Rainbow Girl: A Memoir of Autism and Anorexia

by Livia Sara

Autism and Anorexia — a “Perfect” Combo

At just 15 years of age, Livia was tossed out of the Dutch eating disorder treatment system with the message: "You’re just going to have to accept the fact that you’re never going to get better."

Growing up unknowingly autistic, Livia spent the majority of her young life seeking worth and validation in external achievements. She excelled in her honors classes, competitive sports, and eventually, an eating disorder.

Until the control she so desperately sought nearly killed her, Livia made the hardest decision anyone with an eating disorder can make: to trust and surrender to the recovery process.

In this gripping and vulnerable memoir, Livia answers the question: What does it take to recover from an eating disorder as an autistic person?

In this book, you will learn:

- How autistic traits can manifest as eating disorder behaviors
- The harmful nature of FBT for autistic people with eating disorders
- The role of demand avoidance (PDA) in autism and eating disorders
- Insights to making eating disorder treatment neurodiversity-affirming
- How to cope with weight gain as an autistic person in ED recovery
- How to free yourself from exercise addiction in ED recovery
- The key to discovering your true self after an eating disorder

BONUS! The book contains access to my guide 5 "ED behaviors" that are ACTUALLY Autistic Traits in which you'll learn how to use five common autistic traits to your advantage in ED recovery.

To learn how to free yourself or an autistic loved one from an eating disorder, add Rainbow Girl to your cart today!

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction, Memoir

340 pages, Paperback

Published May 1, 2024

About the author

Livia is an autism advocate and eating disorder survivor that now helps others overcome their own mental barriers through her courses, coaching programs, and books. She is the author of the blog livlabelfree.com and the host of the Liv Label Free Podcast. Livia is a lifelong learner that loves listening to audiobooks, going on walks, and reading the latest science on all things neurodiversity and eating disorders!

Reviews

[Louise Chandler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rainbow girl is an incredibly gripping read that exceptionally captures the autistic experience of eating disorders, which is so rarely discussed. While reading, it felt like I was simultaneously walking with Livia through her darkest and most vulnerable times but also that through her experiences, she was guiding me, sharing the light, perseverance, hope and joy. So much of Rainbow girl resonates with my own story and experiences as a neurodivergent individual. Livia’s book highlights an empowering and authentic message that I will forever carry with me.

[Marleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

In her book Rainbow Girl, Liv clearly describes her struggle with her eating disorder and autism and how those are intertwined. Her writing style makes you feel like you are present in that moment, making you feel and understand her struggle and fight.

Not only can you feel her pain, but also her strength and perseverance. It really is a story that provides hope to those still suffering. So if you or someone you know relates to this story, please read this book!

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me feel so many emotions. It resonated with me in such a way that I felt like I was the main character that I was going through and I think he was. I had some experiences to her, and it seemed like she was almost writing my life in her backin the book, I did not wear it with but some things I do in those things I did are very powerful. I’ve been anyone who wants to read the books. It is a wonderful book and I think there’s something in there that will designate with you.

[Hannah Roche · Rating 5 out of 5]

Goal: live a recovered life like she does

[Lucie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Obviously, it's a memoir but it felt more like reading a novel. It's profound, vulnerable, courageous, wise and even funny at times. The author is not only a gifted writer but also wise beyond her years.

[Louise Alexandra Koopman · Rating 5 out of 5]

As the author’s mother, I may be biased, but is with GREAT pride and humility that I write this review for "Rainbow Girl", an incredibly important resource and must-read for anyone seeking true understanding and improved recovery prospects of eating disorders.

By sharing her lived experience, Livia offers a fresh perspective and challenges established treatments. Livia's memoir reads like a novel, as she describes the impact an eating disorder can have on a family (and vice versa) as it did in ours. It is quite detailed and revealing, and I can only look back with gratitude on having learned all that Livia enabled me to see. Livia's candid, effective and even humorous storytelling draws you in, while providing deep insights into the profound link between neurodiversity and eating disorders. Her personal journey of recovery is both inspiring and enlightening.

I'm sure this book will help parents (and siblings) struggle less than we all did, to better support their loved one's recovery and gain confidence in recognising where established treatments fail and even exacerbate the illness. So they can make informed choices and change course, to keep their loved one closeby...

My wonderful daughter turned her (and our) MESS into a MESSage and she has made it her mission to help individuals and their caregivers to navigate and understand the profound link between neurodiversity and eating disorders. I'm a proud and grateful mother.

[K Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook review: As someone currently wrestling with the situation that Livia has successfully liberated herself from – a process that Livia shares in generous detail in this book – this was an extremely validating and empowering listen. I related to so much so strongly, from Livia's self-imposed demand for perfection, all the way through to using food and eating-related numbers for constructive (as opposed to destructive) ends. The recognition of so many aspects of Livia’s story within my own life meant that the wisdom gained and lessons learnt during her recovery - which Livia shares in the later chapters - have also had a significant impact on me, something I have not experienced when reading other memoirs. Consequently, the chapters from '73: Herman Jordan' onward have proved particularly valuable and have been listened to multiple times. If you too would like to gain insight into choosing to let go of the negative power things have over you, surrendering to and accepting the recovery process (rather than resisting it), facing the frightening unknown in the spirit of ‘but what if everything gets better (not worse)?’, and the numerous successive stages of eating disorder recovery among others, I cannot recommend this book more highly. Finally, as someone who is very fussy when it comes to narration, this audiobook is also beautifully read and at a perfect pace.

[Suanne D · Rating 5 out of 5]

I initially started following Liv on Instagram because of her recipe content. I guess that may seem odd, since this book is about her life recovering from an eating disorder, and subsequently learning that she was autistic.
This young woman though, has so much insight….not only for her own recovery, but what it takes to help others recover.
Having had my own issues with food and dieting for most of my adult life, starting in my late teens, I understood, and could feel her pain, as she navigated the different doctors, hospitals and even how her family tried to cope.
I’ve thought from the beginning, that this young woman is way beyond her years. She is intuitive, open to learning more about her situation, and eager to help others.
This book is an amazing read….one where you will be cheering for her from the sidelines all the way through.
Also looking forward to any and all other books she may write.
Suanne

[Susan Greenberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clearly this topic and population is completely misunderstood and I appreciate the eye opening education I received reading Rainbow Girl as the author took me on her very private journey of hard hitting reality.

Well written and "easy" to read, this dark subject matter was digestible due to the open and honest descriptive timeline. Her raw and vulnerable experience really broke down the process of the illness, the pain it brought to both herself, her nuclear family, and everyone she had to be in contact with. This book helped me grasp all the myriad levels of understanding in this painful world, the anguish of lessons learned along the way, the neverending growth from each hard lesson, and the joy it brought living through the author's amazing successes!
For those living with these struggles or know someone who is and want to gain a better understanding, this book is definitely a Good Read!

[Maaike Blom · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Rainbow Girl neemt Livia je mee in haar levensverhaal. Livia schrijft op een unieke en eigenzinnige wijze. Het is puur, rauw, kwetsbaar en intens. Tegelijk is het mooi, speels en grappig. In dit boek deelt Livia haar ervaringen en belevingen, zonder daarin de lezer op wat voor manier dan ook te beoordelen of te voorzien "de enige juiste oplossing." Soms merk ik zelf dat alle goed bedoelde zelf hulpboeken, op een bepaalde manier druk of schuldgevoel kunnen geven. Maar dit verhaal blijft daar echt van weg. Het is onbeschrijfelijk hoe dankbaar ik ben dat Livia de moed heeft gevonden om zo kwetsbaar en open te zijn over alles wat zij heeft meegemaakt. Als je nieuwsgierig bent naar hoe het voor iemand kan zijn om een eetstoornis te hebben (en autistisch te zijn), dan is dit oprechte, ongefilterde verhaal van Livia echt een aanrader. Ik vond het echt een cadeautje om zo'n complete inkijk te krijgen in haar verhaal!

[Brianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Livia is such a beautiful light to the neurodivergent community. She also writes in a way that touched my soul in a profoundly. I was an editor for her book “Rainbow Girl.” Let’s just say that I didn’t get much editing done, because it was through the book that I discovered that I am autistic as well. While reading her book, I saw myself clearly for the first time. I realized that I wasn’t a problem to be fixed and the numerous psychiatric diagnoses I had were wrong. I just had a unique brain.
I’ve been working with Livia as a business coach. I also want to help neurodivergent individuals recover from eating disorders. She makes beautiful websites among many other things. Livia is a courageous coach and a survivor. I’ll always carry her light with me.
Livia, thank you for helping me realize that I am good enough already. It is an honor to know you.

[Lexie Kattelman · Rating 2 out of 5]

As someone who has personally recovered from an eating disorder and works as a therapist who specializes in eating disorder treatment, I was hoping this book would have offered ideas about how to help clients who have both autism and anorexia. The book was a little lengthier than I would have liked and while Livia’s story is interesting, it seemed unnecessarily long. Although I believe lived experience is important in helping others recover, it alone is not enough to consider yourself a professional or qualified to treat disordered eating. I also felt towards the end of the book that there were too many sales pitches and testimonials for her coaching, Instagram, and courses. If you’re looking for strictly a memoir of her story, then pick up this book! If you’re looking for more self-help, I would recommend going a different route.

[Alana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the first book I read of its kind and while I didn’t resonate with all of Livia’s experience because of course every individual’s experience having Anorexia Nervosa is unique to them, as a recently diagnosed neurodivergent individual, I found myself relating to many of her experiences and thoughts. I still have yet to discern what is autism and what is my eating disorder but books like hers help me better understand the way my brain works and helps me feel less alone. Highly recommend to anyone who suffers from an eating disorder, has a family , friend of someone with an eating disorder or is an educator . Its helpful to see how a different brain isn’t a defect or need to be pathologised. I have more respect for Livia after reading her memoir and am in awe of her resilience . It’s truly remarkable

[Nelke · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I found this book, I was very enthousiastic. I found it trough an interview Livia did with proud2bme, a Dutch organisation that aids in Ed recovery. I liked how honest Livia was with her experiences and how the negative sides of an eating disorder were openly spoken about.
However, the end of the book became to much of a sales pitch. I am a psychologist, also autistic and also in recovery of an ed. And while I am not against online communities around ed or autism in any way (I think they can be extremely helpful), I must admit I do not feel completely comfortable about someone treating other people without the proper credentials. I think people like Livia are very important in our field, but I do think it’s important to work in an environment where there are other professionals around. We all have blind spots.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listen to Livia’s podcast and similarly enjoyed listening to her tell her own story from the beginning. I particularly appreciated her inclusion of a parent’s and sibling’s perspective of their family member during various stages of disorder and recovery.

The way Livia narrates her experience of neurodiverse traits manifesting through eating disorder behaviors helped me see a missing piece blocking my own recovery.

I am a late-diagnosed, high-masking autistic person who grew up as a girl in the 90s. I’ve read a number of other memoirs of ED over the years and failed to connect fully with the drive to be thin as the overwhelming motivation. In fact, I started the admissions process for my own treatment while reading this book. Thank you for sharing your story and giving me the opportunity to see myself reflected in it.

[Amy Richards · Rating 5 out of 5]

Told with beautifully autistic straightforwardness and refreshing honesty and openness, Livia's memoir tells the story of how she was finally able to break free and recover from her eating disorder, after years of struggle as an undiagnosed autistic girl whose 'behaviours' were continually misunderstood and misinterpreted by those around her, including medical professionals.

As well as being a wonderfully readable (I devoured it in one sitting!), enjoyable and interesting addition to the autistic memoir genre, Livia's book is sure to be a brilliantly helpful resource for anyone wanting to better understand how disordered eating and autism can interplay, from the hugely valuable perspective of lived experience.

[Marije Vs · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's an amazing book. It is nicely written and you can read fast through it. Livia writes honest, open, and her own experiences and story. She tells the hard and honest truth about everything, even if it is hard. I still can remember clearly some parts of the book. It is reconizeble in your own way. I think it should be read by the health care, it can help them understand what autism and an eating disorder at the same time can do, and that 'regular treatment ' isn't always the solution for everyone. And Livia's recovery is an example you CAN recover! Even though professionals tell you you won't. You can't stop reading once you start. A must read. For parents , professionals, friends, just everyone who loves to read.

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rainbow Girl is an autobiography by Livia Sara documenting her journey through an eating disorder, recovery, and eventual autism diagnosis. Livia’s writing is so raw and genuine I couldn’t help but see myself in her story. Once I started reading I couldn’t put it down; I finished it in less than 24 hours. Livia’s story reveals the most vulnerable moments of a person engulfed in an eating disorder and then shines through with a powerful message of hope. A message that anyone can recover from an eating disorder- no matter what they have been through or have been told by health professionals. Livia’s book is the first place I have truly felt seen and understood. I cannot recommend it more.

[Jason Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rainbow Girl is more than a book. It is a moving experience thanks to Livia’s embrace of vulnerability and relatable approach to storytelling. She shares her journey in a profound manner that captivates the audience while vividly illustrating the deepest valleys of an eating disorder and the highest summits of recovery. I appreciate Livia’s direct approach to topics that are often marginalized in society and within the mental health community. She never shies away from sharing her true, authentic self, leaving the reader cheering for her throughout. Rainbow Girl is a life-changing resource for many and a narrative changing piece of art for us all.

[Mireille Wathes · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a world that’s only scratching the surface of the autistic experience with anorexia, Livia paints a candid picture of how she went against all odds to overcome her eating disorder and go from strength to strength.

A must read for anyone in this situation, or helping someone in this situation - as is all her other online content. As a mother to a recently diagnosed autistic teenager with anorexia this book gives me so much hope.

To any medical professionals out there: please read this to gain immensely valuable insight into this complex interchange between these two conditions so better help can be provided in future.

[Jemma Richards · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rainbow Girl is one of those memoirs where the author’s voice bounces off the page and fills your heart with inspiration.

It’s a grounded, authentic and funny read – despite the author’s challenging story to recover from her eating disorders and discover her true nature - where she embraces her autism in all its glory and begins to thrive.

This book is invaluable for parents, professionals and young people who are dealing with such issues - or anyone dealing with similar matters.

We all know what lies at the end of the rainbow but Rainbow Girl shows us that the really good stuff happens along the way.

I loved it!

[Lex · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not put this book down! This is such an important story that everyone should read. It shows the truth of how autistic people can be treated poorly within the medical system when trying to access help in eating disorder recovery. While reading Rainbow Girl, I laughed, I cried, and I got angry as it was so relatable to some of my own experiences. Livia’s story is truly inspiring, so much so that I couldn’t stop thinking about her book for days! I highly recommend everyone read Rainbow Girl by Livia Sara.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been inspired by Livia since the moment I met her, and this book has just expanded that inspiration. Livia is such an articulate writer, and shares her experience in a way that is digestible, insightful, and humorous in a way that makes you realise you are not alone, and that all those feelings you’ve had for years finally make sense. Thank you so much for putting this together Livia, and helping me realise I’m not “weird," but instead have quirks that are unique to me, that I don’t need a cure, and that I am okay!

- Hannah Hickinbotham, host of The Full of Beans Podcast

[Eli Mei · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never managed to read a book so much, completely immersed in it and in one sitting. It is a beautiful, honest and inspiring book and shared so much of my experience. I felt comforted and welcomed into Liv's world, and connected with her on a deeper level, reading her story left me feeling no judgement thanks to her honest empathetic memoir. I have never felt so connected and not alone than I have today reading this book. Thank you so much to Liv for writing and creating my new favourite book. It was so well written, amazing, and honest and I have never felt so seen and understood.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an absolute must-read for any autistic individual struggling with an eating disorder, as well as for caregivers and others close to them. Additionally, those deemed to have "treatment-resistant" anorexia should also read this book, as it may help them realize they are autistic. I wish I had read this book decades ago, as no other books on eating disorders ever resonated with me. There were multiple points in the book where I felt as though I was hearing my own story. I truly believe that if I had read this book earlier, I might not have suffered for so long.

[Maia Maria]

As a fellow autistic girl who developed an eating disorder, I found this memoir so relatable and I've never felt as seen or heard. Like many other neurodivergents, I have a short attention span and this book has short chapters which help with that! This book is incredibly interesting, whether you're autistic or not or have an eating disorder or not - it's definitely worth a read and is filled with things to learn.

[Allison Sigmon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I *adored* this book.
The entire time I was listening to it, I kept dropping my jaw and pausing to think about it or to say "What??? Me too!!" I have never in my life felt as seen in my eating disorder experiences as I did while reading this book. It's not too heavy, and not too light, it's digestible and thoughtful, and it's accessible without being overly simplistic.
I've already started my second go-through.

[Manuela]

I picked up the book from the shelf because I love rainbows, brought it home as one of my special interests is psychology, read it in one day because of hyperfocus, had so many a-ha moments throughout that I am now questioning all my yoyoing food habits, quirky intolerances, and pervasive gastro issues. AND I will challenge my therapist's methods next session.
Thank you, Liv! I know how much you love community reviews and the certain knowledge of helping others.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Livia's memoir paints a raw and vulnerable picture of what growing up with anorexia and undiagnosed autism is truly like. The chapters are short and concise, and Liv's way of writing is super engaging. I couldn't put the book down! I would thoroughly recommend this to anyone who has gone through, or is going through, similar experiences as well as family members and loved ones of someone with an eating disorder and neurodivergent uniqueness ✨

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be recommended reading for anyone with anorexia and their loved ones. Livia has been through it ALL and shares even the darkest moments with her characteristic bright voice. This book instills hope that anyone, whether they be neurodivergent or have an eating disorder, can find health and happiness. Here's to living label free!