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Virago Press Ltd The Unfamiliar A Queer Motherhood Memoir.
An unconventional, unexpectedly funny, brutally honest memoir about infertility, pregnancy and motherhood
'You and your partner want a baby. But your two bodies can't make a baby together.'
If you want a baby but your body says otherwise -
If you don't know the polite way to say thank you for the sperm -
If you're waiting for the sound of a brand-new heartbeat -
If you know it takes a village to raise a baby but have no idea who should be doing what -
If you're lurching between bliss and bewilderment -
If you don't fit the shape of what you've been told a mother should be -
Reach for The Unfamiliar and don't let go.
Moving and immersive, and written with wisdom, disarming humour and raw honesty, The Unfamiliar casts a fresh eye on motherhood and challenges our assumptions about pregnancy, gender roles, queer identity and what it means to be a parent.
'Cold, hard, raw writing that somehow sets your heart on fire' LAURA DOCKRILL
'Fierce, honest, beautifully written... A marvel' PRAGYA AGARWAL
'Kirsty Logan writes with bright wit and wonder - I read this book in awe' DOIREANN NÍ GHRÍOFA
'Wonderful... Luminous writing captures the uncertainty, the fear, the sheer physicality of love' MARIANNE LEVY
'You and your partner want a baby. But your two bodies can't make a baby together.'
If you want a baby but your body says otherwise -
If you don't know the polite way to say thank you for the sperm -
If you're waiting for the sound of a brand-new heartbeat -
If you know it takes a village to raise a baby but have no idea who should be doing what -
If you're lurching between bliss and bewilderment -
If you don't fit the shape of what you've been told a mother should be -
Reach for The Unfamiliar and don't let go.
Moving and immersive, and written with wisdom, disarming humour and raw honesty, The Unfamiliar casts a fresh eye on motherhood and challenges our assumptions about pregnancy, gender roles, queer identity and what it means to be a parent.
'Cold, hard, raw writing that somehow sets your heart on fire' LAURA DOCKRILL
'Fierce, honest, beautifully written... A marvel' PRAGYA AGARWAL
'Kirsty Logan writes with bright wit and wonder - I read this book in awe' DOIREANN NÍ GHRÍOFA
'Wonderful... Luminous writing captures the uncertainty, the fear, the sheer physicality of love' MARIANNE LEVY
240 pages, Paperback
Published June 6, 2024
5 people are currently reading
580 people want to read
About the author
Kirsty Logan
82 books1,476 followersKirsty Logan is a professional daydreamer. She is the author of two novels, The Gloaming and The Gracekeepers, and two story collections, A Portable Shelter and The Rental Heart & Other Fairytales. Her fifth book, Things We Say in the Dark, will be published on Halloween 2019.
Kirsty lives in Glasgow with her wife and their rescue dog. She has tattooed toes.
Kirsty lives in Glasgow with her wife and their rescue dog. She has tattooed toes.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
January 25, 2024
I’ve read one of Kirsty Logan’s novels and dipped into her short stories. I immediately knew her parenting memoir would be up my street, but wondered how her fantasy/horror style might translate into nonfiction. Second-person narration is perfect for describing her journey into motherhood: a way of capturing the bewildering weirdness of this time but also forcing the reader to experience it firsthand. It is, in a way, as feminist and surreal as her other work. “You and your partner want a baby. But your two bodies can’t make a baby together. So you need some sperm.” That opening paragraph is a jolt, and the frank present-tense storytelling carries all through.
To start with, Logan’s wife Annie tried getting pregnant. They had a known sperm donor and did home insemination, then advanced to IVF. But after three miscarriages and a failed cycle, they took a doctor’s advice and switched to the younger womb – Logan’s, by four years. As “The Planning” makes way for “The Growing,” it helps that Annie knows exactly what she’s going through. The pregnancy sticks, though the fear of something going wrong never abates, and after the alternating magic and discomfort of those nine months (“You’ve reached the ‘shoplifting a honeydew’ stage”) it’s time for “The Birth,” as horrific an account as I’ve read. The baby had shifted to be back-to-back, which required an emergency C-section, but before that there was a sense of total helplessness, abandonment to unmanaged pain.
What is remarkable is how Logan recreates this time so intensely – she took notes all through the pregnancy, plus on her phone in hospital and in the early days after bringing the baby home – but can also see how, even in the first hours, she was shaping it into a narrative. “You like that it’s a story. You like that it’s Gothic and gory … and funny.” Except it wasn’t. “You thought you were going to die.” And yet. “How can the lucid, everyday world explain this? The wonder, the curiosity, the recognition. The baby has lived inside your body, and you’ve only just met. The baby is your familiar, and deeply unfamiliar.”
This reminded me of other memoirs I’ve read about queer family-making, especially Small by Claire Lynch, which similarly turns on the decision about which female partner will carry the pregnancy and is written in an experimental style. The Unfamiliar is utterly absorbing and conveys so much about the author and her family, even weaving in her father’s death seven years before. I’ve signed up for Logan’s online memoir-writing course (“Where to Start and Where to End”) organised by Writers & Artists (part of Bloomsbury) for next month.
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
To start with, Logan’s wife Annie tried getting pregnant. They had a known sperm donor and did home insemination, then advanced to IVF. But after three miscarriages and a failed cycle, they took a doctor’s advice and switched to the younger womb – Logan’s, by four years. As “The Planning” makes way for “The Growing,” it helps that Annie knows exactly what she’s going through. The pregnancy sticks, though the fear of something going wrong never abates, and after the alternating magic and discomfort of those nine months (“You’ve reached the ‘shoplifting a honeydew’ stage”) it’s time for “The Birth,” as horrific an account as I’ve read. The baby had shifted to be back-to-back, which required an emergency C-section, but before that there was a sense of total helplessness, abandonment to unmanaged pain.
Finally the doctor comes. She asks what you would like, and you, shaking shitting pissing bleeding, unable to see when the pain reaches its peak, not screaming, not swearing, not being rude to anyone, not begging for an epidural, … say: I’d like to try some gas and air, if that’s okay, please.
What is remarkable is how Logan recreates this time so intensely – she took notes all through the pregnancy, plus on her phone in hospital and in the early days after bringing the baby home – but can also see how, even in the first hours, she was shaping it into a narrative. “You like that it’s a story. You like that it’s Gothic and gory … and funny.” Except it wasn’t. “You thought you were going to die.” And yet. “How can the lucid, everyday world explain this? The wonder, the curiosity, the recognition. The baby has lived inside your body, and you’ve only just met. The baby is your familiar, and deeply unfamiliar.”
This reminded me of other memoirs I’ve read about queer family-making, especially Small by Claire Lynch, which similarly turns on the decision about which female partner will carry the pregnancy and is written in an experimental style. The Unfamiliar is utterly absorbing and conveys so much about the author and her family, even weaving in her father’s death seven years before. I’ve signed up for Logan’s online memoir-writing course (“Where to Start and Where to End”) organised by Writers & Artists (part of Bloomsbury) for next month.
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
Read
August 24, 2024 Does what it says: it's a memoir of queer motherhood, of the writer and her partner trying to get pregnant, of finding a donor, going through IVF, dealing with failed cycles, and then trying again with the writer, rather than her partner, attempting to get pregnant. It's beautifully written and thoughtful, and in places absolutely harrowing - the writer describes, with great precision, the experience of having an almost fatally disastrous labour during the peak of the covid lockdowns, when no one could come close enough to help - and I am very glad to have read it.
April 20, 2024
Not a comfortable read - it's visceral, gory and intense, but so full of love. Would happily inhale another hundred queer motherhood memoirs!
October 14, 2024
Bardzo szczery i osobisty memoir, w którym autorka opowiada o swoich i swojej partnerki doświadczeniach starań o ciążę, próbach in vitro i w końcu ciąży i początków macierzyństwa. Świetnie napisana i poprowadzona (chyba pierwszy raz podobało mi się zastosowanie narracji drugoosobowej) queerowa perspektywa pragnienia dziecka i wszystkich trudności, które się wiążą zarówno z tym pragnieniem, jak i z jego urzeczywistnieniem.
February 3, 2025
Harrowing, raw, and at times physically relatable. I loved the way this was written (although some might not warm to it), and Logan does an excellent narration. I'd highly recommend the audiobook specifically, it felt really gut-wrenching at times.
July 21, 2023
I was drawn to this as a fan of Kirsty's writing already,but this was so bloody good.
Such a raw and personal memoir that I found really moving.
5 star reads have been vanishingly rare for me of late but this was one from the first page honestly.
Such a raw and personal memoir that I found really moving.
5 star reads have been vanishingly rare for me of late but this was one from the first page honestly.
August 23, 2023
You can truly tell that Kirsty Logan is a fantasy author and not just a non-fiction author because this was such a beautifully-written yet harrowing recollection of her own journey through motherhood. Highly, highly recommend, as with everything else I've read by Kirsty Logan!
July 31, 2023
I recently attended an event at @categoryisbooks to hear @kirstylogan speak about her new queer motherhood memoir The Unfamiliar.
I was apprehensive about picking this up as we are at early stages of our own journey to becoming parents and I know the book comes with a whole bunch of trigger warnings (definitely look them up before you delve in), but after hearing Kirsty speak so openly and honestly at the event and seeing some of our own journey in her words I knew I couldn’t wait. I 100% made the right decision.
In true Kirsty Logan style she takes the things we think but don’t want anyone else to hear and lays them out on the page. The use of second person helps to absorb the reader into the story so that it feels like your journey to motherhood and not the authors. Literally putting yourself in their shoes.
Despite the at times traumatic subject matter within I left The Unfamiliar with my heart full. As queer people trying to become parents our journey is not that of the norm, it’s not one that many surrounding you will understand or be able to help you navigate. But by sharing their journey (side note: actually hate that word it feels v flowery haha) we see that we are not isolated, people do understand and that all the stress, intrusive thoughts, absolutely tragic moments can be worth it in the end. To feel that fierce love that parenthood can ultimately bring.
Despite my ramblings above I really find it hard to put into words how much this book has impacted me. I can’t thank Kirsty and her family for allowing us in and for supporting those of us that need it 💛. This book has came along at just the right time for me and my family and it’s one I’ll visit again and again over the next few years.
I was apprehensive about picking this up as we are at early stages of our own journey to becoming parents and I know the book comes with a whole bunch of trigger warnings (definitely look them up before you delve in), but after hearing Kirsty speak so openly and honestly at the event and seeing some of our own journey in her words I knew I couldn’t wait. I 100% made the right decision.
In true Kirsty Logan style she takes the things we think but don’t want anyone else to hear and lays them out on the page. The use of second person helps to absorb the reader into the story so that it feels like your journey to motherhood and not the authors. Literally putting yourself in their shoes.
Despite the at times traumatic subject matter within I left The Unfamiliar with my heart full. As queer people trying to become parents our journey is not that of the norm, it’s not one that many surrounding you will understand or be able to help you navigate. But by sharing their journey (side note: actually hate that word it feels v flowery haha) we see that we are not isolated, people do understand and that all the stress, intrusive thoughts, absolutely tragic moments can be worth it in the end. To feel that fierce love that parenthood can ultimately bring.
Despite my ramblings above I really find it hard to put into words how much this book has impacted me. I can’t thank Kirsty and her family for allowing us in and for supporting those of us that need it 💛. This book has came along at just the right time for me and my family and it’s one I’ll visit again and again over the next few years.
March 18, 2024
Read March 2024
I’m not really the target audience for a book about a fertility journey, pregnancy, and motherhood (tbh, I don’t think I would have picked this up had I not previously loved Kirsty Logan’s work), but it’s really good and I’m glad I gave it a chance.
.
Like Kirsty also mentions in here, it’s often said that memoirs should be written once you’re far enough removed from what you’re writing about, not while you’re still going through it. But that’s not what she did with this book and for me that’s actually what makes it so strong. It feels raw, emotional and like you’re there with her. Not a reflection on the events with the edges softened by the years that have gone by.
.
Also, I love Logan’s writing and the choice for the second-person pov worked really well for me.
I’m not really the target audience for a book about a fertility journey, pregnancy, and motherhood (tbh, I don’t think I would have picked this up had I not previously loved Kirsty Logan’s work), but it’s really good and I’m glad I gave it a chance.
