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All I Know
Despite childhood trauma and tragedy, Kai Martin has never given up, rising from devastation to rebuild her life over and over again, in this inspiring story of strength and resilience.
Kai sees her life as a series of concentric circles—her twin brother Kade occupying the center sphere with her, their parents surrounding them in the next, and the Tyler family in the outer loop, a connection Kai plans to make official by someday marrying Josh Tyler. The Martins and Tylers share memorable times together, but under the surface, they are two dysfunctional families struggling with alcoholism, depression, and abuse, all of which leads to a horrifying event that knocks Kai off her axis and makes her doubt everything she thought she knew.
Josh is there through it all, and Kai eventually gets the romance she dreamed of, embarking on a life of travel and adventure with the boy she always loved. Yet reality is more complicated than any childhood fantasy, and when painful family patterns are reenacted between them, Kai must decide how much of herself she is willing to sacrifice for Josh.
Ultimately, Kai must confront the heartbreaking truth that as much as we try to help the people we love, we can only truly save ourselves.
Kai sees her life as a series of concentric circles—her twin brother Kade occupying the center sphere with her, their parents surrounding them in the next, and the Tyler family in the outer loop, a connection Kai plans to make official by someday marrying Josh Tyler. The Martins and Tylers share memorable times together, but under the surface, they are two dysfunctional families struggling with alcoholism, depression, and abuse, all of which leads to a horrifying event that knocks Kai off her axis and makes her doubt everything she thought she knew.
Josh is there through it all, and Kai eventually gets the romance she dreamed of, embarking on a life of travel and adventure with the boy she always loved. Yet reality is more complicated than any childhood fantasy, and when painful family patterns are reenacted between them, Kai must decide how much of herself she is willing to sacrifice for Josh.
Ultimately, Kai must confront the heartbreaking truth that as much as we try to help the people we love, we can only truly save ourselves.
368 pages, Paperback
Published June 6, 2024
4 people are currently reading
77 people want to read
About the author
Holly C. LaBarbera
1 book10 followersHolly LaBarbera began her creative writing career with a lightning bolt of inspiration for her first book, the as-yet-unpublished Five Days, followed by All I Know, and is currently revising her third novel. Participating in the Community of Writers Workshop in 2018 significantly contributed to her growth and development as a writer both during her time there and through ongoing connections with other amazing writers who have become critique and accountability partners, both in formal and informal writing groups. Holly is a psychotherapist and an adjunct professor at Santa Clara University’s School of Counseling Psychology, guiding graduate students in becoming licensed therapists.
Holly was born in Hawaii, grew up just north of New York City, and now lives outside of San Francisco. She considers herself equal parts New Yorker and California girl, a loyal fan of the Yankees and the Golden State Warriors. She loves reading and writing and is old-school in both, enjoying the feel of holding a book in her hands and turning actual pages and also doing her part to keep the post office in business by regularly sending handwritten letters and cards, much like her debut novel’s protagonist Kai.
Holly was born in Hawaii, grew up just north of New York City, and now lives outside of San Francisco. She considers herself equal parts New Yorker and California girl, a loyal fan of the Yankees and the Golden State Warriors. She loves reading and writing and is old-school in both, enjoying the feel of holding a book in her hands and turning actual pages and also doing her part to keep the post office in business by regularly sending handwritten letters and cards, much like her debut novel’s protagonist Kai.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
June 12, 2024
For the most part, this one was so good! Absolutely one of the best contemporary fiction ARCs I've been sent. While I do have one gripe that I'll get to in a moment, LaBarbera did an amazing job with this one.
The first half of this book had me immediately. The way this story is written makes it nearly impossible NOT to relate to the characters. Though this book deals with heavy topics, I think it's done in such a way that is easy to relate to and that really helped me connect with Kai, specifically. It's incredibly raw and emotional. So much of this story is just about everyday, normal people which in a way, is very refreshing despite the difficult topics throughout the story.
I really really love the aspect of letter writing that is included. It's such a unique way of bringing the story to life. While the entire book is well-written, that is definitely my favorite and most moving part for me.
The one gripe I have is that I really didn't agree with the ending... I wish it would have gone a different way. That being said, these people felt very real and I understand why it went the direction that it did.
Overall, such a great contemporary fic read. I don't read many of them, but this one I will definitely be thinking about for quite some time. Thank you to Books Forward PR and Holly LaBarbera for the gifted ARC copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
The first half of this book had me immediately. The way this story is written makes it nearly impossible NOT to relate to the characters. Though this book deals with heavy topics, I think it's done in such a way that is easy to relate to and that really helped me connect with Kai, specifically. It's incredibly raw and emotional. So much of this story is just about everyday, normal people which in a way, is very refreshing despite the difficult topics throughout the story.
I really really love the aspect of letter writing that is included. It's such a unique way of bringing the story to life. While the entire book is well-written, that is definitely my favorite and most moving part for me.
The one gripe I have is that I really didn't agree with the ending... I wish it would have gone a different way. That being said, these people felt very real and I understand why it went the direction that it did.
Overall, such a great contemporary fic read. I don't read many of them, but this one I will definitely be thinking about for quite some time. Thank you to Books Forward PR and Holly LaBarbera for the gifted ARC copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
June 17, 2024
All I Know is a story of overcoming your past, wading through trauma and finding yourself. It follows Kai throughout her life as she learns how to confront her fears, cope with loss, find her passion and live truly for herself. Holly LaBarbera has weaved a raw and complex emotional story that at its core is a journey of self discovery and acceptance.
Please be kind to yourself and check TW before reading. Heavy themes of alcohol & substance abuse & addiction, mental health struggles, death of an immediate family member, parental abuse, family planning, depression, anxiety and September 11th.
Thank you Books Forward & Buckberg Mountain Books for the gifted copy!
June 21, 2024
This is a wonderful book about the complexity of families. It is expertly written to ensure connections with the characters. The experiences that the characters go through are relatable and left me needing to know what happens to them. This is a must read book that you won’t be able to put down!
June 10, 2024
***TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR
VIOLENCE ADDICTION GRIEF***
Rating: 5 Stars!!
Review:
Thank you to Books Forward for sending me this FREE EBOOK to promote and review for Holly as part of their Book Tour this week.
This was my first time reading a novel by Holly so I wasn't sure what to expect but I have to say I really enjoyed this one mainly because I could relate to especially with The Grief since Losing My Dad.
The Characters were fun and enjoyable to read about. Kade was definitely my favorite especially since I felt for since she couldn't seem to catch a break since everytime she turned around something bad happened.
The Setting was beautifully described which made me feel like I was actually in the book while reading especially when the scenery was described.
Overall a wonderfully written Literary Novel about going through hard times. Can't wait to read more by Holly in the future!!
VIOLENCE ADDICTION GRIEF***
Rating: 5 Stars!!
Review:
Thank you to Books Forward for sending me this FREE EBOOK to promote and review for Holly as part of their Book Tour this week.
This was my first time reading a novel by Holly so I wasn't sure what to expect but I have to say I really enjoyed this one mainly because I could relate to especially with The Grief since Losing My Dad.
The Characters were fun and enjoyable to read about. Kade was definitely my favorite especially since I felt for since she couldn't seem to catch a break since everytime she turned around something bad happened.
The Setting was beautifully described which made me feel like I was actually in the book while reading especially when the scenery was described.
Overall a wonderfully written Literary Novel about going through hard times. Can't wait to read more by Holly in the future!!
June 5, 2024
I really enjoyed this book! I think the author developed the characters really well. I felt close to these characters even though I haven’t been through what they have. I found myself rooting for them and hoping that they found their HEA! Holly Labarbera is a wonderfully talented author and I am excited to read more of this Authors work in the future.… this book does contain sensitive material so as always check your triggers and take care of your mental health.
June 13, 2024
LaBarbera is a psychotherapist and professor, and this is her first published novel about growing up and overcoming trauma. It was a thoughtful book, which I appreciated since I’m very interested in psychology, although I did struggle with some aspects of it.
Kai is a young girl when the story begins; she describes herself as fearless, particularly compared to her sensitive and artistic twin brother Kade. Her family spends every vacation with the Tylers, and Kai is best friends with their daughter and obsessively in love with the oldest son Josh. Her life starts out idyllic but soon the cracks begin to show. Kai’s father drinks too much and is disappointed in his son, and Mr. Tyler is abusive to his wife and children. As the kids get older, Kade becomes depressed, and Kai struggles to take care of her mother, her brother and their friends.
LaBarbera tells Kai’s story slowly, and very much through the lens of Kai as she grows and matures.
What I liked most about the book is how real it felt. The characters experience things many of us can identify with, particularly worrying about how family patterns like violence and abuse may repeat themselves, how we know when a relationship is good for us or is holding us back, and how we recover from difficult times and mistakes we’ve made.
I’ll admit that I didn’t like Kai a lot of the time, and I wasn’t sure how much that was intentional on the part of the author, or whether I just found her abrasive. Some of this might be the writing, as the dialogue is very confrontational and not at all subtle. Certainly Kai goes through difficult times and those realistically impact her personality. Still, she has quite a temper and often acts inappropriately, initiating huge arguments without any rational basis.
I did find her infatuation with Josh disturbing and found him sympathetic most of the time. His reactions to her felt very understandable. It’s hard for me to relate to the idea that you can fall in love with someone at 7 years old and still be in love with them as an adult. But I suppose it happens, and it sets up an interesting dilemma in the book. Is Kai’s love for Josh immature, and is it more about maintaining a connection to her childhood, than truly loving someone for who they are as an adult?
I was a little bothered by the author’s description of September 11 in the story, mainly because I felt it lacked the detail the author put into so many other parts of this book. For example, at one point the family travels to Hawaii, and LaBarbera goes into rich detail describing the Kilauea National Park, including the volcanic crater. I’ve been there, and I could tell the author clearly had been there too. Yet, on September 11, the author gives us basically a couple of sentences, which was problematic as I’m supposed to believe this event had a huge impact on Kai. I know I can describe everything about that day in vivid detail. I wondered if the author was not comfortable going into detail.
There is a lot of sex in this book, which is fine with me, but it’s quite explicit and I think some readers will be surprised by that. Sex is of course very psychological, and I appreciated that the author explored that, particularly when it’s about power and powerlessness, or love and joy, or just distracting oneself from pain. I’ll note though, there are times in this book the level of detail seemed a little excessive for the tone of the book.
I liked that there were no villains, just people trying to overcome their limitations. The parents felt very real to me, although just as real were the terrible impacts on their children. I also appreciated the conclusion of the book, which I won’t discuss here. Altogether, this was a thoughtful read and one that explores compelling issues.
Note: I received an advanced review copy of this novel from publicist Books Forward. It’s published by Buckberg Mountain Books on June 11, 2024.
Kai is a young girl when the story begins; she describes herself as fearless, particularly compared to her sensitive and artistic twin brother Kade. Her family spends every vacation with the Tylers, and Kai is best friends with their daughter and obsessively in love with the oldest son Josh. Her life starts out idyllic but soon the cracks begin to show. Kai’s father drinks too much and is disappointed in his son, and Mr. Tyler is abusive to his wife and children. As the kids get older, Kade becomes depressed, and Kai struggles to take care of her mother, her brother and their friends.
LaBarbera tells Kai’s story slowly, and very much through the lens of Kai as she grows and matures.
What I liked most about the book is how real it felt. The characters experience things many of us can identify with, particularly worrying about how family patterns like violence and abuse may repeat themselves, how we know when a relationship is good for us or is holding us back, and how we recover from difficult times and mistakes we’ve made.
I’ll admit that I didn’t like Kai a lot of the time, and I wasn’t sure how much that was intentional on the part of the author, or whether I just found her abrasive. Some of this might be the writing, as the dialogue is very confrontational and not at all subtle. Certainly Kai goes through difficult times and those realistically impact her personality. Still, she has quite a temper and often acts inappropriately, initiating huge arguments without any rational basis.
I did find her infatuation with Josh disturbing and found him sympathetic most of the time. His reactions to her felt very understandable. It’s hard for me to relate to the idea that you can fall in love with someone at 7 years old and still be in love with them as an adult. But I suppose it happens, and it sets up an interesting dilemma in the book. Is Kai’s love for Josh immature, and is it more about maintaining a connection to her childhood, than truly loving someone for who they are as an adult?
I was a little bothered by the author’s description of September 11 in the story, mainly because I felt it lacked the detail the author put into so many other parts of this book. For example, at one point the family travels to Hawaii, and LaBarbera goes into rich detail describing the Kilauea National Park, including the volcanic crater. I’ve been there, and I could tell the author clearly had been there too. Yet, on September 11, the author gives us basically a couple of sentences, which was problematic as I’m supposed to believe this event had a huge impact on Kai. I know I can describe everything about that day in vivid detail. I wondered if the author was not comfortable going into detail.
There is a lot of sex in this book, which is fine with me, but it’s quite explicit and I think some readers will be surprised by that. Sex is of course very psychological, and I appreciated that the author explored that, particularly when it’s about power and powerlessness, or love and joy, or just distracting oneself from pain. I’ll note though, there are times in this book the level of detail seemed a little excessive for the tone of the book.
I liked that there were no villains, just people trying to overcome their limitations. The parents felt very real to me, although just as real were the terrible impacts on their children. I also appreciated the conclusion of the book, which I won’t discuss here. Altogether, this was a thoughtful read and one that explores compelling issues.
Note: I received an advanced review copy of this novel from publicist Books Forward. It’s published by Buckberg Mountain Books on June 11, 2024.
April 27, 2024
All I Know by Holly LaBarbera follows the early to midlife of Kai Martin, beginning when she is nine years old. Her idyllic life starts to upend in front of her eyes as she starts to observe and understand what is happening around her. Kai learns how to navigate life, with and without those she loves, as she experiences trauma - some inflicted on her and some as effects of her own decisions. Will she learn to love herself as she is? Will she triumph over trauma or be trampled by it? Reader beware: feel good book, this is not.
Opinion:
The author provides a trigger warning and advises the reader to take care of themselves while reading before the book begins. This alone helps the reader determine if they are up for tagging along on the ride that is Kai Martin’s life. Depending on the mental health and self-assurance of the reader, this book may not be for everyone. It would be a fallacy to assume that there is a single person in the world that has not experienced some degree of trauma at some point of their life. That being said, it is not helpful or encouraged to compare traumas, and as such, there is a real possibility any given reader should not read this book. However, if one has experienced trauma and has grown and healed from it, this may well be a book that amplifies the great feeling of success at knowing the human spirit is resilient. If one is in the throes of trauma, this may also be a helpful book to remind how resilient the human spirit is, encouraging one to persevere and come out healthy on the other side. The danger would be if this book re-traumatizes the reader by dredging up issues not properly dealt with.
The plot of this book is well developed, and even though a span of many years is covered in Kai’s life, it is done well and does not leave the reader feeling lost or confused about events that led Kai to where she is at that point of time. There are many different difficult situations Kai goes through, some of which include child abuse, alcoholism in the family, unhealthy romantic relationships, and unhealthy sexual relationships - some almost bordering on assault. Kai faces many difficult decisions along with and separate from the difficult dynamics. The author does a brilliant job at explaining how and why Kai makes the decisions she makes, and even if the reader would choose a different path, Kai’s point of view is understandable.
The characters are very well developed with great care and depth. Not only are the characters well developed, the feeling the reader gets of family in the book is also deep. When some of the family - real or chosen - are not there, the reader feels the void. It is also clear without being said, that each character has different coping skills, most of which are unhealthy such as avoidance and repression.
The setting varies often, and it is done in a way that helps the reader feel they are there, which is a great compliment given how many settings are visited. The author writes in a unique way, using different styles to convey the message she wants to send.
I have experienced or witnessed most of the traumatic themes in this book, and if I haven’t, my friends or family have. I feel I have dealt with, healed and grown from my traumas, and yet, I must admit I was triggered by a few scenarios in this book. I took a pause and put it away, but ultimately came back to cheer for Kai, to see if she has the fighting spirit she thinks she does and I know every human does. If you start it, you will want to finish it, but please do take care of yourself while reading.
Opinion:
The author provides a trigger warning and advises the reader to take care of themselves while reading before the book begins. This alone helps the reader determine if they are up for tagging along on the ride that is Kai Martin’s life. Depending on the mental health and self-assurance of the reader, this book may not be for everyone. It would be a fallacy to assume that there is a single person in the world that has not experienced some degree of trauma at some point of their life. That being said, it is not helpful or encouraged to compare traumas, and as such, there is a real possibility any given reader should not read this book. However, if one has experienced trauma and has grown and healed from it, this may well be a book that amplifies the great feeling of success at knowing the human spirit is resilient. If one is in the throes of trauma, this may also be a helpful book to remind how resilient the human spirit is, encouraging one to persevere and come out healthy on the other side. The danger would be if this book re-traumatizes the reader by dredging up issues not properly dealt with.
The plot of this book is well developed, and even though a span of many years is covered in Kai’s life, it is done well and does not leave the reader feeling lost or confused about events that led Kai to where she is at that point of time. There are many different difficult situations Kai goes through, some of which include child abuse, alcoholism in the family, unhealthy romantic relationships, and unhealthy sexual relationships - some almost bordering on assault. Kai faces many difficult decisions along with and separate from the difficult dynamics. The author does a brilliant job at explaining how and why Kai makes the decisions she makes, and even if the reader would choose a different path, Kai’s point of view is understandable.
The characters are very well developed with great care and depth. Not only are the characters well developed, the feeling the reader gets of family in the book is also deep. When some of the family - real or chosen - are not there, the reader feels the void. It is also clear without being said, that each character has different coping skills, most of which are unhealthy such as avoidance and repression.
The setting varies often, and it is done in a way that helps the reader feel they are there, which is a great compliment given how many settings are visited. The author writes in a unique way, using different styles to convey the message she wants to send.
I have experienced or witnessed most of the traumatic themes in this book, and if I haven’t, my friends or family have. I feel I have dealt with, healed and grown from my traumas, and yet, I must admit I was triggered by a few scenarios in this book. I took a pause and put it away, but ultimately came back to cheer for Kai, to see if she has the fighting spirit she thinks she does and I know every human does. If you start it, you will want to finish it, but please do take care of yourself while reading.
June 3, 2024
All her life, Kai Martin family and the Tyler's have been a tightly knit unit. Kai is best friends with Stephanie Tyler and has always dreamed of marrying Stephanie's older brother, Josh. Kai is fiercely protective of her twin brother, Kade and looks to her trusting and gentle mother for advice. As she grows, Kai notices some cracks in the family's foundation. Both her father and the Tyler's dad drink a lot when they are together, sometimes the dads get violent as well, especially the Tyler's dad. Kai also notices her and Kade grow apart and struggle. as they develop their own interests. As Kai goes through several tragedies, she learns to rebuild and move on, although not always with the greatest coping strategies. Now, both adults Kai and Josh find themselves together once again and Kai is willing to change herself to fulfill her dream of being with Josh. However, like many other things in Kai's life, her time with Josh is anything but perfect.
All I Know is a raw look at the realities of life. Told through Kai's point of view, the author brings us on an emotionally charged journey through several life changing events. The writing handles all of these events with tenderness yet still communicating the matter-of-fact points of alcoholism, abuse, depression and abortion. Following Kai from childhood to adulthood, her journey is one of finding yourself and not losing hope. I do wish some of the other characters would have been a better source of strength in Kai's life. Kai's mother was amazing, always offering advice and a steady emotional state, telling Kai what she needed to hear even when it was difficult. I was glad that Kai pursued therapy and reading Kai's letters to Kade were some of my favorite parts. Josh was an interesting character, he seemed to be a constant for Kai, but was definitely fighting demons of his own that resulted in creating more turbulence for Kai. In the end, I think Kai made the best decisions she could for herself.
This book was received for free in return for an honest review.
All I Know is a raw look at the realities of life. Told through Kai's point of view, the author brings us on an emotionally charged journey through several life changing events. The writing handles all of these events with tenderness yet still communicating the matter-of-fact points of alcoholism, abuse, depression and abortion. Following Kai from childhood to adulthood, her journey is one of finding yourself and not losing hope. I do wish some of the other characters would have been a better source of strength in Kai's life. Kai's mother was amazing, always offering advice and a steady emotional state, telling Kai what she needed to hear even when it was difficult. I was glad that Kai pursued therapy and reading Kai's letters to Kade were some of my favorite parts. Josh was an interesting character, he seemed to be a constant for Kai, but was definitely fighting demons of his own that resulted in creating more turbulence for Kai. In the end, I think Kai made the best decisions she could for herself.
This book was received for free in return for an honest review.
November 21, 2024
Kai’s life hasn’t ever been easy, but it has been consistent. The presence of her family and their friends, the Tyler’s, is the most constant thing in her life. Neither family is perfect, but they are always there for each other, in their own awkward, dysfunctional way. For Kai, Josh Tyler, her best friend’s older brother, is a light in the dark throughout it all.
Despite living through tragedy and a childhood full of dysfunction, addiction, and violence, Kai never let it deter her from living the life she dreamed. She really blossoms into her own person when she manages to leave home to attend college in California. Reacquainting herself with her childhood crush – Josh Tyler – is the final step in her transformation. However, her strong will and independence are often sapped whenever Josh is around.
