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Goodbye Note
I’m living the dream, playing summer festivals to massive crowds.
My band is on fire, my best friend by my side and we’re on top of the world.
I fell for him in the heat of the summer. I fell for the stars in his eyes.
The way he said my name. I’ll never love anyone the same.
But our story ended when it was just beginning.
Fame gave me more than I could ever imagine, but I’ll forever suffer the cost.
The summer of love and loss would forever be a stain on my heart.
I used to think life didn’t come with second chances, until we’re reunited for a world tour as dual headliners.
Only he thinks I’m happily married, when in reality, my life is crumbling.
My team won’t let me announce my divorce, leaving him to believe I’m off limits.
We gave up on forever and I’d give anything for another shot at love.
My band is on fire, my best friend by my side and we’re on top of the world.
I fell for him in the heat of the summer. I fell for the stars in his eyes.
The way he said my name. I’ll never love anyone the same.
But our story ended when it was just beginning.
Fame gave me more than I could ever imagine, but I’ll forever suffer the cost.
The summer of love and loss would forever be a stain on my heart.
I used to think life didn’t come with second chances, until we’re reunited for a world tour as dual headliners.
Only he thinks I’m happily married, when in reality, my life is crumbling.
My team won’t let me announce my divorce, leaving him to believe I’m off limits.
We gave up on forever and I’d give anything for another shot at love.
538 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 5, 2024
252 people are currently reading
683 people want to read
About the author
J.R. Gray
59 books1,268 followersWhen not staying up all night writing, J.R. Gray can be found at the gym where it's half assumed he is a permanent resident to fulfill his self-inflicted masochism. A dominant and a pilot, Gray finds it hard to be in the passenger seat of any car. He frequently interrupts real life, including normal sleep patterns and conversations, to jot down notes or plot bunnies. Commas are the bane of his existence even though it's been fully acknowledged they are necessary, they continue to baffle and bewilder. If Gray wasn't writing…well, that's not possible. The buildup of untold stories would haunt Gray into an early grave, insanity or both. The idea of haunting has always appealed to him. J.R. Gray is genderqueer and prefers he/him pronouns.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 139 reviews
May 10, 2025
I'm so mad!
Angst doesn't mean ruin the whole book!!
The book started so strong as a friend to lovers and then the author just decided it was going to be a horribly done second chance all of a sudden at 75%.
I want to give 1 star but am at least giving credit for the first 3/4 of the book before the author decided to destroy it.
This puts J.R. on my shit list. Not sure I'm ever reading another book from them.
!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!
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A 17 year time jump?? Are you shit fucking me!?
And at 70%!! Ridiculous!
Then to find out Varian married his rapist!! Why???
Arik was even at their wedding! Just why why why?
Varian and Arik had such a good thing. Why did it have to turn into this horrible second chance shit!
Nothing could make up for the time they lost together and the hurt that was caused!
Angst doesn't mean ruin the whole book!!
The book started so strong as a friend to lovers and then the author just decided it was going to be a horribly done second chance all of a sudden at 75%.
I want to give 1 star but am at least giving credit for the first 3/4 of the book before the author decided to destroy it.
This puts J.R. on my shit list. Not sure I'm ever reading another book from them.
!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A 17 year time jump?? Are you shit fucking me!?
And at 70%!! Ridiculous!
Then to find out Varian married his rapist!! Why???
Arik was even at their wedding! Just why why why?
Varian and Arik had such a good thing. Why did it have to turn into this horrible second chance shit!
Nothing could make up for the time they lost together and the hurt that was caused!
June 3, 2024
An absolutely beautiful love story. To say I loved this book would be an understatement. I knew from the first chapter that it was going to be good, but I didn’t realize how much I was going to love it. Arik and Varian are everything, the love they have for each other was so pure and beautiful. These two had a hard road to their HEA, and it was heartbreaking at times reading it, but so worth it.
June 24, 2024
𝗣𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝘀 𝗺𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗵𝗼𝘄, 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱... 🤔
❌ ❌ ❌ ❌ ❌ ❌ ❌ ❌ ❌
NOPE, NO – sorry, this did NOT work for me!!
And I guess I’m even more disappointed cos this had an awesome start. Everything was going along so beautifully. Varian and Arik had a love story that was practically playing out like poetry. The potential for something truly epic was right there.
And then, they got separated and it all went downhill for me from there.
So, being rockstars, trying to find time for each other becomes extremely challenging and Arik was willing to give it all up just that he could be with Varian.
And not wanting Arik to regret that decision, Varian decides to break things off with him.
MC’s end up separated for 17 years - Arik spends most of that time hating Varian for hurting him and Varian end up marrying a woman... 🤨
How does that happen you ask??
Well, during this separation, on one night when Varian was drunk off his mind, he ends up sleeping with a woman (Lindsay) and getting her pregnant. He was so black-out drunk in fact that he doesn’t even remember sleeping with her...
So, sexual assault? YES!
Abso-fucking-lutely YES.... 😡🤬
And, thankfully there is a warning for SA.
BUT – he cannot do anything about it cos there is a child now and he doesn’t want anything bad affecting the kid. He doesn’t want the kid growing up knowing she has a rapist for a mother. AND “Lindsay is a good mother” 🙄
So, instead of just co-parenting, Varian decides to go even more absurd and marry the woman!
And why?? As he explains to Arik after meeting up 17 years later – cos he was ‘doing the right thing’ and he felt he didn’t deserve happiness anyway after the way he hurt Arik.
So, after 17 years, Varian NOW tells Arik that he and Lindsay are in the midst of getting a divorce and Arik forgives him and they live happily ever after.
Oh, wait no, there’s more – they now HAVE to find a house near Lindsays cos the kid needs to be near her mother … 😊
❌ ❌ ❌ ❌ ❌ ❌ ❌ ❌ ❌
NOPE, NO – sorry, this did NOT work for me!!
And I guess I’m even more disappointed cos this had an awesome start. Everything was going along so beautifully. Varian and Arik had a love story that was practically playing out like poetry. The potential for something truly epic was right there.
And then, they got separated and it all went downhill for me from there.
So, being rockstars, trying to find time for each other becomes extremely challenging and Arik was willing to give it all up just that he could be with Varian.
And not wanting Arik to regret that decision, Varian decides to break things off with him.
MC’s end up separated for 17 years - Arik spends most of that time hating Varian for hurting him and Varian end up marrying a woman... 🤨
How does that happen you ask??
