Bouncy

DNF Bookstore: A Shared World

by B. Sobjakken

The cringiest book you'll ever read....

Acacia is a horny, but virgin, gym receptionist obsessed with watching her well-endowed boss do his jump rope routines. When she finally decides to take matters into her own hands, her failing attempts at seduction leave much to be desired.

Callum has been trying to keep professional boundaries with the quirky girl leading his front desk. But when she crosses the line first, all bets are off and he's going to show her what he's willing to do to keep her.

Genres: Novella, Romance, Smut, Erotica, Contemporary Romance, Contemporary, Workplace Romance

134 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 9, 2024

Reviews

[Christina (stinarinareads) · Rating 2 out of 5]

reading this with severe secondhand embarrassment is my Olympic sport

[Medollga · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was warned it would be cringe, so joke's on me tbh, but I didn't except the cringe part to be in the language department 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

A few glorious examples found here:

- chocolate starfish for butthole 🆘
- bingo button for clit 🤔
- fun bags a.ka. woman's breasts 👌
- boobie broth breast milk 🙈
- intruding worm for a dick in action ☠️😭

I look at the rating of this book and think that I'm in a parallel universe somewhere, because everyone seems to vibe with this kind of phrases in a smut book 🤷🏼‍♀️😕

[Alexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was silly and fun!!! also so many new phrases are now in my vocabulary to describe the nether regions. my favorite? whisker biscuits

[april ♡ probably reading smut - safety reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5. Read this if you want to laugh. 😆

FAVORITE QUOTES:
-Every jump swung the giant schlong between his legs, leaving nothing to the imagination about his weapon of mass vaginal destruction.

-“I’d like to munch your krabby patty.”

-“You’re talking about my lady garden? The one I grow organically between my legs?”

-“I’d have to shave the hair around your other hole too. You’ll feel the weeds in front of your mud dungeon if it’s not pruned as well.”

-“Then lemme shave your stink wrinkle first, and then I’ll have my buffet of muff pie.”

-I nod, arching my hips so the crown of His Majesty slides down my unprotected pink palace.

-My eyes widen at the noise so similar to flatulence even though I know for a fact my buttcheeks aren’t flapping.
Tears water in my eyes as I blink up at him. “That wasn’t… I didn’t-“
“Shhh, baby,” he says, his hand pressing down on my lower stomach. He surges forward another inch. “Your tight, tiny canal is emptying for me. It’s my victory horn.”

-His pace is relentless, I barely hear the second fart-like noise over the slapping of our skin. I don’t have time to feel humiliated as Callie groans,
“Fuck, keep that pussy tootin’. Make room for my baby gravy, love.”

-My lady cavern tightens around the invading worm.

-“I’m already hard again just at the thought of the smashed cherry bits smeared all over me. I’ll be patient before plowing your field, I don’t want to damage my favorite crop.”

-“Forced that Pringle can up your hooha.”

-“My gentleman’s relish I stuffed you full of.”

-“I’m gonna fill you with my milky offering and you’re gonna accept it. Give me our spawn as promised.”

-“One day soon, these are going to leak with boobie broth and I’m gonna guzzle it down all day.”

FAVORITE PHRASES & WORDS:
-white, man sludge splatter
-untouched honeypot
-aching meat
-shrinking squirt gun
-venom that spewed from his trouser snake
-jizz
-whisker biscuit
-puffy meat curtain
-cooter
-little chocolate starfish
-twat waffle
-bulb of his jumbo pecker
-gummy passage

I loved this so much. 😆😆

[Steph (Teacups & Tropes) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Look.

I want to give this one star because WHAT THE FUCK

But literally the whole point of this series is to be as cringey as possible and B NAILED IT. I was like “oh this isn’t bad at all” in the first half but then she came with the cringe and DIDNT STOP.

👏🏻

Love you girl.

[Mysti · Rating 5 out of 5]

First.... if you're reading this looking for "romance" - did you not look at the freaking cover?! Why do people read books like this and then give them a bad rating?!?! People are stupid. Anyway....

This was HILARIOUSLY awful smut. Every single genitalia reference you can think of is in this book.

Acacia (virgin) is lucky to have a BFF like Malissa to help her out when she wants to know how to seduce their boss. Callum (gym owner) has the hots for her too so it doesn't take much convincing. Lots of BJs, shaving, queefs, etc. happen. It's fun, hilarious, and a tad bit sexy.

Out of all the hilariously cringe worthy moments, it was the damn nose that I hated. 8 nose scrunches/nose crinkles. I don't know why the fuck B. Sobjakken likes noses so much but Jesus Christ, slow it down a little. It's in all of her books.

Here are some fun references you have to look forward to:

boobie broth (breastmilk)
gentlemen’s relish (cum)
manroot (cock)
life sap (cum)
stink wrinkle (asshole)
muff pie (vagina)
puffy meat curtain (vagina)

[sanne ♥ (sann_reads)]

this one almost seems normal in comparison to the other two i’ve read? 🤔

[dnf series reading challenge with my unhinged besties romy & mimi]

[Grapie Deltaco]

I’m not doing too well, folks

[thebeespot72 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Drum roll, please. The winner of all things cringe is Author B. Sobjakken. I’m not sure she wants it, but I’m giving it to her because “Bouncy” had it all. I’ve read my fair share of cringy books that were not intentional, and I wanted to DNF or did. “Bouncy” is part of the DNF Series, in which every short story by various authors is intentionally written with cringy themes. Yes, intentionally. I thought I was up for the test with “Bouncy.” After several pauses, deep breaths, palms to the forehead, and breaks, I did get through the story. I’d call that a success.

Acaia—yes, that’s her name—and Callum work together at a gym. She’s the hard-up virgin, and he’s the well-endowed boss that she watches jumping rope. The dialogue between them and Acaia and her friend Malissa will make readers laugh. B. Sobjakken’s sense of humor and creativity shines through in “Bouncy,” which I love.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

The amount secondhand embarrassment in this book was HIGH, just like the rating. Honestly, it was exactly what I needed and wanted out of this book.

[Lu · Rating 1 out of 5]

I know it was supposed to be the most cringey book ever, but damn. I was not expecting that the cringe part was the vocabulary used. The author was right. Cringiest book ever lol. Congrats to the author for achieving what she wanted!

[Camilla · Rating 5 out of 5]

I both hated and loved every word in this cringy af novella. Seriously. I was thinking about DNFing from secondhand embarrassment every two pages. I have 63(!!) Highlights over all the awful awful ways to describe man and lady bits, ranging from classics such as "velvet-wrapped steel" and "anaconda " to newer... eh, favourites? Like "stench trench", "pink palace" and "shrinking squirt gun". If this book had been any longer I prooobably would have given up.

Read Bouncy if you want:
- Workplace romance with the boss
- virgin fmc
- a bit of breeding
- so many cringy things that make you question if this is hot or ridiculous or ridiculously hot or just awful and why the heck you're even reading this??

This is an ARC review.

[Darlene I read WAY to many books · Rating 3 out of 5]

So I finished book 1 in the dnf series, and I gotta say I was laughing so hard there were some parts where I was like omg is this where I dnf." But sadly, it didn't happen.

I'll give you a small review of this story because I want you all to cringe with me.

Acacia has been obsessing over her boss's workout. She is watching that junk fly in the air, lol. She's a pure virgin who doesn't know how to talk to a guy. So her flirting is funny and his is cute and when the spice happens.. well, that's when it gets cringy. So be warned, haha


No ow/om drama, no cheating, sexy times, Virgin gal and no manwhore

Recommend-yes
Cover-⭐️⭐️⭐️
Heat level-🌶🌶🌶

Slowinsta
Age gap
Pinning
Praise
No condom
Breeding
Hea
Epilogue

[Laura]

This really delivered. God damn. I found myself physically cringing and covering my face with my hair to get away from it, but I couldn't stop reading. Don't do it! 😖

[Romancing the Reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are no words…

This might be the craziest thing I’ve ever read. Which is the point. So in that way, the writer was successful. I don’t know if I could actually review this if I tried.

[mari]

so so soooooo bad 😭😭😭😭

[Peppa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was good!!
I’ve definitely read cringier books LMAO!! But it was hilarious nevertheless, loved the characters , their interactions and the Humore in it and don’t ask me why but the freaking shaving part did something to me (new kink unlocked).

[Arianna ✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was HILARIOUS 🤪 The gym setting was so much fun & it was a struggle to read it on the treadmill with a bunch of people around. Definitely cringey but I laughed my peach off reading it!

[Julia Porfirio]

Significantly easier to read than creamy but by no means should anyone who follows me read this. Please. I’m begging. Don’t start

[RomancewithRachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is about the most unhinged shit she could have come up with, and I LOVE HER for it.

This is strictly to be read for a good ass time and to cringe and be as uncomfy as possible. No negativity, thank you so much.

[Izzah ꒰Duchess of Cabria ಇ ⭑✧ ᴏɴ ᴘᴀᴛʀᴇᴏɴ ✧ ⋆꒱]

DNF series challenge, review series

I'm reading the DNF series books because... I don't know. I hate myself? I'm not going to rate them because it's too subjective, but I am going to rank them from favorite to least favorite.

📖 ༘⋆⸝ ⸝ My thoughts
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🕮⋆˚࿔✎𓂃 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[Tilly · Rating 3 out of 5]

okay this one was not as bad as the first one this was light work! it was so easy to read because it wasn't as cringe as I thought it would be 😭

she was just so dumb and it wasn't cute it just made her look stupid but the story line was normal compared to the first book of this series so I am not complaining ✋️

THE NICKNAMES! this is one thing I will now be scarred for life they are just getting worse the more you read. "krabby patty" "strench trench" "pookie" "tuna taco" LIKE GURL STOP!

3.5 ⭐️

[Dino Queen · Rating 3 out of 5]

The euphemisms were hilarious, awful, and creative
The story gives what you expect- cringe, weird, embarrassing, but the story itself was cute!
I had a hard time staying in the story with there being so much focus on a secondary character who was honestly kind of awful?
BUT a short, dirty, funny, unique read that lives up to the DNF cringe

[Kim B · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was sweet, spicy and actually pretty funny! All the names / slang for 🍆 and 🐱 had me rolling. Callum is the boss - he owns his own gym. Acacia is the new employee who works the front desk. She is a virgin and a bit shy....except when it comes to watching Callum workout - especially when he jumps rope. 😉

[Cole · Rating 1 out of 5]

A college virgin who’s never been kissed or shaved her cooter? Yeah, okay.

Takes her virginity and 2 seconds later they want a baby together. 🙄

I don’t understand why this is part of the “DNF” Series.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so unhinged but damn did I have a good time. The amount of times I had to stop because I was laughing so hard! 💀

Intentional cringe >>> unintentional cringe 🤭

[Taylor McKay · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not sure what I’ve read but it was the strangest/cringiest book I’ve ever read. I guess the challenge is finish all without DNFing. One down I guess 😂

[Michelle Claypot_Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was completely OTT and I loved it. Even though this world of books is kind of crazy this was still a sweet read. The heroine was adorable and I loved it!

[Emily]

Honestly these are just a good fucking time! Thank you Jordan for doing this challenge with me! 😂


WHISKER BISCUIT 🐱

[Evie Azzopardi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honestly not as bad as the other ones. The situation itself was a bit cringe and the different words for their P & V make me howl i can’t lie