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Dear Sister: A Memoir of Secrets, Survival, and Unbreakable Bonds
Dear Sister explores the ripple effects of domestic violence and criminalized survival told through the story of two Nikki Addimando, incarcerated for killing her abuser, and the author, Michelle Horton, who is left in the devastating fall-out, raising her sister's young children and battling the criminal justice system. In September 2017, a knock on the door upended Michelle Horton’s she learned that her sister had killed her partner, had been hiding horrific violence for years, and was now in jail. To try and make sense of it all, Michelle retraces the sisters’ steps through childhood and explores how so many people were blind to the abuse. In the aftermath of the tragedy, Michelle rearranges her life to care for Nikki's children and, over time, launches a fight to bring Nikki home — all while coping with layers of loss and injustice, and being ensnared in a criminal justice system that punishes the entire family. Dear Sister is a story about The nature of truth, the danger of keeping truths hidden, and Michelle's search for truth while picking up the pieces of a shattered reality. It's a story about An intimate look into the lives of a family surviving trauma in real time. But more than anything, it is a story about hope. And the miraculous experience of witnessing the darkest times illuminated by the light of community, the discovery of spiritual strength, and the unbreakable maternal bond between Michelle's incarcerated sister and her children.
400 pages, Paperback
First published January 30, 2024
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14001 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 590 reviews
December 15, 2023
I hope the world listens to this 💜💜💜
March 6, 2025
5 stars!
Shocking, informative and well-written!
This memoir follows the case of Nicole (Nikki) Addimando who, in 2017, shot and killed her partner and father of her children after suffering years of domestic violence and abuse. Michelle Horton, the author of this book and Nikki’s sister, took in Nikki’s children after her arrest and began her daily fight for justice for her sister.
This book is extremely well written. I was hanging on every word. It is a factual based telling of real life events but I also felt the emotion, stress, frustration, endless hope and disappointment on every page. The pace and flow were strong and steady and kept my interest from start to finish. This case experience within the broken court system was so extremely disturbing.
I knew absolutely nothing about this case prior to picking up this book. Perhaps that is one of the reasons I was so greatly impacted by it. I was learning the details of the case for the first time when reading these pages, so there was a lot of shock factor for me. This case is gut wrenching and extremely hard to read in places. But the sisterly bond, dedication and love shines brightly throughout.
As I finished this book, I was left with the thought of…what happens to the victims who don’t have the intense love and support of someone like Michelle Horton? Michelle is a true hero and inspiration.
This was an incredible memoir that I highly recommend.
⚠️ There are a plethora of trigger warnings with this book. Please review them before picking this up.
Thank you to the publisher for my finished copy!
Shocking, informative and well-written!
This memoir follows the case of Nicole (Nikki) Addimando who, in 2017, shot and killed her partner and father of her children after suffering years of domestic violence and abuse. Michelle Horton, the author of this book and Nikki’s sister, took in Nikki’s children after her arrest and began her daily fight for justice for her sister.
This book is extremely well written. I was hanging on every word. It is a factual based telling of real life events but I also felt the emotion, stress, frustration, endless hope and disappointment on every page. The pace and flow were strong and steady and kept my interest from start to finish. This case experience within the broken court system was so extremely disturbing.
I knew absolutely nothing about this case prior to picking up this book. Perhaps that is one of the reasons I was so greatly impacted by it. I was learning the details of the case for the first time when reading these pages, so there was a lot of shock factor for me. This case is gut wrenching and extremely hard to read in places. But the sisterly bond, dedication and love shines brightly throughout.
As I finished this book, I was left with the thought of…what happens to the victims who don’t have the intense love and support of someone like Michelle Horton? Michelle is a true hero and inspiration.
This was an incredible memoir that I highly recommend.
⚠️ There are a plethora of trigger warnings with this book. Please review them before picking this up.
Thank you to the publisher for my finished copy!
July 2, 2025
Powerful, horrifying, and tragic. Michelle Horton's book, Dear Sister: A Memoir of Secrets, Survival, and Unbreakable Bonds captures the terrifying life of her sister, Nikki Addimando. Addimando was arrested in September 2017 for killing her boyfriend, Chris.
Addimando and her boyfriend had two young children who went to live with Horton while their Mom was incarcerated. There was a mountain of documented evidence of sexual abuse, beatings, burnings, and death threats by Chris to Addimando. Much of the abuse was beyond imaginable.
Horton never saw signs of domestic abuse, although her sister began wearing full length pants and long-sleeved shirts regardless of the season. Horton references the book, No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us which provides eye-opening statistics and critical information. The Burning Bed: The True Story of an Abused Wife is also mentioned; a movie was made with the same name.
I listened to Dear Sister: A Memoir of Secrets, Survival, and Unbreakable Bonds on audiobook. It is narrated superbly by the author. There are several audio clips of phone calls from prison between Addimando and her two young children, including one on Christmas morning.
Horton has become a vocal champion and advocate against domestic violence.
Highly recommend; content is tough to read and listen to at times, but it's important to know the signs of abuse and how to help.
Addimando and her boyfriend had two young children who went to live with Horton while their Mom was incarcerated. There was a mountain of documented evidence of sexual abuse, beatings, burnings, and death threats by Chris to Addimando. Much of the abuse was beyond imaginable.
Horton never saw signs of domestic abuse, although her sister began wearing full length pants and long-sleeved shirts regardless of the season. Horton references the book, No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us which provides eye-opening statistics and critical information. The Burning Bed: The True Story of an Abused Wife is also mentioned; a movie was made with the same name.
I listened to Dear Sister: A Memoir of Secrets, Survival, and Unbreakable Bonds on audiobook. It is narrated superbly by the author. There are several audio clips of phone calls from prison between Addimando and her two young children, including one on Christmas morning.
Horton has become a vocal champion and advocate against domestic violence.
Highly recommend; content is tough to read and listen to at times, but it's important to know the signs of abuse and how to help.
January 26, 2024
Dear Sister is a captivating memoir from Michelle Horton, sister of high-profile Nikki Addimando, incarcerated for killing her abuser. This is so incredibly well written, and takes a deep dive into the deeply flawed criminal justice system and process. I learned so, so much, and it has left me feeling even more enraged by the ways in which the U.S. justice system fails domestic violence victims.
I specifically requested this title (in hardcover and audio) as I'd recently watched a documentary on the case, and was most intrigued and eager to learn more.
I'll be honest: when I first started this book, I had a bad taste in my mouth about it. I thought: "How is this sister going to use her sister's experiences to capitalize?" It felt very self important, and almost exploitative. Afterall, this is Nikki's story to tell.
Though after finishing this book, I realize how incredibly wrong I was. This isn't just Nikki's story. This is Michelle's story, too - as sister, friend, and coparent. Michelle gets to have her own story, as her life and the life of her child were forever changed. This is Nikki's story as well, but through Michelle's lens. I guess I didn't quite understand the ways in which this journey impacted both sisters, which makes me most appreciative to have had the opportunity to read this book.
The audiobook is definitely the way to go here (or reading both simultaneously, as I did). Michelle narrates her own words here, and she does such a great job! The audiobook includes snippets of audio recordings: phone calls, home video, etc. This is a nice touch and really adds to the overall experience.
I highly, highly recommend this book. Its not one I'll soon forget, and I thank GCP and Hachette Audio for my gifted copies.
Available soon! (1/30)
I specifically requested this title (in hardcover and audio) as I'd recently watched a documentary on the case, and was most intrigued and eager to learn more.
I'll be honest: when I first started this book, I had a bad taste in my mouth about it. I thought: "How is this sister going to use her sister's experiences to capitalize?" It felt very self important, and almost exploitative. Afterall, this is Nikki's story to tell.
