Gute Gründe

by Nadine J. Cohen

Yael hat Nein gesagt. Nein zum Leben. Nun soll sie lernen, Ja zu sagen. Dabei will sie nur, dass man sie in Ruhe lässt. Denn sie sieht keinen Grund, Ja zu sagen. Wozu auch immer. Doch ihre Schwester lässt nicht locker. Nadine J. Cohen erzählt von Yaels Suche nach Gründen, für die es sich zu leben lohnt, und wie sie sie dort findet, wo sie sie niemals vermutet hä einer unkonventionellen Freundschaft, beim Meeresschwimmen vor Sonnenaufgang, unfassbar großen Mengen Speiseeis, trashiger Erotikliteratur ... und immer wieder in der tiefen Bindung zu ihrer Schwester. Eine zärtliche und selbstironische Erkundung der Reise einer Frau an den Abgrund und zurück.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Mental Health, Literary Fiction, Australia, Audiobook, Jewish

352 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 5, 2023

Reviews

[Suz · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very gentle story, with many serious themes. The reader must be prepared to read about death, suicide, and loss in this slow burn read filled with all the harder facts of life. Grief, loss, the tenuous bond of sisterhood, combined with complex breakdown.

Sometimes my reads become quite similar for no real reason, at the moment this is the second story with a Jewish family, and traditions told to the reader mostly in a humorous way, some traditions not always followed by these sisters and the cheeky reasons why.

Yael is a young woman who has always held it together, until she doesn't. The loss of her mother is the catalyst given their extreme closeness, and she has fallen apart. Many times she expresses this as 'broken.' Her loving and wise therapist won't allow this language, and these sessions are included word for word - in my audio version I loved these, as the accents added an extra layer; the every day language the two women used, and their casual banter was a source of joy, in a way. Watching Yael flail, question, resist, learn and most importantly, accept and improve.

Part of Yael's healing is water, she attends the open water baths at Coogee and forms a new friendship with an older woman. These interactions are interesting, enjoyable and well written. It's always nice to watch friendships blossom. Yael struggles with most aspects of life, and her sister is always there for her, this has been necessary particularly in the beginning when this was a serious life or death issue. Now though, as Yael is getting better, her sister is a little cloistering, and imagines the worst out of this new relationship.

The employees at the bath become a little side family for Yael, much welcome humour comes from this part of the story, also. It's really nice.

I think this is a hidden gem, one of those books that may float under the radar, though I hope it will not. I do agree with the write ups that this is suitable for fans of Meg Mason.

Recommended, with taking heed to my issues listed.

I listened to this via the BorrowBox platform and my public library.

[Bianca · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5
Nadine J Cohen's debut deals with themes that seem to pop up in many contemporary novels: mental health struggles, grief, and trying to find oneself. On top of that, there's intergenerational trauma due to the main character's Jewish heritage.

Yael is in her early thirties and has had a major mental breakdown. She's trying to put herself together. She's lucky to have a supportive older sister. It's just the two of them in the world as both their parents died years prior.

Everyone and Everything is filled with sadness. It reaffirmed my conviction that life is unfair and some people seem to be dealt such bad cards. The sadness, melancholy, grief and life struggles that permeate this novel are made more bearable by the intercalation of wry, intelligent, sarcastic and self-deprecating lines. The writing style and breaks in paragraphs worked really well, I never felt whiplash due to timeline changes.

Despite weeping often, this was a life-affirming novel. I'm happy I decided to read it on a whim.

[Jaclyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cohen perfectly balances existential angst and humour in this really damn good debut. We follow Yael over the course of a year in the aftermath of a breakdown and suicide attempt. She’s broken and broke (how she affords her inner-city Sydney mortgage and private health insurance and psychiatrist and late night online shopping for 12 months with no income as a freelance writer (!!!) is briefly discussed but still a mystery to me – my brain is wired to fixate on such things but it didn’t dampen my love for the book). This is such a Sydney book and the Coogee Women’s Baths is the site of some beautiful and healing moments. This is a book of family, especially sisters, and how we return to ourselves and each other when we lose hope. I loved Cohen’s writing so very much. Sharp sentences, great quips, poignant moments never overdone. She has my full attention.

[Carolyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting one for me because I’m still not sure how I feel about it. There’s some very good, astute and witty writing and interesting insights into aspects of the Eastern suburbs Jewish community (particularly around responses to illness and death). The narrator, 30-something year old Yael Silver has suffered a mental breakdown and the writing around this seems so authentic that I was unsurprised to learn the author describes the book as semi-autobiographical. There was just something about it all that felt like privileged millennial indulgence to me. I know that’s unkind because poor Yael has been through a lot of grief and even she acknowledges she’s lucky to not have to work for months on end and can recuperate with pastries and smoothies at the Coogee Women’s Baths everyday but then she plans a world tour holiday and I start thinking hmm, how do I get to have this kind of breakdown. Anyway, I kind of enjoyed it, kind of didn’t.

[Grace Bucknell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Complex, real, and loveable characters. Mental health themes handled with tenderness and humour - without minimising or romanticising. Chuckled and cried my way through this beautiful book 🤍

[Ariana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't write a review that will do it justice. It was perfect. It's going on my all time favourites list.

[Tanya Milne · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5* - 2*

Writing this a week or two on from actually finishing but...

This was really dull overall. The main character hardly goes anywhere or does anything. Seriously. She goes to the baths, and then she goes to therapy, and then goes to see her sister/nieces/nephews - ON REPEAT. With a few exceptions towards the end of the book. Last third of the book was much better than the rest of it. There were some touching moments towards the end for sure, so I bumped this up to 2* for that alone.

Also felt really disjointed as there kept being so many flashbacks. I know this was very sad, but the way it was written was poor and repetitive. This was interspersed with vague, uninteresting, nondescript flashbacks to her ex. I think this was meant to be "mysterious" and "intriguing" but instead was boring and achieved nothing.

Felt like a poor rip-off/"wanna-be" version of various books such as (but not limited to): Crying in H Mart, My Year of Rest and Relaxation, Sorrow and Bliss - but executed much worse.

Every single commute I dragged this book out, read some, and looked forward to it being finished.

If you are waiting for something proper to happen in this book, then stop reading - because it will not.

[Ace · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful debut novel by an Australian writer exploring self, friendship, family and grief. Trigger warnings abound, so not a book you want to dive into without reading a few reviews.

[Phoebe Low · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you enjoyed ‘Fleabag’ by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, you’ll love this!

[Sharondblk · Rating 5 out of 5]

I follow Nadine Cohen on the socials, and, as soon as I saw she had a novel coming out I knew I was going to read it. I was extra excited when I requested and was granted it on NetGalley. And then I was worried, because I only leave honest reviews and the blurb of this book is quite general.
Well I needn't have worried, this book is EVERYTHING. I couldn't put it down, and read it in two days. I'm on an accidental Jewish book kick, and this one covers some of the same themes as One Day We're All Going to Die secular women in semi-religious communities, generation trauma, young(ish) women going through stuff, but also so much more. The main main character Yael is trying so hard. There is a lot of trauma and pain in this book, but it rings true, rather than being gratuitous, which is either about the skilled writing or about how much of this is not actually fiction.
Either way I cried three times and laughed more often than I can count and highly recommend this book to anyone who likes books that give you all the feels.

[Caren · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was definitely not among the targeted audience of Cohen's debut novel and felt distant from it from start to finish. Although the references to family and traditions clicked with me, I felt like the mother of the 30-something year old Yael Silver and related to her from that perspective - definitely NOT what the author would have intended. The narrative did not follow a linear pattern, jumping from present to past and from recollection to recollection, often carelessly, disturbing the flow of the story for me. Cohen explored the power of friendship and grief, the ties that bind us to our families, and the emotional roller coaster that often accompanies these bonds. Although presented as an intimate portrait of the mentally/emotionally vulnerable Yael, I remained an observer rather than felt her depression and pain.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hm, ich weiß nicht wie ich das bewerten soll? Irgendwie catchen mich oft die Bücher, die für viele super emotional sind nicht so sehr. Es hat irgendwie Spaß gemacht zu lesen, aber ich fühle einfach nichts 🥲 so maybe bin ich das Problem?? Trotzdem war es ein gutes Buch, kann man auf jeden Fall lesen aber ist auch keine leichte Kost

[Eva · Rating 4 out of 5]

Should definitely come with trigger warnings, but such a deep yet funny, sad yet hopeful read! (plus I love learning about different countries and cultures through literature 🙂‍↕️)

[Mia Levin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why is nobody taking about this book!!! Can’t even explain how much I adored it, I couldn’t put it down. This is a story about grief, breakdowns, friendships and loss. It is both deeply moving and laugh out loud funny. I laughed. I cried. I just loved it so much. Not to mention the characters being Jewish and all the Jewish references throughout…so good ❤️

[ALPHAreader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've just come off an absolute roll with a certain type of new (millennial?) women's fiction. I've been calling it 'Fleabag'-esque. I don't like the term "well-dressed and distressed," for how some of the covers are often stylised - but I'd take "Women's Fiction with Bite." So I was in a bookshop the other day with a legit legend bookseller (Jaci from Hill of Content) who knows I have devoured 'Crushing' by Genevieve Novak, 'A Light in the Dark' by Allee Richards,' and 'Search History' by Amy Taylor ... when we were browsing the shelves and she just gently placed Nadine J. Cohen's debut into my hands and said; "Trust me," and reader - she was right.

This is the story of Yael Silver who joined the 'orphan's club,' far too young, and when the book begins has just made an unsuccessful attempt to end her life because of her latent grief over the deaths of both her parents and Nanna, an f-boy who emotionally wrecked and ghosted her and a general feeling like she's become a burden to her older sister, Liora.

Yael is on a long and slow pathway to recovery that largely begins in earnest when she starts regularly visiting the McIver's Ladies Baths in Coogee - perched on a cliff-face and offering her a scenic place to cry and read bad erotic fiction in peace. Until she meets older woman Shirley and they form an odd and healing friendship.

At one point Liora asks Yael; 'Is that what it's like in your head all the time?' after she shares another random and disturbing thought, to which Yael replies; 'Yup.' And this is essentially the book, too. Chapters are broken down by months spanning a whole year, but they're made up of almost vignette fragments; wisps of memory and tangents (sometimes deeply emotional, recounting her childhood or the lead-up and come-down of her Nanna, mother and father's deaths - other times pop-culture heavy; "Pacey Witter cures all ills.") It's all cogent, I must stress, and brilliantly done for reading like a patchwork of a healing mind, and the memory-squares amounting to so much insight as to who Yael is as a person.

She's deeply funny and relatable (from Cher Horowitz praise to 'Gilmore Girls' marathons, she reads like a friend) but also very broken and fragile, and I found myself both smiling and crying in equal measure.

Jewish identity is also tenderly touched on in this book in a way that I really don't feel like I've read much in contemporary Australian fiction. Like how Yael looks back on her Nanna, mother and father's mental states at various times in their lives - how she retrospectively wonders what her grandparents being Holocaust survivors must have done to those lines of generational trauma - I think about her often fraught relationship with mum, who, like all children of survivors, grew up with irrevocably damaged parents, and six million ghosts. - and musing on how comfortable Jewish people are with death, compared to gentiles.

I absolutely adored this book. It wasn't easy, but it was beautifully wrought and Yael was a fine companion.

[Clarissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ein sehr beeindruckendes Debüt.
Ich habe mich in vielen Momenten mit Yael verbunden gefühlt und mich in ihr wiedererkannt, aber unabhängig von psychischer Gesundheit geht dieses Buch auch sehr in die Tiefe, was familiäre Strukturen und Traumata, speziell vererbtes Trauma in jüdischen Familien betrifft, genau wie das Leben in der Diaspora.
Hier und da hatte ich mit der sehr sprunghaften Erzählweise zu kämpfen, aber meine Interpretation davon ist, dass man in einem Jahr, in dem man versucht zu heilen und Dinge aufzuarbeiten, eben genau solche gedanklichen Sprünge und Erinnerungen aus dem nichts erleben kann, das macht es zu einem intelligenten Werkzeug der Erzählung. Ich mochte auch die immer wieder tragikomischen und liebevollen Dialoge mit der Schwester und einer Freundin der Erzählerin, auch wenn es sich dort für mich mit der Zeit wiederholt hat.
Gegen Ende wirkte auf mich alles ein bisschen konstruiert und es ging mit einem Mal auch alles relativ schnell und die losen Enden wurden gefühlt etwas halbherzig beendet, aber trotzdem habe ich das lesen durchgehend genossen, auch wenn das bei einem so schwierigen Thema ein komisches Wort ist.

[Tabea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Große Empfehlung
Aber checkt die Triggerwarnings!

[Tania · Rating 5 out of 5]

what a beautiful story, i loved it so much i just did not want it to end. brought so much tears to my eyes. this is now in my list of favourite book of all times

[Theresa Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone and Everything is the very definition of my ideal read. Ever since Sorrow and Bliss, ‘sad girl’ fiction, as I have seen it referred to – also a label I don’t really like – has been coming out of the woodwork and I for one, hope it doesn’t run its course any time soon, because it has a lot to offer to many readers.

In Everyone and Everything, we spend a year with Yael as she recovers from a major mental health breakdown. The novel is split into twelve chapters, one for each month, and within each chapter we dip into past moments as well as the present, all of which forms a rich tapestry of Yael’s life, her family history, and the things, big and small, that have shaped her and also pushed her to the brink.

This novel had me alternately weeping and laughing, sometimes both at the same time. Often sad, and not without its triggers, it was written with such tenderness, honesty, and a great deal of wit and sensibility. Ultimately, it is a story about healing and connection, one of the most life affirming reads I’ve encountered in a long time.

