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The Lost Past of Billy McQueen
The past has never left Billy. It's just been waiting for him to come and find it...
It's been over thirty years since Billy last called Northern Ireland home. Back then, his secret love for schoolfriend Conor was the only shining light that kept him going during troubled times. That is, until their romance was tragically cut short when Conor disappeared without a trace.
Now a phone call draws Billy back home when his mother falls into a coma. While sorting through old belongings, he stumbles upon an envelope bearing his name. Inside, he finds a mysterious note and a mixtape left by Conor - dated the very day he disappeared in 1989.
But who sent it? Why did his mother keep it hidden? And what really happened to Conor?
As Billy sets off to find the answers to a mystery that's followed him for years, he soon realises that uncovering the truth about his lost past may come at a high cost. But laying the ghosts of that past to rest might be the only way to finally set himself free...
From the author of The Vanishing of Margaret Small comes a compelling and deeply nostalgic coming-of-age tale that promises to touch your heart and stay with you long after the last page. Packed with humour and tenderness, it's perfect for fans of The Last List of Mabel Beaumont, The Keeper of Stories and A Tidy Ending.
It's been over thirty years since Billy last called Northern Ireland home. Back then, his secret love for schoolfriend Conor was the only shining light that kept him going during troubled times. That is, until their romance was tragically cut short when Conor disappeared without a trace.
Now a phone call draws Billy back home when his mother falls into a coma. While sorting through old belongings, he stumbles upon an envelope bearing his name. Inside, he finds a mysterious note and a mixtape left by Conor - dated the very day he disappeared in 1989.
But who sent it? Why did his mother keep it hidden? And what really happened to Conor?
As Billy sets off to find the answers to a mystery that's followed him for years, he soon realises that uncovering the truth about his lost past may come at a high cost. But laying the ghosts of that past to rest might be the only way to finally set himself free...
From the author of The Vanishing of Margaret Small comes a compelling and deeply nostalgic coming-of-age tale that promises to touch your heart and stay with you long after the last page. Packed with humour and tenderness, it's perfect for fans of The Last List of Mabel Beaumont, The Keeper of Stories and A Tidy Ending.
286 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 1, 2024
440 people are currently reading
537 people want to read
About the author
Neil Alexander
2 books151 followersMuch of the inspiration for Neil Alexander's debut novel, 'The Vanishing of Margaret Small', came directly from the voices of people with a learning disability, and the incredibly moving first person accounts of living in long stay institutions, which he heard while working for the UK charity Mencap. Neil, who has a Masters degree in English Literature from the University of Kent at Canterbury, began his career working in health journalism. Originally from Northern Ireland, he now lives in the seaside town of Whitstable in Kent. He currently teaches English part-time and is working on his second novel. You can follow Neil on Twitter @neilalexander_ and Instagram @neilalexanderwriter
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 126 reviews
November 28, 2024
Let me tell you, after just one book, Neil was one of my most favourite authors. The Vanishing of Margaret Small was one of my all-time most loved books and I was so eager to read his new one, and so I jumped at the chance to read an early copy.
Neil depicts relationships and love so well. Not just romantic love - although there is that - but lost love, new love, long love, friendships, strangers to comrades. It's just beautiful. And obviously with love, often comes the other side of the coin - grief, hate, and anger, and he depicts them so well too.
His description of grief in this book is beautiful - as it was in Margaret Small. Grief is an incredibly hard thing to vocalise, even if you've gone through it, let alone put it on paper in a sensitive and honest way, but he's managed it. In the literal sense of a bereavement, but also of missing people and regrets, grief for a job, a home, a life, the past, a future.
He makes me long for a time I know nothing about, a time I never experienced for myself. It's more of a feeling I suppose than an actual tangible date. It's hard to describe without sounding a bit cuckoo, but hopefully if you read this book then you'll know what I mean.
It flashes between the 1980s in Northern Ireland, and then 2023/24. The 80s in Northern Ireland was a difficult time, and so is the present scenes, just in different ways, and it was fascinating to see the comparison between the two. I loved both sections, but I'd say I leaned further towards the present scenes. I can't pinpoint exactly why, but I found myself enjoying those chapters just a smidge more, but each section is fab.
It's not easy going, I'll say that. It has some powerful topics - the Troubles of Northern Ireland, missing people, abandonment, homophobia, job losses, struggles with sexuality, political tensions, abuse, money troubles, illness, death - it's a lot. But amongst all of that is hope and love and they shine brightly.
