Tropes: friends to lovers, secret relationship, roommates, teammates
Feels: 3.5/5
Steam*: 1.5/5
Kinks: n/a
Angst: medium
HEA: yes
Pairing: MM
Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: hate crime, homophobia, abusive parent, injury
3.5 stars, rounding up
This review contains spoilers.
Sammy and Bentley have been the bestest of best friends and teammates all through college. They live in each other's pockets, there are no boundaries between them, they are codependent. Sammy has been hiding something from his past, he's secretly gay but when he was 15 his dad caught him with a boy and beat the boy nearly to death and is now in jail. Sammy hasn't done anything sexual since. Bentley has always thought he was straight but his closeness with Sammy is making him rethink it. In junior year, Sammy while drunk loses his control and makes a move on Bentley. They hook up. Sammy who was really struggling with his sexuality and past trauma, can't confront what they're doing, he can't talk about it. But Sammy keeps getting the two of them drunk or at least making them seem like they're drunk so that he can have the excuse to hook up with Bentley and pretend it didn't happen or that he didn't remember it happening. They continue this circle into senior year. But then they finally start talking and addressing what's going on and how they feel. But Sammy's dad is up for parole and the dad has threatened Sammy's life because he's extremely homophobic and wants to scare Sammy straight or punish him for being gay. So they have that to deal with.
This was an okay book. There were things that I liked about it and there were things that I didn't.
I liked the codependent friendship that Sammy and Bentley shared, I like characters that are as close as they were. They had a really deep friendship, they loved each other so hard before it was even sexual. I liked elements of them having a secret relationship. The tension of sneaking around, the reveal when people finally find out that they're together has payoff. The reveals to their close family, their friend groups, their coach were great. They got married in college, and in a moment I'll say why I didn't like that but in a way I also appreciate the early commitment to their forever love. I liked the supportive characters in their family and friend groups.
What I didn't like...
- I was uncomfortable with them hooking up while drunk only and never talking about it for a whole 7 months. That was so long. That was so toxic and unhealthy for them to be doing, and it wasn't fair to Bentley that Sammy played this charade. Granted Sammy was doing it because he was struggling with his sexuality and he mentally was not ready so I understood that it wasn't that Sammy wasn't a****** or a player or a commitment-phobe.
- I hated how fast they moved the first time they really talked about deep s**** and acknowledged that they were in a relationship and wanted to be in that relationship. In that very first conversation, they said I love you and Sammy asked Bentley to marry him and Bentley said yes. I'm a person that has sensitivity to mental health issues and I'm protective of people who are vulnerable. So as I was reading this, my gut reaction was that this was very inappropriate, Sammy was not in a good place and him leaping from one extreme to another is dangerous to indulge. I thought Bentley should have said not now and they needed to talk more and maybe Sammy needed to see somebody professionally.
- I was disappointed that their first time together was completely fade to black/closed door. For me, the first time that two characters have sex together is an important culmination of the sexual tension between them. And with us not getting to see that moment where the sexual tension between them finally broke, it just feels like we missed out.
- A minor thing that bugged me was that the tropes of this book listed virgin MCs, and only Sammy was. I was slightly disappointed that we didn't get two virgins equally pining over each other for 3 years. Don't label your tropes incorrectly, I would have been happier reading it without that mislabel creating an expectation.
- I liked that the epilogue took us to them at age 35, but I wish we'd seen more of their lives at 35 than just their career development. I'd like to have seen what their friendships looks like because found family with their roommates and teammates were so important to the book series.
Also I'm not putting this under the positives or the negatives but this book gives off really strong fade to black vibes in the sex scenes. Some things are completely fade to black. There is some on page sex but be on page sex is over very fast, it's not that sensual. So if good smut is important to you this is a low smut read.
Some notable moments:
Funny "“The whole fucking household is riding the queer train.” A smile pulls up my lips, feeling so fucking good. “How epic is that?” My brows shoot high when I think about what Tyron said in the car. Fuck, was that seriously just a couple of mornings ago? “Tyron’s got that statistic he spouted about so damn wrong. Five of us on the team.” I snicker, falling into the familiar sensation of ease. “He’s going to lose his shit and compile his own study or something.”"
Their poor coach has been through it lol. "“Fucking hell.” Another headshake. “Married? It totally makes sense… that’s the thing.” He doubles down with amusement, a wide grin forming. “It’s a shame you’re going to wait till graduation. I swear, missing out on Coach’s reaction is a pity.” I snort. “Screw you, man. It may be the final queer straw that breaks the coach’s back.”"
*FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink.
**Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers.