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How To Kill Vampires because they are unnatural jerks
This is the Kindle version of the Full Color, 110-page Coffee Table Print Edition! The print edition is packed with photos and cool graphics not available in the Kindle version, but hey, what do you want for 99¢?
Have you ever been on a dark country road, face to face with one of the evil undead, and had no idea how to defend yourself? Well, probably not if you're still alive and reading this.
Finally, there is a book that very concisely and very quickly teaches you how to defend yourself and others against Vampires, those annoying, smelly creatures of the night. With photos, tips and tricks to get the upper-hand in a Vamp attack, "How to Kill Vampires because they are unnatural jerks" gives you the fundamentals you need to survive a supernatural encounter with a blood-sucking scumbag.
CRYSTOBAL, Vampire Hunter, Gothic Artist and creator and purveyor of the modern-day primitive-style Vampire Killing Kit, has been hunting and dusting vampires for five decades (he looks a lot younger than he is). With skills honed in the field, and years of research into the lore, legend and lives (er, eh, deads?) of Vampires, CRYSTOBAL is now passing on his ultimate secrets and experiences to the public in this very cool, full-color book. Written by Amazon best-selling author Christopher Pinto (Bill Riggins Paranormal Mystery Series) as dictated by CRYSTOBAL, this book covers everything one needs to know, whether you are an aspiring Vampire Slayer or just some average Joe (or Jill) who is sick of Vampires screwing up your evening plans.
This book highlights all the important aspects of finding and killing the Stakes, Crosses, Silver, Garlic, Homestead Locations, Vampire Hangouts, Rock Salt, Holy Water and more, plus a special section on the use of CRYSTOBAL's Vampire Killing Kits, and several methods to thwart a Vamp attack and turn the tables on the night-stalking twerps. In addition, there are several personal stories by the Hunter himself, about Vamps he's known and Vamps he's dusted. Oh, and there's a short section about the history of Vampires in the United States. Plus, there's a section on Vampires in TV shows and movies. Ooh, and a little bit about how the U.S. Military has handled Vamp attacks, since Revolutionary War times. Oh yeah, and actual step-by-step attack sequence instructions. And more.
Suitable for teens through adults, "How To Kill Vampires because they are unnatural jerks" is the perfect companion to any Zombie survival guide, ghost hunter's handbook, or occult tome collection, and makes a great gift for Goth chicks or guys who like to stab dead things with a pointy stick.
"This is a tongue-in-cheek kinda book, a little funny, very entertaining and full of incredible photographs and graphics that make it a perfect book for your coffee table or dungeon."
- Some guy on the internet
"Amazing! Triumphant! A real roller coaster!"
- every review ever
"If you like vampire legends and stories, this is a great addition to your collection. A truly original idea, written as if the vampire hunter were telling you these things person to person. Plus lots of fun photos and a kick-ass layout that makes it a cool book to have. Makes a great gift."
- Some chick on the internet
Have you ever been on a dark country road, face to face with one of the evil undead, and had no idea how to defend yourself? Well, probably not if you're still alive and reading this.
Finally, there is a book that very concisely and very quickly teaches you how to defend yourself and others against Vampires, those annoying, smelly creatures of the night. With photos, tips and tricks to get the upper-hand in a Vamp attack, "How to Kill Vampires because they are unnatural jerks" gives you the fundamentals you need to survive a supernatural encounter with a blood-sucking scumbag.
CRYSTOBAL, Vampire Hunter, Gothic Artist and creator and purveyor of the modern-day primitive-style Vampire Killing Kit, has been hunting and dusting vampires for five decades (he looks a lot younger than he is). With skills honed in the field, and years of research into the lore, legend and lives (er, eh, deads?) of Vampires, CRYSTOBAL is now passing on his ultimate secrets and experiences to the public in this very cool, full-color book. Written by Amazon best-selling author Christopher Pinto (Bill Riggins Paranormal Mystery Series) as dictated by CRYSTOBAL, this book covers everything one needs to know, whether you are an aspiring Vampire Slayer or just some average Joe (or Jill) who is sick of Vampires screwing up your evening plans.
This book highlights all the important aspects of finding and killing the Stakes, Crosses, Silver, Garlic, Homestead Locations, Vampire Hangouts, Rock Salt, Holy Water and more, plus a special section on the use of CRYSTOBAL's Vampire Killing Kits, and several methods to thwart a Vamp attack and turn the tables on the night-stalking twerps. In addition, there are several personal stories by the Hunter himself, about Vamps he's known and Vamps he's dusted. Oh, and there's a short section about the history of Vampires in the United States. Plus, there's a section on Vampires in TV shows and movies. Ooh, and a little bit about how the U.S. Military has handled Vamp attacks, since Revolutionary War times. Oh yeah, and actual step-by-step attack sequence instructions. And more.
Suitable for teens through adults, "How To Kill Vampires because they are unnatural jerks" is the perfect companion to any Zombie survival guide, ghost hunter's handbook, or occult tome collection, and makes a great gift for Goth chicks or guys who like to stab dead things with a pointy stick.
"This is a tongue-in-cheek kinda book, a little funny, very entertaining and full of incredible photographs and graphics that make it a perfect book for your coffee table or dungeon."
- Some guy on the internet
"Amazing! Triumphant! A real roller coaster!"
- every review ever
"If you like vampire legends and stories, this is a great addition to your collection. A truly original idea, written as if the vampire hunter were telling you these things person to person. Plus lots of fun photos and a kick-ass layout that makes it a cool book to have. Makes a great gift."
- Some chick on the internet
Kindle Edition
First published August 13, 2013
1 person is currently reading
7 people want to read
About the author
Christopher Pinto
13 books6 followersChristopher Pinto, is a Crazy Hot Rod Drivin' Sax Playin' Burger Eatin' Retro Kat living in In Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
Current titles include:
"Murder Behind the Closet Door: The Wildwood Paranormal Mystery"
"Murder on Tiki Island: A Paranormal Mystery in the Florida Keys"
"Murder Under the Boards: The Atlantic City Paranormal Mystery"
"A Flash of Noir: Flash Fiction and Short Stories with a Twist"
"How to Kill Vampires because they are unnatural jerks"
Pinto is the author/editor of Tiki Lounge Talk (http://tikiloungetalk.com), a web-lounge dedicated to remembering the kool stuff from the Atomic Age and beyond, from big band music to cocktails at the Tiki Bar. He's been writing for over 25 years, has had several plays produced, and has won awards for his creative efforts. During the 1990s he was producer/director of a highly successful traveling theater company in the Atlantic City area, StarDust Productions.
Current titles include:
"Murder Behind the Closet Door: The Wildwood Paranormal Mystery"
"Murder on Tiki Island: A Paranormal Mystery in the Florida Keys"
"Murder Under the Boards: The Atlantic City Paranormal Mystery"
"A Flash of Noir: Flash Fiction and Short Stories with a Twist"
"How to Kill Vampires because they are unnatural jerks"
Pinto is the author/editor of Tiki Lounge Talk (http://tikiloungetalk.com), a web-lounge dedicated to remembering the kool stuff from the Atomic Age and beyond, from big band music to cocktails at the Tiki Bar. He's been writing for over 25 years, has had several plays produced, and has won awards for his creative efforts. During the 1990s he was producer/director of a highly successful traveling theater company in the Atlantic City area, StarDust Productions.
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