What do you think?
Rate this book
Sewer Sharks
Something stinks in Skidd's Bay...
Is it the masked bikini bandits on a crime spree?
The urine-flavored water at Splash Downs Water Park?
Or the carnal carnage of the annual swinger's swap meet at Harlot's Motel?
How about the beach strewn with empty beer cans and hungover summer breakers roasting in the sun?
Nah, it's the damn bloodthirsty mutant...
SEWER SHARKS!
Is it the masked bikini bandits on a crime spree?
The urine-flavored water at Splash Downs Water Park?
Or the carnal carnage of the annual swinger's swap meet at Harlot's Motel?
How about the beach strewn with empty beer cans and hungover summer breakers roasting in the sun?
Nah, it's the damn bloodthirsty mutant...
SEWER SHARKS!
- GenresHorror
220 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 3, 2024
About the author
Christopher Robertson
22 books368 followersChristopher Robertson writes cinematic pulp fiction that's often described as both wholesome and gruesome, sometimes in the same sentence. He won both the Gold award for Best Novel and Silver for Best Audiobook at the 2023 Godless 666 Awards.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
August 25, 2024
Orgies, cults, sharks exploding out of an anus, slaughter, Gator Jesus, evil scientists and a corrupt sheriff. What more could you ask for?
It felt like reading the novelization of Sharknado and Piranha 3D’s gory love child (in the best way possible). Well written and just plain fun!
It felt like reading the novelization of Sharknado and Piranha 3D’s gory love child (in the best way possible). Well written and just plain fun!
May 13, 2024
Firstly, a huge thank you to Christopher Robertson for this ARC. This is the story of a sleazy, run down, Floridian, party town called Skidd's Bay and it's cast of zany residents (including but not limited to an ex-pornstar, her drug dealer son, a mad scientist, a marine biologist intern, a gator Jesus cult, a trio of deadly party girls and a couple of swamp tour operator brothers plus many more). This is the most ridiculously fun, pulpy, creature feature I've ever read, It's horror comedy done right. Robertson apart from being a fantastically gifted writer with a let's say... unique mind, has such a gift for absolutely nailing a vibe and for vividly painting the worlds he creates.
May 8, 2024
4.5 / 5
Robertson has done it again! This bloody tale has all the crazy makings known for Florida, USA: -- Gator Jesus, blood-thirsty shark monsters and crazy rednecks! If you’re a fan of gore, car chases, pew-pewing genetically enhanced creatures told in a movie-like format, you will love Sewer Sharks!
Robertson has done it again! This bloody tale has all the crazy makings known for Florida, USA: -- Gator Jesus, blood-thirsty shark monsters and crazy rednecks! If you’re a fan of gore, car chases, pew-pewing genetically enhanced creatures told in a movie-like format, you will love Sewer Sharks!
May 7, 2024
As usual, Christopher Robertson does not disappoint! Sewer sharks is a fun mix of jaws and piranha with tons of gore and well timed comedy. The characters are written that you love the good guys and pray for the downfall on the bad. Cannot wait for more of his work!
July 29, 2026
Sewer Sharks is exactly the kind of book that proudly walks into the room covered in questionable bodily fluids, cracks open a warm beer, and dares you to keep reading. It's gloriously stupid in the best possible way, embracing its B-movie creature-feature roots with mutant sharks, sleazy humour, and enough carnage to keep the pages flying.
Skidd's Bay is an absolute cesspit of humanity, packed with bizarre locals, absurd scenarios, and one outrageous set piece after another. Christopher Robertson clearly knows the assignment, delivering over-the-top violence with a wink rather than taking any of it seriously. If you're looking for realism, you've wandered into the wrong sewer.
Skidd's Bay is an absolute cesspit of humanity, packed with bizarre locals, absurd scenarios, and one outrageous set piece after another. Christopher Robertson clearly knows the assignment, delivering over-the-top violence with a wink rather than taking any of it seriously. If you're looking for realism, you've wandered into the wrong sewer.
July 9, 2024
This was the most fun I've had reading a book in a very long while! I binged this book in one sitting- literally couldn't put the thing down.
When I saw this book release I knew I had to have it for my annual Shark Week shark book reads- I mean that title and cover, how could I not!? Going into this one I expected a goofy sort of syfy channel b-horror, sleazy story about sharks in, well, sewers... and that was all there, but this book was also so, so much more. I am so impressed with this book, Sewer Sharks is somehow like 5 different stories combined into one, but in this beautifully seamless way that flows fantastically. Every time you think you know where this story is going the story takes a hard pivot in another direction- it kept me entertained (I laughed out loud several times) and guessing the entire time.