Throughout the entire story, Kai is pushing for Josh’s love, wanting what she’d dreamed of having since she was six years old. At times, it blinds her to the truth, and at others, she’s able to see more clearly and accept things as they truly are. She follows a desperate track, one that drags her into a vicious cycle of happiness that turns sour and nearly ends in destruction. It’s heartbreaking to watch Kai struggle and succeed, only to fall back into old habits.
Told through Kai’s eyes, as well as through a series of letters, All I Know, is an engaging and heart wrenching story of growing up and moving beyond your past to find the true you. Sometimes that means making bad decisions and owning up to them, something that Kai becomes an expert at by the end of the novel. A fantastic, if often tough, read, All I Know touches on some rough topics, but in a very real way, one that doesn’t sugarcoat the harsh truths of life.
Despite living through tragedy and a childhood full of dysfunction, addiction, and violence, Kai never let it deter her from living the life she dreamed. She really blossoms into her own person when she manages to leave home to attend college in California. Reacquainting herself with her childhood crush – Josh Tyler – is the final step in her transformation. However, her strong will and independence are often sapped whenever Josh is around.
Throughout the entire story, Kai is pushing for Josh’s love, wanting what she’d dreamed of having since she was six years old. At times, it blinds her to the truth, and at others, she’s able to see more clearly and accept things as they truly are. She follows a desperate track, one that drags her into a vicious cycle of happiness that turns sour and nearly ends in destruction. It’s heartbreaking to watch Kai struggle and succeed, only to fall back into old habits.
Told through Kai’s eyes, as well as through a series of letters, All I Know, is an engaging and heart wrenching story of growing up and moving beyond your past to find the true you. Sometimes that means making bad decisions and owning up to them, something that Kai becomes an expert at by the end of the novel. A fantastic, if often tough, read, All I Know touches on some rough topics, but in a very real way, one that doesn’t sugarcoat the harsh truths of life.
June 2, 2024
All I know
By: Holly LaBarbera
Gosh, I could not put this one down! I'm not 100% sure which genre this falls into, it definitely has some YA vibes, but could easily be in the Women's Fiction category too. Either way, I loved it.
All I Know follows FMC Kai as she grows up, starting with her childhood memories of enjoying time with family friends, the Tylers, with her twin brother and parents. In the essence of "The Summer I Turned Pretty" Kai falls in love with the eldest Tyler, Josh, and dreams of him one day seeing her as more of a peer and love interest rather than a kid-sister or younger cousin. Both Josh and Kai experience trauma growing up, related to their parents' addictions and broken marriages, as well as the loss and grief. Despite the families being less connected over time, Josh and Kai always seemed to find their way back to each other and stay in touch throughout their lives, in many moments through letters. Kai has been warned since she was little that she will get hurt by Josh one day, that they are not the love match she so desperately wants them to be, but Kai is not one to give up and their unusual relationship continues well into adulthood, changing over time.
This book has so much going for it. There's the coming of age YA love story, the emotions of childhood and young adult trauma, reflections on addiction and mental health, and a female character who is independent, strong and determined to make her dreams come true, even if sometimes blinded by love. The growth Kai makes through the story is so intriguing to watch, and the author did such a great job describing both the characters and the settings that I felt like I was watching someone I knew grow up. This book was filled with emotional moments which I was entirely invested in, and the ending was a hard one to accept, as any love story that comes with an ending can be, but had just the right amount of closure.
Thanks so much to booksforwardpr and the author for sharing this lovely book with me. I believe it is out on the 11th so don't forget to go grab your copy next week!
By: Holly LaBarbera
Gosh, I could not put this one down! I'm not 100% sure which genre this falls into, it definitely has some YA vibes, but could easily be in the Women's Fiction category too. Either way, I loved it.
All I Know follows FMC Kai as she grows up, starting with her childhood memories of enjoying time with family friends, the Tylers, with her twin brother and parents. In the essence of "The Summer I Turned Pretty" Kai falls in love with the eldest Tyler, Josh, and dreams of him one day seeing her as more of a peer and love interest rather than a kid-sister or younger cousin. Both Josh and Kai experience trauma growing up, related to their parents' addictions and broken marriages, as well as the loss and grief. Despite the families being less connected over time, Josh and Kai always seemed to find their way back to each other and stay in touch throughout their lives, in many moments through letters. Kai has been warned since she was little that she will get hurt by Josh one day, that they are not the love match she so desperately wants them to be, but Kai is not one to give up and their unusual relationship continues well into adulthood, changing over time.
This book has so much going for it. There's the coming of age YA love story, the emotions of childhood and young adult trauma, reflections on addiction and mental health, and a female character who is independent, strong and determined to make her dreams come true, even if sometimes blinded by love. The growth Kai makes through the story is so intriguing to watch, and the author did such a great job describing both the characters and the settings that I felt like I was watching someone I knew grow up. This book was filled with emotional moments which I was entirely invested in, and the ending was a hard one to accept, as any love story that comes with an ending can be, but had just the right amount of closure.
Thanks so much to booksforwardpr and the author for sharing this lovely book with me. I believe it is out on the 11th so don't forget to go grab your copy next week!
July 20, 2024
I think this was one of the best ARCs I've read so far this year. I enjoyed the way this book was crafted, it started out with her retelling the events that she remembered in different stages of her life from her past up until her twenties. The letters included in the book make the story that much more realistic and closer to the characters.
Kai goes through her life trying to overcome her childhood trauma to marry Josh Tyler, a boy she has been in love with her whole life. Kai and her family spend every holiday and vacation with the Tyler family. Both of their families struggle with alcoholism, depression and abuse. Kai enters adulthood realizing that some of those family patterns have snuck their way into her life. She realizes she can't always save those she loves and now has to make choices to save herself and rediscover the faith she always had within her.
I wish she would have accepted in the end but I understand that the point was she was now making decisions for herself and not based off of the needs and wants of those around her. I definitely recommend picking up this book.
Thank you to NetGalley, Books Forward, Buckberg Mountain Books and Holly C. LaBarbera for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Kai goes through her life trying to overcome her childhood trauma to marry Josh Tyler, a boy she has been in love with her whole life. Kai and her family spend every holiday and vacation with the Tyler family. Both of their families struggle with alcoholism, depression and abuse. Kai enters adulthood realizing that some of those family patterns have snuck their way into her life. She realizes she can't always save those she loves and now has to make choices to save herself and rediscover the faith she always had within her.
I wish she would have accepted in the end but I understand that the point was she was now making decisions for herself and not based off of the needs and wants of those around her. I definitely recommend picking up this book.
Thank you to NetGalley, Books Forward, Buckberg Mountain Books and Holly C. LaBarbera for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
February 14, 2025
All I Know by Holly C. LaBarbera is a heartbreaking contemporary read about loss, grief, anger, love, and finding oneself. The cast of characters feel like my own family in a way because it feels like I have known them forever. It is just the way Holly LaBarbera created them that gives off that feeling. I sense the tensions and despair in the family. A lot of dysfunctional stuff such as drug abuse, anger management, heartbreak, trust, and a few other times are all explored in a sad yet haunting way.
Any reader can easily slide into this read and relate to knowing someone or maybe they themselves went through similar issues faced here. The ending was the best part. I truly enjoyed the insight and heartfelt moments between the characters and the bonus part of Kai writing a letter to her brother. Her crush, Josh, is also half tuned into her needs and wants and can understand her most times. But there's that thing where they both need to see if they have what it takes to be a forever and ever thing or not. Even Kai says she's not scared to love, she still has the fear of ending up like their families. It is not a full conclusion to the read but it gives hope that Kai and Josh will make it, maybe.
I received this copy from the publisher. This is my voluntary review.
Any reader can easily slide into this read and relate to knowing someone or maybe they themselves went through similar issues faced here. The ending was the best part. I truly enjoyed the insight and heartfelt moments between the characters and the bonus part of Kai writing a letter to her brother. Her crush, Josh, is also half tuned into her needs and wants and can understand her most times. But there's that thing where they both need to see if they have what it takes to be a forever and ever thing or not. Even Kai says she's not scared to love, she still has the fear of ending up like their families. It is not a full conclusion to the read but it gives hope that Kai and Josh will make it, maybe.
I received this copy from the publisher. This is my voluntary review.
June 20, 2024
ALL I KNOW is a gripping tale of a young woman struggling to overcome her past and find out who she really is. Kai is a strong and brave leading character who confronts her fears head-on while coping with loss at the same time. The turning point comes when she finds her own passion and begins to live for herself.
What a story! Holly LaBarbera, psychotherapist and professor, in her debut novel, has penned a truthful and emotional account of this woman’s journey through forgiveness and acceptance. The underlying truth for every reader is that, although, we deeply love those around us, we only have the power to save ourselves.
CW: alcohol/substance abuse, addiction, mental illness, death and loss, suicide, and depression
Published June 11, 2024.
August 14, 2024
All I Know is a coming of age story that features Kai Martin and her determination to rebuild her life after facing trauma and tragedy in her childhood. I would recommend that readers take note of the trigger warnings before reading. I knew I was going to love this story the moment Kai’s personality came out! I really enjoyed how we got to see Kai’s life transform throughout the early years of her life to her adult life. There were a few moments in this book that really resonated with me and I think other readers will find this book to have both strong and powerful points about a person’s growth and healing. Highly recommend for the writing and the author’s ability to weave a story through strong characters.
June 17, 2024
This is a coming of age book about families and then the parents and kids in those families hang out with eachother and become friends. The book is about Kai and her relationship with Josh Tyler. They both have traumatic experiences and talk to eachother about it as young people and older adults too. Kai really loves Josh, he is her childhood crush and she wants to be with him forever. However there is a lot of mental issues due to the trauma that affects the both of them and their current relationships.
There is a lot going on in this book. There is so much romance and love mentions but the characters are so well written that you really start to feel what they feel ad resonate with the characters as a reader.
I think the author came out with a strong debut read and she did an excellent job with this book. I really liked the characters and they resonate well. My favorite thing is the letter writing in this book between the characters. I love a book that really sticks with you after you read it and this one was that for me!
There is a lot going on in this book. There is so much romance and love mentions but the characters are so well written that you really start to feel what they feel ad resonate with the characters as a reader.
I think the author came out with a strong debut read and she did an excellent job with this book. I really liked the characters and they resonate well. My favorite thing is the letter writing in this book between the characters. I love a book that really sticks with you after you read it and this one was that for me!
July 8, 2024
Holly has done a fantastic job developing the characters and story line in this book. She weaves interesting places into the complex characters so that you can be swept up in what is happening. Holly does a great job looking at various types of relationships within the book. The book is very well written. The main character Kai has so many different and compelling facets that you cheer for her when things are going well and cry when things get difficult. Holly does a fantastic job with character development! I love how she weaves letter writing into the book as well. You will absolutely enjoy reading All I Know by Holly LaBarbera!
July 21, 2024
This is a strong, self-assured debut novel with wonderfully rich characters, especially Kai. She is on a journey that involves warm family memories, followed by cracks in that safe haven, and much love, hardship, strength and resilience along the way. I also really love the actual journeys in the book. As a traveler myself, I enjoyed her adventures around the world. Kai loves deeply and hurts deeply, and the twists and turns in her life are not always neat and tidy, but they are satisfying and very well considered and expressed. The book is deeply introspective but full of fun, adventure, and sex too. Holly is a writer with imagination and depth.
June 13, 2024
I just finished reading All I Know and I know I loved it. At first I couldn't put it down. Then I had to take breaks (short breaks... hours not days) as I didn't want it to end. The book was so real to me... good things and bad things happen to good people. Watching the characters go through everything was like I was living it alongside them. The book touches on real life issues and makes you think about your own life and how you play a part in it. All I Know was both thought provoking and a great story.
July 8, 2024
4.5⭐️
This was a beautifully written coming of age story of self discovery. Childhood trauma tied Kai’s formative years, to her later in life choices, exposing a pattern of substance abuse and losing herself in her partner.
The characters and their struggles were relatable as I watched Kai make choices in an effort to hold onto a future that she defined for herself in adolescence. It was painful at times reading her efforts to hold it together as her world began to crumble around her. She struggled to cut ties with the people who limited her ability to become the best version of herself, which was heartbreaking.
If I could change one thing about this story, it would be the ending. I was a little disappointed in the last few chapters and felt it could have been a more powerful conclusion to Kai’s story, with a different choice of where she ended up.
Despite this, I loved both this book and its characters, I definitely recommend it.
This was a beautifully written coming of age story of self discovery. Childhood trauma tied Kai’s formative years, to her later in life choices, exposing a pattern of substance abuse and losing herself in her partner.
The characters and their struggles were relatable as I watched Kai make choices in an effort to hold onto a future that she defined for herself in adolescence. It was painful at times reading her efforts to hold it together as her world began to crumble around her. She struggled to cut ties with the people who limited her ability to become the best version of herself, which was heartbreaking.
If I could change one thing about this story, it would be the ending. I was a little disappointed in the last few chapters and felt it could have been a more powerful conclusion to Kai’s story, with a different choice of where she ended up.
Despite this, I loved both this book and its characters, I definitely recommend it.
August 4, 2024
This is a wonderful book about families, overcoming dysfunction, and relationships. The reader easily connects/relates with the characters and their experiences. It's well written and pulls you in from the very beginning. Trigger related themes to know before you start - trauma, alcoholism and drug abuse, suicide, domestic violence, grief and loss. These themes are woven into a beautiful story, along with friendship, love and romance.
Thank you to Books Forward and the author for the gifted ebook and for the opportunity to read this lovely story.
Thank you to Books Forward and the author for the gifted ebook and for the opportunity to read this lovely story.
May 21, 2024
We live in a time when we're more open about mental health issues. It's easier to discuss your feelings with the people in your life. Obviously, it's not perfect but it's better than 20 or 30 years ago. Exactly the period that the characters in All I Know are living. It follows the Martin and Tyler families as they deal with their various issues and the fallout for their children. The two families have been vacationing together for years and their children are all friends. However, one event changes their whole dynamic. It brings some of the darker elements that are hiding under the surface. Elements that have been overlooked and ignored for years. It causes a knock-on effect that changes everyone's life.
The book revolves around Kai Martin and her relationship with Josh Tyler. From a young age, Kai decides she wants to marry Josh but it always seems unlikely. As they get older, the pair keep in touch and are connected through shared trauma. Josh's father is abusive while Kai's dad is a drunk. They both have to work their way through addiction, depression and loss. As well as trying to figure out what she wants to do in life, Kai also has to deal with her feelings of guilt and regret. How can she make decisions about her life when she's trying to live for someone else? In Kai's eyes, her only constant is Josh, who keeps reappearing and reawakening her childhood crush.
I wasn't sure what to expect from this book because I'm not typically a fan of romance-heavy narratives. However, this book had so much depth to it. It was a powerful and emotional look at families and how formative your childhood years can be. Little things can have much bigger impacts on children throughout their lives than you might think. A single event witnessed through the eyes of a young child or teenager can change their view of their parents. This change in their dynamic can have a huge effect on their future relationships and decisions. Kai and Josh struggle to define their relationship because they are running from their pasts. Or, at least, not confronting it. They are used to people pushing down their emotions and pretending everything is okay.
All I Know is much more than just the story of Kai and Josh's relationship. Obviously, there is a lot of love and romance stuff in there but this is more of a character study. We get to learn about these characters, their shared history and the feelings that they're hiding. Kai and Josh don't really see themselves as their own person. They just see themselves as part of something bigger. They place such importance on their family that they don't feel whole away from them. However, they also understand that their families aren't all positive influences. I love the way that Kai is helped through her problems by her friends and her mother. It highlights the importance of sharing your feelings and how much it can help you move forward.
This was a strong debut novel and I'm glad I got to read it. It's not my usual read but I'm a sucker for anything with twins in it. This was definitely an emotional read and one that deals with dark topics. It's a book about the human experience and I loved how realistic it was willing to get. These felt like real characters who had flaws and real feelings. This is great for anyone who sways towards character over plot but that's not to say there isn't a story here. It's just that the focus is on the characters, which is what appealed to me. This is the kind of book that will stick with you.
