Bald-Headed Lies

Mortician Murders #3

by Greta Boris

Men are confusing, alive or dead.

Imogene Lynch, assistant to the head embalmer at Greener Pastures Mortuary, feels the final sensations of the deceased when she touches their hair. So, why did she get a hit from a 200 year-old skull?

An earthquake reveals a long-hidden tomb under the historic San Juan Capistrano Mission. El—the night watchman at the mortuary and her new flame—sneaks her in to see it. When Imogene stumbles into a mound of bones and dislodges a skull, she’s plagued by an itching attack that won’t quit until she discovers who killed the cranium’s owner. But how do you solve a crime that happened centuries ago?

If you can imagine Agatha Raisin as a twenty-something, rockabilly, ex-hairstylist with a weird connection to the dead, this book is for you.

Genres: Mystery, Paranormal, Ghosts, Crime, Audiobook

1 pages, Audio CD

Published July 23, 2024

About the author

Greta Boris is the USA Today Bestselling author of The Mortician Murders, a paranormal suspense series, and The Almost True Crime Series, a psychological suspense series.

She’s also co-founder of The Author Wheel -
https://www.authorwheel.com - publishers of books, courses, and a podcast dedicated to helping authors overcome their roadblocks and keep their stories rolling.

Reviews

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.4 stars.

I'm annoyed. As a romance reader, the romance sub plot drove me crazy.

They got together in book 2 but in book 3, they barely see each other. I got used to him being a big part of the series and the author seems to put the brakes on the romance by just removing him from the picture.

The mystery was fine but we don't get to have full closure at the end and that was also annoying.

I won't be continuing this series.

[Emmalynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a spooky read, between crypts and zombies, grandma going man crazy(or did she) and a skull haunting Imogene, will she and Ell have any time to be a couple??

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Crypts, zombies, and a missing cat!

Looking for a quiet romantic place to enjoy a little snogging with your boyfriend? Who wouldn’t pick a recently unearthed crypt full of human bones? What could possibly go wrong? Former hairdresser and current mortuary student Imogene Lynch is about to find out. When she and her boyfriend, El, accidentally dislodge a skull from a mound of bones inside the crypt, that skull isn’t the only thing freed. A restless spirit takes the opportunity to goad Imogene into finding the killer that sealed him in the tomb. Plagued by a pesky pruritic paranormal presence, Imogene enlists El’s help along with that of an archaeologist and a former FBI agent, to solve the mystery. The investigation leads them to an ancient cult obsessed with one specific tenant of the Voodoo faith, that of creating zombies. Between her sleuthing, her classes at mortuary school, her need to find a temporary second job when the mortuary industry takes a sudden and precipitous drop in business, and the downward spiral of her grandmother’s recent marriage, Imogene has a lot on her plate. When her grandmother unexpectedly moves into Imogene’s tiny apartment and brings Harley (her large but lovable bloodhound) with her, the chaos that is Imogene’s life only intensifies. Fred, Imogene’s cat, goes missing and cannot be found. Imogene and El begin to experience the first hints of stress in their new relationship. The spirit causing Imogene to scratch her skin raw becomes more persistent and a friend wants help in locating a missing relative. What follows is a wildly imaginative adventure full of wonderful characters, plenty of suspense, some truly creepy situations, and a generous sprinkling of inspired laugh-out-loud moments that all combined to keep me glued to the pages from start to finish. This series is original, well-written, and wonderfully entertaining. I recommend it to all.

I was provided with an advance copy of this book, for which I thank the author, but I am sharing my honest and unbiased review on a completely voluntary basis.

[Randi Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

An old mission is uncovered by an earthquake: in it are piles of bones-just the skulls and leg bones. El is guard at the site and takes Imogene in where she knocks a skull off the pile and gets a terrible itching. Imogene has a "gift" that allows her to sense the feelings of the deceased when she touches their hair. Normally she only reacts when she touches the hair of the dead, but this is a bald head, so why is she reacting to it? She and El of course decide to investigate and find themselves in all kinds of sticky situations. During their investigation we meet several other quirky characters including an ex-FBI agent taxidermist who combines animals to make weird creations, and a movie industry horror consultant who lives in a bizarre and ghoulish house. These quirky characters are what makes Ms Boris's writing such a delight. They are real and believable even if the situations they find themselves in are strange. She combines clean mystery with humor-just the chapter titles made me laugh- in an easy-to-read style. Our team learns about the early days of the mission and Father Domingo who was a Satanist and Lazerite. Was he responsible for the bones in the crypt? Or are they somehow connected to the bodies that have been going missing from mortuaries in Las Angeles? In reaching the conclusion there are several surprising twists. Along the way you will have a little history lesson and learn about the Lazerites. I see Imogene and El growing in this series in their relationship to each other and other members of the cast. They have become like good friends to me and I look forward to reading more about them. Thanks to the author for giving me an advanced copy of this book.

[Michael Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imogene (Genie) Lynch is a twenty-something hairdresser who was asked to style the hair of deceased people for funerals, which sparked in her a desire to become a mortician. Genie found that the spirit of a corpse who had died under questionable circumstances would reach out to her as soon as she touched their hair. They pressed her to investigate their problem and bring closure, so the spirit could rest in peace. Genie’s boyfriend, El, is a security guard, who is also training toward becoming a policeman. El has some contacts and computer skills to help Genie’s spirits in their investigations. Together, they have been able to help solve a few cases, along with stepping on some officials’ toes, skirting illegal activities and some dangerous situations. This story delves into recent corpse disappearances and includes trespassing at an historic mission church, where an earthquake has exposed a bone-filled crypt, and some bone-chilling moments (pun intended).
Ms. Boris has an easy-going approach, using ordinary characters who care very deeply about life and each other, who are blessed (cursed?) with odd psychic traits and experiences, along with a drive to help bring justice in an odd case or two. These unlikely characters, along with assorted friends and family members, get caught up in all sorts of strange goings-on, experiencing a wide range of emotions, as well as some hilarious moments, that pulled me into the story and kept me reading well past bedtime, not wanting to put the book down. This could be read as a stand-alone book, but I’d recommend starting with the first book in the series, to understand how the current situation has evolved. I’m looking forward to reading more of Ms. Boris’s writing.

[Brian Lobodzinski · Rating 5 out of 5]

A veritable tasty smorgasbord of a novel richly layered with teasing characters, insecure relationships and juicy developments throughout the story. Well worth sitting down and enjoying our hero's involvement in 'scratches', missing corpses and murder while 'rescuing Orange County's Funeral businesses'.

I thoroughly enjoy the way the author has developed her characters over her books though I'm not so sure that many women would go to a hairdressers where the fifty year old stylists appear in fishnet tights. I'm sure my wife doesn't go to such interesting hairdressers even for the local gossip!

Some wonderful expressions appear in the book that will bring a smile to your face. Look for 'climbing sand dunes in relationships', 'lipstick on a pig', 'eyelash extensions like a centipede', 'navigating gossip the way a fish navigates the Pacific' and 'strawberry syrup' ocean.

Great to see local history being used to carry the story to the past and link it with the present. The reader will discover a variety of obscure facts and learn about some interesting groups such as the Lazarites who had weird ideas on creating a new 'army'.

If all this has stimulated your enthusiasm to read the book then I can assure you that its a nice way to pass a few hours.

Usual rider applies. I was given the novel as an ARC copy but the opinions are my own. Sorry about the delayed review but I was enjoying a great post Covid Holiday.

[Rosie Bray · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've thoroughly enjoyed this series of books by the author, cozy mysteries aren't my usual read, but these have had my gripped from the very beginning.

