Households of Faith: Practicing Family in the Kingdom of God

by Emily Hunter McGowin

A Holistic Vision of Family in God's Kingdom

The Christian world tends to have a blueprint for what families should look like, and these models of the family can be hard to live up to. In some circles, picture-perfect families are idealized and even idolatrized. Many Christians have a gnawing sense that this "traditional family" model is problematic or outdated. But is there an alternative way of understanding family that's neither idolatrous nor revisionist?

Theologian Emily McGowin casts a holistic vision for what family can be in light of God's kingdom. Jesus is our first teacher about families in the kingdom of God, and families rightly understand themselves only in relation to God's kingdom and the church.

In Households of Faith, McGowin

• recovers biblical portraits of households of faith that are not limited to just the biological nuclear family, that can be multigenerational households of married and single, with or without children,
• acknowledges the realities of how sin and trauma damages families and communities, and
• calls Christians to practice family as apprentices to love who discern the times and improvise faithfulness together.

Genres: Christian, Parenting, Nonfiction, Theology, Religion, Family, Christian Living

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 28, 2025

Reviews

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was one of those books that I’ll have to re-read as a hard copy of because oh my! While listening to Dr. McGowin herself read the book on Audible was lovely, she dropped so many one-liners I wished I had time to properly contemplate. 😅 I feel like whenever someone asked me what I was reading, I never knew how to fully answer because this book covers so much ground - from the capitalist consumer corruption of the family structure to dismantling nostalgic views of the “ideal family” to acknowledging the role imperialism played in separating families in the U.S. - there’s so much!! It’s an essentially a racially informed, socio-political appraisal of families in the U.S. through the lenses of Christian theology. Dr. McGowin also does not shy away from the pain and brokenness that comes with family, sharing vulnerably from her own experiences, while also offering avenues for hope and healing to those harmed by their family dynamics or structures that prevented their families from flourishing. Definitely learned a lot and will certainly be reading again.

[Claire Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wheaton profs are the coolest. Grateful that I get to keep learning from them!!

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very well balanced and well thought out treatment of what is a family and how to live out family as part of the people of God. I appreciated McGowin's dismantling of some comman thoughts about family that are assumed to be Biblical and her explanations of what really is Biblical about family life and family formation.
Her practical suggestions in part 3 were excellent. She is Anglican and that comes through in many places in the book, but her ideas and suggestions work well for any practice of Christian life, not just those in the Anglican tradition.
From a few comments she made in the book, I don't think the author and I have a similar position on political topics, but that was not an issue in reading through this book. I found I really did agree with almost everything she said.
I listened to the audio book which was read by the author and I enjoyed her voice throughout.

[Catherine McNiel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated this book on practicing family in the Kingdom of God. While most books on the topic use phrases like "biblical parenting" or "biblical marriage" in order to market a very modern American ideal, McGowan goes much deeper into what the Bible and the Christian story has to say, and what it might have to do with our life in families.

[Erica · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Rounded up for GR. This is a very well written book with a premise I whole-heartedly embrace - that there is no real “biblical” model for how Christian households or nuclear families ought to function other than to be “apprentices to love”. Much of what we consider “biblical” or “Christian” in relation to family is actual a product of white western Imperial ideologies. Hunter McGowin supports her ideas with ample textual support from scripture and a soundly applied hermeneutic. The theological basis for her vision of Christian households is insightful and thorough. HM takes a broad view of households that includes roommates and single people, who are often disenfranchised by the evangelical church’s glorification of narrowly defined family. The practical ways she suggests families might engage in spiritual practices together include daily prayer, the Eucharist, service, hospitality, and fellowship- and can be achieved by households of various types. Even while telling stories of how her own family has engaged in these pursuits, she maintains a tone of humility and recognizes that there is no ‘one-sized-fit-all-formula’ for how to achieve this end.
A drawback to this book is that is the first third of it reads like a theology textbook. Academically oriented readers will likely find this to be a strength as it has hefty theological support for its assertions and practical advice. I believe other readers may find this dense and inaccessible. Along these lines, the picture HM paints of pursuing faith as a household is also very reflective of academia oriented culture where parents are highly educated and intellectual based achievements are prioritized (kids read books/debate competitively/can engage in discussions about current events/etc). In my experience as an educator, I engage with a sector of the American public where many consider their households to be Christian but whose pursuits are much more activity oriented- competitive youth sports/agricultural programs/work/etc. Whiles this certainly isn’t true for all families, many parents struggle to get their kids (teens especially) to read at all outside of school (many don’t even read themselves). The battle for children and teens’ attention when competing against screens and social media is a huge disruption to the pursuit of family faith practices. This book fails to adequately acknowledge this pervasive reality facing families today, which is unfortunate. I think many readers may feel they can not connect to this book, not because they don’t agree with its premise, but because they don’t see themselves reflected in any of the practical discussion.
Overall, I enjoyed this read. It was lovely (to me) to have an authoritative, academic female voice on the matter. I only wish it were a bit more accessible and relatable to those outside the insular world of academia.

[Corrie Haffly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whatever you might have assumed Households of Faith by Emily McGowin was about, whatever mental picture you have of a "Christian family" that the book might be for - throw them out! Households of Faith defies the ideological boxes that Christians might try to shove it into. First - "household" is a deliberate word choice, as Dr. McGowin's book is not just for families made up of parent(s) and child(ren) but also addresses housemates, roommates, couples, and even singles who live alone, as well as the larger family of God. Second - those who would be all in on reading about Christian family values and Christian parenting might be shell-shocked by Dr. McGowin's clear and compelling discussions that include mention of white supremacy, imperialism, and how a "biblical" family model actually DOES NOT EXIST, but they would have a hard time dismissing McGowin's high view of Scripture and orthodox hermeneutics. All of this makes for an absolutely fascinating and thought-provoking book that would work well for a discussion group (questions included at the end of the book), and I'm 100% behind the main thesis -- that our households can be places where we are each challenged -- invited, rather -- to be apprentices of love. Dr. McGowin shies away from any hard and fast rules or convenient checklists, but she does give some practical ideas and examples for what it could look like to work out a framework of Sabbath, the Eucharist, and baptism in the everyday lives of households of faith. Spoiler alert - it's not legalistic at all.

[Whitney Dziurawiec · Rating 3 out of 5]

content is a 4, my experience with the book is more of a 3. In terms of Christian books about the family it's probably the best one I've read - unfortunately that isn't saying much 😂 as someone not in a liturgical tradition I didn't resonate as much as others might. I really appreciated the grace with which she offered suggestions; she clearly understands how hard it can be to implement spiritual practices as a family. I loved how she describes family as co-apprentices to Love.

books like these are hard for me because I usually just feel shame in the ways that I'm not excelling. even though that's clearly not the intention of the author. probably a conversation for a therapist LOL.

But if someone were to ask me for a recommendation for a book about family this would probably be the only one I could endorse, fwiw

[John Andrew Szott III · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5

A very thoughtful and engaging work that challenges the notion of a biblical family "blueprint." I especially enjoyed her chapters on family practices (Sabbath, Baptism, and Eucharist). Filled with good illustrations and a lot of grace and understanding.

I was surprised (in the earlier chapters) by her polemical tone at times, leading me to want a more charitable engagement with differing positions. At some points, her assertions seem to be taken as the only possible conclusions with minimal engagement with differing viewpoints (the use of or lack thereof... of endnotes certainly didn't help with this impression).

Overall, this is a refreshingly different evangelical take on "Family in the Kingdom of God."

[Bob · Rating 4 out of 5]

Summary: Instead of blueprints of the biblical family, casts a vision of families as apprentices in love together.

Evangelicalism has given families a great amount of attention in recent years. Much of that has come in the forms of models and blueprints for the “ideal” Christian family. Some of this has outlined very specific role expectations for fathers and husbands, wives and mothers and for children. That is not the approach of this book. Emily Hunter McGowin writes:

“With this book, I hope to speak a word to Christian families of all kinds that is neither a rigid, unattainable ideal nor an uncritical, feel-good placebo. I am not promoting a particular blueprint of family to which all Christians are expected to conform, nor am I trying to obliterate the notion of family as outmoded and useless. Instead, I am seeking a new paradigm for the family within the framework of the church and the kingdom of God, rooted in the Scriptures and the best of the church’s traditions, that I hope will be empowering and encouraging as we learn to live as households of faith today” (p. 10)

McGowin begins with a survey of the material on family in scripture. What she finds in the Old Testament is not a particular form (and often some pretty flawed examples). Rather the function of families is epitomized in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 as places where one learns to wholeheartedly love God by keeping his commands. Similarly, while the New Testament sometimes offers versions of Roman society’s household codes, the real goal is how to live as disciples of Jesus within society’s expectations.

Then she focuses on Jesus. Rather than specify gender roles, he calls people first to follow him. Their loyalty to him may divide families. While not obliterating family ties, Jesus cares for his mother as he dies by entrusting her to the Beloved Disciple. This is something new. He is not a family member! Furthermore, Jesus’ preoccupation was with the kingdom of God. In Jesus, it has already come but is not yet consummated. Churches, as households of God reflect, albeit imperfectly, God’s gracious rule in their life and to the world.

So, what then of our biological families? They exist within this larger family that includes singles, the divorced and widowed as well as families with parents (grandparents?) and children. For all, this experience of “family” is toward the goal of forming people as disciples, what McGowin calls “an apprenticeship of love.” This is true for parents and children. Rather than just making children “launchable,” McGowin argue for the priority of forming them as people who are learning to love like Jesus.

Beyond this ideal picture, what does this look like in a fallen world? The second part of the book addresses that question. She addresses honestly the dysfunctions that inflict wounds upon families, both internal and societal. Then she speaks of the hope for healing within the gospel as sin and trauma are faced. Some of these problems are huge. McGowin offers realistic examples of living as apprentices of love; what one can do as one also lives in the “not yet” of Jesus kingdom.

Not all will marry. McGowin devotes a whole chapter to singleness and marriage. She notes the balanced way scripture handles this that honors singleness within God’s household. Then she turns to the challenges of childrearing. She reminds us that children belong to God and themselves rather than being ours. We raise them within a larger family of disciples joined together in this apprenticeship of love. We wonder whether we can do this. The call, she says is not to perfection but faithfulness. And in this, God meets us.

Patterns of practice may help us. Not as blueprints but as rhythms around which family life moves. In her final section, McGowin addresses three sets of practices helpful in forming apprentices of love in family. One is sabbath, which includes getting enough sleep and play and wonder. The second is living in the reality of our baptism. We care for our bodies and places. Baptism calls us into storytelling and timekeeping. Baptism initiates us into a narrative of life. Finally, eucharist bids us into reconciled relationships around table fellowship. We live eucharist in shared meals as family and in hospitality with others as well as ongoing reconciliation

What I appreciate about this book is that it situates the family within the bigger Jesus story. It’s the story of God’s kingdom, both already present and not yet. Rather than rules, roles, and blueprints, McGowin offers an expansive vision. And yet the core idea is simple to express (if not always to practice). Families together (and the whole household of God) are apprentices of love. Jesus wants to form us as people of steadfast, sacrificial, and holy love and there is no better place to learn it than in the school of family life. McGowin’s honesty and her willingness to share both struggles and practices makes this a rich and accessible resource.

____________________

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review.

[Michele Morin · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Households of Faith, Emily Hunter McGowin urges parents to stop looking for a Christian family blueprint, and, instead, to devote themselves to the task of becoming “apprentices to love” together. How would our family dynamics improve if we began with Christ’s command to “love our neighbor,” with our spouses and our children understood to be our nearest and most-loved neighbors? How would our mandate to pass on our faith to the next generation change if all our acts of service, all our ministry goals were motivated by love instead of fear, duty, or the craving for “results?”

Emily and I don’t agree on every point of theology (Who does?), but I found myself wishing I could have read her book in the days when I was responsible for forty fingernails and forty toenails that were not my own. I would have been encouraged by her reassuring voice cheering me on in my effort to cultivate good habits in my kids and then reminding me that “God’s transforming work in our lives is not ultimately under our control.”

In this “time between the times,” we parent, lead our families, and do all our good work of loving in a fallen world. This is especially apparent in McGowin’s chapter on marriage and singleness in which she asserts that both ways of doing life require thoughtfulness. And for parents on the hunt for a “method,” the closest she comes to offering one is convicting (and probably not what they’re looking for):

Ninety percent of discipling children is learning how to disciple ourselves. In other words, most of Christian childrearing involves prayerfully seeking to become the kind of person you want your child to become—to demonstrate the kind of behavior you want to see in your children.”

Ultimately, the church and the family work in partnership to help children and adults to become good citizens of God’s kingdom. Together we put the unique and indispensible love of God on display. “The Christian family’s goal is to be apprentices to love together. Another way to put this is to learn to abide in the love of God.” Come to think of it, this may be the solution to all our questions about living well in “the time between the times.”

[Sarah Poling · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listening to the author read this book was a great experience. The book's author is a college professor, and it definitely is an academic approach, but the author includes experiences and practices from her own home mentioning her children and spouse. So it is warmer and more practical than the first few chapters would lead the reader to think.

The book teaches theology, shares personal experiences from her life, her church community, and other communities she took part in. I appreciate her emphasis on the definition of a biblical family that expands beyond our cultural view or even a traditional religious definition.

Her conclusions about involving others in your regular life and doing life with those not genetically related to you are biblical and in my family are normal. But her history, discussion of Jesus' life and actions, and even church history support were new to me. Listening to the book had the drawback that easily looking up the scripture she referenced and reviewing some of her theological points were not possible, but I caught no glaring concerns.

I enjoy books that make me think, reflect, wonder, and reflect on why I do things the way I do, and how others share these beliefs. I also appreciate the authors' attention to including singles, couples who might not have children, widows, and even people that might differ from you as your family in this life season.

Thankful to IVP and netgalley to listen to the audio version of this brand new book.

[Michael Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Households Of Faith" by Emily McGowin is a great read on practicing family in God's Kingdom. Around 230 pages, the author addresses many topics on the subject, including:

- Being a disciple of Jesus Christ is more important than family loyalty (trying to always do both will result in conflict).

- What God's kingdom is like.

- Humans are created for communion with God, other humans, and with self.

- Tension that can sometimes result from being pro-family and pro-Christianity.

- Various ways sin can impact families.

- Instead of mere outward conformity, we need a deep inward change that comes from the Holy Spirit.

- Tension that can result in expectations to marry or being single.

- Children are full persons and need not be taken advantage of or abused.

-Suggestions for how families can observe a sabbath.

Many things I like about this title:

- Written from a decidedly Christian viewpoint.

- Sensitivity to true Christian believers who do not fit into the "traditional family" but yet are part of God's kingdom.

- Excellent scripture and general indexes and footnotes for further study on topics covered in the book.

- Well-written and easy to understand and smoothly transitions from topic to topic.

- Has an even-handed approach to married and single Christian believers.

Great read and recommended. I was given a review copy by IVP in exchange for a fair review and appreciate the opportunity.

[Marissa Burt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow have I been waiting for this book!

Christian parenting and family life resources can be such a hodgepodge of personal opinion, heavy yoke, and authoritative voices. Dr. Emily Hunter McGowin's book is happily NONE of those things. Instead, McGowin sets out to offer a robust theology of family life by considering the life and teaching of Jesus foremost, as well as the biblical and historical Christian witness. This is markedly different from other "biblical" frameworks, because it reorients the purpose of family away from cultural desires (however understandable) to family as an "apprenticeship to love" and way of bringing the kingdom of God into the world. McGowin writes in a personable way, peppering her chapters with some of her own experiences as a child and a parent, but none of this is prescriptive - instead it's offered as a point of connection with the end effect that readers are invited into a spacious and freeing framework to embrace the vocation of family.

I am so glad to have this book to recommend to wary people who aren't quite sure they want to give Christian family life books another chance. This one is worth your while! And special bonus for the diverse scholarship McGowin sources; it was refreshing to hear perspectives from a wide variety of backgrounds.

[Sarah K · Rating 4 out of 5]

Households of Faith by Emily Hunter McGowin was an interesting, informative book. An exploration of what families can be, this book incorporated scripture, theology, and the author's family practices to present ideas for following Christ as a family. Though I did not agree with all her thoughts and perspectives I did find this a helpful book and one I will apply in my own family life. This book was well written, and a good blend of challenging and accessible material. The beginning chapters challenge the idea of what family can be, encouraging American believers to expand their notion of family from the typical parents and child unit to a larger context, everything from singles to extended families to friend-formed families. The last three chapters were very practical, with many ideas for incorporating practices of the church into daily life as a family.

Thank you to NetGalley, the author, and the publisher for the ARC. All opinions are my own.

[Heidireadsitall · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to Households of Faith in audio format, narrated by the author Emily Hunter McGowin, who did an excellent job. I also followed along with the ebook version, allowing me to highlight memorable quotes.

I appreciated how Emily kept the book Christ-centered, consistently referencing scripture in her thoughts and reasoning.

This book is a valuable resource for parents navigating the challenges of raising children in today’s world. It serves as a reminder that we don’t own our children; they are not commodities or replicas of ourselves—they belong to God.

A new perspective on what a family can be, extending beyond the conventional American family model.

Thank you to NetGalley and IVP for the ARC audio book and ebook.

[Hannah Lampman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book found me at the perfect time! It was a breath of fresh air, providing a fresh point of view from the author. The book explores what it means to be a family Biblically in today's world when there tends to be more chaos than calm. Emily digs deep into what family means to her and the practices she uses as a Christian to practice the kingdom of God within her family. She invites you to explore family without the ideology of a "traditional family" and challenges how this is an outdated concept. Nothing truly is better than being a part of the kingdom of God!

[Rasool Berry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Refreshingly honest and historical perspective on Families

This is not the typical book on family. It reviews and critiques the ways cultural assumptions have imposed themselves in the church in many treatments on “The Biblical Family.” Reflecting on the Americanness of many of our imaginations, Emily McGowin then contrasts the cultural paradigms with the biblical vision. The practical steps at the end are much more robust than the titles suggest. Very helpful content.

[Mark Youngkin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. McGowin's latest book, the first of hers that I have read, is a thoughtful overview of how families can reflect the Kingdom of God. I'll be referring to this often, both for a class in family ministry I've developed and for nuggets that will fit into other classes I teach. Dr. McGowin writes much better than most academics, and is generous in relating examples from her own family. Highly recommended.

[Dorothy Greco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emily Hunter McGowin has a gift for helping readers breathe new life into familiar spiritual practices and beliefs. She teaches us how to be 'apprentices of love' as we create dynamic households of faith. I wish I had this book thirty years ago when I was raising my sons! It's a very fresh and insightful approach to parenting.

[Paul D. Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Households of Faith is a tour de force in helping us shape a thoroughly biblical and pastorally rich model of family. She offers a highly practical, deeply personal, and exceedingly relevant theology of family that resonates with inspired Scripture and with everyday life. Now that’s a winning combination!

[Marty Duren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent work by Dr McGowin. A thorough examination of what “family” means biblically with encouraging theological insight and practical ideas for all families from single adults to multi-generational.

[Jess Lyons · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a refreshing book. So much freedom and hope for life in community - in families and individual households, in friendship, and in our faith communities. So thankful for this rich book.

[Brandon Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars // good overall. Repetitive in parts and a little hard to follow how all the pieces put together.

Households discern and improvise how to do family in light of the gospel.

[Jamie Desai · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m thankful that I was warned against a lot of the harmful and irrelevant books on marriage and family early on, even though those teachings seeped into my learning from church and my formative community.

That being said, I recommend Dr. McGowin’s book to anyone and everyone in any life stage. Regardless of your marital or parental status or your desire to change them, this book has something for you!