The book revolves around Kai Martin and her relationship with Josh Tyler. From a young age, Kai decides she wants to marry Josh but it always seems unlikely. As they get older, the pair keep in touch and are connected through shared trauma. Josh's father is abusive while Kai's dad is a drunk. They both have to work their way through addiction, depression and loss. As well as trying to figure out what she wants to do in life, Kai also has to deal with her feelings of guilt and regret. How can she make decisions about her life when she's trying to live for someone else? In Kai's eyes, her only constant is Josh, who keeps reappearing and reawakening her childhood crush.
I wasn't sure what to expect from this book because I'm not typically a fan of romance-heavy narratives. However, this book had so much depth to it. It was a powerful and emotional look at families and how formative your childhood years can be. Little things can have much bigger impacts on children throughout their lives than you might think. A single event witnessed through the eyes of a young child or teenager can change their view of their parents. This change in their dynamic can have a huge effect on their future relationships and decisions. Kai and Josh struggle to define their relationship because they are running from their pasts. Or, at least, not confronting it. They are used to people pushing down their emotions and pretending everything is okay.
All I Know is much more than just the story of Kai and Josh's relationship. Obviously, there is a lot of love and romance stuff in there but this is more of a character study. We get to learn about these characters, their shared history and the feelings that they're hiding. Kai and Josh don't really see themselves as their own person. They just see themselves as part of something bigger. They place such importance on their family that they don't feel whole away from them. However, they also understand that their families aren't all positive influences. I love the way that Kai is helped through her problems by her friends and her mother. It highlights the importance of sharing your feelings and how much it can help you move forward.
This was a strong debut novel and I'm glad I got to read it. It's not my usual read but I'm a sucker for anything with twins in it. This was definitely an emotional read and one that deals with dark topics. It's a book about the human experience and I loved how realistic it was willing to get. These felt like real characters who had flaws and real feelings. This is great for anyone who sways towards character over plot but that's not to say there isn't a story here. It's just that the focus is on the characters, which is what appealed to me. This is the kind of book that will stick with you.
June 11, 2024
this was an invigorating read - it contained a lot of depth when it comes to family, love, internal battles and resilience. I enjoyed watching Kai grow and shape as a character the most!
My favorite quote 🫶🏻
“I rediscover myself. The spark is back. I’m embracing fun for its own sake, not to numb or escape or avoid. I’m a grown up, independent, assertive woman who speaks her mind and isn’t worried about pleasing anyone else. I like myself again, and it shows.”
My favorite quote 🫶🏻
“I rediscover myself. The spark is back. I’m embracing fun for its own sake, not to numb or escape or avoid. I’m a grown up, independent, assertive woman who speaks her mind and isn’t worried about pleasing anyone else. I like myself again, and it shows.”
July 3, 2024
5 stars
A beautifully written story about tragedy and loss but also about love and happiness, as well. I was drawn in with the very first sentence. The author makes the characters in the book come alive. It is both a coming of age story and a story of the trials and tribulations of life itself.
A must read!!
A beautifully written story about tragedy and loss but also about love and happiness, as well. I was drawn in with the very first sentence. The author makes the characters in the book come alive. It is both a coming of age story and a story of the trials and tribulations of life itself.
A must read!!
July 7, 2024
A gorgeously written debut novel with complex characters you are rooting for and an immersive setting that pulls you into the book. The story is full of twists and turns, and kept me guessing as to where it was going. I appreciated the deft way that LaBarbera handled some heavy topics and themes. This is a perfect summer read to escape into. Five glowing stars!
July 9, 2024
Really enjoyed All I Know. The author did a beautiful job balancing rich characters, deep story lines and complicated themes to create a sense of human connection and engagement. All of this had me caring about what would happen next and not wanting to put this down. Read it, you'll be glad you did!
June 29, 2024
What a beautifully written novel! The author explores the world of family dynamics, including all the messy parts. She also shows that we all have the strength inside us to persevere and live the life we desire! It’s a roller coaster. But, so is life! Bravo!!
August 3, 2024
manages to weave in difficult and heavy topics while keeping a fast-paced and adventurous plot
characters felt so real and relationships were engaging, and despite occasional tragedies the book made for an easy read, with a realistic ending
characters felt so real and relationships were engaging, and despite occasional tragedies the book made for an easy read, with a realistic ending
March 29, 2025
Holly tackles so many hard topics but she does it with such a grace, loved seeing the world through Kai’s eyes, and loved to follow her from such a young age to a much older one. Lots of things to think about and take away after reading.
October 28, 2024
The story line was very linear, which I enjoyed. But the main character was lacking much growth. Their redeeming quality was loyalty, but it was to a fault. It was an okay book.
June 1, 2024
This was a great coming of age novel about the awkward, complicated and easy dynamic of relationships between families whose parents and kids become friends. Told mostly through the view point of Kai, we follow her from a young girl with a crush to a grown women and always wanting her first love even though it might not be right for her and what she wants in life. This was an emotional read as you felt everything Kai was going through emotionally as a young girl, teenager and then women. While dealing with the loss of a very close family member and the struggle with her father being an alcoholic. I did enjoy this story and often felt for Kai and what she was going through. I also love how the author wrote parts of this novel as letters between the various characters. Thank you to the author for the complementary novel and to Books Forward for the invite to read this novel. This review is of my own opinion and accord.
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