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Strained Relations: Help for Struggling Parents of Troubled Teens
Every day, thousands of parents face the fear and frustration that comes from dealing with a troubled teen. Good, loving parents facing the hardest questions of their lives... Is their child experiencing normal teen-age rebellion? Are the temper-tantrums and challenges at school a sign of bigger problems? How do they stop their child's downward spiral? What are they supposed to do next? Marcia Stein offers an array of powerful and comforting insights from coaches, therapists, experts and parents who have been there. Strained Relations offers tools and resources for struggling parents of troubled teens. Find answers and draw strength from professionals on the front lines and stories from the mothers and fathers who got through it. Marcia was inspired to write Strained Relations after living through a challenging time with her own son.
162 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 15, 2009
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
November 20, 2018
I should note that I am not the target audience for the book.
I'm in the mental health field so I was curious to read this book and see how this topic was presented. Unfortunately, I think the first half of the book shows a shallow understanding of some of the disorders teens can present with. The book has trouble differentiating between normal teenage rebellion, a moderate yet serious disorder such as ADHD, and a severe disorder like Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). For those who don't know, ODD is the childhood version of Antisocial Personality Disorder, which is the closest diagnosis we have to what is commonly known as sociopathy.
The first half of the book is stories from parents with difficult teens. Other than creating a sense of community by letting other parents know that what they are experiencing is happening to many families, the stories felt flat. The biggest issue was in one of the more difficult stories where the parent says they did everything for their child and they still ended up being distant and defiant. Not once did this parent look at themselves and I'd wonder what the story from their child's point of view would look like. Another story involved a difficult child who had different, but healthy interests compared to his family. The parents took forever to embrace these differences and instead spent so much time trying to conform the child to the family's interests. I saw lots of issues with parents that were barely addressed.
The expert opinions in the second half of the book were well done, probably because they are the experts. Several pointed out that this is a family issue, not an individual one and that the parents need to examine their own trauma and issues and see what effect they are having on their children. That wouldn't solve all the problems, but it would stop the parents from pointing finger and blaming their child for everything.
Overall I'm not too sure it is a helpful book except maybe as a way to see that you are not alone if you have a troubled teen. Otherwise it is too broad in its scope, especially in regards to diagnoses.
I'm in the mental health field so I was curious to read this book and see how this topic was presented. Unfortunately, I think the first half of the book shows a shallow understanding of some of the disorders teens can present with. The book has trouble differentiating between normal teenage rebellion, a moderate yet serious disorder such as ADHD, and a severe disorder like Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). For those who don't know, ODD is the childhood version of Antisocial Personality Disorder, which is the closest diagnosis we have to what is commonly known as sociopathy.
The first half of the book is stories from parents with difficult teens. Other than creating a sense of community by letting other parents know that what they are experiencing is happening to many families, the stories felt flat. The biggest issue was in one of the more difficult stories where the parent says they did everything for their child and they still ended up being distant and defiant. Not once did this parent look at themselves and I'd wonder what the story from their child's point of view would look like. Another story involved a difficult child who had different, but healthy interests compared to his family. The parents took forever to embrace these differences and instead spent so much time trying to conform the child to the family's interests. I saw lots of issues with parents that were barely addressed.
The expert opinions in the second half of the book were well done, probably because they are the experts. Several pointed out that this is a family issue, not an individual one and that the parents need to examine their own trauma and issues and see what effect they are having on their children. That wouldn't solve all the problems, but it would stop the parents from pointing finger and blaming their child for everything.
Overall I'm not too sure it is a helpful book except maybe as a way to see that you are not alone if you have a troubled teen. Otherwise it is too broad in its scope, especially in regards to diagnoses.
Displaying 1 of 1 review