Well, during this separation, on one night when Varian was drunk off his mind, he ends up sleeping with a woman (Lindsay) and getting her pregnant. He was so black-out drunk in fact that he doesn’t even remember sleeping with her...
So, sexual assault? YES!
Abso-fucking-lutely YES.... 😡🤬
And, thankfully there is a warning for SA.
BUT – he cannot do anything about it cos there is a child now and he doesn’t want anything bad affecting the kid. He doesn’t want the kid growing up knowing she has a rapist for a mother. AND “Lindsay is a good mother” 🙄
So, instead of just co-parenting, Varian decides to go even more absurd and marry the woman!
And why?? As he explains to Arik after meeting up 17 years later – cos he was ‘doing the right thing’ and he felt he didn’t deserve happiness anyway after the way he hurt Arik.
So, after 17 years, Varian NOW tells Arik that he and Lindsay are in the midst of getting a divorce and Arik forgives him and they live happily ever after.
Oh, wait no, there’s more – they now HAVE to find a house near Lindsays cos the kid needs to be near her mother … 😊
June 5, 2024
This will rip your heart out and then proceed to attempt to put it back together. There are so many ups and downs in this book. Just when you think you have it figured out, there is a twist. Arik and Varian will hold a special place in your heart, and you won't want to let them go. This book spans over 2 decades and it does not miss a beat (pun intended).
July 1, 2024
This authors storylines are always a little confusing; with timelines and character descriptions being the main thing they struggle to be consistent with and this book was no different, it had me wanting to break out the red pen pretty early on, which is a shame as it meant I never felt fully immersed in this story and rockstar romances are my kryptonite, plus these 2 characters were very sweet if not a little naive, but eventually I admitted defeat at 60%.
I added the list of inconsistencies I was tracking below - please someone tell me what era the Summer period was in!
What era was the Summer set in?
With no year provided I started reading this as if it was set in the present day. But the following were all mentioned during the Summer Warped Tour chapter
❓Early 90s: mention of emailing by use of a laptop to keep in contact and when they did use a phone it was a Nokia.
❓2015/2016: mention of TikTok, Discord and chat rooms being dated.
❓Early 2000s: the terms Demi and Gray were used and Ryan Reynolds as being someone everyone is attracted to.
❓ 2021: Ser says he put an Airdrop on Arik to keep track of him.
❓2010: The TV at the end of the bunk has now become an iPad.
How good a musician is Arik?
People call him a musical savant, but Ser is referenced multiple times as being the better singer and whilst watching him play Varian notes Arik as not being the best musician and how it’s obvious he’s a self taught guitarist.
How famous are Dopamine Fiend?
We’re told DF are headlining the Warped tour, whilst this does have multiple stages unless you’re referencing the stage it’s assumed headlining means the main stage. However, when Arik drives to see Varian for their second meeting DF are a support act in a venue small enough to spot Arik in the crowd and are still loading and packing up their own equipment. Now, I’ve watched support bands in 1000 seat venues have roadies so this seems unbelievable. Also, let’s not forget they’re nepo babies so it stands to reason they’d have more of a leg up in the music industry.
Drug use
Varian says he only smokes weed as he doesn’t want to end up like, or have his grandparents thinking he’ll end up like his drug addicted parents. Skip to halfway through the book and he’s doing Molly and confirming to Arik that it’s not the first time he’s done hard drugs. Arik makes no mention of his previous comment and also takes the drugs.
I added the list of inconsistencies I was tracking below - please someone tell me what era the Summer period was in!
What era was the Summer set in?
With no year provided I started reading this as if it was set in the present day. But the following were all mentioned during the Summer Warped Tour chapter
❓Early 90s: mention of emailing by use of a laptop to keep in contact and when they did use a phone it was a Nokia.
❓2015/2016: mention of TikTok, Discord and chat rooms being dated.
❓Early 2000s: the terms Demi and Gray were used and Ryan Reynolds as being someone everyone is attracted to.
❓ 2021: Ser says he put an Airdrop on Arik to keep track of him.
❓2010: The TV at the end of the bunk has now become an iPad.
How good a musician is Arik?
People call him a musical savant, but Ser is referenced multiple times as being the better singer and whilst watching him play Varian notes Arik as not being the best musician and how it’s obvious he’s a self taught guitarist.
How famous are Dopamine Fiend?
We’re told DF are headlining the Warped tour, whilst this does have multiple stages unless you’re referencing the stage it’s assumed headlining means the main stage. However, when Arik drives to see Varian for their second meeting DF are a support act in a venue small enough to spot Arik in the crowd and are still loading and packing up their own equipment. Now, I’ve watched support bands in 1000 seat venues have roadies so this seems unbelievable. Also, let’s not forget they’re nepo babies so it stands to reason they’d have more of a leg up in the music industry.
Drug use
Varian says he only smokes weed as he doesn’t want to end up like, or have his grandparents thinking he’ll end up like his drug addicted parents. Skip to halfway through the book and he’s doing Molly and confirming to Arik that it’s not the first time he’s done hard drugs. Arik makes no mention of his previous comment and also takes the drugs.
June 4, 2024
Goodbye Note is a friends to lovers, rockstar romance about Arik and Varian.
Arik's band, Second Star, is on the rise and celebrating their first album. At the release party, Arik was not expecting to meet Varian, a rock star from the famous band Dopamine-Fiend. They instantly have a connection and spend the evening opening up to each other and sharing their secrets. When both their bands are invited to play Warped Tour, we get to see Arik and Varian develop a deep friendship, leading to so much more.
Arik and Varian's love story spans over two decades. Their emotional story was filled with hurt, comfort, forgiveness, second chances and lots of love. There were ups and downs that included moments of joy, sadness, frustration, angst and heat. I loved how some of the story was told through the meaningful songs lyrics written by Arik. This was a book I didn't want to put down, and I could not wait to see how it was all going to play out. My heart broke but leave it to J.R. Gray to put it back together and make it all worth it in the end.
Goodbye Note is an incredible book. Arik and Varian's love story was beautifully written. I am a big fan of rockstar romances, and this one is definitely at the top of my favorites.
Please note there are sensitive subjects such as mental illness, so make sure to read the trigger warnings.
I received an advanced copy of this book, and this is my honest review.
Arik's band, Second Star, is on the rise and celebrating their first album. At the release party, Arik was not expecting to meet Varian, a rock star from the famous band Dopamine-Fiend. They instantly have a connection and spend the evening opening up to each other and sharing their secrets. When both their bands are invited to play Warped Tour, we get to see Arik and Varian develop a deep friendship, leading to so much more.
Arik and Varian's love story spans over two decades. Their emotional story was filled with hurt, comfort, forgiveness, second chances and lots of love. There were ups and downs that included moments of joy, sadness, frustration, angst and heat. I loved how some of the story was told through the meaningful songs lyrics written by Arik. This was a book I didn't want to put down, and I could not wait to see how it was all going to play out. My heart broke but leave it to J.R. Gray to put it back together and make it all worth it in the end.
Goodbye Note is an incredible book. Arik and Varian's love story was beautifully written. I am a big fan of rockstar romances, and this one is definitely at the top of my favorites.
Please note there are sensitive subjects such as mental illness, so make sure to read the trigger warnings.
I received an advanced copy of this book, and this is my honest review.
September 2, 2024
This was on track to be a 5-star read, but it completely lost me in the second half unfortunately.
I loved Arik and Varian’s relationship in the beginning - the tension between them was unreal, and they had great chemistry as friends. I was so invested in their romance, and I loved how codependent they became on the Warped tour as well. The writing was beautiful, and they were so adorable together.
However, the book started to really drag once the big drama happened, and honestly, the trope introduced in the third act just pissed me off.
‼️MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD‼️- scroll down to skip!
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.
.
.
This book did not need to include the pregnancy trope. It really didn’t. It didn’t add anything to the story, and Nova was a very insignificant character anyway. The authors justification for Varian getting married didn’t make sense to me either, and it just ruined what could have been a really great story. Varian leaving the way he did was all the drama that was needed for their separation.
I also felt like their conflict was resolved far too easily once they were reunited - all of those years of hurt and writing breakup albums (which Arik insisted weren’t breakup albums, but they totally were), and suddenly everything is fine because Varian is separated now? They went from 0-100 so quickly in the second half, and it didn’t feel realistic to me.
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.
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✅ SPOILERS OVER ✅
Overall, this book had a strong start and a couple with fantastic chemistry, but I feel like it was wasted in the second half. The pacing was off, and some parts of the story didn’t make sense to me. Having said that, the writing was good, and I love Arik and Varian’s relationship, so that redeemed it slightly.
I loved Arik and Varian’s relationship in the beginning - the tension between them was unreal, and they had great chemistry as friends. I was so invested in their romance, and I loved how codependent they became on the Warped tour as well. The writing was beautiful, and they were so adorable together.
However, the book started to really drag once the big drama happened, and honestly, the trope introduced in the third act just pissed me off.
‼️MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD‼️- scroll down to skip!
.
.
.
.
This book did not need to include the pregnancy trope. It really didn’t. It didn’t add anything to the story, and Nova was a very insignificant character anyway. The authors justification for Varian getting married didn’t make sense to me either, and it just ruined what could have been a really great story. Varian leaving the way he did was all the drama that was needed for their separation.
I also felt like their conflict was resolved far too easily once they were reunited - all of those years of hurt and writing breakup albums (which Arik insisted weren’t breakup albums, but they totally were), and suddenly everything is fine because Varian is separated now? They went from 0-100 so quickly in the second half, and it didn’t feel realistic to me.
.
.
.
✅ SPOILERS OVER ✅
Overall, this book had a strong start and a couple with fantastic chemistry, but I feel like it was wasted in the second half. The pacing was off, and some parts of the story didn’t make sense to me. Having said that, the writing was good, and I love Arik and Varian’s relationship, so that redeemed it slightly.
June 14, 2024
The lyrics in this book 👏🏼 Loved these characters, loved the tension and emotion, loved everything about this story. All the soul mate vibes 🥹
May 27, 2024
Jr Gray is back with another rockstar romance! But this one has a totally different feel than any of his past RR books. Loved Arik & Varian's love story. Their story was spread out of many years. Their love was one for the ages. I'm sad the book is finished as I want to stay in their world longer. It's a must read. Excited for the audiobook (whenever that may be)
Gray did an amazing job writing song lyrics for this one as well. I'd love to hear them recorded!
Gray did an amazing job writing song lyrics for this one as well. I'd love to hear them recorded!
June 2, 2024
🎸 Rockstars
✨ Bi awakening
🎸 Found family
✨ Friend to lovers
Goodbye Note is the new JR Gray’s standalone about…. freaking rockstars 🤩🤩🤩
Arik is on the cusp of becoming big with his band, Second Star, and while he's at his first album launching party, he makes an interesting encounter.
Varian, member of Dopamine-Fiend band, is also known for his famous parents and has had attention on him his whole life. He’s attending Second Star’s launching party incognito, and gets Arik's attention in order to talk to him.
They hit it off right from the start and find out they’re going to perform at the same festival all summer.
That’s the start of their friendship and a summer made of music, buses, parties, drinking and smoking, more buses and forced proximity… that leads their friendship to soon become more.
Since I don't want to spoil anything, let me give you out of contexts words to describe the book : music, lyrics, online journal, ghosts, tattoos, words on skin, bus’ bunk, sunrise, goodbye note, pills, mental health, galaxies, stars, stardom, fans, speculations, dopamine, t-shirts, truths, lies, collisions….
This book had my heart from the very start. J.R. dedication at the beginning of the book warns about trusting the process until the end before hating him… but I didn't listen to him of course 😅😅 I knew something big was coming and still my heart was in shambles.
But he was right of course, trust the process, go with the flow and let the story take you to the stars.
Arik and Varian both have my heart, I don't think I could choose a favorite… so please don't make me !!! 🫣🫣
I also loved all the secondary characters, this whole “found family”, and I'm wishing upon the stars that J.R. will give us what we need in the future : every single secondary character’s story!!
I received a free copy of this book via Literally Yours and am voluntarily leaving a review.
✧˖°Instagram°˖✧
✨ Bi awakening
🎸 Found family
✨ Friend to lovers
Goodbye Note is the new JR Gray’s standalone about…. freaking rockstars 🤩🤩🤩
But with Arik, it was so much more. He felt a little more real than the rest of the world. Like he was the only one in bold while the rest of us lived in muted tones. I wanted to feel as alive as he felt all the time.
Arik is on the cusp of becoming big with his band, Second Star, and while he's at his first album launching party, he makes an interesting encounter.
Varian, member of Dopamine-Fiend band, is also known for his famous parents and has had attention on him his whole life. He’s attending Second Star’s launching party incognito, and gets Arik's attention in order to talk to him.
They hit it off right from the start and find out they’re going to perform at the same festival all summer.
That’s the start of their friendship and a summer made of music, buses, parties, drinking and smoking, more buses and forced proximity… that leads their friendship to soon become more.
“Your pain whispers familiar.”
“What is it about broken people that we recognize each other?”
“We feel like home and whole people can never understand the pain layered under our skin. It’s too hard to explain it to them. They are exhausting.”
Since I don't want to spoil anything, let me give you out of contexts words to describe the book : music, lyrics, online journal, ghosts, tattoos, words on skin, bus’ bunk, sunrise, goodbye note, pills, mental health, galaxies, stars, stardom, fans, speculations, dopamine, t-shirts, truths, lies, collisions….
This book had my heart from the very start. J.R. dedication at the beginning of the book warns about trusting the process until the end before hating him… but I didn't listen to him of course 😅😅 I knew something big was coming and still my heart was in shambles.
But he was right of course, trust the process, go with the flow and let the story take you to the stars.
“I feel like a star about to burst.” He dropped his voice and leaned in. “Don’t do that. I’d miss you.” “Your atoms wouldn’t entangle with mine?” “It’s not enough.” His eyes slid closed. “I want this summer to go on forever.”
Arik and Varian both have my heart, I don't think I could choose a favorite… so please don't make me !!! 🫣🫣
I also loved all the secondary characters, this whole “found family”, and I'm wishing upon the stars that J.R. will give us what we need in the future : every single secondary character’s story!!
I received a free copy of this book via Literally Yours and am voluntarily leaving a review.
✧˖°Instagram°˖✧
September 18, 2024
4.25⭐
3🌶️
Best friends to lovers
.Rockstar
.Forced proximity
.Hurt/comfort
.Found family
.Mental health rep
.Second chance
So much angst, I love it. And I always enjoy a star-crossed lovers romance so I can't complain. I’m not usually a fan of rockstar romances, but I ended up having an amazing time with this one. I was so invested in Arik and Varian’s story, and I needed them to get their happy ending. The fact that they had to wait years for it was brutal, but it made their connection even more beautiful.
One of the things that really stood out to me was the portrayal of touch starvation. It’s not something I see often in books, and I loved how it was handled here. Their need to be close to each other, to have that constant contact, hit me in all the right ways. The way they leaned on each other during the tour, even before they were officially together, was everything. I loved how Varian, the more experienced musician, showed Arik the ropes of life on the road, and how they supported each other through all the isolation and stress.
That said, I didn’t love the song lyrics, they felt a little too over the top, especially with all the star and ghost references. But honestly, it didn’t take away from the fact that the story was addictive. I couldn’t put it down, even though I thought it was going to hurt more than it did. I went in ready to sob my way through the end, but instead, it made me extremely frustrated at times with the management of the bands, all warm and cosy when our main characters were together, and so happy when they got their happy ending. Especially their happy ending, it felt well earned after everything they’d been through.
This was my first time reading this author, and I’m definitely planning on picking up more of his books.
3🌶️
Best friends to lovers
.Rockstar
.Forced proximity
.Hurt/comfort
.Found family
.Mental health rep
.Second chance
So much angst, I love it. And I always enjoy a star-crossed lovers romance so I can't complain. I’m not usually a fan of rockstar romances, but I ended up having an amazing time with this one. I was so invested in Arik and Varian’s story, and I needed them to get their happy ending. The fact that they had to wait years for it was brutal, but it made their connection even more beautiful.
One of the things that really stood out to me was the portrayal of touch starvation. It’s not something I see often in books, and I loved how it was handled here. Their need to be close to each other, to have that constant contact, hit me in all the right ways. The way they leaned on each other during the tour, even before they were officially together, was everything. I loved how Varian, the more experienced musician, showed Arik the ropes of life on the road, and how they supported each other through all the isolation and stress.
That said, I didn’t love the song lyrics, they felt a little too over the top, especially with all the star and ghost references. But honestly, it didn’t take away from the fact that the story was addictive. I couldn’t put it down, even though I thought it was going to hurt more than it did. I went in ready to sob my way through the end, but instead, it made me extremely frustrated at times with the management of the bands, all warm and cosy when our main characters were together, and so happy when they got their happy ending. Especially their happy ending, it felt well earned after everything they’d been through.
This was my first time reading this author, and I’m definitely planning on picking up more of his books.
June 21, 2024
4.25 ⭐️
My criticisms: The writing felt stilted to start, but I was pretty quickly drawn into the characters and their storyline. Pacing felt a little off to me with so much insight and focus on the "Summer" season of the book. It was harder to understand the characters and the situation in the Fall & Winter portions, but that could also convey the emotional distance between the 2 MCs. I was also confused about the time period of the "Summer" season since it read as early 2000s (bands were on the Warped tour), but airtags were referenced, and I can assure you as an oldy moldy- there were no airtags in the early 2000s. lol
What I loved: It was really fun to have a better understanding of what it would be like to be on the festival circuit early in your music career. Above all, I was so drawn to the 2 MCs that I know I'll be thinking about them for a long time to come. They are definitely going to stick with me.
My criticisms: The writing felt stilted to start, but I was pretty quickly drawn into the characters and their storyline. Pacing felt a little off to me with so much insight and focus on the "Summer" season of the book. It was harder to understand the characters and the situation in the Fall & Winter portions, but that could also convey the emotional distance between the 2 MCs. I was also confused about the time period of the "Summer" season since it read as early 2000s (bands were on the Warped tour), but airtags were referenced, and I can assure you as an oldy moldy- there were no airtags in the early 2000s. lol
What I loved: It was really fun to have a better understanding of what it would be like to be on the festival circuit early in your music career. Above all, I was so drawn to the 2 MCs that I know I'll be thinking about them for a long time to come. They are definitely going to stick with me.
July 27, 2024
This book!! I was lucky to receive an ARC from Saxon James’ MOAR program and I went in commpletly blind. JR Grey is a new author to me and I will definitely be back for more of his writing.
I’ll preface this review by saying that I don’t normally seek out rockstar romances but I’m a sucker for friends to lovers.
This book was an absolutely beautiful friends to lovers with the most EPIC SLOW BURN! This book was painful in all the ways I love, the angst and the slow burn hurt, and the bi-awakening was *chef’s kiss.
My favourite thing about this book was Arik being a touch-starved MMC who sought-out physical intimacy and cuddling from his best friend Varian. The way the cuddling, sharing a bed and non-sexual touching eventually led to ‘friends can kiss, right?’ Was incredible.
I wish I could read this book again for the first time.
I’ll preface this review by saying that I don’t normally seek out rockstar romances but I’m a sucker for friends to lovers.
This book was an absolutely beautiful friends to lovers with the most EPIC SLOW BURN! This book was painful in all the ways I love, the angst and the slow burn hurt, and the bi-awakening was *chef’s kiss.
My favourite thing about this book was Arik being a touch-starved MMC who sought-out physical intimacy and cuddling from his best friend Varian. The way the cuddling, sharing a bed and non-sexual touching eventually led to ‘friends can kiss, right?’ Was incredible.
I wish I could read this book again for the first time.
June 8, 2024
Goodbye Note - a perfectly titled book for this intriguing emotional story.
This is my first book by J.R. and I must say it definitely won't be me last. I am huge fan of rockstar romances but the blurb for this one truly grabbed my attention. But what I got out of this book was so much more, and for that, it has me wanting to try other books by this author.
Goodbye Note is not only a rockstar romance, but it's a story riddled with trauma, growth, and discovering what love really is. Arik and Varian form a friendship over one summer that unexpectedly becomes more. But as they both know, their lifestyle isn't always easy, when you're both living in that world.
J.R. stated at the beginning in regards trusting the process and staying through to the end and I cannot urge readers enough to do that. This book is a rollercoaster of emotions, but worth every single one. It is told from both their POV's and that is so needed with this story because both Arik and Varian are deeply layered souls.
This story is told in two parts. The first part is the majority of the story and where you really get to understand both Arik and Varian, not only as artists, but as individuals. The second part is roughly two decades later and just as emotional, but this is where my only problem with the book lies - I wanted more here. I wanted more of what happened in that large span of time to get them to there and then more of where they were.
I loved the overall story. The secondary characters added a whole other level to this story and truly rounded out everything so well. The writing is impeccable, and I truly understood both Arik and Varian and their decisions, good or bad.
Definitely a highly recommended read. And J.R., you sir, just earned yourself another fan.
This is my first book by J.R. and I must say it definitely won't be me last. I am huge fan of rockstar romances but the blurb for this one truly grabbed my attention. But what I got out of this book was so much more, and for that, it has me wanting to try other books by this author.
Goodbye Note is not only a rockstar romance, but it's a story riddled with trauma, growth, and discovering what love really is. Arik and Varian form a friendship over one summer that unexpectedly becomes more. But as they both know, their lifestyle isn't always easy, when you're both living in that world.
J.R. stated at the beginning in regards trusting the process and staying through to the end and I cannot urge readers enough to do that. This book is a rollercoaster of emotions, but worth every single one. It is told from both their POV's and that is so needed with this story because both Arik and Varian are deeply layered souls.
This story is told in two parts. The first part is the majority of the story and where you really get to understand both Arik and Varian, not only as artists, but as individuals. The second part is roughly two decades later and just as emotional, but this is where my only problem with the book lies - I wanted more here. I wanted more of what happened in that large span of time to get them to there and then more of where they were.
I loved the overall story. The secondary characters added a whole other level to this story and truly rounded out everything so well. The writing is impeccable, and I truly understood both Arik and Varian and their decisions, good or bad.
Definitely a highly recommended read. And J.R., you sir, just earned yourself another fan.
August 18, 2025
I went into this book blind. All I knew was it was a Rock Star romance. I am so glad I did. I read the blurb after I finished and, IMO, it did not do the book justice lol This book is so much more than a second chance romance. The second chance part kinda felt like an after thought when they quickly tied everything together in the last 100 pages when the first 400 pages was ALLL about their summer romance and falling in love. This book is beautifully written with so much emotion portrayed through JR Gray's writing. I was in tears! The love between Varien and Arik was so beautiful, raw, and real. I just can't get enough.
❤Friends to Lovers
❤Rock Star Romance
❤Secret Relationship
❤Bisexual Awakening
❤Mental Health Rep
❤Second Chance Romance
❤Friends to Lovers
❤Rock Star Romance
❤Secret Relationship
❤Bisexual Awakening
❤Mental Health Rep
❤Second Chance Romance
June 11, 2024
I stayed up way too late last night just to finish this book. I don't think I have recovered. Not from lack of sleep, but from my heart and this story!! It is so good. This is my first book by J. R. Grey.
Arik and Varian will forever be one of my favorite couples. This is a rock star romance, and it sucks you in from the very beginning. Born into the world of rock stars, Varian is a child of 2 star struck famous parents, both who did a great job not being good parents. Arik comes from a hard working family of lawyers, and the expectation is for him to be the same.
Both young men hit high with their bands, and are rocketing for super stardom. They also have something brewing between them, and friendship turns into much, much more.
The book takes you on beautiful highs and lows. Mental health, needing one another, honesty, love. It all comes with their relationship. Fast forward 17 years and we learn what happened with them over time. I was not ready for the twists and turns. I knew something was coming. I waited anxiously. Arik's lyrics/journal told a story.
My heart was not ready.
It's a beautiful, hard fought HEA. The way the book is written is smooth and honest. The communication in the beginning of the relationship (the get to know you) of Varian and Arik is lovely. Fun and full of banter with intimacy sprinkled throughout. The story takes you on a ride. I went from smiling to frowning to smiling to having my heart ripped out to "what?!" to crying to aching and to smiling again. It's a wonderful book and I think it will stick with me for a long time.
**Check TWs and TRUST THE PROCESS
Arik and Varian will forever be one of my favorite couples. This is a rock star romance, and it sucks you in from the very beginning. Born into the world of rock stars, Varian is a child of 2 star struck famous parents, both who did a great job not being good parents. Arik comes from a hard working family of lawyers, and the expectation is for him to be the same.
Both young men hit high with their bands, and are rocketing for super stardom. They also have something brewing between them, and friendship turns into much, much more.
The book takes you on beautiful highs and lows. Mental health, needing one another, honesty, love. It all comes with their relationship. Fast forward 17 years and we learn what happened with them over time. I was not ready for the twists and turns. I knew something was coming. I waited anxiously. Arik's lyrics/journal told a story.
My heart was not ready.
