Funny Epitaphs

by Arthur Wentworth Hamilton Eaton

This unique volume was published in 1902.

Book excerpts:

A Cornwall churchyard is enriched with the follow-
ing dainty verses :

Here lies entombed one Roger Morton,
Whose sudden death was early brought on ;
Trying one day his-corn to mow off,
The razor slipped and cut his toe off.

The toe, or rather what it grew to,
An inflammation quickly flew to ;
The parts they took to mortifying.
And poor dear Roger took to dying.
.................................................................................


In Thetford Churchyard, Norfolk :
My grandfather was buried here,
My cousin Jane and two uncles dear ;
My father perished with an inflammation in his thighs
And my sister dropped down dead in the Minories ;
But the reason why I'm here interr'd, according to my thinking,
Is owing to my good living and hard drinking.
If, therefore, good Christians, you wish to live long.
Don't drink too much wine, brandy, gin, or anything strong.
................................................................................

He's done a catching cod
And gone to meet his God.

*

He got a fish bone in his throat
And then he sang an angels note

Genres: Humor

49 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1885

Reviews

[Wilbur · Rating 3 out of 5]

Curious work. Interesting to see the thought that went into these. Particularly enjoyed:

As I am now, so you must be,
Therefore prepare to follow me.

Written under:

To follow you I'm not content,
How do I know which way you went.

I read the Project Guttenberg ebook

[David Arnold · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not all of these are actually humorous. Some are happy, some are bittersweet, and some are about children and babies and just quite sad. Some are similar, however, I enjoyed it.

My Favorites:

Here lies one Box within another;
The one of wood
Was very good;
We cannot say so much for t' other.

--

Here lies the body of Ann Mann,
Who lived an old woman,
And died an old Mann.

--

(an architect's epitaph)

Lie heavy on him, earth, for he
Laid many a heavy load on thee.

--

To follow you I'm not content,
How do I know which way you went.

--

[Tim Shepard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good but...

The book itself is good. Especially if you're interested in older tombstones. Sometimes the humor is hard to grasp if you're not familiar with the era or country the epitaph is from. The worst part though is that because its a scanned book the pages are jumbled and difficult to decipher what should be where.

[Bryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many of these are quite old and will not be as humorous today as they might have been back in the day, but there are a few fun epitaphs in here. It is a classic book that has weathered tolerably well.

[Abby Wheelwright]

Very dry humor on some tombstones. It makes me want to get creative with my own future epitaph.

[Melina Wright · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's quite interesting to read epitaph in general - not morose at all but when they're funny it's even better! Life long love of a depressing subject as it makes it real and not so gloomy! Loved!

[Veronika · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think Witty Epitaphs would have been a better name.

[Vansh · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good reminder. Thank you Arthur.