It's so touching, so moving, so beautiful. It also angered me. I know it's just a fictional book and it was a different time then, but the homophobia angers me so much. The idea that someone could abandon their child because they happen to love someone of the same sex, it just baffles me. Neil has done it so sensitively and so real that I worry he's got first-hand experience. But that whole subplot was so powerful.
There is a small cast of characters which allows us to really get to know them all. Billy is a wonderful main character, so very real and I was on his side throughout. The other characters - old friends and new - are also great and all work well with Billy, but for me, he steals every page. I utterly adored him.
If these two books of his are anything to go by, Neil has definitely cemented himself as one of my favourite authors, and I cannot wait for his future work. I just know they're going to be outstanding.
Neil depicts relationships and love so well. Not just romantic love - although there is that - but lost love, new love, long love, friendships, strangers to comrades. It's just beautiful. And obviously with love, often comes the other side of the coin - grief, hate, and anger, and he depicts them so well too.
His description of grief in this book is beautiful - as it was in Margaret Small. Grief is an incredibly hard thing to vocalise, even if you've gone through it, let alone put it on paper in a sensitive and honest way, but he's managed it. In the literal sense of a bereavement, but also of missing people and regrets, grief for a job, a home, a life, the past, a future.
He makes me long for a time I know nothing about, a time I never experienced for myself. It's more of a feeling I suppose than an actual tangible date. It's hard to describe without sounding a bit cuckoo, but hopefully if you read this book then you'll know what I mean.
It flashes between the 1980s in Northern Ireland, and then 2023/24. The 80s in Northern Ireland was a difficult time, and so is the present scenes, just in different ways, and it was fascinating to see the comparison between the two. I loved both sections, but I'd say I leaned further towards the present scenes. I can't pinpoint exactly why, but I found myself enjoying those chapters just a smidge more, but each section is fab.
It's not easy going, I'll say that. It has some powerful topics - the Troubles of Northern Ireland, missing people, abandonment, homophobia, job losses, struggles with sexuality, political tensions, abuse, money troubles, illness, death - it's a lot. But amongst all of that is hope and love and they shine brightly.
It's so touching, so moving, so beautiful. It also angered me. I know it's just a fictional book and it was a different time then, but the homophobia angers me so much. The idea that someone could abandon their child because they happen to love someone of the same sex, it just baffles me. Neil has done it so sensitively and so real that I worry he's got first-hand experience. But that whole subplot was so powerful.
There is a small cast of characters which allows us to really get to know them all. Billy is a wonderful main character, so very real and I was on his side throughout. The other characters - old friends and new - are also great and all work well with Billy, but for me, he steals every page. I utterly adored him.
If these two books of his are anything to go by, Neil has definitely cemented himself as one of my favourite authors, and I cannot wait for his future work. I just know they're going to be outstanding.
March 6, 2025
The Lost Past Of Billy McQueen is a triumph. Beautifully written story full of nostalgia and emotionally charged. It's that perfect combination of love and sorrow, grief and joy, the story of self-discovery and finiding your true self by finally accepting and embracing the truth of the past and self.
Neil Alexander is a master at creating fully fleshed out characters. It's not just Billy but other characters that truly come to life. Alexander creates characters that read so real, with their own mannerisms and wee quirks.
Emotional, bittersweet, heartbreaking at times, and sprinkled with brilliant lighthearted scenes, this book is an absolute beauty.
Highly recommended.
Neil Alexander is a master at creating fully fleshed out characters. It's not just Billy but other characters that truly come to life. Alexander creates characters that read so real, with their own mannerisms and wee quirks.
Emotional, bittersweet, heartbreaking at times, and sprinkled with brilliant lighthearted scenes, this book is an absolute beauty.
Highly recommended.
March 6, 2025
Wow. Another incredible book by Neil. Very nostalgic, very touching and gripping. Put me through a rollercoaster of emotions. 😭❤️
November 6, 2024
Moving and relatable
I absolutely loved this book. The story is so historically accurate with it's portrayal of life in the 80s and the troubles in Northern Ireland. How taboo and frowned upon it was to be gay back then.
I loved all the pop culture references and although it may come across stereotypical, it captures what it was like to be gay back then. I'm so pleased the world in which we live in is now more accepting but it still has a long way to go.
Religion plays a huge running theme throughout the story and I felt for Billy never having truly been able to accept himself as it was drumed into him being gay was shameful.
It is a story of acceptance, friendship and forgiveness. Yes there is the element of it being a mystery but it wasn't out of place. I did shed a tear but no spoilers.
I absolutely loved this book. The story is so historically accurate with it's portrayal of life in the 80s and the troubles in Northern Ireland. How taboo and frowned upon it was to be gay back then.
I loved all the pop culture references and although it may come across stereotypical, it captures what it was like to be gay back then. I'm so pleased the world in which we live in is now more accepting but it still has a long way to go.
Religion plays a huge running theme throughout the story and I felt for Billy never having truly been able to accept himself as it was drumed into him being gay was shameful.
It is a story of acceptance, friendship and forgiveness. Yes there is the element of it being a mystery but it wasn't out of place. I did shed a tear but no spoilers.
January 11, 2025
I loved The Vanishing of Margaret Small, but unfortunately this did not have the same effect on me. It is not a bad story, by any means, I think I perhaps compared the two books, to the detriment of this one.
November 10, 2024
This was such a lovely read and so nostalgic! The author even mentioned Madonna’s Like a Prayer album being sprayed with patchouli! I can’t tell you how many times I mention that to people and they look at me baffled lol If you know you know!
Billy was such a sweet character and everyone around him equally so - you couldn’t not like any of them.
Even though the essence of the story is sad you still feel strangely uplifted throughout. Fans of Matt Cain will enjoy this book.
Billy was such a sweet character and everyone around him equally so - you couldn’t not like any of them.
Even though the essence of the story is sad you still feel strangely uplifted throughout. Fans of Matt Cain will enjoy this book.
December 1, 2024
Dear Neil, I knew you’d make the shoes fit ❤️ congratulations!
An absolutely outstanding piece of work, I’ve spent the day, choking back sobs, laughing through tears and wandering back through decades of memories with Billy.
The Lost Past of Billy McQueen is utterly steeped in nostalgia, the music, the fashion, the hair the mix tapes. The rule of Thatcher, the homophobia, the death tomb threat of AIDS and section 28 all set to the backdrop of The Troubles.
I related so much to Billy. brought back to Northern Ireland following the news that his mother has taken ill. A mother who cast him aside and refused to speak to him for all these years. His return throws up the opportunity to look further into the disappearance of his boyfriend, and only real love Conor more than 30 years ago.
Flipping the story line between now and 1989 with such ease we go hand in hand back to their time together and to now with Billy determined to get to the truth of Conor, and what happened to him.
Along the way we pick up a whole host of side characters each of them written so fully formed and lifelike. I was definitely the Áine of the friendship group although maybe a bit more of an enigma as I was definitely know to sport Grolsch tops on my laces while worshipping at the alter of Nirvana. I loved Bev, I adored Willie. I can think of very few authors that bring humans to you that you immediately connect so well with.
I could feel the wrath of Mervin, I knew the wrath.
There’s a lot of fun packed into the pages but it’s also painful, really distressing and all the while captivating as we unravel the mystery, it’s a special talent to get that balance just right.
Heartbreaking, heartwarming, devastatingly relatable and familiar, with final chapters that had me ugly crying. I loved it!
All the stars 🌟 🌟🌟🌟🌟
#Jorecommends
The narration on the audiobook by Neil Alexander, Patrick Moy and Ruairi Conaghan was stunning 🎧
Have you met Margaret Small? If not, after you’ve spent an unforgettable time with Billy, go back and look for her, The Vanishing of Margaret Small, you’ll regret neither. 2 novels 2 absolute triumphs. I can’t wait to see what comes next.
An absolutely outstanding piece of work, I’ve spent the day, choking back sobs, laughing through tears and wandering back through decades of memories with Billy.
The Lost Past of Billy McQueen is utterly steeped in nostalgia, the music, the fashion, the hair the mix tapes. The rule of Thatcher, the homophobia, the death tomb threat of AIDS and section 28 all set to the backdrop of The Troubles.
I related so much to Billy. brought back to Northern Ireland following the news that his mother has taken ill. A mother who cast him aside and refused to speak to him for all these years. His return throws up the opportunity to look further into the disappearance of his boyfriend, and only real love Conor more than 30 years ago.
Flipping the story line between now and 1989 with such ease we go hand in hand back to their time together and to now with Billy determined to get to the truth of Conor, and what happened to him.
Along the way we pick up a whole host of side characters each of them written so fully formed and lifelike. I was definitely the Áine of the friendship group although maybe a bit more of an enigma as I was definitely know to sport Grolsch tops on my laces while worshipping at the alter of Nirvana. I loved Bev, I adored Willie. I can think of very few authors that bring humans to you that you immediately connect so well with.
