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A Place Not Found
Levi Anderson understands that he will never have a ‘normal’ life. Bipolar Disorder rules every facet of his life with a cruel iron fist, and he plans to simply endure his existence until he no longer can. But when Hayden Ashford, the man with the dead brown eyes, comes to the gallery where Levi works, demanding to be sold a painting Levi completed while in a severely manic state, Levi can’t get past how similar they seem.
Hayden is barely making it from one day to the next after the death of his fiancé two years earlier. His guilt and his grief are all that’s keeping him alive. Until he meets Levi, an artist who has painted Hayden’s inconsolable anguish onto a canvas, and Hayden begins to feel life stirring in his bones once more.
They don’t stand a chance. Their suffering is too deep. But maybe theirs could be the greatest love of all if, somehow, they can find each other in the destructive chaos caused by their individual pain.
A Place Not Found is the painful journey of two people struggling to cope with the devastation and wreckage caused by mental illness and the loss of a loved one. It is also a story filled with hope and resilience, and the refusal to give up on the chance to love.
The full list of trigger warnings are available in the Look Inside feature.
Hayden is barely making it from one day to the next after the death of his fiancé two years earlier. His guilt and his grief are all that’s keeping him alive. Until he meets Levi, an artist who has painted Hayden’s inconsolable anguish onto a canvas, and Hayden begins to feel life stirring in his bones once more.
They don’t stand a chance. Their suffering is too deep. But maybe theirs could be the greatest love of all if, somehow, they can find each other in the destructive chaos caused by their individual pain.
A Place Not Found is the painful journey of two people struggling to cope with the devastation and wreckage caused by mental illness and the loss of a loved one. It is also a story filled with hope and resilience, and the refusal to give up on the chance to love.
The full list of trigger warnings are available in the Look Inside feature.
427 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 25, 2024
107 people are currently reading
849 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 102 reviews
December 28, 2024
Since signing up for Goodreads ~5 years ago, I’ve read over 2k books. TWO THOUSAND. Never have I ever left a 1 star review. So, getting this review over with so I can never think about this book again - I'm not going to rant & rave, because I like Jen's previous books. However this one... Yikes. If it was just a matter of personal opinion I wouldn't even bother, but this was genuinely harmful
Let's start off with me being explicitly clear here - my dislike of this book is not related to the BP rep specifically, as every single person experiences things differently. Im not here to police rep. But I am here to call out some absolute BS.
The MMC Levi, our BP character - had nothing else. That is ALL he was. To himself and to others. Even his career as an artist, was intrinsically linked to his episodes. His entire identity was wrapped up in this and we call that monolithic writing. Or maybe we don’t but I do.. whatever. Either way, that was difficult to get past. You can be bipolar and have interests and like… general character traits outside that, ya know? BP doesn’t mean not human?
Also, BP is hard, ya. It sucks. However every single time this book told me Levi was *suffering through life / suffering with BP*, which was V often, I died a little inside. Haven't we learned by now in 2024 that that kind of tone when talking about a disability is nothing but ableism? But I digress…
That wasn't my only or largest issue, bc every single character in this book was atrocious. The parents. The love interest. EVERYONE. But for purposes of not ranting I will just focus on one character. Hayden. The love interest. The other MMC, the widower - FUCK HIM.
I'm supposed to be endeared to this man? This man, whose husband lost his battle with BP, & because Levi is bipolar, the widower latches onto him. Becomes interested in him. Projects all his grief onto Levi. But of course, he doesn't want anyone to think he's only interested bc he's trying to save Levi like he couldn't his late husband (although that is exactly what he's doing). It's giving ‘I CAN FIX HIM’ & I've never hated anything more.
For example, in one scene, Levi is stimming, he's clicking his pen. The widower stands up, takes the pen, and gives him a pencil instead. Because he was annoyed by the stimming? I repeat… I'm supposed to be endeared to this man?! ABSOLUTELY NOT. The second someone points out our stim, NEVER MIND TRIES TO CORRECT IT, they're no longer a safe person. Period.
Levi's internal dialogue in response is this. Bc it was a dickhead move.
What a frigin asshole, man.
Not only that, but within 5 minutes of meeting Levi, this man knows he's bipolar.
Because he can just tell.
Because BP isn't a significantly layered disorder, with innumerable ways to present mania, depressive, or mixed states. NOPE.
Because Levi started speaking quickly, seemed a bit hyped… OBVIOUSLY THIS MEANS HE'S BIPOLAR~!!!!
I'm getting angrier as I type so I hope that made sense and the sarcasm was abundantly clear.
You recognized the signs bc you met him like, once? Twice? Had A SINGLE direct conversation? STFU. I beg. As a bipolar person, I CAN BARELY DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN A MOOD SWING OR A QUICK LITTLE DYSREGULATION, FOR A GOOD AMOUNT OF TIME!!! Neurodivergence is an umbrella bc there is continuous overlap between diagnosis’. That’s why they’re hard to diagnose and take a trained - if not several trained - medical professionals. It takes evaluations and tons of bullshit to even get that diagnosis. But you're telling me this man, because his late husband was BP, just *knows* this STRANGER is as well. Bc SIGNS. Hayden is clearly gods gift to BP people (or so he would like to think).
Cutting this off abruptly bc again I'm not here to write a dissertation, although I certainly could. But also I am just very done and never want to think about them again.
So, as stated, there is no one way to exist as a bipolar person. What one person experiences will not be the same as another - and that doesn't make it any less valid - so none of what I’ve said is a reflection on the presentation of BP, but the conversations and overall tone surrounding it. I URGE any person who’s bipolar, (and perhaps under the Neurodivergent umbrella ENTIRELY) to proceed into this book with caution. In my opinion it was written for a neurotypical person’s consumption. I wouldn't mind being wrong though, and I hope that any BP person reading this book has a better experience than I did. REALLY TRULY.
It is evident no independent research went into writing this book, not even the bare minimum of what you’d expect when writing subject matter outside one’s own lived experience. To my very core I hate it.
Ok never see you again bye
PS
BPD stands for Borderline Personality Disorder - not bipolar [BP] - literally would take a 5 second google search to see that
When I tell you ZERO research went into this book......
Let's start off with me being explicitly clear here - my dislike of this book is not related to the BP rep specifically, as every single person experiences things differently. Im not here to police rep. But I am here to call out some absolute BS.
The MMC Levi, our BP character - had nothing else. That is ALL he was. To himself and to others. Even his career as an artist, was intrinsically linked to his episodes. His entire identity was wrapped up in this and we call that monolithic writing. Or maybe we don’t but I do.. whatever. Either way, that was difficult to get past. You can be bipolar and have interests and like… general character traits outside that, ya know? BP doesn’t mean not human?
Also, BP is hard, ya. It sucks. However every single time this book told me Levi was *suffering through life / suffering with BP*, which was V often, I died a little inside. Haven't we learned by now in 2024 that that kind of tone when talking about a disability is nothing but ableism? But I digress…
That wasn't my only or largest issue, bc every single character in this book was atrocious. The parents. The love interest. EVERYONE. But for purposes of not ranting I will just focus on one character. Hayden. The love interest. The other MMC, the widower - FUCK HIM.
I'm supposed to be endeared to this man? This man, whose husband lost his battle with BP, & because Levi is bipolar, the widower latches onto him. Becomes interested in him. Projects all his grief onto Levi. But of course, he doesn't want anyone to think he's only interested bc he's trying to save Levi like he couldn't his late husband (although that is exactly what he's doing). It's giving ‘I CAN FIX HIM’ & I've never hated anything more.
For example, in one scene, Levi is stimming, he's clicking his pen. The widower stands up, takes the pen, and gives him a pencil instead. Because he was annoyed by the stimming? I repeat… I'm supposed to be endeared to this man?! ABSOLUTELY NOT. The second someone points out our stim, NEVER MIND TRIES TO CORRECT IT, they're no longer a safe person. Period.
Levi's internal dialogue in response is this. Bc it was a dickhead move.
My eyes drop to my pen lying next to his hand, almost touching his pinky. I feel lost without it. I don’t like the smoothness of the pencil he’s given me to use. The texture makes the tips of my fingers tingle. My pen has ridges along the middle. The absence of the ridges along the side of this pencil is discomforting.
What a frigin asshole, man.
Not only that, but within 5 minutes of meeting Levi, this man knows he's bipolar.
Because he can just tell.
Because BP isn't a significantly layered disorder, with innumerable ways to present mania, depressive, or mixed states. NOPE.
Because Levi started speaking quickly, seemed a bit hyped… OBVIOUSLY THIS MEANS HE'S BIPOLAR~!!!!
I'm getting angrier as I type so I hope that made sense and the sarcasm was abundantly clear.
“He has Bipolar Disorder,” I provide, instead of a proper answer. Still, it feels like a weight has lifted off my shoulders, saying it out loud.
“Did he tell you that?”
“Yes. But I’d already figured it out by then.”
“You recognized the signs.”
“Yes.”
You recognized the signs bc you met him like, once? Twice? Had A SINGLE direct conversation? STFU. I beg. As a bipolar person, I CAN BARELY DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN A MOOD SWING OR A QUICK LITTLE DYSREGULATION, FOR A GOOD AMOUNT OF TIME!!! Neurodivergence is an umbrella bc there is continuous overlap between diagnosis’. That’s why they’re hard to diagnose and take a trained - if not several trained - medical professionals. It takes evaluations and tons of bullshit to even get that diagnosis. But you're telling me this man, because his late husband was BP, just *knows* this STRANGER is as well. Bc SIGNS. Hayden is clearly gods gift to BP people (or so he would like to think).
Cutting this off abruptly bc again I'm not here to write a dissertation, although I certainly could. But also I am just very done and never want to think about them again.
So, as stated, there is no one way to exist as a bipolar person. What one person experiences will not be the same as another - and that doesn't make it any less valid - so none of what I’ve said is a reflection on the presentation of BP, but the conversations and overall tone surrounding it. I URGE any person who’s bipolar, (and perhaps under the Neurodivergent umbrella ENTIRELY) to proceed into this book with caution. In my opinion it was written for a neurotypical person’s consumption. I wouldn't mind being wrong though, and I hope that any BP person reading this book has a better experience than I did. REALLY TRULY.
It is evident no independent research went into writing this book, not even the bare minimum of what you’d expect when writing subject matter outside one’s own lived experience. To my very core I hate it.
Ok never see you again bye
PS
BPD stands for Borderline Personality Disorder - not bipolar [BP] - literally would take a 5 second google search to see that
When I tell you ZERO research went into this book......
Did not finish
December 28, 2024DNF @ 25%
October 22, 2024
I just to start by saying this is going to be a very hard read for those who are unable to read this kind of content. So, please listen to these warnings ⚠️ 🙏
On page grief
Mental disorder
Cruelty
Suicide
Self-deprecation
Potentially discomforting sexual situations
"Hayden, self-love is the toughest love to love to give and receive, but it can be done. Everything starts from within. Love makes us vulnerable, but we are more inclined to take those risks when we know that somehow, we would survive it if it ended in tragedy. And the same is true for Levi. Living with Bipolar Disorder can be less frightening when the person consistently practices self-love.
This is an extremely hard and very emotional read. It's between two men.. one who lost the love of his life and the other who constantly thinks his life is not worthy.
When their two worlds collide. Are they going to be able to handle what comes with the highs and lows of Levi being Bipolar Disorder?
I liked Hayden's character. He showed a lot of love and compassion towards Levi.
Levi was a brave person he loved and cared for others hard.
I bought this book going into it blindly. I am glad I did. It was very well-written and very informative.
I have a family member who is Bipolar and you don't realize the degree of it until it's presented to you..Whether it's through words or text. It's still so hard to take in but this helped a great deal. It did shed some light on some particular things that had me thinking.
Had me listening.
On page grief
Mental disorder
Cruelty
Suicide
Self-deprecation
Potentially discomforting sexual situations
"Hayden, self-love is the toughest love to love to give and receive, but it can be done. Everything starts from within. Love makes us vulnerable, but we are more inclined to take those risks when we know that somehow, we would survive it if it ended in tragedy. And the same is true for Levi. Living with Bipolar Disorder can be less frightening when the person consistently practices self-love.
This is an extremely hard and very emotional read. It's between two men.. one who lost the love of his life and the other who constantly thinks his life is not worthy.
When their two worlds collide. Are they going to be able to handle what comes with the highs and lows of Levi being Bipolar Disorder?
I liked Hayden's character. He showed a lot of love and compassion towards Levi.
Levi was a brave person he loved and cared for others hard.
I bought this book going into it blindly. I am glad I did. It was very well-written and very informative.
I have a family member who is Bipolar and you don't realize the degree of it until it's presented to you..Whether it's through words or text. It's still so hard to take in but this helped a great deal. It did shed some light on some particular things that had me thinking.
Had me listening.
May 5, 2024
Devastating but utterly perfect!
The thing about this book that got me is how desperate both men were for a connection but lived in tremendous fear that not only would they not find it, but they were utterly undeserving of it.
These men weren’t thriving. They weren’t even living. They were merely surviving and even that was questionable, especially for Levi.
The fact that Levi was still alive was an act of sheer will. His bipolar disorder had stripped him of joy, peace, and any contentment. He had been suffering for so long with minimal support of his family. His family loved him but wanted him to basically get over it. Thank goodness he did have a few people fighting for him but he really just wanted the quiet to finally come - the quiet and peace that came with death. He broke my heart. He just could not find his way out of this dark tunnel. He had been in a severe loop between mania and paralyzing lows. He had his art but even that was failing him.
It was clear that Hayden was depressed. He was lost in his grief following the death of his fiancé. He certainly wasn’t looking for anyone and had even decided that love was no longer meant for him. He harbored immense guilt over the death of his partner. His meeting with Levi was just happenstance but it left a mark on both of them. Hayden connected with Levi’s art but there was something about each man that almost called to the other.
This book gutted me from start to finish. You could periodically see glimmers of hope for each man but their mental struggles were huge hurdles. It was so apparent that Hayden had so much love to give and Levi was so deserving of receiving that love. There isn’t a single time where it was easy for them. They not only had to fight for each other but they had to fight for themselves.
The thing about this book that got me is how desperate both men were for a connection but lived in tremendous fear that not only would they not find it, but they were utterly undeserving of it.
These men weren’t thriving. They weren’t even living. They were merely surviving and even that was questionable, especially for Levi.
The fact that Levi was still alive was an act of sheer will. His bipolar disorder had stripped him of joy, peace, and any contentment. He had been suffering for so long with minimal support of his family. His family loved him but wanted him to basically get over it. Thank goodness he did have a few people fighting for him but he really just wanted the quiet to finally come - the quiet and peace that came with death. He broke my heart. He just could not find his way out of this dark tunnel. He had been in a severe loop between mania and paralyzing lows. He had his art but even that was failing him.
It was clear that Hayden was depressed. He was lost in his grief following the death of his fiancé. He certainly wasn’t looking for anyone and had even decided that love was no longer meant for him. He harbored immense guilt over the death of his partner. His meeting with Levi was just happenstance but it left a mark on both of them. Hayden connected with Levi’s art but there was something about each man that almost called to the other.
This book gutted me from start to finish. You could periodically see glimmers of hope for each man but their mental struggles were huge hurdles. It was so apparent that Hayden had so much love to give and Levi was so deserving of receiving that love. There isn’t a single time where it was easy for them. They not only had to fight for each other but they had to fight for themselves.
December 18, 2024
So heartbreaking but beautiful at the same time.
December 31, 2024
“We’re making it through,” I tell him. “Every day, we’re making it through.”
He nods vigorously. “We’re making it through.”
all three stars are for Levi and his found family. i couldn't with Hayden or Levi's bio-family.
April 29, 2024
This was perfection!
Jen absolutely destroyed me with this book.
It is sad and heartbreaking and beautifully told!!!
The depth this books goes into about Levi who lives with bipolar disorder is just gut wrenching. But perfect!
He meets Hayden who’s tragically lost the love of his life and has since been searching for something unknown.
Together they nearly destroy each other.
The attraction between is all-consuming, the lovemaking desperate, hard and punishing. Their connection endless.
Jen managed to imagine these two beautiful characters, flawed and scared. Levi with all his little sorry’s, promises to try and feeling like a burden - he is just so beautiful. And Hayden, so patient, so understanding - such a good man ❤️
I can’t even count the number of highlights or the times I teared up. It was EMOTIONAL!!!! 🥹
This is a tough one to read but it’s so worth it.
I know I’ll be thinking about this book for a long time to come.
Jen told this story so beautifully and I’m her biggest fan.
I had to text her when I was done because I was in tears, sad it was over. Just phenomenal!
Thank you for letting me ARC read this beautiful book - THAT MADE ME CRY! 😭
.
OUT NOW! Grab it now!
Jen absolutely destroyed me with this book.
It is sad and heartbreaking and beautifully told!!!
The depth this books goes into about Levi who lives with bipolar disorder is just gut wrenching. But perfect!
He meets Hayden who’s tragically lost the love of his life and has since been searching for something unknown.
Together they nearly destroy each other.
The attraction between is all-consuming, the lovemaking desperate, hard and punishing. Their connection endless.
Jen managed to imagine these two beautiful characters, flawed and scared. Levi with all his little sorry’s, promises to try and feeling like a burden - he is just so beautiful. And Hayden, so patient, so understanding - such a good man ❤️
I can’t even count the number of highlights or the times I teared up. It was EMOTIONAL!!!! 🥹
This is a tough one to read but it’s so worth it.
I know I’ll be thinking about this book for a long time to come.
Jen told this story so beautifully and I’m her biggest fan.
I had to text her when I was done because I was in tears, sad it was over. Just phenomenal!
Thank you for letting me ARC read this beautiful book - THAT MADE ME CRY! 😭
.
OUT NOW! Grab it now!
February 24, 2026
Avete presente le mostre immersive, dove un’opera d’arte viene fatta “vivere”, così che la si possa non solo vedere, ma anche sentire, sperimentare? Ecco ,“Un posto introvabile" è così. Mi ha portata dentro al rumore assordante della testa di Levi, fatta volare con lui verso altezze vertiginose e poi precipitare giù, negli abissi più profondi. Mi ha avvolta con la sua ansia compulsiva e con la sua arte sublime e trascinata nel gorgo dei suoi pensieri. Ha inciso sulla mia pelle la sofferenza di Hayden, la perdita e il senso di colpa. Mi ha mostrato tutta la forza, la fragilità, la bellezza di queste due anime tormentate, che mi hanno commossa, spezzato il cuore e ricomposto, ancora e ancora e ancora …
Se poteste vedere questo libro sul mio kindle, vi trovereste pagine e pagine colorate con evidenziatori diversi, uno per ogni prima emozione viscerale provata, mentre quei pensieri lì scritti scavavano percorsi di analisi e riflessioni nella mia anima e nella mia mente.
L’autrice mi ha fatto capire, a livello viscerale e intimo, cosa voglia dire vivere e vivere accanto al disturbo bipolare e a quello ossessivo compulsivo, (anche al lutto, ma quello è un dolore che mi porto sempre dietro) e quei sentimenti, quelle sensazioni mi sono arrivati addosso con la potenza di una valanga, togliendomi il respiro e bruciandomi come ghiaccio secco.
I personaggi secondari sono anch’essi indimenticabili nelle emozioni vivide che smuovono. I due incontri tra Levi e Sasha, anche lei affetta da disturbo bipolare, mi hanno commossa come pochi.
La scrittura è potente e incisiva, sa essere poetica, tormentata e calda allo stesso tempo.
Ho letto il romanzo in un giorno solo, facendo tardissimo la notte, e alla fine avevo occhi e cuore gonfi, di lacrime e speranza.
Hugs&kisses
Se poteste vedere questo libro sul mio kindle, vi trovereste pagine e pagine colorate con evidenziatori diversi, uno per ogni prima emozione viscerale provata, mentre quei pensieri lì scritti scavavano percorsi di analisi e riflessioni nella mia anima e nella mia mente.
L’autrice mi ha fatto capire, a livello viscerale e intimo, cosa voglia dire vivere e vivere accanto al disturbo bipolare e a quello ossessivo compulsivo, (anche al lutto, ma quello è un dolore che mi porto sempre dietro) e quei sentimenti, quelle sensazioni mi sono arrivati addosso con la potenza di una valanga, togliendomi il respiro e bruciandomi come ghiaccio secco.
I personaggi secondari sono anch’essi indimenticabili nelle emozioni vivide che smuovono. I due incontri tra Levi e Sasha, anche lei affetta da disturbo bipolare, mi hanno commossa come pochi.
La scrittura è potente e incisiva, sa essere poetica, tormentata e calda allo stesso tempo.
Ho letto il romanzo in un giorno solo, facendo tardissimo la notte, e alla fine avevo occhi e cuore gonfi, di lacrime e speranza.
Hugs&kisses
August 2, 2024
I wish I could write a review for this book but after starting and deleting paragraphs a few times, it's obvious I can't put my thoughts to words, so I will leave it without one. 'We're (all) just making it through'.
November 3, 2024
"I’m low, but I know this much. When I’m with you the longing for stillness stops. You’re my quiet. You’re my light when the darkness becomes unbearable, but I’m a lot, Hayden. I’m a commitment most people should run from. There aren’t a lot of people in this world who would tolerate someone like me. I never, not once in my life, ever expected to make a life with someone. I accepted a long time ago that relationships aren’t for me. So, I have to ask you to at least think about this first to make sure it’s what you really want.”
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Shattered me...fucking broke me. From authors notes it self i knew this would destroy me but...
The writing is poetic and informative. I learned so many important things about bipolar disorder.
Characters are funny and lovable eben when they're saying shitty things.
Please read this when you're mentally sane bc this book has power to COMPLETELY DESTROY YOU
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Shattered me...fucking broke me. From authors notes it self i knew this would destroy me but...
The writing is poetic and informative. I learned so many important things about bipolar disorder.
Characters are funny and lovable eben when they're saying shitty things.
Please read this when you're mentally sane bc this book has power to COMPLETELY DESTROY YOU
January 29, 2025
4.5🌟
I’m completely obsessed with this book especially Hayden and Levi! I can’t even put into words how it made me feel. I loved how Hayden chose himself while still giving his all to Levi, and how Levi was always willing to put in the effort for their relationship. Their chemistry was off the charts, and that slow burn? It really burned. I also loved how deeply obsessed they were with each other and how Hayden finally stopped comparing Levi to Nicky. They deserved all the love, and I’m so glad they found their way to each other. 💖🔥
I’m completely obsessed with this book especially Hayden and Levi! I can’t even put into words how it made me feel. I loved how Hayden chose himself while still giving his all to Levi, and how Levi was always willing to put in the effort for their relationship. Their chemistry was off the charts, and that slow burn? It really burned. I also loved how deeply obsessed they were with each other and how Hayden finally stopped comparing Levi to Nicky. They deserved all the love, and I’m so glad they found their way to each other. 💖🔥
February 22, 2026
Levi è un giovane uomo che da sempre convive con il disturbo bipolare. Accettare la diagnosi non è semplice, così come non lo è zittire le voci che sovente affollano la sua mente. Ma Levi cerca di lottare con le unghie e con i denti per continuare a vivere, fra molti alti e bassi. Vive oramai da solo, ha un lavoro presso una galleria d'arte e ama dipingere quadri con i quali esprime sé stesso. Durante una delle sue ultime fasi maniacali ha dipinto un'opera che ha intitolato "Un posto introvabile" da esporre durante la serata di presentazione della galleria. Durante questo evento, la sua creazione attira lo sguardo di Hayden che, incantato dalla profondità di quelle pennellate su tela, desidera acquistarlo a tutti i costi. Quest'ultimo è un uomo distrutto dal dolore che da circa due anni è in lutto dopo aver perso il suo fidanzato, nonché promesso sposo, Nicholas, in un incidente stradale. Basta un singolo istante, due sguardi che si posano l'uno sull'altro, per riconoscersi entrambi come anime spezzate. Il viaggio che Levi e Hayden stanno per intraprendere non sarà facile, al contrario si tratta di un percorso lento, con molte cadute e scivoloni verso terra, per i quali ogni volta dovranno trovare la forza di rialzarsi più coraggiosi di prima. Siete pronti per fare il primo passo e lasciarvi travolgere completamente dalla penna di Jen Samson con la storia di Levi e Hayden? Non vi resta che prendere la vostra copia e partire immediatamente!
Mi limiterò a questi brevi accenni di Un posto introvabile, specie perché la sinossi è già completa di dettagli e informazioni che attirano a voler leggere questo romanzo come una falena è attratta dalla luce. Perlomeno, così è stato per me, che proprio non ho resistito in nessun modo. Sono trascorse parecchie ore da quando sono arrivata al traguardo di questa lettura e mi sono finalmente seduta a scrivere la mia recensione, eppure mi sento ancora talmente emotivamente coinvolta da non riuscire a mettere ordine fra i miei pensieri per la preoccupazione di dimenticare di condividere qualche mio pensiero a riguardo, oppure di non riuscire a esprimermi nel miglior modo possibile, poiché si tratta di un romanzo che merita veramente tanto. Non appena ho concluso e dopo essermi asciugata gli occhi dalle lacrime (che ancora affiorano mentre scrivo, al solo pensiero) la primissima cosa a cui ho pensato è stata che siamo nel mese di Febbraio, il 2026 è appena iniziato, ma ho una certezza: Un posto introvabile va direttamente fra i migliori libri che io abbia letto quest'anno e, naturalmente, fra i romanzi da leggere almeno una volta nella vita. Un Gay Romance in cui ho lasciato un pezzetto di me e che, viceversa, ha lasciato moltissimo nel mio cuore e nei miei pensieri. Non appena disponibile troverà anche spazio fra gli scaffali della mia libreria con i titoli che più mi hanno emozionata. Faccio prima un piccolo passo indietro. È la primissima volta che mi capita di leggere la penna di Jen Samson. Ho trovato il suo stile narrativo veramente piacevole, coinvolgente e scorrevole, mai pesante o arricchito da descrizioni superflue. Nonostante si tratti di un volume bello corposo, mi sono letteralmente persa fra le pagine di questa storia, che mi ha tenuto compagnia per diverse ore in pochissimi giorni. Lasciare giù il Kindle per portare avanti gli impegni quotidiani è stata veramente una sofferenza perché tutto ciò che desideravo fare era proseguire, capitolo dopo capitolo, per vivere nuove emozioni e momenti intensi con Levi e Hayden. Ho amato indistintamente entrambi i protagonisti, con i loro pregi e i loro difetti, con le loro cicatrici e il loro gran cuore. Tutti e due sono ben caratterizzati e, di conseguenza, realistici. Il loro percorso di crescita, sia come singoli individui che come coppia, è lento e straziante, ma necessario ed anche vivido. Il tutto è ben percepibile grazie al doppio pov, che ci permette di entrare in sintonia con i due uomini e conoscere ogni più piccola sfaccettatura. Fra i personaggi secondari non posso non citare la famiglia di Hayden, sono davvero comprensivi e affettuosi ma, soprattutto, accettano e amano Levi esattamente così com'è. Al contrario i familiari di Levi, appunto, non riuscivo a sopportarli, specie la madre che, nonostante il bene che afferma di provare nei confronti del figlio, proprio non riesce a fermarsi un singolo istante per provare a comprenderlo. L'autrice, a cui devo fare i miei più sentiti complimenti, affronta attraverso queste pagine con una delicatezza unica e, al contempo, senza indorare la pillola, tematiche complesse di cui si parla veramente troppo poco. Le malattie o i disturbi mentali, meritano comprensione e soprattutto tanto supporto. Non parlarne equivale a fingere che non esistono ed è davvero inaccettabile. Pertanto, ammiro Jen Samson per aver dato vita, nero su bianco, ad una sensazionale storia d'amore con protagonisti e personaggi secondari che lottano ogni singolo giorno anche solo per riuscire a sorridere. Le scene spicy sono ben curate, travolgenti e mai uguali. Ogni parte di questo libro è in perfetto equilibrio, senza mai che un tema risulti preponderante rispetto agli altri. Inoltre, avere fra le primissime pagine la nota della Samson è di grande aiuto per avere un'idea di ciò che è racchiuso in questo scrigno di parole. Lo studio che l'autrice ha compiuto per poter creare questa meraviglia è notevole e percepibile nel corso della narrazione. Questa, infatti, è resa benissimo dalla traduzione in italiano di Erika Arcoleo e per la quale ringrazio la Quixote Edizioni oltre che per la collaborazione, per aver dato spazio nel panorama letterario italiano a questa perla. Più e più volte leggevo con le lacrime agli occhi, poi spuntava qualche sorriso e la mia speranza per il lieto fine tornava prepotente a farsi sentire. Ho provato tantissime emozioni che mi hanno tenuta in sospeso dalla prima all'ultima pagina e, anche se si tratta di un percorso doloroso e per lo più in salita, devo dire che ne è valso davvero ogni singolo istante. Diversi sono i passaggi che ho trovato di grande ispirazione e che mi hanno portata a riflettere. Fra le mani abbiamo perciò uno stand alone che tratta argomenti delicati quali il disturbo bipolare, il disturbo ossessivo compulsivo, l'elaborazione del lutto e il suicidio. Pertanto, ne consiglio la lettura a un pubblico adulto e consapevole di quanto narrato. Se siete alla ricerca di un Romance MM che sappia emozionarvi e scuotervi nel profondo, che racchiuda un'intensa storia d'amore fra due anime spezzate che hanno molto da imparare e da superare, giorno dopo giorno, in grado di distruggervi il cuore in tanti pezzetti per poi ricomporlo e che sia, di conseguenza, dolorosamente splendido, non potete assolutamente perdervi Un posto introvabile di Jen Samson. A me non resta che attendere, in futuro, un'altra pubblicazione della stessa autrice che seguirò con grande interesse!
Senza ombra di dubbio per me sono 5 stelle!
Mi limiterò a questi brevi accenni di Un posto introvabile, specie perché la sinossi è già completa di dettagli e informazioni che attirano a voler leggere questo romanzo come una falena è attratta dalla luce. Perlomeno, così è stato per me, che proprio non ho resistito in nessun modo. Sono trascorse parecchie ore da quando sono arrivata al traguardo di questa lettura e mi sono finalmente seduta a scrivere la mia recensione, eppure mi sento ancora talmente emotivamente coinvolta da non riuscire a mettere ordine fra i miei pensieri per la preoccupazione di dimenticare di condividere qualche mio pensiero a riguardo, oppure di non riuscire a esprimermi nel miglior modo possibile, poiché si tratta di un romanzo che merita veramente tanto. Non appena ho concluso e dopo essermi asciugata gli occhi dalle lacrime (che ancora affiorano mentre scrivo, al solo pensiero) la primissima cosa a cui ho pensato è stata che siamo nel mese di Febbraio, il 2026 è appena iniziato, ma ho una certezza: Un posto introvabile va direttamente fra i migliori libri che io abbia letto quest'anno e, naturalmente, fra i romanzi da leggere almeno una volta nella vita. Un Gay Romance in cui ho lasciato un pezzetto di me e che, viceversa, ha lasciato moltissimo nel mio cuore e nei miei pensieri. Non appena disponibile troverà anche spazio fra gli scaffali della mia libreria con i titoli che più mi hanno emozionata. Faccio prima un piccolo passo indietro. È la primissima volta che mi capita di leggere la penna di Jen Samson. Ho trovato il suo stile narrativo veramente piacevole, coinvolgente e scorrevole, mai pesante o arricchito da descrizioni superflue. Nonostante si tratti di un volume bello corposo, mi sono letteralmente persa fra le pagine di questa storia, che mi ha tenuto compagnia per diverse ore in pochissimi giorni. Lasciare giù il Kindle per portare avanti gli impegni quotidiani è stata veramente una sofferenza perché tutto ciò che desideravo fare era proseguire, capitolo dopo capitolo, per vivere nuove emozioni e momenti intensi con Levi e Hayden. Ho amato indistintamente entrambi i protagonisti, con i loro pregi e i loro difetti, con le loro cicatrici e il loro gran cuore. Tutti e due sono ben caratterizzati e, di conseguenza, realistici. Il loro percorso di crescita, sia come singoli individui che come coppia, è lento e straziante, ma necessario ed anche vivido. Il tutto è ben percepibile grazie al doppio pov, che ci permette di entrare in sintonia con i due uomini e conoscere ogni più piccola sfaccettatura. Fra i personaggi secondari non posso non citare la famiglia di Hayden, sono davvero comprensivi e affettuosi ma, soprattutto, accettano e amano Levi esattamente così com'è. Al contrario i familiari di Levi, appunto, non riuscivo a sopportarli, specie la madre che, nonostante il bene che afferma di provare nei confronti del figlio, proprio non riesce a fermarsi un singolo istante per provare a comprenderlo. L'autrice, a cui devo fare i miei più sentiti complimenti, affronta attraverso queste pagine con una delicatezza unica e, al contempo, senza indorare la pillola, tematiche complesse di cui si parla veramente troppo poco. Le malattie o i disturbi mentali, meritano comprensione e soprattutto tanto supporto. Non parlarne equivale a fingere che non esistono ed è davvero inaccettabile. Pertanto, ammiro Jen Samson per aver dato vita, nero su bianco, ad una sensazionale storia d'amore con protagonisti e personaggi secondari che lottano ogni singolo giorno anche solo per riuscire a sorridere. Le scene spicy sono ben curate, travolgenti e mai uguali. Ogni parte di questo libro è in perfetto equilibrio, senza mai che un tema risulti preponderante rispetto agli altri. Inoltre, avere fra le primissime pagine la nota della Samson è di grande aiuto per avere un'idea di ciò che è racchiuso in questo scrigno di parole. Lo studio che l'autrice ha compiuto per poter creare questa meraviglia è notevole e percepibile nel corso della narrazione. Questa, infatti, è resa benissimo dalla traduzione in italiano di Erika Arcoleo e per la quale ringrazio la Quixote Edizioni oltre che per la collaborazione, per aver dato spazio nel panorama letterario italiano a questa perla. Più e più volte leggevo con le lacrime agli occhi, poi spuntava qualche sorriso e la mia speranza per il lieto fine tornava prepotente a farsi sentire. Ho provato tantissime emozioni che mi hanno tenuta in sospeso dalla prima all'ultima pagina e, anche se si tratta di un percorso doloroso e per lo più in salita, devo dire che ne è valso davvero ogni singolo istante. Diversi sono i passaggi che ho trovato di grande ispirazione e che mi hanno portata a riflettere. Fra le mani abbiamo perciò uno stand alone che tratta argomenti delicati quali il disturbo bipolare, il disturbo ossessivo compulsivo, l'elaborazione del lutto e il suicidio. Pertanto, ne consiglio la lettura a un pubblico adulto e consapevole di quanto narrato. Se siete alla ricerca di un Romance MM che sappia emozionarvi e scuotervi nel profondo, che racchiuda un'intensa storia d'amore fra due anime spezzate che hanno molto da imparare e da superare, giorno dopo giorno, in grado di distruggervi il cuore in tanti pezzetti per poi ricomporlo e che sia, di conseguenza, dolorosamente splendido, non potete assolutamente perdervi Un posto introvabile di Jen Samson. A me non resta che attendere, in futuro, un'altra pubblicazione della stessa autrice che seguirò con grande interesse!
