Smart Conflict: How to have hard conversations at work

by Alice Driscoll

A highly practical, immediately implementable guide to getting good at conflict at work.

The ability to engage with healthy conflict is a crucial element of high performance, and the foundation of collaborative, inclusive and innovative cultures.

Drawing on the latest evidence and thinking from psychology and coaching research, Smart Conflict will equip you with the skills you need to manage conflict with confidence and compassion.

As experienced conflict and leadership team coaches, Alice Driscoll and Louise van Haarst know that not enough conflict, of the right kind, is just as damaging to teams and organizations as having too much of the wrong kind. Whether your default conflict style is avoidant, inflexible or aggressive, this book will give you the tools to embrace Smart Conflict and transform your leadership, your team and maybe your life.

250 pages, Paperback

Published September 16, 2025

Reviews

[Literary Redhead · Rating 5 out of 5]

A superb guide for dealing with conflict in the workplace, with excellent strategies that also can be applied to one's personal life. Highly recommended!

[Mahnoor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks Netgalley for the ARC! I love reading self-help books and exploring new areas to grow and improve on. So, this book gives me my own unique approaches when it comes to conflict. It provided me with a strategy to use my ability to sense other people’s intentions and turn their attacks into a disadvantage for them. It’s a book that helps us to learn how to use our own authenticity and indifference as a weapon.

For me personally, Part 2 ‘The Smart Conflict Five R Model’, was the most important. It tells us about Reflection, a process of pausing and becoming aware of what we are feeling and why we are feeling it. It taught me to be present and to observe my emotions without judgment. Regulation, the ability to manage our emotional state. I learnt to calm myself down when I’m feeling overwhelmed. It helps with coping mechanisms to manage my emotions in a healthy way. Readiness, a way of preparing ourselves for a difficult situation. It teaches us to anticipate potential challenges and to develop a plan for how to handle them. It teaches us to be proactive rather than reactive, which I loved. Response, this is the process of reacting to a situation in a thoughtful and intentional way. It’s one of my main targets to choose my actions rather than letting our emotions control us. I want to respond in a way that is consistent with my values and goals. And finally, the Repair, the process of making amends after a difficult situation. It teaches us to take responsibility for our actions and to repair any harm that we may have caused. It helps us to rebuild trust and to move forward in a healthy way.

I wasn’t expecting to be so glued to reading this book, but if I'm honest, it’s far better than what I thought it was going to be like. This book just got released yesterday, it’s only 250 pages, so a super quick

[Dora Okeyo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Conflict is one of the things that any leader or colleague will tell you that they have no clear guidelines on how to manage it. I have come across people who have diverse ideas, a mix of things- and never a detailed book that focuses on the types of conflict, understanding conflict and above all how to repair a relationship post a conflict, and I am glad that this book had these.
The author explores 5 Rs of smart conflict and devotes a chapter to unpacking each of the Rs.
My absolute favourite and major reminder among the Rs, was the discussion that focused on being ready and two key questions that I want to implement and practice more often in the coming weeks; "does it need saying?" and "does it need to be said by me?"
I believe these would stop me from most of the conflicts I encounter and I cannot wait to build it up.
This is a book that I would recommend to anyone in a workplace environment or someone who manages teams, leads and guides teams as an absolute great read to enjoy.
Thanks Netgalley for the eARC.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

While this is probably even more effective as a seminar, I am glad to have this book of tools to hand in future. I believe this will be an important reference for me personally but also would recommend it to people across ages and industries to hone an important skill.

[Darya · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a masterclass in navigating one of the most uncomfortable—and unavoidable—aspects of work: difficult conversations. Instead of avoiding or minimizing conflict, this book empowers readers to face it head-on with clarity, empathy, and strategic intent.
What sets this book apart is its practical and accessible approach. The authors skillfully break down the emotional and psychological barriers that often make workplace conflict so challenging. Through real-world examples, actionable tools, and a strong grounding in behavioral science, Driscoll and Haarst guide readers through everything from confronting underperformance to addressing bias or managing tension in team dynamics.
The writing is crisp, relatable, and free of corporate jargon. Whether you're a new manager or a seasoned executive, you’ll find frameworks and insights that you can apply immediately. Particularly valuable are the scripts and prompts for handling high-stakes conversations—these alone are worth the price of the book.
Smart Conflict isn’t just about managing disagreements; it’s about fostering a culture of honesty, respect, and growth. It encourages leaders to lean into discomfort in order to build stronger teams and healthier organizations.
Highly recommended for anyone serious about improving communication, building trust, and becoming a more emotionally intelligent leader.