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543 pages, Library Binding
First published September 24, 2024
"Whole hemispheres insisted that white things were categorically good, and good for you, despite the obvious existence of arsenic, rum raisin ice cream, and European expansion."
Like a beautiful symbiote, the language, verve, glitter-bomb swagger and shoot-from-the-hip-with-one-of-those-prop-guns-that-unfurls-and-says-BANG-on-it of Space Oddity has just become a part of me.
Yes, yes, of course Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeroes saved the world.
But what have they done for us lately?
—p.7
And the forces of stupid are bound and determined to unbalance that immortal equation forever, if they can possibly manage it. That is their highest goal. No more beauty. All stupid all the time, as far as the eye can see.
—p.37
Humanity was, as it turned out, painfully, embarrassingly, harrowingly average.
—p.12
Depending on preparation, ghemui truly is both an effective floor cleaner and an exquisite dessert topping, as well as forming the base matrix for the Utorax Formations primary weapons technology, and overall just looks quite nice in an engagement ring.
—p.42, which I cannot but think is significant. Note also, if you will, the clever callback to Saturday Night Live's classic commercial parody (for which I was, sadly, unable to find a working link).
Formal charges against modern English filed by the Publishing Hiveknot of the Pisces Epsilon Voidspace include: theft, larceny, grand theft comma, identity theft, public indecency, still more theft, slang assault, semicolon abuse, fugitive sentences running on forever to escape the law, vandalism, drunk and disorderly conduct, general nuisance, and driving under the influence of French.See what I mean?
—p.93
It's not that humanity invented becoming so overwhelmed by the powerful cuteness of a particularly fluffy being that one is compelled by a drive stronger than survival, sex, loyalty, or the accumulation of resources to stroke its head and ask who is a good girl in a totally altered speaking voice over and over until both the petter and the pettee crumble to dust, leaving only a fossilized leash and wallet resting on a pile of dusty cold bones.
That dubious behavior is so universal that can I pet your dog? is statistically the most commonly uttered phrase in all languages, in the history of the galaxy (allowing for variations on the exact meaning of the word "dog"){...}
—p.192
But he'd never wanted to visit Minneapolis, or St. Paul, or their collective international airport, either. In fact, he didn't believe he'd given the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport one lonely friendless thought in all his days.
So why was it here?
—pp.199-200
And while the famous combination astrological system/ethical framework detailing personality types as Good, Evil and Neutral as well as Lawful, Neutral, and Chaotic makes a nice little Punnet (sic) square, if that's what gets your motor running, it leaves out the Lazy axis. It's all well and good to be bright-eyed, serpentine-tailed Lawful Good, but Lawful has rarely survived Lazy in the history of jurisprudence, and Good never has.
—p.291
—pp.350-351
"How'm I gonna be an optimist about this?"
—from "Pompeii," by the band Bastille
{...}loving advice wrapped in f-bombs wrapped in deep cynicism that is always a mask for a soul that longs to be an optimist, and is always looking for an excuse to try out hope.
—p.377