What do you think?
Rate this book
Rape Is Rape: How Denial, Distortion, and Victim Blaming Are Fueling a Hidden Acquaintance Rape Crisis
A call to action to protect the human rights of women and girls, this exposé reveals how interest groups deny the seriousness of rape to further their political agendas. Through firsthand interviews with victims; medical and judicial records; social media; and statistics from police, the FBI, and government agencies, this analysis explains the tactics used by these groups. The personal stories of young rape victims demonstrate how assaults on their credibility, buttressed by claims of low prevalence, prevent many from holding their rapists accountable, enabling them to rape others with impunity. A resources section is also included for those seeking help, advice, or hoping to become involved in the struggle.
274 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 1, 2013
15 people are currently reading
1610 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
January 19, 2013
"Vulnerability scares us, very deeply. To feel your body being forcibly penetrated by another human being is an experience of such utter, terrifying vulnerability and helplessness that most people recoil from the thought. To overcome that resistance, to actually identify with the experience and the person who suffers it, is an act of profound empathy, and considerable courage. Most people, frankly, are not up to the challenge; certainly not without a lot of support..."
~ David Lisak
Rape is Rape successfully shines the light on widespread, harmful misconceptions about rape using detailed high profile cases of the likes of Julian Assange and Dominique Strauss-Kahn, emotive real-life victim accounts, and analysing the opinions and rulings of influential people.
Defining rape itself is the first major problem. Many have strict and narrow opinions on its meaning. Just checking the most widely used online dictionaries proves how restrictive, stereotypical and gendered official definitions are. Strangely, Wikipedia has one of the best:
For more inclusive, realistic and acceptable definitions you have to look at criminal legislation. UK and US law cover different types of rape and the issue of consent.
The spreading of misinformation and the resulting confusion hurts victims because they're less likely to report a rape if they (a) are ignorant of the legal definition of rape and sexual assault, (b) ignorant of how to report it, (c) believe they lack proof, (d) are embarrassed and don't want anyone to know, (e) fear bad treatment by the police, (f) think the accused will be able to retaliate for reporting them, (g) don't see high profile rapists convicted, believing they'll have less chance of justice.
A CDC study concluded more than 1 in 10 American women aged 18+ are raped, 620,000 in the last year. In the UK, 1 in 20 women aged 16+ is raped (1 in 5 including other sexual offences), averaging 85,000 per year for women and 12,000 for men. University campus rape appears the most prevalent type no matter where you live. Disturbingly, one study on marital rape showed 5% of women 'said their partner has forced their children to participate in the rape, and 18% reported their children has witnessed an incident of marital rape at least once.'
Rape is the exertion of power and control to humiliate, possessively take ownership of the victim's body and treating it as less than worthless. 'Society's responses to rape further the rapists' humiliation of victims.'
Rape deniers attack statistics and studies, like that of Mary Koss, for using 'overbroad definitions' for what they perceive as 'bad sex' when those studies follow the legal definition. In effect, they're challenging the law itself. Feminists caught minimising the importance of rape, Raphael posits, are fearful of the reversal of women's liberation, sexual and otherwise, yet by not acknowledging the seriousness of this crime they're not supporting the majority of its victims: women, hurting the very people they wish to empower.
Perhaps those that deny and minimise rape should put themselves in a victim's shoes and look to feel the empathy Lisak speaks of in the opening paragraph of my review. After reading the personal accounts of victims' experiences of the rape and the journey afterwards, you can't fail to sympathise and gain some understanding of post-traumatic stress and problems with the institutional processes and practices victims encounter when reporting their attack, and the changes required to prevent further traumatization.
80-90% of victims know their attacker, quashing the notion of the much hyped and stereotyped 'stranger danger'. We strongly believe the people we trust the most aren't monsters and vehemently deny what very well may be the truth. Accepting we're not at fault for not knowing about the accused's behaviour and that being connected to them does not necessarily reflect badly on the type of person you are, are the first steps in working past the disbelief and seeking the facts.
The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women (my review) is referenced several times (which prompted me to pause my reading of Rape Is Rape to read that before continuing), Raphael whole-heartedly agreeing with Valenti's views on this subject. Anyone can be raped, not just women, and not just virgins. Both see the "All men are rapists" line is unnecessarily inflammatory, but it's possible the rapists believe this. Everyone has the potential to rape, that doesn't make everyone a rapist. Using men's testosterone-infused, cliched high sex drives as an excuse for rape belittles men and assumes they possess no self-control and don't know right from wrong.
In the same breath as alleviating the accused (i.e. men) of guilt, the victims (i.e. women) are blamed, and yet 'forgetting to set the antiburglary alarm or getting robbed despite "neighborhood watch" does not exculpate the thieves.' If we're not criticising them for their supposedly risky behaviour ('she was asking for it' responses for: the way the victim was dressed, being drunk, walking home alone at night, etc. part of the victim blamer's philosophy), we're subjecting them to polygraphs (unreliable as stress increases the chances of failing), scrutinise their sexual histories (slut shaming), carry out (sometimes gratuitous) rape exams with rape kits that are never analysed despite taking four hours in which one victim describes it as follows:
Then having those colour photos of their genitals passed around jurors and shown on television screens to the entire court. A judge threatening an amnesiac rape victim with jail for contempt of court for failing to agree to watch the footage of her own rape so she could be questioned about it, is evidence of harrassment and an attempt to humiliate the victim. 'That members of the community would blame an eleven-year-old child for her own rape shows the extent to which victim blaming has become accepted in our culture.' I completely understand why more don't come forward or decide to recant their statements when they're seemingly punished for being violated by a rapist.
If victims aren't blamed then their met with indifference or they're accused of lying, vindictively making false rape claims to punish a man. Women have been demonsied as seducers and liars since Eve was perceived to have corrupted Adam.
The media often publish more column inches and attribute more importance to false rape claims, sowing the seeds of doubt in the minds of readers when presented with accusations, driving 'out compassion for real victims.' The media also tend to use euphemisms for rape rather than calling a spade a spade, deliberately confusing the issue, for example 'Paedophile, 25, had sex with girl, 12' should be 'Paedophile, 25, raped girl, 12.'
Police are often criticised for failing to report accurate figures of rape, hiding cases or dismissing them as false. 'Institutions such as churches, schools and colleges, social organizations, and the military, among others, provide a steady source of victims for predators.' By ignoring or supporting the perpetrators, these institutions are validating and encouraging this behaviour by facilitating its continuance. They might want to keep in mind that failure to report the crime is illegal in some places. Failure to charge a perpetrator by a prosecutor for what they perceive to be a low chance of conviction or their own prejudices, denies victims a chance of justice and puts the larger community at risk by allowing a predator to prey on more individuals. Alternatively, if criminal prosecution doesn't work, civil litigation may scare a rapist enough to prevent further rapes.
One victim account says she wished she could relive her rape so she could 'do it right' and fight back more or that she'd been killed so people would believe her. Not fighting or stopping resistance does not equal consent; it's another survival instinct -less chance of serious injury or death. Unfortunately, "society doesn't believe the woman until she takes a step to harm herself."
One study on the vulnerabilities of rape victims including: aged under 18, mental health issue(s), currently/previously intimate with offender, had consumed alcohol or drugs prior to the attack. 87% of victims had at least one vulnerability. This proves opportunism -rapists calculating how likely they are to succeed in raping their victim, and getting away with it. Of all of the factors noted, consuming alcohol or drugs are the only things a victim can control.
Criticisms
Ideally, I wished the following had been included:
✻ Male rape. Apart from the brief mentions of a rape victim's partner who'd been raped in the military, of prison rape, and one CDC study of child victims, male rape isn't discussed. Perhaps this is due to few studies on male rape and the low number of reported cases to the police and in the media. However, I don't see why the reasons for this and societal perceptions of male victims couldn't be examined. Why not look at prison rape? Prisoner-on-prisoner ('don't drop the soap') and guard-on-prisoner which is more prevalent than authorities like to admit.
✻ The Sexsomnia Defence. In the past five years, the use of the sexsomnia defence has become more common, yet it's not discussed.
✻ Children raping children . An intricate dynamic I'd have liked the author to have addressed. It's shocking how young some of the aggressors are, and their victims.
✻ Rape victims raped again. I believe rape victims are more likely than any other group to be raped again because the first rape compounded the vulnerabilities they original had beforehand, making them even easier prey. And again, this isn't discussed.
✻ Rape in entertainment. Raphael doesn't explore positive and negative depictions of rape in TV (e.g. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit), movies, and books. Nor is rape fantasy, a highly controversial topic which I myself recently came to terms with after reading two Feministing articles criticising Katie Roiphe's views on female fantasies of sexual submission.
While I wish a little more was included, what's in these pages is pure gold for unveiling the truth and prevalence of rape in the West and suggesting improvements to the way we perceive and report rape. It's imperative and supremely relevant that we pursue justice for victims and protect our more vulnerable members of society, and this is supported by recent global events.
My request for the ARC was accepted on the day a 23-year old gang rape victim died of her injuries in Delhi. Six men were arrested for raping and murdering her on a moving bus. Soutik Biswas responds with an article on How India Treats its Women, showing why it's the 'worst country in which to be a woman.' Sympathy is scarce for the accused after it was alleged "They were beaten most bruatally. They were forced to drink urine and from the toilet. They were sexually assaulted with sticks in their backside. Whatever statements they made were made under duress and worthless." While this has sparked anger at the victim blaming, Feminist Spring protests have been male dominated ironically due to the risk of rape, which was followed by another rape on an Indian bus and an Indian school. This prompted proposals for change.
Meanwhile in the UK, reports from Metropolitan Police and NSPCC and the Crown Prosecution Service were released on the prolific paedophile and celebrity charity fundraiser Jimmy Savile. Over six decades from 1955 he sexually assaulted more than 450 victims as young as 8 years old , male and female from all over the UK, and remained free due to institutional failings and left to 'groom the nation', and died before his crimes were made public.
*One Billion Rising is an annual global campaign for the one billion beaten and raped to protest on February 14.
**Surviving in Numbers shows the effect of rape into perspective.
My thanks to NetGalley and Chicago Review Press for providing me with the eARC in return for an honest review.
Rape is Rape successfully shines the light on widespread, harmful misconceptions about rape using detailed high profile cases of the likes of Julian Assange and Dominique Strauss-Kahn, emotive real-life victim accounts, and analysing the opinions and rulings of influential people.
Defining rape itself is the first major problem. Many have strict and narrow opinions on its meaning. Just checking the most widely used online dictionaries proves how restrictive, stereotypical and gendered official definitions are. Strangely, Wikipedia has one of the best:
'Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority or with a person who is incapable of valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, or below the legal age of consent.'
For more inclusive, realistic and acceptable definitions you have to look at criminal legislation. UK and US law cover different types of rape and the issue of consent.
The spreading of misinformation and the resulting confusion hurts victims because they're less likely to report a rape if they (a) are ignorant of the legal definition of rape and sexual assault, (b) ignorant of how to report it, (c) believe they lack proof, (d) are embarrassed and don't want anyone to know, (e) fear bad treatment by the police, (f) think the accused will be able to retaliate for reporting them, (g) don't see high profile rapists convicted, believing they'll have less chance of justice.
A CDC study concluded more than 1 in 10 American women aged 18+ are raped, 620,000 in the last year. In the UK, 1 in 20 women aged 16+ is raped (1 in 5 including other sexual offences), averaging 85,000 per year for women and 12,000 for men. University campus rape appears the most prevalent type no matter where you live. Disturbingly, one study on marital rape showed 5% of women 'said their partner has forced their children to participate in the rape, and 18% reported their children has witnessed an incident of marital rape at least once.'
"Rape is not about sex at all. This isn't just bad sex ... How could anyone think that? It isn't even sex. Sex is consensual and rape is not. This isn't sex. Is it sex for the rapist? I don't think rapists know sex as sex. This is using sex as a weapon."
Rape is the exertion of power and control to humiliate, possessively take ownership of the victim's body and treating it as less than worthless. 'Society's responses to rape further the rapists' humiliation of victims.'
Rape deniers attack statistics and studies, like that of Mary Koss, for using 'overbroad definitions' for what they perceive as 'bad sex' when those studies follow the legal definition. In effect, they're challenging the law itself. Feminists caught minimising the importance of rape, Raphael posits, are fearful of the reversal of women's liberation, sexual and otherwise, yet by not acknowledging the seriousness of this crime they're not supporting the majority of its victims: women, hurting the very people they wish to empower.
'Denying rape makes society unsafe for women and allows predators to go free.'
Perhaps those that deny and minimise rape should put themselves in a victim's shoes and look to feel the empathy Lisak speaks of in the opening paragraph of my review. After reading the personal accounts of victims' experiences of the rape and the journey afterwards, you can't fail to sympathise and gain some understanding of post-traumatic stress and problems with the institutional processes and practices victims encounter when reporting their attack, and the changes required to prevent further traumatization.
80-90% of victims know their attacker, quashing the notion of the much hyped and stereotyped 'stranger danger'. We strongly believe the people we trust the most aren't monsters and vehemently deny what very well may be the truth. Accepting we're not at fault for not knowing about the accused's behaviour and that being connected to them does not necessarily reflect badly on the type of person you are, are the first steps in working past the disbelief and seeking the facts.
The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women (my review) is referenced several times (which prompted me to pause my reading of Rape Is Rape to read that before continuing), Raphael whole-heartedly agreeing with Valenti's views on this subject. Anyone can be raped, not just women, and not just virgins. Both see the "All men are rapists" line is unnecessarily inflammatory, but it's possible the rapists believe this. Everyone has the potential to rape, that doesn't make everyone a rapist. Using men's testosterone-infused, cliched high sex drives as an excuse for rape belittles men and assumes they possess no self-control and don't know right from wrong.
In the same breath as alleviating the accused (i.e. men) of guilt, the victims (i.e. women) are blamed, and yet 'forgetting to set the antiburglary alarm or getting robbed despite "neighborhood watch" does not exculpate the thieves.' If we're not criticising them for their supposedly risky behaviour ('she was asking for it' responses for: the way the victim was dressed, being drunk, walking home alone at night, etc. part of the victim blamer's philosophy), we're subjecting them to polygraphs (unreliable as stress increases the chances of failing), scrutinise their sexual histories (slut shaming), carry out (sometimes gratuitous) rape exams with rape kits that are never analysed despite taking four hours in which one victim describes it as follows:
"After undressing in front of strangers, I was poked, prodded, scraped, swabbed, combed and photographed. I wouldn't wish it one anyone."
Then having those colour photos of their genitals passed around jurors and shown on television screens to the entire court. A judge threatening an amnesiac rape victim with jail for contempt of court for failing to agree to watch the footage of her own rape so she could be questioned about it, is evidence of harrassment and an attempt to humiliate the victim. 'That members of the community would blame an eleven-year-old child for her own rape shows the extent to which victim blaming has become accepted in our culture.' I completely understand why more don't come forward or decide to recant their statements when they're seemingly punished for being violated by a rapist.
If victims aren't blamed then their met with indifference or they're accused of lying, vindictively making false rape claims to punish a man. Women have been demonsied as seducers and liars since Eve was perceived to have corrupted Adam.
The media often publish more column inches and attribute more importance to false rape claims, sowing the seeds of doubt in the minds of readers when presented with accusations, driving 'out compassion for real victims.' The media also tend to use euphemisms for rape rather than calling a spade a spade, deliberately confusing the issue, for example 'Paedophile, 25, had sex with girl, 12' should be 'Paedophile, 25, raped girl, 12.'
'A rape report cannot be considered false if the person describing the crime is unable to provide corroboration that it happened or if investigators decide it did not occur based on their own views of that person's credibility. According to the FBI's Uniform Crime Reports Handbook, this is an inconclusive or unsubstantiated report and not a false one.'
Police are often criticised for failing to report accurate figures of rape, hiding cases or dismissing them as false. 'Institutions such as churches, schools and colleges, social organizations, and the military, among others, provide a steady source of victims for predators.' By ignoring or supporting the perpetrators, these institutions are validating and encouraging this behaviour by facilitating its continuance. They might want to keep in mind that failure to report the crime is illegal in some places. Failure to charge a perpetrator by a prosecutor for what they perceive to be a low chance of conviction or their own prejudices, denies victims a chance of justice and puts the larger community at risk by allowing a predator to prey on more individuals. Alternatively, if criminal prosecution doesn't work, civil litigation may scare a rapist enough to prevent further rapes.
"If you don't fight tooth and nail and be on the verge of death, it is simply unbelievable. Compare that with someone who goes to the police and says someone she met in a bar broke into her house to steal something. Under no circumstances would anyone question a victim who makes that type of report."
One victim account says she wished she could relive her rape so she could 'do it right' and fight back more or that she'd been killed so people would believe her. Not fighting or stopping resistance does not equal consent; it's another survival instinct -less chance of serious injury or death. Unfortunately, "society doesn't believe the woman until she takes a step to harm herself."
One study on the vulnerabilities of rape victims including: aged under 18, mental health issue(s), currently/previously intimate with offender, had consumed alcohol or drugs prior to the attack. 87% of victims had at least one vulnerability. This proves opportunism -rapists calculating how likely they are to succeed in raping their victim, and getting away with it. Of all of the factors noted, consuming alcohol or drugs are the only things a victim can control.
Criticisms
Ideally, I wished the following had been included:
✻ Male rape. Apart from the brief mentions of a rape victim's partner who'd been raped in the military, of prison rape, and one CDC study of child victims, male rape isn't discussed. Perhaps this is due to few studies on male rape and the low number of reported cases to the police and in the media. However, I don't see why the reasons for this and societal perceptions of male victims couldn't be examined. Why not look at prison rape? Prisoner-on-prisoner ('don't drop the soap') and guard-on-prisoner which is more prevalent than authorities like to admit.
✻ The Sexsomnia Defence. In the past five years, the use of the sexsomnia defence has become more common, yet it's not discussed.
✻ Children raping children . An intricate dynamic I'd have liked the author to have addressed. It's shocking how young some of the aggressors are, and their victims.
✻ Rape victims raped again. I believe rape victims are more likely than any other group to be raped again because the first rape compounded the vulnerabilities they original had beforehand, making them even easier prey. And again, this isn't discussed.
✻ Rape in entertainment. Raphael doesn't explore positive and negative depictions of rape in TV (e.g. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit), movies, and books. Nor is rape fantasy, a highly controversial topic which I myself recently came to terms with after reading two Feministing articles criticising Katie Roiphe's views on female fantasies of sexual submission.
While I wish a little more was included, what's in these pages is pure gold for unveiling the truth and prevalence of rape in the West and suggesting improvements to the way we perceive and report rape. It's imperative and supremely relevant that we pursue justice for victims and protect our more vulnerable members of society, and this is supported by recent global events.
My request for the ARC was accepted on the day a 23-year old gang rape victim died of her injuries in Delhi. Six men were arrested for raping and murdering her on a moving bus. Soutik Biswas responds with an article on How India Treats its Women, showing why it's the 'worst country in which to be a woman.' Sympathy is scarce for the accused after it was alleged "They were beaten most bruatally. They were forced to drink urine and from the toilet. They were sexually assaulted with sticks in their backside. Whatever statements they made were made under duress and worthless." While this has sparked anger at the victim blaming, Feminist Spring protests have been male dominated ironically due to the risk of rape, which was followed by another rape on an Indian bus and an Indian school. This prompted proposals for change.
Meanwhile in the UK, reports from Metropolitan Police and NSPCC and the Crown Prosecution Service were released on the prolific paedophile and celebrity charity fundraiser Jimmy Savile. Over six decades from 1955 he sexually assaulted more than 450 victims as young as 8 years old , male and female from all over the UK, and remained free due to institutional failings and left to 'groom the nation', and died before his crimes were made public.
'Savile got away with it because we let him, and he knew we would let him. He knew his victims would be trapped between horror and a twisted sense of privilege at being hit on by someone famous. He conferred chocolates on favoured victims to normalise his abuse, and he made resistance appear abnormal. If it came to his word against some starstruck minor's, he knew who would be believed. When, latterly, standards began to change, he counter-attacked with the threat of libel lawyers.' (Source)
*One Billion Rising is an annual global campaign for the one billion beaten and raped to protest on February 14.
**Surviving in Numbers shows the effect of rape into perspective.
My thanks to NetGalley and Chicago Review Press for providing me with the eARC in return for an honest review.
May 7, 2015
Disclaimer: ARC read via Netgalley.
Do you remember hearing about Laura Logan? She was the reporter who was sexually assaulted in Egypt during the protests. It was a gang assaulted and she was rescued, reportedly, by a group of Egyptian women who rushed the men. Instead of expressing sympathy or more appropriate outrage at what happened, several bloggers, newscasters, and op-ed writers attacked Logan – in particular after news outlets posted a picture of her taken when she attended a dinner. The picture showed her in a revealing dress. She looked beautiful. Apparently, some MALE reporters thought she was wearing said dress when she was reporting and, therefore, she asked for it. Or she asked for it because she wanted to upstage Anderson Cooper who got punched. When I heard about that reaction, I didn’t know where to start. Basically, (1) she wasn’t wearing the dress (and how come male reporters are never shown the same way) (2) even if she was, she didn’t ask for it (3) how come when male reporters get kidnapped, shot, or hurt, no commenter ever mentions the belief that perhaps they should have put their family first.
Or more recently, the football player who murdered his girlfriend and then killed himself, did you hear about him? You must have because of the sports bigwigs speaking out against guns. Strangely, they didn’t feel compelled to speak against the culture that allowed a man who had been accused of abusing women several times. Now, I might agree about the gun control issue, but can’t we least talk about the fact that if you are a man with talent it’s okay to abuse women as long as you don’t curse out your boss?
It was ideal, or good timing, for me to read this book after reading The Morning After by Kathie Rophie for Jody Raphael offers a devastating critique of the attacks that Rophie and others made on date rape statistics. The main focus of the book, however, is the fact that the media and society tend not to look at date rape accusations in the same way as stranger rape (hence the title of the book). The book is divided into chapters which including looking at recent rape cases – Logan, Strauss-Kahn - and chapters that relate personal stories of women who were raped by men that they knew. The personal stories seem to have a twofold purpose – one to humanize the statistics or general examples that are looked at in the other chapters; two to challenge the idea of “grey area of rape” that many people seem to think exists.
Raphael use of recent examples is immensely powerful because the average reader can look up with ease the stories and news reports that she mentions (she even mentions the silly politicians and their idea of anti-rape magic hormones). Even if you had only heard of the cases in passing, a quick internet search will not only give you details about the cases but reporters written in such a way that re-enforce Raphael’s thesis - That we don’t take “date” or “acquaintance” rape seriously. I use quotes because I agree with the title – rape is rape.
A just claim, perhaps, might be that Raphael does not take as a close look at false accusations of rape as some people would like (but she does deal with the Duke Lacrosse players in depth). I would imagine that finding such statistics might be hard. Does a not-guilty finding mean that the accusation was false? Considering some of the examples cited in this book, I have to go with a definite no. It is also true that the focus is one male attackers and female victims (though there is mention of man who was raped). Considering that most experts see rape as unreported and men underreport rape more than women, this is hardly surprising. Also considering that amount of stereotypes that male rape victim will be faced with, such cases need their own book.
The book is of interest to feminists, but also to those who study the media because Raphael takes an in-depth and fascinating look at how the media not only plays into stereotypes about rape, but re-enforces them and even adds to them. At the very least, this book will leave thinking about how people talk about things.
Well written, good response to society, every newscaster should read this. Would also be of great use to a teacher (media, history, English as well as sociology and law) simply because of the use or perceptions and language. Thanks to netgalley for letting me read it as a preview. I will be buying it.
Do you remember hearing about Laura Logan? She was the reporter who was sexually assaulted in Egypt during the protests. It was a gang assaulted and she was rescued, reportedly, by a group of Egyptian women who rushed the men. Instead of expressing sympathy or more appropriate outrage at what happened, several bloggers, newscasters, and op-ed writers attacked Logan – in particular after news outlets posted a picture of her taken when she attended a dinner. The picture showed her in a revealing dress. She looked beautiful. Apparently, some MALE reporters thought she was wearing said dress when she was reporting and, therefore, she asked for it. Or she asked for it because she wanted to upstage Anderson Cooper who got punched. When I heard about that reaction, I didn’t know where to start. Basically, (1) she wasn’t wearing the dress (and how come male reporters are never shown the same way) (2) even if she was, she didn’t ask for it (3) how come when male reporters get kidnapped, shot, or hurt, no commenter ever mentions the belief that perhaps they should have put their family first.
Or more recently, the football player who murdered his girlfriend and then killed himself, did you hear about him? You must have because of the sports bigwigs speaking out against guns. Strangely, they didn’t feel compelled to speak against the culture that allowed a man who had been accused of abusing women several times. Now, I might agree about the gun control issue, but can’t we least talk about the fact that if you are a man with talent it’s okay to abuse women as long as you don’t curse out your boss?
It was ideal, or good timing, for me to read this book after reading The Morning After by Kathie Rophie for Jody Raphael offers a devastating critique of the attacks that Rophie and others made on date rape statistics. The main focus of the book, however, is the fact that the media and society tend not to look at date rape accusations in the same way as stranger rape (hence the title of the book). The book is divided into chapters which including looking at recent rape cases – Logan, Strauss-Kahn - and chapters that relate personal stories of women who were raped by men that they knew. The personal stories seem to have a twofold purpose – one to humanize the statistics or general examples that are looked at in the other chapters; two to challenge the idea of “grey area of rape” that many people seem to think exists.
Raphael use of recent examples is immensely powerful because the average reader can look up with ease the stories and news reports that she mentions (she even mentions the silly politicians and their idea of anti-rape magic hormones). Even if you had only heard of the cases in passing, a quick internet search will not only give you details about the cases but reporters written in such a way that re-enforce Raphael’s thesis - That we don’t take “date” or “acquaintance” rape seriously. I use quotes because I agree with the title – rape is rape.
A just claim, perhaps, might be that Raphael does not take as a close look at false accusations of rape as some people would like (but she does deal with the Duke Lacrosse players in depth). I would imagine that finding such statistics might be hard. Does a not-guilty finding mean that the accusation was false? Considering some of the examples cited in this book, I have to go with a definite no. It is also true that the focus is one male attackers and female victims (though there is mention of man who was raped). Considering that most experts see rape as unreported and men underreport rape more than women, this is hardly surprising. Also considering that amount of stereotypes that male rape victim will be faced with, such cases need their own book.
The book is of interest to feminists, but also to those who study the media because Raphael takes an in-depth and fascinating look at how the media not only plays into stereotypes about rape, but re-enforces them and even adds to them. At the very least, this book will leave thinking about how people talk about things.
Well written, good response to society, every newscaster should read this. Would also be of great use to a teacher (media, history, English as well as sociology and law) simply because of the use or perceptions and language. Thanks to netgalley for letting me read it as a preview. I will be buying it.
June 8, 2013
Initial reaction: Jody Raphael certainly opened my eyes to much on its respective subject in "Rape is Rape: How Denial, Distortion, and Victim Blaming are Fueling a Hidden Acquaintance Rape Crisis". Between the personal narratives this book gives from victim accounts to the multiple citations of media figures, high profile rape cases, and analysis of many examples of victim blaming, I think it not only handles its subject matter with multidimensional arguments and sensitivity, but also prompts the need for social change with respect to the distortions that are rampant within our society. I strongly believe this is a must-read.
Full review:
The most fitting question I have at the beginning of this review, meditating directly on the subject matter presented in this book, is "How can we allow this to happen?" Because it says quite a bit in the negative about our society when we remain negligent, silent, or accusatory in the face of someone - anyone - who's been raped. Regardless of background, regardless of gender, regardless of orientation or any measure one could term. It's unacceptable that victims can't speak up for fear of not being believed or the event not being severe enough to report, or that they will be repeatedly punished even in light for the horrors they've faced.
Initially, I picked this book up on a recommendation of a Goodreads friend who thought I would be interested in the topic (which I was like - "Heck yeah, I need to read this.") I also noted it for the link it had to a certain senator's commentary a while back in the media about what "real" rape constituted and President Obama's response to it in the simply put statement "Rape is Rape". When I first heard the commentary from that senator, I was like "Are you even serious right now?" It's just mind-boggling that so many people can underscore the trauma and horror than many rape victims go through and not make a move to act regardless of what particular role they may function in the level of aiding victims.
Even as I'm writing this respective review, I'm having a difficult time putting into words how to approach this subject. I took a long time to meditate on it (understatement since it's been some months), but the dialogue in Raphael combines both narratives from rape victims and the impact it has had on their respective lives alongside their attempts to report and get help for it.
