Romances & Practicalities: A Love Story (Maybe Yours!) in 250 Questions ―Spice Up Your Love Life and Build a Stronger Connection with the Ultimate Relationship Guide

by Lindsay Jill Roth

A few months into Lindsay Jill Roth’s whirlwind transatlantic courtship with a handsome Englishman she’d dubbed “the Brit,” he made an off-hand comment that hit her like a “But I don’t know you well enough yet.” Despite hours on FaceTime and a series of swoon-worthy dates in London and NYC, Roth reluctantly realized that he was they didn’t know each other very well. And their budding relationship, while certainly romantic, was hardly practical. Did they have a shared vision for the future? Did he want kids? In what country would they live?

In the age of increasingly impersonal dating—where “ghosting” is the norm and “situationships” abound—how do you actually get to know someone? How do you get off the hamster wheel of first date after first date and advance a relationship along the path to commitment? How do you know if the person to whom you’re committing is really (or really might be) “the one?”

Where’s the guide?

Enter Romances & Practicalities, a set of 250 research-backed questions spread across twelve separate categories—from money to children to chores to sex—designed to help you identify your wants, needs, and non-negotiables, assess compatibility with a potential or current partner, initiate tricky conversations with grace, and build a deeper, stronger relationship. The questions range from seemingly light and casual to intimate and serious,

How did your family members communicate, share, and argue growing up?How are we different? Do our differences complement each other or might they be a source of future conflict?How important to you is spending time alone?How do you show love to others?How important is your career in terms of your identity?How do you feel about debt? Mortgages?If we were stuck on that desert island together, what strengths and skills would you bring to the table to help us survive?Roth weaves the questions and her approach to them with her own charming love story, provocative interviews with real-life couples who’ve used the system, and practical guidance from a diverse range of clinical and popular experts including psychotherapist and bestselling author Lori Gottlieb, the “holistic psychologist” Dr. Nicole LePera, Dr. Mark Hyman, sex therapist Dr. Emily Morse, Suze Orman, Nate Berkus, Justin Baldoni, Barbara Corcoran and many more.

For anyone who’s ever wondered—How could we have never talked about this?!—Roth’s wise and witty narrative explores the reasons we don’t often equate romance with practicality, and arrives at a surprising healthy communication isn’t just vital, it’s sexy. 

Genres: Nonfiction, Romance, Self Help, Love, Relationships, Psychology

272 pages, Hardcover

Published January 28, 2025

About the author

Lindsay Jill Roth is an award-winning television and live-events producer who has created and developed a wide variety of programming globally, including original content for NBC, BET, ESPN, Food Network, Billboard, The Masters, The Grammys, The TONYs, and the US Open. She is the former producer of Emmy-nominated Larry King Now and the creator and executive producer of Haylie Duff’s Real Girl’s Kitchen. She is also the author of the novel What Pretty Girls Are Made Of. Lindsay lives in New York and London with her husband and two young sons.

Her next novel, Romances & Practicalities (HarperCollins) is coming out in February, 2025

Follow her on Instagram @LindsayJillRoth

Reviews

[Anna Christensen Spydell]

ARC for review; accessible and warm, avoids being preachy. Very user-friendly and, selfishly, validating where I was expecting judgment, which always helps. 😂 Wasn’t sure about this one before starting it but looking forward to writing it up.

[Cee]

Okay, this was actually fascinating. Each chapter goes into why each section of the questionnaire is important and insights other people have gained by asking or not asking these questions when they were in relationships.
I love how inclusive this is as well. Lots of different types of people and relationships are explored!

[Rylee]

Great book for if you're a women and want to hear someone yap for 6 hours.

Pretty much just talk to your partner more and if you're dating, ask them questions about things that really matter to you to see if you're compatible.

[Allison Grinberg-Funes]

This book is so fun! I ended up also buying the kindle version so I could more easily read it on my commute to/from work.

TL;DR: This dating book isn't like the others. You could literally bring it to a cocktail party. If you're a quick reader, read my long review. If you'd rather get on with a fun read, buy it now and thank me later.

Books about dating are as tired as everyone's thumbs are from swiping left and right on dating apps. What more and more people are coming to the realization of these days, is that intention is everything. ESPECIALLY when it comes to dating if you're at a point in your life when you're looking for a long term, serious partner. And I am. It just so happens that this book was perfect for me.

Many of us have heard of and read "The 36 Questions That Lead to Love" from the NY Times article in 2015. The questions are grouped and get progressively more serious as you go on. They do cover many important areas. But the reality is that people are complex. There are so many facets of our lives that matter to us and each person is so different. Everyone defines their dealbreakers differently. For example - pets. To some people, pets are table stakes in their lives. They will always have a pet and the pet is considered part of their family. For other people, they could care less about pets. But they're BIG on their household being a vegetarian household only (not me - sorry, can't resist a steak).

Lindsay Jill Roth's book presents a looooong list of questions, some fun and silly, others serious, and all that matter in one way or another, to someone. Right now I'm single and I don't have a partner to chat about these with YET but I hope one day I will. In the meantime, I really enjoyed this book. It was so easy and fun to read that I could've been having lemonade on a patio with girlfriends someplace talking about dating. And I could easily jump around depending on which topics I was most interested in. It helped that the author was willing to share her own personal story around getting to know her husband, because we get to see the questions and the exploration they incited play out in real time on the page.

Most importantly though, this book had me asking MYSELF questions I hadn't considered before. For example, if I get married one day, would I want my husband and myself to define a financial cap, where if we go over a certain dollar value, we need to consult the other before making a purchase? Or how do I feel about cosmetic procedures - for myself or a partner? If I get married, what kind of roles do I want my in-laws to play? Well, review reader...I DIDN'T KNOW. I still don't know 100%, but I'm thinking about it, which is what matters. I appreciate having this list of 250 questions because it's a good way for me to delve into my relationship with myself. That way, when it comes time for the stars to align and me to finally meet the right person, I'll be ready.

If you've gotten this far in my review, well, you're a champ. Here's what you need to know: This is an easy book to read, a fun story to watch unfold, and an invaluable resource when it comes to getting to know yourself, your partner, and what you both value.

[Debra]

Thank you @WilliamMorrowBooks for the #gifted book! My opinions are my own.

How do we really get to know someone? There seems to be a gap between meeting someone we are romantically interested in and really knowing them, and we don’t always seem to know how to bridge it. It’s hard enough to meet someone, but once you have physical Intimacy isn’t equal to being on the same page as they are and knowing their personality and character (though the physical part is fun too). How do we get to the heart of whether that person aligns with our principles, standards, values, and goals? Especially when we are taught to hide our true selves, and then end up falling for a façade.
Roth’s approach to this conundrum developed organically during her own romantic journey, which she further honed by sharing it with others she knows: a series of questions intended to get at the heart of what you may want to know about who someone else really is before you make a “forever” decision. It’s purpose is to foster open communication—not to get the “right” answer, but to open the right doors to learn about each other and more deeply engage with each other, especially if you’re starting from scratch. The bulk of the book shares examples of how Roth and her man, along with other couples, used these questions to engage with each other on both romantic and practical levels, and how it helped them inform important decisions about how to move forward. I wish I had had this book when I was dating and will absolutely recommend it to my friends as a useful and practical tool.

[Sydney Coffey]

I absolutely adore this book. It's such a wonderful way to get to important concepts in a way that avoids awkwardness and tension. Many of the questions in the questionnaire I either hadn't thought to ask or didn't want to, but Roth provided an easy way to glide into these subjects. It's super fun to discuss these topics. It's a great way to learn more about the person you're seeing. It's a wonderful way to evaluate compatibility early (or late!). I would definitely recommend every couple or potential couple to go through this questionnaire together.

I also really enjoyed the book-book part! It provided a lot of insights and topics to explore in the questions I wouldn't have thought about. This will be a book I reference again in the future, as I feel repeating the questionnaire can help evaluate if things have changed.

[Carly]

I bought this because I heard Lindsey on DHRU PRHIT’s (Sp?) podcast last year. As a single woman in my 40s still wanting to marry, I thought the book might give good tips for questions and thoughts when approaching romantic partnerships. I ended up starting the book then abandoning it in 2025 when I went through a huge Freida McFadden phase. 😂 I finally go around to finishing it. It was fine—I like the questions—but it felt like the author was trying too hard which I hate. A lot of her friends are celebs (I hate watched Meghan Markell’s Netflix holiday special, and Lindsey Jill Roth was in it—I guess maybe they went to Northwestern together?), and it felt like she pushed that and the book was kinda woke. It was just mid for me. Maybe I am judging her by association with Meghan, so take my review with a grain of salt!😊

[Catherine]

I fully admit, I wasn't sure what to think about this book at first. But now, having read it, I'm thrilled to have won a paperback advanced reader copy in a Goodreads giveaway! It helpfully posed important questions and did so in a way that didn't leave me feeling overwhelmed by all the things to think about going into a long-term partnership. Combined with the author's personal journey, the structure of the book made the content accessible and enjoyable. I'm absolutely going to be keeping this book for future reference and will be recommending my friends get a copy as well!

[Nicola Kraus]

I wish this book had existed when I was dating. I've been going through these questions with my husband of 18 years and there are so many topics we've still never explicitly discussed! I can't imagine how helpful this would have been when we first met. But even now we've had amazing conversations and it has brought us closer. Honestly I can't think of anyone who wouldn't benefit from this book.

[Daphne James]

I read this in one sitting on a long plane ride. What a gem of a book! It was informative and practical but also great storytelling. Many laugh out loud moments in addition to lots of a-ha moments and practical, head-nodding "yes, I need to think about that" moments. A warm, interesting tone that felt like I was talking to the sister I never had.

[Kayla Mazurek]

This book was phenomenal - I love reading about love stories and the perspective this book was written in blew me away. The questions that one would think to ask in a relationship are “easy” but then when you use the R&P questionnaire, it really makes you think in a different light.

Lindsay absolutely did a fantastic job with this!

[Billie Yankie]

This was a fun and interesting read - the questions are definitely something that can be both fun and informative and there's a lot of personal stories, both the author's and some collected from other people of different walks of life. And all of that is backed with research by actual specialists - therapists, couples' councilors, and even a sleep specialist.

[Reader]

I just finished reading Let Them, which set a high bar before reading Romances & Practicalities. It delivered; I was super into R&P and learned a lot! It’s a great story wrapped around a system that I am now using to better communicate with my partner. I can say without hesitation: read this book, it’s really great. 

[Marni Ellis]

This memoir/interview advice book on relationships was not what I expected. I thought it would be geared towards singles, but as a married woman, I learned a lot and devoured this book. It's fun, engaging, and thought-provoking! Highly recommended.

[Victoria]

This book really surprised me in all the best ways. It is simultaneously delightful and incredibly helpful! The personal anecdotes the author shares about her own courtship are so relatable (I laughed out loud at a few), and while my spouse and I are celebrating 15 years of marriage this year, we have learned new things about each other by discussing many of the questions! Absolutely loved it!

[Rachel]

I have been married for 14 years and I still found this book so helpful! I kept a running list of questions to discuss with my husband after reading. He has now recommended it to several people too!! A fun, but insightful book. Truly worth your while.

[Chloe Cooper]

I had the ARC and blew through it! Not only am I a total sucker for a good romance trope (The Brit 😍), but as someone in a new relationship, the questionnaire was clutch. It gave questions I never would have thought of on my own. I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone. 10/10.

[Gavin]

This is such a valuable book - I’m really impressed by the research and how the stories are woven together. My partner and I have started tackling the questions and have already had more meaningful discussions than we’ve had in a while. Highly recommend!

[Katie]

Fun, easy to read. Sensible. No duh, the foundation of a good relationship is open communication, but I’m a real sucker for a list of discussion questions. Can’t wait to make David answer them with me!!

[Reader]

This book is a uniquely fun guide and I felt like my hand was being held by the author while reading it. I really enjoyed hearing all of the personal stories, and now my husband and I have started doing a few questions each night at dinner. Don’t think - just buy and read it - and thank me later!

[MB]

I’m providing my personal opinion on this ARC received through a Goodreads giveaway. The book contained a good set of questions to be used throughout anyone’s relationship. A great form of communication with others. To better understand others as well as ourselves.

[Reader]

Great read!!!!

[Candy]

Roth covers all the hot buttons in her 250 questions. Guaranteed to get couples talking...

[Roxanne]

A must read for couples.

I won a copy from Goodreads.

[Sammy]

3.75 stars

[Mary Tharp]

Gave this book to my daughter and she loved it. Lots of good information.

[Andrew Roth]

Read.

[Faith Einhorn]

Fabulous new read by Roth. Everyone in a relationship needs to read this. This is the book we have always needed. Highly recommended. Wonderfully written and engaging.

[A. Drew]

Super fun and approachable, I loved this book. A great mix of anecdotal tidbits and thought-provoking questions, and perfect timing for Valentine's Day.

[Lo]

Read it in one weekend and just loved it! Especially as a newlywed. Lindsay makes the book so warm and approachable, I will definitely be gifting to girlfriends just in time for Valentine’s Day ❤️