I wish this book was called, Just Smack Him because if someone had just smacked Noah early (and perhaps often) this story would not have been necessary. What a monstrous little y'know what.
Now, here are 5 golden stars to anyone who can finish writing a novel, much less several. 5-stars for the effort. Keep them. Polish them daily if you want.
That being said, this is another 2-star in a genre that seems determined to churn out banal stories. "If I'm being honest" (a phrase taken straight from the Sapphic Fiction Handbook), this was really more of a 1-star but I recalled chuckling at one bit (I can't remember what the hell that was, but chuckles were had).
The very first line of the book has Brooke noting that Noah had broken their deal and refused to play by the rules (in this case, throwing her a birthday party). It may have seemed innocuous in the moment, but it was foreshadowing the reason for all the bad things that happen later while introducing one of the most despicable "good" supporting characters in recent memory.
The importance of Noah being a selfish tool is pushed away as Brooke complains about a Claudia. Claudia kinda feels like a girlfriend. It is not revealed for a couple of chapters that Claudia is her mom and really, you readers are stupid for not knowing this.
Then Brooke is given the character flaw--I mean trait--I mean flaw--of being a smoker. The way it is repeatedly brought up and she is chastised (and chastises herself) for it, you'd think it would build to something. It builds to her nearly but not quite stopping by the end. That's what writer's call premium character development. I mean, it could have started a fight or a fire, but yeah, no a slow fade is also exciting. Sure.
Then again going out in the alley to smoke is when Noah corners her and emotionally blackmails her into agreeing to be his fake girlfriend by almost literally saying, "I need to show my Dad that I'm strong and independent and I can't do that without you. Please please please come!" The red flags wave wherever this guy goes.
However, torture doesn't truly begin until they get to Mexico.
Right off, a "Destination Wedding" set up but making the bride irrelevant to the story is genius--or the exact opposite. Who's to say? I think her name was Meagan. Maybe?
So, Jen is Noah's mum. As far as she and the world knows, she is straight. She met Gio, Noah's father, when she was 17 and while he was married. She justifies his lie by admitting she lied about her age. This enabling will play a role later. In any case, his sisters are from at least one other mother, and Amber, the present wife is mother to none of them. So, Gio appears to be a serial philanderer with a fetish for younger women. But, we are repeatedly assured he is a good dude despite Noah's fear and anger that he'll be rejected by Gio if he finds out he's gay.
On that issue. Noah seems to be under the delusion that claiming to be bisexual is somehow more preferable to a person who may be intolerant of homosexuality. Prior to the story, it seems Noah has lied about being bi when in fact he was gay all along. What this mean is yet another story with a potentially "bi" character never doing anything bi (or even considering it) proving that anti-Bi prejudice is alive and well in the gay community.
Jen and Brooke have a meet-cute in the hotel lobby. There is some manufactured tension where they can't find Jen's reservation--as if they were sifting through a filing cabinet instead ofa computer. She smells the stench of Brooke smoking in a lobby like an idiot (see her smoking is essential to the plot, smarty!). They immediately share details of their reasons for being at the resort, but despite both being British and being there for a wedding and worrying about meeting "the mother/girlfriend", neither of them connect any dots. Not even a "Are you here for the blah-blah wedding?" Making the MCs seem like morons is a refreshing strategy. This is compounded minutes later when Brooke decides to take Jen's heaviest bag (over Jen's weak protests). Despite being unable to clear a single step, Brooke continues, while complaining about why the bag is so heavy. Jen, meanwhile, seems to think that the broken zipper is a factor in the bag's weight.
Inevitably, this abnormally heavy bag bursts open after Brooke drops it and the answer to the weight is revealed...clothes. Just clothes. Maybe a few toiletries--a freakishly large collection of tampons, even though Jen does not menstruate for the next two weeks (or ten days whatever). Underwear? That's your mortifying moment? At least have a vibrating dildo roll down the steps, turning on while doing so. Regardless of that missed comedic gold, no explanation for the excessive weight--except that Jen looks stupid for overstuffing a suitcase with a broken zipper.
