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You’re on Fire, It’s Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens with Self-Destructive Behaviors
Every teen can lead a life they love. Even yours.
Yelling, pleading, enforcing strict rules, and giving in have proven ineffective. You’ve tried it all—along with tons of treatments and therapies—with no improvement.
Katie K. May knows what you’re going through. She also knows what your teen is going through because she lived it. You’re on Fire, It’s Fine is more than a book; it’s a comprehensive approach for parents of teens overwhelmed by intense emotions.
Discover how to see the world from your teen’s perspective while decreasing your own feelings of frustration and fear. Learn to stop emotional escalation and create a supportive home environment. Gain practical strategies to assist your teen in managing emotions effectively, preventing them from escalating into problematic behaviors. You're on Fire, It’s Fine guides you in building a system that works for your whole family, setting every member up for lifelong success.
Yelling, pleading, enforcing strict rules, and giving in have proven ineffective. You’ve tried it all—along with tons of treatments and therapies—with no improvement.
Katie K. May knows what you’re going through. She also knows what your teen is going through because she lived it. You’re on Fire, It’s Fine is more than a book; it’s a comprehensive approach for parents of teens overwhelmed by intense emotions.
Discover how to see the world from your teen’s perspective while decreasing your own feelings of frustration and fear. Learn to stop emotional escalation and create a supportive home environment. Gain practical strategies to assist your teen in managing emotions effectively, preventing them from escalating into problematic behaviors. You're on Fire, It’s Fine guides you in building a system that works for your whole family, setting every member up for lifelong success.
156 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 21, 2024
16 people are currently reading
784 people want to read
About the author
Katie K. May
2 books4 followersKatie K. May is a licensed therapist and founder of Creative Healing Teen Support Centers. As a national speaker and trainer, she empowers parents and professionals to radically shift teen emotions and behaviors through proven and practical coping skills. Katie is a board-certified self-harm specialist and an expert in DBT, the gold-standard treatment for life-threatening behaviors. Katie is committed to helping teens feel accepted for who they are while teaching them skills to build a life they love.
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
May 28, 2024
Little did I know that when reading this book to help parent my “fire feeler” teen, it would also be a resource for building my own personal toolkit of skills to manage my emotional regulation and feelings. This is the resource I wish I had as a teen and would have saved me from frustration and learning the hard way. I am grateful to now understand the “why” behind these feelings and how to regulate them. The information in these pages will help to pave an easier road for my teen. Unlike a typical guidebook, Katie’s own personal and heartbreaking story is artistically woven through the pages. She has lived through it and now shares her knowledge and experience in her carefully written guide to all of us. A stunning debut! I have already begun to implement her strategies and I eagerly await her next project!
July 13, 2024
An excellent book I wish I had read many years earlier. With two teenaged sons, one that can be a Fire Feeler, as well as being one myself, this was very useful. Some of the ideas have come to me via other reading and instinctually over the years but this gave more detail and good examples of how to use the ideas in the real world. Highly recommend!!
Thank you to Goodreads as I won a Kindle copy of this book in a giveaway.
Thank you to Goodreads as I won a Kindle copy of this book in a giveaway.
May 28, 2024
Parents of teens who engage in self destructive behavior often feel so helpless. This book changes that!! With practical suggestions and skills that can be implemented immediately, this book is an absolute lifeline for families. While it’s not a replacement for an actual therapist, it is the next best thing!
June 10, 2024
In You’re on Fire, It’s Fine, Katie K. May tackles one of the most challenging aspects of parenting: dealing with teens who exhibit self-destructive behaviors. This book stands out with its candid exploration of the author’s personal experiences and her practical guidance for parents. May leverages her background in clinical counseling to offer insightful strategies to support teenagers through their emotional turmoil, making it a compelling read for parents feeling overwhelmed by their teens’ behavior.
May’s writing is deeply engaging and relatable, making the book not just a manual but a narrative with which many can connect. She opens with a vivid recounting of her own struggles, such as the turmoil following her parents’ divorce and her subsequent battles with self-harm and depression. These personal anecdotes ground the book in reality, making it clear that May’s advice stems from lived experience as much as from professional expertise. Her story about discovering a purpose beyond her pain when she became pregnant at twenty-six is both heart-wrenching and uplifting, providing a powerful backdrop to her professional insights.
One of the book’s strongest aspects is its emphasis on empathy and understanding. May’s chapters on "Drop the Judgments That Fuel the Emotional Fire" and "Extinguish the Flames with Validation" underscore the importance of dropping preconceived notions and validating a teen’s feelings. Her discussion on how judgmental environments exacerbate emotional issues offers a profound lesson on the impact of a supportive versus a critical home atmosphere. This empathetic approach is therapeutic and fosters a more harmonious parent-teen relationship. This straightforwardness makes her strategies accessible and actionable, providing a starting point for parents who might be at their wits’ end.
You’re on Fire, It’s Fine is an essential read for any parent grappling with a teen’s self-destructive tendencies. May’s blend of personal narrative and professional advice offers both solace and actionable steps. Her heartfelt recounting of her journey and her clear, empathetic strategies will resonate deeply with parents feeling helpless in the face of their teens’ struggles. This book is particularly valuable for those who appreciate a personal touch in self-help literature and seek practical guidance grounded in real-life experiences.
May’s writing is deeply engaging and relatable, making the book not just a manual but a narrative with which many can connect. She opens with a vivid recounting of her own struggles, such as the turmoil following her parents’ divorce and her subsequent battles with self-harm and depression. These personal anecdotes ground the book in reality, making it clear that May’s advice stems from lived experience as much as from professional expertise. Her story about discovering a purpose beyond her pain when she became pregnant at twenty-six is both heart-wrenching and uplifting, providing a powerful backdrop to her professional insights.
One of the book’s strongest aspects is its emphasis on empathy and understanding. May’s chapters on "Drop the Judgments That Fuel the Emotional Fire" and "Extinguish the Flames with Validation" underscore the importance of dropping preconceived notions and validating a teen’s feelings. Her discussion on how judgmental environments exacerbate emotional issues offers a profound lesson on the impact of a supportive versus a critical home atmosphere. This empathetic approach is therapeutic and fosters a more harmonious parent-teen relationship. This straightforwardness makes her strategies accessible and actionable, providing a starting point for parents who might be at their wits’ end.
You’re on Fire, It’s Fine is an essential read for any parent grappling with a teen’s self-destructive tendencies. May’s blend of personal narrative and professional advice offers both solace and actionable steps. Her heartfelt recounting of her journey and her clear, empathetic strategies will resonate deeply with parents feeling helpless in the face of their teens’ struggles. This book is particularly valuable for those who appreciate a personal touch in self-help literature and seek practical guidance grounded in real-life experiences.
November 15, 2025
Empathetic, reassuring, and practical help for distraught parents from an adolescent therapist who has herself been there as both a teen and a parent.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews