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French Toast: An American in Paris Celebrates the Maddening Mysteries of the French
Peter Mayle may have spent a year in Provence, but Harriet Welty Rochefort writes from the wise perspective of one who has spent more than twenty years living among the French. From a small town in Iowa to the City of Light, Harriet has done what so many of dream of one day doing-she picked up and moved to France. But it has not been twenty years of fun and games; Harriet has endured her share of cultural bumps, bruises, and psychic adjustments along the way.
In French Toast, she shares her hard-earned wisdom and does as much as one woman can to demystify the French. She makes sense of their ever-so-French thoughts on food, money, sex, love, marriage, manners, schools, style, and much more. She investigates such delicate matters as how to eat asparagus, how to approach Parisian women, how to speak to merchants, how to drive, and, most important, how to make a seven-course meal in a silk blouse without an apron! Harriet's first-person account offers both a helpful reality check and a lot of very funny moments.
In French Toast, she shares her hard-earned wisdom and does as much as one woman can to demystify the French. She makes sense of their ever-so-French thoughts on food, money, sex, love, marriage, manners, schools, style, and much more. She investigates such delicate matters as how to eat asparagus, how to approach Parisian women, how to speak to merchants, how to drive, and, most important, how to make a seven-course meal in a silk blouse without an apron! Harriet's first-person account offers both a helpful reality check and a lot of very funny moments.
128 pages, Hardcover
First published November 15, 1998
23 people are currently reading
551 people want to read
About the author
Harriet Welty Rochefort
8 books13 followersA French-American dual citizen, I live with my French husband, Philippe, in the trendy east of Paris . Our garden apartment boasts a tiny lawn just big enough to mow and a fig tree that has miraculously defied both Paris weather and pollution.
As a real Parisienne (I have now lived in France far longer than in the States), I love and regularly haunt cafés in all parts of Paris. Large portions of Final Transgression were written in the café shown in the picture of me above (Les Foudres, Place Martin Nadaud in the 20th arrondissement of Paris, not far from the famous Père Lachaise cemetery and our apartment).
For a comprehensive look at life in France, visit Philippe’s site: www.understandfrance.org.
And, of course, read my books!
As a real Parisienne (I have now lived in France far longer than in the States), I love and regularly haunt cafés in all parts of Paris. Large portions of Final Transgression were written in the café shown in the picture of me above (Les Foudres, Place Martin Nadaud in the 20th arrondissement of Paris, not far from the famous Père Lachaise cemetery and our apartment).
For a comprehensive look at life in France, visit Philippe’s site: www.understandfrance.org.
And, of course, read my books!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 111 reviews
November 21, 2007
I know this is not a sociological work but only a mere personal memoir but I don't find it particularly smart or insightful into French culture. (I don't find it witty either, as the cover suggests or as reviews have raved.) The author's views and interactions of the French seem only with the aristocrats and she never gives middle-class views on anything (which isn't her fault because her experiences deal with a lot of her French family); even so, it seems as if her views are skewed. She was shocked that if you were invited over for dinner at someone else's house, you had to not only ask the host family if it was okay if you bring someone but you had to give them the guest's name too. Isn't that just common courtesy? I RARELY ever complain about a book (I always find good things in almost every book), but it seems that she hates France more than she likes it, even when she claims "I know it seems as if I don't like France, but I do, really!!" Like I said, I know this isn't a sociological book but if you want to read a personal memoir where you actually get something - anything - from it, it's not this book.
March 3, 2016
I thought this was going to be a quick read but it turned out to be more detailed and absorbing than I expected. I didn't understand some of the references and didn't agree with some of the comparisons she made. Still, I learned a great deal about the French and how they think. If I had known about its existence before I went to France I would have read it before going. They always say don't talk loud, don't smile, make sure you get the correct change, always watch your back, but they don't tell you why. Now I know. I would recommend this book to anyone going to France for the first time or if you just want to learn more about our French friends.
November 27, 2017
I wanted to check this out because of the author’s Iowa connection and because I love books about France. This was, unfortunately, DATED, poorly written, and revealed very little about the author. Not candid and not very insightful. Just about boring. It might’ve blown some socks off when it came out, but it’s neither historically interesting nor relevant.
