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Walking Over Eggshells: Surviving Mental Abuse
Walking Over Eggshells is an autobiography that tells the story of a mentally abused child, who married a "Walter Mitty" clone. They moved from England to Kenya, from Libya to Botswana and on again to South Africa. It took all her courage to survive in situations that were at times dangerous, sometimes humorous, but always nerve wracking. She had a variety of jobs, different types of homes, and was both a millionairess and totally broke. She met royalty, hosted ambassadors, and won numerous awards for her writing and television programs. She also climbed over garbage dumps, fended off bailiffs, and coped being abandoned in the African bush with a seven-week-old baby with no money or resources. She admits to being the biggest coward in the world, but her survival instincts kicked in and she lived to tell her story. This book will make you laugh and cry and hopefully inspire others who did not have the best start in life either. All names have been changed to protect both the guilty and the innocent - and that includes the author as well!
239 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 29, 2013
97 people are currently reading
1179 people want to read
About the author
Lucinda E. Clarke
26 books157 followersBorn in Dublin, matured in England, wanted to follow grandfather into Fleet Street, family not wildly enthusiastic - unfeminine, unreliable and dangerous. Went to dockland Liverpool - safe, respectable and pensionable. Returned south with teaching qualifications, extremely good at self defence. Went crofting in Scotland, bred Cairn Terriers among other things. Moved to Kenya with 7 week old daughter, abandoned in the bush. On to Libya, surviving riots, public hangings, imprisoned husband and eventual deportation. Queued with the unemployed millions in UK. Moved to Botswana - still teaching - opened and ran the worst riding school in the world,- with ‘How to...’ book in hand.
Moved south to South Africa taught for four years, then in 1986 became a full time freelance writer, for major corporations, UNESCO, UNICEF and the South African Broadcasting Corporation for both radio and television. Moving into video production in 1986, received over 20 awards, specializing in education, documentaries, municipal and government, one script for National Geographic.
Returned UK Jan 1994, back to SA before April elections.
Taught in 7 countries, including Britain, Kenya, France, Libya, Botswana, Swaziland and South Africa. Also found time to breed animals for pet shops, write a newspaper column, publish two books, Heinneman & Macmillan, and work for several years as a radio announcer. Married with two daughters, a stepson and stepdaughter, moved to Spain in 2008. I now write a monthly column and have published two more books, a memoir and an adventure story set in Africa.
Moved south to South Africa taught for four years, then in 1986 became a full time freelance writer, for major corporations, UNESCO, UNICEF and the South African Broadcasting Corporation for both radio and television. Moving into video production in 1986, received over 20 awards, specializing in education, documentaries, municipal and government, one script for National Geographic.
Returned UK Jan 1994, back to SA before April elections.
Taught in 7 countries, including Britain, Kenya, France, Libya, Botswana, Swaziland and South Africa. Also found time to breed animals for pet shops, write a newspaper column, publish two books, Heinneman & Macmillan, and work for several years as a radio announcer. Married with two daughters, a stepson and stepdaughter, moved to Spain in 2008. I now write a monthly column and have published two more books, a memoir and an adventure story set in Africa.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews
November 9, 2014
It takes a lot for me to read a book all the way through without skipping past the less interesting bits. Walking over Eggshells is one such book. There are no less interesting bits. Tight, well written, and searingly honest it is in fact possibly the most interesting book I’ve read this year. Partly because I can personally identify with the author’s early life predicament (dad died at two, check; uber-critical mum, check; being called the child of the Devil, check), but mainly because I can only sit back in awe at how she turned such a train wreck of obstacles – the mental and emotional abuse of a narcissistic mother, the madcap vagaries of a Mittyish husband, the dizzying relocation from one country to another (and often back again), the having to bring up two children virtually on her own, and finally the having to deal with a Dick who lives up to his name – into opportunities and carved out such a varied and successful career life for herself. Indeed, the phrase “strength through adversity” might have been coined for Lucinda as she learns, the hard way, to stop walking on eggshells around other people and to stand on her own two feet. Thus we having her teaching bruised and battered children in Liverpool, becoming a horse-riding instructor in Botswana, treading grapes in “dry” Benghazi, hosting radio shows in Libya, interviewing Prince Charles and Mandela in Durban, and independently running the video production company which eventually set her up in Spain. Indeed, as she herself observes, all those years of tip toeing around others, being careful of everything she said, enabled her to get the very best out of people: she became the best listener in the world! Denied the most natural love of all, that of a mother for a child, Lucinda asks herself “What might I really have achieved had I had a supportive loving background?” The answer, judging by the full and remarkable life described in her book, is: “Probably not half as much.”
November 25, 2014
If you ever need to definite resilience, think of Lucnida E Clarke, for she is resilience personified. To grow up with a mother burdened with a narcissistic personality disorder, and to suffer her insults and degrading comments in everything you do is bad enough. But then own her marriage added injury to insult. Her husband turned out, despite his evident charisma and a zest for life which she found so attractive, to be totally self-centred and self-serving, even to the point of dishonesty, and his cavalier attitude to familial responsibility must have been very hurtful. Despite all this, Lucinda stuck with it and somehow made things work, baling out everyone else each time things went wrong, which they did with monotonous regularity, through hard work and a dogged determination to survive.
Written by anyone else, this story could have been totally depressing. But Lucinda managed always to see hope, even when despair was staring her in the face. She constantly learned new skills, and turned her hand to absolutely anything, regardless of whether others might have found it degrading, just to make ends meet. Having suffered degradation at her mother’s hands all her life, nothing could daunt her spirit and in this superb narrative we see that she won through in the end. After years of abuse, she finally cleared most of the debris and found someone who truly valued her for what she is, a talented, capable woman, with an enormous warm heart and superb communication skills.
Her writing is easy and fluent and, although the tale she has to tell may be daunting, it is easy to read with hope in your heart that things are finally going to work out right this time. Nevertheless, living with that sort of background leaves scars, and the original source of the trouble, her mother’s cruelty and hatred, even cast its shadows down to the next generation, leaving a rift between her and her children. Despite this she still manages to demonstrate a generosity of spirit and an indefatigable phlegmatic approach that few of us could replicate.
This is an inspiring book. It should be obligatory reading for anyone who thinks life is tough, for theirs won’t ever be as tough as Lucinda’s was. Now, with the support of someone who truly values her, it is to be hoped that Lucinda will truly blossom, for hers is surely a flower worth seeing, just as her books are worth reading.
Written by anyone else, this story could have been totally depressing. But Lucinda managed always to see hope, even when despair was staring her in the face. She constantly learned new skills, and turned her hand to absolutely anything, regardless of whether others might have found it degrading, just to make ends meet. Having suffered degradation at her mother’s hands all her life, nothing could daunt her spirit and in this superb narrative we see that she won through in the end. After years of abuse, she finally cleared most of the debris and found someone who truly valued her for what she is, a talented, capable woman, with an enormous warm heart and superb communication skills.
Her writing is easy and fluent and, although the tale she has to tell may be daunting, it is easy to read with hope in your heart that things are finally going to work out right this time. Nevertheless, living with that sort of background leaves scars, and the original source of the trouble, her mother’s cruelty and hatred, even cast its shadows down to the next generation, leaving a rift between her and her children. Despite this she still manages to demonstrate a generosity of spirit and an indefatigable phlegmatic approach that few of us could replicate.
This is an inspiring book. It should be obligatory reading for anyone who thinks life is tough, for theirs won’t ever be as tough as Lucinda’s was. Now, with the support of someone who truly values her, it is to be hoped that Lucinda will truly blossom, for hers is surely a flower worth seeing, just as her books are worth reading.
February 14, 2017
There was much for me to recognise in this book and I found it to be a compelling read from the very first page. Frank, honest and at times painful to read, I found this to be one of those books that I will remember. I had read several books by Lucinda E Clarke before coming to this and I recognised the African connection now that I can see where life has taken this talented author. I was a fan before and this has only reaffirmed that this is an author with style and skill. She traverses very different worlds despite the aforementioned connection in her writing. Walking over eggshells is perhaps the most apt title I have seen for a book in years as it suits the bones of this incredible journey so well. For me that is how I saw this book, a journey through a malfunctioning family in her childhood and into her grown up world where malfunctioning husband would be an understatement as she travels around, changing countries and jobs in what I can only imagine must have been a fraught existence. AT the heart of her existence is the impact her relationship with her mother had. I have often said that all books are ultimately about love. It can be romantic, familiar and so on but the absence of love is perhaps the most intriguing. I completely understand the difficulty she must have had in putting this book to paper but it has been done with her usual style and engaging ways. Lucinda E. Clarke always promises much to me when I open one of her books and yet again she has delivered. An enthralling story. Five stars.
July 20, 2014
I struggled a little to rate this book as I don't generally read memoirs or biographies, so had no frame of reference. I was drawn towards this book because I have lived in several of the same places as the author and it dealt with the mother-daughter relationship, which I believe is the most problematic relationship there is.
The writing was clear and concise, without errors as it chronically moved through the author's life. The author says at the start, the book is based on her recollection of events but I felt she wrote with honesty, clarity and humour. By the end of the book I had a better understanding of the challenges the author faced and the decisions she made plus it made me think about my own experiences as a daughter and a mother.
As to the story itself - WOW! what an interesting life, led by a brave and strong-minded woman. Even if the main driving force in her life was the need to win the approval from a mother incapable of giving it, she should be proud of all she achieved.
As someone who prefers "made-up" stories I really enjoyed this book. I would strongly recommend it to anyone who enjoys memoirs but also to anyone who recognises true courage and the desire to follow their own path, wherever it might lead.
The writing was clear and concise, without errors as it chronically moved through the author's life. The author says at the start, the book is based on her recollection of events but I felt she wrote with honesty, clarity and humour. By the end of the book I had a better understanding of the challenges the author faced and the decisions she made plus it made me think about my own experiences as a daughter and a mother.
As to the story itself - WOW! what an interesting life, led by a brave and strong-minded woman. Even if the main driving force in her life was the need to win the approval from a mother incapable of giving it, she should be proud of all she achieved.
As someone who prefers "made-up" stories I really enjoyed this book. I would strongly recommend it to anyone who enjoys memoirs but also to anyone who recognises true courage and the desire to follow their own path, wherever it might lead.
August 5, 2014
I didn't find "Walking over Eggshells" an easy read - at times it resonated almost painfully with my own childhood and early adulthood. It is a well written memoir that transports you all over the UK, Africa and the Middle East, following Lucinda, her "Walter Mittyesque husband, her two daughters and her omnipresent Mother whose words and actions overshadows their every move. Full of anecdotes and stories, some of them scary, some uplifting and others heartbreakingly sad. Hats off to you Lucinda E Clarke for having the courage to write about your experiences and then to share them with us. Thank you, reading Walking Over Eggshells has helped me to lay some of my ghosts to rest, and for that alone, I'm eternally grateful.
November 15, 2014
Lucinda writes beautifully about her past with an abuse mother whom she loved very much but didn't understand. Her description of her life in England brought many memories back for me.
Like so many rather sad tales this one does have a happy ending. AS an adopted child myself I found many of her experiences hard to read because of my own unresolved issues. Happily Lucinda has resolved most of hers even though she was not adopted.
Like so many rather sad tales this one does have a happy ending. AS an adopted child myself I found many of her experiences hard to read because of my own unresolved issues. Happily Lucinda has resolved most of hers even though she was not adopted.
July 26, 2015
I'm definitely not one for reading stories about abuse, though I accept many stories would have much less impact as a result.
The book I am about to review was harrowing, with a parent who seemed to have no redeeming qualities at all.
The main character, Lucy, goes from life crash to life crash, sometimes on her own, sometimes with the man in her life.
Although just over two hundred pages, readers should take care to read the book properly. If you skip pages, it would be easy to miss things. In this review, it may be virtually impossible not to give out spoilers, so that's how this review will be presented.
From its opening pages, Lucy is treated as nothing by her mother. Well, perhaps not exactly nothing. It would be a wonder to know what her mother would do with her time if she did not have Lucy to direct her attacks towards.
The book shows Lucy from a young age to a middle aged woman, and not once does she appear to have gotten any love from her mother. As I read the book, I thought I would have gotten desensitised to the mother's actions, but no...my thoughts were along the lines of, Come on! This is your daughter! Try and be nice for once!
If this was a work of fiction, one might say that the mother was a one-dimensional baddie. But there comes a reveal near to the end that shows Lucy's mother might - just might have had a reason for all this behaviour.
It seems that if Lucy was thin, her mother would call her a stick insect. If she was fat, and in one scene she is, and her mother calls her out on it:-
"Lucinda, you are a fat girl and you will always be a fat girl."
This shocked me, but did not surprise me. However, I know all too well how sensitive women can be about their weight. I just couldn't imagine saying something like that to a family member, or indeed, to anyone I care about.
The story moves through different places - some I know, others I just have an awareness of.
From Dublin, the place of my mother's birth, through to Cheltenham - not a million miles away from me...then onto several countries within Africa including Libya and Botswana.
What's the reason for all this country hopping? There are valid reasons, but I advise you read this book so as not to give it away!
One of the things I absolutely loved was the naming of Lucy's car - Domino. There's a scene where Domino is in desperate need of a new battery (God, I've been there) and yet the hills in Bath (love that place) provide a solution. I believe you could have a 200 year old car with no battery and yet you would still be able to ignite the fuel to get and keep it going, such are the hills in Bath.
This story would risk falling on its face if not for the delicate humour placed throughout the book. Another memorable scene was where Lucy's husband karate chops a doorknob from its housing, and Lucy has to carry it in her bag at all times in order to open the door!
It's very difficult for me to review this book and give it any sense of justice. After all, this is a person's LIFE - who am I to review it or critique it effectively?
Hopefully, what I have done is give you a flavour of what is contained amongst its pages.
It's a wonderfully written book that sweeps you along with this girl, who in my view is a hell of a fighter, and there isn't a dray chapter in the whole book. Now that takes some doing.
I applaud the author for creating such an engaging book, but also heart wrenching at times. Still, I found I could not pull myself away from it.
It's definitely a five star book as far as I'm concerned. I'm sometimes told I am a little too enthusiastic with praise for authors. Not true. I will call it as I see it.
Don't Walk Over Eggshells to get this book. Make a stampede. It's excellent.
The book I am about to review was harrowing, with a parent who seemed to have no redeeming qualities at all.
The main character, Lucy, goes from life crash to life crash, sometimes on her own, sometimes with the man in her life.
Although just over two hundred pages, readers should take care to read the book properly. If you skip pages, it would be easy to miss things. In this review, it may be virtually impossible not to give out spoilers, so that's how this review will be presented.
From its opening pages, Lucy is treated as nothing by her mother. Well, perhaps not exactly nothing. It would be a wonder to know what her mother would do with her time if she did not have Lucy to direct her attacks towards.
The book shows Lucy from a young age to a middle aged woman, and not once does she appear to have gotten any love from her mother. As I read the book, I thought I would have gotten desensitised to the mother's actions, but no...my thoughts were along the lines of, Come on! This is your daughter! Try and be nice for once!
If this was a work of fiction, one might say that the mother was a one-dimensional baddie. But there comes a reveal near to the end that shows Lucy's mother might - just might have had a reason for all this behaviour.
It seems that if Lucy was thin, her mother would call her a stick insect. If she was fat, and in one scene she is, and her mother calls her out on it:-
"Lucinda, you are a fat girl and you will always be a fat girl."
This shocked me, but did not surprise me. However, I know all too well how sensitive women can be about their weight. I just couldn't imagine saying something like that to a family member, or indeed, to anyone I care about.
The story moves through different places - some I know, others I just have an awareness of.
From Dublin, the place of my mother's birth, through to Cheltenham - not a million miles away from me...then onto several countries within Africa including Libya and Botswana.
What's the reason for all this country hopping? There are valid reasons, but I advise you read this book so as not to give it away!
One of the things I absolutely loved was the naming of Lucy's car - Domino. There's a scene where Domino is in desperate need of a new battery (God, I've been there) and yet the hills in Bath (love that place) provide a solution. I believe you could have a 200 year old car with no battery and yet you would still be able to ignite the fuel to get and keep it going, such are the hills in Bath.
This story would risk falling on its face if not for the delicate humour placed throughout the book. Another memorable scene was where Lucy's husband karate chops a doorknob from its housing, and Lucy has to carry it in her bag at all times in order to open the door!
It's very difficult for me to review this book and give it any sense of justice. After all, this is a person's LIFE - who am I to review it or critique it effectively?
Hopefully, what I have done is give you a flavour of what is contained amongst its pages.
It's a wonderfully written book that sweeps you along with this girl, who in my view is a hell of a fighter, and there isn't a dray chapter in the whole book. Now that takes some doing.
I applaud the author for creating such an engaging book, but also heart wrenching at times. Still, I found I could not pull myself away from it.
It's definitely a five star book as far as I'm concerned. I'm sometimes told I am a little too enthusiastic with praise for authors. Not true. I will call it as I see it.
Don't Walk Over Eggshells to get this book. Make a stampede. It's excellent.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 12, 2014
I chose this memoir as a prize in a competition because the blurb attracted me. Having lived a similar life, I was interested to read a book which goes into the effects that maternal abuse had on this young and rather innocent girl who grew up actively deprived of love but to all intents and purposes in a life of relative comfort. Lucinda was so used to being bullied, insulted and dominated by her mother, it was not surprising she found herself in a marriage characterized by a dominant, but wildly appealing husband. He then catapulted her from one nerve-wracking situation to another and she let herself be carted half way across Africa partly because she didn't know how not to do what was expected of her. She'd had no other experience and had been denied knowledge of the real world so long she was more than a little naive about life. Her husband's irresponsible behaviour, however, sparked a will to survive and a courage to make things work for her family that was quite phenomenal.
Lucinda undertook almost anything to make ends meet, from teaching in schools to teaching horse-riding; from book-keeping to script writing and film production. Although she doesn't boast at all, she must be an extremely talented and gifted woman to have achieved what she has, especially under these circumstances, and I can only take my hat off to her. As a read, I found it slightly slow at the beginning, but once the pace picked up, it was a roller-coaster ride and I could hardly put it down. Very very compelling! Lucinda ends the book with the discovery that her mother suffered from narcissism, a realisation that does at least give her some peace. I think that everyone who has experienced a narcissistic parent, partner or close relative should read this book. It might not save them from suffering, but they will almost certainly recognise the behaviour, and it could help such sufferers to at least understand what they have been going through. I found it immensely inspiring, not at all depressing and full of colour and life. A really great read.
Lucinda undertook almost anything to make ends meet, from teaching in schools to teaching horse-riding; from book-keeping to script writing and film production. Although she doesn't boast at all, she must be an extremely talented and gifted woman to have achieved what she has, especially under these circumstances, and I can only take my hat off to her. As a read, I found it slightly slow at the beginning, but once the pace picked up, it was a roller-coaster ride and I could hardly put it down. Very very compelling! Lucinda ends the book with the discovery that her mother suffered from narcissism, a realisation that does at least give her some peace. I think that everyone who has experienced a narcissistic parent, partner or close relative should read this book. It might not save them from suffering, but they will almost certainly recognise the behaviour, and it could help such sufferers to at least understand what they have been going through. I found it immensely inspiring, not at all depressing and full of colour and life. A really great read.
September 1, 2014
Walking Over Eggshells is an honest and emotional memoir that begins in the early years of the author's life. She recounts her sad and miserable childhood as she is brought up by an overbearing and heartless mother. As the author moves into adulthood with low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness due to her relationship with her mother, it is no wonder that she finds and latches onto a husband who has a few quirks of his own.
The author perseveres throughout her topsy-turvy life as she tries to make the most of it. She moves abroad and works as a teacher, dog breeder, radio broadcaster, and even gives horse riding lessons all while holding her family together. The account of the author's life abroad is filled with stories that are remarkable at best.
The memoir gained greater momentum after the author began to write about leaving home for college and then recounting her many adventures. Well written in a clear and entertaining manner, it flowed easily throughout. I found Walking Over Eggshells to be a brave and sincere account of how one woman refused to give up each and every time life dumped on her.
Jill Dobbe, Author
HERE WE ARE & THERE WE GO
The author perseveres throughout her topsy-turvy life as she tries to make the most of it. She moves abroad and works as a teacher, dog breeder, radio broadcaster, and even gives horse riding lessons all while holding her family together. The account of the author's life abroad is filled with stories that are remarkable at best.
The memoir gained greater momentum after the author began to write about leaving home for college and then recounting her many adventures. Well written in a clear and entertaining manner, it flowed easily throughout. I found Walking Over Eggshells to be a brave and sincere account of how one woman refused to give up each and every time life dumped on her.
Jill Dobbe, Author
HERE WE ARE & THERE WE GO
October 19, 2014
This review is from: Walking Over Eggshells (Kindle Edition)
I can't recommend this book highly enough! An excellent read chronicling events in the life of the author who overcame adversity again and again, and achieved so much in her life against all the odds, having to resettle and virtually start again in several different countries from Libya to Africa. Very well written and I really could not put this book down. I kept putting off reading this memoir because I knew that it contained the mental abuse of the author by her mother. I was sorry to read that someone else had suffered from a similar upbringing to mine because my mother was also abusive and we had a very difficult relationship, but for me it was cathartic to read and at the end I felt much more enlightened about why some mothers behave in this way. Lucinda's mother was virtually a carbon copy of mine and I could strongly identify with her account of how the continual abuse and the complete lack of maternal care on her mother's part made her feel. Although the book is at times an emotional read, it is a fascinating one and humerous
I can't recommend this book highly enough! An excellent read chronicling events in the life of the author who overcame adversity again and again, and achieved so much in her life against all the odds, having to resettle and virtually start again in several different countries from Libya to Africa. Very well written and I really could not put this book down. I kept putting off reading this memoir because I knew that it contained the mental abuse of the author by her mother. I was sorry to read that someone else had suffered from a similar upbringing to mine because my mother was also abusive and we had a very difficult relationship, but for me it was cathartic to read and at the end I felt much more enlightened about why some mothers behave in this way. Lucinda's mother was virtually a carbon copy of mine and I could strongly identify with her account of how the continual abuse and the complete lack of maternal care on her mother's part made her feel. Although the book is at times an emotional read, it is a fascinating one and humerous
June 27, 2015
I met the author online when she responded to a blog post I had written about my loving, supportive mother. When I found out her memoir was about life with an insensitive, mentally-ill mother whose Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) wreaked havoc in her life, I became intrigued. Although I’m a nurse, I have not had any appreciable experience with this disorder and I wanted to learn more about it. She did not disappoint.
In a voice that is both painfully honest and disarmingly humorous, she captured my attention and kept me riveted to the pages as she took me on her travels through eight different countries while dealing with multiple obstacles—an emotionally abusive, mentally ill mother, an impulsive, restless, job-changing husband, and a series of career changes that had my head spinning.
Through out it all, I sensed an incredible resilience and strength while I questioned how anyone could tolerate such upheaval. I’ll admit, there were times when I got frustrated and wished she would stop tolerating her husband’s and mother’s insensitivities that took her on a whirlwind global tour. That is a tribute to her ability as a writer to pull me into her story. I’ve learned that there is always a reason for why people act the way they do and for Lucinda, it was her survival strategy. She does a beautiful job of bringing us into her world and keeping us suspended until the end by showing us in vivid detail the impact NPD can have on a family. That she is able to achieve so much in the midst of such gut-wrenching, insensitive emotional abuse from her mother and from her pipe-dreaming husband is a credit to her resilience and strength.
Her writing is clear, concise and her characters are well-developed and believable. The plot is face-paced, almost frantic at times but I enjoyed how she provides some relief by weaving in her sense of humor to balance the turmoil that I felt on a visceral level.
This book could qualify as both an adventuresome travel memoir and a helpful guide for anyone dealing with the impact of NPD, either individuals or health care professionals working with individuals or families afflicted by NPD. . Beyond that it is an entertaining and informative read. I highly recommend this book and look forward to reading more of this author’s work.
In a voice that is both painfully honest and disarmingly humorous, she captured my attention and kept me riveted to the pages as she took me on her travels through eight different countries while dealing with multiple obstacles—an emotionally abusive, mentally ill mother, an impulsive, restless, job-changing husband, and a series of career changes that had my head spinning.
Through out it all, I sensed an incredible resilience and strength while I questioned how anyone could tolerate such upheaval. I’ll admit, there were times when I got frustrated and wished she would stop tolerating her husband’s and mother’s insensitivities that took her on a whirlwind global tour. That is a tribute to her ability as a writer to pull me into her story. I’ve learned that there is always a reason for why people act the way they do and for Lucinda, it was her survival strategy. She does a beautiful job of bringing us into her world and keeping us suspended until the end by showing us in vivid detail the impact NPD can have on a family. That she is able to achieve so much in the midst of such gut-wrenching, insensitive emotional abuse from her mother and from her pipe-dreaming husband is a credit to her resilience and strength.
Her writing is clear, concise and her characters are well-developed and believable. The plot is face-paced, almost frantic at times but I enjoyed how she provides some relief by weaving in her sense of humor to balance the turmoil that I felt on a visceral level.
This book could qualify as both an adventuresome travel memoir and a helpful guide for anyone dealing with the impact of NPD, either individuals or health care professionals working with individuals or families afflicted by NPD. . Beyond that it is an entertaining and informative read. I highly recommend this book and look forward to reading more of this author’s work.
June 28, 2014
That Lucinda E Clarke can write and write well is not in question. This memoir left me breathless at times. She writes of her adventures, mis-adventures and family relationships in an honest but entertaining manner. As each chapter opened I could not wait for the continuing saga and adventures to recommence. I think the success of this memoir is the authors sense of humour and determination to press forward despite suffering a childhood (and indeed adulthood) at the hands of a mentally abusive mother. I was never depressed by her story but sometimes saddened and almost angry on her behalf. I wholeheartedly recommend this book, buy it, delve in and lose a few days, well worth it.
July 21, 2014
Dear Lucinda
Your struggles are a testament to your courage, integrity and strength of character. Occasionally, while reading the story of your life, "Walking Over Eggshells" I have been left speechless, incredulous at your mother's behaviour, especially in light of your repeated attempts to be conciliatory and forgiving.
How you have managed not only to survive but to triumph, is a salutary lesson to us all about the power of self-belief, and the ability of the human spirit to win against heavy odds. Congratulations, and thank you so much for sharing your story.
All the very best!
Fran Macilvey, "Trapped: My Life With Cerebral Palsy"
Your struggles are a testament to your courage, integrity and strength of character. Occasionally, while reading the story of your life, "Walking Over Eggshells" I have been left speechless, incredulous at your mother's behaviour, especially in light of your repeated attempts to be conciliatory and forgiving.
How you have managed not only to survive but to triumph, is a salutary lesson to us all about the power of self-belief, and the ability of the human spirit to win against heavy odds. Congratulations, and thank you so much for sharing your story.
All the very best!
Fran Macilvey, "Trapped: My Life With Cerebral Palsy"
March 22, 2021
Walking Over Eggshells is a true account of a remarkable person’s remarkable life. It’s a searingly honest memoir of the author’s amazing journey and the pace never flags as we accompany her on her experiences in some of the most deprived regions of the world
The starting point of this journey is the author’s desperate childhood. Emotionally abused by a mother with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, nothing she did was ever enough to deflect her mother’s cutting comments and casual cruelty. Perhaps it’s no surprise that she found escape in marrying a man who gradually revealed himself to be a Walter Mitty character, untrustworthy and dishonest.
Were this fiction, the response might be that the accounts here are over-the-top and implausible, but truth is often shocking, surprising and capable of taking your breath away. There’s no denying the brutal truth in this memoir and the author does little to gloss over her own shortcomings. The facts alone are astonishing. Lucinda follows her husband to various countries in Africa where their fortunes swing crazily from fabulous wealth to extreme poverty and back again in cycles. Her husband frequently works away from wherever they’ve settled and it’s left to Lucinda to cope with the logistics of raising her children, keeping a roof over their heads and walking the minefield presented by different cultures. At one point, they’re living the life of millionaires, at another she’s living in dire circumstances with one of her daughters, taking it in turns to use the single plate they own. In between these foreign excursions are equally disturbing spells back in the UK.