Senza ombra di dubbio per me sono 5 stelle!
May 20, 2024
as someone who is not familiar with BPD,this book was very helpful in taking me through what it means and how it can affect you,I really liked the way the author managed to write Levi’s headspace on his lows and
highs.
i also really liked hayden’s journey and especially the way realizes his feelings are important too.
i really liked the relationship,even though I would have liked some little breather time as it was really intense the whole time,but I also understand and appreciate why it needed to be at that intense level.
i really liked it :)
highs.
i also really liked hayden’s journey and especially the way realizes his feelings are important too.
i really liked the relationship,even though I would have liked some little breather time as it was really intense the whole time,but I also understand and appreciate why it needed to be at that intense level.
i really liked it :)
Read
August 25, 2024I think I liked this a lot but I’m waiting to see what I want to rate it.. giving 4.5 stars. I just love the angst romance vibes ahhhh
February 23, 2026
semplicemente meraviglioso!
January 26, 2025
||4.5||
The way this book literally reached into my chest, violently squeezed my heart and then politely let it go?? I have a fucking headache from crying. Thank you very much.
RTC.
The way this book literally reached into my chest, violently squeezed my heart and then politely let it go?? I have a fucking headache from crying. Thank you very much.
RTC.
August 27, 2024
I thoroughly didn’t like how bipolar disorder was portrayed in this book. The way the mc’s (Levi’s) bipolar treatment and symptoms played out just did not seem plausible to me in a lot of ways.
Most importantly, neither character had any identity outside of their “issues”. Levi has literally no personality traits other than being bipolar (including like six bipolar tattoos).
For me, this book went way over the edge of romanticizing mental illness. I’m not even convinced these characters know anything about each other other than talking about how Levi is bipolar.
Also, just a side note, BPD stands for Borderline Personality Disorder. Not Bipolar Disorder. I think the incorrect acronym really set the tone for the book for me, unfortunately.
Most importantly, neither character had any identity outside of their “issues”. Levi has literally no personality traits other than being bipolar (including like six bipolar tattoos).
For me, this book went way over the edge of romanticizing mental illness. I’m not even convinced these characters know anything about each other other than talking about how Levi is bipolar.
Also, just a side note, BPD stands for Borderline Personality Disorder. Not Bipolar Disorder. I think the incorrect acronym really set the tone for the book for me, unfortunately.
June 8, 2024
Such a beautiful book about how someone with bipolar disorder deserves acceptance, support and understanding. All the feels! I love Levi and Hayden! This is what unconditional love is. Through baggages and all.
January 6, 2026
This is the second book i’ve read of this author. I like her writing. However, i’ve noticed that she tends to use too much of a person’s name in the dialogues. It’s too much. The dialogue starts sounding too fake the .
January 1, 2025
3.25 stars?? I am still quite conflicted on how to rate this, because I LOVED all of these quotes I have below, and I really liked the two MCs SEPARATELY... However, I did not like them much as a couple... or maybe I just wasn't fond of how Hayden was with Levi during their steamy scenes 🤔🤷🏻♀️. Also, definitely check TWs for this!!
Anyway, my favorite quotes are below, and before you start saying how this is a ton of them, this is the dialed down version of all the quotes I had saved🤯, and I also edited some of them well since I couldn't very well include multiple paragraphs.... Well, more than I did anyway 😅.
My Favorite Quotes:
****MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW****
☆My thoughts about disappearing–about ☠️–are the most comforting part of my low days. Thinking about ☠️ isn’t always a bad thing, you know. Sometimes, it’s the only thing that gives you any kind of peace. Thoughts about ☠️ can help you live another day.
☆Jesus Christ. Can my Bipolar Disorder’s best friend, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder please pipe the fuck down? 🤣😅🤣
☆But these predictable morning patterns are required if I am to avoid spiraling even further in my depressive episode. The repetition is comforting. The predictability is safe. Doing the same things in the same order every day is important to my sanity.
☆The last thing Nicholas ever uttered in this world, while he fought so hard to undo what he’d done, the last word on his last breath was Hayden. Me. His person.💔😭😭
☆He made a mistake. He didn’t want to ☠️. He just wanted the noise inside his head to stop. For his skin to stop moving. He tried to fix everything, but he broke everything instead.😭
☆Now, I stare into his enlarged pupils on the screen. Now, I can see so clearly that his mania had already breached the surface. He was already drowning. His eyes, already screaming for help. (...) He would live another four hours and fourteen minutes. I should’ve never allowed us to let our guard down. (...) So many fucking should-haves.
(…)
I have everything. But not you. I don’t have you anymore. You left me. But you tried so hard, my love. The noise was too much. The knives only you could see and feel pierced through your skin too harshly that day. You thought the meds would quiet the noise and stop the pain. You fought until there was nothing left in you. It’s okay, my love. What we have–had–have–is eternal.💔😭😭
☆ You’re making it through, he told me at the apartment. Not you made it, or you will make it. He spoke as if I’d accomplished something. Like, making it through, minute by minute, hour by hour, is an accomplishment. As if the present moment, in all its ugliness and unsafety, is still worth something. That I’m still okay, even at my lowest. 🥹😩
☆I wish it could’ve been different, but life doesn’t work that way. Nicholas was my one true love. It’s enough for me. I’ll never find him again. But I have my memories. They are enough. Nicholas was brave, and he fought the good fight until he no longer could. He held on as long as he could, and more than that, I couldn’t have asked of him.🥺😫
☆ “I won’t last,” I gasp into our kiss. Hayden sucks on my tongue before pulling back to whisper, “Look at me, Levi.” My eyes drift open. Hayden reaches down to fist his c・ck. “Come, sweetheart,” he whispers. His endearment ends me. Forehead to forehead, lips sealed to his and my eyes locked with his, I come. My mania abandons me. The darkness of my depression rises up to swallow me. And I know that this is the beginning of the end.
☆ “But I can’t guarantee that we won’t end in tragedy too.” “It doesn’t matter.” “It does, Hayden. What if we end in tragedy?” “Then it will be our tragedy. And I’ll choose tragedy with you over a life without you.”🥹🥺🥹
☆ “What I did was unforgivable.” “It’s not unforgivable,” he says. “How long before I break you, Hayden?” I ask, angry that he won’t acknowledge the destruction I have caused. “You are the very best thing that has ever happened to me, but I will destroy your life. I already have.” “You haven’t destroyed my life.” And then, “I know how to love you just like this, Levi. I know how to love you just as you are.” “You’ve seen the worst, Hayden. You know how this could end. Two nights ago, I didn’t know if I was manic or low. All I knew was that I was in so deep it was swallowing me whole.” (...)
“What will you do when you can’t pull me out of those terrifying lows?” “I’ll sit with you in the silence,” Hayden says quietly, and his unmoving faith in us breaks me.
☆ “And when I couldn’t face what I’d done, I tried to fucking ☠️ myself.” “But you made it through,” Hayden says with so much sadness in his voice. “You told me to come to you. And I did. Doesn’t that count for something?” I sob. “Yes.” I reach forward and fall into his arms. “I knew you would come. It counts for everything. I’m so in love with you, Hayden,” I say. “I’m low, but I know this much. When I’m with you the longing for stillness stops. You’re my quiet.🥹🥺😫 You’re my light when the darkness becomes unbearable, but I’m a lot, Hayden. I’m a commitment most people should run from. There aren’t a lot of people in this world who would tolerate someone like me. I never, not once in my life, ever expected to make a life with someone. I accepted a long time ago that relationships aren’t for me. So, I have to ask you to at least think about this first to make sure it’s what you really want.”
☆ “I was so afraid you wouldn’t want to see me. I didn’t call or text because I didn't want to risk triggering you.” “(...) I know I’m on ☠️ watch, but I don’t want to ☠️, Hayden. I want to live and be happy. I want to live inside my skin and not want to rip it off. I want the noise to stop, but it feels so hopeless sometimes.” “As long as we both breathe there is hope, Levi. So, breathe. Just breathe. I’ll breathe too. And somehow, we’ll make it through.”
☆“No matter how far away from you this disorder may take me, Hayden, I’ll always try and find my way back to you. No matter how dark it gets, I’ll always look for the light.”🥺
☆“Thank you, Hayden.” “Thank you, Levi. I got lost with you in a place not found and I wouldn’t change that for anything in this world.” I gaze up at him. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love him. “I’ll love you with the very best parts of me,” I tell him. He kisses my nose. “Please, Levi. Love me with the very worst parts of you too.” 🥹😩
☆“I got two charms to go with it. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t—” I inspect the bracelet, my smile widening. “I do.” He smiles. “One is a hotdog, to remind you of how much it means to me when you sit with me in the silence. And how thankful I am that you shared that part of your life with Nicholas, with me.” He shows me the second charm. “And this is a peace lily. So you’ll be reminded of how grateful I am for the way you care for me and to let you know that I, too, will honor the love you have for Nicholas. He should never be forgotten.”🥹
Anyway, my favorite quotes are below, and before you start saying how this is a ton of them, this is the dialed down version of all the quotes I had saved🤯, and I also edited some of them well since I couldn't very well include multiple paragraphs.... Well, more than I did anyway 😅.
My Favorite Quotes:
****MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW****
☆My thoughts about disappearing–about ☠️–are the most comforting part of my low days. Thinking about ☠️ isn’t always a bad thing, you know. Sometimes, it’s the only thing that gives you any kind of peace. Thoughts about ☠️ can help you live another day.
☆Jesus Christ. Can my Bipolar Disorder’s best friend, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder please pipe the fuck down? 🤣😅🤣
☆But these predictable morning patterns are required if I am to avoid spiraling even further in my depressive episode. The repetition is comforting. The predictability is safe. Doing the same things in the same order every day is important to my sanity.
☆The last thing Nicholas ever uttered in this world, while he fought so hard to undo what he’d done, the last word on his last breath was Hayden. Me. His person.💔😭😭
☆He made a mistake. He didn’t want to ☠️. He just wanted the noise inside his head to stop. For his skin to stop moving. He tried to fix everything, but he broke everything instead.😭
☆Now, I stare into his enlarged pupils on the screen. Now, I can see so clearly that his mania had already breached the surface. He was already drowning. His eyes, already screaming for help. (...) He would live another four hours and fourteen minutes. I should’ve never allowed us to let our guard down. (...) So many fucking should-haves.
(…)
I have everything. But not you. I don’t have you anymore. You left me. But you tried so hard, my love. The noise was too much. The knives only you could see and feel pierced through your skin too harshly that day. You thought the meds would quiet the noise and stop the pain. You fought until there was nothing left in you. It’s okay, my love. What we have–had–have–is eternal.💔😭😭
☆ You’re making it through, he told me at the apartment. Not you made it, or you will make it. He spoke as if I’d accomplished something. Like, making it through, minute by minute, hour by hour, is an accomplishment. As if the present moment, in all its ugliness and unsafety, is still worth something. That I’m still okay, even at my lowest. 🥹😩
☆I wish it could’ve been different, but life doesn’t work that way. Nicholas was my one true love. It’s enough for me. I’ll never find him again. But I have my memories. They are enough. Nicholas was brave, and he fought the good fight until he no longer could. He held on as long as he could, and more than that, I couldn’t have asked of him.🥺😫
☆ “I won’t last,” I gasp into our kiss. Hayden sucks on my tongue before pulling back to whisper, “Look at me, Levi.” My eyes drift open. Hayden reaches down to fist his c・ck. “Come, sweetheart,” he whispers. His endearment ends me. Forehead to forehead, lips sealed to his and my eyes locked with his, I come. My mania abandons me. The darkness of my depression rises up to swallow me. And I know that this is the beginning of the end.
☆ “But I can’t guarantee that we won’t end in tragedy too.” “It doesn’t matter.” “It does, Hayden. What if we end in tragedy?” “Then it will be our tragedy. And I’ll choose tragedy with you over a life without you.”🥹🥺🥹
☆ “What I did was unforgivable.” “It’s not unforgivable,” he says. “How long before I break you, Hayden?” I ask, angry that he won’t acknowledge the destruction I have caused. “You are the very best thing that has ever happened to me, but I will destroy your life. I already have.” “You haven’t destroyed my life.” And then, “I know how to love you just like this, Levi. I know how to love you just as you are.” “You’ve seen the worst, Hayden. You know how this could end. Two nights ago, I didn’t know if I was manic or low. All I knew was that I was in so deep it was swallowing me whole.” (...)
“What will you do when you can’t pull me out of those terrifying lows?” “I’ll sit with you in the silence,” Hayden says quietly, and his unmoving faith in us breaks me.
☆ “And when I couldn’t face what I’d done, I tried to fucking ☠️ myself.” “But you made it through,” Hayden says with so much sadness in his voice. “You told me to come to you. And I did. Doesn’t that count for something?” I sob. “Yes.” I reach forward and fall into his arms. “I knew you would come. It counts for everything. I’m so in love with you, Hayden,” I say. “I’m low, but I know this much. When I’m with you the longing for stillness stops. You’re my quiet.🥹🥺😫 You’re my light when the darkness becomes unbearable, but I’m a lot, Hayden. I’m a commitment most people should run from. There aren’t a lot of people in this world who would tolerate someone like me. I never, not once in my life, ever expected to make a life with someone. I accepted a long time ago that relationships aren’t for me. So, I have to ask you to at least think about this first to make sure it’s what you really want.”
☆ “I was so afraid you wouldn’t want to see me. I didn’t call or text because I didn't want to risk triggering you.” “(...) I know I’m on ☠️ watch, but I don’t want to ☠️, Hayden. I want to live and be happy. I want to live inside my skin and not want to rip it off. I want the noise to stop, but it feels so hopeless sometimes.” “As long as we both breathe there is hope, Levi. So, breathe. Just breathe. I’ll breathe too. And somehow, we’ll make it through.”
☆“No matter how far away from you this disorder may take me, Hayden, I’ll always try and find my way back to you. No matter how dark it gets, I’ll always look for the light.”🥺
☆“Thank you, Hayden.” “Thank you, Levi. I got lost with you in a place not found and I wouldn’t change that for anything in this world.” I gaze up at him. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love him. “I’ll love you with the very best parts of me,” I tell him. He kisses my nose. “Please, Levi. Love me with the very worst parts of you too.” 🥹😩
☆“I got two charms to go with it. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t—” I inspect the bracelet, my smile widening. “I do.” He smiles. “One is a hotdog, to remind you of how much it means to me when you sit with me in the silence. And how thankful I am that you shared that part of your life with Nicholas, with me.” He shows me the second charm. “And this is a peace lily. So you’ll be reminded of how grateful I am for the way you care for me and to let you know that I, too, will honor the love you have for Nicholas. He should never be forgotten.”🥹
February 27, 2026
Quando è arrivata la richiesta di avere questo romanzo da recensire per il blog, non ho avuto dubbi, me ne avevano parlato già bene in tante, sapevo già che era una storia difficile ma sono felice di averlo letto.
Levi è un giovane che soffre di un disturbo mentale che si manifesta con svariate fasi e lui sa che non potrà mai avere una vita felice, ricorda ancora con tristezza l’ultimo disastroso rapporto affettivo, è rassegnato.
Hayden è un uomo che dopo aver perso l’uomo che amava è diventato l’ombra di sé stesso, un guscio vuoto che non ha voglia di socializzare, è ricco e famoso così come lo era il suo fidanzato, motivo per cui è ancora più infastidito di non poter vivere il dolore per conto suo, ma sempre in primo piano. In un momento di tristezza si rifugia in una galleria d’arte dove lavora Levi e trova un quadro in cui ritrova qualcosa di famigliare, un dolore in cui si rispecchia, scoprire che l’artista è Levi lo porta a convincerlo a dipingere ancora per lui, in fondo hanno qualcosa che li lega…
"Levi impiega più di un’ora per fare la doccia e vestirsi. Ha trascorso dieci minuti sotto il getto e il resto del tempo chiuso in camera. Chiamo Evaline per chiederle una mano. Poi metto in carica il telefono di Levi e gli porto un bicchiere d’acqua, una scusa per entrare in camera sua dopo che ci è rimasto dentro per un’ora di fila. È molto giù. Ha gli occhi vuoti, i suoi movimenti sono lenti. La voce è un po’ impastata. Gli porgo il bicchiere d’acqua. «Hai bisogno di prendere qualche medicina?» chiedo. Annuisce. Apprezzo il tentativo di sorriso. Prende l’acqua e si trascina in cucina."
Sapevo che questa storia non era facile e non è un romanzo per tutti, racconta con delicatezza di dolore, di perdita di una persona amata, di difficoltà nel capire che non si è uguali agli altri, sapere che il tuo cervello non ragiona nello stesso modo di chi ti è accanto.
Levi è un uomo che si è rassegnato a vivere una vita infelice, tanto che spesso ha pensieri in cui non è più su questa Terra, non si sente neanche compreso dalle persone che dovrebbero amarlo incondizionatamente mentre ha l’affetto e l’amicizia sincera del suo capo e di un’amica che vuole solo il suo bene, ma non basta.
Hayden è talmente chiuso nel suo dolore che si rifiuta di essere aiutato anche dai famigliari, sanno quanto è stato importante per lui ma lui non vuole nessuno, si sente in colpa per non aver capito e come Levi anche se in forma diversa, riceve aiuto psicologico ma non sembra abbastanza.
Due anime perse che non sanno uscire dal dolore di cui si sono fatti un’armatura verso il mondo, ho sentito come mia la sofferenza di entrambi che per motivi diversi non vedono luce in fondo al tunnel. Ho apprezzato il percorso ricco di ostacoli e momenti emotivamente molto forti ma che li ha portati più vicini, sicuramente un aspetto che salta all’occhio è la cura con cui l’autrice ha descritto il personaggio di Levi, l’ho trovato molto realistico e coinvolgente.
Una storia potente che ti distrugge e poi trova il modo di ricomporti, senza sconti e senza favole ma con tempo, pazienza e la tenacia di due persone che nel dolore trovano finalmente il loro posto. Stupendo.
Ringrazio davvero tanto la CE per la copia arc, appena posso voglio il cartaceo in libreria tra i top di sempre!
Tfpeel
Levi è un giovane che soffre di un disturbo mentale che si manifesta con svariate fasi e lui sa che non potrà mai avere una vita felice, ricorda ancora con tristezza l’ultimo disastroso rapporto affettivo, è rassegnato.
Hayden è un uomo che dopo aver perso l’uomo che amava è diventato l’ombra di sé stesso, un guscio vuoto che non ha voglia di socializzare, è ricco e famoso così come lo era il suo fidanzato, motivo per cui è ancora più infastidito di non poter vivere il dolore per conto suo, ma sempre in primo piano. In un momento di tristezza si rifugia in una galleria d’arte dove lavora Levi e trova un quadro in cui ritrova qualcosa di famigliare, un dolore in cui si rispecchia, scoprire che l’artista è Levi lo porta a convincerlo a dipingere ancora per lui, in fondo hanno qualcosa che li lega…
"Levi impiega più di un’ora per fare la doccia e vestirsi. Ha trascorso dieci minuti sotto il getto e il resto del tempo chiuso in camera. Chiamo Evaline per chiederle una mano. Poi metto in carica il telefono di Levi e gli porto un bicchiere d’acqua, una scusa per entrare in camera sua dopo che ci è rimasto dentro per un’ora di fila. È molto giù. Ha gli occhi vuoti, i suoi movimenti sono lenti. La voce è un po’ impastata. Gli porgo il bicchiere d’acqua. «Hai bisogno di prendere qualche medicina?» chiedo. Annuisce. Apprezzo il tentativo di sorriso. Prende l’acqua e si trascina in cucina."
Sapevo che questa storia non era facile e non è un romanzo per tutti, racconta con delicatezza di dolore, di perdita di una persona amata, di difficoltà nel capire che non si è uguali agli altri, sapere che il tuo cervello non ragiona nello stesso modo di chi ti è accanto.
Levi è un uomo che si è rassegnato a vivere una vita infelice, tanto che spesso ha pensieri in cui non è più su questa Terra, non si sente neanche compreso dalle persone che dovrebbero amarlo incondizionatamente mentre ha l’affetto e l’amicizia sincera del suo capo e di un’amica che vuole solo il suo bene, ma non basta.
Hayden è talmente chiuso nel suo dolore che si rifiuta di essere aiutato anche dai famigliari, sanno quanto è stato importante per lui ma lui non vuole nessuno, si sente in colpa per non aver capito e come Levi anche se in forma diversa, riceve aiuto psicologico ma non sembra abbastanza.
Due anime perse che non sanno uscire dal dolore di cui si sono fatti un’armatura verso il mondo, ho sentito come mia la sofferenza di entrambi che per motivi diversi non vedono luce in fondo al tunnel. Ho apprezzato il percorso ricco di ostacoli e momenti emotivamente molto forti ma che li ha portati più vicini, sicuramente un aspetto che salta all’occhio è la cura con cui l’autrice ha descritto il personaggio di Levi, l’ho trovato molto realistico e coinvolgente.
Una storia potente che ti distrugge e poi trova il modo di ricomporti, senza sconti e senza favole ma con tempo, pazienza e la tenacia di due persone che nel dolore trovano finalmente il loro posto. Stupendo.
Ringrazio davvero tanto la CE per la copia arc, appena posso voglio il cartaceo in libreria tra i top di sempre!
Tfpeel
May 3, 2024
The story of Levi & Hadyen, a story about mental health, loss of a loved one and trying to find yourself again, accepting who you are and that you are good enough, learning to love yourself and being able to give love again.
This book is a HURT/comfort, it hurts you feel it throughout your body. It is written in a way as if you are standing next to these beautiful men, you are sharing the pain with them. I wanted to hold them, I wanted to shake them and yes, they also made me laugh terribly. But most of all I want to put them away somewhere so that they are safe and the outside world can never hurt them again.
Levi oh my gosh how I love Levi. A beautiful creative soul who literally trudges through life. He has accepted his fate and will simply live until death comes. He considers himself a burden to everyone in his family and environment, and he doesn't bring anything good. He is definitely not relationship material.
Levi is very honest and clear about his biopalar disorder and his feelings, you climb with him to his mania and you fall into his deep depressions. This is written in such a beautiful way that you really feel it deep inside.
Hayden, everyone deserves a Hayden in their life. But he is stuck in grief, his fiance (Nicholas) has died in a car accident, Hayden takes all the blame and simply cannot live a normal life without his great love. When Hayden ends up at a gallery and sees Levi there, he sees a lot of his deceased loved one in Levi.
Levi is battling his mental health and Hayden is battling grief, the road ahead is very tough. They are both looking for a happy and safe place.
Will they find it?
Now I am a really big fan of Jen's books, they are written with so much feeling and emotion that you really feel. This book is another masterpiece and really beautiful.
If you can handle this, the heavier emotional books, then you should really read this one!
These 2 men deserve the world!
This book is a HURT/comfort, it hurts you feel it throughout your body. It is written in a way as if you are standing next to these beautiful men, you are sharing the pain with them. I wanted to hold them, I wanted to shake them and yes, they also made me laugh terribly. But most of all I want to put them away somewhere so that they are safe and the outside world can never hurt them again.
Levi oh my gosh how I love Levi. A beautiful creative soul who literally trudges through life. He has accepted his fate and will simply live until death comes. He considers himself a burden to everyone in his family and environment, and he doesn't bring anything good. He is definitely not relationship material.
Levi is very honest and clear about his biopalar disorder and his feelings, you climb with him to his mania and you fall into his deep depressions. This is written in such a beautiful way that you really feel it deep inside.
Hayden, everyone deserves a Hayden in their life. But he is stuck in grief, his fiance (Nicholas) has died in a car accident, Hayden takes all the blame and simply cannot live a normal life without his great love. When Hayden ends up at a gallery and sees Levi there, he sees a lot of his deceased loved one in Levi.
Levi is battling his mental health and Hayden is battling grief, the road ahead is very tough. They are both looking for a happy and safe place.
Will they find it?
Now I am a really big fan of Jen's books, they are written with so much feeling and emotion that you really feel. This book is another masterpiece and really beautiful.
If you can handle this, the heavier emotional books, then you should really read this one!
These 2 men deserve the world!
July 19, 2024
usually when i love a book i finish it like 3 days and speed run it, this is one of the books where u cant do that, u have to take ur time and sit with it, and im so happy i took my time to read it bc it was deserving of every second i spent on this book
levi is one of the most magnetic and enchanting characters ever. every burden and sadness he has i felt in my soul, he is one of my favorite ppl in the world and i loved how the author showed to the dichotomy of low levi and manic levi, manic levi made me so upset and frustrated and low levi made me wanna give him a hug, but nothing beats the stable happy levi
hayden didn't vibe with me at first bc it felt like he was trying to fill the void of nicky with levi, and for a good amount of the book i felt that way, only rly towards the end i was able to understand that hayden CAN love them both at once, and it was interesting dynamic that was explored and i love how accepting levi was of it
haydens care for levi was unmatched, i've never seen someone so attuned to their partner, he loves levi perfectly and respectfully without losing the love he has for nicky bc they are different ppl and that's what hayden learned, loving them is different even though they both are bipolar
the mental health in this book was insane, probably some of the best ive ever read, i felt so seen and safe with these characters (even tho im not bipolar)
i will say the romance is secondary in this book, i came for mh rep and got that, but romance? while i got SOME of it, it isn't the greatest love story ever, its just hayden and levi and i love it <3
"i'm making it through." - levi anderson
levi is one of the most magnetic and enchanting characters ever. every burden and sadness he has i felt in my soul, he is one of my favorite ppl in the world and i loved how the author showed to the dichotomy of low levi and manic levi, manic levi made me so upset and frustrated and low levi made me wanna give him a hug, but nothing beats the stable happy levi
hayden didn't vibe with me at first bc it felt like he was trying to fill the void of nicky with levi, and for a good amount of the book i felt that way, only rly towards the end i was able to understand that hayden CAN love them both at once, and it was interesting dynamic that was explored and i love how accepting levi was of it
haydens care for levi was unmatched, i've never seen someone so attuned to their partner, he loves levi perfectly and respectfully without losing the love he has for nicky bc they are different ppl and that's what hayden learned, loving them is different even though they both are bipolar
the mental health in this book was insane, probably some of the best ive ever read, i felt so seen and safe with these characters (even tho im not bipolar)
i will say the romance is secondary in this book, i came for mh rep and got that, but romance? while i got SOME of it, it isn't the greatest love story ever, its just hayden and levi and i love it <3
"i'm making it through." - levi anderson
December 8, 2024
Where most books only dip their toes in to the mental health waters, this dives right in to the deep end. Both characters, Hayden & Levi have lived with Bipolar Disorder. Levi struggles with it every day and Hayden’s lived through it with his fiancé who suffered from it.
These two are brought together by chance and have to decide if it’s worth exploring a relationship together. Levi doesn’t feel he’s capable or worthy of love and Hayden isn’t sure if his feelings are true for Levi or if he’s just trying to save him, since he wasn’t able to save his fiancé.
The first two thirds of this book are phenomenal. As a reader, you feel Levi’s highs and lows and you’re immersed in his thoughts. His snarky inner monologue is one of my favorite parts of the story. Jen Samson writes him perfectly.
The last third seemed to have too much happening and tied up too easily, ending on a bit of a sappy note. My rating slowly dropped from 5-Stars to 3-Stars during this time.
If you are looking for a heavier, emotional book dealing with mental health, this is worth reading. Just know it doesn’t finish up as strong as it starts…but, overall the characters and their stories are good.
These two are brought together by chance and have to decide if it’s worth exploring a relationship together. Levi doesn’t feel he’s capable or worthy of love and Hayden isn’t sure if his feelings are true for Levi or if he’s just trying to save him, since he wasn’t able to save his fiancé.
The first two thirds of this book are phenomenal. As a reader, you feel Levi’s highs and lows and you’re immersed in his thoughts. His snarky inner monologue is one of my favorite parts of the story. Jen Samson writes him perfectly.
The last third seemed to have too much happening and tied up too easily, ending on a bit of a sappy note. My rating slowly dropped from 5-Stars to 3-Stars during this time.
If you are looking for a heavier, emotional book dealing with mental health, this is worth reading. Just know it doesn’t finish up as strong as it starts…but, overall the characters and their stories are good.
May 9, 2024
Honestly there may not be words for this book. First to Jen-
Thank you for tackling the hard. For writing stories and characters that are real and breathtakingly painful so as a reader we can truly feel and empathize, so we can learn and grow and love people better.
With that said....Hayden and Levi are the most beautiful love story I've read in a long time. The ability you gave us to truly see Bipolar Disorder in a way that is both beautiful and tragic. That there can be beauty in the chaos...that this disorder doesn't have to keep you from love even though it's SO hard both for the one with Bipolar and the ones loving them.
Read this book....know your triggers but please read this stunning story of love and heartache and how we can heal even through the pain.
Saying anything more would spoil this story and you need to live the experience that is this book.
Thank you for tackling the hard. For writing stories and characters that are real and breathtakingly painful so as a reader we can truly feel and empathize, so we can learn and grow and love people better.
With that said....Hayden and Levi are the most beautiful love story I've read in a long time. The ability you gave us to truly see Bipolar Disorder in a way that is both beautiful and tragic. That there can be beauty in the chaos...that this disorder doesn't have to keep you from love even though it's SO hard both for the one with Bipolar and the ones loving them.
Read this book....know your triggers but please read this stunning story of love and heartache and how we can heal even through the pain.
Saying anything more would spoil this story and you need to live the experience that is this book.
January 8, 2026
10 stelle
Lo ammetto. Non sono in grado di trovare le parole adatte per descrivere la bellezza di questo romanzo.
Mi si è incrinato il cuore parecchie volte durante la lettura.
L’autrice ha fatto un lavoro straordinario di ricerca e lo ha reso perfettamente in prosa.
Penso sia uno dei libri più belli, approfonditi e veritieri sull’argomento.
Si può essere d’accordo o meno con ciò che scrivo, ma uso un solo criterio: onestà intellettuale. Sempre.
Lo ammetto. Non sono in grado di trovare le parole adatte per descrivere la bellezza di questo romanzo.
Mi si è incrinato il cuore parecchie volte durante la lettura.
L’autrice ha fatto un lavoro straordinario di ricerca e lo ha reso perfettamente in prosa.
Penso sia uno dei libri più belli, approfonditi e veritieri sull’argomento.
Si può essere d’accordo o meno con ciò che scrivo, ma uso un solo criterio: onestà intellettuale. Sempre.
March 1, 2026
Mi è piaciuto moltissimo. Ho letto le ultime 150 pagine con gli occhi lucidi. 🤧🥹 La storia di Levi e Hayden è sofferta, dolorosa, piena di ostacoli, ma anche piena di speranza. Queste parole Hayden mi hanno colpito al cuore : "Ci sarà speranza finché entrambi respireremo Levi. Quindi, respira. Respira e basta.Lo farò anch'io. E in qualche modo ce la faremo" Stupendo. ❤️🩹❤️❤️🩹❤️
May 7, 2024
4.5 stars
Did not finish
March 25, 2026non fa proprio per me
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