It’s Complicated: Confessions of messy modern love

by Philippa Found

If you’ve ever checked your ex’s social media at 2am – or their new partner’s LinkedIn (because it’s the only social profile you can access) – or if everyone thinks you’re the perfect couple but you’ve been drifting apart for years – then you’ve probably felt a smarting of shame. But let me tell you something radical: your darkest secrets, your most repulsively shameful thoughts, feelings, and behaviours: you’re not alone.

Featuring 250 real-life anonymous submissions, this book peels back the layers of modern relationships.

These aren’t love stories – they’re stories about love.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction

235 pages, Hardcover

First published January 30, 2025

Reviews

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this book up because I saw a couple of people give it really good reviews and off the back of a pretty crappy situationship, I thought it would bring me some comfort and it definitely did! It wasn't quite what I was expecting, but I think I preferred it more to what I was expecting (this was my own fault because I'm really terrible at reading or remembering blurbs and apparently in this case, I didn't even read the title properly!)
I thought I was going to get one woman's view of love in all of its forms and features and failures but I actually loved hearing from so many people of all walks of life and hearing how love has both ruled and ruined their lives. It is the one thing is so different for each person and this book really did a fantastic job of showing that. I also really loved how it had a section for different kinds of love because it's so rarely talked about how love can mean friends and family. I know I have more love for my sisters than I will ever have for anyone else and I owe them so much that it was a nice reminder that love doesn't always mean something romantic.
I think some parts of it, really some of the entries, were a little bit too 2015 Tumblr for me, but I appreciate that they were all honest for the individual authors so I just took what resonated and left what didn't. It was a very easy read and a really fascinating study of the range of relationships that people have. Really recommend!

[alstroemeriaswan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will be forever thankful for creating this beautiful book throughout my crappy August.

I wasn't so invested until the more I read, the more I could feel the pain, happiness, excitement inside of these stories. I guess I'll always be sensitive when topics like friendship, family and what complicated relationship with your loved ones be like because I cried a bit🥲.

I'm single myself. Never been into relationship. Been in a situationship once but ended up making me feel dirty, worthless and unworthy of love. Ever since then I stopped letting love in and believe all guys were the same that no genuine guys exist. Looking back, I was so stupid for letting myself high up being in love but it was lust. No one set a good example of what "true love" and "healthy relationship" were like in my environment so I don't know how to treat people around me including myself.

Here I am, reconnecting with God, with life after being disconnected for quite some time and trying to love myself as it should be ✨

[Renee Laliberte · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5⭐️- I started off reading this with a lot of momentum but after the first two sections it got hard for me to want to read this cover to cover. I feel like I would have enjoyed this more in blog form over a book, or maybe I needed more time with this book so I could space out reading it. By the 50% mark, I was tempted to stop reading but I felt like I was in too deep at that point. I also wish there was more of a conclusion for each section, or even the entire book, to help wrap up the individual collection of stories and to provide the reader with something to reflect on moving forward.

[Hestia Istiviani · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gets me emotional. Most of its parts remind me with my previous horrible relationship. It also reminds me with my traumas—the ones that I try to burry so hard.

When I read this, I tried not to cry. The memories of my worst relationship flashed before my eyes, and it hurts.

In the other hand, I feel connected with most of the stories. Perhaps that’s why I was so emotionally invested with this book.

[Gabriela · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book! There’s so much joy, hope, and meaning to be found in the universality of these stories of love and heartbreak. I truly loved them. If you want a little hug for your heart or a whisper to let you are not alone, give this a read.

[Molly Stocks · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was brilliant and made me feel not alone there was a moments that makes laugh and upset me as some where hard hitting would I recommend it hell yes but good luck

[alexandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice little collection

[Rebekah Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this might be one of the best books I’ve ever read.
I read this in just over 3 hours and I can safely say this book was relatable in so many ways through other people’s stories and confessions. This book is truly a work of art and I would love to read more books like this in the future. Praise to the author for putting people’s voices into a book for others to read and relate to and enjoy and credit to all the people who shared their stories.