No Filters: a mother and teenage daughter love story

by Christie Watson, Rowan Egberongbe

How can we communicate when things are so painful? How can we connect when generational differences are extreme? How do parents and teenagers - and all of us - have real conversations?

When Rowan was sixteen, she only tolerated communication from her mother in the form of Snapchat. Desperate to be closer to her daughter, Christie sent daily selfies of her face superimposed onto a chicken nugget. It took serious illness for them to finally talk – and truly listen.

Rowan's mental health struggles revealed the chasm between their generations. They started being more honest with each other than they had ever been discussing identity, race and gender; opening up about disordered eating and self-harm; navigating the perils of social media.

In an age of polarisation, this is how a mother and daughter find humour in the things that divide them and become more hopeful about the future of our world.

A book for all parents and teenagers going through a tough time, for friends, grandparents, teachers and healthcare professionals who want to help, its bare honesty will have you laughing – and possibly crying – out loud as it shows that you are not alone.

151 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 16, 2025

About the author

Christie Watson is a professor of medical humanities at UEA, and worked as an NHS nurse for over twenty years. She has written six books, including her first novel, Tiny Sunbirds Far Away, which won the Costa First Novel Award, and the memoir, The Language of Kindness, which was a number one Sunday Times bestseller. Christie is a contributor to the Times, the Sunday Times, the Guardian, the Telegraph, and TEDx, and her work has been translated into twenty-three languages and adapted for theatre. Moral Injuries, her latest novel, is publishing March 14th (UK) and June (US).

Reviews

[leah · Rating 3 out of 5]

through the lens of their mother-daughter relationship, this is a little book of essays discussing mental illness, gender, the climate crisis, generational differences, race, class, social media etc.

i’m no longer a teenager but i’m also not a parent, so as someone in the middle it was really interesting to read from both perspectives. i could relate a lot to rowan’s experiences from my own teenage years and just her general angst, and also understandable anger, at the world. but as i’ve grown up i can definitely understand the anxieties christie (the mother) is facing as she navigates parenting in our current world (sounds like a nightmare which is why i will be putting it off for as long as possible!). if you’re a chronically online mentally ill gen z like me, the discussions weren’t ground-breaking stuff, but i’d definitely recommend this to people who are struggling with mental illness within their families, i think it’d be very comforting to read about others going through a similar experience.

[Treen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book! Such an original style to have mother-daughter authors. In the book, they each explore how Rowan’s poor mental health affected them as individuals and their relationship. I also found in interesting and very relatable how they would describe the same experience very differently. Although they share their personal stories, I think there’s so much insight that we can all benefit from. It reminds us what it is to be human.

[Jillwilson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book explores the relationship between a middle-aged mother and teenage Rowan who is navigating mental health issues and various facets of their identity such as race and gender. It takes the form of short chapters written by each in response to what is happening, interspersed by funny little text exchanges and other forms of communication. Some of the themes include that of nature/nurture, disordered eating, gender, social media, race, existential threats, and class. This sounds heavy – but they are personal reflections on how these topics influence the lives of the two correspondents.

I don’t have many teenagers in my life at the moment – but was interested to read about the rise of ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) and other behaviours. This book includes a statistic for Britain – in 2017 rates of probable mental disorders affected 10% of young people aged from 17 to 19 years. In 2023, that figure was 23.3%. It went on to say that no one can explain why there is this increase but the pandemic and social media are often cited as factors. I don’t know what the statistics would be like for Australia but imagine that they are similar.

It explores the pain of a parent trying to support a teenager who has significant mental health problems and raises questions such as How can we communicate when things are so painful? How can we connect when generational differences are extreme? How do parents and teenagers - and all of us - have real conversations?
It would be a good book to read if you had teenagers in your life.

[Shania · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such an important read.
A book that covers various mental health topics from a mother daughter perspective.
The different point of views (mum vs daughter) is so good to read. I also think the way its covers so many important mental health topics and themes is so so important. I often criticise books when they cover so much, as I feel like it often misses important information, but the way it was summarised and covered- with the focus on Rowans and Christies lived experience makes it so succinct and capturing. Being drawn in by someone’s experiences and their bravery to share their loved experience is such a unique way to educate reader. I think it does a brilliant job at addressing the differences between the younger and ‘older’ generation.
It’s such an important book and hope it’ll receive the attention it deserves.

[Becky Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good book, I don’t have any teenagers yet but I do have kids so I feel like this is really good to prepare with. I also work with teenagers who have experienced all of the topics covered and now feel like I need to challenge and reflect on some of my own unconscious bias more when supporting them.
Will recommend to anybody I speak with.
Well done Rowan and Christie you are both so brave to share an honest account of the world we live in.

[Anggi · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a beautiful and heartfelt memoir about a relationship between a mother and her daughter. It provides an example of how imperfect yet deep and lasting a bond between them can be.

It will definitely provide much needed comfort for parents who are struggling to have a good relationship with their teenage daughter or son. It can also offer a salve for teens who feel misunderstood by their parents.

[Jasmin Kern · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this to be a pretty emotional (yet comforting?) read because it reflects so much of my own experience in middle/high school and the disconnect between my feelings and my actions, in particular towards my parents, esp my mom. Still, I wanted more of the characters and their lives and stories. Easy read.

[Maddie Barnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing book for daughters and mothers. It really delves into mental health, race, and how the older generation view our generation. It helps understand this relationship and bond between mothers and their teens. A very interesting read !!!!

[Lara Kern · Rating 4 out of 5]

Made me appreciate my mom so much and the relationship between us - worth the read for every girl/woman with a close but previously or currently complicated relationship with their mother

[Stacey Bookerworm · Rating 2 out of 5]

dnf

[Amy Goldman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to the authors on a podcast and then downloaded the audiobook. This was an interesting but difficult listen in places.