.
Like Kirsty also mentions in here, it’s often said that memoirs should be written once you’re far enough removed from what you’re writing about, not while you’re still going through it. But that’s not what she did with this book and for me that’s actually what makes it so strong. It feels raw, emotional and like you’re there with her. Not a reflection on the events with the edges softened by the years that have gone by.
.
Also, I love Logan’s writing and the choice for the second-person pov worked really well for me.
August 8, 2023
What a good, hard-hitting but also beautiful memoir! I know it may sound weird - Logan writes unflinchingly about the emotional toll of trying to get pregnant, of miscarriages, of the discomfort of being pregnant, her intense anxiety, and her traumatic childbirth as well as the aftermath of that - but it actually makes me want to have a baby even more than I already did (those ovaries have been rattling for a while). It's probably because she also writes so beautifully of the love and the joy that comes with pregnancy and then having a child (none for childbirth, the only joy in that is that it's over).
P.S. This book openly declares itself to be a queer motherhood memoir, and it obviously is, but don't let that prevent you from reading it if you yourself are not queer.
P.S. This book openly declares itself to be a queer motherhood memoir, and it obviously is, but don't let that prevent you from reading it if you yourself are not queer.
March 6, 2024
The idea of pregnancy and motherhood is so scary and mysterious to me, especially since it'll (maybe one day who knows) diverge from the heteronormative experience. This was such a lovely (and still terrifying) insight from an amazing writer. Another memoir listened to via audio book in the author's voice - always slaps.
She did a talk about it online, was very interestin' to see her chat about it a bit before getting into it.
She did a talk about it online, was very interestin' to see her chat about it a bit before getting into it.
August 13, 2024
Oh wow, this was really interesting! I expected this to be more about the trials of navigating laws and society as queer mothers, but it was a deep reflection on the process of trying to get pregnant, and the unseen losses that women go through just to have a baby.
This memoir really dives into the entire emotional experience of the entire process, from finding donors, timing your cycle, moving on to IVF, and then the raw experiences of pregnancy and birth itself. I think many people would be able to deeply relate to this author's experiences, and she does not hold back at all- she writes thoroughly about the entire process, from the good to the very dark and sad.
This was certainly interesting as a queer woman, and you get some insight on the laws regarding queer motherhood in the UK, but I would recommend this book specifically to anyone struggling with getting pregnant and starting a family, regardless of sexuality.
This memoir really dives into the entire emotional experience of the entire process, from finding donors, timing your cycle, moving on to IVF, and then the raw experiences of pregnancy and birth itself. I think many people would be able to deeply relate to this author's experiences, and she does not hold back at all- she writes thoroughly about the entire process, from the good to the very dark and sad.
This was certainly interesting as a queer woman, and you get some insight on the laws regarding queer motherhood in the UK, but I would recommend this book specifically to anyone struggling with getting pregnant and starting a family, regardless of sexuality.
November 23, 2024
Things I liked:
- the queer aspects of a journey towards motherhood, the hardships (conceiving, donors & ‚coming out‘ over and over again) and the good parts (knowing how to relate to the pregnant experience, a loving support system, the donor couple being a part of their lives)
- the rawness and even the graphic parts of her pregnancy descriptions
- the educational character of the book
Things I liked less:
- it felt more like a journal, a collection of notes (which it actually is) than a memoir, very fresh still
- Covid 19 mentions (I know it‘s part of the timeline but i‘d rather just not hear about it ever again)
- i would‘ve loved to read more about queer motherhood in itself, including the community and what comes with it, at times it felt more like a motherhood book written by a queer woman within today‘s societal norms (marriage, nuclear family, close family support system)
Things i felt neutral about:
- the second person writing (even though i had to get used to it)
- the fact that she‘s a writer and constantly thinks about how to work as a writer when pregnant/a mother
In conclusion, the book is enjoyable and i has its qualities. I would highly recommend it to give to all the men in your life! It‘s an accessible intro to queer motherhood and motherhood in general. A linear well-written memoir, missing a little something to be great.
- the queer aspects of a journey towards motherhood, the hardships (conceiving, donors & ‚coming out‘ over and over again) and the good parts (knowing how to relate to the pregnant experience, a loving support system, the donor couple being a part of their lives)
- the rawness and even the graphic parts of her pregnancy descriptions
- the educational character of the book
Things I liked less:
- it felt more like a journal, a collection of notes (which it actually is) than a memoir, very fresh still
- Covid 19 mentions (I know it‘s part of the timeline but i‘d rather just not hear about it ever again)
- i would‘ve loved to read more about queer motherhood in itself, including the community and what comes with it, at times it felt more like a motherhood book written by a queer woman within today‘s societal norms (marriage, nuclear family, close family support system)
Things i felt neutral about:
- the second person writing (even though i had to get used to it)
- the fact that she‘s a writer and constantly thinks about how to work as a writer when pregnant/a mother
In conclusion, the book is enjoyable and i has its qualities. I would highly recommend it to give to all the men in your life! It‘s an accessible intro to queer motherhood and motherhood in general. A linear well-written memoir, missing a little something to be great.
December 22, 2023
There were some very good aspects of this book - it has an amazingly vivid description of birth, and I hadn't read such a realistic depiction of prenatal miscarriage anxiety before.
Personally however I found it hard to get on with the writing style - the book is written entirely in the 2nd person, and no-one has a name, it's just "your partner", "your friend" etc.. The baby is just that, "the baby", even after the birth, and is referred to as "it" rather than he/she/them. Other people have enjoyed the style though so this really is just personal preference.
Personally however I found it hard to get on with the writing style - the book is written entirely in the 2nd person, and no-one has a name, it's just "your partner", "your friend" etc.. The baby is just that, "the baby", even after the birth, and is referred to as "it" rather than he/she/them. Other people have enjoyed the style though so this really is just personal preference.
June 14, 2024
The Unfamiliar is about Kirsty Logan's experience of trying to conceive with her wife. She recounts the challenges, horrors and joy that comes with motherhood.
The memoir is split up into the phases of trying to have a child: the planning, the growing, the birth and the baby. It begins with the biological struggles that they have to depend on someone else, a sperm donor and the struggles. She talks about her wife's miscarriages, her struggles with IVF and the pressure this puts on them both.
Then what follows is intense anxiety at the fears of miscarriage, stillbirth and more. It made my heart clench. How Logan is branded an amber risk because of her prior mental health struggles and the weight this places.
By the time we get to the birth, we deal with the body horrors, the pain, the gore and more. It's here where I feel like Logan's other writing and focus on body horror and gore come through. It feels visceral and truthful. By the end of the book she brings some reflection but also speaks about wanting to bring the honesty and the notes from the moment she was living whilst she grew and birthed a child. It feels intense and personal and also very real. How she herself feels these moments might not be real but are and I was drawn in.
Beneath it all though she talks about her relationship with her partner, the support, the village (aka family) helping and what it means to be a mum and a mama. Queer motherhood in all its difficulties and joy.
This book is beautiful in the writing and whilst it's raw and visceral it feels real. I connected with Logan and her writing and devoured this in a single evening (so you know it's engaging). It reminded me that I thoroughly enjoyed Logan's Things We Say in the Dark and fully intend to read more of her work!
The memoir is split up into the phases of trying to have a child: the planning, the growing, the birth and the baby. It begins with the biological struggles that they have to depend on someone else, a sperm donor and the struggles. She talks about her wife's miscarriages, her struggles with IVF and the pressure this puts on them both.
Then what follows is intense anxiety at the fears of miscarriage, stillbirth and more. It made my heart clench. How Logan is branded an amber risk because of her prior mental health struggles and the weight this places.
By the time we get to the birth, we deal with the body horrors, the pain, the gore and more. It's here where I feel like Logan's other writing and focus on body horror and gore come through. It feels visceral and truthful. By the end of the book she brings some reflection but also speaks about wanting to bring the honesty and the notes from the moment she was living whilst she grew and birthed a child. It feels intense and personal and also very real. How she herself feels these moments might not be real but are and I was drawn in.
Beneath it all though she talks about her relationship with her partner, the support, the village (aka family) helping and what it means to be a mum and a mama. Queer motherhood in all its difficulties and joy.