Though after finishing this book, I realize how incredibly wrong I was. This isn't just Nikki's story. This is Michelle's story, too - as sister, friend, and coparent. Michelle gets to have her own story, as her life and the life of her child were forever changed. This is Nikki's story as well, but through Michelle's lens. I guess I didn't quite understand the ways in which this journey impacted both sisters, which makes me most appreciative to have had the opportunity to read this book.
The audiobook is definitely the way to go here (or reading both simultaneously, as I did). Michelle narrates her own words here, and she does such a great job! The audiobook includes snippets of audio recordings: phone calls, home video, etc. This is a nice touch and really adds to the overall experience.
I highly, highly recommend this book. Its not one I'll soon forget, and I thank GCP and Hachette Audio for my gifted copies.
Available soon! (1/30)
December 3, 2023
Note: I received a free digital advanced review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Every time I sit down to type a review of this book, I get choked up. I step away, try to compose myself, and come back a few hours later. This has happened several times.
Michelle Horton’s sister, Nikki Addimando, is a criminalized survivor of domestic violence. Michelle only learned about Nikki’s years-long severe abuse the night that Nikki, in self-defense and to protect her 2 toddlers, shot and killed her abusive partner. This book is Michelle’s account of how it affected her and her son and Nikki’s traumatized kids who came to live with them.
I am very familiar with this case. I thought I knew most of it. Not only was I mistaken about that but I was woefully ignorant of the depth and breadth of the impact of this on Michelle. She writes eloquently of the day-to-day chaos suddenly injected into her life - emotional chaos, calendar chaos, financial chaos, physical chaos, professional chaos, social chaos. There is no sense of self-pity in her story, yet it is very personal and raw. It was difficult to put down and I hope to read about how these remarkable sisters move forward.
Despite the intense emotionality of the book, I found it quite hopeful - a smart, warm, articulate, capable community seemed to have sprung up spontaneously around Michelle to help her with so much of the rough and challenging work that needed doing. Her love for her son, nephew and niece is unwavering, even when she doesn’t know how to talk about this very complicated and delicate situation. Michelle’s devotion to and support of her incarcerated sister is unwavering. They are both dear sisters.
Every time I sit down to type a review of this book, I get choked up. I step away, try to compose myself, and come back a few hours later. This has happened several times.
Michelle Horton’s sister, Nikki Addimando, is a criminalized survivor of domestic violence. Michelle only learned about Nikki’s years-long severe abuse the night that Nikki, in self-defense and to protect her 2 toddlers, shot and killed her abusive partner. This book is Michelle’s account of how it affected her and her son and Nikki’s traumatized kids who came to live with them.
I am very familiar with this case. I thought I knew most of it. Not only was I mistaken about that but I was woefully ignorant of the depth and breadth of the impact of this on Michelle. She writes eloquently of the day-to-day chaos suddenly injected into her life - emotional chaos, calendar chaos, financial chaos, physical chaos, professional chaos, social chaos. There is no sense of self-pity in her story, yet it is very personal and raw. It was difficult to put down and I hope to read about how these remarkable sisters move forward.
Despite the intense emotionality of the book, I found it quite hopeful - a smart, warm, articulate, capable community seemed to have sprung up spontaneously around Michelle to help her with so much of the rough and challenging work that needed doing. Her love for her son, nephew and niece is unwavering, even when she doesn’t know how to talk about this very complicated and delicate situation. Michelle’s devotion to and support of her incarcerated sister is unwavering. They are both dear sisters.
February 5, 2024
Five stars because it’s an important, infuriating, heartbreaking story. But it is NO an easy story to read. Our criminal justice system is broken. Poughkeepsie and dutchess county should be ashamed of themselves; they’re not. How anyone could question the validity of Nikki’s story is beyond me. The only way it’s possible is through sheer force of ignorance or willfulness. It’s WHY women don’t come forward. Nikki’s bravery in her choices and willingness to share her story through her sister is a real testament to the woman she is. We are lucky she is still here.
January 30, 2024
This touched my soul in a way I did not expect. It made me incredibly angry, while it also soothed me. I wanted to jump up and scream, but also curl up and be quiet with my own family. The strength and courage of both Nikki and Michelle, as well as their young children, blew my mind.
I am awestruck by these incredibly strong women. Thank you for telling their story Michelle.
I am awestruck by these incredibly strong women. Thank you for telling their story Michelle.
December 20, 2023
I don't really have words. Just read it.
February 5, 2024
If Ezra Pound is a master of imagery, Michelle Horton is a master of the intangible world of thoughts and feelings, anguish, grief, confusion and even hope. She takes them from the rattling in her bones and makes them real enough for us to feel along with her. She names it and offers it and guides us around this world, never letting go of our hands.
Horton zooms in and out of the tumult. We are invited into her home, her car, her thoughts, literal seconds of her days. And through it all she, like her sister, reminds of the invisible string that ties it all together—not just the hearts of loved ones but the stories that weave through the scenes of our lives.
All the while revealing hard truths about a world all of us hope not to have to understand—the criminal justice system. But maybe that’s part of the point. Maybe it’s time we examine the worlds we often ignore.
Horton zooms in and out of the tumult. We are invited into her home, her car, her thoughts, literal seconds of her days. And through it all she, like her sister, reminds of the invisible string that ties it all together—not just the hearts of loved ones but the stories that weave through the scenes of our lives.
All the while revealing hard truths about a world all of us hope not to have to understand—the criminal justice system. But maybe that’s part of the point. Maybe it’s time we examine the worlds we often ignore.
July 29, 2023
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
I hadn't heard of this case before requesting this book and I kept myself from googling any information so I could go into this with no background information.
This is such an important book about domestic violence and victims who are not believed. It's appalling how this trial went even though it seems like there was a ton of proof in the defence's side. How heartbreaking for her children. But the author is doing a remarkable job and has a great support system in place for her sister and family.
I hadn't heard of this case before requesting this book and I kept myself from googling any information so I could go into this with no background information.
This is such an important book about domestic violence and victims who are not believed. It's appalling how this trial went even though it seems like there was a ton of proof in the defence's side. How heartbreaking for her children. But the author is doing a remarkable job and has a great support system in place for her sister and family.
December 15, 2023
Michelle Horton’s memoir tells the story of a family ripped apart by domestic violence and the criminal justice system that failed them. “Dear Sister” begins the night Michelle learns her sister, Nikki Addimando, shot her partner who was the father of Nikki’s two young children after suffering years of incredible physical, sexual and mental abuse. Michelle’s world is turned upside down as she tries to process the secrets that Nikki kept and her guilt for not realizing what had been taking place for years. Michelle is thrust into the role of legal advocate for Nikki as well as caregiver for her two children while caring for her own son having recently separated from her own addictive husband. The failure of the legal system to believe Nikki’s story and the vindictive actions of the prosecution to deprive Nikki of proper legal counsel are astounding but unfortunately believable for many domestic violence survivors. The book is part legal thriller coupled with Michelle’s seemingly insurmountable day-to-day challenges of keeping the family together while supporting Nikki in jail and then prison. It is hard to fathom how one’s world can change so dramatically overnight. Michelle tells their heartbreaking story with incredible courage and honesty and leaves the reader with hope for a future when the family will be reunited. Everyone should have a sister like Michelle and no one should need one like Nikki did.
May 14, 2024
Dear Sister is a sad but the story of the spousal abuse, torture, and sexual exploitation of Nikki Addimando, and the resulting effects that it had on her psyche.
While I did enjoy the narrative and shock value, I think that story would have had more of an impact had it been told from Nikki’s point of view. Not that author Horton didn’t convey the emotional and turbulent times that the families had to endure, but I felt that the storyline focused more on the author rather than the victim, Nikki. I actually would have wanted more on what prompted the shooting that fateful day. Was it desperation? Or was it a culmination of everything?
A little off-putting for me were the diablogues of the children — Nikki’s and Michelle’s. The language seemed to mature for their age groups and it made the story a little too over the top. I couldn’t imagine a three year old speaking like an adult. But who am I to judge.
In any event, Dear Sister was an interesting read. Three stars.
I received a DRC from Grand Central Publishing. This review is completely my own and reflects my honest thoughts and opinions.
While I did enjoy the narrative and shock value, I think that story would have had more of an impact had it been told from Nikki’s point of view. Not that author Horton didn’t convey the emotional and turbulent times that the families had to endure, but I felt that the storyline focused more on the author rather than the victim, Nikki. I actually would have wanted more on what prompted the shooting that fateful day. Was it desperation? Or was it a culmination of everything?
A little off-putting for me were the diablogues of the children — Nikki’s and Michelle’s. The language seemed to mature for their age groups and it made the story a little too over the top. I couldn’t imagine a three year old speaking like an adult. But who am I to judge.
In any event, Dear Sister was an interesting read. Three stars.
I received a DRC from Grand Central Publishing. This review is completely my own and reflects my honest thoughts and opinions.
February 28, 2024
This book was so incredibly well-written and was such a gut-wrenching and powerful account of Nikki and her family's lives over the past seven+ years. Plan to have a box of tissues nearby when you read this. This should be required reading for everyone.
Read
April 20, 2024I think I'm not going to give memoirs a star rating anymore. This was a book club pick and a difficult read due to the subject matter.
Nikki's story is heartbreaking and the book certainly makes you wonder about the legal system. A lot of problems could be solved if people looked at situations logically and got together to determine what the best outcome could be for all parties involved.
I had empathy for the position the author, Michelle, was put in after her sister was arrested for murder. That being said, for a book as long as this one, I don't think Michelle did a good job explaining how Nikki got convicted. The actual trial is given only a few pages and she leaves out a lot of the evidence the State used against Nikki. I couldn't understand how Nikki could have been convicted based on the evidence Michelle shared with the reader. I looked up the case on my own and got a better idea about how the trial went.
I also wish Michelle spoke about her dad more. He always seemed to be in the background, but not really involved. Where was his outrage for the abuse his daughter suffered?
I don't know that I would recommend this book, but it certainly made for an interesting and thought-provoking book club discussion.
Nikki's story is heartbreaking and the book certainly makes you wonder about the legal system. A lot of problems could be solved if people looked at situations logically and got together to determine what the best outcome could be for all parties involved.
I had empathy for the position the author, Michelle, was put in after her sister was arrested for murder. That being said, for a book as long as this one, I don't think Michelle did a good job explaining how Nikki got convicted. The actual trial is given only a few pages and she leaves out a lot of the evidence the State used against Nikki. I couldn't understand how Nikki could have been convicted based on the evidence Michelle shared with the reader. I looked up the case on my own and got a better idea about how the trial went.
I also wish Michelle spoke about her dad more. He always seemed to be in the background, but not really involved. Where was his outrage for the abuse his daughter suffered?
I don't know that I would recommend this book, but it certainly made for an interesting and thought-provoking book club discussion.
May 5, 2025
This book was beautiful, heartbreaking, emotional, tragic and heartwarming all at once. This is a story that is hard to hear but needs to be told, listened to and understood.
People need to be enlightened on the grave injustices and revictimization abuse survivors endure by the ‘justice system’ that is supposed to help them.
When they stand up and save their own life they are looked as liars or aggressors. Prosecutors turn abusers into victims and victims into defendants. They preserve the abusers image instead of portraying them as the monsters they are. The system doesnt want justice, they want a conviction at any cost.
Nichole endures years of abuse at the hands of the father of her children, this abuse is well documented, yet she still finds herself fighting for her life for a second time against a system hell bent on making someone pay.
“Who wins in a system that degrades, a system that is violent. Who wins when someone who causes harm is taken away from their community, put into an unsafe environment and then returned to society with more trauma then they had going in. Prison is the embodiment of our choosing punishment over accountability, retraumatization over rehabilitation. No one wins, only the oppressors.”
People need to be enlightened on the grave injustices and revictimization abuse survivors endure by the ‘justice system’ that is supposed to help them.
When they stand up and save their own life they are looked as liars or aggressors. Prosecutors turn abusers into victims and victims into defendants. They preserve the abusers image instead of portraying them as the monsters they are. The system doesnt want justice, they want a conviction at any cost.
Nichole endures years of abuse at the hands of the father of her children, this abuse is well documented, yet she still finds herself fighting for her life for a second time against a system hell bent on making someone pay.
“Who wins in a system that degrades, a system that is violent. Who wins when someone who causes harm is taken away from their community, put into an unsafe environment and then returned to society with more trauma then they had going in. Prison is the embodiment of our choosing punishment over accountability, retraumatization over rehabilitation. No one wins, only the oppressors.”
February 1, 2025
I only have two things to say:
FUCK YOU CHANA KRAUSS.
FUCK YOU DUTCHESS COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE.
———- Long and Personal Review - not edited. It’s a ranting mess atm. Will clean it up later.
“The facts of a case matter less than what the jury believes about the story,” (p. 241).
“I felt broken, but the birds were still chirping. The world was going on as if nothing had happened,” (p. 274).
there's something wild growing inside me
thriving still despite it all.
for years it hid in the shadow of Fear.
a vine, climbing the dark corners of my home.
ts prickly stalk grew around my lungs.
strangled the words out of my throat
well, they cut it down when they tried to
break me, but they didn't realize
how deep my roots go
they spread my seeds when they forced me open,
and now we are growing wild, purple flowers. 281
I’m talking about the innocent being accused and forced into a trial.
As a person who has experienced both, domestic violence and the criminal justice system / court case, (not directly but witnessed it - secondhand trauma) I can’t say I was shocked by this book. This isn’t a unique story and THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU ANGRY. I’d say it is unique in the amount of documented abuse and rape and people who knew she was being abused. Yet they still called her a liar because Chris was just too nice. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I’ve experienced the DA’s who lie to get a conviction, courts who are never held accountable, and judges who carry their own biases into the court room. Our system is so fked on all levels.
There are no fair trials - not when the courts are rigged against the accused. Juries tend to believe the prosecutors. The prosecutors usually rely on lies and hide or distort the truth. This is the truth of our world people. Wake up. I only hope you or your family never has to experience what it’s like to try and live a life while all this is happening in the background.
Trials aren’t about the truth or about what truly happened. The coverups, shifting of blame, and inability to ever look bad is at the core center of our courts. The system is broken. This goes for a myriad of supposed crimes - not those just against abused women. But this is a large majority of where the courts fail women and children on a daily basis.
This book broke my heart. I remember Nikki’s story from one of the crime shows - 20/20, 48 hours, Dateline - I can’t remember which. I remember being really confused. And I’m really disappointed that a certain narrative was pushed so hard. I remember feeling like I didn’t know the true story and the story they gave us was one big jumbled mess. Claiming Nikki was a master manipulator who abused herself vs an abused woman who suffered the worst kind of violence. It was too much to process.
I’m grateful this book made its way to my house. It’ll live in my heart. For little Ben and Faye they’ll always be those 2 and 4 year olds to me. Broken and confused.
I pray Nikki finds her peace in this world. Your fire burns bright and you will help change so many people’s lives. I couldn’t help but to think back on all my childhood trauma. I wonder what things would have looked like if I had had a grown up like Michelle around. I feel sad she lost that precious time with her own child. But she stepped up when those babies needed her. They only have a shot at a normal life because of Michelle. And Nikki’s love for them.
I think I could write my own book about my reactions to reading this book. Seriously. 21 pages of notes taken. So many tears shed. And as sad and heartbreaking this book is I’m glad I got to know Michelle, Nikki, Noah, Faye, and Ben through this book. And all the other important people.
This is an important book and I urge you to give it a read.
FUCK YOU CHANA KRAUSS.
FUCK YOU DUTCHESS COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE.
———- Long and Personal Review - not edited. It’s a ranting mess atm. Will clean it up later.
“The facts of a case matter less than what the jury believes about the story,” (p. 241).
“I felt broken, but the birds were still chirping. The world was going on as if nothing had happened,” (p. 274).
there's something wild growing inside me
thriving still despite it all.
for years it hid in the shadow of Fear.
a vine, climbing the dark corners of my home.
ts prickly stalk grew around my lungs.
strangled the words out of my throat
well, they cut it down when they tried to
break me, but they didn't realize
how deep my roots go
they spread my seeds when they forced me open,
and now we are growing wild, purple flowers. 281
I’m talking about the innocent being accused and forced into a trial.
As a person who has experienced both, domestic violence and the criminal justice system / court case, (not directly but witnessed it - secondhand trauma) I can’t say I was shocked by this book. This isn’t a unique story and THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU ANGRY. I’d say it is unique in the amount of documented abuse and rape and people who knew she was being abused. Yet they still called her a liar because Chris was just too nice. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I’ve experienced the DA’s who lie to get a conviction, courts who are never held accountable, and judges who carry their own biases into the court room. Our system is so fked on all levels.
There are no fair trials - not when the courts are rigged against the accused. Juries tend to believe the prosecutors. The prosecutors usually rely on lies and hide or distort the truth. This is the truth of our world people. Wake up. I only hope you or your family never has to experience what it’s like to try and live a life while all this is happening in the background.
Trials aren’t about the truth or about what truly happened. The coverups, shifting of blame, and inability to ever look bad is at the core center of our courts. The system is broken. This goes for a myriad of supposed crimes - not those just against abused women. But this is a large majority of where the courts fail women and children on a daily basis.
This book broke my heart. I remember Nikki’s story from one of the crime shows - 20/20, 48 hours, Dateline - I can’t remember which. I remember being really confused. And I’m really disappointed that a certain narrative was pushed so hard. I remember feeling like I didn’t know the true story and the story they gave us was one big jumbled mess. Claiming Nikki was a master manipulator who abused herself vs an abused woman who suffered the worst kind of violence. It was too much to process.
I’m grateful this book made its way to my house. It’ll live in my heart. For little Ben and Faye they’ll always be those 2 and 4 year olds to me. Broken and confused.
I pray Nikki finds her peace in this world. Your fire burns bright and you will help change so many people’s lives. I couldn’t help but to think back on all my childhood trauma. I wonder what things would have looked like if I had had a grown up like Michelle around. I feel sad she lost that precious time with her own child. But she stepped up when those babies needed her. They only have a shot at a normal life because of Michelle. And Nikki’s love for them.
I think I could write my own book about my reactions to reading this book. Seriously. 21 pages of notes taken. So many tears shed. And as sad and heartbreaking this book is I’m glad I got to know Michelle, Nikki, Noah, Faye, and Ben through this book. And all the other important people.
This is an important book and I urge you to give it a read.
February 19, 2024
This book beautifully balances the unimaginable failure of a criminal justice system to enhance safety for Domestic violence victims, the lengths the system will go
To not expose their failures by convicting victims to
Life when they are faced with kill or be killed, and an author who transparently shows the impact of not believing/seeing the abuse your loved one suffers while standing right in front of you. It is a must read for us all! As we all can see ourselves somewhere within this book!
To not expose their failures by convicting victims to
Life when they are faced with kill or be killed, and an author who transparently shows the impact of not believing/seeing the abuse your loved one suffers while standing right in front of you. It is a must read for us all! As we all can see ourselves somewhere within this book!
January 27, 2024
This audiobook, narrated by author, Michelle Horton was absolutely amazing. This is the story of Nikki Addimando told in the form of a memoir from her sister, Michelle’s point of view.. In September, 2017 Nikki shot her partner and was incarcerated. The investigation reveals that Nikki had been horrifically physically and sexually abused for years. Michelle tells about their experiences with the criminal justice system that ensued. You even hear real audio from Nikki and her family from that time.
This story hit close to home for me for many reasons. I am from upstate NY, just a few hours from Poughkeepsie where this all took place. I remember hearing and reading about this story on the news. I am also a survivor of domestic abuse and have come out on the other side. No one understands why abused men and women just don’t leave in these situations- especially those where children are involved. Here, we had a situation where Nikki seemingly did everything we tell survivors to do and it still wasn’t enough. Our society needs to hear this.
This is a heart wrenching story everyone should hear and understand. Michelle Horton tells this story eloquently and respectfully- respecting Nikki’s children’s and Chris Grover’s family and experiences, as well. This audiobook is just beautifully done and most certainly a 5 star read. I will recommend to everyone I know.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and Hachette Audio who provided me with this ARC of this audiobook in exchange for my honest thoughts and review. I am grateful for the opportunity.
This story hit close to home for me for many reasons. I am from upstate NY, just a few hours from Poughkeepsie where this all took place. I remember hearing and reading about this story on the news. I am also a survivor of domestic abuse and have come out on the other side. No one understands why abused men and women just don’t leave in these situations- especially those where children are involved. Here, we had a situation where Nikki seemingly did everything we tell survivors to do and it still wasn’t enough. Our society needs to hear this.
This is a heart wrenching story everyone should hear and understand. Michelle Horton tells this story eloquently and respectfully- respecting Nikki’s children’s and Chris Grover’s family and experiences, as well. This audiobook is just beautifully done and most certainly a 5 star read. I will recommend to everyone I know.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and Hachette Audio who provided me with this ARC of this audiobook in exchange for my honest thoughts and review. I am grateful for the opportunity.
May 3, 2024
I have so much to say about this one. First, as a disclaimer, I 100% believe that Nikki was abused horribly by Chris. He was an evil person, and that’s not up for debate here.
I think Michelle probably should have waited a few years to write this book. It seems to me that her wounds from the years covered in the book are just too fresh. Of course, this is one of those situations where you can’t know how YOU would act until something like this actually happens to you, but some of Michelle’s choices were head scratchers for me. For example, sending her dad to pick up her son from school during Nikki’s sentencing, causing her dad to miss it instead of her. (Yes, really, and this is just one example). Her confusion over Chris’ parents grief and anger also felt a little self-centered - whether Nikki’s actions were right or wrong, of course Chris’ family was upset that their son was killed.
At the end of the day I appreciate Michelle’s desire to do right by her sister and her commitment to her family, I just don’t think she had processed these events thoroughly enough to write a book on it.
I think Michelle probably should have waited a few years to write this book. It seems to me that her wounds from the years covered in the book are just too fresh. Of course, this is one of those situations where you can’t know how YOU would act until something like this actually happens to you, but some of Michelle’s choices were head scratchers for me. For example, sending her dad to pick up her son from school during Nikki’s sentencing, causing her dad to miss it instead of her. (Yes, really, and this is just one example). Her confusion over Chris’ parents grief and anger also felt a little self-centered - whether Nikki’s actions were right or wrong, of course Chris’ family was upset that their son was killed.
At the end of the day I appreciate Michelle’s desire to do right by her sister and her commitment to her family, I just don’t think she had processed these events thoroughly enough to write a book on it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 17, 2025
I thought the last memoir I read was emotional, but this one surpasses the other one by far. Imagine being abused by your partner and the father of your two children. Nikki was seeing therapists and confiding in a couple of close friends. They were trying to help her move out. But before she could make the break, Nikki must kill her partner or be killed by him.
Nikki’s sister, Michelle, wrote this heart-wrenching book about the ridiculous legal system that convicted her sister to nine and a half years to life for the murder of the father of her children. The court system did not believe she was being abused. I was so angry reading the evidence and the statements and actions by the prosecutors. Unbelievable during these last few years!
Just a warning - there are graphic portrayals of the abuse that Nikki suffered from.
Nikki’s sister, Michelle, wrote this heart-wrenching book about the ridiculous legal system that convicted her sister to nine and a half years to life for the murder of the father of her children. The court system did not believe she was being abused. I was so angry reading the evidence and the statements and actions by the prosecutors. Unbelievable during these last few years!
Just a warning - there are graphic portrayals of the abuse that Nikki suffered from.
February 7, 2024
Thank you NetGaley for providing a free Advanced Reader Copy in exchange for an honest review. Any included direct quotes are taken from the final published version.
I have to apologize to the author for taking so long to review this book. This is a very difficult read, but an important one. If you decide to pick this up, give yourself plenty of time and plenty of love, because you're not gonna be happy when you learn how the American judicial system abuses, further victimizes, and takes revenge on victims who survive prolonged sexual assault.
A brief summary of the case: Nikki Addimando was a 29-year-old woman who in 2017 shot her long term boyfriend and the father of her two children; Addimando claimed her boyfriend had threatened to kill her and then commit suicide. The police was aware that her boyfriend had been brutally sexually assaulting her, filming the assault, and uploading it on pornhub for years; they even intended investigating him after Nikki was too scared to help them. Initially the local prosecution was very understanding and led the family to believe they planned to either not press charges or to offer Nikki plenty of opportunities to defend herself in front of a grand jury. Everything went south however when the local prosecution decided it would be a conflict of interest to remain on the case. Chana Krauss, a prosecutor from a different county, with a (false) reputation for being reasonable and fair took over. Chana believe that Nikki was lying about the abuse and that Nikki had killed him because people were 'catching on to her lie' after CPS had been called to investigate why she was full of bruises. The prosecutor's arguments were: the boyfriend was likely sleeping when he was shot (no evidence of that); the weapon used to shoot him was wiped (proved to be false); the weapon was fired at close range (probably true, there were burn marks on the boyfriend's skin); Nikki planned the murder as evidence by a message written to a friend saying "I haven't figured out how to kill him yet" (if a text like this is evidence of murder I'm the most prolific killer known to man, because I express frustration in strong words); Nikki didn't leave her abuser therefore the abuse is false. Chana Kraus’ Team then proceeded to keep Nikki in prison way past the maximum allowed time without an indictment; remove her public defender when the lawyers requested that Nikki be indicted or released; demanded that Nikki (who was now free, awaiting a grand jury indictment) voluntarily surrender to the police and remain in jail while the grand jury convened, in exchange for a promise to be released on bail if an indictment was secured; declared Nikki a flight risk even though she had voluntarily surrendered and did everything in their prosecutorial power to deny bail; insisted at the trial that Nikki could not have been a real victim because she had been abused in the past and “lightning doesn't strike twice” (ignoring abundant literature that victims of early childhood sexual abuse are much more likely to be re abused later in life); altered the pre-sentencing report to remove any text confirming years of documented abuse that Nikki had endured at her boyfriend's hands; insisted that Nikki had “reluctantly consented” to the rapes; insisted that Nikki did not qualify as a domestic abuse survivor because she had ample opportunity to escape; sentenced her to 19 years to life in prison after a jury refused to believe Nikki, assuming that a victim would have already escaped her abuser; and finally, the appellate court decided that enough was enough, and re sentenced Nikki to 7.5 years after confirming that she was indeed the victim of domestic abuse. Nikki Addimando was released in January 2024, weeks before this book was published.
The book is a harrowing and horrifying story of how shame is amplified by our judicial system. A system that rather than accepting their failures, will invest all the energy into excusing themselves, silencing witnesses and victims, taking revenge whenever they do not win what they want. Nikki’s story is unique because she had so many people who had seen bruises, burns, threatening emails received in real time from her boyfriend, as well as unimpeachable evidence of genital trauma (I'm talking vulva and rectum heavily bleeding and swollen shut from trauma, repeatedly recorded by professional nurses). A friend had even arrived at Nikki’s place just minutes or hours after she had been heavily beaten by her boyfriend, her ribs severely bruised; Nikki was immediately transported to a health facility, where it was confirmed that she had been beaten, and she was actively miscarrying. Weeks prior people have seen rope burns around her neck, and her eyes were red indicating that she had been strangled (mind you, she was pregnant still at the time). Nikki did not report any of these incidents to the police. There was never any evidence that she was in a relationship with another man, nor did anyone believed so. She had asked her friends to keep quiet about the incidents. And still the prosecution insisted that Nikki had made all of it up, because she was looking for attention, that she was a drama queen, that she was the abuser, that she had faked her injuries (including a bite mark on her shoulder that she couldn’t have done to herself) and that she had “reluctantly consented” to the rape performed and recorded on screen and in medical records. You can’t make this up.
Michelle Horton who is the author of this book, and Nikki’s sister, took over custody of Nikki’s two children and launched an intensive campaign to ensure her sister received justice. The author did an excellent job in describing all the horrific events that she uncovered, while remaining polite and trying not to get more attention from a vindictive prosecution. The writing style is succinct and understated. In the first third of the book I thought this might be a negative, but as the details of the abuse endured by Nikki at the hands of her partner and at the hands of the prosecutor unfolded on page, the writing style became the only optimal one. I don't believe I would have survived this book had it been any more emotional. The shocking part about this memoir is that Michelle, while noticing signs of physical injury, was not aware that her sister was being abused. This denial had persisted and been perpetuated in her family for years, ever since Nikki had been sexually assaulted at the tender age of five. Fortunately, the author immediately accepted that she had been blind to the years of abuse suffered by her sister at the hands of many men. Unfortunately, she hasn't completely unpacked the guilt. While I appreciated the discussion on why the family chose to stay quiet and blend in, there were parts that needed more deconstruction. I was for example extremely upset when the author was furious at Nikki’s friends for not having informed her about the abuse; at the 70% mark the author confirmed what I already knew from my own experience—which was that Nikki had told her family, specifically her mother, about the abuse as early as age five only to be ignored and told that she shouldn't cry wolf. I understand why the family thought this was the safest path forward. But I also know what it means to be an “Elizabeth” to a young woman who has been sexually abused as a child while her family insists that she is a drama queen. In reality the victims are shy and avoid attention. Michelle did not have the right to question Nikki’s friends for their decision to stay quiet. They knew, like I knew, that the family had failed Nikki. I am happy that the family did band around Nikki. I wish however that there was more accountability on their part. As this book very clearly illustrates, the judicial system will take many more decades until it will learn that further victimize a sexual assault victim is wrong. What can change and will change sooner is public perception. Further deconstruction, more accountability from the family, less excuses (like the one that other people saw the abuse because they were social workers) were much needed to educate the public. I do believe however that this book is an excellent discussion starting point, and I am extremely happy to see how many people take Nikki’s story, and Michele’s efforts to raise this extended family, seriously. It was heartwarming to see how much support had poured in. I don't believe the author needed to put so much effort in describing Nikki’s boyfriend as being a good man. I understand the reasoning: on the one side, she does not want the two young children to be further traumatized by what their father had done; at the same time I accept the reasoning that cultural toxic masculinity hurts men and instills aggressive behavior. But a man who penetrates his girlfriend with a gun is anything but a good person. Telling the young women he had coached that he is an abuser will not “destroy their lives,” but it might save them by teaching them to recognize early signs of abuse. Yes, abusers are charming. I know that, I grew up with one.
Although the book made me physically sick, I do believe it should be mandatory reading especially for future lawyers and law enforcement. Judicial rape needs to become anathema—and hopefully a career suicide. I hope people will remember the name Chana Kraus if she ever runs for an office; I hope they will pay back her unkindness by refusing her votes. I hope the people will remember the name Nicole Addimando when they discuss intimate partner violence, and the complicated process that is leaving an abusive relationship. And at the same time, I hope that people forget the name of her boyfriend. This is the reason why I never named him in this review. The only silver lining is the knowledge that Nikki’s children never asked for their father in the first weeks after their mother had been arrested. Keep this in mind: the first thing Nikki’s children did when they were able to visit her in prison was lift her shirt and see if she had any bruises. If you still doubt what has happened to her, I don't know what to say. But I sincerely hope you come to understand the complexities of abuse. I hope we all understand that it is much better to say “we made a mistake, we didn't protect you when you needed protection” rather than force women to remain quiet in abusive relationships. If we want future children to be safe, if you want children to grow up as healthy adults who avoid an unhealthy relationship and stay out of legal trouble, we need to act now. We need to listen to victims. We need to accept we may have been wrong. We need to help them heal!
I have to apologize to the author for taking so long to review this book. This is a very difficult read, but an important one. If you decide to pick this up, give yourself plenty of time and plenty of love, because you're not gonna be happy when you learn how the American judicial system abuses, further victimizes, and takes revenge on victims who survive prolonged sexual assault.
A brief summary of the case: Nikki Addimando was a 29-year-old woman who in 2017 shot her long term boyfriend and the father of her two children; Addimando claimed her boyfriend had threatened to kill her and then commit suicide. The police was aware that her boyfriend had been brutally sexually assaulting her, filming the assault, and uploading it on pornhub for years; they even intended investigating him after Nikki was too scared to help them. Initially the local prosecution was very understanding and led the family to believe they planned to either not press charges or to offer Nikki plenty of opportunities to defend herself in front of a grand jury. Everything went south however when the local prosecution decided it would be a conflict of interest to remain on the case. Chana Krauss, a prosecutor from a different county, with a (false) reputation for being reasonable and fair took over. Chana believe that Nikki was lying about the abuse and that Nikki had killed him because people were 'catching on to her lie' after CPS had been called to investigate why she was full of bruises. The prosecutor's arguments were: the boyfriend was likely sleeping when he was shot (no evidence of that); the weapon used to shoot him was wiped (proved to be false); the weapon was fired at close range (probably true, there were burn marks on the boyfriend's skin); Nikki planned the murder as evidence by a message written to a friend saying "I haven't figured out how to kill him yet" (if a text like this is evidence of murder I'm the most prolific killer known to man, because I express frustration in strong words); Nikki didn't leave her abuser therefore the abuse is false. Chana Kraus’ Team then proceeded to keep Nikki in prison way past the maximum allowed time without an indictment; remove her public defender when the lawyers requested that Nikki be indicted or released; demanded that Nikki (who was now free, awaiting a grand jury indictment) voluntarily surrender to the police and remain in jail while the grand jury convened, in exchange for a promise to be released on bail if an indictment was secured; declared Nikki a flight risk even though she had voluntarily surrendered and did everything in their prosecutorial power to deny bail; insisted at the trial that Nikki could not have been a real victim because she had been abused in the past and “lightning doesn't strike twice” (ignoring abundant literature that victims of early childhood sexual abuse are much more likely to be re abused later in life); altered the pre-sentencing report to remove any text confirming years of documented abuse that Nikki had endured at her boyfriend's hands; insisted that Nikki had “reluctantly consented” to the rapes; insisted that Nikki did not qualify as a domestic abuse survivor because she had ample opportunity to escape; sentenced her to 19 years to life in prison after a jury refused to believe Nikki, assuming that a victim would have already escaped her abuser; and finally, the appellate court decided that enough was enough, and re sentenced Nikki to 7.5 years after confirming that she was indeed the victim of domestic abuse. Nikki Addimando was released in January 2024, weeks before this book was published.
The book is a harrowing and horrifying story of how shame is amplified by our judicial system. A system that rather than accepting their failures, will invest all the energy into excusing themselves, silencing witnesses and victims, taking revenge whenever they do not win what they want. Nikki’s story is unique because she had so many people who had seen bruises, burns, threatening emails received in real time from her boyfriend, as well as unimpeachable evidence of genital trauma (I'm talking vulva and rectum heavily bleeding and swollen shut from trauma, repeatedly recorded by professional nurses). A friend had even arrived at Nikki’s place just minutes or hours after she had been heavily beaten by her boyfriend, her ribs severely bruised; Nikki was immediately transported to a health facility, where it was confirmed that she had been beaten, and she was actively miscarrying. Weeks prior people have seen rope burns around her neck, and her eyes were red indicating that she had been strangled (mind you, she was pregnant still at the time). Nikki did not report any of these incidents to the police. There was never any evidence that she was in a relationship with another man, nor did anyone believed so. She had asked her friends to keep quiet about the incidents. And still the prosecution insisted that Nikki had made all of it up, because she was looking for attention, that she was a drama queen, that she was the abuser, that she had faked her injuries (including a bite mark on her shoulder that she couldn’t have done to herself) and that she had “reluctantly consented” to the rape performed and recorded on screen and in medical records. You can’t make this up.
Michelle Horton who is the author of this book, and Nikki’s sister, took over custody of Nikki’s two children and launched an intensive campaign to ensure her sister received justice. The author did an excellent job in describing all the horrific events that she uncovered, while remaining polite and trying not to get more attention from a vindictive prosecution. The writing style is succinct and understated. In the first third of the book I thought this might be a negative, but as the details of the abuse endured by Nikki at the hands of her partner and at the hands of the prosecutor unfolded on page, the writing style became the only optimal one. I don't believe I would have survived this book had it been any more emotional. The shocking part about this memoir is that Michelle, while noticing signs of physical injury, was not aware that her sister was being abused. This denial had persisted and been perpetuated in her family for years, ever since Nikki had been sexually assaulted at the tender age of five. Fortunately, the author immediately accepted that she had been blind to the years of abuse suffered by her sister at the hands of many men. Unfortunately, she hasn't completely unpacked the guilt. While I appreciated the discussion on why the family chose to stay quiet and blend in, there were parts that needed more deconstruction. I was for example extremely upset when the author was furious at Nikki’s friends for not having informed her about the abuse; at the 70% mark the author confirmed what I already knew from my own experience—which was that Nikki had told her family, specifically her mother, about the abuse as early as age five only to be ignored and told that she shouldn't cry wolf. I understand why the family thought this was the safest path forward. But I also know what it means to be an “Elizabeth” to a young woman who has been sexually abused as a child while her family insists that she is a drama queen. In reality the victims are shy and avoid attention. Michelle did not have the right to question Nikki’s friends for their decision to stay quiet. They knew, like I knew, that the family had failed Nikki. I am happy that the family did band around Nikki. I wish however that there was more accountability on their part. As this book very clearly illustrates, the judicial system will take many more decades until it will learn that further victimize a sexual assault victim is wrong. What can change and will change sooner is public perception. Further deconstruction, more accountability from the family, less excuses (like the one that other people saw the abuse because they were social workers) were much needed to educate the public. I do believe however that this book is an excellent discussion starting point, and I am extremely happy to see how many people take Nikki’s story, and Michele’s efforts to raise this extended family, seriously. It was heartwarming to see how much support had poured in. I don't believe the author needed to put so much effort in describing Nikki’s boyfriend as being a good man. I understand the reasoning: on the one side, she does not want the two young children to be further traumatized by what their father had done; at the same time I accept the reasoning that cultural toxic masculinity hurts men and instills aggressive behavior. But a man who penetrates his girlfriend with a gun is anything but a good person. Telling the young women he had coached that he is an abuser will not “destroy their lives,” but it might save them by teaching them to recognize early signs of abuse. Yes, abusers are charming. I know that, I grew up with one.
Although the book made me physically sick, I do believe it should be mandatory reading especially for future lawyers and law enforcement. Judicial rape needs to become anathema—and hopefully a career suicide. I hope people will remember the name Chana Kraus if she ever runs for an office; I hope they will pay back her unkindness by refusing her votes. I hope the people will remember the name Nicole Addimando when they discuss intimate partner violence, and the complicated process that is leaving an abusive relationship. And at the same time, I hope that people forget the name of her boyfriend. This is the reason why I never named him in this review. The only silver lining is the knowledge that Nikki’s children never asked for their father in the first weeks after their mother had been arrested. Keep this in mind: the first thing Nikki’s children did when they were able to visit her in prison was lift her shirt and see if she had any bruises. If you still doubt what has happened to her, I don't know what to say. But I sincerely hope you come to understand the complexities of abuse. I hope we all understand that it is much better to say “we made a mistake, we didn't protect you when you needed protection” rather than force women to remain quiet in abusive relationships. If we want future children to be safe, if you want children to grow up as healthy adults who avoid an unhealthy relationship and stay out of legal trouble, we need to act now. We need to listen to victims. We need to accept we may have been wrong. We need to help them heal!
January 17, 2024
Wow, I honestly don’t think I can truly put into words the value and impact this book has had on me. While it only took me a few days to read, there wasn’t a day that went by while I was reading it that I wasn’t going back in my mind what I had just read that day. This raw, heartbreaking story had my jaw on the floor and made me reevaluate so many different aspects of my life. You never truly know what someone is going through, we all need to lead with more compassion and thoughtfulness. The court system needs major work and we need to continue to support now more than ever victims AND their families. Reading about not only what Nikki has had to endure but Michelle, their kids and their families is gut wrenching and beyond heartbreaking. Change is happening on all level and it makes me realize now more than ever authenticity and vulnerability are vital for this change to continue to progress. You need to read this book to understand my word vomit and the hundreds of valuable lessons that collectively we as a society can all benefit from.
January 18, 2024
What a heart-breaking true story.
Dear Sister is told by the sister of Nikki Addimando who killed her abuser. We learn about Nikki's abuse throughout her life as well as what happens from the time she is arrested to her final verdict. We also see what Michelle was doing to help her sister - taking care of Nikki's kids, finding lawyers, jail visits, raising funds.
This was such a hard book to read. This book showed me how hard it can be for domestic abuse victims to receive justice, even with a ton of evidence. It taught me that leaving isn't an event but a process. It also showed me how immoral and selfish the legal system can be. People want to protect their reputation, their jobs, and their winning streak more than doing what is right.
I recommend this book to people who want to learn more about what happens after you are arrested, how the legal system can work, and domestic violence cases
Dear Sister is told by the sister of Nikki Addimando who killed her abuser. We learn about Nikki's abuse throughout her life as well as what happens from the time she is arrested to her final verdict. We also see what Michelle was doing to help her sister - taking care of Nikki's kids, finding lawyers, jail visits, raising funds.
This was such a hard book to read. This book showed me how hard it can be for domestic abuse victims to receive justice, even with a ton of evidence. It taught me that leaving isn't an event but a process. It also showed me how immoral and selfish the legal system can be. People want to protect their reputation, their jobs, and their winning streak more than doing what is right.
I recommend this book to people who want to learn more about what happens after you are arrested, how the legal system can work, and domestic violence cases
January 18, 2024
I just finished an advance copy of this book in order to prepare for a segment we are producing with the author.
What a beautiful, raw, heartbreaking, uplifting, and vulnerable memoir. I’m so grateful to have had the chance to experience this story and bear witness to the pain that Michelle Horton and Nikki Addimando endured at the hands of our uncaring criminal justice system.
***Please be aware that there are many moments throughout the book that describe intimate partner violence. All descriptions are necessary for understanding the full scope of Nikki’s abuse, but it could undoubtedly be triggering for many to read***
What a beautiful, raw, heartbreaking, uplifting, and vulnerable memoir. I’m so grateful to have had the chance to experience this story and bear witness to the pain that Michelle Horton and Nikki Addimando endured at the hands of our uncaring criminal justice system.
***Please be aware that there are many moments throughout the book that describe intimate partner violence. All descriptions are necessary for understanding the full scope of Nikki’s abuse, but it could undoubtedly be triggering for many to read***
August 19, 2023
"Dear Sister: A Memoir of Secrets, Survival, and Unbreakable Bonds" by Michelle Horton appears to be a powerful and emotionally charged memoir that delves into the lives of two sisters, Nikki Addimando and the author herself, Michelle Horton. The memoir unfolds against the backdrop of a high-profile case involving domestic abuse, murder, incarceration, and the challenges of navigating the criminal justice system. Here are the key points about the book:
1. **High-Profile Case:** The memoir centers around a dramatic and impactful event that occurs in September 2017. Michelle Horton's sister, Nikki Addimando, is arrested for shooting her abusive partner. This event sets off a chain of events that deeply affects both sisters and their families.
2. **Uncovering Abuse:** As the investigation unfolds, Michelle discovers that her sister Nikki had been enduring years of horrific abuse at the hands of her partner. The revelation of this hidden trauma shocks Michelle and prompts her to reevaluate their childhood and the dynamics of their relationship.
3. **Supporting the Children:** With Nikki incarcerated, Michelle steps in to care for Nikki's young children. The memoir likely explores the challenges and emotional toll of raising children in the midst of a traumatic situation while navigating the complexities of the criminal justice system.
4. **Navigating the System:** The book appears to provide an inside look into the struggles Michelle faces while trying to support her sister, advocate for her innocence, and challenge a criminal justice system that often fails victims of abuse.
5. **Family Trauma:** The memoir delves into the trauma experienced by the entire family as they come to terms with Nikki's abuse, incarceration, and the fallout from the high-profile case. The impact on family dynamics and relationships is likely a central theme.
6. **Retracing the Past:** In an effort to understand how the abuse remained hidden for so long, Michelle may recount aspects of their childhood and family life. The memoir could explore the psychological factors that contribute to the silence surrounding domestic abuse.
7. **Themes of Belief and Secrecy:** "Dear Sister" seems to touch on themes of belief and the danger of keeping painful truths hidden. The memoir may address the struggle for Nikki to be believed and supported, both within her family and within the legal system.
8. **Resilience and Bond:** The memoir likely portrays the resilience of the sisters and their unbreakable bond, showcasing their determination to overcome challenges and seek justice. The support and love between siblings in the face of adversity could be a central thread.
9. **Personal Transformation:** Michelle's journey from shock to advocacy is likely a significant aspect of the memoir. Her efforts to bring the truth to light and fight for her sister's rights might serve as a source of inspiration.