Despite the uncertainties and fear, the holding down several jobs at once, the bailiffs at the door, this isn’t a story of doom and gloom. There’s a rich seam of humour running through the chapters, often at the author’s expense, and everything comes together in one immensely readable, thrilling, moving whole.
Five memorable stars.
The starting point of this journey is the author’s desperate childhood. Emotionally abused by a mother with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, nothing she did was ever enough to deflect her mother’s cutting comments and casual cruelty. Perhaps it’s no surprise that she found escape in marrying a man who gradually revealed himself to be a Walter Mitty character, untrustworthy and dishonest.
Were this fiction, the response might be that the accounts here are over-the-top and implausible, but truth is often shocking, surprising and capable of taking your breath away. There’s no denying the brutal truth in this memoir and the author does little to gloss over her own shortcomings. The facts alone are astonishing. Lucinda follows her husband to various countries in Africa where their fortunes swing crazily from fabulous wealth to extreme poverty and back again in cycles. Her husband frequently works away from wherever they’ve settled and it’s left to Lucinda to cope with the logistics of raising her children, keeping a roof over their heads and walking the minefield presented by different cultures. At one point, they’re living the life of millionaires, at another she’s living in dire circumstances with one of her daughters, taking it in turns to use the single plate they own. In between these foreign excursions are equally disturbing spells back in the UK.
Despite the uncertainties and fear, the holding down several jobs at once, the bailiffs at the door, this isn’t a story of doom and gloom. There’s a rich seam of humour running through the chapters, often at the author’s expense, and everything comes together in one immensely readable, thrilling, moving whole.
Five memorable stars.
April 16, 2018
Walking Over Eggshells is the courageous story of Lucinda Clarke's life and her triumph over mental abuse. From the early age of three, when she was running away from home, to day she laid her mother to rest, Ms. Clarke opens our eyes to her strength and determination to persevere and champion a life filled with adventures and personal achievements. As the story unfolds, we are swept up in the turmoil and endless difficulties that she overcame, often at great cost emotionally and mentally, but always emerging on the other side stronger and with an ever increasing resolve to soldier-on.
Take the time to read Walking Over Eggshells, you will not be disappointed.
I thank Ms. Clarke for sharing her personal stories, I am the better for it.
This kindle book was a gift.
Take the time to read Walking Over Eggshells, you will not be disappointed.
I thank Ms. Clarke for sharing her personal stories, I am the better for it.
This kindle book was a gift.
March 11, 2019
Wow! What a woman and what a great memoir!
This is one of those memoirs that you have on your kindle quite a while and it takes a while to get to; I always seem to do this with books concerning abuse, I imagine they will be a difficult read, harrowing and so I keep thinking I'll get to it later when I've read a few happy ones first. Well now how I wish I had read this earlier! It's not all gloomy, there are many occasions where Lucinda's sense of humour comes through. I've enjoyed this so much that I have gone straight on to read her next book Truth, Lies and Propaganda. There is a very powerful start to this memoir. You just want to hug Lucinda and make it all right for her. Such terribly cruel behaviour by her mother. This really is a travel memoir-I'm amazed by how many countries and places are listed in the chapter headings. It's so moving and tugs at your heart strings. It seems a very balanced treatment: Lucinda acknowledges it must have been difficult for her mother, she isn't just saying she did this, she did that. Looking at the index of chapters, this book seemed like it was going to be like an around the world trip for me-eg. Ireland, England, Africa etc. Reference to the title happens fairly early on. This really is the perfect title, it says exactly how Lucinda had to be. It seems the mother used Lucinda as a slave or a maid to do all the housework while she sat and did nothing much eg. read the paper or watched TV. Lucinda suffered mental abuse at the hands of her mother, making her feel she was stupid and unworthy of being loved. The abuse isn't talked about so much in the book, the book content is so much more. The abuse doesn't seem to have been excessively violent-but she does get hit with a slipper and I'm not saying what she suffered is any less than other people, just making the point that the book is far from just an account of suffering abuse. It was a very absorbing read. Her mother would charge Lucinda rent when she was home from college! This meant she needed a job to cover it. She did various things, chambermaid at several hotels, waitress etc. and now this is really interesting: she worked on archaeological digs. In the book she talks about going through college, living away from home, boyfriends etc. There are so many remarks that make you smile and she has a very entertaining way of telling her story. It's very well-told, in a way that makes you want to keep reading on. There's lots to tell about husband Jeremy, jobs, moves, money problems. Beautifully written, poignant, informative, humorous at times. The pace is just right describing Lucinda's very full and varied life. I was glued to it! An amazing read. So much to it and it continued to be so powerful with many highs and lows. I liked the inclusion of letters to mum and Paul, lots of info in these. She has had to pick herself up and start again so many times. Wow! What a woman and what a great memoir!
This is one of those memoirs that you have on your kindle quite a while and it takes a while to get to; I always seem to do this with books concerning abuse, I imagine they will be a difficult read, harrowing and so I keep thinking I'll get to it later when I've read a few happy ones first. Well now how I wish I had read this earlier! It's not all gloomy, there are many occasions where Lucinda's sense of humour comes through. I've enjoyed this so much that I have gone straight on to read her next book Truth, Lies and Propaganda. There is a very powerful start to this memoir. You just want to hug Lucinda and make it all right for her. Such terribly cruel behaviour by her mother. This really is a travel memoir-I'm amazed by how many countries and places are listed in the chapter headings. It's so moving and tugs at your heart strings. It seems a very balanced treatment: Lucinda acknowledges it must have been difficult for her mother, she isn't just saying she did this, she did that. Looking at the index of chapters, this book seemed like it was going to be like an around the world trip for me-eg. Ireland, England, Africa etc. Reference to the title happens fairly early on. This really is the perfect title, it says exactly how Lucinda had to be. It seems the mother used Lucinda as a slave or a maid to do all the housework while she sat and did nothing much eg. read the paper or watched TV. Lucinda suffered mental abuse at the hands of her mother, making her feel she was stupid and unworthy of being loved. The abuse isn't talked about so much in the book, the book content is so much more. The abuse doesn't seem to have been excessively violent-but she does get hit with a slipper and I'm not saying what she suffered is any less than other people, just making the point that the book is far from just an account of suffering abuse. It was a very absorbing read. Her mother would charge Lucinda rent when she was home from college! This meant she needed a job to cover it. She did various things, chambermaid at several hotels, waitress etc. and now this is really interesting: she worked on archaeological digs. In the book she talks about going through college, living away from home, boyfriends etc. There are so many remarks that make you smile and she has a very entertaining way of telling her story. It's very well-told, in a way that makes you want to keep reading on. There's lots to tell about husband Jeremy, jobs, moves, money problems. Beautifully written, poignant, informative, humorous at times. The pace is just right describing Lucinda's very full and varied life. I was glued to it! An amazing read. So much to it and it continued to be so powerful with many highs and lows. I liked the inclusion of letters to mum and Paul, lots of info in these. She has had to pick herself up and start again so many times. Wow! What a woman and what a great memoir!
June 1, 2015
I met the author online when she responded to a blog post I had written about my loving, supportive mother. When I found out her memoir was about life with an insensitive, mentally-ill mother whose Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) wreaked havoc in her life, I became intrigued. Although I’m a nurse, I have not had any appreciable experience with this disorder and I wanted to learn more about it. She did not disappoint.
In a voice that is both painfully honest and disarmingly humorous, she captured my attention and kept me riveted to the pages as she took me on her travels through eight different countries while dealing with multiple obstacles—an emotionally abusive, mentally ill mother, an impulsive, restless, job-changing husband, and a series of career changes that had my head spinning.
Through out it all, I sensed an incredible resilience and strength while I questioned how anyone could tolerate such upheaval. I’ll admit, there were times when I got frustrated and wished she would stop tolerating her husband’s and mother’s insensitivities that took her on a whirlwind global tour. That is a tribute to her ability as a writer to pull me into her story. I’ve learned that there is always a reason for why people act the way they do and for Lucinda, it was her survival strategy. She does a beautiful job of bringing us into her world and keeping us suspended until the end by showing us in vivid detail the impact NPD can have on a family. That she is able to achieve so much in the midst of such gut-wrenching, insensitive emotional abuse from her mother and from her pipe-dreaming husband is a credit to her resilience and strength.
Her writing is clear, concise and her characters are well-developed and believable. The plot is face-paced, almost frantic at times but I enjoyed how she provides some relief by weaving in her sense of humor to balance the turmoil that I felt on a visceral level.
This book could qualify as both an adventuresome travel memoir and a helpful guide for anyone dealing with the impact of NPD, either individuals or health care professionals working with individuals or families afflicted by NPD. . Beyond that it is an entertaining and informative read. I highly recommend this book and look forward to reading more of this author's work.
In a voice that is both painfully honest and disarmingly humorous, she captured my attention and kept me riveted to the pages as she took me on her travels through eight different countries while dealing with multiple obstacles—an emotionally abusive, mentally ill mother, an impulsive, restless, job-changing husband, and a series of career changes that had my head spinning.
Through out it all, I sensed an incredible resilience and strength while I questioned how anyone could tolerate such upheaval. I’ll admit, there were times when I got frustrated and wished she would stop tolerating her husband’s and mother’s insensitivities that took her on a whirlwind global tour. That is a tribute to her ability as a writer to pull me into her story. I’ve learned that there is always a reason for why people act the way they do and for Lucinda, it was her survival strategy. She does a beautiful job of bringing us into her world and keeping us suspended until the end by showing us in vivid detail the impact NPD can have on a family. That she is able to achieve so much in the midst of such gut-wrenching, insensitive emotional abuse from her mother and from her pipe-dreaming husband is a credit to her resilience and strength.
Her writing is clear, concise and her characters are well-developed and believable. The plot is face-paced, almost frantic at times but I enjoyed how she provides some relief by weaving in her sense of humor to balance the turmoil that I felt on a visceral level.
This book could qualify as both an adventuresome travel memoir and a helpful guide for anyone dealing with the impact of NPD, either individuals or health care professionals working with individuals or families afflicted by NPD. . Beyond that it is an entertaining and informative read. I highly recommend this book and look forward to reading more of this author's work.
July 24, 2015
This is an excellent, interesting and touching story. Hard to read in places, though the author has a light and humourous touch with the details she does not shield or pander to the reader which makes it a very worthwhile read. The lifestory here is not an easy one, and the word I keep returning to for the author in my mind is indomitable. There's a lot to be inspired by in this book, of how one person can be faced with a multitude of difficulties but still move forward. I have a lot of admiration for what she has been through and as someone who has also suffered abuse from people with NPD some parts were a little too close to home! Very much recommend.
February 5, 2018
Lucinda’s story is primarily about mental abuse which is not as obvious and accepted as other forms of abuse but often more damaging long term.
Mental abuse creates low self-esteem and takes away confidence
This books deals with the author eventually coming to terms with her mother having a narcissistic personality disorder, something I am also familiar with.
I became easily involved with Lucinda’s story from being born in Dublin, moving to Wales, Liverpool and Wiltshire London. It is a story of getting as far away from her mother as possible, but ultimately finding there is really no escape from her mother.
Lucinda lived in Melksham, Scotland, Kenya, Vale of Evesham, Tripoli, Benghazi, Gaborone and Francistown Botswana, Johannesburg and Pretoria, Swaziland, Durban Harbour, to finally settling in Spain where she resides today.
It is journey of a woman trying to prove to herself that she is worthy. Of trying to undo the damage her mother did to her.
It’s a book about trying to achieve that maternal love we all believe to be so true.
For if our mother cannot love us, then what hope do we have of anyone else ever loving us.
This is a book that makes it clear not all mothers are loving. And that it’s hard to accept your mother will never be able to love you and there is a nothing you can ever do to change that.
The book is namely told in narration, but did hold my interest as I always wanted to know what was happening next. Since I’ve never lived in any of the places she’s lived in, I found that an interesting part of the book also.
My only criticism being I would have enjoyed more dialogue.
But all in all, I enjoyed the read and recommend it.
Mental abuse creates low self-esteem and takes away confidence
This books deals with the author eventually coming to terms with her mother having a narcissistic personality disorder, something I am also familiar with.
I became easily involved with Lucinda’s story from being born in Dublin, moving to Wales, Liverpool and Wiltshire London. It is a story of getting as far away from her mother as possible, but ultimately finding there is really no escape from her mother.
Lucinda lived in Melksham, Scotland, Kenya, Vale of Evesham, Tripoli, Benghazi, Gaborone and Francistown Botswana, Johannesburg and Pretoria, Swaziland, Durban Harbour, to finally settling in Spain where she resides today.
It is journey of a woman trying to prove to herself that she is worthy. Of trying to undo the damage her mother did to her.
It’s a book about trying to achieve that maternal love we all believe to be so true.
For if our mother cannot love us, then what hope do we have of anyone else ever loving us.
This is a book that makes it clear not all mothers are loving. And that it’s hard to accept your mother will never be able to love you and there is a nothing you can ever do to change that.
The book is namely told in narration, but did hold my interest as I always wanted to know what was happening next. Since I’ve never lived in any of the places she’s lived in, I found that an interesting part of the book also.
My only criticism being I would have enjoyed more dialogue.
But all in all, I enjoyed the read and recommend it.
June 5, 2019
Lucinda E Clarke’s memoir is a real shocker! In an enlightening way I mean.
Her nasty and vindictive mother strove from day one to control her life, by inflicting a rare kind of mental abuse which later became known as NPD Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
The story begins as Lucinda, a miserable and frightened little girl, tries to run away while struggling to understand why she is constantly criticised and told she is bad.
An only child growing up with a single parent and the knowledge that for some reason her mother doesn’t love her, she bends over backwards to please.
The mental torture continues for the rest of her life, while her mother appears to wield a psychological spell on her.
The author travelled to Kenya, Libya, Botswana then South Africa, and against all odds strove to succeed in everything she did. This in spite of a husband who was unfaithful and irresponsible to the last.
Her love for her two daughters is without doubt, but struggling to bring them up without support, she loses an ongoing battle to save them from the negative influences of her mother and errant husband.
After being the first woman in South Africa to undertake her own divorce proceedings (ie without legal representation), Lucinda found love again and is these days happily married and living in Spain.
I hope that this work has been some kind of catharsis for Lucinda and she is now free of the negativity and self-doubt her mother attempted to instil into her.
Walking Over Eggshells is an unmissable read.
Her nasty and vindictive mother strove from day one to control her life, by inflicting a rare kind of mental abuse which later became known as NPD Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
The story begins as Lucinda, a miserable and frightened little girl, tries to run away while struggling to understand why she is constantly criticised and told she is bad.
An only child growing up with a single parent and the knowledge that for some reason her mother doesn’t love her, she bends over backwards to please.
The mental torture continues for the rest of her life, while her mother appears to wield a psychological spell on her.
The author travelled to Kenya, Libya, Botswana then South Africa, and against all odds strove to succeed in everything she did. This in spite of a husband who was unfaithful and irresponsible to the last.
Her love for her two daughters is without doubt, but struggling to bring them up without support, she loses an ongoing battle to save them from the negative influences of her mother and errant husband.
After being the first woman in South Africa to undertake her own divorce proceedings (ie without legal representation), Lucinda found love again and is these days happily married and living in Spain.
I hope that this work has been some kind of catharsis for Lucinda and she is now free of the negativity and self-doubt her mother attempted to instil into her.
Walking Over Eggshells is an unmissable read.
March 24, 2018
Firstly, I think it’s very brave of the author to write her life story, especially if it’s as difficult and trauma-filled. I think Lucinda E.Clarke reflects brilliantly on herself as a character, and she is actually able to see both the light and dark aspects of her personality and background. Hats off to that!
Of course, this story is difficult to read at times, as the main character often lets others walk all over her. I think the reader has to have a certain dose of open-mindedness and some level of empathy to appreciate this story. She also makes some unfortunate choices, but her choices, no matter how flawed, are those of love, which is very relatable in my opinion. All the things create a strong, driven character. I also like that despite her life with a crazed man, and longing for her mother's appreciation and love, she still manages to look back at some of those memories with humour.
A lot has been said about the plot in many other reviews, so I would just like to write that I appreciated this literary piece for what it was - an honest, brave, and unique confession. Whether it touches or upset the reader, whether it’s in tune with one’s open-minded, empathetic side or the closed, judgemental one, the most important thing is that it makes a strong impact and leaves a message behind.
Of course, this story is difficult to read at times, as the main character often lets others walk all over her. I think the reader has to have a certain dose of open-mindedness and some level of empathy to appreciate this story. She also makes some unfortunate choices, but her choices, no matter how flawed, are those of love, which is very relatable in my opinion. All the things create a strong, driven character. I also like that despite her life with a crazed man, and longing for her mother's appreciation and love, she still manages to look back at some of those memories with humour.
A lot has been said about the plot in many other reviews, so I would just like to write that I appreciated this literary piece for what it was - an honest, brave, and unique confession. Whether it touches or upset the reader, whether it’s in tune with one’s open-minded, empathetic side or the closed, judgemental one, the most important thing is that it makes a strong impact and leaves a message behind.
March 17, 2018
The can certainly understand the title of this well-written book, when it is discovered that the author was brought up by a mother with a personality disorder. But that’s just the start to this compelling narrative that takes Clarke traipsing around the world and experiences the joys and sorrows that are inherent in the human condition. From dysfunctional mother to equally dysfunctional husband, this author demonstrates heart, ability, and fortitude as she moves about, never staying in one place long enough to grow roots. At the core of this riveting read, is the resilience of this very talented author. And talented she is. I have read her other books earlier on and became a fan. Hesitant to venture into this one, non-fiction, I feared I’d be disappointed. Gladly, my preconceived concerns were way off. This reads very bit as good as her novels and equally compelling.
December 16, 2020
WALKING OVER EGGSHELLS by Lucinda Clarke is a frank and brave memoir of a woman scarred by abusive relationships, but who is determined to live her best life no matter the obstacles. Despite many setbacks, she lives hard and succeeds much. This is a story that can be an inspiration to others who have experienced damaging abuse, and for that reason, it is an important read. It is also an easy and well-written read. There is much here to savor. In my view, it deserves a five-star rating. –From Linda Lee Greene, Author & Artist
July 6, 2016
This is a book that I believe the majority, if not all, parents would do well to read. It clearly, and uncompromisingly, depicts how a parent’s behaviour may impact on their off-spring for life.
Lucinda Clarke is an excellent author whose writing carries you along with ease. She incorporates humour along with distress; emotions with thoughts, clear headedness with uncertainty and so on. Her writing is so smooth that there were occasions when I had been surprised by how many years had passed in the tale; there are the occasional references to age which establish the chronology.
Now, how much to tell you? I do not want to spoil it for potential readers by outlining too much. This is the author’s own story. I would call it an autobiography but many follow the modern trend of referring to all such works as a memoir. However, this book does encompass, in chronological order, a substantial proportion of the authors life.
We start with Lucinda when she is but a very young child. There is the amusing yet sad account of how at three years of age she packs her little suitcase and leaves home. This opens up to us the underlying river of emotions, abuse (mostly mental) and self-doubt that underpins the whole story and most of Lucinda Clarke’s life.
We read about the author’s battle to get away from home; to escape from abuse; to be her own person; to obtain further education from the places of her choice; to get to know the opposite sex. Then there is her marriage to a man who would prove unreliable and dishonest but whom she loved. Lucinda’s life subsequently takes a path that would lead to many adventures; wealth; poverty; civil unrest; etc., most of which occur in a variety of different African countries where her husband initially found employment. But then comes a time when she has to fend for herself and her daughters in countries that hold women in low regard. This is where her remarkable abilities come to the fore and, despite the years of being, and consequently feeling, undermined, she discovers abilities that surprise not only her but also us. That is how much she draws you in to the tale with her excellent writing. You feel with Lucinda; the joy of success; the fear of destitution; the fear of homelessness; concern for her children; how to make ends meet; the turmoil of deciding what action would be for the best. And all of this is without any of the support that should have been hers. Many of us have lived through difficult times but I would suggest the majority have taken for granted there will be some support from relatives, friends etc. but not for Lucinda. I am able to empathise as for most of my own life I have also had to go on without the support structure so many take for granted.
I think this must be where I stop. As said I do not wish to spoil the read for others.
As most of my readers know I believe in applying book ratings accurately. Lucinda is indeed an excellent writer; the style, flow and accuracy really do carry you through with ease and comfort without detracting from the intenseness of the dramatic moments. I am going to take the unusual, for me at least, step of allocating five stars. In my opinion the author, and this book, merit it.
Please Note: The book cover has been updated recently so please do not get confused. You may see both covers on the book page.
Lucinda Clarke is an excellent author whose writing carries you along with ease. She incorporates humour along with distress; emotions with thoughts, clear headedness with uncertainty and so on. Her writing is so smooth that there were occasions when I had been surprised by how many years had passed in the tale; there are the occasional references to age which establish the chronology.
Now, how much to tell you? I do not want to spoil it for potential readers by outlining too much. This is the author’s own story. I would call it an autobiography but many follow the modern trend of referring to all such works as a memoir. However, this book does encompass, in chronological order, a substantial proportion of the authors life.
We start with Lucinda when she is but a very young child. There is the amusing yet sad account of how at three years of age she packs her little suitcase and leaves home. This opens up to us the underlying river of emotions, abuse (mostly mental) and self-doubt that underpins the whole story and most of Lucinda Clarke’s life.
We read about the author’s battle to get away from home; to escape from abuse; to be her own person; to obtain further education from the places of her choice; to get to know the opposite sex. Then there is her marriage to a man who would prove unreliable and dishonest but whom she loved. Lucinda’s life subsequently takes a path that would lead to many adventures; wealth; poverty; civil unrest; etc., most of which occur in a variety of different African countries where her husband initially found employment. But then comes a time when she has to fend for herself and her daughters in countries that hold women in low regard. This is where her remarkable abilities come to the fore and, despite the years of being, and consequently feeling, undermined, she discovers abilities that surprise not only her but also us. That is how much she draws you in to the tale with her excellent writing. You feel with Lucinda; the joy of success; the fear of destitution; the fear of homelessness; concern for her children; how to make ends meet; the turmoil of deciding what action would be for the best. And all of this is without any of the support that should have been hers. Many of us have lived through difficult times but I would suggest the majority have taken for granted there will be some support from relatives, friends etc. but not for Lucinda. I am able to empathise as for most of my own life I have also had to go on without the support structure so many take for granted.
I think this must be where I stop. As said I do not wish to spoil the read for others.
As most of my readers know I believe in applying book ratings accurately. Lucinda is indeed an excellent writer; the style, flow and accuracy really do carry you through with ease and comfort without detracting from the intenseness of the dramatic moments. I am going to take the unusual, for me at least, step of allocating five stars. In my opinion the author, and this book, merit it.
Please Note: The book cover has been updated recently so please do not get confused. You may see both covers on the book page.
August 8, 2015
Having read ‘Amie: An African Adventure’ I knew I could anticipate a high quality of writing in this memoir. At the same time I was reluctant to begin it, correctly guessing that it would touch on many painfully raw elements in my own life. Lucinda Clarke was born the same year as me, and although her circumstances and story were very different from mine, there were recognisable similarities. I found the book impossible to put down once I’d started. The traumatic events throughout her childhood and later as she travelled from country to country were relentless, yet she managed to describe them with a lightness of touch and wry humour that was probably her saving grace and helped her survive. I am not going to reiterate the story as the synopsis tells you what to expect. I will just add that my heart went out to Lucinda Clarke, as a fellow victim of a NPD mother. At the mercy of such a mother it’s not just the lack of empathy or compassion but the degree of scorn and fundamental rejection that turns the concept of unconditional love on its head. For the narcissist we are all objects on the periphery of their egocentric bubble, our only value in providing a constant flow of narcissistic supply. When we no longer collude with them we feel the full thrust and measure of their contempt. We are worthless to them, and are in danger of becoming worthless to ourselves, which is why the children of narcissists so often go on to become ensnared in similarly abusive relationships. The pain involved in cutting free (if we can) is excruciating. Perhaps only another daughter of a NPD mother can appreciate just what a lifelong torture that is, however we manage our journey towards achieving it. In reading Lucinda Clarke’s memoir you will inevitably empathise with her, at times feel frustration on her behalf, and ultimately gain a degree of wisdom and admiration for her. It takes courage to write such an honest account, and I imagine there is also a sense of liberation for the author in sharing her experience and finally stepping back to gain perspective. An absorbing, intelligent, emotional read.
December 4, 2015
My heart skipped a few painful beats each time Lucinda's mother belittled her with criticism, and attacked her choices in life. A mother who is emotionally and morally immature, pretending to be an adult while behaving like a spoiled child is a scary way to be raised. No wonder Lucinda spent her life walking over eggshells.
I greatly admire the way Lucinda dealt with her mother's personality disorder and lack of empathy, at a young age, and how she handled each traumatic event with an understanding and unconditional love. This and Lucinda's sense of humor helped her not only survive childhood, but moved her forward in life as a young wife, caring mother, and a successful business woman.
Despite great obstacles (a loose cannon husband, many moves to foreign countries, and raising her children on her own), Lucinda finds the courage to let go and learn to stand on her own. And thrive!
A well written, inspirational book.
I greatly admire the way Lucinda dealt with her mother's personality disorder and lack of empathy, at a young age, and how she handled each traumatic event with an understanding and unconditional love. This and Lucinda's sense of humor helped her not only survive childhood, but moved her forward in life as a young wife, caring mother, and a successful business woman.
Despite great obstacles (a loose cannon husband, many moves to foreign countries, and raising her children on her own), Lucinda finds the courage to let go and learn to stand on her own. And thrive!
A well written, inspirational book.
July 26, 2015
It became clear to me toward the end of the book why the author wrote her story. It was a therapeutic for her. It was also a way for her to validate that she is not bad, that she is indeed successful and that she treated her mother well in spite of her mother never acknowledging any of those facts. And, since her mother never acknowledged that she is all of those things she is hoping whoever reads her story will acknowledge it. In addition to this she has lived an interesting life. This is especially true after she married and moved away from her mother. Up to that point it was more a story of how she tried to be a good daughter which in and of itself is not all that interesting but she is a decent writer so I was pulled into the story. And, to be fair, clearly her mother had issues.
August 9, 2016
Beautiful story of surviving narcissistic parent
Lucinda Clarke's amazing story kept me walking on eggshells. I read until I could bear her mother's abuse no more, took a.break, then went back to finish the fascinating story. Her mother's abuse prepared her for marriage to a sociopath. Thankfully, she had the strength to escape. Her mother's machinations affected all her relationships, but Lucinda triumphed! I cheered at her successes and grieved at her losses. Wonderful book.
Lucinda Clarke's amazing story kept me walking on eggshells. I read until I could bear her mother's abuse no more, took a.break, then went back to finish the fascinating story. Her mother's abuse prepared her for marriage to a sociopath. Thankfully, she had the strength to escape. Her mother's machinations affected all her relationships, but Lucinda triumphed! I cheered at her successes and grieved at her losses. Wonderful book.
June 1, 2015
Wow!
Honest, raw, unflinching. A well written book about a tough childhood though one of education and some advantages. A nightmare mother, a tough first marriage. It is an amazing, and amazingly upbeat, tale. I never give five stars - almost never - though I read one or two dozen books a month. This got five stars.
Honest, raw, unflinching. A well written book about a tough childhood though one of education and some advantages. A nightmare mother, a tough first marriage. It is an amazing, and amazingly upbeat, tale. I never give five stars - almost never - though I read one or two dozen books a month. This got five stars.
June 22, 2016
Walking Over Eggshells by Lucinda E Clarke was a very good read. The subject matter was quite intense, but that to me is what makes for a great book. Once it caught my attention it was hard to put down. If I had not been so busy with the second book of my Sweet Melissa series, "Sweet Melissa:What's so Sweet about Melissa?", I would have most certainly finished sooner. Great job Lucinda!!
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