This book is beautiful in the writing and whilst it's raw and visceral it feels real. I connected with Logan and her writing and devoured this in a single evening (so you know it's engaging). It reminded me that I thoroughly enjoyed Logan's Things We Say in the Dark and fully intend to read more of her work!
January 9, 2024
My most dominant feeling after finishing this book is gratitude for its existence. Calling a book like this bold and vulnerable feels trite, but I don't really know what words would suit it better. Writing experiences of queer pregnancy and parenting into visibility is so important, and Logan goes about it in a way that feels very honest and nuanced. I also enjoyed the moments where she addresses the gap between experience and language. I'm not usually a huge fan of such meta-commentary, but in this case it was an important factor in making the writing so impactful.
My main complaint is just that I wanted even more: to read about how Logan an her partner initially knew they wanted to have a child, about the process of choosing who will carry the baby, those kinds of preparations and decisions. To be fair, I'm already baffled by Logan's ability to publish such personal work and it feels rude to want to push those boundaries even further, but I'm just so fascinated!
I've had several of Logan's fiction books on my reading list for a while, but somehow still ended up starting here. In some ways, this book probably resonates even deeper if the reader is familiar with her style and themes, but I didn't feel left out either. I'll certainly make sure to check out her other books and will then gladly return to this one!
My main complaint is just that I wanted even more: to read about how Logan an her partner initially knew they wanted to have a child, about the process of choosing who will carry the baby, those kinds of preparations and decisions. To be fair, I'm already baffled by Logan's ability to publish such personal work and it feels rude to want to push those boundaries even further, but I'm just so fascinated!
I've had several of Logan's fiction books on my reading list for a while, but somehow still ended up starting here. In some ways, this book probably resonates even deeper if the reader is familiar with her style and themes, but I didn't feel left out either. I'll certainly make sure to check out her other books and will then gladly return to this one!
December 19, 2024
ok so. technically speaking it’s probably more of a 4/4.5 bc it repeated itself a bit and there were some stylistic stuff I couldn’t get behind BUT
I have never read anything on lesbian parenting or even motherhood generally that was so honest and well- conveyed. I felt connected to that baby so fucking much and the section on birth was genuinely harrowing - I winced and audibly went ‘AGH’ on the tube. this has a lot to say about something that is generally only discussed via tweet or YouTube video trying to pretend it’s perfect in order to avoid discrimination, and the awareness of this comes through perfectly. I was so so invested, I hope the family is well, and I’ll be thinking about this book for a long time
I have never read anything on lesbian parenting or even motherhood generally that was so honest and well- conveyed. I felt connected to that baby so fucking much and the section on birth was genuinely harrowing - I winced and audibly went ‘AGH’ on the tube. this has a lot to say about something that is generally only discussed via tweet or YouTube video trying to pretend it’s perfect in order to avoid discrimination, and the awareness of this comes through perfectly. I was so so invested, I hope the family is well, and I’ll be thinking about this book for a long time
August 1, 2023
'The Unfamiliar' is a completely unique memoir - truly like nothing I've ever read. This 'Queer Motherhood Memoir' opened my eyes to the complexities of pregnancy and motherhood for queer parents which is something I've never really thought about. Logan's descriptions of anxiety and mental health struggles are raw, I couldn't help but worry with her. The style of this book is wonderful, smart and fresh - written in the second person Logan brings her experience closer to the reader so that they can't help but vividly imagine themselves in her shoes.
A book which has irrevocably changed my perspective on pregnancy, motherhood and how queerness can impact these things.
5/5 stars
A book which has irrevocably changed my perspective on pregnancy, motherhood and how queerness can impact these things.
5/5 stars
January 25, 2024
“You find it incredible now that pregnancy, birth and parenthood are seen as natural, cosy - twee even. Cutesy. Safe and a little dull. But now you know what birth is. It's the inside of your body on the outside. It's the most violent body experience other than death. It's looking at death and not blinking.
Everyone who's ever given birth has done that. Made something from nothing. Seen death, and made life instead. No wonder that, throughout history, and still now, some men try to control it, deny it, force it. No wonder they fear it. You've done it, and you fear it.”
beautiful and honest reflections on queer motherhood, i couldn’t put it down!
Everyone who's ever given birth has done that. Made something from nothing. Seen death, and made life instead. No wonder that, throughout history, and still now, some men try to control it, deny it, force it. No wonder they fear it. You've done it, and you fear it.”
beautiful and honest reflections on queer motherhood, i couldn’t put it down!
September 16, 2023
I LOVED this book! It is touching, extremely raw, honest, funny, beautiful. Kirsty Logan writes about motherhood and pregnancy with such candour I’ve rarely seen anywhere — down to all the little details one may or may not want to know — and it’s so refreshing. This frankness extends to the emotions she experiences during the processes of expecting a child and learning to be a mother, and I’m so glad she was able to express the uglier thoughts, too. I’m so glad I read this book.
Whether you’re a mother or not, or queer or not, I would highly recommend this as a memoir.
Whether you’re a mother or not, or queer or not, I would highly recommend this as a memoir.
July 21, 2025
It's quite difficult to rate a memoir, especially this one in particular as the subject matter is so intensely personal. Kirsty Logan is a queer writer laying out the ugly truth about trying to start a family, right from conception to IVF to birth, and the struggles both physically and mentally it took to get to this point with her partner.
She is so unapologetically honest with her words and I appreciated that, as a man I will never know what it feels like to go through this journey but I really felt such empathy for her.
She is so unapologetically honest with her words and I appreciated that, as a man I will never know what it feels like to go through this journey but I really felt such empathy for her.
March 18, 2024
Parts of this felt a little longer than they needed to, but this is a very bold, passionate personal story and that came across so strongly. I'm not a regular memoir-reader and I don't have much interest in pregnancy or childbirth but Logans comments throughout the text about society's tendency to not listen too deeply to stories from/about pregnant people made me really grateful to have read this one.
August 24, 2023
Brutally honest, emotional and was sometimes difficult to read the more painful parts of her journey, but so very worth it. I had trouble putting this book down and so pleased I read it. Thank you Kirsty Logan for sharing your truth. It is beautifully written. I now look forward to exploring more of your work. Thank you also for inspiring me.
Phoenix
Phoenix
July 26, 2024
Really loved the honesty of this book. We read so many sanitised, clean recountings of pregnancy, birth and beyond, this book is refreshing in being unafraid to say it as it can be. It’s validating and reassuring to read someone’s experience that is relatable rather than aspirational. This book made me want to be mum friends with the author
December 1, 2024
Hilarious at times, deeply emotional at others, but overall a worthy read. The idea of the unfamiliar was deeply emphasised by the use of second-person pronouns, which did not catch me off guard as much as I thought it would - I actually had forgotten by the end of the book that not all books are like that. Made me laugh. Made me want to cry. A good read.
May 9, 2024
As a queer mother to be, this was such a refreshing and real read. I feel so immensely grateful to Kirsty Logan for sharing so much of her and her partner’s journey, her insecurities and thoughts, anxieties and joys. This is a triumph of a memoir
June 9, 2024
Outstanding.
Raw; emotional; and at times unsettling, this book opens the deep and never healing wound of becoming a mother. A beautiful book which I will be recommending to all my millennial mother friends. Thank you Kirsty x
Raw; emotional; and at times unsettling, this book opens the deep and never healing wound of becoming a mother. A beautiful book which I will be recommending to all my millennial mother friends. Thank you Kirsty x
September 24, 2024
This slim volume is a quick read. A lot of my lived experience isn’t like this at all, but it still resonated with me. And her description of labour pain is the closest I’ve ever seen to anything like what I felt, which is weirdly validating!
March 5, 2025
All creds to this author for telling her truth, but my rating is based on my personal experience of it, and maybe I'm just a sensitive child, but I found it so... Gross? I mean, pregnancy is gnarly too and I'm still curious about it, but I don't need this level of anxious detail.
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May 20, 2025“When you hold the baby, you feel everything, you feel love spill out of you, so much love you feel like you could choke on it, holding the baby tight and thinking, I love you I love you I love you I love you”
Pregnancy is so scary but this book made me so broody
Pregnancy is so scary but this book made me so broody
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