Every single story in this had me feeling gutted and filled with outrage (which very much this narrative is intended to do) on the level of mismanagement, victim blaming, and/or indifference that were communicated with each respective woman's case. There was a case study of a young woman with cystic fibrosis who was raped and never recovered from the impact of the assault, as the stress took a major toll over her health. And each story was supplemented in Raphael's narrative with misconceptions over the definition of rape, how it was underscored in counterarguments against feminist dialogues by both men AND women, how the larger contexts of "rape culture" contribute to the problem and many other details that I found completely...inexplicable. The whole notation of some explaining rape as somehow equivalent to "bad sex" made me bristle more than a few times. And the extent to blaming victims for somehow lying about the experience and the fabricated statistics with respect to that...just...mind blown. There was also an interesting eye to how self-blame and denial dialogues played a part in survivor mentality, touched upon well in some contexts, but I think it could've delved even further in the dialogue.
I do think the narrative could've gone some steps further to examine several other occurrences of rape, including multi-gendered (male rape included), multiracial, victims that were raped more than once, and rape as portrayed in media. Yet for what the narrative offered, I thin it's a step in starting the larger dialogue and this is one that I would recommend all reading to understand just how prevalent and rooted rape - its frequency, attitudes, and other dimensions - are a problem in our society that we must address.
Overall score: 4/5
Note: I received this as an ARC from NetGalley, from the publisher Chicago Review Press.
Full review:
The most fitting question I have at the beginning of this review, meditating directly on the subject matter presented in this book, is "How can we allow this to happen?" Because it says quite a bit in the negative about our society when we remain negligent, silent, or accusatory in the face of someone - anyone - who's been raped. Regardless of background, regardless of gender, regardless of orientation or any measure one could term. It's unacceptable that victims can't speak up for fear of not being believed or the event not being severe enough to report, or that they will be repeatedly punished even in light for the horrors they've faced.
Initially, I picked this book up on a recommendation of a Goodreads friend who thought I would be interested in the topic (which I was like - "Heck yeah, I need to read this.") I also noted it for the link it had to a certain senator's commentary a while back in the media about what "real" rape constituted and President Obama's response to it in the simply put statement "Rape is Rape". When I first heard the commentary from that senator, I was like "Are you even serious right now?" It's just mind-boggling that so many people can underscore the trauma and horror than many rape victims go through and not make a move to act regardless of what particular role they may function in the level of aiding victims.
Even as I'm writing this respective review, I'm having a difficult time putting into words how to approach this subject. I took a long time to meditate on it (understatement since it's been some months), but the dialogue in Raphael combines both narratives from rape victims and the impact it has had on their respective lives alongside their attempts to report and get help for it.
Every single story in this had me feeling gutted and filled with outrage (which very much this narrative is intended to do) on the level of mismanagement, victim blaming, and/or indifference that were communicated with each respective woman's case. There was a case study of a young woman with cystic fibrosis who was raped and never recovered from the impact of the assault, as the stress took a major toll over her health. And each story was supplemented in Raphael's narrative with misconceptions over the definition of rape, how it was underscored in counterarguments against feminist dialogues by both men AND women, how the larger contexts of "rape culture" contribute to the problem and many other details that I found completely...inexplicable. The whole notation of some explaining rape as somehow equivalent to "bad sex" made me bristle more than a few times. And the extent to blaming victims for somehow lying about the experience and the fabricated statistics with respect to that...just...mind blown. There was also an interesting eye to how self-blame and denial dialogues played a part in survivor mentality, touched upon well in some contexts, but I think it could've delved even further in the dialogue.
I do think the narrative could've gone some steps further to examine several other occurrences of rape, including multi-gendered (male rape included), multiracial, victims that were raped more than once, and rape as portrayed in media. Yet for what the narrative offered, I thin it's a step in starting the larger dialogue and this is one that I would recommend all reading to understand just how prevalent and rooted rape - its frequency, attitudes, and other dimensions - are a problem in our society that we must address.
Overall score: 4/5
Note: I received this as an ARC from NetGalley, from the publisher Chicago Review Press.
April 1, 2016
CONTENT WARNING(s) FOR THIS BOOK: Rape (yeah, should be pretty obvious from the title, but just in case, I'm adding a trigger/content warning)
*deep breath*
This book has a really tough subject matter, and it was emotionally difficult to get through. I had to take a break about halfway through because I was so full of rage at the atrocities that these women (and men too! Although this book focuses on female victims) had to suffer as well as the societal blaming, disbelief, and apathy they endured.
I truly believe rape is one of the most cruel and evil things a person can do. To use sex, which is supposed to be pleasurable and good, and use it as a weapon, as violence- to me that's absolutely despicable. It doesn't matter what the victim was wearing, or if they weren't a virgin, or if alcohol was involved, or if the victim previously had consensual sex with the rapist. Rape is never the victim's fault. To place blame on the victim is to absolve the rapist of guilt. And that is morally reprehensible
In edition to shedding some much needed light on an important subject. It was well written, well researched, and the author wrote with an unbiased tone that I appreciate. In short, please read this. Please have everyone you know read this. Rape culture needs to end.
" Every one of us has a role to play. We can correct friends who minimize an acquaintance rape. We can complain to the appropriate authorities when we notice that a rape report in our college or workplace is being minimized or handled incorrectly. We can protest rape jokes. We can actively support a friend, acquaintance, or coworker who reports that he or she has been raped. We can write to newspapers editors when space is given to a rape denied but not to another view. We all need to work to overcome the current culture of rape denial " (191).
*deep breath*
This book has a really tough subject matter, and it was emotionally difficult to get through. I had to take a break about halfway through because I was so full of rage at the atrocities that these women (and men too! Although this book focuses on female victims) had to suffer as well as the societal blaming, disbelief, and apathy they endured.
I truly believe rape is one of the most cruel and evil things a person can do. To use sex, which is supposed to be pleasurable and good, and use it as a weapon, as violence- to me that's absolutely despicable. It doesn't matter what the victim was wearing, or if they weren't a virgin, or if alcohol was involved, or if the victim previously had consensual sex with the rapist. Rape is never the victim's fault. To place blame on the victim is to absolve the rapist of guilt. And that is morally reprehensible
In edition to shedding some much needed light on an important subject. It was well written, well researched, and the author wrote with an unbiased tone that I appreciate. In short, please read this. Please have everyone you know read this. Rape culture needs to end.
" Every one of us has a role to play. We can correct friends who minimize an acquaintance rape. We can complain to the appropriate authorities when we notice that a rape report in our college or workplace is being minimized or handled incorrectly. We can protest rape jokes. We can actively support a friend, acquaintance, or coworker who reports that he or she has been raped. We can write to newspapers editors when space is given to a rape denied but not to another view. We all need to work to overcome the current culture of rape denial " (191).
May 8, 2013
After reading this book, I truly know I'm not alone. The way I was treated after my rape by the police, my community, and my friends is, quite unfortunately, par for the course. In fact, some of the examples in this book show me just how much worse it could be. We live in a culture where rape victims are habitually not believed. Their rapists go on to rape rape rape some more. Police minimize the report, as they did with mine, treating the victim with indifference or, worse, blame and contempt. There were even cases where the women were charged with underage drinking or making a false police report because of the lack of physical evidence.
I applaud Jody for writing this book. It's a brilliant piece of work that should be read by every person in America. It is imperative to realize just how prevalent rape is in this culture. We must, as a society, revoke rapists' social license to operate and believe victims when they come forward. A woman is raped every 1-2 minutes in the USA, and few of them are believed. *We* perpetuate a society where women are not believed and rapists are protected by victim-blaming, making rape jokes, and minimizing assaults as "boys will be boys" or "he said she said" nonsense. "We weren't there, how could we know what really happened?" "It's probably just a case of love gone kapluey." "She's just hurt and lashing out."
The myth that women often lie about rape has become so ingrained, the first thing anyone thinks is that she must be lying. The reality is false reports are between 2 and 8%.
Only 3% of rapists see even one day in jail.
Only 14% of cases ever go to trial.
Juries continue to release rapists based on "reasonable doubt," which often is the rapists' word that the encounter was consensual.
Read this disturbing book and face reality. Please. I understand all too well how horrific this all is, as I've lived it. Before I was raped, I never would've read this book because I didn't want to face the reality of rape. It was too terrible to consider. Now, it's my only reality.
Know that most rapes occur by people the victim knows. Over 85%.
Please. When you hear someone say they were raped, go against the cultural norm and believe them. Support them. Let's turn this around.
I applaud Jody for writing this book. It's a brilliant piece of work that should be read by every person in America. It is imperative to realize just how prevalent rape is in this culture. We must, as a society, revoke rapists' social license to operate and believe victims when they come forward. A woman is raped every 1-2 minutes in the USA, and few of them are believed. *We* perpetuate a society where women are not believed and rapists are protected by victim-blaming, making rape jokes, and minimizing assaults as "boys will be boys" or "he said she said" nonsense. "We weren't there, how could we know what really happened?" "It's probably just a case of love gone kapluey." "She's just hurt and lashing out."
The myth that women often lie about rape has become so ingrained, the first thing anyone thinks is that she must be lying. The reality is false reports are between 2 and 8%.
Only 3% of rapists see even one day in jail.
Only 14% of cases ever go to trial.
Juries continue to release rapists based on "reasonable doubt," which often is the rapists' word that the encounter was consensual.
Read this disturbing book and face reality. Please. I understand all too well how horrific this all is, as I've lived it. Before I was raped, I never would've read this book because I didn't want to face the reality of rape. It was too terrible to consider. Now, it's my only reality.
Know that most rapes occur by people the victim knows. Over 85%.
Please. When you hear someone say they were raped, go against the cultural norm and believe them. Support them. Let's turn this around.
social-justice-bullshit
July 1, 2016The blurb for this truly scares me.
Firstly, rape is both a female and male issue. So I don't know why it only mentions "protecting the rights of women and girls."
Secondly, the quotes in the beginning are actually right. There ARE girls out there who will cry rape over bad sex or regretful sex. And if you truly care about real rape victims, you will acknowledge that. Not criticize the people who point it out. You will acknowledge what rape actually is by acknowledging that some of what people call rape, isn't rape. And there ARE people who use it simply as a cause to demonize men. Hence why they only talk about the female victims, and never the male victims. And no, even though there are people out there saying these things (because common sense isn't TOTALLY dead), that does not mean that the "much of the general public think rape is a figment of imagination." Our culture condemns rape quite a bit, and we still live in the age of "Believe the victim", a circular logic cycle people use to manipulate people into believing claims even without proof or evidence. This "listen and believe" mentality terrifies me, it should be "listen, and then try to figure out if it's true."
Also, not that I would judge a book based on what reviews say, but I think it's worth noting what types of people are reading/giving this book high ratings-for I saw one review that said, and I shit you not (to any sane people reading this) that girls should not ever allow a guy in their dorm room, simply on the basis that he is a guy, even if he's a guy who's been friends with her since childhood.
This line of thinking is so insanely and dangerously stupid, and that level of sexism disgusts me so much, that I have to wonder what modern-day feminism is drilling into young girls' heads. But I want no part of it.
Not that any of this surprises me. I've known better for a long time now to avoid extremist left-wing, feminist, social justice books that preach horrifically bigoted and misleading content.
Firstly, rape is both a female and male issue. So I don't know why it only mentions "protecting the rights of women and girls."
Secondly, the quotes in the beginning are actually right. There ARE girls out there who will cry rape over bad sex or regretful sex. And if you truly care about real rape victims, you will acknowledge that. Not criticize the people who point it out. You will acknowledge what rape actually is by acknowledging that some of what people call rape, isn't rape. And there ARE people who use it simply as a cause to demonize men. Hence why they only talk about the female victims, and never the male victims. And no, even though there are people out there saying these things (because common sense isn't TOTALLY dead), that does not mean that the "much of the general public think rape is a figment of imagination." Our culture condemns rape quite a bit, and we still live in the age of "Believe the victim", a circular logic cycle people use to manipulate people into believing claims even without proof or evidence. This "listen and believe" mentality terrifies me, it should be "listen, and then try to figure out if it's true."
Also, not that I would judge a book based on what reviews say, but I think it's worth noting what types of people are reading/giving this book high ratings-for I saw one review that said, and I shit you not (to any sane people reading this) that girls should not ever allow a guy in their dorm room, simply on the basis that he is a guy, even if he's a guy who's been friends with her since childhood.
This line of thinking is so insanely and dangerously stupid, and that level of sexism disgusts me so much, that I have to wonder what modern-day feminism is drilling into young girls' heads. But I want no part of it.
Not that any of this surprises me. I've known better for a long time now to avoid extremist left-wing, feminist, social justice books that preach horrifically bigoted and misleading content.
Read
June 12, 2020There are subjects that are difficult to read about, awful to talk about but all the same it’s absolutely vital to keep the dialogue ongoing. And then there are subjects that you think you’ve heard the very worst examples of but quickly find you’re wrong. What shocked me was not the horrific experiences shared in Rape is Rape – they were frightening and horrifying and I am awed by the bravery of those who shared their experiences – but the sucker punch, for me, was from a much more unexpected direction.
I think I knew I was going to have some sleepless nights over this book after reading about the congressman who said that comparing date rape to rape was like comparing the common cold to cancer. Even now I feel fury welling just having to share that obscenely ridiculous sentiment.
These quotations are from the book – not from the author but from others interviewed about their thoughts or from surveys and research:
“More than half of women and girls lie about rape…”
“Feminists exaggerate rape prevalence to demonize men and raise money for their cause…”
“Girls cry ‘rape’ when it’s nothing more than regret over bad sex…”
Rape is Rape is an important book in that it looks at rape – and in particular acquaintance rape – from multiple angles. Not just the crime and the punishment but social attitudes, misconceptions, the almost ‘flexible’ definition applied to rape in some cases. It looks at those instances where the damage done by judgemental friends/family, or dismissive police officers, or unsympathetic teachers have had almost as much of a detrimental impact on someone’s life as the rape itself.
As I read this book, I ranted, I cried, I gasped, I shook my husband awake because I couldn’t sit alone at 3 a.m. having read of some new injustice or some infuriating downplay. This book shocked, provoked, educated and is certainly one of the most profound and important books I have read this year.
I think I knew I was going to have some sleepless nights over this book after reading about the congressman who said that comparing date rape to rape was like comparing the common cold to cancer. Even now I feel fury welling just having to share that obscenely ridiculous sentiment.
These quotations are from the book – not from the author but from others interviewed about their thoughts or from surveys and research:
“More than half of women and girls lie about rape…”
“Feminists exaggerate rape prevalence to demonize men and raise money for their cause…”
“Girls cry ‘rape’ when it’s nothing more than regret over bad sex…”
Rape is Rape is an important book in that it looks at rape – and in particular acquaintance rape – from multiple angles. Not just the crime and the punishment but social attitudes, misconceptions, the almost ‘flexible’ definition applied to rape in some cases. It looks at those instances where the damage done by judgemental friends/family, or dismissive police officers, or unsympathetic teachers have had almost as much of a detrimental impact on someone’s life as the rape itself.
As I read this book, I ranted, I cried, I gasped, I shook my husband awake because I couldn’t sit alone at 3 a.m. having read of some new injustice or some infuriating downplay. This book shocked, provoked, educated and is certainly one of the most profound and important books I have read this year.
February 27, 2014
I mean, this was fine, but nothing that blog posts haven't said better? I guess there's value to having a printed book to give people. But there were a lot of places where Raphael wasn't radical enough for me, where she was giving the deniers and apologists more respect and consideration than they are due.
November 5, 2013
Rape has to be one of the crimes which produces an emotional response in anyone – it is an emotive subject. Because of this it is too easy for any book written about the subject to descend into a vitriolic rant rather than report facts and figures. The author of this book avoids this trap and the women she interviewed all describe their experiences in low key terms which make a huge impression on the reader because of their restrained language.
The book covers not just rape of women and girls but also looks at the way abuse of boys and men is treated by the authorities. All too often victims are not believed and if the assault happens in connection with an institution such as a church, university or school the powers that be have every incentive to protect the reputation of their own organisation.
In the UK there is the ongoing example of the Jimmy Savile case and those who have been exposed in the resulting police investigations. There is a disinclination to believe victims who accuse celebrities because certain people just don’t commit those sort of crimes. This was the defence used in the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case.
I accept that some people may lie about sexual assault just as they may lie about other crimes for a variety of reasons but it is all too easy to assume that all victims lie. Rape and sexual assaults are the only crimes as far as I am aware in which society and the courts tend towards blaming the victim. No one blames people whose houses are broken into but too many blame rape victims or say they invited the attack by their behaviour.
This book makes interesting and shocking reading for anyone who thinks that people in positions of power are above reproach and that all women lie about sex. Two things stick in my mind after reading this book. The first is that a US senator could actually say in public that if a woman is raped she will not become pregnant because her body will naturally block the pregnancy because of the circumstances so there is no need for abortion to be allowed on the grounds of rape. The fact that the woman is pregnant proves she wasn’t raped. The second is that the reaction of blaming and often punishing the victim is very similar to the stoning of women for having extra-marital sex in some predominantly Muslim countries.
I found the book disturbing and compelling reading. The author quotes many academic studies and there are notes on all the chapters and a recommended reading list as well as an index. While the book concentrates primarily on America it is still of relevance to readers in the UK and other countries.
The book covers not just rape of women and girls but also looks at the way abuse of boys and men is treated by the authorities. All too often victims are not believed and if the assault happens in connection with an institution such as a church, university or school the powers that be have every incentive to protect the reputation of their own organisation.
In the UK there is the ongoing example of the Jimmy Savile case and those who have been exposed in the resulting police investigations. There is a disinclination to believe victims who accuse celebrities because certain people just don’t commit those sort of crimes. This was the defence used in the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case.
I accept that some people may lie about sexual assault just as they may lie about other crimes for a variety of reasons but it is all too easy to assume that all victims lie. Rape and sexual assaults are the only crimes as far as I am aware in which society and the courts tend towards blaming the victim. No one blames people whose houses are broken into but too many blame rape victims or say they invited the attack by their behaviour.
This book makes interesting and shocking reading for anyone who thinks that people in positions of power are above reproach and that all women lie about sex. Two things stick in my mind after reading this book. The first is that a US senator could actually say in public that if a woman is raped she will not become pregnant because her body will naturally block the pregnancy because of the circumstances so there is no need for abortion to be allowed on the grounds of rape. The fact that the woman is pregnant proves she wasn’t raped. The second is that the reaction of blaming and often punishing the victim is very similar to the stoning of women for having extra-marital sex in some predominantly Muslim countries.
I found the book disturbing and compelling reading. The author quotes many academic studies and there are notes on all the chapters and a recommended reading list as well as an index. While the book concentrates primarily on America it is still of relevance to readers in the UK and other countries.
June 5, 2013
What a compelling case Jody Raphael makes to clarify her message about acquaintance rapes. This is an important book and yet, a very very difficult one to read. Through references to studies on rape and through interviews with rape victims, Raphael articulates some of the challenges that a rape victim faces - especially those raped by someone they know. One, a rape victim is met with indifference and disbelief and is further punished for having complained about her situation. While one may have read about victim blaming before, to read about such instances one after the other, page after page, was proving to be very depressing. These victims faced further harassment from their friends, police, hospital and their universities. The situation was reinforced in the cases of celebrity rapes as well. In almost all celebrity cases, the victim was met with suspicion by the media. After all, why would the celebrity have to do that? It was more probable that the woman was a money digger! The audacity of justifications for rape, left me gaping with wonder.
Raphael also makes a wonderful case about how rape is denied in the media. In the beginning chapters, the author takes us through various studies of rape victim advocates and of rape deniers, clarifying how data can be wrongly used to deny the prevalence of rape.
It is a brilliant book. Acquaintance rape is difficult to prove. In most cases the rapist would put forward the defense that the rape was consensual. Thus, the act may either be seen as a response to 'bad sex' or as a stupid act rather than a criminal one. In most cases it is difficult to prove that that rape had occurred. However, Raphael suggests that even in those cases, there are physical evidences which may be useful. But the system needs to be supportive of rape victims to make sure that those evidences are collected. But in most cases, the initial response is to question the rape victim about the clothes they wear, the amount of alcohol in their body, or the place they chose to be. This book is a reminder of its title - Rape is Rape. There is NO justification.
Raphael also makes a wonderful case about how rape is denied in the media. In the beginning chapters, the author takes us through various studies of rape victim advocates and of rape deniers, clarifying how data can be wrongly used to deny the prevalence of rape.
It is a brilliant book. Acquaintance rape is difficult to prove. In most cases the rapist would put forward the defense that the rape was consensual. Thus, the act may either be seen as a response to 'bad sex' or as a stupid act rather than a criminal one. In most cases it is difficult to prove that that rape had occurred. However, Raphael suggests that even in those cases, there are physical evidences which may be useful. But the system needs to be supportive of rape victims to make sure that those evidences are collected. But in most cases, the initial response is to question the rape victim about the clothes they wear, the amount of alcohol in their body, or the place they chose to be. This book is a reminder of its title - Rape is Rape. There is NO justification.
January 22, 2013
Very Conflicting book indeed ! And unless you are doing a research or some kind of thesis on Rape ,stay away from this or unless you are the kind who doesn't get affected by what they read .But if you connect well with characters n feel their emotions ,this book is not meant for you .I couldn't read it beyond some 100 pages .It made me kinda hate myself and my mind started zooming in on false personifications . No offense meant to author or anyone ,it's literally too hard to read .I can read about pain ,death ,murder and others in novels ,but this book treats emotions as next thing to revolutionize or something ! It amazes me a lot thinking how can persons write such things unfazed ??
October 18, 2013
Rape is Rape presents in clear, concise language the complex and nuanced challenges faced by rape victims and society at large using recent court case studies and case examples. Further, Raphael integrates examinations of where information is being sourced, from the top links appearing in google searches, to television reporting, to blogs and social media outlets. With extensive notes documenting the sources of information presented, you'll have no trouble finding your way to further reading. Resources for victims, research statistics, and recommended readings to further your exploration of this and related topics are provided.
September 26, 2018
Eye opening and balanced. The one thing that could have been done better was the history of false rape accusations. You can’t have everything, and the author is clearly not a historian. All and all a good book. Everyone should read it
March 17, 2020
This book is so straight to the point and hard to argue with. It's an upsetting but important read.
April 18, 2018
Since #MeToo started, some people have been asking if it's gone too far.
There's a fun game you can play, it's mostly based around a rule of thumb from watching reddit threads in the wake of every new celebrity allegation. Estimate the politics or "wokeness" of a person by which accused #MeToo celebrity they refuse to accept could assault someone. Almost everyone finds Harvey Weinstein to be a universal turd blossom. Most people got creeped out by Kevin Spacey.
And Aziz Ansari broke my Facebook and Twitter feed.
This is a book everyone should read, no matter how lefty, blue state, or "woke" you think you are. Raphael has a lot to say about the realities of rape, and the realities of rape denialers. Acquaintance rape accounts for more than three quarters of all rapes. False rape accusations are in the single digits every study.
Aziz Ansari broke my Facebook feed because there's a lot of guys out there who probably had a situation like the one that involved him, and they wrote it off in their brains as a "bad date." And a lot of the experiences Raphael writes about in this book are also that kind of "bad date" experience that lets society and all of us as a whole minimize the realities of rape. It's a very serious subject that none of us take seriously enough.
Also the existence of a rape denial group called 'the Society of False Accusations' or whatever silly name it had is both hilarious and horrifying.
There's a fun game you can play, it's mostly based around a rule of thumb from watching reddit threads in the wake of every new celebrity allegation. Estimate the politics or "wokeness" of a person by which accused #MeToo celebrity they refuse to accept could assault someone. Almost everyone finds Harvey Weinstein to be a universal turd blossom. Most people got creeped out by Kevin Spacey.
And Aziz Ansari broke my Facebook and Twitter feed.
This is a book everyone should read, no matter how lefty, blue state, or "woke" you think you are. Raphael has a lot to say about the realities of rape, and the realities of rape denialers. Acquaintance rape accounts for more than three quarters of all rapes. False rape accusations are in the single digits every study.
Aziz Ansari broke my Facebook feed because there's a lot of guys out there who probably had a situation like the one that involved him, and they wrote it off in their brains as a "bad date." And a lot of the experiences Raphael writes about in this book are also that kind of "bad date" experience that lets society and all of us as a whole minimize the realities of rape. It's a very serious subject that none of us take seriously enough.
Also the existence of a rape denial group called 'the Society of False Accusations' or whatever silly name it had is both hilarious and horrifying.
December 14, 2019
Essential reading for anyone in our post-Kavanaugh world. Jody Raphael has written an incredible, comprehensive, factually based summation of modern rape culture. She opens by pointing out that there are rape deniers on both sides of the political aisle, a stance that impressed me greatly. So many feminist works only want to pander to the liberal side. Through the course of the work, she also discusses studies done on rape prevalence and the ways they can be distorted or misunderstood, examines the way police, medical care facilities and universities fail assault victims, and more. The book doesn't end on a particularly hopeful note, but it gives recommendations for what all can do to dimish the crisis and assist victims in healing.
There was so much in this book I know I have to read it again. It is undoubtedly one of the best feminist books I've ever read and is an absolute must read. Everyone, whether they're aware of it or not, knows someone who has been a victim of sexual assault, and so everyone has a responsibility to know how to address that reality. This book will help.
There was so much in this book I know I have to read it again. It is undoubtedly one of the best feminist books I've ever read and is an absolute must read. Everyone, whether they're aware of it or not, knows someone who has been a victim of sexual assault, and so everyone has a responsibility to know how to address that reality. This book will help.
May 25, 2020
I found the prospectives presented as interesting counterpoints to the narratives that accused people and their defenders present. There are elements I wish the author would go deeper into but I can understand why she would not.
Good read. Would recommend. Found it quick; not a heavy time commitment for what I found were very worthy nuggets of wisdom.
Good read. Would recommend. Found it quick; not a heavy time commitment for what I found were very worthy nuggets of wisdom.
May 15, 2017
Very challenging read that needs to be read.
June 11, 2018
Rape is Rape is one of the most important books you could read in the #metoo era. Well-written, well-researched, and some strong conclusions that make this a must-read.
May 29, 2013
Published in 2013, this is an excellent contemporary look at the problem of rape and how, just as it's been throughout human history, excuses are made to trivialize or deny that the rape ever happened, or blame the crime of rape on the victims. The author looks at the recent election and at the comments made by political candidates. Even feminists and other people you think would know better, often in their writing and spoken words, end up blaming the victim. The author's primary focus is acquaintance rape. She reveals the tactics used by rape deniers who come from the entire range of the political spectrum. She includes case studies of rape victims, and offers the reader a vision of what a world without rape deniers would be like. Very worthwhile.
January 16, 2014
Fantastic book that specifically focuses on bulldozing through common myths about rape. It has a heavy focus on both empirical and anecdotal evidence. Particularly interesting is the way in which facts seem to not matter when it comes to rape, and how there are vocal, influential people who insist on perpetuating untruths about women and rape.
The book is more descriptive than evaluative: the author doesn't offer an explanation as to why things are the way they are. But there are other texts for that (Bourke's history of rape, for example). This is a short, snappy, to-the-point text about how victim blaming and rape denial allows rape to occur and reinforces women's oppression.
The book is more descriptive than evaluative: the author doesn't offer an explanation as to why things are the way they are. But there are other texts for that (Bourke's history of rape, for example). This is a short, snappy, to-the-point text about how victim blaming and rape denial allows rape to occur and reinforces women's oppression.
June 25, 2013
This book is well-written, factual and devastating. Raphael does an excellent job of unpacking false rape statistics, rape denial and the alarming prevalence of victim blaming in today's rape culture (in particular acquaintance rape). With the recent media coverage of false claims about women and their biology regarding rape as well as the media handling of the most recent nationally covered cases of rape--this book is a must read.
June 29, 2013
Not quite as groundbreaking as I'd hoped -- but covers various ways in which rape denial (including media downplay) is fueling the rape crisis. Dissects some of the language around talking about acquaintance rape (and "bad sex"). Not a bad foundational book, but doesn't move the conversation forward as I hoped it would.
May 25, 2016
Anyone who says this book isn't worth reading is out of their mind.
I've read a dozen books on the subject in the last month and this is my first review. Look at my name, I never review anything but HAD to let folks know this is important. Pretty please read t h is and buy a copy for a friend.
I've read a dozen books on the subject in the last month and this is my first review. Look at my name, I never review anything but HAD to let folks know this is important. Pretty please read t h is and buy a copy for a friend.
October 22, 2016
Wow. As a two-time sexual assault survivor, this was a very heavy read, but in my opinion, an important one. Filled cover-to-cover with statistics damning those who question acquaintance rape victim's credibility, I now feel far more equipped to defend not only myself but all rape victims when necessary.
August 22, 2013
Just a note: I would absolutely have to put a trigger warning on this book for anyone who has experienced rape or sexual assault. This book includes both the cold hard facts and the terrifying stories of real women. It can be graphic and unsettling for those who struggle with memories.
May 13, 2013
Surprised and troubled by how much I needed to learn about rape denial. Thoughtful, careful, nuanced book.
January 19, 2014
A difficult read not recommended for people with rape triggers, but an important one for everyone who hasn't experienced rape and is comfortably unaware of their subconscious biases.
May 15, 2014
This is an amazing book. Everyone should read it immediately.
April 15, 2015
Informative but repetitive as well.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews