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Shame-Sex Attraction: Survivors’ Stories of Conversion Therapy
190 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 21, 2025
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October 7, 2024
ARC for review. To be published January 21, 2025.
This 3 star read is a series of eighteen essays written by those subjected to conversion therapy, the false doctrine that is in no way connected to anything scientific which says a LGBT person can make him/herself straight. Let’s pray the gay away, y’all!
The writers have had these sometimes horrific, always futile experiences in “a clinic, a pastor’s office, a camp, a private university, around a dining room table, inside [their] head.” And methods include (think of the people of Salem trying to get women to admit that they are witches) “talk-therapy counseling, “support” groups and camps, transphobic healthcare practices, “corrective” prayer, forced celibacy, coerced sexual relations or relationships, behavioral suppression and “correction,” aversion therapy, electroshock therapy, online programs and, everyone’s favorite, exorcisms.” (The “everyone’s favorite” might have been me.)
The stories are so disheartening and sad, because almost to a person, every one of the people subjected to these therapies sincerely wanted to change, generally because they were taught, by their religion, that being gay was a terrible sin and they would burn in hell for loving who they loved. The religions? Typically fundamentalist or Pentecostal with a smattering of Catholics, one Orthodox Jew and one person raised up in an odd cult.
The horrible Bill Gothard (of Duggar fame) makes an appearance as does the odious Exodus International, an organization which maintains it’s not enough to remain homosexual and celibate, one must actual change one’s sexual or gender identity. If you are gay, you must actually alter your thinking such that you become attracted to the opposite sex, marry and have children. Let me also tell you about the low, low long-term success rate for this. Oh, and about the self-loathing. And the suicides.
What did I take from this? First, if you want to be involved in a church, normal churches only, people. Look around. Do you ever hear anything good about fundamentalist churches? I do not. They seem to hate everyone who is not a part of the fundamentalist church. Doesn’t sound like what Jesus would have wanted.
The book is a little odd in that most of the writers seem to have gone through conversion therapy some time ago. The book would be stronger with more current examples. Hopefully this means the activity has fallen from favor, but looking at the number of people attending Trump rallies I have to assume it is still going on. Interesting.
This 3 star read is a series of eighteen essays written by those subjected to conversion therapy, the false doctrine that is in no way connected to anything scientific which says a LGBT person can make him/herself straight. Let’s pray the gay away, y’all!
The writers have had these sometimes horrific, always futile experiences in “a clinic, a pastor’s office, a camp, a private university, around a dining room table, inside [their] head.” And methods include (think of the people of Salem trying to get women to admit that they are witches) “talk-therapy counseling, “support” groups and camps, transphobic healthcare practices, “corrective” prayer, forced celibacy, coerced sexual relations or relationships, behavioral suppression and “correction,” aversion therapy, electroshock therapy, online programs and, everyone’s favorite, exorcisms.” (The “everyone’s favorite” might have been me.)
The stories are so disheartening and sad, because almost to a person, every one of the people subjected to these therapies sincerely wanted to change, generally because they were taught, by their religion, that being gay was a terrible sin and they would burn in hell for loving who they loved. The religions? Typically fundamentalist or Pentecostal with a smattering of Catholics, one Orthodox Jew and one person raised up in an odd cult.
The horrible Bill Gothard (of Duggar fame) makes an appearance as does the odious Exodus International, an organization which maintains it’s not enough to remain homosexual and celibate, one must actual change one’s sexual or gender identity. If you are gay, you must actually alter your thinking such that you become attracted to the opposite sex, marry and have children. Let me also tell you about the low, low long-term success rate for this. Oh, and about the self-loathing. And the suicides.
What did I take from this? First, if you want to be involved in a church, normal churches only, people. Look around. Do you ever hear anything good about fundamentalist churches? I do not. They seem to hate everyone who is not a part of the fundamentalist church. Doesn’t sound like what Jesus would have wanted.
The book is a little odd in that most of the writers seem to have gone through conversion therapy some time ago. The book would be stronger with more current examples. Hopefully this means the activity has fallen from favor, but looking at the number of people attending Trump rallies I have to assume it is still going on. Interesting.
January 27, 2025
Immediate thoughts after reading: Closing this book with my heart in my throat. To each of the authors of these essays: I’m so glad you are all still here. 🏳️🌈💗🏳️⚧️💗
Thank you to JKP for my advanced copy! Out tomorrow (1/21)!
Later, additional thoughts after a few days: Shame-Sex Attraction is a collection of real accounts from survivors of conversion therapy. The authors cover all letters of the LGBTQ acronym. I was left with goosebumps after reading this! In today’s political climate, this book is a necessary read.
Thank you to JKP for my advanced copy! Out tomorrow (1/21)!
Later, additional thoughts after a few days: Shame-Sex Attraction is a collection of real accounts from survivors of conversion therapy. The authors cover all letters of the LGBTQ acronym. I was left with goosebumps after reading this! In today’s political climate, this book is a necessary read.
December 28, 2024
Reading this collection of short stories was such a heartbreaking but important experience. I truly think that everyone should read this book at one point or another because it highlights such a dark but important topic that has, and still affects the LGBTQIA2S+ community today.
These are the stories of just a small number of individuals affected, but they all, in their own way, outline how much of a toll it takes on your relationships, your self-esteem, and your psyche. Quite a few of these stories brought me to tears. Each of them is crafted so beautifully, I commend these authors for their writing and their willingness to share their stories with us.
There is a lack of diversity in the collection of these stories, which is acknowledged at the end of the book, which I do appreciate. I also enjoyed the short biographies of all the contributors. It was nice to get a bit more information on the individuals I had read about. All in all, this was a great read, and I hope many people get the chance to experience this book.
Thank you, NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers, for the ARC.
These are the stories of just a small number of individuals affected, but they all, in their own way, outline how much of a toll it takes on your relationships, your self-esteem, and your psyche. Quite a few of these stories brought me to tears. Each of them is crafted so beautifully, I commend these authors for their writing and their willingness to share their stories with us.
There is a lack of diversity in the collection of these stories, which is acknowledged at the end of the book, which I do appreciate. I also enjoyed the short biographies of all the contributors. It was nice to get a bit more information on the individuals I had read about. All in all, this was a great read, and I hope many people get the chance to experience this book.
Thank you, NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers, for the ARC.
January 15, 2025
Disclaimer: I received an e-ARC from netgalley in exchange for a review.
This anthology collects short biographical texts from various authors, who have undergone conversion therapy and how it affected them, most often while it was happening, but sometimes also what they experienced afterwards.
The introduction gives an overview on conversion practices, its history and a few laws surrounding it. It also tells us which stories we can expect in this anthology and that they very often come from a religious background. Most of the authors come from a Christian background, but there is also one author featured who comes from an orthodox Jewish background and one, who describes his life as growing up in a cult. There are no trans women in this anthology (except once a trans man meets a person speaking at an event that formerly identified as a trans woman) and while I was glad to see some trans men and both afab and amab nonbinary people featured here, I do believe that that is another very big oversight. Especially since the pieces by amab nonbinary people in here focused on their attraction to men, I feel an inclusion of the conversion therapy practiced on trans women and transfeminine individuals for their femininity could have been interesting. It also doesn’t feature asexual people and how conversion therapy is used against them. While the afterword acknowledges that voices from different communities are lacking (particularly from the global south, Muslim, 2-spirit, non-religious, intersex, non-white), I just found it a bit weird that there was no acknowledgement of the trans women missing from this collection.
While I do overall think there should have been more diversity in voices here, I did enjoy the diversity of ages and times when people underwent conversion therapy, spanning from the 1980s to 2017. While most of them happened a while ago, I do understand that it may be hard for people, who have just recently gone through conversion therapy to talk about it.
The writing style was interesting and if you are looking for short biographical pieces from people who survived various forms of conversion practices (from self-inflicted attempts to teenagers forced into institutions, from ‘therapeutical’ attempts to exorcism) there is a lot presented here. All in all, I enjoyed reading it and despite my issues with the voices that I found to be lacking, this was a heartbreaking and touching read and one that I think is deeply necessary considering the fact that conservatives are desperately trying to make conversion therapy (particularly for trans kids) acceptable again.
Most pieces feature homo- or transphobia language and so I didn’t include them in my trigger warnings for each piece, but you can find other trigger warnings and a short description of each piece here:
Sniffing the Gay Away by Gregory Elsasser-Chavez: A short description of an attempt at aversion therapy where the therapist told the participant to smell feces. What was most heartbreaking was the way the author attempted it so desperately hoping that this would cure him.
TW: fatphobia, disorder eating mention, unsanitary
Self-Destruction by D. Apple: A really interesting text about a queer kid growing up having attempted conversion therapy on herself, spiraling into an obsession with control and finally managing to break this apart in therapy. Very touching.
TW: depression, mention of drug-addiction, controlling behavior
Breathless by Peter Nunn: In this story a 15-year-old boy is taken to conversion therapy by his father. The real horror only begins after he has gotten out to live with his family again, now carrying self-loathing and hatred inside him.
TW: suicide attempt, depression
Psychological Striptease by Chaim J. Levin: In this short story the author faces conversion therapy in his orthodox Jewish community by a life coach. It was a quite interesting approach to story telling, but I would have liked this story to be a bit longer.
TW: sexual coercion
The Rage to Live by Jordan Sullivan: A young child growing up with sexual desires he believes to be sinful and wrong due to his conversative upbringing and a time skip to his later realization what those feelings where and attempts to fix himself after he has grown up. I also found the look into how damaging the idea that being gay or trans is something caused by faulty upbringing can be to familial relationships. Very heartbreaking, but I am so thankful that this one had a happy end.
TW: depression, suicide attempt
Away and Away by Nathan Xie: A short piece about conversion therapy in a cult and the way financial dependency keeps children trapped in abusive families.
The Script We’re Given by Lexie Bean: A short conversation between a child and a mother after the child has announced they want to get top surgery through an article on facebook. A more modern look at conversion practices, even though it didn’t come to actual therapy here, it very beautifully illustrated the way people on the outside often assume trans related surgeries are “rushed into”, when for the people themselves those are things, they have often thought about for a long time.
Something in the Soda by Megan Poirier: In this story the author’s attempts at conversion therapy began in 2013 during a service by ex-gay preachers. Reading about the whiplash of the author from finally finding a word to describe what she was feeling to being deeply drenched in shame and self-hatred was heartbreaking to read.
TW: eating disorders
The Calling by Kim Kemmis: A very interesting look into the life of a man, who preaches that conversion therapy works, through his unique perspective as a bisexual, married man and the way questions are raised for him during a trip to another conversion therapy event in America.
TW: sexual assault
The Boy Who Danced For God’s General by Jonathon Sawyer: A heartbreaking depiction of a young man who underwent a violent exorcism to rid him of gay demons. The public shaming involved in these rituals and the trauma presented here was quite tough to read.
TW: dissociation, physical assault
Into the Dark by Chris Csabs: A very upsetting look into the life of a man, who through attempts at conversion therapy, has become deeply detached from his own body. The descriptions of dissociation in here where really hard and heartbreaking to read.
TW: dissociation
Deliver Us From Evil by Rick Danielson: A man, who as a last attempt at ridding himself of his gay thoughts attempts an exorcism. Really interesting in it’s immediately knowledge that this doesn’t feel right.
Exodus of Shame by Syre Klenke: A young trans man is forced by his family to attend conversion therapy but soon finds himself unable to believe in any of the things they are teaching, as their narratives never work for him. This was a very interesting look at conversion therapy and how different levels of personal resilience and self-acceptance can mean a world of difference in if conversion therapy works on you or not.
TW: self-harm, csa
Behind Closet Doors by Colin Bland: A short story about a young person seeking conversion therapy for being attracted to men and being too feminine as a teenager in an attempt to avoid further bullying and harassment. The leading questions reported here where sickening including the way the therapist here insinuated that by coming out people would assume the teenager was abusing their younger brother.
TW: mentions of csa and incest
Convert by Gemma Hickey: In this story an activist showcases the way they overcame conversion practices in their youth and fought to get it banned as an adult. The mental pressure that conversion practices place on children is horrible and I am so happy to hear that they survived and managed to grow up to fight it.
TW: suicide attempt
Setting Captives Free by Tyler Krumland: The author reflects on his experiences signing up to an online conversion course and the way his assigned mentor there treated him. The psychological abuse described here was hard to read, but I did like that the author was able to look back at this now that the course has been discontinued. It is always good to hear about things changing.
Gay Christian Speed Dating by Lucas F. W. Wilson: In this story the author connects with another man during a group meeting for those trying to overcome same-sex attraction. It was kind of horrific to read about the way women are talked about in these circles as the only available sexual outlet for men (where masturbation alone is already vilified)
This anthology collects short biographical texts from various authors, who have undergone conversion therapy and how it affected them, most often while it was happening, but sometimes also what they experienced afterwards.
The introduction gives an overview on conversion practices, its history and a few laws surrounding it. It also tells us which stories we can expect in this anthology and that they very often come from a religious background. Most of the authors come from a Christian background, but there is also one author featured who comes from an orthodox Jewish background and one, who describes his life as growing up in a cult. There are no trans women in this anthology (except once a trans man meets a person speaking at an event that formerly identified as a trans woman) and while I was glad to see some trans men and both afab and amab nonbinary people featured here, I do believe that that is another very big oversight. Especially since the pieces by amab nonbinary people in here focused on their attraction to men, I feel an inclusion of the conversion therapy practiced on trans women and transfeminine individuals for their femininity could have been interesting. It also doesn’t feature asexual people and how conversion therapy is used against them. While the afterword acknowledges that voices from different communities are lacking (particularly from the global south, Muslim, 2-spirit, non-religious, intersex, non-white), I just found it a bit weird that there was no acknowledgement of the trans women missing from this collection.
While I do overall think there should have been more diversity in voices here, I did enjoy the diversity of ages and times when people underwent conversion therapy, spanning from the 1980s to 2017. While most of them happened a while ago, I do understand that it may be hard for people, who have just recently gone through conversion therapy to talk about it.
The writing style was interesting and if you are looking for short biographical pieces from people who survived various forms of conversion practices (from self-inflicted attempts to teenagers forced into institutions, from ‘therapeutical’ attempts to exorcism) there is a lot presented here. All in all, I enjoyed reading it and despite my issues with the voices that I found to be lacking, this was a heartbreaking and touching read and one that I think is deeply necessary considering the fact that conservatives are desperately trying to make conversion therapy (particularly for trans kids) acceptable again.
Most pieces feature homo- or transphobia language and so I didn’t include them in my trigger warnings for each piece, but you can find other trigger warnings and a short description of each piece here:
Sniffing the Gay Away by Gregory Elsasser-Chavez: A short description of an attempt at aversion therapy where the therapist told the participant to smell feces. What was most heartbreaking was the way the author attempted it so desperately hoping that this would cure him.
TW: fatphobia, disorder eating mention, unsanitary
Self-Destruction by D. Apple: A really interesting text about a queer kid growing up having attempted conversion therapy on herself, spiraling into an obsession with control and finally managing to break this apart in therapy. Very touching.
TW: depression, mention of drug-addiction, controlling behavior
Breathless by Peter Nunn: In this story a 15-year-old boy is taken to conversion therapy by his father. The real horror only begins after he has gotten out to live with his family again, now carrying self-loathing and hatred inside him.
TW: suicide attempt, depression
Psychological Striptease by Chaim J. Levin: In this short story the author faces conversion therapy in his orthodox Jewish community by a life coach. It was a quite interesting approach to story telling, but I would have liked this story to be a bit longer.
TW: sexual coercion
The Rage to Live by Jordan Sullivan: A young child growing up with sexual desires he believes to be sinful and wrong due to his conversative upbringing and a time skip to his later realization what those feelings where and attempts to fix himself after he has grown up. I also found the look into how damaging the idea that being gay or trans is something caused by faulty upbringing can be to familial relationships. Very heartbreaking, but I am so thankful that this one had a happy end.
TW: depression, suicide attempt
Away and Away by Nathan Xie: A short piece about conversion therapy in a cult and the way financial dependency keeps children trapped in abusive families.
The Script We’re Given by Lexie Bean: A short conversation between a child and a mother after the child has announced they want to get top surgery through an article on facebook. A more modern look at conversion practices, even though it didn’t come to actual therapy here, it very beautifully illustrated the way people on the outside often assume trans related surgeries are “rushed into”, when for the people themselves those are things, they have often thought about for a long time.
Something in the Soda by Megan Poirier: In this story the author’s attempts at conversion therapy began in 2013 during a service by ex-gay preachers. Reading about the whiplash of the author from finally finding a word to describe what she was feeling to being deeply drenched in shame and self-hatred was heartbreaking to read.
TW: eating disorders
The Calling by Kim Kemmis: A very interesting look into the life of a man, who preaches that conversion therapy works, through his unique perspective as a bisexual, married man and the way questions are raised for him during a trip to another conversion therapy event in America.
TW: sexual assault
The Boy Who Danced For God’s General by Jonathon Sawyer: A heartbreaking depiction of a young man who underwent a violent exorcism to rid him of gay demons. The public shaming involved in these rituals and the trauma presented here was quite tough to read.
TW: dissociation, physical assault
Into the Dark by Chris Csabs: A very upsetting look into the life of a man, who through attempts at conversion therapy, has become deeply detached from his own body. The descriptions of dissociation in here where really hard and heartbreaking to read.
TW: dissociation
Deliver Us From Evil by Rick Danielson: A man, who as a last attempt at ridding himself of his gay thoughts attempts an exorcism. Really interesting in it’s immediately knowledge that this doesn’t feel right.
Exodus of Shame by Syre Klenke: A young trans man is forced by his family to attend conversion therapy but soon finds himself unable to believe in any of the things they are teaching, as their narratives never work for him. This was a very interesting look at conversion therapy and how different levels of personal resilience and self-acceptance can mean a world of difference in if conversion therapy works on you or not.
TW: self-harm, csa
Behind Closet Doors by Colin Bland: A short story about a young person seeking conversion therapy for being attracted to men and being too feminine as a teenager in an attempt to avoid further bullying and harassment. The leading questions reported here where sickening including the way the therapist here insinuated that by coming out people would assume the teenager was abusing their younger brother.
TW: mentions of csa and incest
Convert by Gemma Hickey: In this story an activist showcases the way they overcame conversion practices in their youth and fought to get it banned as an adult. The mental pressure that conversion practices place on children is horrible and I am so happy to hear that they survived and managed to grow up to fight it.
TW: suicide attempt
Setting Captives Free by Tyler Krumland: The author reflects on his experiences signing up to an online conversion course and the way his assigned mentor there treated him. The psychological abuse described here was hard to read, but I did like that the author was able to look back at this now that the course has been discontinued. It is always good to hear about things changing.
Gay Christian Speed Dating by Lucas F. W. Wilson: In this story the author connects with another man during a group meeting for those trying to overcome same-sex attraction. It was kind of horrific to read about the way women are talked about in these circles as the only available sexual outlet for men (where masturbation alone is already vilified)
October 21, 2024
Heartbreaking. Shame-sex attraction is a truly raw image of what conversion theraphy can do to a person.
Each story is unique and important, each experience valid and, most importantly, shows a much needed POV of a survivor. Every chapter depics someone's personal experience when it comes to the horrible practice of conversion theraphy and sheds like on topics such as shame, religious trauma, mental illness, abuse.
Most stories are from the older times, some mention time after 2010s, however, I really wish there were more from "these days", though I understand that it's harder to acquire such fresh testimonies as most people in (now much restricted) coversion theraphy places are teens. I do feel like this book survivors' stories are strong and gives hope to those who experienced something similar or just struggle to be themselves.
To this day, it shocks me that parents make their kids do conversion theraphy and try to guilt-trip them into believing that it's possible to change. The trauma that these parents make their kids go through is devastating: so many survivors see no other way out from "being sinful" than suicide. I often wonder if it's the lack of education, shame of having a kid who identifies as part LGBTQ+, deep rooted religious beliefs or the combination of them all that make parents hurt their children by sending them off to this so-called theraphy.
I wish I could hug each and every person in the world who has ever been through such hell as a conversion theraphy. I'm so glad you survived, I'm so sorry if you feel like you're bad because of your sexuality or identity, but I promise you, the world is better with you in it & you are perfect the way you are.
Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC.
Each story is unique and important, each experience valid and, most importantly, shows a much needed POV of a survivor. Every chapter depics someone's personal experience when it comes to the horrible practice of conversion theraphy and sheds like on topics such as shame, religious trauma, mental illness, abuse.
Most stories are from the older times, some mention time after 2010s, however, I really wish there were more from "these days", though I understand that it's harder to acquire such fresh testimonies as most people in (now much restricted) coversion theraphy places are teens. I do feel like this book survivors' stories are strong and gives hope to those who experienced something similar or just struggle to be themselves.
To this day, it shocks me that parents make their kids do conversion theraphy and try to guilt-trip them into believing that it's possible to change. The trauma that these parents make their kids go through is devastating: so many survivors see no other way out from "being sinful" than suicide. I often wonder if it's the lack of education, shame of having a kid who identifies as part LGBTQ+, deep rooted religious beliefs or the combination of them all that make parents hurt their children by sending them off to this so-called theraphy.
I wish I could hug each and every person in the world who has ever been through such hell as a conversion theraphy. I'm so glad you survived, I'm so sorry if you feel like you're bad because of your sexuality or identity, but I promise you, the world is better with you in it & you are perfect the way you are.
Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC.
January 12, 2025
thanks to Jessica Kingsley Publishers and NetGalley for the advanced digital copy.
this book releases January 21, 2025.
--
this is a great little collection from people who have experience with conversion therapy and the way different religious institutions, family members, and even medical professionals try to inoculate queer people with self-hatred.
one of the first essays for me was one of the most insidious - a therapist suggests that a queer man think about the men he's attracted to while sniffing dog shit in order to condition himself into thinking that his same-sex attraction is disgusting. like, what?
and i think that's a good point that this collection makes. whenever i think of conversion therapy, i think of the campy, ridiculous joy of the movie but, i'm a cheerleader - a movie that teaches men to sling axes and women to vacuum, a movie that puts teenagers in flesh-toned body suits with strategically placed fig leaves a la adam & eve in a ridiculous demonstration of how boys belong with girls. and i think that it's easy to believe that that's what conversion therapy is - a sprawling house with laughable exercises that make a mockery of gender and sexuality in effort to untangle it.
conversion therapy is actually insidious, teaching kids from near infancy these binaristic concepts - your baby boy is a lady's man because he gassily smiles at his babysitter, your little girl must cross her legs to be "lady-like". this book talks about the homophobia that exists within modern medicine still and prevalently. this book talks about how people whose first memories involve being told to hate themselves for urges that they didn't ask for and can't suppress.
the only reason this wasn't a five star read for me is something that the book addresses - that it lacks the inclusive experiences of more trans people, 2-spirit people, people of color. there was a notation that stories from people with these experiences was sought, but ultimately not found. not sure how true i find that to be, but i appreciate that the glaring oversight was addressed in this collection.
this book releases January 21, 2025.
--
this is a great little collection from people who have experience with conversion therapy and the way different religious institutions, family members, and even medical professionals try to inoculate queer people with self-hatred.
one of the first essays for me was one of the most insidious - a therapist suggests that a queer man think about the men he's attracted to while sniffing dog shit in order to condition himself into thinking that his same-sex attraction is disgusting. like, what?
and i think that's a good point that this collection makes. whenever i think of conversion therapy, i think of the campy, ridiculous joy of the movie but, i'm a cheerleader - a movie that teaches men to sling axes and women to vacuum, a movie that puts teenagers in flesh-toned body suits with strategically placed fig leaves a la adam & eve in a ridiculous demonstration of how boys belong with girls. and i think that it's easy to believe that that's what conversion therapy is - a sprawling house with laughable exercises that make a mockery of gender and sexuality in effort to untangle it.
conversion therapy is actually insidious, teaching kids from near infancy these binaristic concepts - your baby boy is a lady's man because he gassily smiles at his babysitter, your little girl must cross her legs to be "lady-like". this book talks about the homophobia that exists within modern medicine still and prevalently. this book talks about how people whose first memories involve being told to hate themselves for urges that they didn't ask for and can't suppress.
the only reason this wasn't a five star read for me is something that the book addresses - that it lacks the inclusive experiences of more trans people, 2-spirit people, people of color. there was a notation that stories from people with these experiences was sought, but ultimately not found. not sure how true i find that to be, but i appreciate that the glaring oversight was addressed in this collection.
July 9, 2025
Well, they got me gal. I teared up reading almost every person’s story in this collection. Each one had me looking deep inside myself to wonder about my own life and how my experiences have brought me to where I am today. It’s a lesson in resilience and self-acceptance that everyone should learn
October 22, 2024
This was such a good yet painful read. I constantly see people talk about the dangers (or, if they are of a certain persuasion, the benefits) of conversion therapy but I very rarely hear the stories of people who actually experienced it.
This was a collection of 18 essays of different individual’s experiences with conversion therapy. This “therapy” takes place in pastor’s offices, camps, clinics, at home, or even within their own heads. Survivors work through their “same-sex attraction” and “gender confusion” with talk therapy, aversion therapy, different online programs, electroshock therapy, celibacy, having relationships with individuals who help “prove” they are cured, and even exorcisms.
Shame-Sex Attraction is a truly heartbreaking collection of real survivors’ stories. It shows how religion and familial bonds can be used to our own detriment and the detriment of those around us.
I struggle to rate memoirs/autobiography type books because this is someone’s story and I don’t want to feel like I’m rating their own life based on how much I liked it. Most of the stories here were older, I would have liked to see some more from “our day.” Reading experiences from the 1970’s-2000’s was enlightening to be sure, but seeing some with the perspective of today would have also been impactful.
I loved that the author, Lucas Wilson, acknowledged the shortcomings of this book, namely that the majority of these stories had religious contexts, chiefly Christian, and didn’t have stories from other groups that would have made it more well rounded.
As someone who loves happily ever afters I also would have liked to have a bit more of an “ending” to some of these stories. I understand that not everyone has a happy ending and sometimes it’s just a conclusion, but some of these essays were so open ended I was left chomping at the bit for more. The introduction described the authors of these essays as not only survivors, but *thriving* survivors. In my state of eternal optimism I would have liked to have more. The end of the book does have the authors’ biographies to show a little “where are they now” but I selfishly want more haha
Shame-Sex Attraction is a phenomenal book that sheds light on real survivor’s stories and experiences with different forms of conversion therapy, it’s a tough read that I don’t know if I would recommend it to everyone, but I definitely think many should read it.
Many thanks to NetGalley for sending me a digital review copy in exchange for my fair and honest review.
(Also, we KNOW I love a play on words within a title and this one was SO well done, a little clever but super poignant. 12/10.)
This was a collection of 18 essays of different individual’s experiences with conversion therapy. This “therapy” takes place in pastor’s offices, camps, clinics, at home, or even within their own heads. Survivors work through their “same-sex attraction” and “gender confusion” with talk therapy, aversion therapy, different online programs, electroshock therapy, celibacy, having relationships with individuals who help “prove” they are cured, and even exorcisms.
Shame-Sex Attraction is a truly heartbreaking collection of real survivors’ stories. It shows how religion and familial bonds can be used to our own detriment and the detriment of those around us.
I struggle to rate memoirs/autobiography type books because this is someone’s story and I don’t want to feel like I’m rating their own life based on how much I liked it. Most of the stories here were older, I would have liked to see some more from “our day.” Reading experiences from the 1970’s-2000’s was enlightening to be sure, but seeing some with the perspective of today would have also been impactful.
I loved that the author, Lucas Wilson, acknowledged the shortcomings of this book, namely that the majority of these stories had religious contexts, chiefly Christian, and didn’t have stories from other groups that would have made it more well rounded.
As someone who loves happily ever afters I also would have liked to have a bit more of an “ending” to some of these stories. I understand that not everyone has a happy ending and sometimes it’s just a conclusion, but some of these essays were so open ended I was left chomping at the bit for more. The introduction described the authors of these essays as not only survivors, but *thriving* survivors. In my state of eternal optimism I would have liked to have more. The end of the book does have the authors’ biographies to show a little “where are they now” but I selfishly want more haha
Shame-Sex Attraction is a phenomenal book that sheds light on real survivor’s stories and experiences with different forms of conversion therapy, it’s a tough read that I don’t know if I would recommend it to everyone, but I definitely think many should read it.
Many thanks to NetGalley for sending me a digital review copy in exchange for my fair and honest review.
(Also, we KNOW I love a play on words within a title and this one was SO well done, a little clever but super poignant. 12/10.)
January 22, 2025
Received an ARC of this to review.
Shame Sex Attraction is a collection of first person essays by people who have experienced forms of conversion therapy. The writers include men and women, gay, lesbian and transgender people, Christian and Jewish people, Americans, Canadians, and Australians. The language throughout is simple and matter of fact, presenting the experiences in an almost journalistic matter. I can't say I enjoyed the book, as the events included were heartbreaking and troubling, but I do think this is an important book that should be read by everyone.
The book itself acknowledges that it is limited to religious conversion therapy, and that the book is lacking in other forms of diversity, there are no Muslim essayists, it is predominantly filled with white writers. I appreciate that the book is aware of its own shortcomings in this manner. In addition, I felt like I wanted more from most of the writers, that there was a hyper focus on one moment in time instead of a more full picture of who they are, how they were able to break free from conversion therapy, and a better sense of the amount of time passing.
These however are minor nitpicks, and the bios are very helpful in finding other work by the writers that may give a reader like me a wider understanding of their experience.
Shame Sex Attraction is a collection of first person essays by people who have experienced forms of conversion therapy. The writers include men and women, gay, lesbian and transgender people, Christian and Jewish people, Americans, Canadians, and Australians. The language throughout is simple and matter of fact, presenting the experiences in an almost journalistic matter. I can't say I enjoyed the book, as the events included were heartbreaking and troubling, but I do think this is an important book that should be read by everyone.
The book itself acknowledges that it is limited to religious conversion therapy, and that the book is lacking in other forms of diversity, there are no Muslim essayists, it is predominantly filled with white writers. I appreciate that the book is aware of its own shortcomings in this manner. In addition, I felt like I wanted more from most of the writers, that there was a hyper focus on one moment in time instead of a more full picture of who they are, how they were able to break free from conversion therapy, and a better sense of the amount of time passing.
These however are minor nitpicks, and the bios are very helpful in finding other work by the writers that may give a reader like me a wider understanding of their experience.
August 10, 2025
While this is certainly not the kind of anthology that you should finish in one sitting, I consistently found myself compelled to continue reading (albeit with many necessary breaks). I always find it difficult to rate books such as this one. However, its importance as a collection of LGBTQ genocidal (Can a people group, and not exclusively those tied by ethnicity/nationality, be victim to genocide?) evidence is clear to me on many levels. These stories are often hidden or dismissed, and many people do not survive. I am grateful to these survivors and their willingness to share these traumas with a level of vulnerability that is nothing short of heroic. I was moved to tears. I also found this collection of stories to be illuminating, expanding my formerly-limited idea of what “qualifies” as “conversion therapy”, allowing myself to form a greater understanding of the many insidious conversion practices.
March 1, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley for providing me an ARC of this book for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
A very heavy but much needed look at conversion therapy through the lens of several survivors. I deeply appreciated each and every perspective included in this collection. The breadth of experiences ranged from hardcore conversion programs to self-inflicted Pavlovian methodology to "become straight." Each experience was heavy and heartbreaking in its own way, and I resonated with many bits and pieces of stories, as a queer person from a religious background.
I do think this book would be most understandable to folks from a heavily religious background because of the context of all of stories included and the experience needed to understand why these writers believed what they did about gender and sexuality and the push to "become straight." I also liked that the book acknowledged that most authors were white and from certain areas, so the perspectives are still limited in some way.
A very heavy but much needed look at conversion therapy through the lens of several survivors. I deeply appreciated each and every perspective included in this collection. The breadth of experiences ranged from hardcore conversion programs to self-inflicted Pavlovian methodology to "become straight." Each experience was heavy and heartbreaking in its own way, and I resonated with many bits and pieces of stories, as a queer person from a religious background.
I do think this book would be most understandable to folks from a heavily religious background because of the context of all of stories included and the experience needed to understand why these writers believed what they did about gender and sexuality and the push to "become straight." I also liked that the book acknowledged that most authors were white and from certain areas, so the perspectives are still limited in some way.
May 8, 2025
A powerful but difficult book that should make any reader angry that so many queer and trans people were made to feel so hateful of themselves. I hope this book brought the contributors some relief and changes the minds of any bigots still in support of conversion therapy.
Read the full review on my blog!
Also, I am more active on Storygraph now so if you want to see what I'm read right away, follow me my link text
Read the full review on my blog!
Also, I am more active on Storygraph now so if you want to see what I'm read right away, follow me my link text
January 9, 2025
This collection of essays is a heartbreaking & angering yet extremely important read, because not everyone has survived conversion therapy, and there are still remnants of the practice today.
Before you get into the personal experiences, the book explains what “conversion therapy” refers to, a brief history on the practice, and how it affects those that have experienced it. I appreciated that addition as well as the difference between religious trauma & moral injury.
One complaint I have is the lack of more diverse perspectives. The afterword actually recognizes that this has representational shortcomings. It does not include stories from two-spirit or intersex individuals, Muslims, & more. The editor says that the submissions asked for “were not received.” I think they could have waited until they had more representative submissions before they decided on a publication date. I would also like to have seen more perspectives of those who have more recently dealt with/escaped “conversion therapy” practices, since most of these essays seemed to be referring to experiences 15+ years ago.
Overall, this presents multiple survivor experiences & reminds us that there are still stories out there that deserve to be heard. There are also contributor biographies at the end, so you can look into the authors more and check out their works!
**Thank you to the publisher & to NetGalley for making advanced copies available!
Before you get into the personal experiences, the book explains what “conversion therapy” refers to, a brief history on the practice, and how it affects those that have experienced it. I appreciated that addition as well as the difference between religious trauma & moral injury.
One complaint I have is the lack of more diverse perspectives. The afterword actually recognizes that this has representational shortcomings. It does not include stories from two-spirit or intersex individuals, Muslims, & more. The editor says that the submissions asked for “were not received.” I think they could have waited until they had more representative submissions before they decided on a publication date. I would also like to have seen more perspectives of those who have more recently dealt with/escaped “conversion therapy” practices, since most of these essays seemed to be referring to experiences 15+ years ago.
Overall, this presents multiple survivor experiences & reminds us that there are still stories out there that deserve to be heard. There are also contributor biographies at the end, so you can look into the authors more and check out their works!
**Thank you to the publisher & to NetGalley for making advanced copies available!
Read
January 20, 2025Really happy to have a collection like this out in the world, especially one that also includes writers/experiences across the queer spectrum, as well as those whose experiences fall outside of a conservative Christian background.
April 14, 2025
4.5 Stars. This book is equal parts heartbreaking and inspiring. The strength and bravery it takes for these survivors to share their stories with the world cannot be praised enough. I just wish the book had shone more light on the stories of survivors from diverse backgrounds and cultures.
February 9, 2025
This book is a powerful anthology that gives you a stark glimpse into just how toxic, ugly, and even deadly conversion therapy practices can be. The editor introduces the topic by giving a brief history of the practice and provides what the most recent research says about its inefficacy and the harmful effects that undergoing such practices can have.
He then provides short essays from seventeen different survivors -- writing one of those essays himself -- who went through the practice. Each contributor shares an experience they had while undergoing conversion therapy and the impact it had on their lives. These experiences are powerful, stark, and outright horrifying at times.
Many states and nations have worked hard to ban conversion therapy and this book makes it plain why that is and why doing so is the only moral course of action.
He then provides short essays from seventeen different survivors -- writing one of those essays himself -- who went through the practice. Each contributor shares an experience they had while undergoing conversion therapy and the impact it had on their lives. These experiences are powerful, stark, and outright horrifying at times.
Many states and nations have worked hard to ban conversion therapy and this book makes it plain why that is and why doing so is the only moral course of action.
November 10, 2024
Shame Sex Attraction chronicles 17 stories of those who underwent some form of conversion therapy. Conversion therapy aims to ‘cure’ those on the queer spectrum and turn them into cisgender or straight men and women. This practice is still ongoing, much of it affecting vulnerable and mouldable teenagers.
The editor starts with some very interesting, yet disturbing facts about the statistics of conversion therapy across the globe. This led me to research a little more into my own country's policies around the practice.
I appreciated that it was disclaimed that the stories would not have much of an ending. If this was left out, I would have been a lot more disappointed in the overall work through the book. Most of the stories are left open ended and ambiguous. Almost like little scenes from their lives. Normally that would be really frustrating to me.
The stories were crafted and edited really well. Most of the stories sat at4 stars for me, however there were some that reached 5-6 stars.
The major theme that was through most of the book was that these therapies were being used mainly on teenagers, ranging from 13-19. There were some stories where they were older, but most of them were in that teenage range. It made me angry to think that these practices were used at such a young, vulnerable, and impressionable age range.
The Book was unique in chronicling the stories of 17 people who underwent conversion therapy of some kind. While most came from religious institutions, some did not, which was an interesting change.Most of the experiences were from some time ago, and I think the book would have benefited from not only more current experiences, but a wider demographic of people.
I would absolutely recommend this book. However, if the reader has been affected by such practices, then speaking to a therapist before/throughout the reading experience may be wise. There is some very triggering subject matter here. Overall I have given this book 4 stars!
Thank you to Netgalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for an Advanced Readers Copy (ARC) of this book. All opinions are my own.
The editor starts with some very interesting, yet disturbing facts about the statistics of conversion therapy across the globe. This led me to research a little more into my own country's policies around the practice.
I appreciated that it was disclaimed that the stories would not have much of an ending. If this was left out, I would have been a lot more disappointed in the overall work through the book. Most of the stories are left open ended and ambiguous. Almost like little scenes from their lives. Normally that would be really frustrating to me.
The stories were crafted and edited really well. Most of the stories sat at4 stars for me, however there were some that reached 5-6 stars.
The major theme that was through most of the book was that these therapies were being used mainly on teenagers, ranging from 13-19. There were some stories where they were older, but most of them were in that teenage range. It made me angry to think that these practices were used at such a young, vulnerable, and impressionable age range.
The Book was unique in chronicling the stories of 17 people who underwent conversion therapy of some kind. While most came from religious institutions, some did not, which was an interesting change.Most of the experiences were from some time ago, and I think the book would have benefited from not only more current experiences, but a wider demographic of people.
I would absolutely recommend this book. However, if the reader has been affected by such practices, then speaking to a therapist before/throughout the reading experience may be wise. There is some very triggering subject matter here. Overall I have given this book 4 stars!
Thank you to Netgalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for an Advanced Readers Copy (ARC) of this book. All opinions are my own.
November 23, 2024
There are so many important voices in this book that I don't believe mine needs to be involved so I'm simply going to let this eye-opening book speak for itself. There are so many quotes and extracts I could pull to try to explain the pain and self-doubt each one of these people and countless others went through and continue to, but then I would just want to write it all out.
This collection of eighteen essays shines a much-needed light on the past and present acts of Conversion Therapy/Practices. "...because no one believed me when I told them that conversion therapy still existed. Conversion therapy is the psudo-medical practice of attempting to change a person's sexual orientation and gender identity to heterosexual or cisgender."
Such practices pushed young vulnerable people to harm themselves "I lay on the concrete floor of our basement because the book said that demons could come out (during an exorcism) as a slimy substance and I didn't want to ruin the carpet in my bedroom"
"Burning yourself by heating up a quarter with a lighter and pressing into your skin is an easy way to correct yourself after impure thoughts"
Thankfully many of these practices have been banned but some still persist. I do not pretend to know even the surface of what these people have gone through but I found this book to be a start in challenging my own naivety.
So I leave you with this last quote from G Hickey (they/them), a human rights advocate and author of one of the essays. Their parting words at the 2021 Bill C-4 press conference in Canada:
"To young people everywhere, you can beat the statistics as well as the odds, just like I did. You have a fundamental human right to be who you are. Once you learn how to love yourself, the rest is history. Take it from me.
And to the ones who have not lived to see this day, we honour your memory today and every day."
This collection of eighteen essays shines a much-needed light on the past and present acts of Conversion Therapy/Practices. "...because no one believed me when I told them that conversion therapy still existed. Conversion therapy is the psudo-medical practice of attempting to change a person's sexual orientation and gender identity to heterosexual or cisgender."
Such practices pushed young vulnerable people to harm themselves "I lay on the concrete floor of our basement because the book said that demons could come out (during an exorcism) as a slimy substance and I didn't want to ruin the carpet in my bedroom"
"Burning yourself by heating up a quarter with a lighter and pressing into your skin is an easy way to correct yourself after impure thoughts"
Thankfully many of these practices have been banned but some still persist. I do not pretend to know even the surface of what these people have gone through but I found this book to be a start in challenging my own naivety.
So I leave you with this last quote from G Hickey (they/them), a human rights advocate and author of one of the essays. Their parting words at the 2021 Bill C-4 press conference in Canada:
"To young people everywhere, you can beat the statistics as well as the odds, just like I did. You have a fundamental human right to be who you are. Once you learn how to love yourself, the rest is history. Take it from me.
And to the ones who have not lived to see this day, we honour your memory today and every day."
April 2, 2025
Shame-Sex Attraction is a collection of essays by people in the queer community who have been subjected to conversion therapy. The main bulk of stories are from conservative Christian communities and the lack of diversity among authors is touched on several times in the book which I appreciate.
The essays include stories from people who once genuinely believed it had worked on them and that they were straight now and people who dealt with the shame of it not working. The book also highlights the differences in what banning conversion therapy means based on the language used and loopholes used, which is an important note which I think most ordinary people would not even consider.
As they are essays by various people the quality in writing and vibe and some suited my style more than others. I preferred the more straight forward methods of telling the stories rather than the more creative approaches. The book is an incredibly insightful read and was easily read in one sitting.
My wish for this book was that the essays were more detailed and spanned a longer timeline. You’re really just getting snapshots of what the “treatment” can involve, both in the therapy room and within a family and community. I would be really interested to read more about the journey to undo the harm caused by these dangerous practices and especially from those who once thought it had worked for them. Very readable and a very important read, especially in today’s political climate, but ultimately I just felt something was missing from making it fantastic.
Many thanks to NetGalley for early access.
The essays include stories from people who once genuinely believed it had worked on them and that they were straight now and people who dealt with the shame of it not working. The book also highlights the differences in what banning conversion therapy means based on the language used and loopholes used, which is an important note which I think most ordinary people would not even consider.
As they are essays by various people the quality in writing and vibe and some suited my style more than others. I preferred the more straight forward methods of telling the stories rather than the more creative approaches. The book is an incredibly insightful read and was easily read in one sitting.
My wish for this book was that the essays were more detailed and spanned a longer timeline. You’re really just getting snapshots of what the “treatment” can involve, both in the therapy room and within a family and community. I would be really interested to read more about the journey to undo the harm caused by these dangerous practices and especially from those who once thought it had worked for them. Very readable and a very important read, especially in today’s political climate, but ultimately I just felt something was missing from making it fantastic.
Many thanks to NetGalley for early access.
January 14, 2025
I want to preface my review by identifying myself so anyone curious can understand what POV this is coming from: I am 34 years old, nonbinary and bisexual, and I was not raised in any organized religion but my environment is deeply protestant Christianity-heavy.
Shame-Sex Attraction did not end up being at all what I expected going in. The description suggested a frankly more tragic and torture-porn-esque collection of stories, but thankfully that is not at all what it was. Instead, what Shame-Sex Attraction did very well was give the views of those who largely were the ones seeking 'conversion'. This was not the horror stories of child abuse we are used to, and I think that is a very important selection of stories that need to be told.
That said, and why I only give this book 3*, this book doesn't really have as much of an impact on readers who do not have a religious background or familiarity with Evangelicalism. The author acknowledges even at the end that this book has shortcomings related to the sole focus being on religion, and like he does point out, often Christianity is behind conversion therapy at all.
It is a very significant selection of stories that are of adults making choices for their own religious reasons to try and 'become straight', and that is something I have never seen before, so overall I do recommend reading this book, in spite of my own lack of a feeling of connection because of the focus on religion.
I would last like to thank NetGalley and Lucas Wilson for providing this ARC for review.
Shame-Sex Attraction did not end up being at all what I expected going in. The description suggested a frankly more tragic and torture-porn-esque collection of stories, but thankfully that is not at all what it was. Instead, what Shame-Sex Attraction did very well was give the views of those who largely were the ones seeking 'conversion'. This was not the horror stories of child abuse we are used to, and I think that is a very important selection of stories that need to be told.
That said, and why I only give this book 3*, this book doesn't really have as much of an impact on readers who do not have a religious background or familiarity with Evangelicalism. The author acknowledges even at the end that this book has shortcomings related to the sole focus being on religion, and like he does point out, often Christianity is behind conversion therapy at all.
It is a very significant selection of stories that are of adults making choices for their own religious reasons to try and 'become straight', and that is something I have never seen before, so overall I do recommend reading this book, in spite of my own lack of a feeling of connection because of the focus on religion.
I would last like to thank NetGalley and Lucas Wilson for providing this ARC for review.
January 14, 2025
The decision to read this book came from my goal of reading more about conversion therapies. Whenever I read a queer book where the character went through this reality, I feel that I lack the knowledge to understand the depth of the subject. I think I started with a great book. It not only explains, demonstrates and exemplifies the origins, areas of greater activity or the various "treatments" but also talks about the consequences of such on the victim, and the way "conversion therapy" has changed over the years so that now it exists without being perceived by others since it has increasingly been known and abolished.
The book has an extremely personal facet. In addition to being informative, it allows victims of conversion therapies to tell their stories and their struggles, in the way they want to tell. Therefore, it reaches the reader much more easily and impactfully. These are the experiences and voices of people who have experienced what should never happen: trying to make the person cishetero, living a lie.
As many say, there is in fact a lack of more diverse voices: BIPOC, 2-spirit, etc., but the greater the minority situation, the greater the oppression and the greater the difficulty of finding survivors who want or can show their face, especially when many still live in dangerous places in relation to their queerness. It was something that the author clearly explained at the end of the book and I appreciate the care in referencing it, hoping that in the future more work will be done to include other voices.
The book has an extremely personal facet. In addition to being informative, it allows victims of conversion therapies to tell their stories and their struggles, in the way they want to tell. Therefore, it reaches the reader much more easily and impactfully. These are the experiences and voices of people who have experienced what should never happen: trying to make the person cishetero, living a lie.
As many say, there is in fact a lack of more diverse voices: BIPOC, 2-spirit, etc., but the greater the minority situation, the greater the oppression and the greater the difficulty of finding survivors who want or can show their face, especially when many still live in dangerous places in relation to their queerness. It was something that the author clearly explained at the end of the book and I appreciate the care in referencing it, hoping that in the future more work will be done to include other voices.
June 25, 2025
Thoughts:
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. This is definitely a difficult read and it took me quite a while to get through it for that very reason. It is split up into 17 different peoples experiences with a foreword and afterword. It’s definitely an important read for many as these practices are still legal in many countries, including my own, and without knowledge of the damage of the practices many may not join in the protests or sign the petitions to try to get laws in place. As a member of the community myself I found some of these stories such as the ‘Sniffing the Gay Away’ and ‘Convert’ especially difficult to read and reminded me just how lucky I was to have such a supportive and loving community around me. I appreciated that the afterword highlighted the limitations of the collection such as having little to no religious, geographical or racial diversity but that they did try to gain some. This is especially important to me as a I know that there are offshoots in the community that discriminate against others so I am glad to know that is not the case here.
Favourite Quote:
“To young people everywhere, you can beat the statistics as well as the odds, just like I did. You have a fundamental human right to be who you are. And once you learn how to love yourself, the rest is history. Take it from me
And to the ones who have not lived to see this day, we honour your memory today and every day.”
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. This is definitely a difficult read and it took me quite a while to get through it for that very reason. It is split up into 17 different peoples experiences with a foreword and afterword. It’s definitely an important read for many as these practices are still legal in many countries, including my own, and without knowledge of the damage of the practices many may not join in the protests or sign the petitions to try to get laws in place. As a member of the community myself I found some of these stories such as the ‘Sniffing the Gay Away’ and ‘Convert’ especially difficult to read and reminded me just how lucky I was to have such a supportive and loving community around me. I appreciated that the afterword highlighted the limitations of the collection such as having little to no religious, geographical or racial diversity but that they did try to gain some. This is especially important to me as a I know that there are offshoots in the community that discriminate against others so I am glad to know that is not the case here.
Favourite Quote:
“To young people everywhere, you can beat the statistics as well as the odds, just like I did. You have a fundamental human right to be who you are. And once you learn how to love yourself, the rest is history. Take it from me
And to the ones who have not lived to see this day, we honour your memory today and every day.”
June 1, 2025
Acknowledgements and grateful thanks to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the opportunity to read and review this e-ARC: 'Shame-Sex Attraction - Survivors’ Stories of Conversion Therapy by Lucas Wilson'. All opinions are my own and are not a reflection of the publishers and/or author, of which I have no association with.
Five out of five stars (5/5 stars).
Firstly, I'd just like to say a thank you to all the people in this book that shared their stories with us. You're brave and worthy, more than you know. I am sorry for what life threw at you and I hope that you can walk with your head held high today.
Without you this book wouldn't be possible.
Jeez. I am not religious and I doubt I ever will be and sometimes I feel bad for those who are and sometimes I envy their faith.
I am not sure it is something I will ever understand, but I want to.
This book was really good, though sometimes the stories felt unfinished, but it was only one or two out of the fifteen. The stories were engaging and filled my heart with shame — Shame over the fact that humans do this to other humans.
Worth a read if you're into queer culture, religion and / or interesting non-fiction.
Five out of five stars (5/5 stars).
Firstly, I'd just like to say a thank you to all the people in this book that shared their stories with us. You're brave and worthy, more than you know. I am sorry for what life threw at you and I hope that you can walk with your head held high today.
Without you this book wouldn't be possible.
Jeez. I am not religious and I doubt I ever will be and sometimes I feel bad for those who are and sometimes I envy their faith.
I am not sure it is something I will ever understand, but I want to.
This book was really good, though sometimes the stories felt unfinished, but it was only one or two out of the fifteen. The stories were engaging and filled my heart with shame — Shame over the fact that humans do this to other humans.
Worth a read if you're into queer culture, religion and / or interesting non-fiction.
January 6, 2025
Multi-voice testimony of the despicable practice of conversion therapy
The book's title, "Shame-Sex Attraction", plays with the term "same-sex attraction". This is the bigoted newspeak used to name homosexuality in some backward religious and other radical circles. It is also, in a nutshell, the essence of the gaslighting and brainwashing applied to the psyches of mostly young adult and underage subjects of "conversion therapy."
This anthology offers in unique testimonies of survivors nuanced and complex insights into a mostly hidden world of physical and psychical violence, based on an utterly unscientific doctrine. You maybe have read or watched books or movies like "The miseducation of Cameron Post" or "But I am a cheerleader!" which gave rather polished or even silly pictures of so called conversion camps. If these alerted the wider public to the problem, the essays in this book create insights into a wider spectrum of the practice that runs from subtle to brutal and leaves deep, long-term scars in the psyches of the people subjected to it.
Everybody should read this book!
(based on an ARC from NetGalley)
The book's title, "Shame-Sex Attraction", plays with the term "same-sex attraction". This is the bigoted newspeak used to name homosexuality in some backward religious and other radical circles. It is also, in a nutshell, the essence of the gaslighting and brainwashing applied to the psyches of mostly young adult and underage subjects of "conversion therapy."
This anthology offers in unique testimonies of survivors nuanced and complex insights into a mostly hidden world of physical and psychical violence, based on an utterly unscientific doctrine. You maybe have read or watched books or movies like "The miseducation of Cameron Post" or "But I am a cheerleader!" which gave rather polished or even silly pictures of so called conversion camps. If these alerted the wider public to the problem, the essays in this book create insights into a wider spectrum of the practice that runs from subtle to brutal and leaves deep, long-term scars in the psyches of the people subjected to it.
Everybody should read this book!
(based on an ARC from NetGalley)
January 7, 2025
4 ⭐ - ARC from Netgalley
This was a harrowing and deeply personal read, with essays from survivors of (mostly religious) conversion practices. Each of these stories had such emotion, resilience & heartbreak in them - at points I had to out this book down to give myself a break before continuing to read. With the continued discussion about conversion therapy being banned in the UK, I think this is very timely and I hope many more people read this insight in to how conversion practices result in ongoing trauma symptoms.
What I will say is that this book didn't feel very diverse. This is addressed in the afterword - there was a lack of non-Christian conversion therapy stories and most of the experiences seemed to be at least a decade old. I did find some of the stories blurred in to one for me because of this.
My favourite essays were The Script We're Given by Lexie Bean, written as a script, and Something I The Soda by Megan Poirier, which used second person prose.
This was a harrowing and deeply personal read, with essays from survivors of (mostly religious) conversion practices. Each of these stories had such emotion, resilience & heartbreak in them - at points I had to out this book down to give myself a break before continuing to read. With the continued discussion about conversion therapy being banned in the UK, I think this is very timely and I hope many more people read this insight in to how conversion practices result in ongoing trauma symptoms.
What I will say is that this book didn't feel very diverse. This is addressed in the afterword - there was a lack of non-Christian conversion therapy stories and most of the experiences seemed to be at least a decade old. I did find some of the stories blurred in to one for me because of this.
My favourite essays were The Script We're Given by Lexie Bean, written as a script, and Something I The Soda by Megan Poirier, which used second person prose.
February 15, 2025
Shame-Sex Attraction is a profoundly moving collection that cuts through the illusions and lays bare the devastating realities of conversion therapy. Told in the voices of those who survived it, this collection offers not just testimony but resistance, resilience, and hope.
Lucas Wilson has curated an unflinching look at the harm inflicted under the guise of "healing." Shame-Sex Attraction exposes the deep scars left behind and honors the strength of those who have reclaimed their identities. The honesty in these pages is painful, but it is also life-affirming.
This volume is a must-read—not only to prevent future harm but to remind every survivor that they are not alone, that their truth matters, and that they are worthy of love exactly as they are. Shame-Sex Attraction is a testament to survival and a call to ensure that no one else endures what they have.
Be warned, this is not an easy read, nor should it be—but it is an urgent one.
Lucas Wilson has curated an unflinching look at the harm inflicted under the guise of "healing." Shame-Sex Attraction exposes the deep scars left behind and honors the strength of those who have reclaimed their identities. The honesty in these pages is painful, but it is also life-affirming.
This volume is a must-read—not only to prevent future harm but to remind every survivor that they are not alone, that their truth matters, and that they are worthy of love exactly as they are. Shame-Sex Attraction is a testament to survival and a call to ensure that no one else endures what they have.
Be warned, this is not an easy read, nor should it be—but it is an urgent one.
April 8, 2025
conversion therapy is no joke. whatever form it takes, it is a through line to guilt and self loathing. as a bisexual who grew up christian, i never formally underwent conversion therapy, but when I came out I was surrounded by people on all sides who sought to destroy that part of me.
this collection was heartbreaking and poignant, laying bare the complexities of this specific trauma and its lasting impact. yet, by existing, it showed that healing is possible. the writers lived to tell the tale. there's a quote at the beginning of the book that stopped me in my tracks:
"But conversion ideology and practices are...genocidal in nature. Indeed, conversion practices target members of LGBTQ2S+ communities with the intent to completely destroy queer culture, queer identity, queer expression, and queer social vitality."
resisting this genocidal aim is revolutionary. living and sharing your testimony of survival holds power beyond words. this book is a victory.
this collection was heartbreaking and poignant, laying bare the complexities of this specific trauma and its lasting impact. yet, by existing, it showed that healing is possible. the writers lived to tell the tale. there's a quote at the beginning of the book that stopped me in my tracks:
"But conversion ideology and practices are...genocidal in nature. Indeed, conversion practices target members of LGBTQ2S+ communities with the intent to completely destroy queer culture, queer identity, queer expression, and queer social vitality."
resisting this genocidal aim is revolutionary. living and sharing your testimony of survival holds power beyond words. this book is a victory.
December 1, 2024
"In every telling, shame claims the staring role"
This was heartbreaking and so informative. I really think everyone should read if not all then at least one of these mini-essays at some point, honestly they were devastating to read especially knowing that these are only a handful of stories from people who suffered the same.
It's especially heartbreaking that so many people actually did want to change, they really believed the way they felt was worn and my heart aches to know that some of them only accepted the way they are decades later. And the fact that despite being banned (conversion therapy) it still exists to some degree honestly its heartbreaking.
I love that the title is a play on words its very fitting with the content in the book I really hope people read this book and learn from it in some capacity.
Thank you NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the Arc.
This was heartbreaking and so informative. I really think everyone should read if not all then at least one of these mini-essays at some point, honestly they were devastating to read especially knowing that these are only a handful of stories from people who suffered the same.
It's especially heartbreaking that so many people actually did want to change, they really believed the way they felt was worn and my heart aches to know that some of them only accepted the way they are decades later. And the fact that despite being banned (conversion therapy) it still exists to some degree honestly its heartbreaking.
I love that the title is a play on words its very fitting with the content in the book I really hope people read this book and learn from it in some capacity.
Thank you NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the Arc.
January 12, 2025
At the end of the first essay, which left me wondering whether or not the writer was ever free of the monumentally vile therapeutic method assigned to him, I went back and reread the introduction. In discussing the collection, editor Lucas Wilson explains why the essays don't have satisfying narrative conclusions by saying that the intention is "to leave readers with the uncomfortable truths exposed by these stories." And that's exactly what happened. Some conclusions can be inferred by the contributor bios at the end of the book, but questions still remain, which is fitting, because at the end of the day, the question of why does this happen doesn't have one clean-cut answer.
This book is short, the essays are all bite-sized but pack a punch. Thank you to NG and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this.
This book is short, the essays are all bite-sized but pack a punch. Thank you to NG and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this.
January 19, 2025
Thank you NetGalley, the author and the publisher for the free eARC in exchange for an honest review.
TW: Homophobia, Transphobia
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As someone who’s part of the LGBTQ+, I’ve always known I was privileged in my family accepting me as I was from the moment I told them I wasn’t straight. After reading this book, I now realize how privileged I was to not have internalized homophobia. The people who’ve wrote the essays in this book went through awful internalized homophobia spurred on by the teaching of conversion therapy and the things they were told hurt my heart so deeply.
The only issue I had with this book was in the beginning ? There’s a part that over explains what Conversion Therapy is, how to fight it and the history behind it. I thought it’d be better for the history and how to fight it portion to be at the end of the book instead of before the essays, but that’s just me.
TW: Homophobia, Transphobia
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As someone who’s part of the LGBTQ+, I’ve always known I was privileged in my family accepting me as I was from the moment I told them I wasn’t straight. After reading this book, I now realize how privileged I was to not have internalized homophobia. The people who’ve wrote the essays in this book went through awful internalized homophobia spurred on by the teaching of conversion therapy and the things they were told hurt my heart so deeply.
The only issue I had with this book was in the beginning ? There’s a part that over explains what Conversion Therapy is, how to fight it and the history behind it. I thought it’d be better for the history and how to fight it portion to be at the end of the book instead of before the essays, but that’s just me.
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