It's a beautiful, hard fought HEA. The way the book is written is smooth and honest. The communication in the beginning of the relationship (the get to know you) of Varian and Arik is lovely. Fun and full of banter with intimacy sprinkled throughout. The story takes you on a ride. I went from smiling to frowning to smiling to having my heart ripped out to "what?!" to crying to aching and to smiling again. It's a wonderful book and I think it will stick with me for a long time.
**Check TWs and TRUST THE PROCESS
July 16, 2024
I was wholeheartedly obsessed with this until the end of the 2nd part where I turned into Michael Scott screaming NOOOOOOO. NO! I wanted to kick my kindle into the sky.
I'm lying I continued to be obsessed after that but FUCK
Your beating heart is brutally ripped out of your chest and then all of a sudden it's a sizeable amount of years later and you feel like you've missed EVERYTHING. I knocked a star off because I just wanted more from the end really - it's been that many years and if it was so quick and easy to fall back into each other's arms why did it TAKE THAT LONG in the first place? I also really wanted closure with Arik and his parents - did he cut them off?
I LOVE how this was written, when intimacy is written this way it's honestly why I won't touch any other genre except romance. I soaked up that summer at Warped like a sponge, my Kindle would have to be prized from my hands I could NOT put it down.
Arik's lyrics and journal posts were a punch to the chest in the best way. The mental health rep in this was raw and real and heartbreaking.
I loved this a lot and the pair of em will always be some of my fav characters I've ever read.
I'm lying I continued to be obsessed after that but FUCK
Your beating heart is brutally ripped out of your chest and then all of a sudden it's a sizeable amount of years later and you feel like you've missed EVERYTHING. I knocked a star off because I just wanted more from the end really - it's been that many years and if it was so quick and easy to fall back into each other's arms why did it TAKE THAT LONG in the first place? I also really wanted closure with Arik and his parents - did he cut them off?
I LOVE how this was written, when intimacy is written this way it's honestly why I won't touch any other genre except romance. I soaked up that summer at Warped like a sponge, my Kindle would have to be prized from my hands I could NOT put it down.
Arik's lyrics and journal posts were a punch to the chest in the best way. The mental health rep in this was raw and real and heartbreaking.
I loved this a lot and the pair of em will always be some of my fav characters I've ever read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 2, 2024
4.5 so close to a 5 but it is probably a 5. I just wanted the second half of the book or the last part of the book to be longer. I wanted it to be more drawn out.
I absolutely loved every song lyric in this book . this was an epic romance. It was everything you want in a book. I just wanted more of it.
I absolutely loved every song lyric in this book . this was an epic romance. It was everything you want in a book. I just wanted more of it.
September 12, 2024
4.5
The blurb is a bit misleading because it makes you believe the majority of the book is about their second chance together but it’s actually about their first time being together.
Still highly enjoyed it.
The blurb is a bit misleading because it makes you believe the majority of the book is about their second chance together but it’s actually about their first time being together.
Still highly enjoyed it.
February 21, 2025
Oh man this was sooooo good up until the “17 years later”
I don’t get it. Why 17 years, it was too long. Didn’t make sense. And how fast everything happened after 17 years was a bit ridiculous.
I feel like most of the last chapters were about Varians Dad…
Also anyone else find it madly bizarre that Arik calls Varian “My Dear” once, he gets it tattooed on him
And then the endearment isn’t used again at all in the rest of the book?
Genuinely so sad. This was a 5* book up until the time jump and it just went downhill from there.
I don’t get it. Why 17 years, it was too long. Didn’t make sense. And how fast everything happened after 17 years was a bit ridiculous.
I feel like most of the last chapters were about Varians Dad…
Also anyone else find it madly bizarre that Arik calls Varian “My Dear” once, he gets it tattooed on him
And then the endearment isn’t used again at all in the rest of the book?
Genuinely so sad. This was a 5* book up until the time jump and it just went downhill from there.
June 3, 2024
Just finished this! I had to stop myself from reading it all night… this book will stay with me for a long time! I loved his Pretty Broken series, this is different, but still amazingly good!!
Definitely recommend!
I received an ARC through another author’s Patreon, my opinions are my own.
Definitely recommend!
I received an ARC through another author’s Patreon, my opinions are my own.
July 9, 2024
A much needed re-read. 🥹
This was such a great read.
**I was never any good at math, but doesn’t “you + me” make sense?**
This was such a great read.
**I was never any good at math, but doesn’t “you + me” make sense?**
June 10, 2024
Holy hell in a handbasket! (I don’t really know what that means but it just felt right). Although I am a queer guy, I rarely read MM romances. I don’t want to read stories that are just spicy smut and don’t feel authentic to the LGBTQIA+ experience. But I wanted to give this one a try knowing that the author is LGBT. I am so glad that I did. First, what Arick and Varian go through feels so real. The feelings and questioning are something that many members of the queer community experience. As someone that knows how much it tears you apart to struggle with being their authentic self because of their profession, I felt so many emotions reading this story.
For the first time in a long time, I had tears in my eyes when I read this book. This was an amazing story of love, growth, loss, acceptance, and passion. I didn’t want to put this book down while reading because I needed to see where this story would take me.
Apart from the LGBT rep, I have to applaud this book for it’s discussion of mental health issues and all of the struggles that comes with dealing with it. I really can’t say that I have related to a story more in a very, very long time. It definitely is spicy but the passion between the characters is really what pulled me in. I wish I could read this one again for the first time. I know I tend to rate books high but this one definitely is deserving of five stars.
For the first time in a long time, I had tears in my eyes when I read this book. This was an amazing story of love, growth, loss, acceptance, and passion. I didn’t want to put this book down while reading because I needed to see where this story would take me.
Apart from the LGBT rep, I have to applaud this book for it’s discussion of mental health issues and all of the struggles that comes with dealing with it. I really can’t say that I have related to a story more in a very, very long time. It definitely is spicy but the passion between the characters is really what pulled me in. I wish I could read this one again for the first time. I know I tend to rate books high but this one definitely is deserving of five stars.
September 2, 2024
Another 5 star read for me, by J. R Gray. I loved Erik and Varian as a couple!
Rockstars - Bi awakening - Found Family
Only thing that bothered me was their time apart from each other - I believe it could have been shorten and still be effective! They deserved more years together!! Still couldn't take away a star tho.
I love music related m/m books - please send your recommendations my way!!
Rockstars - Bi awakening - Found Family
Only thing that bothered me was their time apart from each other - I believe it could have been shorten and still be effective! They deserved more years together!! Still couldn't take away a star tho.
I love music related m/m books - please send your recommendations my way!!