Imogene is a thoroughly likeable character, coming to terms with her "gift" of sensing the final feelings of the dead from touching their hair, and her transition from hairdresser to senior citizens to mortician's assistant. Genie has finally admitted her feeling for El, all around heartthrob and would be law enforcement officer, and together they solve crimes where the police have failed.

This offering is no different, although on this occasion Genie gets her vibes from a skull found in an underground chamber in a historic mission, which she accidentally dislodges. But if the skull gives off vibes, then that suggests its owner was murdered. Is the modern from the mission's history or is it more recent.

El and Imogene with the help of a few associates work their magic to solve the murder and give peace to a family. Add in some issues that Genie and her family are working through, and you have yourself a cracking read.

The author's taking the time to develop the characters with each new book in the series, and they are gripping, even though they're not action packed all the way through. The action seems to build in pace, until you have no choice but to be drawn along with it.

I received an ARC from the author, the opinions expressed in this review are my own.

[Merry Chapman · Rating 5 out of 5]

With a little humor, romance and a paranormal mystery, the author grabs you into a very strange mystery and you can't put it down until the end! Imogene and her boyfriend El, who is guarding a mission crypt revealed due to an earthquake, decide to go by the crypt where skeletons and heads were piled for a little quiet time, when a skeleton head falls from the pile. When Imogene picks it up to put back, she gets the strange sensation from it where she needs to find out what happened to it and why the itching sensation from a bald headed skeletal head. She never got the sensation from a bald head before. She only got the sensation from touching the hair of the deceased before, never this. So she and El enlist his ex-FBI friend and an archeologist to help solve the problem and let the ghost go on. Poor Imogene. Besides this mystery so she can stop the skin ripping itching, she has to deal with her grandmother and her bloodhound moving in with her and her beloved cat missing. How do you solve a 200 year old mystery? Leave it to Imogene and El and friends. With a lot of laugh out loud moments, we are taken through some creepy scenes, cults and voodoo included. I just couldn't put this one down until the end. I received and ARC of this book but the opinions expressed here are strictly my own.

[Wendy Schuffert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh

I rate the books 3 stars, because the writing is good. I'm confused, second book has it 8 months later with Gran and Phil not married for a year, but this book has it 6 months later with Gran and Phil married for a year with missing corpses happened a month ago. So, how long was it exactly? The description says earthquake, but no mention of an earthquake till page 84. One chapter had Maddy's name spelled wrong. It Maddy ended with a 'y' and then it was Maddie, ending in 'ie'. This is just me but I don't think we needed an entire chapter about the cat fleeing the apartment. I still think Imogene's and El's relationship is force. There is still NO mortician in the book. I don't like how its referred to as an allergy attack for bad itching, tingling. Another thing, supposedly Imogene is followed daily by spirits, that's a lie. A spirit shows up occasionally when the author needs to make it paranormal. As someone with this gift, I'm constantly followed every second of the day. Also, I've had this since I was young, Imogene suddenly has it. I'm sorry, but this to me doesn't sound like a paranormal read to me. The author can go from 3-5 chapters with no paranormal events happening, but then suddenly a spirit shows up. I see where the next book is going to possibly explain her "gift".

[Lise · Rating 4 out of 5]

A romantic tumble at an archaeological site saddles Imogene Lynch with yet another ghostly hitchhiker. This particular spirit communicates by irritating Im's skin thus a good chat about the spectre's problems is entirely impossible. Puzzled by the problem of a 200-year-old cold case, Im works with El, his friend, and the archaeologists from the dig site to find that not everything that meets the eye is real.

As one of my favourite series, I have to admit to a little bias. This story is exhibit C in my case for "how to write a fantastic cosy mystery". The characters are distinctive; their personalities are their own and no one else's. Even a character with a walk-on part is given depth and a backstory.

Within this rich world exists both the murder mystery and credible everyday life. It is difficult to say which is more enjoyable as both are fascinating in their own right. Perhaps the best part of the story is Im's wry take on life; I cannot get through a Greta Boris book without several belly laughs and a snort or two - Bald-headed Lies was no exception.

Thank you, Greta Boris, for the chance to read this ARC. As always, my opinions are my own, honest and true.

[Linda M. Kowalski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bald-Headed Lies
Imogene and El are back and immersed in yet another mysterious murder in Southern California. The gruesome, claustrophobic and often skin crawling discovery of guilt leads them on an adventure of intrigue and horror that kept me reading from start to finish in one sitting. Cemetery happenings, zombie history and hallucinogenics combine with the paranormal and cast of characters that lead to shocking truths about deadly deeds of human beings. Many of the captivating characters from the first 2 books in this series are back to entertain and delight us once again. Greta Boris tells their story with dramatic rollercoaster twists and spiraling turns. I love how there are always references to things in each of her books that cause me to do some quick research to expand my personal knowledge base on a wide expanse of topics. Reading references to familiar locations, streets and the SoCal interstate add a familiar and fun flare to the reading experience for residents of SoCal. Bravo to Greta on another well written book in the series…can hardly wait for “A Permanent Solution”!

[Allison Valentine · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's great to see Imogene and El back again in this third book of the series but can easily be read as a stand alone.

As El takes on extra work as the night watchman for a recently undiscovered historical tomb Imogene is excited to explore what's hidden within.

But when she accidentally touches a 200 year old skull that sends her emotions soaring and a strange inching sensation, she knows she's in big trouble!

She knows that this sensations won't stop until she finds the killer responsible.

But things aren't going great at the Greener Pastures Mortuary and funeral home ever since bodies have started to disappear at Mortuaries across thr county.
But what has the recently discovered tomb and bodies suddenly going missing have to do with her bold headed skull?

Even her grandmother and step grandfather are having marital difficulties. Can Imogene solve this case and also repair her grandparents marriage?

[Lonnie Huff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imogene and El are drawn into another mystery. While exploring a crypt found under an old church. The crypt was exposed in an earth quake. Imogene accidently touches one of the skulls they found in a huge stack. They realized that the skull was not hundreds of years old even though the crypt had not been seen in hundreds of years. Imogene felt an itch and knew the skull was from someone who had been killed. El and Imogene take the skull to a former FBI person. He studies it and tells them the guy was murdered and the skull had been treated to make it look old. That began the search.

The author has a way of pulling you in the story and you feel that you are there. She builds the characters and you will feel like they are people you know. This is an exciting book that keeps you reading till the end. This is a standalone book and the series can be read in any order. But you will want to read it. You will love this series and won't be able to wait for the next book..

[Jeanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Greta Boris has brought us yet another wonderful story in Bald-Headed Lies, the third book in the Mortician Murders series. Imogene Lynch, an assistant to an embalmer, and working at Greener Pastures, has a gift, and a curse. When she touches the hair of a corpse, she feels their last moments. With the help of El, her boyfriend soon to be police officer, she has been known to solve the odd mystery. When they both go to recently uncovered ruins, and Imogene touches a skull, well, how is she expected to solve a 200-year-old mystery? Or is the skull much more recent? Religious cults, secret fraternities, hidden rooms, secret passageways, and, of course, ghosts, make this story fun to read. This well-written mystery has wonderfully quirky characters, unexpected twists and turns, a dash of romance, a bit of humor, and a fantastic storyline. I am looking forward to the next novel in this series. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Philip Van · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rising mortician and her friends solve a string of murders - 4 stars

Imogene and El's crime-solving partnership seems to be leading to matrimony. Both are students working to improve their professional careers as a mortician and policeman respectively. But first, they work together after finding a pile of bones to investigate. They even fix a marriage problem along the way.

The over 60-year-old group that has not yet entered Greener Pastures Mortuary are the backdrop for this ongoing cozy mystery sequence. Once again Imogene gets a visceral connection to a dead person by touching a strand of hair. She realizes that the dead person had a violent death.

The normally healthy mortuary business has been falling off forcing Imogene to return to being a hair stylist for her livelihood.

Pets, romance, poison, and secret societies form the basis for this light-hearted, rumor-enhanced story set in southern California.

[Carol George · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! First of many words that come to mind that describe this read. The descriptive writing describes the characters , scenery and mood of the story so well that I felt like I was living the story. Is there such a thing as ‘sympathy itching’? If there is than I will admit to the redness on my arms as I itched right along with Imogene. This book captivated me. I felt chilled as Imogene and El ventured underground into the dark, creepy tunnel and crypt beneath the ancient SJC Mission. I’m not a spoiler so I won’t say why or what the couple were doing down there. You’ll just have to buy the book and read. Remember to post your 5 Star review and tell your book club that this is a must for Halloween (or anytime) reading - I dare you😊

I received an ARC copy of this book for my honest review.

[Susan Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is quirky and I enjoy the characters. I like the author’s writing style. It reminds me of Sue Grafton’s alphabet series with Kinsey Millhone. There is a lot to like. I have to admit, though, that this third book in the series is getting more strongly into the paranormal, and that is not a genre that I particularly like. In the first book, there was a touch of paranormal. It has definitely gotten more extreme. It's a testament to the author that I wanted to read three of these books - with anyone else I would have gotten a fraction of the way through the first one. So, while I really like the author and I’d like to know what happens with Imogene and El, I’m not sure I will continue reading the series. I may just stick to the author’s other books instead. That's just me. But if paranormal aspects in a fun cozy type of mystery is your thing, you can’t really go wrong here.

[Andrea J · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bald Headed Lies

The latest adventure for Imogene Lynch and “El” Leonard Brown from Greta Boris is finally here. Each one of The Mortician Murders by Greta Boris just keep getting better. “Bald Headed Lies” will definitely keep you guessing as to who the real “villain(s)” is/are as bodies keep disappearing. You get to learn much more about Alphonso, the head embalmer, who is a great mangler of the English language. I always like the interactions between Imogene’s granny and her husband. Wow! There is a lot of humor in this book in addition to the suspense, as. well as a little romance. I was laughing out loud at some parts.
The Mortician Murders are a great series that you will definitely enjoy.
I look forward to Imogene’s next adventure.

[Sandass]

Mortuary Science school was never an area I thought to pursue when I attended college. Today, it sounds every bit as reasonable a degree to pursue as is teaching, lawyering or preaching. Why the heck not?
Throw in a little paranormal 'feels' and suddenly you've got a mysterious mystery.
El and Imogene, Phil and Gran, Harley and Fred are torn in all directions trying to be nice, dealing with new love, new housing, busy jobs, late hours, college classes, being lost and locked up, poisoned, entombed, and finding the whereabouts of missing embalmed cadavers..
Funeral homes and piles of human bones carry most of the story but the San Juan Capistrano location adds a great flavor to the tale.

[Cat B. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Greta Boris brings us a delightful tale with intrigue, mystery, thrills and more. When Imogene and El stumble upon a creepy mystery in catacombs beneath an old mission, the chase is on to discover who is responsible and why is Imogene getting a psychic hit from a centuries old skull. So many really interesting characters to move the story along... and it does move along at a really nice pace. So well written that the reader is there, emersed in the story. Descriptive but not overly done, just enough that reading is like watching a movie, you see and almost feel the story. This is the first of the series for me, but most definitely not the last.
I received a complimentary copy of this book and this is my honest and unbiased opinion of the tale.

[Vivian · Rating 4 out of 5]

On Book Three of the Mortician Murder Series we found Imogene in the middle of another mystery this one involving “zombies”, a crypt from the past and of course her gift, or curse as she sometimes feel, of knowing what the dead pe4son feels just by touching the hair of the corpse, although this time happens with a skull with no hair.

With her usual quirkiness and sometimes cynicism, and along with her boyfriend El, they figure out the mystery and tie it with the case of missing bodies from the funeral homes of the area.

Full of humor, quirky characters and twist and turns this is another winner by Greta Boris. Can’t wait to read the next book in the series.

[JBee · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the first page I was entranced in this storyline where Imogene, our mortician in the making, finds herself immersed in another head-scratching mystery involving Lazarites, Grave Robbing and Flesh Eating Beetles. Further enriching the story is the interesting side dramas her family, friends and cat find themselves in. While this book is about murder it is a feel good book because of these relationships and their drama, all addressed with care and at times with humor. A fantastic read! I love this series!

[BJayne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Greta Boris has written another winner! The main character, Imogene, has an unusual ability. She feels the sensations of the deceased when she touches their hair. And it usually means the deceased didn’t die peacefully.

In trying to solve what happened, Imogene and El, her new boyfriend, will stop at nothing to find out what happened. But are they putting themselves in danger? You won’t see the ending coming until it whips around the corner and smacks you in the face.

[Charlene · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poor Imogene has to suffer through bug crawling itchy feelings from a spirit of a skull she calls baldy. Zombies, cults oh my! What has she stumbled upon now! This is a wonderful series Will she be able to find the killer and end baldy haunting her? Lots of interesting complex and quirky characters fill this fast paced fun story that kept me guessing to the very end! I cannot wait to read the next book in this series! This is a real page turner and a must must read!

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an ARC and I am voluntarily leaving an honest review.

Im and El went into a crypt that was recently discovered and Im touched a skull which started her itching. As you know from prior stories, this is a sign of a spirit asking for help.

You need to read this book to discover how solving the spirit's issue will resolve a problem with Im's employer. Learn how a small group were responsible for explaining this strange case. Definitely a book that you need to read.

[Billie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful addition to this thrilling series!
Wonderful well written plot and story line that had me engaged from the start.
Love the well fleshed out characters and found them believable.
Great suspense and action with wonderful world building that adds so much to the story.
Such a thrilling read that I couldn't put it down.
Can't wait to read more of these.
Recommend reading.

I read a complimentary advance copy of the book; this is my voluntary and honest review.

[TaniaRina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This author still cracks me up!
Tons of puns, clichés, and other humorous stuff that’ll tickle your funny bone. Plus, some local So Cal Mission history with a wee bit of cult activity thrown in.

Fave quotes:
Ewwww – but makes total sense from a hairdresser:
‘Melancholy settled on my shoulders like dandruff.’

And the winning chapter title…
‘Nancy Drew meets Scooby Doo’


Gonna go download some ‘Agatha Raisin’ to keep me occupied until the next in series…

[Dwayne Keller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imogene joins El where he is guarding an old mission uncovered by an earthquake. Imogene knocks a skull off a pile and gets a weird sensation. The same type she gets when she touches the hair of a dead person. But that only happens on recent deaths. This leads to the two of them investigating. Another fun mystery with Imogene and El as they try to solve the mystery and deal with everything else going on.

[Joanne Booth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very enjoyable read. Love the characters in this cozy murder mystery. Interesting facts about other cultures and traditions woven into a great mystery with a good dose of jeopardy for the main characters. Fun concept of a young hairdresser with a strange gift with the help of her wouldbe police officer boyfriend and colleagues, succeeding where the police fail. A great ‘feel good’ murder story without the guts and gore often found in crime novels. Looking forward to the next in the series.

[DJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book three of three and it has not disappointed me at all.

This book has even more mystery than the first two in the series. I am almost finished reading it and am DYING to read more. Alas, this is the last in the series. I am hoping Greta Boris adds more to it later on.

I am a fan of and read all of Kathy Reichs (Bones series) and Jefferson Bass (Body Farm Series). I now have a new author I am a fan of. Greta Boris!