April 23, 2009
The book had some helpful insights into French psyche and culture, but it would have benefited from the pen of a good editor.
July 26, 2011
I am a french woman married to an american. I took the book at the library thinking It could be interesting...After reading all about , she defitiely should have stayed in IOWA. She despike french people and generalize her very rude and "grossier" heavy husband to be a french model type! NO WAY! And it seems that the friends are the same. She does an knock down to french because of her choices to marry this man...What a shame!
I am never angry at a book...but this one is a revenge and bitterness of a life she never liked...memory of an angry american...TOO BAD.
Mrs Harriet, I am sorry for your snobby experience but french people are much more than what you describe and it would be too easy and low to reverse the scenario. You definitively never found your place there and the comments you make are indirectly made to your spouse...So low to use a all population to describe your unhappiness.
I am never angry at a book...but this one is a revenge and bitterness of a life she never liked...memory of an angry american...TOO BAD.
Mrs Harriet, I am sorry for your snobby experience but french people are much more than what you describe and it would be too easy and low to reverse the scenario. You definitively never found your place there and the comments you make are indirectly made to your spouse...So low to use a all population to describe your unhappiness.
May 7, 2009
Like the author, I am a Midwestern girl with a passion for all most things French and thus expected to thoroughly enjoy this book. I found the narrative style far too campy, however, and was left to muse on whether madame really is that dense or is playing up her Iowan roots to score points with an American audience. It is ironically a prime example of the untoward familiarity the French are so suspicious of, something she talks discusses at length in the book.
Nearly all of the insights in this text are considered with more eloquence and humor in Talk to the Snail: Ten Commandments for Understanding the French by Stephen Clarke. I encourage anyone interested in reading French Toast to try M. Clarke's book instead.
Nearly all of the insights in this text are considered with more eloquence and humor in Talk to the Snail: Ten Commandments for Understanding the French by Stephen Clarke. I encourage anyone interested in reading French Toast to try M. Clarke's book instead.
February 28, 2018
About 25 pages in, I remembered why I hadn't finished this book the first time I started it. The author annoyed me, most especially with her views of Americans, of all things. She must have become more French than she thinks if she really believes that all Americans are armed and will shoot you for looking at us funny. And don't even get me started on her comments on feminism and political correctness.
I went ahead and finished the book this time. If it was a longer book, I probably wouldn't have bothered. I won't be re-reading it. Overall, I found it too narrow-minded for my taste. Maybe it wasn't intended to be that; I think the author was trying to be funny, but it just didn't work for me.
I went ahead and finished the book this time. If it was a longer book, I probably wouldn't have bothered. I won't be re-reading it. Overall, I found it too narrow-minded for my taste. Maybe it wasn't intended to be that; I think the author was trying to be funny, but it just didn't work for me.
September 12, 2018
It is more about Parisians than the French and sometimes she acknowledges this, but it was irritating at times. Think about it, someone goes to New York (or perhaps LA) and says ‘now I know what Americans are like’, sigh no.
I did find her discourse on the school system very interesting.
Also, when I went to a supermarket in Paris I experienced zero issues, is it a difference of twenty plus years, or did I just not go during peak hours?
Oh and her ‘interviews’ are just short conversations with her husband, not in-depth and often come off as childish.
It is more memoir, or from her point of view, rather than an overview of what France, or even just Paris, is like.
(3.5 stars)
I did find her discourse on the school system very interesting.
Also, when I went to a supermarket in Paris I experienced zero issues, is it a difference of twenty plus years, or did I just not go during peak hours?
Oh and her ‘interviews’ are just short conversations with her husband, not in-depth and often come off as childish.
It is more memoir, or from her point of view, rather than an overview of what France, or even just Paris, is like.
(3.5 stars)
August 17, 2016
I learned a few cultural differences that I wouldn't have otherwise known, but honestly, the writing is distractingly bad. The author repeats herself so often, sometimes within the same chapter, that I wondered if my audiobook accidentally rewound in my pocket. I feel as though she had a few main points, but needed to fill up a book, so ended up writing the same thesis over and over. Not worth your time.
September 28, 2015
A very cute book, but as an American woman engaged to a French man, I would honestly have to say a good portion of this might have been exaggerated at times. Not ALL French people are like this. It would be like saying all Americans are cowboys or that we are all like people from New York City. Overall, a cute story, but don't let it convince you that all French people are like this.
November 11, 2022
Less of a memoir and more of a "tell, not show" situation.
July 14, 2025
Full review and inspired dish amy be found at Novel Meals:
http://novelmeals.wordpress.com/2013/...
A fun read if you are a bit of a Francophile. This is a lighthearted easy read with insightful information on what’s it like to be an American married to a Parisian, living in Paris.
The author, Harriet Welty Rochefort, had an adventurous spirit since she was a child. An early influence was her step grandmother who was a professor of French at Grinell College in Iowa. Growing up in a farming community in SW Iowa was about as far from France or anything exotic that she could think of. After college she traveled extensively taking in the sights and different cultures of South America, Acapulco, the Canary Islands and finally landed in France.
One of the things I liked was her descriptive scenes and views on childrearing, education, food, manners, shopping expediations and the instances when her “Americanness” butted proverbial heads with the Parisian attitudes.
Several of the beginning chapters are devoted to food and wine…of course!
From the book:
“Catching on to French food was both easy and complicated….I have a hard time trying to think of what to serve for two full-scale four-to-five course meals a day, seven days a week. My French sister-in-law doesn’t seem to have this problem. In the family country house, where there are always at least ten people at the table, I watch with wonder as she casually composes each meal.
An example might be pate to start with, then magret de Canard (breast of duck) cut into little fillets. This is accompanied by fresh peas, new potatoes and followed by a green salad with delicious homemade vinaigrette and finally a big plate of wonderful cheese. Brie, Camenbert, a chevre, a blue and d’Auvergue. This is followed by ice cream, cake or fruit, depending on what went before.”
This is a Saturday noon meal. On Saturday night she makes another five course meal. Amazin
http://novelmeals.wordpress.com/2013/...
A fun read if you are a bit of a Francophile. This is a lighthearted easy read with insightful information on what’s it like to be an American married to a Parisian, living in Paris.
The author, Harriet Welty Rochefort, had an adventurous spirit since she was a child. An early influence was her step grandmother who was a professor of French at Grinell College in Iowa. Growing up in a farming community in SW Iowa was about as far from France or anything exotic that she could think of. After college she traveled extensively taking in the sights and different cultures of South America, Acapulco, the Canary Islands and finally landed in France.
One of the things I liked was her descriptive scenes and views on childrearing, education, food, manners, shopping expediations and the instances when her “Americanness” butted proverbial heads with the Parisian attitudes.
Several of the beginning chapters are devoted to food and wine…of course!
From the book:
“Catching on to French food was both easy and complicated….I have a hard time trying to think of what to serve for two full-scale four-to-five course meals a day, seven days a week. My French sister-in-law doesn’t seem to have this problem. In the family country house, where there are always at least ten people at the table, I watch with wonder as she casually composes each meal.
An example might be pate to start with, then magret de Canard (breast of duck) cut into little fillets. This is accompanied by fresh peas, new potatoes and followed by a green salad with delicious homemade vinaigrette and finally a big plate of wonderful cheese. Brie, Camenbert, a chevre, a blue and d’Auvergue. This is followed by ice cream, cake or fruit, depending on what went before.”
This is a Saturday noon meal. On Saturday night she makes another five course meal. Amazin
June 13, 2020
French Toast by Harriet W. Rochefort is an excellent read, whether you have only been to France a few times or none at all. In my opinion, I found French Toast to be very educational for the naive American. In a unique perspective, Rochefort, appeared to go into great depths of explanations of typically French and American perceptions of how customs and mannerisms are perceived by each other. Overall, I highly recommend French Toast, it may not be everyone's taste in literature, but it is well worth the read!
April 14, 2022
This is an interesting book and, frankly, I'm shocked at the poor reviews it got on Goodreads.
One reviewer says it's outdated, but it was published in 1997 so it's going to be a little old, but it's far from archaic.
Another reviewer took offense that the author was so down on the French, but this didn't make any sense to me. She married a Frenchman, had two kids, and lived in Paris for over twenty years when she wrote the book. She must be a LITTLE onboard with the French.
Also, I have a theory that the author isn't so much being harsh to the French but backwardly defending her own American ideals and the philosophies that she was raised with.
My logic for this theory comes from a story included about another woman who also married a Frenchman, was also married for twenty years, then separated for eight years before getting divorced.
This woman said that the entire time she felt like she was fighting for her identity as an American. Since getting divorced and getting an American boyfriend, she's calmed down quite a bit.
This is super interesting to me because I don't credit America for ANYTHING in regards to my personality. America didn't raise me - my parents did and they deserve all praise and critiques for my actions and beliefs until I became old enough to start forming my own but even THEN it was all with their upbringing as a base.
Am I the weird one here? Is this a result of growing up overseas where staunch patriotism isn't really a thing?
I'll admit, it felt very important to the adults around me, but not so much to me. When we moved to New Zealand, my mother insisted that my brother and I not wear uniforms or learn British spellings of words because that's not how things were done in America. When she found out there was going to be a dance with karaoke, she insisted I learn "Born in the USA," not realizing that the song was a harsh critique rather than a patriotic anthem.
This stuff drove me nuts. I was Luke who happened to be American, not Luke the American, if that makes sense. I just thought I brought more than my nationality to the table.
Also, perhaps this just comes from a place of security. I know I'm an American - is there a reason I have to defend this claim? Would getting loud and insisting I'm an American make me more American?
Still, the author circles back to this at the end with reasons why she will never consider herself French and it boils down to her not wanting to let go of core beliefs. And that's fine, but to me, the largest I would go in scale of influence is the state and even then, it's a bit of a reach.
Anyway, I think that her harshest critiques come from a place of defense and, even then, they were never particularly harsh. I think the REVIEWER was defensive.
Moving on!
Americans want to ask what you do, where you work, etc as small talk to build on where the French want nothing to do with that line of questioning. It's presented by the author as a way to avoid the embarrassment of having to admit your job is low-class.
I certainly won't argue with her. She knows way more than me in this regard.
But I prefer to think it's because the French want to be more than their job where in America your job is major part of who you are. The Germans have a saying: "Dienst ist Dienst und Schnaps ist Schanps."
It means work is work and drink is drink and the two should never meet.
The point is work isn't everything and there needs to be a line.
And maybe I'm wrong, but I like to think that the French, who can talk forever without knowing your name or where you work about anything in the world, are avoiding the topic of work on purpose.
Onward!
The French don't like unexpected visitors. Neither do I. It implies that you think I didn't have plans, obligations, or anything going on, all of which strikes me as rude. It actually drives me up the wall when people drop in because I know I'm a busy person either with plans and tasks or relaxing from completing those plans and tasks. I'm a big believer in expectation management and planning. I can plan for things and get myself in the zone mentally, but shifting from plans to drop everything and play host? I hate it.
Not to say I hate being a host, but I hate being an unexpected host.
Regarding education, the French teach their little kids how to write using fountain pens (or did in 1997) and the author was up in arms about it because of the difficulty. This was normally met with indifference by the teachers (who were not hired to listen to your complaints but rather teach the kids) but one said "we must teach them to confront difficulty... It isn't because a fountain pen is difficult that we should do away with the pen."
Which is pretty cool, if you ask me. Presenting a challenge from the start means showing them challenges can be conquered right from the start.
Finally, the most common complaint I hear about the French is that they are rude. This book makes no claims otherwise. Henry Miller said that "Frenchmen protects the vessel which contains the spirit," and the author elaborates that, unless you are a friend (which takes years to establish), you are a suspected enemy. I would bet this comes from the competitive nature taught in the school system.
You have to prove otherwise and doing so is a slow affair.
I think this would be my wife's favorite French trait, but the French are quick to let you know you are moving too fast in trying to get closer than you should. They use phrases such as:
"We didn't keep the pigs together."
Or, my favorite:
"Did I ask you if your grandmother rides a bike?"
And I swear to god if I ever decide to become a private individual, I will leave that line up on all social media accounts to bid you all adieu.
Long review to say that the book was not bad.
One reviewer says it's outdated, but it was published in 1997 so it's going to be a little old, but it's far from archaic.
Another reviewer took offense that the author was so down on the French, but this didn't make any sense to me. She married a Frenchman, had two kids, and lived in Paris for over twenty years when she wrote the book. She must be a LITTLE onboard with the French.
Also, I have a theory that the author isn't so much being harsh to the French but backwardly defending her own American ideals and the philosophies that she was raised with.
My logic for this theory comes from a story included about another woman who also married a Frenchman, was also married for twenty years, then separated for eight years before getting divorced.
This woman said that the entire time she felt like she was fighting for her identity as an American. Since getting divorced and getting an American boyfriend, she's calmed down quite a bit.
This is super interesting to me because I don't credit America for ANYTHING in regards to my personality. America didn't raise me - my parents did and they deserve all praise and critiques for my actions and beliefs until I became old enough to start forming my own but even THEN it was all with their upbringing as a base.
Am I the weird one here? Is this a result of growing up overseas where staunch patriotism isn't really a thing?
I'll admit, it felt very important to the adults around me, but not so much to me. When we moved to New Zealand, my mother insisted that my brother and I not wear uniforms or learn British spellings of words because that's not how things were done in America. When she found out there was going to be a dance with karaoke, she insisted I learn "Born in the USA," not realizing that the song was a harsh critique rather than a patriotic anthem.
This stuff drove me nuts. I was Luke who happened to be American, not Luke the American, if that makes sense. I just thought I brought more than my nationality to the table.
Also, perhaps this just comes from a place of security. I know I'm an American - is there a reason I have to defend this claim? Would getting loud and insisting I'm an American make me more American?
Still, the author circles back to this at the end with reasons why she will never consider herself French and it boils down to her not wanting to let go of core beliefs. And that's fine, but to me, the largest I would go in scale of influence is the state and even then, it's a bit of a reach.
Anyway, I think that her harshest critiques come from a place of defense and, even then, they were never particularly harsh. I think the REVIEWER was defensive.
Moving on!
Americans want to ask what you do, where you work, etc as small talk to build on where the French want nothing to do with that line of questioning. It's presented by the author as a way to avoid the embarrassment of having to admit your job is low-class.
I certainly won't argue with her. She knows way more than me in this regard.
But I prefer to think it's because the French want to be more than their job where in America your job is major part of who you are. The Germans have a saying: "Dienst ist Dienst und Schnaps ist Schanps."
It means work is work and drink is drink and the two should never meet.
The point is work isn't everything and there needs to be a line.
And maybe I'm wrong, but I like to think that the French, who can talk forever without knowing your name or where you work about anything in the world, are avoiding the topic of work on purpose.
Onward!
The French don't like unexpected visitors. Neither do I. It implies that you think I didn't have plans, obligations, or anything going on, all of which strikes me as rude. It actually drives me up the wall when people drop in because I know I'm a busy person either with plans and tasks or relaxing from completing those plans and tasks. I'm a big believer in expectation management and planning. I can plan for things and get myself in the zone mentally, but shifting from plans to drop everything and play host? I hate it.
Not to say I hate being a host, but I hate being an unexpected host.
Regarding education, the French teach their little kids how to write using fountain pens (or did in 1997) and the author was up in arms about it because of the difficulty. This was normally met with indifference by the teachers (who were not hired to listen to your complaints but rather teach the kids) but one said "we must teach them to confront difficulty... It isn't because a fountain pen is difficult that we should do away with the pen."
Which is pretty cool, if you ask me. Presenting a challenge from the start means showing them challenges can be conquered right from the start.
Finally, the most common complaint I hear about the French is that they are rude. This book makes no claims otherwise. Henry Miller said that "Frenchmen protects the vessel which contains the spirit," and the author elaborates that, unless you are a friend (which takes years to establish), you are a suspected enemy. I would bet this comes from the competitive nature taught in the school system.
You have to prove otherwise and doing so is a slow affair.
I think this would be my wife's favorite French trait, but the French are quick to let you know you are moving too fast in trying to get closer than you should. They use phrases such as:
"We didn't keep the pigs together."
Or, my favorite:
"Did I ask you if your grandmother rides a bike?"
And I swear to god if I ever decide to become a private individual, I will leave that line up on all social media accounts to bid you all adieu.
Long review to say that the book was not bad.
October 20, 2008
mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. this book was this woman who grew up in the midwest united states telling about her life now that she's grown up and married a parisian. it's a lot of "americans are like THIS but the french are like THIS." maybe it was a bad narrator, but i just didn't care about the author or her story.
January 28, 2011
Reading this book is like sitting down with a friend and asking her what she thinks of living in France as an American. It is highly anecdotal. It isn't ground-breaking literature but it is a fun cultural observation from a very pleasant woman.
March 15, 2023
Reading this book is sort of like being stuck at a baby shower with a lady 20 years older than you who is going on an on about her time in France and is just interesting enough to keep you listening politely. But she does tend to repeat herself, and she’s not as witty as she thinks she is. The part I found most interesting is the chapter on French women, because I never understood how ‘American’ it was to laugh loudly, reveal personal information in conversation, and avoid confrontational topics. Honestly it made living in France lose a ton of appeal, but I appreciate the heads up so I never make the mistake of living there… I would NOT fit in. I also found the chapter on education interesting (since I’m a teacher), and I didn’t realize how different our No-child-left-behind approach is in America, nor our emphasis on sports and extracurriculars, which aren’t really bothered with in France.
January 14, 2019
A quick read offering a personal perspective. Nice use of examples. Author admits that her perspective is both specific to her situation and general in some cases. She acknowledges the limitations of her perspective just as you would not apply the experience of a Frenchman living in NYC to one living in a small midwestern town.
February 28, 2020
This was sure a fun, illuminating read. My husband and I both love France--from Paris north to Normandy and from Paris south to the Cote de Azure. Many of the discussion points in "French Toast" were a surprise to me; others, certainly validate our experiences in France.
I look forward to reading her other book, "French Fried".
I look forward to reading her other book, "French Fried".
July 30, 2021
The book was an entertaining read, which required more thought than a light read, but not so much so that you couldn't put it down to come back to later if needed. While I had expected it to be a bit more educational and transferable to any person, it was much more of a personal memoir. In reading this book, I began referring to it as "a step-by-step of how to marry a frenchman".
May 15, 2022
I was relieved to see that other people disliked thus book as much as I did. It's really poorly written and her attempts at humor are equally poor. She clearly has zero understanding of French people and instead comes off herself as an "ugly American." Pass on this book - and instead read one of Mark Greenside's books instead.
January 31, 2017
It's a cute book for people who aren't completely exposed to France. As someone who has already traveled there and has learned much about the culture, it wasn't a whole lot of new information. I liked the commentary from the husband.
October 6, 2020
Super cute and easy read. I kind of wish it was more narrative--I would have loved to have heard more of Harriet's origins in France, how she met her husband, and how she navigated through her first years in France.
December 6, 2021
I could not finish this book. I made it through the first 25 pages and I gave up. The book was really depressing to me, I didn't find it funny. It had so many subtle insults either to the author herself, America or France.
July 31, 2017
Very thoughtful observations from a woman from Iowa married to a Frenchman and the mother to two half-French sons after twenty years in France.
September 5, 2018
This book is very funny and somewhat informative.
Read
January 7, 2020Fun to read. For those interested in French culture from an American point of view.
Read
February 21, 2020French cultural essays from a woman who grew up in Shenandoah, IA. Very spot on! Loved the cultural comparisons.
May 13, 2021
great if you like cliches, generalisations, and lazy thinking in general.
August 13, 2021
Interesting perspective of life in France as an ex-pat...
Displaying 1 - 30 of 111 reviews