July 9, 2024
What a journey!
I was a bit wary of this book at the start, given the buildup and the length of it, but it took just a few pages to hook me. I quickly became invested in the characters, even the supporting cast, and needed to know more.
Usually I skim lyrics in books, but not in this story. I loved the use of the journal and lyrics as a window into Arik's mind.
I could make a lengthy list of things I loved about this book, but I don't want to give spoilers. I'll simply say I loved it.
I was a bit wary of this book at the start, given the buildup and the length of it, but it took just a few pages to hook me. I quickly became invested in the characters, even the supporting cast, and needed to know more.
Usually I skim lyrics in books, but not in this story. I loved the use of the journal and lyrics as a window into Arik's mind.
I could make a lengthy list of things I loved about this book, but I don't want to give spoilers. I'll simply say I loved it.
Want to read
June 8, 2024The colors on this cover are absolutely gorgeous!
nope-nope-nope
August 17, 2024Note to Self: So this book is not for me.
June 5, 2024
Amazon
Arik and his band are up and coming when he meets Varian, of Dopamine Fiend rockstar fame. They connect on a level neither had ever felt before, and a solid friendship is formed. A friendship whose lines are crossed and turns into something far more than friendly. But these two men have baggage upon baggage and a separation inevitably occurs. When they reunite, it won't be easy to overcome all the obstacles, and it's uncertain if they even want to be together.
Second chance and rockstar romance? There's no way I could not read a story with these 2 tropes in it, and I'm glad I didn't miss it because Varian and Arik's story is everything a great romance should be. Smokin' chemistry, even among the slow burn, two complicated, well-drawn, and lovable MMCs, and a love to last the ages. Arik's bi-awakening is told with a sensitive hand, as well as the mental health rep and all their pain from their pasts. Their bandmates and found families present very intriguing, interesting glimpses into people whose stories I'm really hoping the author writes in the near future.
ARC provided by Literally Yours PR for an honest review.
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September 7, 2025
Arik and Varian
4+⭐️
PLEASE be aware that this summary/review is meant for my own purposes in order to help me recall this book and definitely has spoilers. It is in no way a reflection of what I think anyone else will like or want out of a book. It is simply a memory aid and a rough voice-to-text which is completely unedited/reviewed for errors. Read at your own discretion.
Arik is an up and coming musician fronting a band when he meets Varian who is lead singer for a successful band and son of a famous musician. They have an instant, deep emotional connection and when their bands are both playing Warped all summer, they become inseparable. Arik is bipolar and brilliant (his parents expect him to go to law school like them) and Varian is bisexual and scarred both physically (on his face) snd emotionally from his abusive father and mother's death in the car accident that scarred him. When Arik starts to realize he is attracted to Varian, he freaks out. They slowly start exploring that and Arik gets over it. Their band managers and label won't let them come out. The tour is amazing but one is over, Varian's band has a European tour while Arik has US cities. Their codependent relationship gets tested and even though they try to make it work, Varian feels that he needs to put pause on the relationship to allow Arik to be successful. The last morning of a visit together he disappears leaving a note written in sharpie on Arik's arm.
The book then jumps forward 17 years and Varian is married to a woman we met briefly as a merchandising tech earlier and has a six-year-old daughter with her. We find out that the men had been meeting a couple times a year just to hook up until Varien married Her because she was pregnant. After that he has remained loyal. It comes out that he does not remember sleeping with her and she may have assaulted him. Meanwhile, Arik has had massive success and won a lot of awards. We learned how he is feeling through his song lyrics and journal entries and it is clear that he is still in love with Varian and morning his betrayal. When we catch up on the timeline the two bands are being forced to tour together and have a lease party for the most recent albums. Arik and Varian haven't spoken or had any contact since the wedding over six years before. At first they are barely cordial to each other but they get stuck in an elevator together for a while and everything comes out. Varian also tells him that he is in the middle of a divorce. Pretty quickly they realize they still love each other desperately and they need to be together. They hook up and fall right back together. This time Eric refuses to be silenced and they come out. Everything is a little crazy but it all settles down and they eventually get married.
I really enjoyed this book. The characters were unusual but lovable. Arik's insight into his mental illness via his lyrics and journal entries was a really interesting take. Both main characters have a lot of personal insight and express themselves well which was engaging. This book was very well done. I am surprised it does not have broader readership. It is moderate to high angst and the physical and emotional passion the characters have for each other is extremely well done.
4+⭐️
PLEASE be aware that this summary/review is meant for my own purposes in order to help me recall this book and definitely has spoilers. It is in no way a reflection of what I think anyone else will like or want out of a book. It is simply a memory aid and a rough voice-to-text which is completely unedited/reviewed for errors. Read at your own discretion.
Arik is an up and coming musician fronting a band when he meets Varian who is lead singer for a successful band and son of a famous musician. They have an instant, deep emotional connection and when their bands are both playing Warped all summer, they become inseparable. Arik is bipolar and brilliant (his parents expect him to go to law school like them) and Varian is bisexual and scarred both physically (on his face) snd emotionally from his abusive father and mother's death in the car accident that scarred him. When Arik starts to realize he is attracted to Varian, he freaks out. They slowly start exploring that and Arik gets over it. Their band managers and label won't let them come out. The tour is amazing but one is over, Varian's band has a European tour while Arik has US cities. Their codependent relationship gets tested and even though they try to make it work, Varian feels that he needs to put pause on the relationship to allow Arik to be successful. The last morning of a visit together he disappears leaving a note written in sharpie on Arik's arm.
The book then jumps forward 17 years and Varian is married to a woman we met briefly as a merchandising tech earlier and has a six-year-old daughter with her. We find out that the men had been meeting a couple times a year just to hook up until Varien married Her because she was pregnant. After that he has remained loyal. It comes out that he does not remember sleeping with her and she may have assaulted him. Meanwhile, Arik has had massive success and won a lot of awards. We learned how he is feeling through his song lyrics and journal entries and it is clear that he is still in love with Varian and morning his betrayal. When we catch up on the timeline the two bands are being forced to tour together and have a lease party for the most recent albums. Arik and Varian haven't spoken or had any contact since the wedding over six years before. At first they are barely cordial to each other but they get stuck in an elevator together for a while and everything comes out. Varian also tells him that he is in the middle of a divorce. Pretty quickly they realize they still love each other desperately and they need to be together. They hook up and fall right back together. This time Eric refuses to be silenced and they come out. Everything is a little crazy but it all settles down and they eventually get married.
I really enjoyed this book. The characters were unusual but lovable. Arik's insight into his mental illness via his lyrics and journal entries was a really interesting take. Both main characters have a lot of personal insight and express themselves well which was engaging. This book was very well done. I am surprised it does not have broader readership. It is moderate to high angst and the physical and emotional passion the characters have for each other is extremely well done.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 31, 2025
*** SPOILERS AHEAD ***
This was on the way to be a 5 ⭐️ read for me - like 70% in I couldn't have imagined what could happen for me NOT to rate this 5 stars. I knew based on the blurb there was going to be a time jump - but seventeen years!? Just no. Maybe 5 years? I could have even been ok with 10 years! I was absolutely swept up in this story and was loving this book. I highlighted SO many passages. I was even fine ignoring the weird inconsistencies of what the hell era we were reading about, but then I was so epically bummed by the last 25% of the book all of those things suddenly felt more annoying. I’m just so damn disappointed and sad about this book. I stayed up until 1am reading because the first part was that good, and then it just... fell apart. I really wish I was in a book club and could just talk about this book with someone, so I'm going to ramble and get all my feelings out 😂😖.
First of all - the flirting in the beginning was so good... the texting about 15% of the way in (swoon), but how in the hell does Arik say he wants to see the "real thing" instead of a dick pick (among ALL of the other things) and think he straight for the whole first half of the book? There was just too much evidence to the contrary for the author to lean on the - "I think I'm straight" trope.
Chapter 21, around 35%, has the oddest glitch I had to re-read twice to make sure I didn't miss a chapter. Then Arik says, "I didn't think he was into me anymore, It had been months, and even he'd agreed we were better as friends and that he wouldn't trade that for anything, especially not a hookup." What? Did I miss a HUGE conversation? That'd be a pretty pivotal convo to be had off page.
The journal entries... (sigh). It was SO obvious who Arik was talking about it, but supposedly only some of their fans have theories. Dude, everyone would know!
And then we have the 17 year jump. SEVENTEEN. I get why Varian left; I absolutely do. Them not seeing each other wasn't good for either of their mental health and he was worried if Arik came out, and his career blew up, Arik would end up resenting him. Then the bomb is dropped that they'd been hooking up all of these years? For at least the first 10-11 years before Varian got married? Why in the hell didn't they get back together then?! The WHOLE thing was for Arik to get more established... in "a few years" they could get back together. The reasoning the author eventually gave (for them staying apart) that Arik was traumatized Varian left him like that and was worried he'd do it again just didn't hold up. Varian literally says he's taking a pause and still loves him in the text he sends when he leaves. I mean, I think at least the first post break-up hook-up should have happened on page to make this make sense in some way.
THEN you find out Lindsay raped Varian when he was black out drunk... and he decides to do the "right thing" and marry her?! Why not just co-parent? What the hell? Thankfully Arik is furious enough about this to help make up for the fact that it's glossed over by Varian. This entire part could have been left out of the book. Just why was it necessary? Arik being worried Varian would leave him again would have been enough to keep them apart.
Lastly, when Arik finds out Varian and Lindsey are split - they just get back together. Just like that - after all of the years of Arik's albums about Varian and the pain Arik's felt. Ok, sure - but if the reason they haven’t been together was because Varian got married, why didn’t they get back together the first 10 years when they were hooking up?! Ugh.
Can J.R. Gray just rewrite the last 25% and republish, please?! 😭😳
This was on the way to be a 5 ⭐️ read for me - like 70% in I couldn't have imagined what could happen for me NOT to rate this 5 stars. I knew based on the blurb there was going to be a time jump - but seventeen years!? Just no. Maybe 5 years? I could have even been ok with 10 years! I was absolutely swept up in this story and was loving this book. I highlighted SO many passages. I was even fine ignoring the weird inconsistencies of what the hell era we were reading about, but then I was so epically bummed by the last 25% of the book all of those things suddenly felt more annoying. I’m just so damn disappointed and sad about this book. I stayed up until 1am reading because the first part was that good, and then it just... fell apart. I really wish I was in a book club and could just talk about this book with someone, so I'm going to ramble and get all my feelings out 😂😖.
First of all - the flirting in the beginning was so good... the texting about 15% of the way in (swoon), but how in the hell does Arik say he wants to see the "real thing" instead of a dick pick (among ALL of the other things) and think he straight for the whole first half of the book? There was just too much evidence to the contrary for the author to lean on the - "I think I'm straight" trope.
Chapter 21, around 35%, has the oddest glitch I had to re-read twice to make sure I didn't miss a chapter. Then Arik says, "I didn't think he was into me anymore, It had been months, and even he'd agreed we were better as friends and that he wouldn't trade that for anything, especially not a hookup." What? Did I miss a HUGE conversation? That'd be a pretty pivotal convo to be had off page.
The journal entries... (sigh). It was SO obvious who Arik was talking about it, but supposedly only some of their fans have theories. Dude, everyone would know!
And then we have the 17 year jump. SEVENTEEN. I get why Varian left; I absolutely do. Them not seeing each other wasn't good for either of their mental health and he was worried if Arik came out, and his career blew up, Arik would end up resenting him. Then the bomb is dropped that they'd been hooking up all of these years? For at least the first 10-11 years before Varian got married? Why in the hell didn't they get back together then?! The WHOLE thing was for Arik to get more established... in "a few years" they could get back together. The reasoning the author eventually gave (for them staying apart) that Arik was traumatized Varian left him like that and was worried he'd do it again just didn't hold up. Varian literally says he's taking a pause and still loves him in the text he sends when he leaves. I mean, I think at least the first post break-up hook-up should have happened on page to make this make sense in some way.
THEN you find out Lindsay raped Varian when he was black out drunk... and he decides to do the "right thing" and marry her?! Why not just co-parent? What the hell? Thankfully Arik is furious enough about this to help make up for the fact that it's glossed over by Varian. This entire part could have been left out of the book. Just why was it necessary? Arik being worried Varian would leave him again would have been enough to keep them apart.
Lastly, when Arik finds out Varian and Lindsey are split - they just get back together. Just like that - after all of the years of Arik's albums about Varian and the pain Arik's felt. Ok, sure - but if the reason they haven’t been together was because Varian got married, why didn’t they get back together the first 10 years when they were hooking up?! Ugh.
Can J.R. Gray just rewrite the last 25% and republish, please?! 😭😳
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