Sewer Sharks feels like reading a b-movie creature horror- full of action, gore, boobs, "SCIENCE", lovable characters, and SHARKS.
I was going to make a few notes about some of the things you can expect in this story, but honestly I think that will take away some of the fun so I'll leave you with: Knife hand, boob bite.
Do yourself a favor, read this absurdly entertaining book.
When I saw this book release I knew I had to have it for my annual Shark Week shark book reads- I mean that title and cover, how could I not!? Going into this one I expected a goofy sort of syfy channel b-horror, sleazy story about sharks in, well, sewers... and that was all there, but this book was also so, so much more. I am so impressed with this book, Sewer Sharks is somehow like 5 different stories combined into one, but in this beautifully seamless way that flows fantastically. Every time you think you know where this story is going the story takes a hard pivot in another direction- it kept me entertained (I laughed out loud several times) and guessing the entire time.
Sewer Sharks feels like reading a b-movie creature horror- full of action, gore, boobs, "SCIENCE", lovable characters, and SHARKS.
I was going to make a few notes about some of the things you can expect in this story, but honestly I think that will take away some of the fun so I'll leave you with: Knife hand, boob bite.
Do yourself a favor, read this absurdly entertaining book.
July 31, 2024
Hobo With a Shotgun - House Shark - Feast 2
July 12, 2024
This book was something else 🤣☠️. Praise Gator Jesus🐊 and Satan Shark 🦈.
This story was told from multiple POVs, but essentially a scientist in Florida accidentally creates these highly adaptable, monster sharks when trying to help save them from extinction...and when they escape, all hell breaks loose.
I have read a few of Christopher Robertson's books now, and they have yet to disappoint! Every story is so unique and more bizarre than the last. Sewer Sharks was just pure fun for me. From the content warnings to the final acknowledgements, I was laughing out loud from start to finish. Was it scientifically accurate? No. Was it highly offensive at times? 100%. Was there an abundance of toilet humor and profanity? Obviously, and my inner child was highly entertained. The characters were lovable, and even wholesome at times. I need to know more about Fred and Florence. Also - I'm definitely concerned about Luna, and forsee a potential sequel (or even multiple spin-offs) in the works.
Additionally, Christopher has the absolute BEST chapter titles, and the fact he has a full soundtrack AND collaborated with a band to create a theme song just shows how passionate and invested he was in this story.
This book is definitely worth the read if you're obsessed with sharks, aren't offended by raunchy sex and profanity, and love a cheesy B-movie vibe. Also, you can't be offended by incorrect scientific facts, because it is definitely not meant to be taken seriously.
This story was told from multiple POVs, but essentially a scientist in Florida accidentally creates these highly adaptable, monster sharks when trying to help save them from extinction...and when they escape, all hell breaks loose.
I have read a few of Christopher Robertson's books now, and they have yet to disappoint! Every story is so unique and more bizarre than the last. Sewer Sharks was just pure fun for me. From the content warnings to the final acknowledgements, I was laughing out loud from start to finish. Was it scientifically accurate? No. Was it highly offensive at times? 100%. Was there an abundance of toilet humor and profanity? Obviously, and my inner child was highly entertained. The characters were lovable, and even wholesome at times. I need to know more about Fred and Florence. Also - I'm definitely concerned about Luna, and forsee a potential sequel (or even multiple spin-offs) in the works.
Additionally, Christopher has the absolute BEST chapter titles, and the fact he has a full soundtrack AND collaborated with a band to create a theme song just shows how passionate and invested he was in this story.
This book is definitely worth the read if you're obsessed with sharks, aren't offended by raunchy sex and profanity, and love a cheesy B-movie vibe. Also, you can't be offended by incorrect scientific facts, because it is definitely not meant to be taken seriously.
July 15, 2024
Sweet Gator Jesus, what did I just read?! This book was wild, disgusting and bizarre in the best way imaginable. We’ve got mutant sharks, swamp cults and yes I’ll say it again - GATOR JESUS! 🤣
Right off the bat this book is BONKERS! Total B-Movie vibes and I was here for it. Theres a wide range of characters whom are quirky and fun- some you root for, some you’re repulsed by and others who are just bad news. It’s so easy to get sucked into the story and wonder what’s gonna happen next, especially with how fast paced and unpredictable it is. There’s even vivid descriptions of orgies, which isn’t personally my thing but if you’re into steamy scenes like that, then bonus points for you!
If you decide to grab this, be sure to check out the Spotify playlist which the author likes to include in every one of his books to really give it that cinematic experience. My personal favorite though is the theme song specifically made for this book by the band Antibodies, I’ve been rocking out to this song a lot recently.
If you like exaggerated science gone wrong horror-comedies, definitely give this a read. Just a fair warning, this’ll have you double-checking your toilets for anything lurking within its depths…
Many thanks to the author for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I had an excellent time!
Right off the bat this book is BONKERS! Total B-Movie vibes and I was here for it. Theres a wide range of characters whom are quirky and fun- some you root for, some you’re repulsed by and others who are just bad news. It’s so easy to get sucked into the story and wonder what’s gonna happen next, especially with how fast paced and unpredictable it is. There’s even vivid descriptions of orgies, which isn’t personally my thing but if you’re into steamy scenes like that, then bonus points for you!
If you decide to grab this, be sure to check out the Spotify playlist which the author likes to include in every one of his books to really give it that cinematic experience. My personal favorite though is the theme song specifically made for this book by the band Antibodies, I’ve been rocking out to this song a lot recently.
If you like exaggerated science gone wrong horror-comedies, definitely give this a read. Just a fair warning, this’ll have you double-checking your toilets for anything lurking within its depths…
Many thanks to the author for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I had an excellent time!
September 22, 2024
This was such a fun read. I laughed my ass off countless times and the story was paced well. The sex scenes were an added bonus. I wasn’t expecting that at all haha. Look twice before going to the bathroom 👀
May 29, 2024
SEWER SHARKS has everything you're looking for in a splatter-horror beach read. And while there's plenty of creature-feature carnage and extreme violence for all you gore hounds, there's also tons of heart -- at its core (and if you're familiar with Christopher's other connected books, welcome back) -- it centers around characters and situations you truly become invested in. But that's also not to say this book's entirely pure and innocent; you'll find a plethora of raunchy NSFW blush-inducing moments. Skidd's Bay's a place where everyone's just looking to have a good time.
There's kind of something for everyone here -- humor and camp, horror, action, romance -- and I'm excited to hear from others about their reading experience.
There's kind of something for everyone here -- humor and camp, horror, action, romance -- and I'm excited to hear from others about their reading experience.
May 14, 2024
Alright y’all, buckle up cause this may be a top read for me
Now be aware this book is CHAOS
but in the best way.
What is written on these pages will reel you in
And not let you go
I had no idea what was going to happen from page to page.
Callie is a bad ass and I love her
I was cackling and shocked
Sad and fist pumping
IMMEDIATELY HOOKED
THE ENDING!!!!
Please tell me there is more coming!
Horror? Splatter punk? Comedy?
All rolled into one.
Excuse me while I run to nab a paperback
Now be aware this book is CHAOS
but in the best way.
What is written on these pages will reel you in
And not let you go
I had no idea what was going to happen from page to page.
Callie is a bad ass and I love her
I was cackling and shocked
Sad and fist pumping
IMMEDIATELY HOOKED
THE ENDING!!!!
Please tell me there is more coming!
Horror? Splatter punk? Comedy?
All rolled into one.
Excuse me while I run to nab a paperback
September 5, 2024
It's all fun and games until a fucking shark comes up through the toilet during your quality shit time and eats you. As if sharks weren't already terrifying enough, now they can swim through goddamn sewer pipes and fuck you up basically anywhere that has plumbing. Not ideal.
This was an insanely fucked-up book. There were a few times I thought I was going to puke my damn guts out like when I read Transcendental Mutilation and Bowery, but thankfully I learned from those nastyass shitshows and now know when to pace myself, you know, stop for a bit and take a breather before pushing on. That way I can keep my spicy Big Macs with the extra mayo and horseradish down which is good because regurgitating them and seeing them all slimy and half-digested is fucking disgusting and makes me never want to eat another one again. And I don't want that because Big Macs are deliciously out of this world, especially how I eat them. If you know, you fucking know. I bet the sewer sharks would like Big Macs too, who knows, might even wean them off eating humans. But probably not because these sewer sharks are sick, filthy abominations of life. I hope they fucking choke on a box of dicks.
Great book, def recommend. 👍👍
This was an insanely fucked-up book. There were a few times I thought I was going to puke my damn guts out like when I read Transcendental Mutilation and Bowery, but thankfully I learned from those nastyass shitshows and now know when to pace myself, you know, stop for a bit and take a breather before pushing on. That way I can keep my spicy Big Macs with the extra mayo and horseradish down which is good because regurgitating them and seeing them all slimy and half-digested is fucking disgusting and makes me never want to eat another one again. And I don't want that because Big Macs are deliciously out of this world, especially how I eat them. If you know, you fucking know. I bet the sewer sharks would like Big Macs too, who knows, might even wean them off eating humans. But probably not because these sewer sharks are sick, filthy abominations of life. I hope they fucking choke on a box of dicks.
Great book, def recommend. 👍👍
August 8, 2026
The July/August shark book club book for Readers of the Lost Shark.
The book opens with content warnings for sex scenes and gore but also a content warning that shark nerds may get upset about some inaccuracies which in hindsight is actually hilarious when you see where this book goes.
And where it goes is an absolute wild ride. This was so much fun. Will definitely be seeking out more by this author even just at the hopes of seeing Gator Jesus once more.
I don’t want to give anything away if I can help it because not having a clue added to the enjoyment but what I will say is the sheer amount of bodily fluids on display… I can’t quite say all bodily fluids are present. Don’t remember anyone lactating but before the half way point we’d had almost every other bodily fluid which I can’t say for any other book the book clubs read so that’s fun.
The book opens with content warnings for sex scenes and gore but also a content warning that shark nerds may get upset about some inaccuracies which in hindsight is actually hilarious when you see where this book goes.
And where it goes is an absolute wild ride. This was so much fun. Will definitely be seeking out more by this author even just at the hopes of seeing Gator Jesus once more.
I don’t want to give anything away if I can help it because not having a clue added to the enjoyment but what I will say is the sheer amount of bodily fluids on display… I can’t quite say all bodily fluids are present. Don’t remember anyone lactating but before the half way point we’d had almost every other bodily fluid which I can’t say for any other book the book clubs read so that’s fun.
September 19, 2024
☆ 5 stars!
First of all, this was the funniest book i’ve read this year. It has the whole package for horror lovers.
Gore ✅
Crazy mutated sharks ✅
Badass characters ✅
Lots of missing body parts ✅
Orgies with a not so happy ending ✅
Gator Jesus ✅
Tentacle dildo’s ✅
Christopher, i don’t forgive you for what happend to Sammy the Sting Ray.
The part that almost made me piss my pants laughing;
”Glancing at the snot-nosed child, they know what they have to do and throw them to the shark.”
Sorry not sorry.
First of all, this was the funniest book i’ve read this year. It has the whole package for horror lovers.
Gore ✅
Crazy mutated sharks ✅
Badass characters ✅
Lots of missing body parts ✅
Orgies with a not so happy ending ✅
Gator Jesus ✅
Tentacle dildo’s ✅
Christopher, i don’t forgive you for what happend to Sammy the Sting Ray.
The part that almost made me piss my pants laughing;
”Glancing at the snot-nosed child, they know what they have to do and throw them to the shark.”
Sorry not sorry.
June 14, 2024
If you need a ridiculous and fun read for the summer, this is it! This book really was a lot of silly, gory, campy fun. Naturally there is a lot of toilet and toilet activates involved, they are sewer sharks after all. I didn't expect the sex scenes, but when one of the characters is a retired porn star, its unavoidable.
My absolute favorite part was the Gator-Jesus cult. I would have happily read more about those backwater zealots!
My absolute favorite part was the Gator-Jesus cult. I would have happily read more about those backwater zealots!
July 11, 2024
I LOVE GATOR JESUS 😁
May 23, 2024
Sewer sharks! First, this was enjoyable with a perfect blend of horror and comedy and plenty of gore.
The story reeled me in 😉I kept wanting to see what happened next because it was complete chaos and I loved that. I was rooting the whole time for Callie and I loved seeing what she was going to do next, and I was not disappointed. She’s the character we all want to be in these stories, and I loved every minute of it.
Of course, it’s not a serious horror book. It’s a book to read if you want some fun. It’s short and sweet.
Thank you to Christopher Robertson for providing me with an e-book copy of this
The story reeled me in 😉I kept wanting to see what happened next because it was complete chaos and I loved that. I was rooting the whole time for Callie and I loved seeing what she was going to do next, and I was not disappointed. She’s the character we all want to be in these stories, and I loved every minute of it.
Of course, it’s not a serious horror book. It’s a book to read if you want some fun. It’s short and sweet.
Thank you to Christopher Robertson for providing me with an e-book copy of this
May 23, 2024
I’ve read and have reviewed quite a few books from Christopher Robertson and I’m honestly never disappointed.
Honestly if I had to picture this happening anywhere it would definitely be in Florida LOL. This was such a fun read. It’s the perfect blend of horror & comedy with plenty of gore to go around. Well worth the read and true to his style of writing.
Honestly if I had to picture this happening anywhere it would definitely be in Florida LOL. This was such a fun read. It’s the perfect blend of horror & comedy with plenty of gore to go around. Well worth the read and true to his style of writing.
June 17, 2024
This book was so fun! I love love lovedddd it!
It takes everything I love about scary movies and cheesy sci fi movies and puts them all together in a fun and hilarious adventure.
Usually sharks are the enemies and are deeply hated by all, but this author gives sharks justice in a way that respects my favorite animals and makes a cool and interesting story too.
All the characters were just great. They were so diverse, entertaining, and showed so much character development.
This book also made me laugh so much. It was such an enjoyable read and I can’t wait for what crazy book this author will dream up next.
It takes everything I love about scary movies and cheesy sci fi movies and puts them all together in a fun and hilarious adventure.
Usually sharks are the enemies and are deeply hated by all, but this author gives sharks justice in a way that respects my favorite animals and makes a cool and interesting story too.
All the characters were just great. They were so diverse, entertaining, and showed so much character development.
This book also made me laugh so much. It was such an enjoyable read and I can’t wait for what crazy book this author will dream up next.
May 10, 2024
Yet another amazing book by Christopher Robertson, he never disappoints with his amazing storytelling. This book is the perfect balance of on the edge suspense, comedy, and gore. It gave me vibes of jaws, piranha, and a little bit of a grindhouse movie. The hotel scene with Annalee made me think of babydoll and honeybear, and i loved it. I also love that there are ties to his other books in here. I highly recommend this book.
May 11, 2024
Super fun read like always from Christopher Robertson! The book had a good mix of gore and comedy with a little spice mixed in. And of course a perfectly timed jump scare! Love this books
July 18, 2026
Warning! This Book Contains Scenes of graphic sex, Extreme Sharkage, and Gore.
Are you tired of having your legitimate entertainment involving sharks be diluted by the presence of completely unrealistic and unbelievably located tornadoes? Well, deviating slightly from my usual selection of reading material (read: books for smart peoples with many many words… and shit… ), I decided to give Christopher Robertson's lovingly titled "Sewer Sharks" a chance. And I can assure you, I have no regrets at all! Regerts maybe, but otherwise, it's all copacetic! I mean, it's got "weaponized carnage in all its glory" just comin' out the wazoo. Among other things that might make their way out your wazoo, I mean…
Sewer Sharks is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to persons living, dead, or shark is purely coincidental.
Now "I know this is gon’ sound like some shitter critter, Graboid hemorrhoid bullshit" to borrow the author's own words, but this was an utterly fun AND funny read. Whether you're drawn to a hotel holding a swingers convention, swamp cultists ("Have you heard the good word of our Lord and Savior, Gator Jesus?"), violently escaping baby sharks shooting out of anal cavities, an evil (+/-) scientist (aka a "douche with more smarts than sense"), wild girls who, erm, sadly no longer go wild ("the girls have wooed their last hoo") or a corrupt local police force, well, needless to say, this one has something for everyone! Heck, if you just want to see a "bayonet-armed former pornstar" who just barely survives an attack herself (she jerks "back fast enough to save her life but not her tits.") doing her best imitation of Bruce Campbell in 'Army of Darkness' - granted it's not a boomstick, but we do have a bona fide "gun-toting redneck" along for the ride - then you gotta check this out!
If there was a saggy tit contest… you’d sweep the floor with ‘em.
The story is wonderfully presented as a "burbling biological assembly of nightmarish impossibility" which may remind many of you of High School Science classes, particularly that one time Suzy Perkins barfed when we were cutting up frogs. But it definitely doesn't try to be more than it is, plus it's very well paced as well. It all gets going, truth be told, after someone gets eaten from the bottom up while taking an extremely urgent dump in an abandoned public restroom ("These puppies ‘bout to burst free and run wild, know what I’m saying!?"). Shortly thereafter we meet Callie, a sweet li'l ol' Georgia Peach if there ever was one (just ignore them "oddly pointed canines" of hers), who arrives in Skidd's Bay thinking that she's going to be spending her summer having fun interning at the local aquarium. Well, go ahead and cue the creepy music now, because things go from bad (her apartment would qualify) to worse (the sharks she wanted to work with have been "quarantined" so she's left with all the icky jobs) for cute Callie. Well… FRICK!
Jesus is an alligator, so, of course, Satan is a shark.
In fact, things start going really, really bad for a lot of folks, some of whom haven't earned such gory treatment and others that, well, to be fair, probably were due to be delivered some righteous ol' comeuppance. For it seems someone has been messin' around with the aforementioned missing Mustelus vidua - that's Widow Sharks in layman's terms who have escaped their confines. Now before someone shouts "ah, so it's big bad Pharma again!", please realize that, no, it's not, not this time at least. For as EVERYONE knows, Widow Sharks (which may or may not be real… and no, I'm not talking about the cannabis strain) are critically endangered with ~40 left in all. So if a scientist "Back at the Super Secret Shark Lab" has every intention of making them, well, less endangered, more power to them! Right?
I only want to save these sharks, not play God.
Wrong. Because the minute you start injecting bits of DNA from one species into another, well, you're bound to get insane variants zipping around your sewer system and just waiting for you to drip some blood in the water so they can go crazy and start gnawing on everyone like "a Chihuahua with rabies"! I mean, sure, you could argue it's not the Doc's fault they (the sharks, not the Chihuahuas) turn into extremely deadly and naturally valuable killing machines that the Sheriff wants to sell because come on, this is America y'all! Even if at some point you're going to have GIANT KILLER MUTANT SHARKS making everything even more complicated (but I want to kill them! No, you can't! Aw, come on, you're no fun!) and just generally lowering property values all along the beachfront. Next thing you know folks are dying by the handful (or mouthful, whatever) and someone is going to have to show up and save the day. Hey, why not the petite girl from Georgia? Or did she get et in Chapter 11? I forget…
Something’s rising over Splash Downs... Something that looks very much like a 100-foot-tall shark.
Needless to say, I had a lot of fun with this, even if at one stage I realized I had become dangerously sober. But everything was quickly amended on my side and I can add another successful sojourn with one of Mr. Robertson's works into my, um, logbook. Something like that. Oh the other one was "My Zombie Sweetheart" which I read back in 2023 and truly enjoyed. Don't know why the fuck it's taken me so long to read another from his collection, but there ya go. Anyway, lots of fun, don't expect Shakespeare, eat all your vegetables, and occasionally give your parents a call for no reason at all except maybe to tell them you were no where near Splash Downs Waterpark when things got really nuts. That covers it all I reckon…
Are you tired of having your legitimate entertainment involving sharks be diluted by the presence of completely unrealistic and unbelievably located tornadoes? Well, deviating slightly from my usual selection of reading material (read: books for smart peoples with many many words… and shit… ), I decided to give Christopher Robertson's lovingly titled "Sewer Sharks" a chance. And I can assure you, I have no regrets at all! Regerts maybe, but otherwise, it's all copacetic! I mean, it's got "weaponized carnage in all its glory" just comin' out the wazoo. Among other things that might make their way out your wazoo, I mean…
Sewer Sharks is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to persons living, dead, or shark is purely coincidental.
Now "I know this is gon’ sound like some shitter critter, Graboid hemorrhoid bullshit" to borrow the author's own words, but this was an utterly fun AND funny read. Whether you're drawn to a hotel holding a swingers convention, swamp cultists ("Have you heard the good word of our Lord and Savior, Gator Jesus?"), violently escaping baby sharks shooting out of anal cavities, an evil (+/-) scientist (aka a "douche with more smarts than sense"), wild girls who, erm, sadly no longer go wild ("the girls have wooed their last hoo") or a corrupt local police force, well, needless to say, this one has something for everyone! Heck, if you just want to see a "bayonet-armed former pornstar" who just barely survives an attack herself (she jerks "back fast enough to save her life but not her tits.") doing her best imitation of Bruce Campbell in 'Army of Darkness' - granted it's not a boomstick, but we do have a bona fide "gun-toting redneck" along for the ride - then you gotta check this out!
If there was a saggy tit contest… you’d sweep the floor with ‘em.
