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Stoic Empathy: The Road Map to a Life of Influence, Self-Leadership, and Integrity
Correct the power imbalances in your work and life with a science-backed practice that combines the rigor of Stoic philosophy with the relational impact of empathy.
Stoicism combined with empathy may sound like a contradiction in terms. But when these seemingly opposing forces are harnessed together, they have the power to change your life. In this eye-opening book, professor Shermin Kruse offers you this radical perspective shift—anchored in her compelling personal story and supported by up-to-the-minute research—to help you navigate life's challenges with power and principles.
We often think of empathy as an emotional we feel what someone else is feeling. But Kruse outlines a form of empathy that’s based in cognition, not emotion—a way for us to understand what the other person is thinking and feeling while keeping a distance from their feeling state—and shows us how we can strategically maneuver our level of engagement from "emotional empathy" to "cognitive empathy" in different circumstances. Then she utilizes Stoic philosophy and modern science to outline the how of emotional regulation and control. The bridge she builds between Stoicism and empathy gives us the knowledge and discipline we need
Calmly assess the power dynamics of any situation Understand and manage our own emotions as well as the emotions of othersDefuse danger and turn conflict into connectionSkillfully steer a challenging conversation toward the result we want
Whether you're a leader striving to succeed in your role with integrity, an educator seeking to guide curious minds with compassion, a parent nurturing resilience in your children, or simply facing a personal or professional crossroads, Stoic Empathy is an essential toolkit for negotiating success in every area of your life.
Stoicism combined with empathy may sound like a contradiction in terms. But when these seemingly opposing forces are harnessed together, they have the power to change your life. In this eye-opening book, professor Shermin Kruse offers you this radical perspective shift—anchored in her compelling personal story and supported by up-to-the-minute research—to help you navigate life's challenges with power and principles.
We often think of empathy as an emotional we feel what someone else is feeling. But Kruse outlines a form of empathy that’s based in cognition, not emotion—a way for us to understand what the other person is thinking and feeling while keeping a distance from their feeling state—and shows us how we can strategically maneuver our level of engagement from "emotional empathy" to "cognitive empathy" in different circumstances. Then she utilizes Stoic philosophy and modern science to outline the how of emotional regulation and control. The bridge she builds between Stoicism and empathy gives us the knowledge and discipline we need
Calmly assess the power dynamics of any situation Understand and manage our own emotions as well as the emotions of othersDefuse danger and turn conflict into connectionSkillfully steer a challenging conversation toward the result we want
Whether you're a leader striving to succeed in your role with integrity, an educator seeking to guide curious minds with compassion, a parent nurturing resilience in your children, or simply facing a personal or professional crossroads, Stoic Empathy is an essential toolkit for negotiating success in every area of your life.
- GenresSelf HelpRelationships
288 pages, Hardcover
Published April 8, 2025
18 people are currently reading
198 people want to read
About the author
Shermin Kruse
7 books9 followersKruse spent her early childhood in Iran prior to growing up in Canada. Now an American citizen, Kruse became the youngest female minority to partner at her downtown Chicago firm, Barack Ferrazzano, upon obtaining her law degree, cum laude, from the University of Michigan. Her strong passion for global issues and the arts is reflected in many aspects of her life, including regular contributions to scholarly legal articles and a regular advice column for Chicago Lawyer, to the co-founding of Pasfarda Arts and Cultural Organization and her wide range of hobbies, including modeling, dancing, painting and photography.
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
June 8, 2025
Every now and then, amid the hundreds of books I’ve read, one comes along that feels like a human owner’s manual — a guide not just to better understanding the world, but to living a richer, more intentional life. Stoic Empathy by Shermin Kruse is one of those rare books.
I’ve read dozens of books on Stoicism over the years, and Kruse’s work stands shoulder to shoulder with the very best — including Massimo Pigliucci’s How to Be a Stoic and Donald Robertson’s How to Think Like a Roman Emperor. What sets Stoic Empathy apart is its powerful blend of philosophical depth, emotional insight, and practical wisdom.
I discovered this gem at an author event at an independent bookstore in Evanston, Illinois — a lively evening full of cocktails, diverse conversation, and passionate ideas. Shermin Kruse led the event with aplomb, grace, and sincerity — just as she leads her readers through the pages of her wonderful book.
Stoic Empathy is written with a rare emotional touch. Kruse weaves personal experience with well-researched facts, creating a narrative that’s both deeply human and intellectually rich. Rather than simply outlining Stoic principles, she shows how empathy can — and should — coexist with Stoic resilience. It’s a perspective that feels both refreshing and necessary in today’s world.
This is a book I’ll be recommending for a long time. For anyone seeking not just to learn Stoicism, but to live it with heart, Stoic Empathy is a must-read. It’s so refreshing to have a female perspective on Stoicism. Broisisum turns off many people from this wonderful philosophy. Thank you Shermin for being a leading voice for Stoic Philosophy and for providing a balanced and empathetic text for all humans!
On a side note, I am a practicing Stoic and Meditate daily. Kruse provides many guided meditations in the book to keep you grounded in the practice. 5* Stars. Kindle/Audible/hard back
I’ve read dozens of books on Stoicism over the years, and Kruse’s work stands shoulder to shoulder with the very best — including Massimo Pigliucci’s How to Be a Stoic and Donald Robertson’s How to Think Like a Roman Emperor. What sets Stoic Empathy apart is its powerful blend of philosophical depth, emotional insight, and practical wisdom.
I discovered this gem at an author event at an independent bookstore in Evanston, Illinois — a lively evening full of cocktails, diverse conversation, and passionate ideas. Shermin Kruse led the event with aplomb, grace, and sincerity — just as she leads her readers through the pages of her wonderful book.
Stoic Empathy is written with a rare emotional touch. Kruse weaves personal experience with well-researched facts, creating a narrative that’s both deeply human and intellectually rich. Rather than simply outlining Stoic principles, she shows how empathy can — and should — coexist with Stoic resilience. It’s a perspective that feels both refreshing and necessary in today’s world.
This is a book I’ll be recommending for a long time. For anyone seeking not just to learn Stoicism, but to live it with heart, Stoic Empathy is a must-read. It’s so refreshing to have a female perspective on Stoicism. Broisisum turns off many people from this wonderful philosophy. Thank you Shermin for being a leading voice for Stoic Philosophy and for providing a balanced and empathetic text for all humans!
On a side note, I am a practicing Stoic and Meditate daily. Kruse provides many guided meditations in the book to keep you grounded in the practice. 5* Stars. Kindle/Audible/hard back
January 7, 2026
The book was overall good, but I think that if you are not familiar with Stoicism this is not the place to start. Even though there are good explanations in the back half of the book on a few major stoic principles. For those that are practicing stoics, I do think that this is an excellent resource if you are searching for ways to be an influence to others while using stoic principles.
I would recommend this book to a fellow stoic.
I would recommend this book to a fellow stoic.
July 8, 2025
Everything in this book was outstanding sans one small section. Pillar 9 in chapter 10. Annoying one-sided messaging. The rest was wonderful and useful.
April 8, 2025
I can’t stop thinking about this book. I felt like the author was speaking directly to me. I don’t usually love non-fiction, but the way Kruse wove her life narrative and other stories with the learned lessons and techniques made it all very compelling and applicable.
June 3, 2025
Shermin Kruse’s Stoic Empathy is a sharp and heartfelt exploration of how two seemingly opposing traits, stoicism and empathy, can be merged into a potent tool for influence, resilience, and personal growth. The book mixes personal history, ancient philosophy, neuroscience, and practical advice to introduce the concept of “Stoic Empathy,” the intentional blend of emotional awareness and emotional control. Kruse breaks down cognitive and emotional empathy, offers techniques from both domains, and delivers them through compelling stories, case studies, and reflections from her own turbulent journey from Iran to North America. The message is clear: you can be strong without being cold, and kind without being soft.
What struck me right away was Kruse’s voice. She doesn’t hide behind academic detachment or preach from a mountaintop. Instead, she lays her life bare—stories of war, immigration, trauma, injustice, love, and ambition. And she does it in prose that is raw but composed, often poetic but never indulgent. I felt moved, more than once, not just because of what she lived through, but how she translated those scars into strength. Her writing is both precise and deeply emotional, a difficult balance she pulls off with skill. Kruse somehow made a guidebook feel like a memoir.
Now, in terms of the ideas, some of them hit like a lightning bolt. The way she differentiates cognitive and emotional empathy, then teaches you when to use each, is flat-out brilliant. I’ve read plenty of books on leadership and emotional intelligence, but few are this actionable and easily understood. She doesn’t just give you theory, she shows how it plays out in hard rooms with high stakes. There’s pain in this book. There’s injustice. But Kruse doesn’t wallow. She’s honest about the ugliness in the world, but relentless in her belief that we can navigate it ethically, if we keep both a cool head and a warm heart.
I’d recommend Stoic Empathy to anyone who leads, whether that’s in a boardroom, a classroom, a household, or a movement. It’s especially relevant for folks juggling high-pressure decisions with a desire to stay kind and ethical. But more than that, it’s for anyone who’s ever felt torn between being tough and being tender. Kruse shows you how to be both, and more importantly, how to use that combination to change your world.
What struck me right away was Kruse’s voice. She doesn’t hide behind academic detachment or preach from a mountaintop. Instead, she lays her life bare—stories of war, immigration, trauma, injustice, love, and ambition. And she does it in prose that is raw but composed, often poetic but never indulgent. I felt moved, more than once, not just because of what she lived through, but how she translated those scars into strength. Her writing is both precise and deeply emotional, a difficult balance she pulls off with skill. Kruse somehow made a guidebook feel like a memoir.
Now, in terms of the ideas, some of them hit like a lightning bolt. The way she differentiates cognitive and emotional empathy, then teaches you when to use each, is flat-out brilliant. I’ve read plenty of books on leadership and emotional intelligence, but few are this actionable and easily understood. She doesn’t just give you theory, she shows how it plays out in hard rooms with high stakes. There’s pain in this book. There’s injustice. But Kruse doesn’t wallow. She’s honest about the ugliness in the world, but relentless in her belief that we can navigate it ethically, if we keep both a cool head and a warm heart.
I’d recommend Stoic Empathy to anyone who leads, whether that’s in a boardroom, a classroom, a household, or a movement. It’s especially relevant for folks juggling high-pressure decisions with a desire to stay kind and ethical. But more than that, it’s for anyone who’s ever felt torn between being tough and being tender. Kruse shows you how to be both, and more importantly, how to use that combination to change your world.
October 15, 2025
Quiet Power, Deep Humanity
I didn’t expect this book to hit me the way it did. Stoic Empathy isn’t about being emotionless or endlessly kind — it’s about learning to hold both strength and compassion without losing yourself.
Shermin Kruse’s approach to blending Stoicism with empathy feels both radical and deeply human. It’s not the usual “be calm and logical” advice — it’s about understanding emotions without being ruled by them. Her idea of cognitive empathy (understanding how someone feels without absorbing their pain) genuinely changed the way I approach difficult conversations.
What makes it powerful is her story — from surviving oppression in Iran to leading in corporate America, she’s lived what she teaches. There’s no preaching, just hard-earned wisdom written with grace.
If you’ve ever felt drained by caring too much, or cold from trying not to care at all, this book shows you how to find the balance.
It’s one of those rare reads that actually changes how you move through the world.
Highly recommend for anyone interested in emotional intelligence, leadership, philosophy, or just becoming calmer and stronger in everyday life.
I didn’t expect this book to hit me the way it did. Stoic Empathy isn’t about being emotionless or endlessly kind — it’s about learning to hold both strength and compassion without losing yourself.
Shermin Kruse’s approach to blending Stoicism with empathy feels both radical and deeply human. It’s not the usual “be calm and logical” advice — it’s about understanding emotions without being ruled by them. Her idea of cognitive empathy (understanding how someone feels without absorbing their pain) genuinely changed the way I approach difficult conversations.
What makes it powerful is her story — from surviving oppression in Iran to leading in corporate America, she’s lived what she teaches. There’s no preaching, just hard-earned wisdom written with grace.
If you’ve ever felt drained by caring too much, or cold from trying not to care at all, this book shows you how to find the balance.
It’s one of those rare reads that actually changes how you move through the world.
Highly recommend for anyone interested in emotional intelligence, leadership, philosophy, or just becoming calmer and stronger in everyday life.
May 5, 2025
This is a wonderful book. Shermin Kruse has written a practical, compelling, and personal guide to exerting influence in the most compassionate and ethical way. She weaves together personal anecdotes and stories, the latest scientific research, and classical philosophy into a narrative that is both gripping and insightful. I found myself dog-earing many pages as I read--pages that I will return to many times as I think about this book and apply its lessons to my own life. To top it off, it's extraordinarily well-written. Highly recommended!
October 2, 2025
I usually have to slog through this genre, reading more out of duty and desire for self improvement than enjoyment in the book, but not this one! Genuinely interesting and actually relevant to my day to day personal and professional life. I saw another review say it was like an instruction manual for people and I totally agree!
August 26, 2025
This is one of the many books my therapist has recommended since going through a breakup a few months ago.
This book has really put it into perspective for me of how I need to navigate difficult conversations and showing a greater understanding of empathy for others.
This book has really put it into perspective for me of how I need to navigate difficult conversations and showing a greater understanding of empathy for others.
January 6, 2026
Key Takeaway: An elitist narcissist is someone who believes they are superior to others, viewing themselves as exceptional. They typically exhibit arrogance, entitlement, and a need for constant validation...
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews