Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves

by Alison Wood Brooks

A groundbreaking book that reveals the hidden architecture of our conversations and how even small improvements can have a profound impact on our relationships in work and life—from a celebrated Harvard Business School professor and leading expert on the psychology of conversation.

We know we struggle with difficult conversations, but we’re often not very good at the easy ones, either. Though we do it all the time, Harvard professor Alison Wood Brooks argues that conversation is one of the most complex, demanding, and delicate of all human tasks, rife with the possibility of misinterpreting and misunderstanding. And yet conversations can also be a source of great joy, each one offering an opportunity to express who we are and learn who others are—to feel connected, loved, and alive.

In Talk, Brooks shows why conversing a little more effectively can make a big difference in the quality of our close personal relationships as well as our professional success. Drawing on the new science of conversation, Brooks distills lessons that show how we can better understand, learn from, and delight each other. The key is her TALK

T Choose topics and manage them well
A Ask more questions
L Use humor to keep conversations fizzy
K Prioritize their partners conversational needs

Through experiments ranging across the conversational spectrum—from speed daters who ask too few questions (or too many), to future business leaders averse to topic forethought, to traffic stops that reveal the essence of kind language—Brooks takes us inside the world of conversation, giving us the confidence and the advice to approach any interaction with more creativity and compassion.

Addressing our face-to-face conversations as well as those we have by phone, email, text, and social media, Talk is a thoughtful guide for anyone seeking to better establish and sustain their relationships. From managing our emotions and sparking creativity to navigating conflict and being more inclusive, the right conversation skills just might be the key to leading a more purposeful life.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Communication, Audiobook, Relationships, Science

320 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 21, 2025

About the author

Alison Wood Brooks is the O’Brien Associate Professor of Business Administration and Hellman Faculty Fellow at the Harvard Business School. She studies the behavioral science of conversation, teaches an award-winning course in the MBA curriculum called TALK, and chairs a program for executives called Communicating for Impact. She was named a Best 40 Under 40 Business School Professor by Poets & Quants.

Reviews

[anna ✩ · Rating 4 out of 5]

one of those books where I feel like I already intuitively knew most of it, but having it spelled out in plain language is helpful!

[CatReader · Rating 3 out of 5]

Alison Wood Brooks is an associate professor at Harvard Business School and researches and teaches on the topic of effective communication. In her 2025 book Talk, she incorporates research findings (her own and that of others) as well as lessons she's learned from teaching a business school class on communicating well into book form for a general audience.

As someone who reads a lot in this genre, I will say there were a few unique elements of Talk, such as:
- the focus on pre-planning conversation topics, either in general or for specific conversations (she mentioned many people find this idea awkward at first, but effective in practice)
- the insights that can be gleaned from recording (audio +/- video) conversations (with permission) and analyzing them afterwards (something she's done in her research as well as a project she assigns to her business school students) -- an interesting insight Brooks shared here is that she is an identical twin and has had many moments of insight about her own communication style by watching her twin sister interact with others
- the suggestion to join groups of two chatting at parties rather than to remain on your own or hope to get approached by another solo partygoer (I still think this is generally gauche, as it happens to me a lot in social settings when chatting with someone one-on-one and very much annoys me, though my conversation partners are usually fine with it -- maybe that belies a lack of engaging conversation skills on my part)

Much of the other writing in this book is generally common sense (i.e., don't make the conversation entirely about you, ask questions to show interest and curiosity, read your partner's body language to sense when they've lost interest in a topic). The focus of this book also jumps around quite a bit -- some parts center on how to be engaging at small talk and casual conversation, while other parts suggest ways of building strong and deep social connections -- and I did not find the TALK mnemonic particularly useful (it felt very shoehorned and unnatural).

Overall, a decent debut in a very oversaturated field; I'd recommend it for folks looking for how to be more engaging conversationalists in low-stakes settings, but for readers looking for advice on how to have meaningful and relationship-deepening conversations, I'd recommend fellow business school professors David Bradford and Carole Robin's recent book Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues (see my review here).

My statistics:
Book 131 for 2025
Book 2057 cumulatively

[Alisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating look at the nuances of conversation, the hidden dynamics at play in a duo or a group, and the ways to improve any conversational experience. The book is divided into four main factors: Topics, Asking, Levity, and Kindness (yes, TALK). If you've ever floundered or felt dissatisfied with a conversation's vibe, this book will probably help you to understand why, and even give you some tools to address it, even in small ways. It's realistic and doesn't over-promise, which makes it feel accessible and useful for practically anyone.

Thanks to Crown Publishing and Netgalley for this digital review copy!

[Glen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book in a goodreads drawing.

This is a book that shows you how to to have better conversations in your life. While a lot of the things don't seem to be easy, some are. I think starting will help the most. I got a lot out of this book, at least.

[Sam Wescott · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I was in college, I took a course specifically about English grammar and parts of speech. I’m a native speaker and have always had strong language skills, but it was really fascinating to see things I felt were purely instinctual being sorted, categorized, and laid out into neatly labeled rules. Reading this book really reminded me of that experience.

I’m a consummate and unapologetic chatterbox, so making conversation has always been instinctual (especially when I got old enough to develop self awareness around turn taking and active listening), so while at times some of the points felt a little obvious, on the whole it was just neat to see things that feel natural laid out explicitly and kindly. The author has a very friendly writing style and the research and study results were fascinating.

Personally, I found the group conversation section to be the most interesting and validating. The one type of conversation that I do struggle with is being in a group where the preferred conversation topics and general friendship closeness leave me as a bit of an outsider (my spouse is in a band and it’s just not possible to be as close as everyone else in a group when they live together during tour and you don’t know much about music lmao). Seeing the struggles that I have laid out as a perfectly logical result of the group dynamic didn’t make the problem go away, but it did make me feel a little less self-conscious and I think I will be able to approach those situations with a little bit more confidence and acceptance, especially when I take the time to note how much those relationships have improved naturally over the years as I form my own individual friendships with the members of that group.

A few minor dings did pull me out of the book a couple times. Namely, there’s a very sort of corporate/ self-help styling to the book that was mild enough to not completely poison the waters here, but you can tell that the author spends a lot of time with the sort of business boy crowd and does company workshops. Personally, I found the student sections much more appealing and, luckily, that is the majority of the examples used.

Despite this, there were times when I desperately wanted caveats about workplace appropriate topics that never appeared. She has a whole section detailing how data shows that sensitive questions are often received better than the question-asker assumes, but no follow-up about how a research study doesn’t duplicate the power dynamics in a work relationship. I thought it was irresponsible not to include at least one sentence about how it’s still inappropriate for a boss to ask their subordinate about their love life, for example.

I did also notice that the author didn’t really reckon with how participants knowing they were being recorded, probably affected the way their conversations went? There are examples of non-consensual conversation recording in the book (which is a whole other ethical thing I had to chew on a little bit), But the research heavily relies on recorded conversations, and I thought it was weird that the author never pointed out that knowing you are being recorded could have a pretty strong effect on how people talk to each other.

Other than that, I did really like this book! Stylistically, it was a bit weird for me at times. For example, I find end of chapter summaries to be a little bit condescending, even though I know there is research indicating that they’re helpful for content retention. This is a personal pride issue and I need to get over it, but it’s true. And some of the questions in the workbook portion were just bizarre and off-putting. But for what it is, I think this book was pretty neat! I would be very interested to hear reviews from people who have social anxiety, or perhaps late diagnosed autism, to find out if this book is helpful for people who don’t find conversation as instinctive as I do.

And honestly, I do hope the self-help crowd gets their hands on this. That one conversation in the speed dating section about one-word answers could revolutionize modern dating. Godspeed, little book.

[Conner Ching · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really enjoyed the first few chapters. Thought the second half reached a bit and was a little cheesy, but I appreciated the optimism 🌟

[Corey Friedrich · Rating 4 out of 5]

Highly recommend! Pretty useful no matter who you are. This is also a pretty upbeat and positive book, one of those few modern nonfiction books that makes you feel hopeful about the world. Very close to 5 stars.

[Milla Jimenez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed it! This book is a great example of a book that is grounded in scientific research but is very easy to read and practical.

[Jake Hertz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yeah, I read a book about having conversations. Want to fight about it?

[Ariel Davis · Rating 2 out of 5]

good content but difficult to get through

[Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Superb. Why is this book not getting more hype? It would be an excellent companion to Supercommunicators. Really excellent tips in here. I especially liked her idea to write down 5 conversation topics for any event/meeting you’re going to. You don’t have to use any of them, but won’t it be nice to know you have them…

[Olivia Swindler · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book did a great job of synthesizing what makes a good conversation and how to be a better conversationalist. I loved the way Brooks wove research in with real life situations.

[Kevin Stecyk · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured “Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves.” Because the book was written by Alison Wood Brooks, a Harvard Business School professor, I was especially interested. Books about communication that are written by accomplished journalists or academics interest me because they always provide something interesting and insightful.

Although there a lot of learnings throughout the book, one item that caught my attention, because it surprised me, is that we should plan topics for our conversations. I was always under the impression that good conversationalists are able to flow with the movement of the conversation and, through good social skills, steer the conversation to a desired direction. That is wrong.

At the end of each chapter, Brooks summarizes her key themes in a few bullet points. I wish all authors provided summaries for reinforcement.

Although I tremendously enjoyed this book, I hope Brooks writes more books to provide more granularity. And I hope she writes about negotiations. Combining these two thoughts, I would like to know how negotiators can skillfully make their arguments persuasive through effective communication, both verbal and non-verbal.

[Dandelion · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is based on professor Alison Wood Brook's Harvard Business School course to improve students' conversational skills - handy both in business as well as in personal life.

I've read a few books of this genre this year and it's probably one of the better ones. I liked Wood Brook's examples and snippets of research; in fact, I would have liked more. Some of the other books I had read earlier, did poach some of the studies covered here.

Topics include:
- preparing questions ahead of a conversation
- listening
- asking questions
- levity
- managing difficult conversations with opposing points of view or even estrangement
- apologising

There are also lists of questions you can ask people to stimulate a conversation. Some of these questions may be culturally more appropriate in the US.

With all of these books, the proof is in the pudding, especially for an introvert like me. Last week, when I was reading this book, I had a random chat with a work inspector I had never met before. By the end of the conversation he turned to me and said: "That was a really good conversation!"

Perhaps there really is something to what those folks at Harvard Business School are learning. I hope the author publishes a book on her negotiation course some time.

[Winston? Kam · Rating 3 out of 5]

T - Topics
A - Ask good questions
L - Levity
K - Kindness

I enjoyed it! I did an experiment with my spin friend Ashley where I saw if preplanned topics by preparing 5 questions prior to our meeting it would make the conversation more interesting. Surprisingly I found she is not into deep, philosophical questions so it was difficult I’ll say. Anywho, inconclusive results

[Kimball · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. Wish I had the downloadable PDF. This book got boring a third of the way into it but the questions at the end were great.


Notes:


Being a successful person is about relationships and relationships are about talking.

The success by any topic is shaped by the emotion underlying it.

[DJ DC · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful and user friendly education on how to be a better conversationalist

[Brianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stunning.

[Nathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this—I think the organization makes a lot of sense, and I found Dr. Brooks’ voice refreshing and helpful. Feels like good evergreen learnings.

[Tynneil Richard · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

[Laura Tiessen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very interesting, fun, and helpful book.

[Lauren Gnagy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Accessible with pragmatic takeaways…one of the few books that will actually lead me to make changes in my day to day.

[Brynna · Rating 4 out of 5]

enjoyed listening to this a lot, especially because having conversations (especially with people I’ve just met) is pretty much all I do these days. I think a lot of this didn’t exactly feel like groundbreaking new knowledge to me, but it’s gotten me actively thinking about what makes some conversations feel so much more engaging than others and when I’m helping/hurting that. Definitely have had some convos with people that would really benefit from reading this book lol

[Mary Kay Zobava · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a gem. I only wish I’d read it when I was in my 20’s. The tips would have greatly improved by personal and professional life. Try it!

[Willie Gillis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Talk explores the fascinating yet sometimes frustrating art of conversation.

I picked this book up on a whim after reading another book where the author was mentioned. I thought the subject matter was interesting so I gave this one a try.

Although the subject matter isn’t anything new, it was good to get a refresher course in how to talk to others.

This book tends to get a big long winded in the second half as a bulk of the subject matter of this book is presented towards the first half. Even with that slight gripe, I found the information useful as we all need an update on how to have meaningful conversations with others.

Again, there’s nothing in this book that will be mind blowing but it’s a good idea to get reeducated.

3.5 stars!

[Feng Ouyang · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alison Wood Brooks’s "Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves" is a compelling and accessible guide to improving conversational effectiveness in both professional and personal contexts. Drawing from her research and teaching at Harvard Business School, Brooks offers readers a science-based framework to enhance the quality and depth of their interactions. Her central thesis is built around the “TALK” model—Topic, Ask, Levity, and Kindness—which she presents as the four pillars of meaningful and skillful conversation. The structure of the TALK framework is both intuitive and actionable. Each element is thoroughly explained and supported with practical advice.

The first component, *Topic*, emphasizes the importance of preparing conversational material. Brooks suggests that participants should be equipped with a mental list of potential topics while remaining flexible enough to engage with others' contributions. Topics, she argues, are not just vehicles to keep conversations going—they also set goals and intentions for dialogue. Thus, topic selection should be intentional rather than reactive. Moreover, she encourages readers to consciously assess when to deepen a current topic or pivot to a new one, depending on the flow and depth of the exchange.

The second element, *Ask*, focuses on the power of asking questions to invite participation and foster connection. Brooks highlights the need for genuine curiosity, urging readers to avoid superficial or formulaic questions. Instead, meaningful conversations arise from follow-up inquiries and open-ended prompts that allow others to elaborate. She goes further to recommend taking conversational risks—asking about personal or sensitive topics—arguing that people are often more open than anticipated. Contextualizing questions by offering one’s own self-disclosure can enhance this process, creating mutual openness and trust.

*Levity*, the third component, is presented as the emotional regulator in conversations. While topics and questions shape the content, levity shapes the atmosphere. Humor, in particular, is treated as both a learned skill and a mindset. As a mindset, it involves approaching conversations with a sense of playfulness and a willingness to find joy in shared moments. This perspective enables individuals to be more receptive to humor, to take conversational risks, and to respond to others with warmth and spontaneity, even if they are not naturally inclined to joke-telling. Brooks stresses that levity can deepen emotional bonds and should not be seen as the domain of a naturally funny few. One powerful tool she introduces is the “call back”—referring to a shared prior conversation or moment. This strategy not only showcases attentiveness but also builds a sense of intimacy and shared history. It also fosters an "in-group" mindset, which is very powerful in strengthening bonds.

The final component, *Kindness*, brings a deeper emotional awareness to the conversational table. At its most basic, kindness manifests as active, resonant listening—not just affirming what others say, but emotionally aligning with them. Brooks points out that “call backs” serve as gestures of kindness as well, affirming that one has been heard and remembered. Most importantly, kindness involves attending to the emotional and informational needs of the other person. It requires empathy, patience, and the willingness to temporarily set aside one’s own needs in service of mutual understanding.

Brooks also explores how the TALK framework applies to specific and often challenging conversational scenarios, such as group discussions, arguments, negotiations, and apologies. In these situations, she reiterates the importance of adopting others’ perspectives and “reading the room” to understand the social and emotional dynamics at play. Topic preparation becomes particularly crucial in high-stress interactions, as well-chosen topics can disarm tension and open pathways to resolution.

What distinguishes *Talk* from many other books on communication is its balance of practicality and scholarship. It is grounded in psychological research but remains focused on everyday application. Brooks succeeds in translating academic insights into tools that are both intuitive and useful, making the book relevant to a wide audience.

Nonetheless, *Talk* does have its limitations. The book concentrates on cooperative conversations where all parties are, at minimum, open to participation. As such, it offers little guidance for initiating or sustaining engagement with reluctant or disinterested individuals, such as in cold sales outreach or awkward social encounters. Additionally, it does not address the dynamics of communication via digital platforms like social media or messaging apps, which present their own sets of constraints and tools distinct from spoken conversation.

In addition, the book does not address the nuances of communication that occur on social media and messaging platforms. These digital forms of interaction involve unique challenges and affordances—such as the absence of vocal tone and body language, the potential for asynchronous exchange, and the amplification of messages to broader audiences. These elements significantly affect how conversational principles like levity, kindness, and emotional resonance are perceived and practiced. Including a discussion of these modalities would have made the framework more comprehensive in reflecting the full spectrum of modern communication.

The examples in the book also tend to come from broadcast interviews—settings that differ significantly from informal, day-to-day conversations in purpose, audience, and participant roles. A more explicit acknowledgment of these contextual differences would have helped readers better gauge the transferability of the techniques discussed.

Overall, *"Talk*" is a valuable addition to the literature on communication skills. It offers a clear, research-informed framework that empowers readers to be more intentional, empathetic, and effective in their conversations. Despite its scope limitations, the book carves out a distinctive space in the genre by focusing on the humanizing aspects of dialogue—curiosity, levity, and kindness—making it a timely and relevant resource for anyone seeking to connect more deeply with others through conversation.

[Sophie Muessel · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was one of those books that just spelled out the obvious and could have been easily reduced into a 30 minute podcast. I wanted more science and data.

[e]

With all due respect to the author, I could only read 25 percent of this book. Even though I started it with high expectations, unfortunately, it was quite slow and boring. Maybe I will get back to it later, but I have to abandon it for now :(

[Jenna · Rating 2 out of 5]

if you struggle to make conversation, this could be useful.

I was looking to go deeper and there was no new information in here. It was also quite boring to read.

[Christopher Edgar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Found out about this through Armchair Expert. Brooks is a professor at Harvard Business School specializing in the science of conversation. And in this book, she unpacks the four TALK maxims (more on this in a second), group conversations and apologizing. Ultimately, there wasn't anything earth shattering about this, but there were a few tidbits, specifically with the TALK maxims, that I think are valuable, so I'll share them here.

T is for Topics - Maybe the thing that stuck out the most is the emphasis on 1) preparing topics and 2) topic switching. Historically, because of my own insecurities around my abilities (or felt lack thereof) regarding conversation, I would really concern myself with preparing topics. This largely came out of fear and unhealthy views of myself, and the questions tended to be overly invasive or hyper specific to one person. There is certainly a time and a place for those sorts of questions, but they definitely are asking people to be far more vulnerable than they necessarily were planning. I think what's enlightening about Brooks' discourse regarding this was that the topics can be specific to the person but they can also just be light hearted and casual. It's not mind blowing, but being ready to switch topics to something else can really help when conversation grows stale. On that note, topic switching is not something to be afraid of. There's a maxim from my camp counselor days that when you are playing a game "cut it off at the peak." This was not to rob the campers of the experience. Instead, the idea was that if you cut it off at the peak each time, they'll be excited to come back to it later. While Brooks would not advise this exact same thing, her version may be something more akin to "cut it off shortly after the peak." And the more times you switch topics, the better, so long as you had enough time to really swim in the previous conversation. Maybe you didn't get all the juice out of it, but it at least did not grow stale or boring.
A is for Asking - This is probably the easiest one for me. Asking questions is a good idea. But the part of this that stuck out is the idea that follow up questions ought to be specific and invite the person to go deeper in the thing that they are talking about. But that requires a lot of attention on the other person and not on what I want to say. It's meant to be very other-focused. More on this in a minute.
L is for Levity - Another not shocking maxim. People enjoy conversation when there's humor. Humor isn't something that can necessarily be taught in a book, though. The main takeaway here was that there are many different types of humor and that jokes don't even have to be funny to bring value and connection to the conversation. Levity is actually very vulnerable and invites others to be vulnerable as well. So be not concerned with whether something lands. As long as it's not straight up offensive or vile, it's probably helping the conversation more than it's hurting it.
K is for Kindness - This is perhaps the most interesting one to me, not because the content was anything novel, but because it very much reflects on the human condition. I'll paraphrase Brooks here: saying we should engage in topics that others will find interesting, that we should ask questions, that we should be light hearted, that we should care about what the other person is going to say - all of these are obvious. Yet we all struggle to actually do it. We are so focused on ourselves that we struggle to actually demonstrate kindness in conversation. We don't give the benefit of the doubt. We don't give space to other people's thoughts, feelings, or emotions. We are very selfish. One could even say we are sinful (not Brooks' language, but my own). This is something that I think many books that outline strategies to grow in X often misunderstand. We aren't perfect. We are so egocentric as to disable us from actually being able to care for the other person. Kindness is hard and must be fought for.

I've gone on for too long already, but this book was an excellent read and very compelling. If you catch me topic switching often in a conversation later, you'll know why.