Human, Flawed, Forgiven: Letting Go of Blame and Resentment Toward Your Parents

by Selma J. Geis

Human, Flawed, Forgiven is a transformative guide that delves into the complex journey of forgiveness for one's parents. The narrative is structured to help readers understand that while parents are inherently flawed—as all humans are—holding onto anger and blame is a self-imposed burden that serves no purpose. It emphasizes that forgiveness is a gift one gives to oneself, a crucial step toward healing and building a healthier, happier life.

Through personal anecdotes, psychological insights, and practical advice, the author navigates the reader through the powerful process of shifting outward blame toward inward responsibility. The book posits that forgiveness is an internal process, one that does not require the participation or even awareness of the person being forgiven. It's a powerful reminder that we have the strength and the right to choose forgiveness at any moment, for our own sake, and to live life to its fullest, free from the past.

Genres: Nonfiction

159 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 13, 2024

Reviews

[Book Reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Human, Flawed, Forgiven by Selma J. Geis is a thought-provoking exploration of forgiveness and self-compassion. The book delves into the emotional and psychological aspects of forgiveness, providing readers with practical advice and exercises to help them navigate the complex journey of letting go of past hurts. Through a blend of personal anecdotes, psychological insights, and actionable steps, Geis guides readers toward understanding the importance of forgiveness for personal growth and mental well-being.

One of the standout aspects of this book is its emphasis on self-compassion as a foundational element of forgiveness. Geis articulates this beautifully, especially in the chapters focusing on acknowledging one's pain and destructive behaviors. She provides a compassionate framework that encourages readers to recognize their own worth and to approach their mistakes with kindness rather than judgment. This approach not only fosters personal healing but also promotes healthier relationships with others. Geis’s writing is both engaging and informative. Her use of personal stories adds depth and relatability to the psychological concepts discussed. For instance, her chapter on "Breaking the Cycle" emphasizes the importance of mindful actions and self-awareness in creating healthier emotional patterns. The practical exercises included in this section, such as mindfulness techniques and emotional regulation strategies, are particularly useful for readers looking to implement these ideas in their daily lives.

Human, Flawed, Forgiven is a valuable read for anyone interested in personal development and emotional healing. Geis’s compassionate and practical approach makes the complex process of forgiveness accessible and relatable. This book is especially recommended for those who are struggling with past hurts and are seeking a path toward self-compassion and forgiveness. Whether you are dealing with personal guilt or hurt inflicted by others, Geis’s insights offer a roadmap to emotional freedom and peace.

[David James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Human: Flawed and Forgiven is about learning to let go of resentment towards your parents and practicing forgiveness. The book spends a lot of time explaining what forgiveness is and isn't, as well as how to actually do it.

I was pleased that the author encourages you to confront the painful memories that caused the hurt, so you are not hiding from them. Also, the book does a very nice job of discussing in detail the process of forgiveness, including the role of boundaries.

I underlined a lot in the book (I have a paperback edition), particularly in Chapter 2, which explained that forgiveness is not reconciliation. Also, Chapter 5 started with a very important statement: some people believe that they can't set boundaries with family members simply because they are family. The chapter goes on to explain not only why you need boundaries, particularly with family members, but how to create them while acknowledging that doing so is not easy.

It would have been very easy to breeze past this topic, but the author gets it. This is hard but important stuff, and she gives actual examples of what to say. For example, the author suggests that if your family is pressuring you to attend an event you don’t want to go to, you can say, "I can't make this event, but I'd love to get dinner together next week."

The book has many examples like that. It moves into a detailed discussion on compassion and putting yourself in your parents' shoes.

From there, it moves into chapters about breaking the cycle and moving forward. This is a very serious book about dealing honestly with anger towards parents. If you struggle with that, this is a good book to start with.

[Steven Finkelstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

To be human is to be flawed. However, this is something that is difficult for some individuals to accept. That is particularly true for people who harbor ongoing resentment toward their parents. Very few parents make no mistakes with their kids. As adults, it can tough to let go of perceived missteps that your parents made that impacted who you grew up to be.

You often need to let go of those feelings for your own sake, though, if not for your current relationship with your parents. This is a book that explains how you might do that. Anyone who is reluctant to go to therapy but still has deep-seated issues with their parents would do well to read it. It gives you some insight into what your life might look like if you only let go of the bitter feelings that continue to plague you.

[Claudia Sibesteanu · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book surprised me in the best way. It’s not just another self-help title — it’s an emotionally honest, psychologically grounded journey into understanding childhood pain and finally breaking free from it. The author combines personal experience with clear explanations, practical steps, and a gentle tone that makes even the heaviest topics feel approachable.

What I loved most is how validating the writing is. It doesn’t minimize your pain or push forced positivity; instead, it helps you understand your emotions, reconnect with your own power, and move toward forgiveness in a way that feels realistic and empowering. If you’re ready to heal old wounds and reclaim your emotional freedom, this book is a beautiful place to start.

[Tonya S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Human, Flawed, Forgiven is about the process of healing through the practice of forgiveness. One does have to be ready for this. The effect of holding onto anger, resentment and regret only holds us back and doesn’t allow us to be our true authentic selves as it taints our personal and professional relationships. Many people think forgiveness means accepting what someone else did as being okay and it doesn’t, it doesn’t condone one’s actions in the least. The author helps readers through the process of forgiveness and what it really means in order to heal, and in order to be the person you are truly meant to be.

[Peter Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clear and practical

This book is straightforward and easy to follow. It covers boundaries, forgiveness, and rebuilding relationships in a clear, organized way, without trying to overwhelm the reader.

The chapters are well structured, with explanations followed by practical examples and reflection questions. The tone stays calm and supportive, and the ideas are explained simply, without sounding preachy or exaggerated.

It works well as a guide you can return to, rather than something you need to read all at once. Overall, it’s a practical and thoughtful resource for anyone working through family relationships and personal boundaries.

[Kev Chilton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential Reading For Those Who Have Experienced Dysfunctional Parents(s)

“Human, Flawed, Forgiven” is a comprehensive guide that will help individuals overcome complex psychological problems caused by having seriously flawed parent(s). The book is effective because the author, Geis, shares her personal experience and genuine dedication in creating a valuable resource for those facing similar challenges. It is clear Geis has poured her heart and soul into this book after walking the same path, making it essential reading for others in similar situations.

Recommended!

[Alberto BC · Rating 5 out of 5]

You are not alone if you still blame your parents for something they did during your childhood. Fortunately, this book helps you to understand the mindset of forgiveness, since being resentful or bitter with them is not really helping you in life. This book could be life-changing for you since you can find the keys to forgiving your parents, moving on feelings of rage and resentment, discover how you can transform your life having healthier relationships and how you could communicate your feelings more effectively.

[Juli · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me look at forgiveness in a different way. It shows that forgiveness is not about others, but about your own peace. That idea really stayed with me.
I liked how the author explains difficult emotions in a simple way. The steps are clear and feel realistic, not just theory. The part about setting boundaries was especially useful.
Some ideas repeat a bit, but it also helps them stay in your mind. Overall, this is a calm and honest guide for anyone who wants to let go of the past.

[Maria Paula Castellanos Monroy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great reading

I found this book very insightful and healing. It made me realize how much resentment I was holding onto. The author explains things in a simple and clear way. I liked how it focuses on forgiveness for our own sake. The book gave practical steps to let go of anger and blame. It made me feel lighter and more at peace. This book is a great read for anyone struggling with issues from their past. I highly recommend it for its powerful and uplifting message.

[Raun Reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Five stars from me. “Human, Flawed, Forgiven” is a simple but powerful read that helped me understand my parents and my own emotions with more clarity and compassion. It’s honest, practical, and surprisingly freeing. I walked away feeling lighter.

The cover fits the message perfectly. The soft design with a single feather creates a calm, peaceful feeling to go along with the tone of the book. It sets your mood even before opening it.

Highly recommended.

[Daniel M · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learnt the importance of forgiving

Forgiving and/or talking about forgiveness is a difficult topic, this book helped me understand beyond how to forgive, but also how to heal. I learnt the importance of forgiving things from the past to heal those wounds. Definitely, a book that I highly recommend for those who are tormented by the past.

[Petros · Rating 5 out of 5]

A clear and compassionate book for anyone ready to stop dragging old pain into the present. It does not excuse harm or romanticize forgiveness, but shows how to release resentment without losing self-respect. Practical, emotionally mature, and focused on real internal freedom, not clichés. A solid tool for breaking patterns and moving forward.

[Anthony Treistman · Rating 5 out of 5]

She talks a lot about the difference between understanding your parents and excusing them. Forgiveness is not romanticized which i see as the critical point that made me like this book. The point of argument that resentment just rottens your soul and i agree with that. Some of the stories shared i really related to.

[Tim Tuohy · Rating 5 out of 5]

If, like me, you have had a terrible experience with a parent and you are struggling to find forgiveness, then Human, Flawed, Forgiven will certainly help you with this challenge ... it certainly did for me. This book empowered me to approach my mother and gte back onto speaking terms after years of silence between us.

[Cara Bramlett · Rating 5 out of 5]

childhood healing

This book offers a way to heal from childhood wounds and trauma through an undertone of compassion. It helped to understand the impact of my past and how it plays into the present.

[Kaizen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thought it might be one of those just forgive and move on books, but its a bit more thoughtful than that. I liked that it talks about boundaries too, not just forgiveness. Some parts felt a little heavy for me, but overall it gave me a lot to think about