I could feel the wrath of Mervin, I knew the wrath.
There’s a lot of fun packed into the pages but it’s also painful, really distressing and all the while captivating as we unravel the mystery, it’s a special talent to get that balance just right.
Heartbreaking, heartwarming, devastatingly relatable and familiar, with final chapters that had me ugly crying. I loved it!
All the stars 🌟 🌟🌟🌟🌟
#Jorecommends
The narration on the audiobook by Neil Alexander, Patrick Moy and Ruairi Conaghan was stunning 🎧
Have you met Margaret Small? If not, after you’ve spent an unforgettable time with Billy, go back and look for her, The Vanishing of Margaret Small, you’ll regret neither. 2 novels 2 absolute triumphs. I can’t wait to see what comes next.
November 2, 2024
Read in one sitting just loved it
Wow - this is a really beautiful heart warming story of lost love. The mending of broken hearts. Set in the 80’s with some hilarious descriptions of life in that time. With present day chapters to find Billy McQueens lost past.
This is a excellent read. First Neil Alexander book I have read, now to look for some more of his novels.
Wow - this is a really beautiful heart warming story of lost love. The mending of broken hearts. Set in the 80’s with some hilarious descriptions of life in that time. With present day chapters to find Billy McQueens lost past.
This is a excellent read. First Neil Alexander book I have read, now to look for some more of his novels.
March 4, 2025
I'm a fan of queer stories tackling going back home and dealing past hurts/wrongs. I'm not a fan of plot timelines flipping back forth between the past and present. Ended up FF'ding a lot of the past segments from midway onwards. A realistic if rather brutal ending.
April 9, 2025
This book is set mostly in Northern Ireland in the late 80s and follows past and present timelines where Billy McQueen is trying to find out what happened to his friend who went missing and hasn’t been found in 30 years.
The writing was excellent and felt natural and heartfelt, yet kept the mystery plot moving along right to the resolution at the end.
I related a lot to the Northern Irish references and slang and it cracked me up at so many moments while also sympathising with the main characters.
I’ll be recommending this one to everyone from now on!
The writing was excellent and felt natural and heartfelt, yet kept the mystery plot moving along right to the resolution at the end.
I related a lot to the Northern Irish references and slang and it cracked me up at so many moments while also sympathising with the main characters.
I’ll be recommending this one to everyone from now on!
November 18, 2025
I enjoyed this thought provoking book set in Northern Ireland during the 1980’s.
Although the setting is very different to The Vanishing of Margaret Small, the authors previous book, there are some similarities. Both highlight prejudice and intolerance in Britain during the mid 1900’s. Margaret Small “vanishing” because of her Special Needs and Billy McQueen hiding the fact he was a gay teenager in Northern Ireland at a time when it was only recently a criminal offence (homosexuality wasn’t decriminalised until 1982).
Another similarity is that the story is based loosely on real events. The author was brought up in Northern Ireland during the troubles and draws upon a number of actual incidents in his community.
Having said that the story itself is much more aggressive in its telling than the slow paced, gentle Margaret Small. There is conflict and anger under the surface, underpinned by religious intolerance (fire, brimstone, heaven and hell sort of stuff), and as such is faster paced.
The only negative I have is that the solution to the mystery that runs throughout the book, is rather neat and tidy and maybe a little rushed. Having said that the book is much more about getting across what life was like during the 1980’s in NI than it is about a missing person mystery.
Four and a half stars rounded up.
Although the setting is very different to The Vanishing of Margaret Small, the authors previous book, there are some similarities. Both highlight prejudice and intolerance in Britain during the mid 1900’s. Margaret Small “vanishing” because of her Special Needs and Billy McQueen hiding the fact he was a gay teenager in Northern Ireland at a time when it was only recently a criminal offence (homosexuality wasn’t decriminalised until 1982).
Another similarity is that the story is based loosely on real events. The author was brought up in Northern Ireland during the troubles and draws upon a number of actual incidents in his community.
Having said that the story itself is much more aggressive in its telling than the slow paced, gentle Margaret Small. There is conflict and anger under the surface, underpinned by religious intolerance (fire, brimstone, heaven and hell sort of stuff), and as such is faster paced.
The only negative I have is that the solution to the mystery that runs throughout the book, is rather neat and tidy and maybe a little rushed. Having said that the book is much more about getting across what life was like during the 1980’s in NI than it is about a missing person mystery.
Four and a half stars rounded up.
December 18, 2024
Listened to the audiobook. This was really lovely. The story of a man now fifty years old who gets a call from his mother’s neighbor when his mom has a stroke. He’s been estranged from his mom for thirty years, as she couldn’t accept that he was gay. He returns and finds a check from his mother for fifty grand alongside a mixtape from his teenage boyfriend who had disappeared when they were both seventeen. Billy reconnects with his childhood home and best friend and begins to look into what happened to Conor. Loved the authentic feel of childhood in the 1980’s, the depiction of everyday life in Northern Ireland during the troubles, the way it deals with homecoming and coming to terms with your past, the way the characters are not simple but have complex inner lives and relationships. The moving backward and forward in time was a little tough for me, especially in an audiobook, but it was handled relatively well. They had different narrators for the present and the past, which helped. I thought the narration was very good as well.
November 10, 2024
While browsing Amazon First Reads, this novel immediately stood out—the title, cover, and theme all beckoned me to read it. And, I tell you, tt didn't disappoint! I loved its blend of mystery, history, politics and romance.
The Lost Past of Billy McQueen unfolds across two timelines—2023 and the 1980s, primarily in Belfast - following the life of young Billy McQueen.
It poignantly explores how personal lives are shaped by the country's socio-political landscape, vividly - and expertly - portraying the heartbreakingly real struggles of a young gay man in Northern Ireland during The Troubles, marked by prejudice and the religious constraints imposed by both society and his family.
The narrative immerses you in a time when politics (Section 28 in the UK had a huge impact) and religion significantly affected lives. I felt deeply for Billy as he grappled with societal shame. The historical accuracy of life in the 1980s, especially regarding the stigma attached to being gay, is striking. Alexander crafts a nostalgic backdrop that authentically reflects the LGBTQ+ experience of that era - it comes with a full ’80s playlist woven into the narrative.
Neil Alexander excels at weaving a mystery within a lighthearted yet emotionally resonant storytelling style. Ultimately, The Lost Past of Billy McQueen delves into themes of acceptance, friendship, and forgiveness. Packed with humour, this bittersweet novel will likely have you reaching for your hankies, just like it did for me. #pudseyrecommends
The Lost Past of Billy McQueen unfolds across two timelines—2023 and the 1980s, primarily in Belfast - following the life of young Billy McQueen.
It poignantly explores how personal lives are shaped by the country's socio-political landscape, vividly - and expertly - portraying the heartbreakingly real struggles of a young gay man in Northern Ireland during The Troubles, marked by prejudice and the religious constraints imposed by both society and his family.
The narrative immerses you in a time when politics (Section 28 in the UK had a huge impact) and religion significantly affected lives. I felt deeply for Billy as he grappled with societal shame. The historical accuracy of life in the 1980s, especially regarding the stigma attached to being gay, is striking. Alexander crafts a nostalgic backdrop that authentically reflects the LGBTQ+ experience of that era - it comes with a full ’80s playlist woven into the narrative.
Neil Alexander excels at weaving a mystery within a lighthearted yet emotionally resonant storytelling style. Ultimately, The Lost Past of Billy McQueen delves into themes of acceptance, friendship, and forgiveness. Packed with humour, this bittersweet novel will likely have you reaching for your hankies, just like it did for me. #pudseyrecommends
November 24, 2024
Beautiful and compelling read
This is such a wonderful read - utterly captivating. Told through the narrative of Billy, this is a story of memories and mystery and set. Filled with vibrant and relatable characters, this has also been a joyous recall of wonderful memories including: mixer tapes, recording songs from the radio and grolsch bottle tops on shoes 😊 and the scent of YSL Jazz!
This is a story that will stay with a reader for a long time after the last fullstop. An absolute must of a read.
This is such a wonderful read - utterly captivating. Told through the narrative of Billy, this is a story of memories and mystery and set. Filled with vibrant and relatable characters, this has also been a joyous recall of wonderful memories including: mixer tapes, recording songs from the radio and grolsch bottle tops on shoes 😊 and the scent of YSL Jazz!
This is a story that will stay with a reader for a long time after the last fullstop. An absolute must of a read.
November 13, 2024
Yet another stunning piece of writing from this author. I defy anyone who picks this book up not to be moved by the story; the characters are wonderfully crafted, the solving of the mystery piece by piece paced to perfection.
January 2, 2026
It’s not often a book has me crying by Chapter 2, but Billy McQueen got under my skin and lodged himself deep into my heart from the get-go.
The Lost Past of Billy McQueen tackles a lot of sensitive and important subjects in such a special way - you are totally emotionally invested and feel SO much, but without the often uncomfortable detail that many other novels include to try and have that heart-wrenching effect. Despite the dreadful things that happen in this story, there is always an underlying feeling of hope.
I found that the characters are all perfectly developed according to their role in the book - Billy is an immediately endearing, stick-with-you MC, and we experience just enough from all the other more ‘supporting’ characters to get a good picture of them without getting bogged down with detail. I believe that Neil Alexander’s character creation is his superpower.
I do love me a dual timeline, especially one that pieces together and tells the story as perfectly as this one, revealing little details and big bombshells at just the right time.
The story itself has two sides; there’s the emotional journey we follow Billy on - returning to his hometown in Northern Ireland and working through the difficult memories and feelings attached to that, and then there’s the mystery side of it - what happened to Billy’s teenage love, Conor, who went missing back in 1989?
The Lost Past of Billy McQueen had a lot to live up to for me - its the second novel from Neil Alexander whose first novel, The Vanishing of Margaret Small, was my top read of 2023 and has become easily one of my favourite books of all time. Im pleased to report that it did not disappoint.
The Lost Past of Billy McQueen tackles a lot of sensitive and important subjects in such a special way - you are totally emotionally invested and feel SO much, but without the often uncomfortable detail that many other novels include to try and have that heart-wrenching effect. Despite the dreadful things that happen in this story, there is always an underlying feeling of hope.
I found that the characters are all perfectly developed according to their role in the book - Billy is an immediately endearing, stick-with-you MC, and we experience just enough from all the other more ‘supporting’ characters to get a good picture of them without getting bogged down with detail. I believe that Neil Alexander’s character creation is his superpower.
I do love me a dual timeline, especially one that pieces together and tells the story as perfectly as this one, revealing little details and big bombshells at just the right time.
The story itself has two sides; there’s the emotional journey we follow Billy on - returning to his hometown in Northern Ireland and working through the difficult memories and feelings attached to that, and then there’s the mystery side of it - what happened to Billy’s teenage love, Conor, who went missing back in 1989?
The Lost Past of Billy McQueen had a lot to live up to for me - its the second novel from Neil Alexander whose first novel, The Vanishing of Margaret Small, was my top read of 2023 and has become easily one of my favourite books of all time. Im pleased to report that it did not disappoint.
January 29, 2025
Book Review 📼
The Lost Past of Billy McQueen by Neil Alexander
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Last year I fell in love with Neil Alexander's "The Vanishing of Margaret Small", I featured it in my top books of 2024, I was interested to find out if Billy McQueen could find a place in my heart too ..Omg he so has!!
The book is STUNNING!!! The story is so completely heartwarming.
In the beginning of the book Billy is living in Margate, unemployed and unable to afford even a bag of chips... But a phone call brings him back to Northern Ireland and with the help of a delicious cast of characters including the kind Bev and the fun Big Gay Willy, Billy tries to find out what happened to the love of his life Connor who disappeared in 1989.
I grew up in the 80s and the references to music (even Stephan Dennis "Don't it make you feel good"🤣) and life from that era were so flipping ace! Check out these lines...
..𝑨𝒊n𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒘𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉, 𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝑾𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒔.. 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒇𝒇𝒐𝒏 𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒌𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒅𝒆𝒍 𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒖𝒊𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒍"
..𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒌𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒂𝒔 𝑩𝒊𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕
..𝑩𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒉 𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒓𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝑹𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕
So many delicate issues were handled so beautifully in this story. It's a book full of emotions and so much zest... I had many chuckles especially at the scene of Billy's 16th birthday bash.
There is no doubt this will be one of my top reads of
2025!
The Lost Past of Billy McQueen by Neil Alexander
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Last year I fell in love with Neil Alexander's "The Vanishing of Margaret Small", I featured it in my top books of 2024, I was interested to find out if Billy McQueen could find a place in my heart too ..Omg he so has!!
The book is STUNNING!!! The story is so completely heartwarming.
In the beginning of the book Billy is living in Margate, unemployed and unable to afford even a bag of chips... But a phone call brings him back to Northern Ireland and with the help of a delicious cast of characters including the kind Bev and the fun Big Gay Willy, Billy tries to find out what happened to the love of his life Connor who disappeared in 1989.
I grew up in the 80s and the references to music (even Stephan Dennis "Don't it make you feel good"🤣) and life from that era were so flipping ace! Check out these lines...
..𝑨𝒊n𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒘𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉, 𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝑾𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒔.. 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒇𝒇𝒐𝒏 𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒌𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒅𝒆𝒍 𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒖𝒊𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒍"
..𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒌𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒂𝒔 𝑩𝒊𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕
..𝑩𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒉 𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒓𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝑹𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕
So many delicate issues were handled so beautifully in this story. It's a book full of emotions and so much zest... I had many chuckles especially at the scene of Billy's 16th birthday bash.
There is no doubt this will be one of my top reads of
2025!
December 16, 2024
The Lost Past of Billy McQueen / Neil Alexander
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨
~ The final track on Side A is ‘Days’ by Kirsty MacColl. As I listen to the words I can’t help thinking about Conor and the days he gave me… ~
Earlier this year, I read Alexander’s debut ‘The Vanishing of Margaret Small’ for book club and really enjoyed it, so I was thrilled to have this to look forward to and it certainly did not disappoint. One of my favourites of the year - and collating the game in December.
This had so much to unpack, forbidden love, family troubles, a mystery to unpack, oh and the nostalgia. The pop music throughout was just so on point.
The real heart of this is Billy, whose first love Conor went missing over 30 years finds himself home in Belfast. It goes on a dual timeline of before and after. My heart broke with it all. Filled with hope. and then broke even more.
The climax is shocking in a good way. Didn’t go the route i thought it would.
All character in this shine, and I loved every second of it.
Audiobook Length: 8hrs, 58mins
Narrator: Neil Alexander, Patrick Moy, and Ruairi Conaghan.
🎧 Listened to in @spotifyuk 🎧
Read: 13/12/24 - 15/12/24
Release Date: 01/12/24
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨
~ The final track on Side A is ‘Days’ by Kirsty MacColl. As I listen to the words I can’t help thinking about Conor and the days he gave me… ~
Earlier this year, I read Alexander’s debut ‘The Vanishing of Margaret Small’ for book club and really enjoyed it, so I was thrilled to have this to look forward to and it certainly did not disappoint. One of my favourites of the year - and collating the game in December.
This had so much to unpack, forbidden love, family troubles, a mystery to unpack, oh and the nostalgia. The pop music throughout was just so on point.
The real heart of this is Billy, whose first love Conor went missing over 30 years finds himself home in Belfast. It goes on a dual timeline of before and after. My heart broke with it all. Filled with hope. and then broke even more.
The climax is shocking in a good way. Didn’t go the route i thought it would.
All character in this shine, and I loved every second of it.
Audiobook Length: 8hrs, 58mins
Narrator: Neil Alexander, Patrick Moy, and Ruairi Conaghan.
🎧 Listened to in @spotifyuk 🎧
Read: 13/12/24 - 15/12/24
Release Date: 01/12/24
May 13, 2025
"I think I love you, Billy McQueen".
A million stars and more! Oh my what an amazing book!
Page 1 I was hooked but the book jst got better the more I read!
So much nostalgia and memories brought back to me from my childhood, Neil has captured everything I remembered and loved while growing up in the 80s/90s:-
*Smash Hits Magazine/Just Seventeen
*Kylie & Jason/Erasure
*Now That's What I Call Music
*Ceefax/Woolworths
*Cilla Black
*Glenn Medeiros/Tina Turner
*Give me oil in my lamp
I am so sad to have finished this beautifully written book, I've laughed and cried and honestly just adored it.
Kindle read but purchasing the physical copy for definite.
I loved the whole premise of the book, I loved the characters, loved the setting and loved the mystery surrounding it.
My favourite book of 2025 so far for sure, Billy and Conor will stay with me forever 😭
Highly recommend 💕
A million stars and more! Oh my what an amazing book!
Page 1 I was hooked but the book jst got better the more I read!
So much nostalgia and memories brought back to me from my childhood, Neil has captured everything I remembered and loved while growing up in the 80s/90s:-
*Smash Hits Magazine/Just Seventeen
*Kylie & Jason/Erasure
*Now That's What I Call Music
*Ceefax/Woolworths
*Cilla Black
*Glenn Medeiros/Tina Turner
*Give me oil in my lamp
I am so sad to have finished this beautifully written book, I've laughed and cried and honestly just adored it.
Kindle read but purchasing the physical copy for definite.
I loved the whole premise of the book, I loved the characters, loved the setting and loved the mystery surrounding it.
My favourite book of 2025 so far for sure, Billy and Conor will stay with me forever 😭
Highly recommend 💕
January 26, 2025
I loved The Lost Past of Billy McQueen by Neil Alexander . After enjoying this author's 1st book, I was looking forward to this, and it didn't disappoint. A great trip down memory lane as the story swung between the present day and the 80s. Focusing on the issue of growing up as a gay man in Northern Ireland and the troubles both there and in attitude, this was an emotional yet very enjoyable book.
January 16, 2025
Well crafted story set against the NI troubles
This is the second book I've read by this author and both were very enjoyable.
I found this book both a well-written work of fiction but also a fascinating insight into life growing up in Northern Ireland during the troubles. The setting is perfect to heighten the struggles of the main character and build empathy with his situation.
This is the second book I've read by this author and both were very enjoyable.
I found this book both a well-written work of fiction but also a fascinating insight into life growing up in Northern Ireland during the troubles. The setting is perfect to heighten the struggles of the main character and build empathy with his situation.
April 7, 2025
Not as good as the first book, which was an ok read.
Like another reviewer, I started fast forwarding over the past sections so I could find out whodunnit, as these weren’t that interesting to me.
Like another reviewer, I started fast forwarding over the past sections so I could find out whodunnit, as these weren’t that interesting to me.
January 4, 2026
Billy McQueen was a young, gay, teenager, growing up in Northern Ireland during the troubles. In the present day, Billy returns to Northern Ireland to confront his past.
This is a really lovely book. It explores themes of loss, religion, friendship, love, and family relationships, all whilst demonstrating the difficulties of growing up in 80's NI, whilst also being gay. It is desperately sad in parts but is also hopeful.
This is a really lovely book. It explores themes of loss, religion, friendship, love, and family relationships, all whilst demonstrating the difficulties of growing up in 80's NI, whilst also being gay. It is desperately sad in parts but is also hopeful.
February 7, 2025
3.5 stars rounded up. This started off quite slow, and it took more than half the book for me to really become invested. I ended up enjoying it as the mystery of what happened to Connor kept me engaged, but it was a very slow-moving novel.
July 15, 2025
I loved getting to know Billy and his friends in this funny, nostalgic, heartbreaking story. The author did a great job of jumping between 1989 and the present day at the right moment so that it was never jarring, only ever giving context and moving the story along. I was excited to read to the end, but also didn’t want the story to finish and to say goodbye to the characters
May 16, 2025
A good read
This book was easy to read. It brought back a lot on memories from the 80s, which probably made it all the more enjoyable.
This book was easy to read. It brought back a lot on memories from the 80s, which probably made it all the more enjoyable.
February 10, 2025
Great easy read. Loved finding out what happened to Conor. But I find it hard to accept that Billy has no life in Margate worth mentioning from the last 30 years.. why did he never get in touch with Áine? Why did he have no friends reaching out? What kind of life was he living? Also why did he forgive his mother so easily, she was an absolute prick to him. The teenage year sections were brilliant and so fascinating and I could really picture it. But the adult timeline just felt so off. Why does it end with him "happily" surrounded by people he ignored for 30 years? C'mon now.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 26, 2024
The List Past of Billy McQueen
I could hear the voices clearly with their NI accents. The story was a bit pat, but nevertheless I enjoyed reading it and the final few chapters brought a year to the eye. It seems strange now to remember how bigoted society was such a short time ago.
I could hear the voices clearly with their NI accents. The story was a bit pat, but nevertheless I enjoyed reading it and the final few chapters brought a year to the eye. It seems strange now to remember how bigoted society was such a short time ago.
November 18, 2024
A mystery with an ‘80’s soundtrack’
We travel with Billy, a rather sad, lonely and broke 50 year old gay man, as he returns to his homeland of Ireland and tenuously rebuilds his relationships with his old friends and mother.
Flashing between present and past there is constant reference to the music and fashion of the times which is a great backdrop to the story. Amongst the homophobia and religious zeal of the 80’s there is the overriding mystery of the disappearance of Billy’s first true love, Conor, and the uplifting personal growth as Billy comes to terms with his true self.
Engaging and compelling, this was an enjoyable read with a tidy and satisfying end.
We travel with Billy, a rather sad, lonely and broke 50 year old gay man, as he returns to his homeland of Ireland and tenuously rebuilds his relationships with his old friends and mother.
Flashing between present and past there is constant reference to the music and fashion of the times which is a great backdrop to the story. Amongst the homophobia and religious zeal of the 80’s there is the overriding mystery of the disappearance of Billy’s first true love, Conor, and the uplifting personal growth as Billy comes to terms with his true self.
Engaging and compelling, this was an enjoyable read with a tidy and satisfying end.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 126 reviews