[Carli · Rating 1 out of 5]

While the issues in this book are undoubtedly important, I found it tiresome with some strange and inconsistent prose. I didn’t experience any ‘laugh and howl’ moments as per other reviews either. Each to their own, but not a fan.

[Kenzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ✨

There are actual real live tears streaming down my face. This book is incredibly sad — the whole thing is about grief and depression, so it’s dark — but experiencing so many emotions beside the main character was really beautiful (I don’t think that’s the right word but I can’t explain it.) This is a slow paced book and it’s very stream of consciousness which worked really well. The relationships between characters were really lovely. There were so many people who loved Yael in so many ways. (I especially enjoyed her brother in law Sean’s character). For a book so sad it also made me laugh and I loved the various types of healing that Yael experienced — friendships, nature, pets, therapy, etc. I’m going to be crying about this one for a while.

[Lachlan Preece · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was gorgeous. A literary tea and hug. The closest thing i've had to someone dipping my brain into water and having a reset. I related to many things in this book, either from first hand experience or second. The morbid humour, the sobering reality of grief, the reliance of something as simple as a smoothie to keep your life together. I loved it. It's not an epic novel, or something I imagine an advanced English class will ever have to dissect - but for what it was, it did it brilliantly.

[svenjalex · Rating 4 out of 5]

sehr eigen, hat mich komplett in eine leseflaute befördert und traurig gemacht und doch fand ich es lustig und lebensbejahend

mögen safe leute die sonst sina scherzant lesen.

wie eine indie version von ,veronika beschliesst zu sterben‘

[Beccabeccabooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Meet Yael Silver, a single woman from Eastern Sydney, who was raised in a devout Jewish family. These days, although her faith has lapsed, Yael still understands the importance of tradition, faith, and the importance of loved ones. That's why she is unable to fully go through with a desperate suicide attempt when her world finally crashes down.

Yael has never dealt with loss or grief properly, which is the catalyst of her poor mental health issues. She became an orphan early on in her twenties, and then her grandmother passed away soon after. Suddenly, Yael didn't have anyone to care for, which left her in a very isolated situation. Who cares for the carer in times like these? Even though she's extremely close to her older sister, Yael feels like she can't 'burden' Liora with all these worries because she simply has too much on her own plate to deal with.

We properly meet Yael immediately after her suicide attempt. By her admittance, Yael is broken, a term that Liora and therapist Priya discourage. They much prefer to use 'fallen apart' and are there wholly and completely by Yael's side as she slowly picks up the pieces. All the support and resources are available to assist in the road of healing, but it's up to Yael to bravely ultilise them to move forward.

Water therapy plays a huge part in Yael's recovery. The rock baths at Coogee become a sacred spot, a place where she can contiplate and read all the trashy novels without fear or judgement. This is where she forms an unlikely but true friendship with the older Shirley and volunteers, who eventually become extended family, people who have the honour of being included in Yael's inner circle of trust.

Being placed in Yael's subconscious for the course of a year is quite something. It's a weird sensation tapping into someone's psychis so intimately, but it's a concept that's easily able to grasp onto. How better to get acquainted with the narrator's perspective than becoming that perspective?

You must be prepared to deal with some confronting themes: death, gaslightment, grief, mental health issues, and suicide. On the flip side, there's joy to be found: everlasting friendship, strong family ties and values, the power of sisterhood and hope for a better tomorrow.

Everyone and Everything is a glorious debut, a rare gem that should be devoured by well... Everyone.

5 🌟

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing debut novel! Couldn’t put it down.

A darkly hilarious take on struggles with mental illness, grief and life in general that will make you burst into laughter and tears. Possibly simultaneously.

Engaging writing style that makes you feel like you are inside the protagonist’s mind. Which is a supremely interesting place to be.

Captures Australia perfectly.

Highly recommend.

[Nathi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Das hat mir erstaunlich gut gefallen! Bin am Anfang schwer reingekommen aber der Schreibstil war so fließend, dass man super gut durch das Buch kam. Ich mochte die Protagonistin total und die Beziehung zu ihrer Schwester und finde die Art, wie schwierige Themen hier aufgegriffen wurden, super. Habe am Ende sogar ein paar Tränen verdrückt 💔

[Ella Smuskowitz · Rating 4 out of 5]

So easy to read and loved the setting of the story. Felt like a hug to read

[Ally K · Rating 4 out of 5]

After much fuss- I enjoyed! Easy, witty, at times thought provoking. Shout outs to:

@mia good find! however gotta practice those recco skills before next book club cos I meaaan cmon Coogee baths
@shosh and Lili thx for encouraging
@gabi great review sealed the deal for me xx keep it up

[Ashlyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. 4.5

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5

A little on the chick lit side but it made me chuckle on more than one occasion.

Captured Australia well.