The story is wonderfully presented as a "burbling biological assembly of nightmarish impossibility" which may remind many of you of High School Science classes, particularly that one time Suzy Perkins barfed when we were cutting up frogs. But it definitely doesn't try to be more than it is, plus it's very well paced as well. It all gets going, truth be told, after someone gets eaten from the bottom up while taking an extremely urgent dump in an abandoned public restroom ("These puppies ‘bout to burst free and run wild, know what I’m saying!?"). Shortly thereafter we meet Callie, a sweet li'l ol' Georgia Peach if there ever was one (just ignore them "oddly pointed canines" of hers), who arrives in Skidd's Bay thinking that she's going to be spending her summer having fun interning at the local aquarium. Well, go ahead and cue the creepy music now, because things go from bad (her apartment would qualify) to worse (the sharks she wanted to work with have been "quarantined" so she's left with all the icky jobs) for cute Callie. Well… FRICK!
Jesus is an alligator, so, of course, Satan is a shark.
In fact, things start going really, really bad for a lot of folks, some of whom haven't earned such gory treatment and others that, well, to be fair, probably were due to be delivered some righteous ol' comeuppance. For it seems someone has been messin' around with the aforementioned missing Mustelus vidua - that's Widow Sharks in layman's terms who have escaped their confines. Now before someone shouts "ah, so it's big bad Pharma again!", please realize that, no, it's not, not this time at least. For as EVERYONE knows, Widow Sharks (which may or may not be real… and no, I'm not talking about the cannabis strain) are critically endangered with ~40 left in all. So if a scientist "Back at the Super Secret Shark Lab" has every intention of making them, well, less endangered, more power to them! Right?
I only want to save these sharks, not play God.
Wrong. Because the minute you start injecting bits of DNA from one species into another, well, you're bound to get insane variants zipping around your sewer system and just waiting for you to drip some blood in the water so they can go crazy and start gnawing on everyone like "a Chihuahua with rabies"! I mean, sure, you could argue it's not the Doc's fault they (the sharks, not the Chihuahuas) turn into extremely deadly and naturally valuable killing machines that the Sheriff wants to sell because come on, this is America y'all! Even if at some point you're going to have GIANT KILLER MUTANT SHARKS making everything even more complicated (but I want to kill them! No, you can't! Aw, come on, you're no fun!) and just generally lowering property values all along the beachfront. Next thing you know folks are dying by the handful (or mouthful, whatever) and someone is going to have to show up and save the day. Hey, why not the petite girl from Georgia? Or did she get et in Chapter 11? I forget…
Something’s rising over Splash Downs... Something that looks very much like a 100-foot-tall shark.
Needless to say, I had a lot of fun with this, even if at one stage I realized I had become dangerously sober. But everything was quickly amended on my side and I can add another successful sojourn with one of Mr. Robertson's works into my, um, logbook. Something like that. Oh the other one was "My Zombie Sweetheart" which I read back in 2023 and truly enjoyed. Don't know why the fuck it's taken me so long to read another from his collection, but there ya go. Anyway, lots of fun, don't expect Shakespeare, eat all your vegetables, and occasionally give your parents a call for no reason at all except maybe to tell them you were no where near Splash Downs Waterpark when things got really nuts. That covers it all I reckon…
July 14, 2024
If you’re looking for a gory, campy, funny, gory (x2), sexy(?), horror book about sharks in sewers, AKA Sewer Sharks, then look no further. This right here is a blast from start to finish! Robertson delivers with top tier writing to disgust and entertain his readers! Go into this one open-minded and you’ll be sure to have bloody good time!
June 4, 2024
The literary equivalent of Piranha 3D with a Tarantino style plot and whacky Floridan vibes. Awesome summer creatures feature fun
September 2, 2024
A gory, technicolor bonanza, the caliginous likes of which will vault outta the grungy toilet bowl and nip ya right in the ass!
Look out, ya bunch of freaky horrorbles… the Sewer Sharks have arrived, primed and ready to dish out some good ol’ fashioned filthy fun! And yes, these wicked maritime beasts are capable of traversing ANY waterway — no shower, drainpipe, cesspit, or even water fountain is safe from the chaotic carnage!
A spectacular synthesis of nautical horrors and gut-bustin’ comedy, this badass book will more than likely make you piddle your britches from terror AND side-splitting laughter (oftentimes concurrently!). Oh, and there’s even a Gator Jesus. Yes, you read that correctly. A kaleidoscopic Gator freaking Jesus. 🐊 🙀
This is one blood-soaked summer blockbuster you do not want to miss, my peculiar peeps! So be sure to ride that raging tsunami of sludge and viscera, and sink those carnivorous fangs into Christopher Robertson’s “Sewer Sharks!”
Look out, ya bunch of freaky horrorbles… the Sewer Sharks have arrived, primed and ready to dish out some good ol’ fashioned filthy fun! And yes, these wicked maritime beasts are capable of traversing ANY waterway — no shower, drainpipe, cesspit, or even water fountain is safe from the chaotic carnage!
A spectacular synthesis of nautical horrors and gut-bustin’ comedy, this badass book will more than likely make you piddle your britches from terror AND side-splitting laughter (oftentimes concurrently!). Oh, and there’s even a Gator Jesus. Yes, you read that correctly. A kaleidoscopic Gator freaking Jesus. 🐊 🙀
This is one blood-soaked summer blockbuster you do not want to miss, my peculiar peeps! So be sure to ride that raging tsunami of sludge and viscera, and sink those carnivorous fangs into Christopher Robertson’s “Sewer Sharks!”
June 12, 2024
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 to Sewer Sharks by Christopher Robertson.
Reading Sewer Sharks is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. The zany, insane premise, the rollercoaster writing style, the characters that you love and hate. It's all here and it's such FUN! It should be legal that after reading 8 of Christopher's other books that he can still be this good, this engaging, this funny. But he is.
Sewer Sharks, as you may have guessed, is about sharks lurking in the sewers of Florida party town Skidd Bay. How? Reasons that I won't spoil. Christopher writes with an beautifully, insane effortless. Whether he's providing humour or engaging you right away with the story he's always on top form. The pedal is pushed to the floor of the story and never relents. And when it's over all you can do is wonder when can I read the next one.
Reading Sewer Sharks is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. The zany, insane premise, the rollercoaster writing style, the characters that you love and hate. It's all here and it's such FUN! It should be legal that after reading 8 of Christopher's other books that he can still be this good, this engaging, this funny. But he is.
Sewer Sharks, as you may have guessed, is about sharks lurking in the sewers of Florida party town Skidd Bay. How? Reasons that I won't spoil. Christopher writes with an beautifully, insane effortless. Whether he's providing humour or engaging you right away with the story he's always on top form. The pedal is pushed to the floor of the story and never relents. And when it's over all you can do is wonder when can I read the next one.
July 25, 2024
MUTANT SHARK MAYHEM at its very best!!! The top prolific horror-pulp novelist (with heart) jumps head first into the deep end with a raucous, hilarious and gratuitous tale that’ll leave you chomped at the waist and trying to stuff your innards back into place…in the joyous fun way.
Great characters to get behind, villains you want to see get it, and a relentless shark induced gore-fest.
In his overall storytelling, Robertson has really honed in on not just great horror action (although that’s on full display throughout and in the grand finale), but his ability to emote his characters, provide feeling to the reader thru his set descriptions, and his peppering of dark humor had me getting looks from my family while I read.
All in all the perfect over the top creature feature of a novel to read by the pool…if YOU DARE!
**The included Spotify playlist kicks ass!**
Great characters to get behind, villains you want to see get it, and a relentless shark induced gore-fest.
In his overall storytelling, Robertson has really honed in on not just great horror action (although that’s on full display throughout and in the grand finale), but his ability to emote his characters, provide feeling to the reader thru his set descriptions, and his peppering of dark humor had me getting looks from my family while I read.
All in all the perfect over the top creature feature of a novel to read by the pool…if YOU DARE!
**The included Spotify playlist kicks ass!**
March 26, 2025
I respect this author for not taking himself too seriously when writing Splatterpunk, and for using female main characters that are actual heroes instead of sex objects (even the ones who are sex workers!).
I didn’t love the dialogue from the Southern characters, found it a bit hard to understand what they were saying.
Overall, a silly fun story! Thank you to the author/publisher for sending this to me as an ARC.
I didn’t love the dialogue from the Southern characters, found it a bit hard to understand what they were saying.
Overall, a silly fun story! Thank you to the author/publisher for sending this to me as an ARC.
September 21, 2025
🦈 Do you like sharks?
🩸Have you ever watched a SciFi movie and thought “This is good, but can it go harder, gorier, and more extreme?”
🚽 Have you ever been nervous around a bathroom?
If you answered “YES!” to any of these, then have I got the book for you. 🤩
This book was everything I enjoy all rolled into one wild package. Get your fins on this and strap in tight (but stay out of the water, just in case).
🩸Have you ever watched a SciFi movie and thought “This is good, but can it go harder, gorier, and more extreme?”
🚽 Have you ever been nervous around a bathroom?
If you answered “YES!” to any of these, then have I got the book for you. 🤩
This book was everything I enjoy all rolled into one wild package. Get your fins on this and strap in tight (but stay out of the water, just in case).
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews