Disentangle: When You've Lost Your Self in Someone Else

by Nancy L. Johnston

A solution-oriented approach to identifying and healing from over-involvement or 'entanglement' in relationships with others. Its format combines psychoeducation, personal anecdotes, anonymous clinical case vignettes, and skills-building exercises.

The author presents a practical, easy-to-follow method for changing the course of one's relationships. Anyone who has struggled with balancing their own needs and desires with those of the 'other' person will appreciate and benefit from the easy-to-implement suggestions in this book.

Emotional over-involvement in relationships can throw even otherwise well-functioning people out of balance—thoughts become focused on the other person in ways that are unhealthy for both the individual and the relationship—commonly leading to feelings of anxiety, agitation, helplessness, depression, anger, and even resentment. Disentangle provides a detailed description of ways to turn this self-destructive cycle around, and includes self-assessments and experiential exercises designed to address essential aspects of self-awareness, distortions in thinking, communication style and tools, and spirituality.

'Disentangling' is the process of creating enough emotional space between oneself and another person in order to better see the realities of any relationship and make healthier conscious decisions about it.

Genres: Nonfiction

284 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 26, 2004

Reviews

[Mari Carrara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was really surprised with this book. It gave me motivation to accept my mistakes and flaws in a relationship and to really learn more about it. Unfortunately , as i read it , i realized the relationship i was in wasn't going anywhere and as the reading unfolded , nancy helped me to hold it together in a very loving way. She speaks to you providing more comfort , if that's what you need right now i really advise you to go for this book. It helps you to develop a better spirituality towards your inner self , to hold your own hands while the ship is sinking and say "you will make it, whatever happens, you will make it". Absolutely love this book.

[Mischa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of good practical stuff presented in an approachable, clear way. The 4 areas of work were most helpful to me. What she shares about her personal journey helps to humanize it.

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not your typical "self help" book with a lot of fluff. There is valuable advice in this book for everyone. Personally, I found the sections on illusions, boundaries, and spirituality to be the most helpful. I am now able to understand my internal conflicts better by distinguishing my thoughts into rational thinking, emotions, physical needs, and spirituality. Highly recommend this book for people struggling in intimate relationships or experiencing the pains of a breakup. This book won't transform your life overnight, but it will give you the tools to do it overtime with mindful practice.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was a lot of really helpful info in this book. It was one of the books I checked out from my library while doing therapy to try and better myself and ease my anxiety. I found a good portion of the information and concepts helpful and interesting, and could apply them to myself. I did find parts of the book to be a bit repetitive, but I would still recommend at least a flip thru to someone dealing with issues of getting tangled up in other people and their problems at the loss of your self.