✰ 2.5 stars ✰
“No one is ever really ready for the first day,” she said.
“So the best you can do is show up and hang on.”
When I was younger, The Faculty Lounge was a great source of mystery and awe. I remember passing it in-between classes or during lunch breaks, and trying to sneak a peek inside at the comfy sofas and refrigerator - a place to unwind, but also to enter, a prestige and privilege only granted to a select few students. Or even after a sweaty P.E. class and pausing in front of its door to catch a whiff of the cool breeze that emanated from the air conditioner that was always on before one of the teachers inside made an amicable tut tut before gently closing the door in my face. 😅
It is though more than just that. While it is a place of relaxation, it's also a place to vent, to reflect, to perhaps take a breather during the day of tackling pimply, sweaty, swearing kids, and wonder if the job and effort worth the troubles - the neverending stress that does not end when you get home. To tackle personal woes and family issues that eventually slip into one's career.
In a way, Jennifer Matthieu's adult debut does exactly that; while not centered solely in the lounge, itself, she presents to the readers an introspective glimpse into a multi-faceted and multi-layered cast, each who inadvertently are affected by the sudden and untimely death of recently retired eighty-two-year-old Mr.Lehrer, one of Baldwin's estimable English teachers, who had just returned to his alma mater as a fill-in substitute teacher. 🧑🏻🏫 The dedication truly speaks for itself, as the narrative, to me, was mainly 'for anyone who has ever worked in a school.' Over a span of a year, the author gives us various accounts into a diverse range of characters - their trials and their triumphs - their defeats and their gains. I do believe that this novel will resonate with those who have ever had experience in working in a school - be it a teacher or an administrator, or even in the custodial staff. I do not deny that many were nodding in agreement to all the little inside jokes and similarities they've felt in their own careers. 📚🏫
“Did he still genuinely love it, or did he only love the memory of it? It was an unanswerable question.”
After I got over my initial irritation over how misleading the title actually is - I mean, aside from the death taking place in the faculty lounge - rarely did the characters return to it - I understood what the narrative aimed to achieve. 'For some of us, it is a vocation, not just a job. It’s what I have always referred to as good work.' It draws on different aspects and prospects of teaching - the good and bad and everything in between, and how we all approach it differently. How their careers have granted them a happy life, some are still searching for it. 😥 The physical and emotional toll it takes on the soul and body as it copes with their own personal losses, while also managing to stay afloat. Thoughts are set adrift as time spent in their dedication to profession also offers us a look into how times have changed. Be it the clash of different opinions between parents and faculty, inclusion of various activities with the advent of pandemic, what still constitutes as permissible reading and what is not- these wayward meandering thoughts searched for a way to find common ground for me to see what the purpose was behind touching upon each matter.
It also showed the solidarity that existed between them; an understanding only known to them of what they do matters and only they know how hard they fight every day to get their point heard. The merits of teaching and the simple joys over a hard-earned and well-served commitment. The challenges of being entrusted to care for so many persons' children - it is a momentous task, and one they do not take lightly. 'You are a teacher. You know that part of being a teacher is to look out for your students.' 🥺 One that they do bring much light into their lives with inside humor and supportive shoulder - be each other's confidant and earn each other's trust and respect by bonding over their shared misfortunes or misadventures. Or even their victories and their success - it is a rewarding feeling of gratification that comes from being one. 🙏🏻
I know the message is a well-intended one; sadly the execution didn't quite reach me. It's not that just because I am not a teacher, I don't know how it feels to experience the highs and lows of the job. It just lacked cohesion; I was not able to empathize with each characters' distinctive struggles and challenges, nor I was also not able to care about their individual successes, either. Not all of the perspectives felt relevant, in my opinion, even if I do agree that the purpose of their inclusion was to show that not everyone was as deeply affected or concerned by Mr. Lehrer's death. That's life, after all. People live and people die - people come and people go. 😔
“But it wasn’t just pride, he realized. It was something else. A feeling of purpose and of belonging. A sense of committing to a cause much bigger than he.”
What matters, after all, is the mark that we leave on society? What will we be remembered by? Will our contribution be measured as one that is worth the effort we put into it? That is really the overall feeling that I felt Mr.Lehrer's taught me - as well as those whose lives he was able to reach. And perhaps those who were able to know and interact with him on a more intimate and personal level - those vignettes and anecdotes made more of an impact on me. ❤️🩹
I think it would have hit differently for me if I could have related to it more or that I could have learned something I did not know already. 😟 It gave me a look into their lives, but it was not something that I was not already aware of - having seen my own teachers work diligently, read/seen media that covers these aspects, as well. I know that teachers are underpaid; I know how stressful their jobs are. I know that they are actual human beings, because I have never discredited or disrespected the gift they've given me. It just felt like it was trying to hard to educate and inform me of the ways of the school system, rather than make me feel the emotions.
I did not feel that it was character-driven, at all; considering the multiple perspectives, none of their stories really related to one another, save for the fact that somehow, they were affected by Mr.Lehrer's sudden and untimely demise. I did not like the forced inclusion of covering such a broad range of backgrounds - the need to highlight the different ways in the histories of how one becomes a part of the school workforce. 😮💨 Yes, everyone's story is different - but it felt too much like it was making a point, rather than connecting the story together. It felt like the author was trying to cover all bases to show those who may be interested in pursuing such a path - that they should be aware of what a daunting challenge it is - '...about guiding these kids to think for themselves and understand how arguments are made.' All the pressures and expectations that come with it, as well as the quiet triumph of success and enjoyment of being of some worth to those who you've been provided the opportunity to import wisdom on. I felt very disappointed and had rather irritated feelings about it, one which became even more apparent when I think about one particular part of the story. 😕
“What happened to institutions when they were no longer needed? What happened to legends when they retired?”
One of the key conflicts is centered on Principal Kendricks, who is under heavy fire from parents and the administration in how he handled the final wishes of Mr.Lehrer's resting place. What bothered me was how all was settled; it felt unjust and rather skillfully convenient to have extreme scrutiny from the administration in how he treated the final resting wishes of Mr.Lehrer come from a parent who is then one who is faced with a personal problem of her own, one which another faculty member assists her with. I know that the author intended to show how misguided the parent was about her views on the way the high school handles things, I get that. I just did not like how it had to be this particular parent - even if it does focus on a concern that most schools sadly are familiar with - it just felt wrong at how it was used. 😕 I was also surprised that there was no mention of grief counseling for students who may have been affected by Mr.Lehrer's death - faculty, yes, but it was not addressed, which I thought odd; but maybe that is the school system. 🤷🏻♀️
All in all, it was not quite an enjoyable read for me. I can see the good parts, I can; but I feel that this really was only written with an intended audience in mind, which then prevents others from connecting or even empathizing with it. For a student, it's merely to feel sympathy for their educators to see commitment and sacrifice, and for a teacher - well, for them to know that they're not alone in thinking or feeling this way.
But, as personal and relatable as it will be for those who recognize a bit of themselves in each of these very various and diverse characters - in order to cover each broad aspect - then, what of those who are simply readers? What of those who are already aware of how important and tantamount teachers' jobs are and who have never ever thought that they were not also normal human beings? Is the effort really worth the hassle? What did I take away from this learning experience of getting an introspective look into the faculty world of the largest high school in Texas, Baldwin High? So much of the time spent reading was noting down my irritated thoughts, that it was not enough to convince me that I did enjoy reading it. Which is a shame, because I did have high hopes for it, having read another work by this author earlier this year. 😞