A series of obnoxious wedding activities takes place that have all the fun of a forced march. While that seems to be something of the point, forcing your guests to engage in activities just so you can beat them at it is unseemly. Because of sexism functioning as tradition, the men and women often do separate activities, which forces Jen and Brooke to hang out. Of course, they grow closer and of course Noah, despite his promises to put the focus on Brooke as his fake g/f falls for the first penis to catch his eye. Noah immediately and unashamedly breaks his promise because "this penis might be the one!" He then shows he is as oblivious as his father (though no one mentions this) by gleefully shoving Brooke and Jen together for more activities, including a romantic dinner.
Jen and Brooke's first kissing session is interrupted by Noah. Does he call a cellphone? A room phone? Does he knock once and go away when no one answers? Heck no. He hammers on the door incessantly like a lunatic. A 30-year-old man reduced to a knocking version of "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!"
Before long, Jen, despite having reconciled herself to probably being alone for the rest of her life and having just admitted to an attraction to women, is imagining getting married to Brooke. Out of the blue, she imagines Brooke in a "trouser suit". Nothing so far has suggested Brooke's fashion sense went that way--but Jen applies this masculine attribute to Brooke--and forces her into the role. I mean, sure Brooke then wears a fire engine red trouser suit to the wedding--which seems like some desperate attempt to draw attention away from the bride. Regardless, LGBTQ+ couples in these books are always aping heteronormative rituals and customs, rituals and customs that reflect the oppressive aspects of the culture. Yes, tuxedos and bridal gowns--and weddings themselves do that. It's like Stockholm Syndrome across an entire population.
So, during the wedding toasts, Gio goes on and on about Noah and his wonderful girlfriend, Brooke. Noah, the selfish little shit (SLS), despite being the one who insisted upon the lie can't handle that his dad believed it and has to make a scene and storms out. Chad (the love of his life after a day or two), Brooke and Jen follow. Gio is not far behind and Noah decides this is the time to confront his uncaring and intolerant father. Instead, Gio is immediately accepting and is happy for his son. Then Noah remembers, yeah, his father had always supported him. Huh. Weird. WTAF? Sounds like Noah might have a touch of narcissistic personality disorder, but the author is presenting it as if it was a charming quirk.
A day later, after a night of passion for Brooke and Jen, Noah is once again hammering on the door. Oblivious to his mother's relative state of undress, he charges in because Mr. Perfect Chad may be less than perfect because he's still in the process of divorcing his partner and living with him. However, seeing Brooke naked in his mom's bed sends him over the edge. He accuses them of lying to him (by omission), ignoring the fact that the entire trip was built upon a lie. He is angry because shagging a parent breaks the unwritten rules of friendship, ignoring that he repeatedly breaks expicitly stated rules. He is further outraged because his mom is straight and he doesn't want her to change from his perception of her, ignoring that his anger over his (false) belief that his father was doing that to him led to all of this in the first place.
Brooke tracks him down and points some of this out and also points out that perhaps Chad isn't independently wealthy and able to simply move when it's convenient. Noah seems to accept this. Until the next morning, when Gio's standard clueless comments about a romance between Jen and Brooke, make Noah storm off--again. He reveals he isn't okay with it at all. When Gio asks him to clarify, over Brooke and Jen's protests and warnings, Noah fully outs their relationship and also putting Brooke's potential job opportunity in jeopardy-- and declares if they want to stay together, he won't have any part of it--thereby behaving in the worst possible way he imagined his father reacting but with no sense of hypocrisy or irony.
So, instead of someone smacking him (see Just Smack Him and telling him what a SLS hypocritical entitled ass he was being and that it was time to grow the f-up, Jen just mewls about "I have to put him first" (in a What's App message to Brooke). On the plane, Noah gives Brooke a half-smile and Brooke wonders what it means. The reader is left wondering since when Jen sits with her to reiterate his message, she says she lied to Noah about where she was going--and then Noah takes an entire month to finally come around and realize what a jerk he was. Even that required browbeating by Amber and Gio. So, he (not either of the MCs) arranges for them to meet. When we see Jen, in an apparent Clare Lydon Trope, she has chopped off her hair and gotten a pixie cut as sign she has accepted the lesbian label. There was no other way. You'd think the relationship with Brooke would have done that--but no. Anyway, once Noah the SLS has given his permission, Brooke and Jen are allowed to be happy.
Far too much of this story consisted of coddling and enabling Noah. Two grown women requiring the permission of a grown man to live their lives is revolting. Reviewers that think this dynamic was sweet and delightful need to stop reading, much less reviewing, books. I'm not sure they should be allowed near power tools either. Just sayin'.