10. **Broader Implications:** While the memoir focuses on the personal experiences of the sisters, it may also shed light on the broader issues of domestic abuse, the complexities of the justice system, and the need for greater awareness and support for victims.
Overall, "Dear Sister: A Memoir of Secrets, Survival, and Unbreakable Bonds" by Michelle Horton appears to be a moving and intimate exploration of the complexities of sisterhood, the impact of abuse, and the challenges of seeking justice within a flawed system. The memoir is likely to offer readers a deep emotional journey through trauma, resilience, and the strength of familial bonds.
1. **High-Profile Case:** The memoir centers around a dramatic and impactful event that occurs in September 2017. Michelle Horton's sister, Nikki Addimando, is arrested for shooting her abusive partner. This event sets off a chain of events that deeply affects both sisters and their families.
2. **Uncovering Abuse:** As the investigation unfolds, Michelle discovers that her sister Nikki had been enduring years of horrific abuse at the hands of her partner. The revelation of this hidden trauma shocks Michelle and prompts her to reevaluate their childhood and the dynamics of their relationship.
3. **Supporting the Children:** With Nikki incarcerated, Michelle steps in to care for Nikki's young children. The memoir likely explores the challenges and emotional toll of raising children in the midst of a traumatic situation while navigating the complexities of the criminal justice system.
4. **Navigating the System:** The book appears to provide an inside look into the struggles Michelle faces while trying to support her sister, advocate for her innocence, and challenge a criminal justice system that often fails victims of abuse.
5. **Family Trauma:** The memoir delves into the trauma experienced by the entire family as they come to terms with Nikki's abuse, incarceration, and the fallout from the high-profile case. The impact on family dynamics and relationships is likely a central theme.
6. **Retracing the Past:** In an effort to understand how the abuse remained hidden for so long, Michelle may recount aspects of their childhood and family life. The memoir could explore the psychological factors that contribute to the silence surrounding domestic abuse.
7. **Themes of Belief and Secrecy:** "Dear Sister" seems to touch on themes of belief and the danger of keeping painful truths hidden. The memoir may address the struggle for Nikki to be believed and supported, both within her family and within the legal system.
8. **Resilience and Bond:** The memoir likely portrays the resilience of the sisters and their unbreakable bond, showcasing their determination to overcome challenges and seek justice. The support and love between siblings in the face of adversity could be a central thread.
9. **Personal Transformation:** Michelle's journey from shock to advocacy is likely a significant aspect of the memoir. Her efforts to bring the truth to light and fight for her sister's rights might serve as a source of inspiration.
10. **Broader Implications:** While the memoir focuses on the personal experiences of the sisters, it may also shed light on the broader issues of domestic abuse, the complexities of the justice system, and the need for greater awareness and support for victims.
Overall, "Dear Sister: A Memoir of Secrets, Survival, and Unbreakable Bonds" by Michelle Horton appears to be a moving and intimate exploration of the complexities of sisterhood, the impact of abuse, and the challenges of seeking justice within a flawed system. The memoir is likely to offer readers a deep emotional journey through trauma, resilience, and the strength of familial bonds.
April 15, 2024
I can see why many people liked this book. I think the story is extremely important- women who kill men (even in self defense) get tossed in jail with no get out of jail free card. The system runs them over. When a man kills a woman, it’s “meh.”
I struggled with the glossing over of the children as victims of domestic violence. There was (obviously) a lot of discussion around the abuse Nikki suffered. It’s abhorrent. Nikki is a victim and deserves to be treated as such.
But the children are also victims. Not just from their father, but from their mother who failed to protect them. The cycle of domestic violence runs deep. But Nikki had options for getting out and keeping her children safe, and she chose not to utilize them.
I’m sure others are going to come for me with the “blaming the victim” narrative. Nikki is a victim. But she’s also a mother. And being a victim doesn’t nullify your role as a parent. In the end, her children lost years of time with their mother because she didn’t do her job.
I suppose my summary is this: read this book because the system is corrupt and women get the shaft. But keep in mind there are two other victims who could have stood a better chance, too.
I struggled with the glossing over of the children as victims of domestic violence. There was (obviously) a lot of discussion around the abuse Nikki suffered. It’s abhorrent. Nikki is a victim and deserves to be treated as such.
But the children are also victims. Not just from their father, but from their mother who failed to protect them. The cycle of domestic violence runs deep. But Nikki had options for getting out and keeping her children safe, and she chose not to utilize them.
I’m sure others are going to come for me with the “blaming the victim” narrative. Nikki is a victim. But she’s also a mother. And being a victim doesn’t nullify your role as a parent. In the end, her children lost years of time with their mother because she didn’t do her job.
I suppose my summary is this: read this book because the system is corrupt and women get the shaft. But keep in mind there are two other victims who could have stood a better chance, too.
November 4, 2023
I received this book as an ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Many thanks to the author and publisher for this opportunity.
Before reading this book I had never heard of Nikki’s case. I chose not to google Nikki’s case before reading this book. I wanted to give the author the respect of having an impartial opinion of not just her book but the case in general.
Michelle is an excellent writer. She has authored a book that is full of emotion, affection and dedication. This book is much more than a memoir…it is a narrative for all criminalized survivors.
After reading Michelle’s memoir and researching Niki’s case online all I have to say is
#WeStandWithNikki
If after reading this book you are as moved as I am…I highly recommend listening to the podcast Believe Her and visit the website westandwithniki.com to learn more about Niki and her case.
Before reading this book I had never heard of Nikki’s case. I chose not to google Nikki’s case before reading this book. I wanted to give the author the respect of having an impartial opinion of not just her book but the case in general.
Michelle is an excellent writer. She has authored a book that is full of emotion, affection and dedication. This book is much more than a memoir…it is a narrative for all criminalized survivors.
After reading Michelle’s memoir and researching Niki’s case online all I have to say is
#WeStandWithNikki
If after reading this book you are as moved as I am…I highly recommend listening to the podcast Believe Her and visit the website westandwithniki.com to learn more about Niki and her case.
January 31, 2024
Wow, the author’s style of writing grabs you and brings you front and center to the most searing moments of her life.
This book serves as an important discourse on criminalized survivors, the broken justice system and the unjust penalties that come with telling the truth.
Conversely, the unbreakable bond between the sisters pours through every page and is a source of hope among such heartbreak.
A must read.
This book serves as an important discourse on criminalized survivors, the broken justice system and the unjust penalties that come with telling the truth.
Conversely, the unbreakable bond between the sisters pours through every page and is a source of hope among such heartbreak.
A must read.
August 27, 2024
This is heartbreaking and yet, so well written that I read it in one day. A true story about domestic abuse, murder and the devastating consequences for everyone involved.
You’ll read this and be disgusted by the legal system, and inspired by the author who wrote so candidly about her sister and their family. It’s beyond unjust how hard we make it for victims to come forward and how often they are not believed even with credible evidence.
Perhaps what’s so important to mention is the way the author, her sister and their support system continue to advocate for victims of domestic abuse.
You’ll read this and be disgusted by the legal system, and inspired by the author who wrote so candidly about her sister and their family. It’s beyond unjust how hard we make it for victims to come forward and how often they are not believed even with credible evidence.
Perhaps what’s so important to mention is the way the author, her sister and their support system continue to advocate for victims of domestic abuse.
April 18, 2024
I listened to this book and at times had to pause it to keep from breaking down. I hope everyone reads or listens to this book and takes a stand against domestic violence and gives a voice to its victims. Visible bruises do not define abuse and just leaving is not always an option. I applaud the bond and the strength of these two sisters, their story and courage will spur change, but they cannot do it alone, we all must play our part.
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