (I guessed she was adhd before she mentioned getting diagnosed with it.. neurodivergents for the win 🏆🙌).
I devoured this book 📖. It's very easy to get caught up in what's she telling you.
Her stories were funny, pulling on heartstrings, and will sometimes have you shaking your head and rolling your eyes 👀.
Would recommend, had fun with this one.
Narrator did a good job but I had to keep reminding bits cause I missed what they were saying (could be my adhd though).
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The name Hipster Grifter sounded familiar to me,but I don't remember hearing the news stories or looking anything up (with my memory gaps though, who knows). Took a chance on this one without reading too many reviews.
My brain 🧠 checked out with all the s*x talk stuff but her story was really interesting. (I guessed she was adhd before she mentioned getting diagnosed with it.. neurodivergents for the win 🏆🙌).
I devoured this book 📖. It's very easy to get caught up in what's she telling you.
Her stories were funny, pulling on heartstrings, and will sometimes have you shaking your head and rolling your eyes 👀.
Would recommend, had fun with this one.
October 14, 2024
Super unique perspective and personal story. I was hooked throughout the story. Covering experiences like growing up Mormon and spending time in prison with an authentic and often humorous tone was an engaging blend. I loved this!!
January 26, 2025
This is a tough one to rate/review. It’s definitely interesting and the author is extremely witty. She has a great sense of humor and is very charming (which is how she managed to con so many people). However, the author is a con artist and a thief. I found myself trying to empathize with the author but struggled because she treated her friends and family very poorly. She also treated strangers despicably. The author readily admits to this but I never felt the genuine remorse I was hoping for. But, ultimately, this is the author’s story to tell in the way that she wants to so I tried to respect that.
I was glad that we did get to see the author mature by the end of the book. She goes to therapy and enters into a seemingly honest and healthy romantic relationship.
I don’t know about this one. It’s a good book but it’s written by someone who admits having difficulty with the truth so I just kept wondering whether any of it happened the way she wrote it or is this book the ultimate grift?
Thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I was glad that we did get to see the author mature by the end of the book. She goes to therapy and enters into a seemingly honest and healthy romantic relationship.
I don’t know about this one. It’s a good book but it’s written by someone who admits having difficulty with the truth so I just kept wondering whether any of it happened the way she wrote it or is this book the ultimate grift?
Thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.
March 2, 2025
I decided to listen to this book as it had excellent reviews in The New York Times and other publications. But it is trash. Pure garbage. Ferrell writes about her memories hurting and stealing from her friends and acquaintances and ending up as a result in jail (well deserved). What irked me is her victimization. She constantly refers herself as a minority and a victim of the system. Feels traumatized by being a transnational adoptee by loving parents. So she lies to get by, get jobs, steal money, get favors and then after jail time and hitting bottom portrays herself as the queen of authenticity. But her authenticity is grotesque and vulgar, full of cliches and frankly, very boring.
June 6, 2024
I loved this book. Ferrell is so cool and shares her story like a badass. Apparently she was semi-famous and called the "Hipster Grifter" for a time, but I was never aware of the story. She was laundering bad checks and then escaped after she was out on bail. The summary gives away a lot of the details--otherwise I wouldn't spoil it--but Ferrell also details the time she spent in both jail and prison and what that experience was like. I actually had to put this book down a couple times because I didn't want it to end yet.
January 26, 2025
This memoir isn’t for everyone, but I found it both funny and enlightening at the same time. It’s also a story of growth and not being defined by one’s past, and reclaiming one’s own story. I actually found the very end of the book to have some of the best parts, which isn’t always the case. I listened to the audio book and it was well-narrated.
4 stars
4 stars
April 7, 2025
Kari Ferrell (b. 1987) is a Korean-American adoptee who became Internet Notorious in 2009 as "the Hipster Grifter" for scamming her friends and hookups (several years before fake heiress Anna Delvey became Internet Notorious for similar cons on a grander scale); she served prison time for these offenses. Ferrell's 2025 memoir, You'll Never Believe Me, recounts her life so far, from being a transracial adoptee, growing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the Salt Lake City, Utah, area, engaging in criminal behavior from her teens into her twenties, her incarceration, and her post-prison life including going to therapy (as the title alludes to) and visiting South Korea for the first time in her 30s.
I felt like Ferrell portrayed herself as a victim far too much in this memoir - basically chalking up her criminal activities to the past traumas she never dealt with until her late 20s. While many adoptees struggle with issues of abandonment, and transracial adoptees (particularly those of color raised by White families without connection to their cultures or countries of origin) can have a tough time with identity formation and integration, I think it's fair to assume that the vast majority of these adoptees don't commit felonies on their way to healing or as a retributive way to deal with systemic racism. Ferrell didn't just commit crimes against strangers or big corporations, but a large part of her grift was stealing from her friends. Even by the end of the book and after years of therapy, she didn't seem very sorry about what she did -- she just found more ways to rationalize it.
Further reading: transracial adoption
All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung
Woman of Interest: A Memoir by Tracy O'Neill | my review
Given Away: Korean Adoptees Tell Their Stories by Glenn and Julie Morey
The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption by Kathryn Joyce | my review
Further reading: memoirs of by those who've been incarcerated
The Many Lives of Mama Love: A Memoir of Lying, Stealing, Writing, and Healing by Lara Love Hardin | my review
Corrections in Ink: A Memoir by Keri Blakinger
My statistics:
Book 107 for 2025
Book 2033 cumulatively
I felt like Ferrell portrayed herself as a victim far too much in this memoir - basically chalking up her criminal activities to the past traumas she never dealt with until her late 20s. While many adoptees struggle with issues of abandonment, and transracial adoptees (particularly those of color raised by White families without connection to their cultures or countries of origin) can have a tough time with identity formation and integration, I think it's fair to assume that the vast majority of these adoptees don't commit felonies on their way to healing or as a retributive way to deal with systemic racism. Ferrell didn't just commit crimes against strangers or big corporations, but a large part of her grift was stealing from her friends. Even by the end of the book and after years of therapy, she didn't seem very sorry about what she did -- she just found more ways to rationalize it.
Further reading: transracial adoption
All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung
Woman of Interest: A Memoir by Tracy O'Neill | my review
Given Away: Korean Adoptees Tell Their Stories by Glenn and Julie Morey
The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption by Kathryn Joyce | my review
Further reading: memoirs of by those who've been incarcerated
The Many Lives of Mama Love: A Memoir of Lying, Stealing, Writing, and Healing by Lara Love Hardin | my review
Corrections in Ink: A Memoir by Keri Blakinger
My statistics:
Book 107 for 2025
Book 2033 cumulatively
April 12, 2025
I can’t really say I enjoyed this. I had empathy for Kari and admired her compassion for those people in her life she had both done wrong and done good for. I just didn’t find the story very interesting. I found the Utah parts both entertaining and a bit disconcerting. Her narrative style is a bit sketchy as she abruptly jumps from the end of a scene Leaving a lot of the explanations unsaid. And while her own character is laid out in minutia we hardly get insight of a single other person in her life except how they swirl in her orbit.
I have stated many times that I don’t enjoy memoirs. I may have read this for the wrong reasons. 2025 is the year I leave no book challenge behind. I became aware that Goodreads has their own awards to bestow. I’ve been trying to earn all the little bookmarks they hand out in this first third of the year. For most of them I’ve managed to read books I’ve really enjoyed, but for the one that dropped in March for Women’s History Month, non-fiction was demanded, heavy on biography and/or memoir. Nothing got me excited. This cover caught my eye as it was one of the ARCs I was given on Libro. It was shorter than most, so there you have it.
I have stated many times that I don’t enjoy memoirs. I may have read this for the wrong reasons. 2025 is the year I leave no book challenge behind. I became aware that Goodreads has their own awards to bestow. I’ve been trying to earn all the little bookmarks they hand out in this first third of the year. For most of them I’ve managed to read books I’ve really enjoyed, but for the one that dropped in March for Women’s History Month, non-fiction was demanded, heavy on biography and/or memoir. Nothing got me excited. This cover caught my eye as it was one of the ARCs I was given on Libro. It was shorter than most, so there you have it.
January 20, 2025
Hmm okay. So I think there were a lot of interesting things about this book. I had not ever heard of the hipster grifter, or KF’s story. But I was very intrigued by the description. I also love memoirs read by the author on audio. I think in general, this story has a lot of pieces that work well—a series of really problematic decisions, oftentimes cruel and selfish behavior, some pretty severe consequences, and later on, some success. But some things were really missing for me. I don’t think we ever get a clear understanding of how exactly she ran her scams, or a detailed look at the individual people she hurt. The characters throughout this story really blend
together (I kept thinking, wait who?!) making me more convinced they didn’t and don’t matter to her. We also don’t get meaningful insight into her thoughts at the time. She also mentions stealing from a ton of her good friends, yet we always see her having a bunch of friends, and it’s unclear if she ever really apologized to them, or paid them back. She talks about herself as relateable, quirky, smart, at one point as a manic pixie dream girl, but this wasn’t my experience of her. I found KF very unlikable, and I do feel kind of bad about that because I wanted to like her—she tried so hard to be funny, but I just kept wondering, wait, why don’t you feel sorry? It also seemed like she was trying to take a few details about her personal life (being adopted, being raised Mormon) and use them to make us see why she did why she did—and while people are gross and said some truly ignorant stuff to her, I think we all have experienced mean kids, horrible people making terrible comments about us for one reason or another, but most of us don’t go on to really harm people we supposedly care about, or lash out at people in general. I just didn’t buy that her life was so hard that she had all this anger and sadness that caused her to act out. I wanted to buy it, but she didn’t help me understand. KF also has a gigantic ego, something she freely admits multiple times throughout this memoir, but it didn’t help me sympathize with her, because we don’t see her redemption. I also find comments about how she was “reading at a high school level when [she] was 5…” really irritating. No you weren’t, stop. Even if you somehow were you wouldn’t have the frame of reference to read friggen Chaucer or whatever it is you’re claiming. She takes on a very cavalier tone consistently throughout. She must be a very charismatic person irl because she has been able to constantly have friends, jobs, boyfriends etc, but I’m not seeing exactly how she ever made real amends. There is a lot of arrogance in the way she talks about herself. She does call herself out at times, but it rings kind of hollow. I really feel bad because I think there’s a good chance she has actually become a good person, but this book doesn’t really show that. At times she sounds…proud. We never really understand her relationship with her family or real friends in depth at all, a huge part of the story. All in all, this was a solidly written memoir, with a worthwhile story, but the idea of this person being able to launch their crimes into a tv show, makes me angry.
together (I kept thinking, wait who?!) making me more convinced they didn’t and don’t matter to her. We also don’t get meaningful insight into her thoughts at the time. She also mentions stealing from a ton of her good friends, yet we always see her having a bunch of friends, and it’s unclear if she ever really apologized to them, or paid them back. She talks about herself as relateable, quirky, smart, at one point as a manic pixie dream girl, but this wasn’t my experience of her. I found KF very unlikable, and I do feel kind of bad about that because I wanted to like her—she tried so hard to be funny, but I just kept wondering, wait, why don’t you feel sorry? It also seemed like she was trying to take a few details about her personal life (being adopted, being raised Mormon) and use them to make us see why she did why she did—and while people are gross and said some truly ignorant stuff to her, I think we all have experienced mean kids, horrible people making terrible comments about us for one reason or another, but most of us don’t go on to really harm people we supposedly care about, or lash out at people in general. I just didn’t buy that her life was so hard that she had all this anger and sadness that caused her to act out. I wanted to buy it, but she didn’t help me understand. KF also has a gigantic ego, something she freely admits multiple times throughout this memoir, but it didn’t help me sympathize with her, because we don’t see her redemption. I also find comments about how she was “reading at a high school level when [she] was 5…” really irritating. No you weren’t, stop. Even if you somehow were you wouldn’t have the frame of reference to read friggen Chaucer or whatever it is you’re claiming. She takes on a very cavalier tone consistently throughout. She must be a very charismatic person irl because she has been able to constantly have friends, jobs, boyfriends etc, but I’m not seeing exactly how she ever made real amends. There is a lot of arrogance in the way she talks about herself. She does call herself out at times, but it rings kind of hollow. I really feel bad because I think there’s a good chance she has actually become a good person, but this book doesn’t really show that. At times she sounds…proud. We never really understand her relationship with her family or real friends in depth at all, a huge part of the story. All in all, this was a solidly written memoir, with a worthwhile story, but the idea of this person being able to launch their crimes into a tv show, makes me angry.
January 5, 2025
Before Anna Delvey, before the Tinder Swindler there was Kari Ferrell. Way back in 2009 she was dubbed the Hipster Grifter in an article that exposed not only how she scammed her way around Brooklyn, but that she was wanted for felony fraud in Utah.
Internet infamy followed, along with gossip, fetishization, exploitation + jail time. She committed petty theft + check fraud. Simultaneously charmed + duped people. The fascination with Kari’s story grew as people came forward with tales of deception and the public’s obsession with this mysterious con woman took on a life of its own.
But those stories didn’t tell the whole truth. They didn’t even get all of the stories right. And they didn’t tell Kari’s story. Did she do some awful things? Hurt people in the process? She’ll agree that she did. Were lines blurred and crossed by the media? Absolutely.
YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE ME is Kari’s turn to set the record straight, to bring the reader behind the curtain & into her world, her motivations and her life today.
Full disclosure, before I read this book I’d read some of the online stories. And before I read those stories I was one of those corporate world work colleagues she mentioned that loved working with her. It feels like a lifetime ago — really it was a decade, which kind of is a lifetime.
The book is written with wit, sharp humor — I laughed a lot — and a reflective nature. She can recognize the good, see where things went sideways and takes us through some dark moments. There’s a rawness to some chapters, a no holds barred look at her time in jail + the dark days that followed. It’s uncomfortable and vulnerable. It’s not every salacious detail, but it’s her audacious choices, her resilience and her determination to create something positive from the infamy.
The book reads like a friend telling you stories, as the cover says: a life of lies, second tries and things I should only tell my therapist. I’m glad she decided to tell us too!
I was lucky enough to get an audio ARC and the physical book and did a combo reading. Kari narrates the book which really elevates the story and adds her pitch perfect humor in all the right places. It's an entertaining, quick read and I recommend giving it a go.
Internet infamy followed, along with gossip, fetishization, exploitation + jail time. She committed petty theft + check fraud. Simultaneously charmed + duped people. The fascination with Kari’s story grew as people came forward with tales of deception and the public’s obsession with this mysterious con woman took on a life of its own.
But those stories didn’t tell the whole truth. They didn’t even get all of the stories right. And they didn’t tell Kari’s story. Did she do some awful things? Hurt people in the process? She’ll agree that she did. Were lines blurred and crossed by the media? Absolutely.
YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE ME is Kari’s turn to set the record straight, to bring the reader behind the curtain & into her world, her motivations and her life today.
Full disclosure, before I read this book I’d read some of the online stories. And before I read those stories I was one of those corporate world work colleagues she mentioned that loved working with her. It feels like a lifetime ago — really it was a decade, which kind of is a lifetime.
The book is written with wit, sharp humor — I laughed a lot — and a reflective nature. She can recognize the good, see where things went sideways and takes us through some dark moments. There’s a rawness to some chapters, a no holds barred look at her time in jail + the dark days that followed. It’s uncomfortable and vulnerable. It’s not every salacious detail, but it’s her audacious choices, her resilience and her determination to create something positive from the infamy.
The book reads like a friend telling you stories, as the cover says: a life of lies, second tries and things I should only tell my therapist. I’m glad she decided to tell us too!
I was lucky enough to get an audio ARC and the physical book and did a combo reading. Kari narrates the book which really elevates the story and adds her pitch perfect humor in all the right places. It's an entertaining, quick read and I recommend giving it a go.
January 9, 2025
2.5 Stars
You'll Never Believe Me by Kari Ferrell shows glimpses of potential but ultimately falls short of delivering a truly compelling memoir. While an easy and entertaining listen, the book suffers from a lack of depth.
Initially, the author's wit draws you in, but the humor soon becomes forced and overdone. The memoir also frustratingly skims over potentially rich material - a deeper look at Ferrell's adoption story, unpacking her separation from the Mormon church, the finer details of her involvement in various scams, or a more profound critique of the American criminal justice system.
Perhaps most disappointingly, the book lacks a meaningful redemption arc or evidence of personal growth. Rather than offering genuine reflection or remorse, it reads more like an attempt to maintain relevance. Still, Ferrell shows promise as a writer and you (kinda) have to admire the hustle.
Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an arc of You'll Never Believe Me in exchange for an honest review.
You'll Never Believe Me by Kari Ferrell shows glimpses of potential but ultimately falls short of delivering a truly compelling memoir. While an easy and entertaining listen, the book suffers from a lack of depth.
Initially, the author's wit draws you in, but the humor soon becomes forced and overdone. The memoir also frustratingly skims over potentially rich material - a deeper look at Ferrell's adoption story, unpacking her separation from the Mormon church, the finer details of her involvement in various scams, or a more profound critique of the American criminal justice system.
Perhaps most disappointingly, the book lacks a meaningful redemption arc or evidence of personal growth. Rather than offering genuine reflection or remorse, it reads more like an attempt to maintain relevance. Still, Ferrell shows promise as a writer and you (kinda) have to admire the hustle.
Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an arc of You'll Never Believe Me in exchange for an honest review.
July 11, 2024
Kari has written an absolute banger of an autobiography, reclaiming the narrative of her life that at times was out of control, only to rise from the ashes of her own doing. The “hipster grifter” moniker she was afforded, lent her a sense of infamy, but it is not who she truly is — at least not after everything she’s gone through.
This book is a look under the hood of all the hoopla, and how one ultimately finds the person they truly are through it all. Kari’s life has been harrowing and funny and frightening and eye-opening in equal measure, and being able to experience it through her eyes has been an empowering affair.
Put this in your “want to read” list, pre-order it, and enjoy it when it drops on 1/7/25. What a wonderful first novel!
This book is a look under the hood of all the hoopla, and how one ultimately finds the person they truly are through it all. Kari’s life has been harrowing and funny and frightening and eye-opening in equal measure, and being able to experience it through her eyes has been an empowering affair.
Put this in your “want to read” list, pre-order it, and enjoy it when it drops on 1/7/25. What a wonderful first novel!
December 6, 2024
4.25-4.5z
I devoured the audio in 24 hours! I knew nothing of the “Hipster Grifter” but I love a con-artist story so I was immediately intrigued by Ferrell’s memoir.
She’s an excellent storyteller and funny too. I will admit that I thought she was a bit immature or lacked insight at first but by the end I quickly changed my mind.
If you’re looking for an engaging, thoughtful and entertaining memoir then be sure to give this a go.
Thank you Macmillan Audio for the alc.
I devoured the audio in 24 hours! I knew nothing of the “Hipster Grifter” but I love a con-artist story so I was immediately intrigued by Ferrell’s memoir.
She’s an excellent storyteller and funny too. I will admit that I thought she was a bit immature or lacked insight at first but by the end I quickly changed my mind.
If you’re looking for an engaging, thoughtful and entertaining memoir then be sure to give this a go.
Thank you Macmillan Audio for the alc.
August 12, 2024
An amazing story that is, at times, soul crushing and truly LOL depending on the page. I didn’t know what to expect and what I got was so much better. Ferrell sets the scene with details that made me feel I was in Brooklyn, even though I’ve only been in my dreams.
I had no idea who she was, and now it feels like I’m one of her best mates. Highly recommend!
I had no idea who she was, and now it feels like I’m one of her best mates. Highly recommend!
April 24, 2025
I saw this book on a few "Anticipated & Best of 2025 Reads" lists, and while I don't mean to judge anyone's reading tastes, I honestly don't believe this memoir will go down as the Best of 2025 and am suspicious of all its accolades.
The book's blurb states that Kari Ferrell was the "Hipster Grifter" that many millennials knew of, but I guess I'm one (elder) millennial that missed her entire era. But I'm a sucker for memoirs and am on true-crime con kick (Scamanda, Apple Cider Vinegar, etc) so this book seemed right up my alley.
Based on all the glowing reviews I was expecting a lot, and this book just fell flat for me. The author seemed to be making a comedy routine out of her crimes (weird, but you do you, girl) and I never caught the part where she apologized or made amends to her many victims. And I guess because of the hype surrounding her history, I was expecting her crimes to be on a much larger scale, and instead it was her just writing bad checks to several friends and families: and please note that I'm not implying that what she did wasn't horrible, it WAS, I was just led to believe based on all the reviews that she scammed corporations on an Anna Delvey-like scale. I couldn't imagine, as a victim, reading this. Speaking of which, we don't get to know her family and friends very much either; they're just mere background actors in her one-woman show.
I do applaud the author for exposing the racism she felt throughout her life, and how she felt at being adopted and never getting to know her family or background. But that story just fades into the background of her more "comedic" escapades. I also applaud her for speaking out for incarcerated women and the issues that they face, but other memoirs have done that much better, IMHO.
In most memoirs you get a sense of why the person is acting the way that they are, and I never really derived that from this book myself. It's explained away in a therapy session towards the end, but at that point it felt like just a footnote. She doesn't seem very sorry for her actions and instead tries to rationalize it away.
The book's blurb states that Kari Ferrell was the "Hipster Grifter" that many millennials knew of, but I guess I'm one (elder) millennial that missed her entire era. But I'm a sucker for memoirs and am on true-crime con kick (Scamanda, Apple Cider Vinegar, etc) so this book seemed right up my alley.
Based on all the glowing reviews I was expecting a lot, and this book just fell flat for me. The author seemed to be making a comedy routine out of her crimes (weird, but you do you, girl) and I never caught the part where she apologized or made amends to her many victims. And I guess because of the hype surrounding her history, I was expecting her crimes to be on a much larger scale, and instead it was her just writing bad checks to several friends and families: and please note that I'm not implying that what she did wasn't horrible, it WAS, I was just led to believe based on all the reviews that she scammed corporations on an Anna Delvey-like scale. I couldn't imagine, as a victim, reading this. Speaking of which, we don't get to know her family and friends very much either; they're just mere background actors in her one-woman show.
I do applaud the author for exposing the racism she felt throughout her life, and how she felt at being adopted and never getting to know her family or background. But that story just fades into the background of her more "comedic" escapades. I also applaud her for speaking out for incarcerated women and the issues that they face, but other memoirs have done that much better, IMHO.
In most memoirs you get a sense of why the person is acting the way that they are, and I never really derived that from this book myself. It's explained away in a therapy session towards the end, but at that point it felt like just a footnote. She doesn't seem very sorry for her actions and instead tries to rationalize it away.
November 27, 2024
You'll Never Believe Me is the self-written, self-narrated autobiography/memoir of Kari Ferrell aka the Hipster Grifter.
It seems at some point this was all over the news but I've never heard of her before (oops), but I love a good self-narrated autobio and this was... all right? It was fine? It's Ferrell's childhood as a transnational adoptee (side note: I also love hearing stories from people in my age bracket and we had eerily similar childhoods outside of adoption and Mormon conversion) to a girl who was too good at talking her way into her friends' wallets and good graces until she evaded the authorities, moved 3,000 miles, and sort of did it all over again.
The major chunk of this book however is Ferrell's time in jail/prison as she states that her goal now is to bring attention and changes to the carceral system but the meat of it felt sort of... not much, as a listener? I'm sure it felt like a lot to her, and I was honestly surprised that she was only 23 when the majority of things went down but I think unfortunately what would have worked better for this book was more detail in... her scams, what actually happened and piled up that led to the warrant. It seemed like she was only in prison a few months before release, was somehow allowed to be released to a friend (who is also an ex-felon) before having to make it on her own in a stack of strange situations.... but then you read other articles about her (where she has been interviewed, even) and they don't match the story in the book either (for example, https://www.thecut.com/2022/05/kari-f... ), and she talks about a TV show that was in production before the pandemic, but easy googling shows there's been one in progress since 2022. So what's the truth? Of course the people want the juicy details from a scammer and What Really Happened but so much fell flat.
I did really enjoy the chapter (singular) about Farrell visiting South and North Korea and how it made her as a transnational adoptee feel, and there was a mention about how it fed into her current work (is this a book an advertisement for her production company?) , and there were bits and pieces that were interesting but overall it felt both lacking and not quite... enough? Flat?
But it was a quick listen, and entertaining for commuting!
Thank you to St Martin's Press and Macmillan Audio and Netgalley for the ALC in exchange for review!
It seems at some point this was all over the news but I've never heard of her before (oops), but I love a good self-narrated autobio and this was... all right? It was fine? It's Ferrell's childhood as a transnational adoptee (side note: I also love hearing stories from people in my age bracket and we had eerily similar childhoods outside of adoption and Mormon conversion) to a girl who was too good at talking her way into her friends' wallets and good graces until she evaded the authorities, moved 3,000 miles, and sort of did it all over again.
The major chunk of this book however is Ferrell's time in jail/prison as she states that her goal now is to bring attention and changes to the carceral system but the meat of it felt sort of... not much, as a listener? I'm sure it felt like a lot to her, and I was honestly surprised that she was only 23 when the majority of things went down but I think unfortunately what would have worked better for this book was more detail in... her scams, what actually happened and piled up that led to the warrant. It seemed like she was only in prison a few months before release, was somehow allowed to be released to a friend (who is also an ex-felon) before having to make it on her own in a stack of strange situations.... but then you read other articles about her (where she has been interviewed, even) and they don't match the story in the book either (for example, https://www.thecut.com/2022/05/kari-f... ), and she talks about a TV show that was in production before the pandemic, but easy googling shows there's been one in progress since 2022. So what's the truth? Of course the people want the juicy details from a scammer and What Really Happened but so much fell flat.
I did really enjoy the chapter (singular) about Farrell visiting South and North Korea and how it made her as a transnational adoptee feel, and there was a mention about how it fed into her current work (is this a book an advertisement for her production company?) , and there were bits and pieces that were interesting but overall it felt both lacking and not quite... enough? Flat?
But it was a quick listen, and entertaining for commuting!
Thank you to St Martin's Press and Macmillan Audio and Netgalley for the ALC in exchange for review!
January 6, 2025
Apparently, I live in a cave with no internet access, because I’d never heard of Kari Farrell, otherwise known as the “Hipster Grifter.” But I love memoirs, and hers sounded interesting, so here we are.
Some people are going to love her memoir, while others are going to hate it. Her writing made me laugh. She can be a little (!) vulgar, so if language offends you, this book is not for you. I enjoyed her honesty and observations, even though I felt like she tended to say (write) things for shock value.
If this memoir had been a novel, I’d be calling her out on plot holes. While she gave us a whole lot of personal information on certain issues, we leapt over others. But of course this is her memoir, and she gets to tell her story any way she wants.
I was especially interested in her thoughts on her childhood as a Korean child in a primarily white area, being adopted by white parents raising her as “white,” and her sense of being displaced from her roots. I would have loved more focus on this issue as she grew up and came to terms with it all.
*I received a free eARC from St. Martin’s Press, provided via NetGalley.*
Some people are going to love her memoir, while others are going to hate it. Her writing made me laugh. She can be a little (!) vulgar, so if language offends you, this book is not for you. I enjoyed her honesty and observations, even though I felt like she tended to say (write) things for shock value.
If this memoir had been a novel, I’d be calling her out on plot holes. While she gave us a whole lot of personal information on certain issues, we leapt over others. But of course this is her memoir, and she gets to tell her story any way she wants.
I was especially interested in her thoughts on her childhood as a Korean child in a primarily white area, being adopted by white parents raising her as “white,” and her sense of being displaced from her roots. I would have loved more focus on this issue as she grew up and came to terms with it all.
*I received a free eARC from St. Martin’s Press, provided via NetGalley.*
January 29, 2025
Thank baby Jesus millennials are finally writing memoirs. This was jaw-droppingly funny. Even though some of the things the “Hipster Grifter” pulled off (identity fraud, bad check cashing) weren’t nice, and I didn’t always “like” her, I always respected her perspective as a transnational adoptee from S Korea raised in LDS and determined to shoot her shot in all the ways once she finally came of age. Insider stints at Vice and, well, prison were entertaining and insightful, never exploitative.
February 12, 2025
I’m not sure why this book exists? I did not like it?
May 8, 2025
I wish I was half as funny and clever as she thinks she is
April 30, 2025
This book came across my suggested list and I wondered why ... until I started reading. This book is fantastic ... until it is not.
The book's second half is a cliché, summed up with this: "...every mistake, misstep and misfuck has brought me to where I am today. I've learned how to face each new challenge and opportunity with gratitude, strength and dumb jokes about processed meat. And all of it -- the good, the bad, the in-between -- has made me who I am: an activist, educator, kind friend, loving partner, and a good fucking storyteller. I have reclaimed my narrative, my name and my truth as best I can. But maybe you'll never believe me" (page 274). Yes, that is THE LITERAL END OF THE BOOK! [It's a fast read and I consumed the 277 pages in two reads.]
The book is not at all school appropriate, which is part of its charm and intrigue. My problem with the book (and the reason for my 3/5 star review) is my lack of care for our dear narrator.
She says she wants us to see that "no one is good or bad. We're a confused mess of all of the above, striving for the same thing: to hold the memory of our past lives close, as we trudge toward the unknown. Together." (page 160). But that's not the message I received from YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE ME: A Life of Lies, Second Tries, and Things I Should Only Tell My Therapist.
Kari Ferrell was born in South Korea and adopted into an American family ... "an alien creature in a foreign land" (page 86). Her parents soon join the Mormon church, after missionaries come to their door. Kari's family moves to Utah; in the book, she calls the Mormon church a cult; she calls out their misogynist and hypocritical ways. She also gives insight into some of the perplexing methods of the church, including baptisms for the dead, things, and origins from the Freemasons.
She also writes extensively about her sexuality -- both her struggles in knowing who she is, and also with the views of the church, which are in direct opposition to attraction to the same sex. This is never resolved though, because by the book's end she marries a man with no mention of her sexuality.
After her parents' divorce, she's kind of on her own (and still a teenager). She gets into an alternative music scene and has a gun drawn on her. Her reaction: "What a great story this will be" (page 61).
She tests out of high school and gets a job at a veterinarian clinic. She describes herself as a "miserable piece of shit" (page 70) with "an uncontrollable urge to fuck shit up because I didn't deserve anything good, and because I wanted revenge against a capitalistic and patriarchal hellscape" (page 68).
She starts money laundering from her friends and boyfriend. "Sex, blackmail and collusion were weapons I frequently pulled out of the arsenal" (page 74). She's arrested for third-degree felony identity fraud. While in jail, she worries about "the most innocent things--when would I be able to catch up on my favorite shows? What scandalous celebrity gossip was I missing?" (page 88). She gets out on bond and re-offends. And she re-offends to her own friends, which makes her leave for New York looking for "change, creativity, transformation and reform" (page 98). What does she do there? Lure bearded dudes into her web at Rbar, go home with them, and then leave with their cash, while they were left with blue balls (page 116).
She becomes an even less-likeable narrator on page 124 when she says (about a romantic love interest who is in a relationship with someone else), "...when they eventually broke up, the lung cancer I had lied about went into remission."
Later she writes, "I'd rather lie about money and having cancer than confront anyone or myself" (page 140).
While scrolling a news and pop culture website, Kari finds her mugshot on a most wanted ad. She was working for VICE at the time; soon, they post "a public 'memo' from 'The Department of Opposies', after they had discovered that one of their executive assistants was a fugitive" (page 132).
This was picked up by The New York Observer, and that's where she gains her lifelong moniker: Hipster Grifter. Her story picks up steam when Gawker posts about her, including interviews with past 'boyfriends' and also nudes. This story "had all the snappy features of what makes true crime fascinating to so many people, years before the genre really exploded" (page 134).
Kari ends up going to Philadelphia; lured by a friend, she ends up apprehended by the police. She spends time in jail, transfers to a Utah jail, is denied time served and says she has an epiphany when "Women of Color receive harsher sentences than white people who had committed the exact same crimes ... From that day forward, I may not have instantly become a better person, but I certainly became a more determined one" (pages 186-187).
I struggled with this ... like really? After all the lying, cheating, stealing, nefarious behavior, that's what got you to change?
I thought many more years had passed, so I was shocked on page 233 when she says she marries and is 23. She says at this point she has a good life, gets a dog, gets a job using her middle name and husband's last name. But then that job finds out about her past too, and says they have to let her go because her past isn't good for their client relationships.
At this point, she starts going to weekly therapy, "spurred by a newfound interest in finding myself in a way I hadn't been able to articulate before" (page 264).
She gets a new job and through that employment is able to go to Korea for a 48-hour period. She describes the DMZ just how I would: "like a dystopian Disneyland" (page 255).
She has a TV show in the works about her life, but pulls out. Then the pandemic hits, as does the rise in Asian hate crimes. She starts her own production company: Without Wax Productions. She encourages readers to go to her website to learn more about her company.
I don't know, the ending just felt too forced, too disingenuous. She writes about dualities, but it doesn't ring true for me ... maybe that's because she said, "Dualities are a fucking trip, and I took the time to really probe what I was told to feel at some point in my life and what I actually felt. And I came out of it even more confident that I was what most would consider a very good person" (page 272).
Sadly, I did not come to the same conclusion.
The book's second half is a cliché, summed up with this: "...every mistake, misstep and misfuck has brought me to where I am today. I've learned how to face each new challenge and opportunity with gratitude, strength and dumb jokes about processed meat. And all of it -- the good, the bad, the in-between -- has made me who I am: an activist, educator, kind friend, loving partner, and a good fucking storyteller. I have reclaimed my narrative, my name and my truth as best I can. But maybe you'll never believe me" (page 274). Yes, that is THE LITERAL END OF THE BOOK! [It's a fast read and I consumed the 277 pages in two reads.]
The book is not at all school appropriate, which is part of its charm and intrigue. My problem with the book (and the reason for my 3/5 star review) is my lack of care for our dear narrator.
She says she wants us to see that "no one is good or bad. We're a confused mess of all of the above, striving for the same thing: to hold the memory of our past lives close, as we trudge toward the unknown. Together." (page 160). But that's not the message I received from YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE ME: A Life of Lies, Second Tries, and Things I Should Only Tell My Therapist.
Kari Ferrell was born in South Korea and adopted into an American family ... "an alien creature in a foreign land" (page 86). Her parents soon join the Mormon church, after missionaries come to their door. Kari's family moves to Utah; in the book, she calls the Mormon church a cult; she calls out their misogynist and hypocritical ways. She also gives insight into some of the perplexing methods of the church, including baptisms for the dead, things, and origins from the Freemasons.
She also writes extensively about her sexuality -- both her struggles in knowing who she is, and also with the views of the church, which are in direct opposition to attraction to the same sex. This is never resolved though, because by the book's end she marries a man with no mention of her sexuality.
After her parents' divorce, she's kind of on her own (and still a teenager). She gets into an alternative music scene and has a gun drawn on her. Her reaction: "What a great story this will be" (page 61).
She tests out of high school and gets a job at a veterinarian clinic. She describes herself as a "miserable piece of shit" (page 70) with "an uncontrollable urge to fuck shit up because I didn't deserve anything good, and because I wanted revenge against a capitalistic and patriarchal hellscape" (page 68).
She starts money laundering from her friends and boyfriend. "Sex, blackmail and collusion were weapons I frequently pulled out of the arsenal" (page 74). She's arrested for third-degree felony identity fraud. While in jail, she worries about "the most innocent things--when would I be able to catch up on my favorite shows? What scandalous celebrity gossip was I missing?" (page 88). She gets out on bond and re-offends. And she re-offends to her own friends, which makes her leave for New York looking for "change, creativity, transformation and reform" (page 98). What does she do there? Lure bearded dudes into her web at Rbar, go home with them, and then leave with their cash, while they were left with blue balls (page 116).
She becomes an even less-likeable narrator on page 124 when she says (about a romantic love interest who is in a relationship with someone else), "...when they eventually broke up, the lung cancer I had lied about went into remission."
Later she writes, "I'd rather lie about money and having cancer than confront anyone or myself" (page 140).
While scrolling a news and pop culture website, Kari finds her mugshot on a most wanted ad. She was working for VICE at the time; soon, they post "a public 'memo' from 'The Department of Opposies', after they had discovered that one of their executive assistants was a fugitive" (page 132).
This was picked up by The New York Observer, and that's where she gains her lifelong moniker: Hipster Grifter. Her story picks up steam when Gawker posts about her, including interviews with past 'boyfriends' and also nudes. This story "had all the snappy features of what makes true crime fascinating to so many people, years before the genre really exploded" (page 134).
Kari ends up going to Philadelphia; lured by a friend, she ends up apprehended by the police. She spends time in jail, transfers to a Utah jail, is denied time served and says she has an epiphany when "Women of Color receive harsher sentences than white people who had committed the exact same crimes ... From that day forward, I may not have instantly become a better person, but I certainly became a more determined one" (pages 186-187).
I struggled with this ... like really? After all the lying, cheating, stealing, nefarious behavior, that's what got you to change?
I thought many more years had passed, so I was shocked on page 233 when she says she marries and is 23. She says at this point she has a good life, gets a dog, gets a job using her middle name and husband's last name. But then that job finds out about her past too, and says they have to let her go because her past isn't good for their client relationships.
At this point, she starts going to weekly therapy, "spurred by a newfound interest in finding myself in a way I hadn't been able to articulate before" (page 264).
She gets a new job and through that employment is able to go to Korea for a 48-hour period. She describes the DMZ just how I would: "like a dystopian Disneyland" (page 255).
She has a TV show in the works about her life, but pulls out. Then the pandemic hits, as does the rise in Asian hate crimes. She starts her own production company: Without Wax Productions. She encourages readers to go to her website to learn more about her company.
I don't know, the ending just felt too forced, too disingenuous. She writes about dualities, but it doesn't ring true for me ... maybe that's because she said, "Dualities are a fucking trip, and I took the time to really probe what I was told to feel at some point in my life and what I actually felt. And I came out of it even more confident that I was what most would consider a very good person" (page 272).
Sadly, I did not come to the same conclusion.
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