Gravitas: Communicate with Confidence, Influence and Authority

by Caroline Goyder

Have you ever wondered why some people earn attention and respect when they speak and others don't? The secret to their success can be summed up in one gravitas.

In this revolutionary new book, leading voice coach and speaker Caroline Goyder reveals how to speak so others will listen. Through simple techniques to build your natural gravitas, you will learn how to express yourself clearly with passion and confidence to persuade, influence and engage listeners. By being grounded in your values and capabilities, you will gain the authority needed to make people sit up and pay attention.

Each chapter guides you step-by-step through practical techniques and exercises to give you the skills for great presentations, productive meetings and persuasive pitches. You'll overcome anxiety, learn how to deal with difficult people and feel calm and in control when public speaking.

An essential tool for the modern workplace, Gravitas will transform the way you think about yourself and your powers of communication.

Genres: Nonfiction, Communication, Business, Self Help, Leadership, Audiobook, Management

258 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 2, 2014

Reviews

[Imran Ahmed · Rating 3 out of 5]

Self-improvement books are a nice way to make one feel good. They energize one while reading. Indeed, we make all sorts of mental promises to implement the many wonderful suggestions contained in the book.

That is the case with virtually all self-improvement books. The difference between a nice and a great self-improvement book is whether one carries through with all those promises and suggestions.

Are the recommendations easily remembered in a catchy way? How practical are they for one’s life? Surely, there is an element of personal motivation involved though much of that hurdle was already crossed when a reader picks up a specific title.

Gravitas by Caroline Goyder had more potential than the author realizes. The entire book is readable. No doubt about that. It was well organized. It revealed insights; it used catchy acronyms.

Still, it just didn’t quite get there. It’s difficult to say why. Perhaps it was an (ostensible) lack of depth which turned me off. It just lacked that ‘gravitas’ associated with a terrific read. Nonetheless, if you have a few hours - say on an intercontinental airplane journey - Gravitas is not a bad way to fumble in and out of sleep.

[Sabeena · Rating 5 out of 5]

We all know at least one person that has impressed us in our lifetime with that certain charisma, a wisdom, weightiness in what they had to say, that effortlessly held attention, were incredibly intelligent but also humbly grounded? I knew many from lecturers of my university days to a helpful, local newsagents! We now know that that characteristic 'je ne sais quoi' they possessed was in fact their Gravitas.
If you are looking for your 'voice' for personal reasons or professional, it's worth thinking about the concept of gravitas. Ultimately, our credibility is what makes us attractive, real and genuine, which in turn influences how we behave, speak and act, which in turn affects how we are received, heard, believed and trusted. Often we can mean well but get things jumbled up-I most certainly do. So I was interested in finding Gravitas within myself so I can begin to order my thoughts and be aware of how I hold myself, what words I choose to use to express myself and get my message across, how to lower my anxiety when wanting to do so and to exercise and adopt the comforting feeling of groundedness. There are exercises to get you to understand how to work out your natural inclinations and advice on what you need to work on. Public speakers and people that present to audiences will take a lot away from this. Because ultimately it advises on how we can modulate our intentions and passion for our 'subject' and relay it credibly (which is of course what we want) backed up with a controlled 'voice' (tone, pitch etc).
Confidence issues affect all of us at some point in our lives, some of us more than others. Having anxiety issues myself I could see how I could apply these concepts to suit me realistically. But I also realise this is no quick fix, they need to be adopted into our mindset and thus we need to be 'mindful' of them.
My take-away points from the book:
1. Gravitas = knowledge (logos) + purpose(ethos) + passion(pathos) - (anxiety)
2. Ground yourself in how you are already valuable. Plant roots in who you are.
3. The internal source - your capacity your own intelligence. When you learn to rest into that, it expresses itself through your voice and your own consciousness.
4. Speech is the mirror of the mind. Sifting is the ability to filter your ideas through your own mind before expressing them to others.
5. Reading is the collection of intellectual income, writing is the spending of it. You need to read to write.
6. Morning pages - for ten minutes just write, a complete stream of consciousness, it connects you to a channel of energy you can come back to. You tap into the unconscious mind where your voice resides.
7. Gravitas exists purely in your zone of expertise. You need to be attuned to how far you can go to the edges of your knowledge before you become unstable.
8. Clarity of expression is everything. Clarity and simplicity of language. The right words right expression.
9. Be a leveller not a gremlin; when the gremlin shows up, be the hero in the situation not the victim!

With lots of advice which I can apply to interview techniques to back up my knowledge! Because knowledge alone is not enough these days. And whereas once upon a time it may have taken knowledge and wisdom grown over time to develop out gravitas, it has now become a skill to hone purposefully. Whatever the reasons for doing so, its always in our favour to find it within us.

[Ivan Kulis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gravitas is a skill that will be increasingly in demand in the future because it goes against the mainstream trends. It is one of these skills -- like capacity to mono-task or to work for extended hours in a very focused manner -- that are becoming increasingly rare today. Which is why we need it.

In the world of limited attention span, soundbites and social media, the capability of gravitas -- listening attentively and speaking coherently, with controlled passion and remarkable precision, is well appreciated.

Goyder invites us to experiment and nurture our gravitas in a very artistic way. She digs into acting exercises and merges them with a rich evidence from oh-so-inevitable-today neuroscience and psychology. The most interesting thing is that Goyder approaches gravitas as creating a space to develop our own voice. This voice will become a vehicle that will allow us to grow in confidence and to powerfully bring our ideas to the world.

The book is very action-oriented and offers a rich toolbox of exercises. The author writes with lot of passion and style, citing often Marcus Aurelius and Greek orators, which for me is always welcome.

Behance, a community of creative professionals, has a range of products that invite users to "pay respect to their own ideas". Gravitas is an equally valuable mechanism for ensuring those also that listen to us consider our ideas seriously.

[Saner Pasha]

Caroline, this was a hell of a book to read! As experienced communicator and negotiator, I'm genuinely impressed with the tips included in the content. Thanks for introducing me to Gravitas. Cheers, Saner

[Roop Gill Axelsen · Rating 4 out of 5]

For me, this was the most actionable and relevant book on communication since Non-violent Communication. While a majority of the book focuses on introspection and cultivating gravitas from within, the practical speech and communication tips are ones I see myself using regularly in a professional context.

[Chris Bauer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I usually read over a dozen "business books" per year just to stay on top of trends. "Gravitas" was recommended to me by a co-worker in Europe. My only wish is that I'd read this book 6 years ago when it came out!

Common sense melange of CBT, historical precedence and differing "axis" and approaches of demeanor and nature.

It has been a very long time since I've read a single work with so much useful information crammed into it. I'll be referring to it for many years to come. Should be a part of any business professional's personal library.

Highly recommended.

[Stefan Bonimy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful

There were many helpful tips to become a better communicator and convey confidence during presentations. As someone who has been active in Toastmasters International, I can attest to much of the advice given in this book. It's an excellent read

[Gemma]

Not sure what I was expecting with this book, but the only surprising takeaway is how painfully obvious most of it was. Padded out with fluffy quotes, “bizniz” anecdotes (Steve Jobs inc. natch) and severely lacking in much else.

[Dalius · Rating 4 out of 5]

Knyga apie bendravimą ir mokymasi bendrauti. Tai patarimų rinkynis, padėsiantis lengviau komunikuoti, vadovauti, suprasti.
Lengvai skaitoma (aš klausiau) knyga su daugybe įdomių įžvalgų, kurios daugumai yra natūraliai žinomos, bet nuo to nėra mažiau naudingos.

[Nicola · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit basic, some interesting ideas and reminders. Probably better for someone just starting working life.

[George Berrey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Such a random read but found lying around in my brother's room...shock...
Actually wasn't as male boss, we all have 24 hrs in a day, as i thought it would be
Kinda good read for job application season lol don't shoot me...

[Jung]

Caroline Goyder’s "Gravitas: Communicate with Confidence, Influence and Authority" dives into what makes people command attention and respect—not through loudness or force, but through presence, purpose, and poise. Goyder presents gravitas as something everyone can cultivate, rather than a mysterious trait reserved for the naturally charismatic. It’s a learned balance of knowledge, intention, and passion, minus anxiety. When you have gravitas, people listen—not because you demand it, but because you naturally exude credibility and calm assurance.

At the heart of the book is the belief that gravitas can be broken down into seven practical principles. The first three principles form the inner core—self-awareness, managing perceptions, and finding your true voice. Goyder begins by urging readers to truly know themselves. That includes being aware of your internal state—thoughts, emotions, body language—and grounding yourself physically to project calm confidence. Her technique 'FOFBOC' (Feet On Floor, Bum On Chair) helps create physical and mental stillness, especially useful before high-stakes conversations.

Next is the idea that you train people how to treat you by balancing status and connection. Goyder shows how body language—like the positioning of your hands—can subtly shift how others perceive your authority. Hands down signals calm command, while hands up expresses openness. When used intentionally, these physical cues help shape how you’re seen without changing who you are. This leads into the third pillar: finding your voice. It’s not about mimicking others but refining your ideas into simple, punchy, rhythmic speech. Short sentences and pauses create clarity and breathing space, enhancing how your words land.

Once this internal foundation is solid, the remaining four principles move outward, focusing on how you interact with others. The fourth principle is speaking so others actually listen. This involves controlling the mechanics of your voice—tone, rhythm, and energy. Goyder encourages speaking from the gut (literally) to create resonance and authority. She includes exercises to find this voice, such as tapping under your ribs to activate the diaphragm.

Fifth comes the art of persuasion: winning both hearts and minds. Goyder emphasizes that logic alone isn’t enough. To move people, you must pair facts with emotional storytelling. Planning an emotional journey into your message makes it stick and encourages listeners to take action. The sixth principle deals with keeping calm in tough conversations. She recommends a 'three-chair' method: shifting perspectives between yourself, the other person, and a neutral observer. This helps depersonalize conflicts, keeping your influence intact under pressure.

The final principle is all about results. Preparation is key, but being adaptable in the moment—what the Greeks called 'kairos'—is what makes your preparation come alive. Goyder outlines techniques like the 'freeze-frame' to reset during stress, allowing you to respond with clarity and intention when stakes are high.

Goyder then applies these principles across common real-world scenarios. In presentations, she reframes the speaker as a guide, not the star. Preparation begins with dreaming big, then organizing information with the audience in mind, and finally editing with a critical eye. Presenters are encouraged to rehearse and refine delivery until it becomes second nature. Visualize success, use breath control, and remember that the best talks feel like meaningful gifts shared with the audience, not performances.

Meetings are another arena where gravitas makes a huge difference. Goyder sees many meetings as power games in disguise, but she shows how they can be reshaped into collaborative environments. Arriving early, knowing your material, and choosing your seat strategically can shift the dynamic before a word is spoken. During the meeting, being clear, focused, and respectful helps you steer the discussion without dominating it. She encourages balanced listening—hearing both information and emotion—so you can speak more effectively and maintain control of the narrative.

When it comes to phone calls, gravitas becomes all about the voice. Without visual cues, listeners rely on tone and energy. Goyder recommends using a warm, natural tone (like 'dark brown velvet'), and smiling while talking, as this subtly changes how your voice is received. Standing while speaking adds power to your tone, and preparation helps you keep things focused. A clear structure with a strong opening and ending keeps listeners engaged, even without face-to-face interaction.

In interviews and pitches, the key is authenticity blended with preparedness. Goyder stresses the importance of understanding your audience beforehand, crafting a strong vision, and keeping answers short, structured, and backed by real examples. Instead of memorizing scripts, she suggests using signposting and intentional pauses to sound clear and composed. Visualizing the interview as smaller than it seems, and approaching it with positive energy, can help reduce anxiety and boost performance.

Video appearances are another area Goyder covers in depth. Since the camera magnifies everything, you have to manage both your content and your presence. Preparation, energy, and grooming are essential. She shares tips using the acronym GRAVITAS—covering posture, voice, enthusiasm, and appearance. Speaking directly to the camera as if addressing one person personalizes your delivery and improves connection. You don’t need to be dramatic, just engaged and real. Matching your content to your passion helps viewers feel your authority and sincerity.

Throughout the book, Goyder reiterates that gravitas isn’t about being someone else—it’s about becoming more of who you already are, but in a more intentional, composed, and effective way. Her techniques are simple and actionable, with an emphasis on practice. The more you use them, the more second-nature they become, and the more natural your authority grows.

In conclusion, "Gravitas" is a practical and empowering guide to mastering presence and influence. Caroline Goyder shows that gravitas isn’t reserved for the elite or the extroverted—it’s something everyone can access with the right mindset and habits. Through self-awareness, strategic communication, and emotional control, you can develop a style of leadership that’s authentic, inspiring, and effective. Whether you’re giving a big presentation, handling a tense negotiation, or just trying to get your ideas across in a meeting, the tools in this book offer a way to show up with confidence, be heard clearly, and leave a lasting impression.

[Katherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has good advice on improving at public speaking (and communication generally) with advice from the author's actor coaching background. If you have goals like being taken more seriously, having more of a presence, or even conversely, coming across as less intimidating and more approachable instead, through using your voice and body language, I think the discussions here can be helpful.

The first few chapters hammer on the definition of gravitas and its Greek origins a bit too much for me, so if you feel generally confident in how you present yourself, just skip to the second part of the book (also it's < half) that has more practical tips of what to consider for various formats, like talks vs. meetings vs. being on the phone.

[Mexie Butler · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know how some people just have that look of being in control? Caroline Goyder does. She's studied the subject of 'gravitas' and come up with an excellent, practical book that breaks the notion down into understandable chunks, and provides practical, doable exercises to help the reader feel more in charge of themselves in any situation. It applies not only to occasions where one is in the limelight for a presentation of some sort, but also covers simple day-to-day interactions where we can either hold onto or give away our personal power. I found this a well-thought out book, concrete, realistic and sound.

[Adrian · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are many books on self improvement and self confidence, what distinguishes Gravitas is that it is about wearing confidence.
Gravitas is a principle, and Caroline lays out it's theoretical and practical approaches.
Without digressing into excessive detail, the essential point of this review is that Gravitas is immensely useful for anyone who wishes to improve their presentation, public speaking, interview skills and communication. Also particularly useful for anyone who attends Toastmasters.

[Zak · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a gem of book. It explains Gravitas in historical and modern contexts.

It clearly explains the seven principles and provides simple exercises to master each one. That is followed by a toolkit that provides examples of how to use the techniques in different situations.

I use it at work to remove the ‘fourth walls’ that exist between teams and business departments. I use it personally to make video voice-overs.

[Michael Wright · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is written as more of a toolkit reference manual. Whereas I feel like the message delivery should have been more engaging and challenging of the reader.

Maybe referring to historical great leaders and divulging their secrets or analysing famous fictional characters like Don Draper or Sherlock Holmes.

[Mr D T Wavell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great for soft skill learning.

Some great advice on some of the soft skills often not taught. Some of the suggestions will come naturally to some and be new to others. Useful for anyone working in the corporate world.

[Jason Alderson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Can't say I learnt anything that I didn't already know or wasn't obvious. Hey, maybe that means I've got natural gravitas. Result!

There are a lot of practical exercises in the book so I'm sure this would be useful for some people and the book is well written.

[Mark Booth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant

Full of really useful techniques and ways of thinking. Many of the theories and exercises will stay with me forever.

[Günter Richter · Rating 2 out of 5]

A little disappointing. Most of the content is fairly obvious and I felt that I came away from reading the book with less than I thought I would get.

[Pupsi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book with tangible exercises and perspectives.

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

General Overview
A great introduction to the field of public speaking, Gravitas has something to offer to veterans of the podium, and those who are taking their first steps up to it.

Style & Content
Written in two sections, the author, Caroline Goyder, has broken this book down into a section on the holistics of gravitas, of bearing and how you present yourself, and then a shorter section on practical tips and guides on particular scenarios that require your gravitas. This works particularly well, and means that you can cut to what you need to depending on your need.

Some of the tips and advice offered, are fairly expected. However, some are not, and I've already been able to apply a few to my public speaking so far. The whole book is very accessible. How it is structured, with focus at the end of each chapter on the key takeaways, is very useful.

There is a clear steer towards mindfulness in this book, which I believe is of great value to it. Call backs to the ancient Greeks and their writings on Gravitas are perfectly suited, of course, for this read, and really bring the whole piece together.

Final Thoughts
A worthwhile read for those looking to develop themselves as leaders, business people, or just how you present yourself.

[Ines · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book focus on why some people naturally capture your attention and easily address a crowd - how can you be more like them? I enjoyed it, even though I found the last sections more useful than the first ones. The only dull thing I noticed is that too many sentences are lost in dissecting words' origins. Not only meanings evolve with language, being someone who natively speaks a Romance language means I already know the meanings. Having said that, this book gives excellent hints and great pointers to be more confident, be a better public speaker, improve your meetings (both physically and virtually) and succeed in interviews.

Even if I am a confident public speaker, it is interesting to see why I do some things, why I force myself to smile before talking and so on. It is revealing to understand the little things I do, and helps me hone those skills to become a better speaker. Finally, I think this content works better as an audiobook than a book, the author is the narrator and Goyder is great atchaging intonation so you clearly listen to the differences in the spoken words when your posture changes.

[Adam Willis]

⚖️ Gravitas by Caroline Goyder
Gravitas (noun): Figuratively of persons, dignity, impressiveness, seriousness, weight, presence, influence.

Gravitas is about roots and wings.

“Perfect Virtue. These five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness.” ~ Confucius

In Ancient Rome the virtues of a good roman citizen included gravitas, kindness, hard work, self worth and a sense of humour.

Newtons Third Law of Motion: “For every push down, there must be an equal and opposite push upwards”

“If you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right”

Gravitas = Knowledge + Purpose + Passion - Anxiety
• Knowledge (Logos) Reason, logic
• Purpose (Ethos) Moral. values
• Passion (Pathos) Feeling, emotion

The Seven Principles of Gravitas:
• Principle One: Know yourself
• Principle Two: Teach people how to treat you
• Principle Three: Find your voice
• Principle Four: Speak so others listen
• Principle Five: Win hearts and minds
• Principle Six: Keep an open mind and level head
• Principle Seven: Get results

The Big Five Formal Spotlight Moments of Life:
• Presentations
• Meetings
• Teleconferences
• Interviews
• On Camera

[Rick Yagodich · Rating 1 out of 5]

My introduction to Caroline Goyder was, I beleive, a TED talk. And it was good enough that I followed it up by adding this work to my to-read list. But…

One would expect a book on the subject of gravitas to project a touch of… well, gravitas. It's a perfectly reasonable assumption, I believe.

This book fails at this most basic task of self-reference. The writing is simplistic, almost childish. The logic and structure is slipshod, jumping around in an effort to divert from the all to obvious fact that it doesn't appear to be built on any kind of foundation.

Also - and I didn't manage to get far enough to completely verify this - it appears from early hints that this is yet anohter of those books that tries to claim everyone speaks the same version of body language. (Which, if such were the case, why would so many books spend so much time trying to teach everyone to speak that same version that they allegedly… well, you get the logical fallacy.)

[Pawel Grzybek · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a constant joker! Most of the time there's nothing bad about this, but in a senior-level position in a big software company, some level of seriousness can be helpful. The power to be a great communicator lies somewhere in-between, doesn't it?

I decided to dedicate some time to find that sweet spot and picked up “Gravitas: Communicate with Confidence, Influence and Authority” by Caroline Goyder. It was a great choice! It's a combination of bite-sized chapters about multiple subjects involved in finding your own “gravitas”. A great read for everyone who is willing to enhance their influence, become a better writer or perhaps a public speaker or presenter. It is very well written but for fans of audiobooks, I can assure you that Caroline's voice on the Audible version is pleasant and easy to listen to.

https://pawelgrzybek.com/book-review-...

[Synthia Salomon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here’s a great book that anyone can benefit from reading.

Why?

anyone can develop gravitas with some practice. 

When you break it down with the equation Knowledge + Purpose + Passion - Anxiety = Gravitas, you can focus on improving each part of your presence step by step. There are seven principles that provide a roadmap here: know yourself, teach others how to treat you, find your voice, speak so others listen, win hearts and minds, keep an open mind, and get results. These principles apply to any communication context, from formal presentations to everyday conversations. 

By pairing self-awareness with effective communication skills and a real passion for what you’re saying, you’ll naturally create a presence that grabs attention and inspires others to follow. Start small, keep practicing, and watch your gravitas grow!

[Siim · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a well-researched and practical book on how to build more gravitas up to the level that the situation demands. There is always a balance to be struck between how analytical and how passionate you want to be in a given situation. But there are definitely a lot of things that I can improve so I can go into conversations, both public and private, with more confidence. As the author says, if you are prepared (have acted on your intention), you can give your full attention here and now, which leads to results.

The 7 principles of gravitas, according to Caroline Goyder, are:
1. Know yourself
2. Teach people how to treat you
3. Find your voice
4. Speak so others will listen
5. Win hearts and minds
6. Keep an open mind and a level head
7. Results = intention + attention

[Dusica M]

Ima dosta zanimljivih saveta. Podeljena su poglavlja po situacijama u kojima bi iskoristio znanje iz ove knjige. Na primer kako se pripremiti za razgovor, sastanak, prezentaciju, telefonski poziv itd. Dosta sam preskakala jer se neke stvari ponavljaju. Preporucila bih knjigu u fizickom obliku, posto je tesko zapamtiti (ili premotati) audio knjigu.

Saveti su uobicajeni: "razmisli pre nego sto odgovoris", "budi samopouzdan" i slicno. Ali svidja mi se sto je u knjizi receno da svaki dan treba da pokusas nesto novo da integrises u svoj govor i da probas razne nacine prezentovanja, pa ces vremenom shvatiti sta ti odgovara i sta ti manjka.