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Wohin das Licht entflieht
Herzzerreißend, einfühlsam, authentisch: Der neue Coming-of-Age-Roman von Sara Barnard.
Für die Welt ist Lizzie Beck ein Popstar: talentiert, berühmt, beliebt.
Für Emmy ist sie einfach Beth; ihre brillante Schwester, zu der sie aufschaut. Warmherzig, temperamentvoll, leuchtend.
Als Beth sich das Leben nimmt, verschwindet das Licht mit ihr und lässt Emmy in einer Dunkelheit zurück, aus der sie sich nur schwer befreien kann. Inmitten des Mediensturms und der überwältigenden öffentlichen Trauer muss Emmy darum kämpfen, ihre Erinnerungen an Beth zu bewahren und herausfinden, wer sie ohne ihre geliebte Schwester eigentlich ist.
Eine intensive und schonungslos ehrliche Erforschung von Trauer und öffentlichen Hetzjagden in den sozialen Medien!
Für die Welt ist Lizzie Beck ein Popstar: talentiert, berühmt, beliebt.
Für Emmy ist sie einfach Beth; ihre brillante Schwester, zu der sie aufschaut. Warmherzig, temperamentvoll, leuchtend.
Als Beth sich das Leben nimmt, verschwindet das Licht mit ihr und lässt Emmy in einer Dunkelheit zurück, aus der sie sich nur schwer befreien kann. Inmitten des Mediensturms und der überwältigenden öffentlichen Trauer muss Emmy darum kämpfen, ihre Erinnerungen an Beth zu bewahren und herausfinden, wer sie ohne ihre geliebte Schwester eigentlich ist.
Eine intensive und schonungslos ehrliche Erforschung von Trauer und öffentlichen Hetzjagden in den sozialen Medien!
400 pages, Hardcover
First published May 4, 2023
32 people are currently reading
1080 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 174 reviews
February 22, 2023
Highly recommend if you would like to read a piece of my heart.
September 12, 2023
Not an easy read for me. Emotionally raw and powerful in what it has to say about mental health and media scrunity
June 2, 2023
4.5 stars
Headlines:
Navigating grief
Read through the hurt
Grief is a scream you're living inside.
Like every Sara Barnard book I've read, this book was superb, but this was a different offering from this author...jagged, painful and raw. The story revolves around Emmy who's famous sister just took her own life. I'm mentioning this in the first paragraph because this is one where you need to know what you're getting into and be sure this is a topic you can handle. Sara Barnard navigates the difficult theme of suicide and its arising grief with honesty and care.
Emmy's experiences started on day one and ended years later. The early days ticked by with the slow thud of pain. Her family were a complete s*** show (understandably) and her friends struggled to be what Emmy needed. Conversely, Emmy struggled to ask for what she needed.
How the story ebbed across the pages took the reader on this painful journey, feeling the hurt but also the love-aches that Emmy was feeling for Beth. Emmy had all the emotions but as a reader I also felt heartache, anger and resentment. Being from a priviledged family didn't seem to help Emmy at all other than the later therapy she accessed.
Talking of therapy, the way this book was formatted really added to the reading experience including some therapy insights. We also got messages, voice notes (transcripted), tweets and news headlines.
The author leaves the reader in a good place, I think that's important to mention when dealing with such a tough theme as this; you will be ultimately safe with this read.
Thank you to Walker books for the early copy.
Content warnings: suicide, grief, substance misuse, alcohol misuse
Find this review at A Take From Two Cities Blog.
Headlines:
Navigating grief
Read through the hurt
Grief is a scream you're living inside.
Like every Sara Barnard book I've read, this book was superb, but this was a different offering from this author...jagged, painful and raw. The story revolves around Emmy who's famous sister just took her own life. I'm mentioning this in the first paragraph because this is one where you need to know what you're getting into and be sure this is a topic you can handle. Sara Barnard navigates the difficult theme of suicide and its arising grief with honesty and care.
Emmy's experiences started on day one and ended years later. The early days ticked by with the slow thud of pain. Her family were a complete s*** show (understandably) and her friends struggled to be what Emmy needed. Conversely, Emmy struggled to ask for what she needed.
How the story ebbed across the pages took the reader on this painful journey, feeling the hurt but also the love-aches that Emmy was feeling for Beth. Emmy had all the emotions but as a reader I also felt heartache, anger and resentment. Being from a priviledged family didn't seem to help Emmy at all other than the later therapy she accessed.
Talking of therapy, the way this book was formatted really added to the reading experience including some therapy insights. We also got messages, voice notes (transcripted), tweets and news headlines.
The author leaves the reader in a good place, I think that's important to mention when dealing with such a tough theme as this; you will be ultimately safe with this read.
Thank you to Walker books for the early copy.
Content warnings: suicide, grief, substance misuse, alcohol misuse
Find this review at A Take From Two Cities Blog.
February 18, 2024
This book is so good and expresses grief in a way that you probably haven’t heard before.This book did make me cry. Loved it.
May 18, 2023
A heart-wrenching, raw exploration or grief that reduced me to tears and broke my heart but somehow left me filled with hope.
“Sad is a small word to carry so much pain”
Where The Light Goes follows Emmy in the aftermath of her famous sister Beth’s death by suicide. As a reader we feel her desperation, her heartbreak, her confusion, her anger, her denial, her helplessness and eventually her coming to terms with what has happened. You see the impact on Emmy, her family, her friendships, her relationships with others and herself. There is an honest and painful look at the impact of social media and trolls - just how much can one person endure? A book that will give you reason to pause and think, but make sure you have tissues at the ready - I was sobbing by the end!
It feels wrong to try and make comment about how ‘good’ a book is about such a poignant and personal topic but as someone who has felt the impact of death by suicide, what I can say is that Sara Barnard has written a phenomenal novel that will stick with me forever.
Thank you to Walker Books, Sara Barnard and NetGalley for my early review copy in exchange of a fair and honest review.
“Sad is a small word to carry so much pain”
Where The Light Goes follows Emmy in the aftermath of her famous sister Beth’s death by suicide. As a reader we feel her desperation, her heartbreak, her confusion, her anger, her denial, her helplessness and eventually her coming to terms with what has happened. You see the impact on Emmy, her family, her friendships, her relationships with others and herself. There is an honest and painful look at the impact of social media and trolls - just how much can one person endure? A book that will give you reason to pause and think, but make sure you have tissues at the ready - I was sobbing by the end!
It feels wrong to try and make comment about how ‘good’ a book is about such a poignant and personal topic but as someone who has felt the impact of death by suicide, what I can say is that Sara Barnard has written a phenomenal novel that will stick with me forever.
Thank you to Walker Books, Sara Barnard and NetGalley for my early review copy in exchange of a fair and honest review.
August 1, 2023
That’s fine. It’s OK, Sara Barnard. I didn’t need those tears on the inside of my body. Oh wow. Cool. Your novels always sneak up on me, both in the sense that I often don’t hear about them until they’re just being published, and also in the sense that the first half or so of the story often undersells itself until it builds to a final, incredible crescendo. Where the Light Goes continues this trend in a big way. I didn’t think I would give this book five stars—unlike
Fierce Fragile Hearts
, which I identified with very closely, Where the Light Goes is about losing a sister to suicide—fortunately, I haven’t endured any loss like that. I was expecting to find this book beautiful from a distance. But no, you just had to tiptoe around all my emotional defences and tap me on the shoulder, then when I turned around to look you tapped me on the other shoulder, and finally you whispered, “Got you,” before delivering that exquisitely heartbreaking final sequence.
Emmy Beckwith is sixteen years old. Her older sister, Beth, is known to the rest of the world as Lizzie Beck, one quarter of a surprisingly successful girl pop group, The Jinks. After Beth dies by suicide, Emmy of course is left with unanswered questions, grief, and the heavy hypocrisy of media and people in Beth’s life who knew her more as Lizzie. The book counts the number of days since Beth’s death. Emmy and her immediate family grapple with what it means to lose a daughter but also to lose the person who provided the family’s connection to fame and fortune.
I wasn’t prepared for the staccato style of writing Barnard employs here—but I kind of loved it? And I say this as someone who is generally rather harsh when writers deviate from the conventional chapter-and-paragraph form of the modern novel; the further I get out of my heady days of university literature, the more I just crave that conventional storytelling. However, in this case, I think the choice works very well in capturing Emmy’s volatile emotions and memories. The same goes for interspersing news report excerpts, transcripts from interviews, WhatsApp conversations, etc. Where the Light Goes feels like an attempt at adapting and pushing the novel form in a direction that might appeal more and more to the youngest generation of young adult readers. In the past I have been skeptical of authors including these kinds of devices because they can feel gimmicky. Here, however, it just works.
The style also feels very appropriate given the chunking that often accompanies grief. I have the privilege of never having lost anyone as close to me as Emmy was to her sister. So I took my time sitting with what Emmy felt and how she acted. Writing grief, portraying it deeply without shading into melodrama, is a tall order. Barnard really captures how emotions can turn on a dime. How you can be rude to friends and family, do things you might regret, before turning around and needing someone a minute later. Add on top of this the hormones and stress of being a sixteen-year-old girl, of having a famous sister … well, it’s a lot.
I have often been in the role of Grey and Emmy’s other friends. Between reading this book and writing this review, my ride-or-die’s father died. She’s far away from me, so there isn’t much I can do. I sent her a short text, much like Grey does to Emmy, knowing that she didn’t need one more person blowing up her phone right now. Sometimes the hardest thing to do as a friend is to wait.
Lurking beneath these character studies in grief is the even more insidious theme of how celebrity twists relationships. Obviously we see this in how media outlets capitalize on Beth’s death for content in the same way they used her while she was alive. However, the more fascinating example to me is between Emmy and her dad. As The Jinks’ manager, Emmy’s dad must process Beth’s death in two ways. He has lost his daughter, yes. But with the fate of the band uncertain, he is also facing losing his job. The way that this creates some intra-family strife is very fascinating. I love how Barnard manages to portray all three of the Beckwiths with such grace and roundness. None of them are bad people. Emmy’s mum is upset with Malcolm at times, but she also understands why he acts the way he does. Vice versa for Emmy talking with her mum, or with her dad. Again, it’s the way that Barnard navigates through this turmoil without tipping over into melodrama that truly impresses me.
And that ending. Yeah, that’s how this book needed to end. I cried. The transcript especially, the way that Barnard privileges us with the glimpse forward so we can see how Emmy continues to deal with this event … it’s great.
Where the Light Goes deals with extremely heavy themes around suicide, drug use, and fame. It is an intense book. But it is also a Sara Barnard book—I don’t think she has a gear other than “intense,” nor do I want one from her. If Courtney Summers is the Queen of YA Devastation, Sara Barnard is the Duchess of YA Anguish. She tells stories that always land on the sadder side of real in a way that remind us that sadness isn’t something we can run from, only through.
Originally posted on Kara.Reviews, where you can easily browse all my reviews and subscribe to my newsletter.
Emmy Beckwith is sixteen years old. Her older sister, Beth, is known to the rest of the world as Lizzie Beck, one quarter of a surprisingly successful girl pop group, The Jinks. After Beth dies by suicide, Emmy of course is left with unanswered questions, grief, and the heavy hypocrisy of media and people in Beth’s life who knew her more as Lizzie. The book counts the number of days since Beth’s death. Emmy and her immediate family grapple with what it means to lose a daughter but also to lose the person who provided the family’s connection to fame and fortune.
I wasn’t prepared for the staccato style of writing Barnard employs here—but I kind of loved it? And I say this as someone who is generally rather harsh when writers deviate from the conventional chapter-and-paragraph form of the modern novel; the further I get out of my heady days of university literature, the more I just crave that conventional storytelling. However, in this case, I think the choice works very well in capturing Emmy’s volatile emotions and memories. The same goes for interspersing news report excerpts, transcripts from interviews, WhatsApp conversations, etc. Where the Light Goes feels like an attempt at adapting and pushing the novel form in a direction that might appeal more and more to the youngest generation of young adult readers. In the past I have been skeptical of authors including these kinds of devices because they can feel gimmicky. Here, however, it just works.
The style also feels very appropriate given the chunking that often accompanies grief. I have the privilege of never having lost anyone as close to me as Emmy was to her sister. So I took my time sitting with what Emmy felt and how she acted. Writing grief, portraying it deeply without shading into melodrama, is a tall order. Barnard really captures how emotions can turn on a dime. How you can be rude to friends and family, do things you might regret, before turning around and needing someone a minute later. Add on top of this the hormones and stress of being a sixteen-year-old girl, of having a famous sister … well, it’s a lot.
I have often been in the role of Grey and Emmy’s other friends. Between reading this book and writing this review, my ride-or-die’s father died. She’s far away from me, so there isn’t much I can do. I sent her a short text, much like Grey does to Emmy, knowing that she didn’t need one more person blowing up her phone right now. Sometimes the hardest thing to do as a friend is to wait.
Lurking beneath these character studies in grief is the even more insidious theme of how celebrity twists relationships. Obviously we see this in how media outlets capitalize on Beth’s death for content in the same way they used her while she was alive. However, the more fascinating example to me is between Emmy and her dad. As The Jinks’ manager, Emmy’s dad must process Beth’s death in two ways. He has lost his daughter, yes. But with the fate of the band uncertain, he is also facing losing his job. The way that this creates some intra-family strife is very fascinating. I love how Barnard manages to portray all three of the Beckwiths with such grace and roundness. None of them are bad people. Emmy’s mum is upset with Malcolm at times, but she also understands why he acts the way he does. Vice versa for Emmy talking with her mum, or with her dad. Again, it’s the way that Barnard navigates through this turmoil without tipping over into melodrama that truly impresses me.
And that ending. Yeah, that’s how this book needed to end. I cried. The transcript especially, the way that Barnard privileges us with the glimpse forward so we can see how Emmy continues to deal with this event … it’s great.
Where the Light Goes deals with extremely heavy themes around suicide, drug use, and fame. It is an intense book. But it is also a Sara Barnard book—I don’t think she has a gear other than “intense,” nor do I want one from her. If Courtney Summers is the Queen of YA Devastation, Sara Barnard is the Duchess of YA Anguish. She tells stories that always land on the sadder side of real in a way that remind us that sadness isn’t something we can run from, only through.
Originally posted on Kara.Reviews, where you can easily browse all my reviews and subscribe to my newsletter.
July 31, 2023
“sad is a small word to carry so much pain.” ok this was such an anticipated read for me cause i came across it on tiktok and almost immediately bought it. it’s really good but i couldn’t stand the mc sometimes, i don’t really know how to feel about this maybe more like a 3.5 ⭐️
May 25, 2023
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a free eARC in exchange for an honest review!
This is by no means an easy read, although the author does have a really lovely writing style that is easy TO read - if that makes any sense. I've loved the author's other books so I knew I really wanted to pick this up and I'm so glad I did - this was such a raw depiction of grief, and it was very powerful.
"Sad is a small word to carry so much pain."
In this book we follow Emmy, whose sister has just died by suicide. I thought the author handled this really sensitive topic very gently and with care, which was lovely. There's of course a lot of confusion and heartbreak and anger for Emmy, and the book follows the impact of this death on Emmy and her family, as well as the world given that her sister was a celebrity. The book also deals with the impact of social media upon a person, which is of course very prevalent in today's society.
One part of this book that I really loved was the multimedia format. Throughout the book there are inclusions of tweets and articles showing what is happening in the outside world. I also really enjoyed how at the start of the book, in the very raw first days of grief, there are maybe one or two sentences per page, but by the end of the book, the chapters are formatted far more standardly, showing, I think, how Emmy slowly starts to move forward.
This is by no means an easy read, although the author does have a really lovely writing style that is easy TO read - if that makes any sense. I've loved the author's other books so I knew I really wanted to pick this up and I'm so glad I did - this was such a raw depiction of grief, and it was very powerful.
"Sad is a small word to carry so much pain."
In this book we follow Emmy, whose sister has just died by suicide. I thought the author handled this really sensitive topic very gently and with care, which was lovely. There's of course a lot of confusion and heartbreak and anger for Emmy, and the book follows the impact of this death on Emmy and her family, as well as the world given that her sister was a celebrity. The book also deals with the impact of social media upon a person, which is of course very prevalent in today's society.
One part of this book that I really loved was the multimedia format. Throughout the book there are inclusions of tweets and articles showing what is happening in the outside world. I also really enjoyed how at the start of the book, in the very raw first days of grief, there are maybe one or two sentences per page, but by the end of the book, the chapters are formatted far more standardly, showing, I think, how Emmy slowly starts to move forward.
May 4, 2023
perfect as always
June 2, 2023
Such a impressive book, raw in emotions and telling a heartbreaking story!
I immediately was hooked and bounded with the story and Emmy.
Tells a story about mental health and the hell (social) media can be. Heartbreaking.
Make sure to check out the TW, suïcide!
I immediately was hooked and bounded with the story and Emmy.
Tells a story about mental health and the hell (social) media can be. Heartbreaking.
Make sure to check out the TW, suïcide!
October 25, 2023
When walking around the bookstore I was drawn to this book. Dealing with loss and grief is a subject we don't talk about alot. This book took it's time to walk with us and Emmy. Some days it was hard to pick up the book which was like dealing with the loss myself.
Finishing this book brought me peace which was a nice way to end this.
Finishing this book brought me peace which was a nice way to end this.
July 11, 2023
4.5 ⭐️
October 29, 2023
This one was a lot. It was good, but a lot. Made me cry.
June 26, 2023
Perfection as usual. As I have a big sister who's the star of my world, this book hit close to home.
January 21, 2024
I had a visceral and physical reaction to this book. Some characters (especially Grey and Em’s parents) were WILDLY unlikable and I found myself getting genuinely angry whilst reading, anger that I carried with me between reading stints and that I had to express to my partner at times. I also seriously cried at this book and it allowed me to feel truly vindicated in my feelings and how I have been processing my own grief over the last year. I am glad I read her and I believe I may have processed the story differently if I had read it a few months ago or even further into my own grief journey but how angry Grey made me and how certain statements really triggered me I don’t think I could give more than 3 stars.
August 30, 2023
Mooi, rauw, real!
Wel ook wat saai soms omdat t erg bleef hangen maarja je kan er ook niet doorheen rushen, grief takes time.
Wel ook wat saai soms omdat t erg bleef hangen maarja je kan er ook niet doorheen rushen, grief takes time.
June 17, 2023
{50/2023} 4/5🌟 YA Fiction | 372 pages
What’s my biggest fear?
Losing someone I love. As a person in faith, we should believe that death is inevitable and it is an accord with the will of God. However, at times, it becomes such a taboo matter for me to talk about because I can’t imagine myself being in the situation.
Emmy, had lost her superstar elder sister, Lizzie Beck to suicide. All this while, the life centre of their family had always been around Beth, Lizzie’s name when she was at home. All of a sudden, everything was taken away from them.
This is a story of grief. The days after Beth left the world. A story of how everyone was coping with the death of their loved one. We could see most of it expressed through Emmy. Emmy went through all the stages of grief - having denial the most. She thought nobody felt the way she was. She thought nobody would be able to understand her feelings. She thought nobody understood what Beth went through - the reason she committed suicide. Emmy pushed everyone - her boyfriend, her bestfriends, her parents - away. I think it was a clever move for the author to portray Emmy the way she reacted, and we would most probably felt angry at Emmy, I was too, for being such a difficult person, because only then we know how certain people deal with grief, especially the ones at Emmy’s age.
However, a secret concerning Beth made Emmy realised that she was wrong all this while. How would Emmy rectify what had been damaged?
I love the delivery of the story. It reminds me of Blue by Luna Orchid, where expressions and feelings of Emmy are portrayed through its font arrangement -font size, typefaces, spacing, spacing between letters - and I think it’s so creative. The author also involves special typefaces, images and graphics whenever there are newspaper clippings, twitter messages, chats, and others. The readers can be fully immersed and involved and it is such a game-changer for the eyes as we are so used to the typical type-setting in a novel.
The story teaches us how grief is not something that could disappear in a snap of fingers. Some take years, and some don’t end. It’s all more about the process of grieving. How we manage ourselves and how we should not be pushing people who are trying to reach us away but at the same time telling them we need space. It will also be good to share our grief with other people whom we trust and not keeping them inside. Most importantly, we are still alive and it is not wrong for us to focus on ourselves.
The story is also an apt reminder especially to our young ones that the glamour and popular world comes with a price and there are always more negative sides than the positives. Also, how social medias can be such a miscontrued platform. It is also a good lesson and reminder for everyone across ages that mental health awareness is a serious matter.
.
Thank you #pansing for this review copy in exchange of an honest review.
#justreaddontbawang #bookmehnia #JuneReads #JuneTBRs #bookstagrammalaysia #bookstagrammy #malaysiamembaca #bookstagrammer #bookgram #bibliophile #bibliophilemy #bookish #bookaddict #bookaesthetic #bookish #readersofinstagram #goodreads #bookrecommendations #bookreview #bookworm #heyjune #wherethelightgoes #sarahbarnard
What’s my biggest fear?
Losing someone I love. As a person in faith, we should believe that death is inevitable and it is an accord with the will of God. However, at times, it becomes such a taboo matter for me to talk about because I can’t imagine myself being in the situation.
Emmy, had lost her superstar elder sister, Lizzie Beck to suicide. All this while, the life centre of their family had always been around Beth, Lizzie’s name when she was at home. All of a sudden, everything was taken away from them.
This is a story of grief. The days after Beth left the world. A story of how everyone was coping with the death of their loved one. We could see most of it expressed through Emmy. Emmy went through all the stages of grief - having denial the most. She thought nobody felt the way she was. She thought nobody would be able to understand her feelings. She thought nobody understood what Beth went through - the reason she committed suicide. Emmy pushed everyone - her boyfriend, her bestfriends, her parents - away. I think it was a clever move for the author to portray Emmy the way she reacted, and we would most probably felt angry at Emmy, I was too, for being such a difficult person, because only then we know how certain people deal with grief, especially the ones at Emmy’s age.
However, a secret concerning Beth made Emmy realised that she was wrong all this while. How would Emmy rectify what had been damaged?
I love the delivery of the story. It reminds me of Blue by Luna Orchid, where expressions and feelings of Emmy are portrayed through its font arrangement -font size, typefaces, spacing, spacing between letters - and I think it’s so creative. The author also involves special typefaces, images and graphics whenever there are newspaper clippings, twitter messages, chats, and others. The readers can be fully immersed and involved and it is such a game-changer for the eyes as we are so used to the typical type-setting in a novel.
The story teaches us how grief is not something that could disappear in a snap of fingers. Some take years, and some don’t end. It’s all more about the process of grieving. How we manage ourselves and how we should not be pushing people who are trying to reach us away but at the same time telling them we need space. It will also be good to share our grief with other people whom we trust and not keeping them inside. Most importantly, we are still alive and it is not wrong for us to focus on ourselves.
The story is also an apt reminder especially to our young ones that the glamour and popular world comes with a price and there are always more negative sides than the positives. Also, how social medias can be such a miscontrued platform. It is also a good lesson and reminder for everyone across ages that mental health awareness is a serious matter.
.
Thank you #pansing for this review copy in exchange of an honest review.
#justreaddontbawang #bookmehnia #JuneReads #JuneTBRs #bookstagrammalaysia #bookstagrammy #malaysiamembaca #bookstagrammer #bookgram #bibliophile #bibliophilemy #bookish #bookaddict #bookaesthetic #bookish #readersofinstagram #goodreads #bookrecommendations #bookreview #bookworm #heyjune #wherethelightgoes #sarahbarnard
December 4, 2023
Have you ever thought about how you only truly know one version of a person? How you will never know your best friend like others know her? How you will never see your mother the way your little brother sees her? How you will only know the things about your grandma she wants you to know, but not the ones her best friend in high school knew about her, a memory long forgotten, buried beneath all the stress of becoming an adult?
Trigger warning: mentions of suicide.
In Where the Light Goes we follow Emmy, Em, Embop on her very own journey of grieving her older sister Beth. Beth the superstar. Beth the druggie. Beth the scandalous one. Beth, the singer, who suffered from all the fame and was too depressed to see any way of her life ever becoming better and decided to take her own life, leaving behind her younger sister.
This is a story you don't read. You fully experience it. The sadness, anger and frustrations that the protagonist feels, you feel too. Not only through the writing, which was exceptionally, but also through the formatting. The way the font and spacing was used made this book feel lively, the Emmy's emotions felt more real and closer to your heart. If her thoughts were jumbled, so was the text. Words littered all over the page, a single big word taking up all the space or tweets that Emmy reads, all these things made this read an experience I believe I will never have again when reading another book.
Many important topics were touched in this book and each one of them was handled with so much care, I just know that the author has spent a lot of time dedicated to researching and informing herself. On the one hand there is obviously grief and the many different ways people will deal with the traumatic loss of a sister, daughter, friend. Then there's how fame can ruin people, how cruel the music industry is and how hate and rumors can ruin a person. I believe this is especially important right now with social media on an all time high, when it's so easy for people to spread hate in the comforts of anonymity.
To me however, the most important and impactful message is that we will never fully know anyone. We will only see parts of all the people in our life, taking these pieces and gluing them together, creating our very own version of them. Someone else might know a different version of them, a better one, a more complex one, simply another one. But that doesn't't mean that the version we know of a person is any less real than any of the other ones. And that's okay because isn't that what makes each and every one of us so unique?
Trigger warning: mentions of suicide.
In Where the Light Goes we follow Emmy, Em, Embop on her very own journey of grieving her older sister Beth. Beth the superstar. Beth the druggie. Beth the scandalous one. Beth, the singer, who suffered from all the fame and was too depressed to see any way of her life ever becoming better and decided to take her own life, leaving behind her younger sister.
This is a story you don't read. You fully experience it. The sadness, anger and frustrations that the protagonist feels, you feel too. Not only through the writing, which was exceptionally, but also through the formatting. The way the font and spacing was used made this book feel lively, the Emmy's emotions felt more real and closer to your heart. If her thoughts were jumbled, so was the text. Words littered all over the page, a single big word taking up all the space or tweets that Emmy reads, all these things made this read an experience I believe I will never have again when reading another book.
Many important topics were touched in this book and each one of them was handled with so much care, I just know that the author has spent a lot of time dedicated to researching and informing herself. On the one hand there is obviously grief and the many different ways people will deal with the traumatic loss of a sister, daughter, friend. Then there's how fame can ruin people, how cruel the music industry is and how hate and rumors can ruin a person. I believe this is especially important right now with social media on an all time high, when it's so easy for people to spread hate in the comforts of anonymity.
To me however, the most important and impactful message is that we will never fully know anyone. We will only see parts of all the people in our life, taking these pieces and gluing them together, creating our very own version of them. Someone else might know a different version of them, a better one, a more complex one, simply another one. But that doesn't't mean that the version we know of a person is any less real than any of the other ones. And that's okay because isn't that what makes each and every one of us so unique?
November 11, 2024
3 stars.
(Content warnings: . Nothing in this review).
This was a game of two halves, for me.
Half one seemed to drag. Emmy herself describes it as a period of 'relentless grief', which I'm sure is real, lived experience for many, but I can't pretend that it made for interesting reading. By contrast, I found it repetitive and tiresome. It didn't feel nuanced or unique enough to warrant the time it was given - it wasn't individual or tied to Emmy's character - it was just teenage girl feeling numb and sad, and then raging at everyone.
I also didn't love the fragmented writing in this section. It was just a bit cliché, if I'm honest, and I don't think it added much to the readers' ability to understand how Emmy was thinking or feeling.
On the other hand, the second half gave me so much more of a story. The characters and their particular circumstances suddenly had so much more influence and relevance. The fact of Beth's fame and music became of real importance, and the other people in her life are granted some attention.
In addition, Emmy's character begins to take strides of development. That's not to say her earlier experience was invalid, but it was just a lot more interesting to reach a phase which didn't feel so static. Her emotions here were more confused, perhaps, but I found them to be more sympathetic because of that, and because I could see them shifting because things around her were actually happening.
Similarly, I liked seeing more light shed on her parents' characters, and the other figures that were near absent from the first half.
It's worth mentioning that I liked the role of Emmy's friends throughout the book, and their input felt real and welcome in line with Emmy's state at any given time.
So a bit of a mixed bag, this one. But it has me interested to see what else Barnard can offer.
(Content warnings: . Nothing in this review).
This was a game of two halves, for me.
Half one seemed to drag. Emmy herself describes it as a period of 'relentless grief', which I'm sure is real, lived experience for many, but I can't pretend that it made for interesting reading. By contrast, I found it repetitive and tiresome. It didn't feel nuanced or unique enough to warrant the time it was given - it wasn't individual or tied to Emmy's character - it was just teenage girl feeling numb and sad, and then raging at everyone.
I also didn't love the fragmented writing in this section. It was just a bit cliché, if I'm honest, and I don't think it added much to the readers' ability to understand how Emmy was thinking or feeling.
On the other hand, the second half gave me so much more of a story. The characters and their particular circumstances suddenly had so much more influence and relevance. The fact of Beth's fame and music became of real importance, and the other people in her life are granted some attention.
In addition, Emmy's character begins to take strides of development. That's not to say her earlier experience was invalid, but it was just a lot more interesting to reach a phase which didn't feel so static. Her emotions here were more confused, perhaps, but I found them to be more sympathetic because of that, and because I could see them shifting because things around her were actually happening.
Similarly, I liked seeing more light shed on her parents' characters, and the other figures that were near absent from the first half.
It's worth mentioning that I liked the role of Emmy's friends throughout the book, and their input felt real and welcome in line with Emmy's state at any given time.
So a bit of a mixed bag, this one. But it has me interested to see what else Barnard can offer.
May 4, 2023
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Thank you Walker Books Australia for this book in exchange for an honest review
Where the Light Goes is one of those books that I recommend reading when you are in well balance state of mind, as the powerful message behind suicide and the impact and effect of loved ones, was hard to read. Harrowing, poignant but beautiful.
Emmy receives the news of her sister Beth passing away, as Emmy struggles to come to terms of what life is without her sister and how it even got to point that her sister felt as she had no where else to go and just give up. While Emmy begins to retrace her sister’s steps, she allows grief to encase her, causing her to push away her closest friends , make bad decisions based on fear. While the message and sadness of the book overlaps the world building and side characters, it works creatively well in this book. You find yourself caught up on the emotion and pain and yet sympathetic, which can only show how incredibly well this book is written! This heart-breaking book is raw, devastating and yet beautiful.
Bookstagram
Website
Thank you Walker Books Australia for this book in exchange for an honest review
Where the Light Goes is one of those books that I recommend reading when you are in well balance state of mind, as the powerful message behind suicide and the impact and effect of loved ones, was hard to read. Harrowing, poignant but beautiful.
Emmy receives the news of her sister Beth passing away, as Emmy struggles to come to terms of what life is without her sister and how it even got to point that her sister felt as she had no where else to go and just give up. While Emmy begins to retrace her sister’s steps, she allows grief to encase her, causing her to push away her closest friends , make bad decisions based on fear. While the message and sadness of the book overlaps the world building and side characters, it works creatively well in this book. You find yourself caught up on the emotion and pain and yet sympathetic, which can only show how incredibly well this book is written! This heart-breaking book is raw, devastating and yet beautiful.
March 14, 2023
This book tackles some really hard hitting themes. It's essentially a book about grief. It's a YA book, but never undermines or patronises its audience. It's incredibly real and gave me all the feels. It shows a young girl struggling with the death of her sister. It shows her anger and her mistakes in dealing with her feelings. I haven't read a YA book like this for a long time.
The book uses multi-media to tell the story - something that makes it feel even more real.
Sara Barnard has done it again!!
The book uses multi-media to tell the story - something that makes it feel even more real.
Sara Barnard has done it again!!
July 1, 2023
I was worried that this book would destroy me - how could a book about grief in the aftermath of suicide not? And yes I cried. Right from the start (page 14, if you can believe it). But rather than destroy me, this book put me back together. Because it’s not about loss (although, of course it is). It’s about living - not only living with the loss, but also about healing, and allowing yourself to heal. It is, as all of Sara Barnard’s books are, a work of absolute stunning beauty.
December 1, 2023
tw: suicide
This took a while to get into but wow, what a powerful book! Such an intense but valuable look at teenage grief, not censoring or brushing over the messiness of it all. In this book, Emmy’s older sister has taken her own life and we read how Emmy navigates this and how her grief interacts with her parents’ grief.
Editor note: there was a music reference to the pitches in A Minor and it was wrong 😭
This took a while to get into but wow, what a powerful book! Such an intense but valuable look at teenage grief, not censoring or brushing over the messiness of it all. In this book, Emmy’s older sister has taken her own life and we read how Emmy navigates this and how her grief interacts with her parents’ grief.
Editor note: there was a music reference to the pitches in A Minor and it was wrong 😭
January 31, 2024
The thing I love so much about Sara Barnard's writing is that she doesn't just make room for the complexities, mess and full beauty of characters, their relationships, and life in general, but makes it the main focus of her stories. Doesn't always make for a "fun" read, but it'll definitely make you feel!
Trigger/content warnings:
• suicide
• grief
• drug abuse
• alcohol abuse
Trigger/content warnings:
• suicide
• grief
• drug abuse
• alcohol abuse
February 14, 2023
I don't have a shelf for suicide. But letting you know this story revolves around that. It's dealt with in a realistic way - people are messy, complicated and show different sides of themselves to different people.
Emmy's grief journey is harrowing but also hopeful.
Emmy's grief journey is harrowing but also hopeful.
August 14, 2023
*4.5
Beautiful depiction of grief
Beautiful depiction of grief
January 16, 2024
An absolutely beautifully written book that made me cry but also reminded me that it’s okay that I still have feelings of grief
May 5, 2024
It’s a great book but very sad, I probably cried like 5 times. There’s a few things I wish happened at the end that didn’t but otherwise I really enjoyed it…
October 3, 2024
‼️TW‼️ Trauer nach einem Suizid
Große Empfehlung meinerseits!!! Wenn ich könnte würde ich mehr als 5 Sterne geben.
Das Thema wird auf so eine tolle Art beschrieben, es geht einem richtig nah aber es ist trotzdem nicht bedrückend.
One of my favorites this year!!
Große Empfehlung meinerseits!!! Wenn ich könnte würde ich mehr als 5 Sterne geben.
Das Thema wird auf so eine tolle Art beschrieben, es geht einem richtig nah aber es ist trotzdem nicht bedrückend.
One of my favorites this year!!
November 3, 2024
Grief was allowed to be ugly, and hope was allowed to be careful. This book was beautiful, visually and storywise, all the way through.
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