Therapy Session: poems from the black hole in my chest

by M.D. Robins

“I got a bit better with time,
the numbness almost left completely,
but I still react in bursts—
and all I feel is something festering”


“Therapy Session” explores how trauma can haunt the human psyche and wades into the depths of personal suffering.

In this debut poetry collection told in free verse, M.D. Robins reflects on their life since childhood, from the perspective of early adulthood. As a neurodiverse queer person living with chronic illness and disability, they challenge the harmful standards forced on them in the past. In this cathartic and emotional collection, vulnerable language shines light on a betrayed heart and the visceral misery of self-destruction.

Healing and strength grow slowly throughout Robins’ delicate word choice that tentatively grasps for happiness and yearns for a better future.

Genres: Poetry

76 pages, Paperback

Published April 27, 2024

About the author

M.D. Robins is a queer and disabled author. They go through life a day at a time, trying to heal from past experiences while writing their trauma into poems and their hopes into novels.

Reviews

[Rhys · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received a copy from the author*

How do I put into words how this made me feel SEEN? This poetry collection is one I don’t want to rate, but because Goodreads and Amazon prefer to push reviews with a star rating, this gets a 5, without a DOUBT.

Poetry collections are some of my favourites, and this is 100% a favourite of all time. If I tried to pull all the poems that made me feel seen, it’s probably going to be like 25 out of the 31 poems included. THATS how much this poetry collection made me feel seen and worthy.

I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety from therapists and a psychiatrist. However, I do think I have either ADHD or am autistic (or both) but the process for adults to get diagnosed in Canada? I don’t want that process. PLUS my family still believe the common misconceptions that ADHD means you’re lazy, and autism means you’re childish and you’re ’low functioning’ (I’ve tried educating them since I had a psychology minor, almost a major, in my undergrad, but they didn’t want to listen). The poems in here regarding mental health SPOKE to me in ways I’ve never experienced before. Oh my GOD.

Poem 18, “Grandparents // Grief”, hit hard. (This passage is about their maternal grandma)

“…the worst part wasn’t that she wasn’t there anymore,
the worst part was that she died alone…”

I just about bawled in the car at work. My granny (my paternal granny) died in 2021 alone in her apartment (yesterday was 3 years since that day, so this hit extra hard). Her autopsy said that she died of a heartache early in the morning. She lived in Manitoba, we live in Alberta (we saw her often), but my uncle and auntie (also in Manitoba) could feel something was wrong when she didn’t reply to their texts or answer their calls. They went to her apartment together, and found her. I remember vividly waking up that morning, and just immediately felt something wrong in my gut. When I heard my mom’s voice upstairs, I KNEW something was wrong (she works days and it was a weekday). When my mom said my granny died, I was too in shock to cry. And reading that MD Robins didn’t cry when they got the news of their grandma, I knew I wasn’t alone in not crying from shock. Grief does different things to different people, and knowing I wasn’t alone in the fact that I couldn’t cry hearing my granny was gone? It’s a weight off my chest.

I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend this poetry collection.

[Jackson’s Books & Music · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the honor of editing this raw and emotional poetry collection! M.D. Robins is an excellent poet. I think many readers people will identify with the subjects covered in this collection. It definitely moved me!

[Blue · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are a multitude of trigger warnings associated with this poetry collection, so I would advise finding them on the author's Instagram page rather than me trying to list them all.
☆
☆
Sometimes with novels and works of prose, I find that if there are trigger warnings, instead of warning me against picking the book up, I'm more likely to read them. And I think the reason behind this is that certain topics and ideas make me feel seen, validated and understood in my experiences.
~
One particular poem really stuck with me, and that's the 'Who Can I Talk To' poem. And one particular verse really made sense to me.
"Typing a text,
my fingers hover over the screen,
maybe they’re busy
they probably don’t want to hear from me
they won’t care about my random thoughts
they might get annoyed by my question"
~
Overall, I think these poems were well worth the read, and for anyone who has experienced similar things, you may relate to some of these poems.
•
Thank you to BookSirens and author M.D Robins for sending me an ARC copy of this book.

[Yvon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was not prepared to awaken my fears, insecurities and traumas through someone else's lense. It hit back home, hard.
And I appreciate the author for sharing such vulnerable thoughts and experiences with the world. In the end, it gave me hope that our lives aren't meaningless, just bcz of our struggles. That we can still pursue our personal goals and that the path to healing is still a viable option, be it full of obstacles.

[des · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poetry either resonates with you or doesn't, this very much did. With a lot of the poems I felt like it was something I could have written (if I could actually write)

Of course not everything since the author and I probably have different experiences but the way they wrote about so many subjects really hit home to me.

Loved the writing style, it's simple but not too simple, because sometimes poetry can be that (and that's okay)

Absolutely loved this in a painful but also beautiful way.

*I received an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

[D.A. Charles · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciated reading M. D. Robins’ Therapy Session. I can’t use the word “enjoyed”—as a survivor of child abuse it was an emotional experience for me on a visceral level—simple verses with such deep meaning. So relatable.

I’m giving Therapy Session all five of my stars.

I applaud the author for sharing such personal pieces of their life, knowing how difficult it is to dredge such emotion from the depths of your soul. I hope Therapy Session was cathartic for them. I love the hope I found in their bio.

One day at a time, one day book at a time—write on, M. D., I’ll be watching for more of your work.

I wish you healing and hope.

[Sherilyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it! So raw and absolutely full of deep and heart-wrenching emotion. My favorite pieces were Music and Mom. I saw a lot of myself and it made me feel less alone, even if it was just for a breath. Thank you <3

[Ailey | Bisexual Bookshelf · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you so much to the author for the gifted copy!

Therapy Session: Poems from the Black Hole in My Chest by M.D. Robins is a poignant and introspective collection that delves into the complexities of mental illness, disability, queerness, and nonbinary identity. Through their raw and candid verses, Robins navigates the turbulent waters of trauma, seeking understanding and healing. This debut collection is a testament to the cathartic power of poetry, offering a deeply personal glimpse into the speaker's struggle to reconcile with their past and find a semblance of peace.

Robins's writing style is characterized by its vulnerability and intimacy. The use of free verse and minimalist language creates a confessional tone that invites readers to connect with the speaker’s emotional landscape. The poems are filled with evocative imagery and deliberate word choice, highlighting the stark contrasts between hope and despair. In lines like "Can I talk to myself? / No, / I don’t want to hear from me either," the poet captures the pervasive sense of self-doubt and inner conflict that permeates the collection.

The themes of Therapy Session revolve around trauma, self-exploration, and the struggle for healing. Robins delves into the pain of personal suffering, the quest for self-acceptance, and the impact of social expectations on a neurodivergent, queer person with chronic illness. The poems reflect a journey through darkness, acknowledging the weight of emotional scars while tentatively reaching for moments of clarity and hope. The recurring motifs of loneliness, identity, and resilience underscore the poet’s ongoing battle with self-doubt and the pursuit of a meaningful existence.

Therapy Session is a powerful debut collection that leaves a lasting impact. Poems like "Childish," "Surrender," and "Red Hair" stand out, resonating deeply thanks to Robins’s blend of vulnerability and strength. These poems are a celebration of the validating power of art, whether in its creation or consumption. This collection is a must-read for anyone seeking an authentic and emotive exploration of trauma and healing. I eagerly anticipate M.D. Robins’s next book, as their voice is a crucial addition to the literary landscape.

📖 Recommended For: Readers who resonate with introspective and raw poetry, those interested in exploring the intersections of mental illness, queerness, and disability, anyone who values heartfelt and candid reflections on trauma and healing.

🔑 Key Themes: Trauma and Healing, Self-Exploration and Identity, Mental Illness and Disability, Queerness and Nonbinary Identity, Resilience and Hope.

Content / Trigger Warnings: Expertly provided by the author in the introduction!

[KT · Rating 2 out of 5]

it feels like i just read someone's diary when i wasn't supposed to