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Real Spies Don't Use Rowboats

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Award-Winning Adventure for Young Readers!
• Silver Medal in Children’s Action and Adventure – Global Book Awards
• Honorable Mention in Children’s Books – New England Book Festival
• First Place in Children’s Humor – Firebird Book Award

Critically acclaimed and bursting with humor and heart, this adventure is perfect for kids ages 9 and up. If they love action, laugh-out-loud moments, and unforgettable characters, this book is sure to delight!


“These kids are hilarious.” Bushnell On Books, Morning Sentinel News

Life in Cricket Cove, Maine, should be smooth sailing—unless you're John and Sam, two brothers whose summer plans are anything but ordinary.

When their dad upgrades the family’s boat with a shiny new outboard motor, the boys know exactly what it means: their chance to become real spies! After all, everyone knows real spies don't paddle—they speed through covert missions on powerboats, ready to outsmart the bad guys.

But there's just one problem. Actually, a lot of problems.

For starters, their parents aren’t exactly thrilled with the idea of them zooming around the cove, and there's the small matter of not crashing into rocks—or the boat catching fire.

Then there's the Johnson brothers, the neighborhood bullies who seem determined to ruin their spy plans at every turn.

Join John and Sam as they embark on a summer filled with wild schemes, outrageous mishaps, and laugh-out-loud moments. From daring adventures to top secret meetings, they'll learn more than just spy tactics—they'll discover the true power of teamwork, forgiveness, and finding courage in unexpected places.

Perfect for fans of Diary of A Wimpy Kid, Percy Jackson, The Wonder Years and Calvin and Hobbes, Real Spies Don’t Use Rowboats is a heartwarming adventure packed with humor, imagination, and the ups and downs of brotherhood.

READ WHAT EVERYONE IS SAYING ABOUT REAL SPIES DON’T USE ROWBOATS:

“Rich, immersive storytelling” with “themes of resilience, forgiveness and positivity.”
Literary Titan Editorial Review

Real Spies Don't Use Rowboats appeals to those who enjoy comedy, adventure, and creative writing. It is a fun and engaging story that is full of twists and turns. It also gives readers the opportunity to learn in an easy-to-understand and entertaining way.

The book is full of vivid characters and vivid settings that bring the story to life.

It is an enjoyable read that people of all ages will enjoy. Amazon Reviewer ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Highly enjoyable with lots of local Maine color! Had to chuckle quite a few times while reading it. Enjoy!
Goodreads Review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Real Spies Don’t Use Rowboats comedic observations of childhood mischief reminded me of the "Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid" by Bill Bryson.

Jeffrey Hope crafts a witty and hilarious tale of brothers John and Sam, who ambitiously set out to become spies, only to find themselves in over their heads. Their adventures in Cricket Cove, Maine, are laugh-out-loud funny and kept me turning pages.

This book is great for all ages. A fun-filled journey through childhood misadventures—witty and thoroughly enjoyable! Verified Amazon Review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Jeffrey Hope has impressively done the very difficult and joined a witty and hilarious plot with interesting characters bringing about a work of fiction that is fun for all.

John and Sam set out to become professional spies but soon realize that they may have bitten off more than they can chew! Obviously, because their father has acquired a boat engine, now they have all the credentials they need to get into the spy game. Their encounters with bullies, parents and more are often hilarious and their adventures will have readers on the edge of their seats. Verified Amazon Review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A very well written and witty book that was fun to read. My ten-year-old granddaughter couldn't put it down and that says it all! Verified Amazon Reviewer ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

210 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 15, 2024

11 people are currently reading
3 people want to read

About the author

Jeffrey Hope, born in Bangor, Maine, grew up amidst the beauty of the mid-coast area. Surrounded by the ocean and across the street from his grandparent’s working farm, he developed a passion for adventure from an early age.

With access to boats through his family, particularly his parents and grandparents who cherished sailboats, Jeffrey embarked on numerous summer escapades around John’s Bay, Penobscot Bay and Downeast Maine.

While his love for drumming initially steered him towards music, Jeffrey's fascination with storytelling prevailed. Armed with a journalism degree from Emerson College, he forged a successful career as an award-winning multi-media journalist in Maine and Alaska.

Currently, Jeffrey serves as the director of a sports journalism program in Bangor where he imparts his expertise to aspiring sports journalists.

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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
Profile Image for Reader Views.
4,892 reviews357 followers
September 19, 2024
Oh. My. Goodness. I’ve accidentally gotten in touch with my inner child through Jeffrey Hope’s “Real Spies Don’t Use Rowboats.” You can think of it as part memoir/part fiction, but 100% fun. It’s categorized as middle school action, adventure, and humor. That’s a fair assessment. But it can’t end there. To say this witty read is only for teen readers would be akin to thinking that only kids would enjoy Jean Shepherd’s enchanting “A Christmas Story” (you remember- “You’ll shoot your eye out!”) It’s not only stinkin’ thinkin’ it’s just plain unfair to adults who would find this to be great entertainment.

John and Sam are brothers growing up in rural Maine; a little place called Cricket Cove, to be exact. John acts as our illustrious narrator as he guides us through an interesting time of their otherwise idyllic childhood. Not that they would have considered it so sublime. Their term would have been “boring.” But John and Sam have been gifted something amazing by their parents. Something that’s in short supply these days. Imagination.

The boys don’t really live near other children, so they’ve learned to depend on each other for fun. It’s a good thing both brothers belong to the prestigious and super-secret society, JBS. This would be the James Bond Society. A small but mighty society (only two members), with its own JBS Rules of Survival Handbook, which the boys work on as if it were their job. They spend their days pretending they’re the inimitable Bond, James Bond as they chase the evil villains of SPECTRE or other nefarious organizations to keep the world safe. These two world-class spies chase the bad guys on the shores of their little inlet as well as on the sea. The only thing keeping them from catching those dastardly villains is the fact that their super-fast spy speedboat is actually a rowboat affectionately known as The Tub.

SPECTRE chased us across our bay every Saturday, provided it was half tide or higher…

SPECTRE also ignored us if it was raining or too windy for our rowboat. I mean, insanely fast Spy Boat with an outboard. On Saturday mornings, they also tended to wait until after Scooby Doo at ten-thirty…

John and Sam are great characters. They’re pretty typical kids for the time with decent manners, great imaginations, and parents who they try to outwit regularly. They are very relatable as they play together, work together, and occasionally squabble (they have a DMZ running through their shared bedroom).

The boys’ parents are obviously the source of their intelligence and creativity. But bear in mind that our basis for all things parental comes through the filter of 5th-grade John’s eyes- a probable unreliable narrator. For instance:

Mom, who looked truly worried about something, suddenly lost control of her chin, like a muscle spasm. Was Mom going to cry? If so, that was frightening, plain and simple. Mom did not cry. Mom was a warrior. Mom was a sailor who took the helm in any weather. Mom was Mom. This was just not done.

Another case in point:

When it comes to food, Mom was the family expert, with the huge exception of her French Fish Soup. I like soup, and I like fish, but any food that is the color of mud season in Maine should be banned. If my plans to be a professional spy do not work out, I’m going to become a lawyer just to pass a law that prohibits children from being served this international crime in a bowl.

Dad is another great character, most often represented by the different voices he uses. The boys have learned to keep an ear out for their father’s various intonations, such as the Work Voice Dad, which usually spells trouble if he’s speaking to you. There’s also the Friends and Family Dad, and Professor Dad. Occasionally Professor Work Voice Dad even comes into play when things are NASA-level rocket-science important.

You may be getting the idea that this book is what would have been called (back in the day) a “laugh riot.” You’d be right. The viewpoint of this story is pure fun all the way through as 5th-grade John and 4th-grade Sam attempt to navigate the various events adults throw into their lives, i.e.- life in general. Every page, every conversation, every observation is the definition of whimsy, wit, or it’s simply outrageously silly. Sweet buttered biscuits! I loved every minute of it. But while I was being uproariously entertained, I was also getting schooled about forgiveness, the Big Picture, and building self-esteem in a hostile environment. There is tremendous heart here, reminding me of the crazy and wonderful “Calvin and Hobbes” cartoons.

Parents who are concerned about coarse language should take note. While it is rare in this story, there are a very few places where adult-ish language is dropped into the conversation. In each case, it seems appropriate to the situation and is not the focal point. Except for one very memorable scene involving Reverend Thomas Bastard and the Committee to Approve Saucy Language. But be assured, no f-bombs were used in the authoring of this book. If you have concerns, read the book first yourself- you’ll be glad you did!

So, bottom line: who would enjoy this book? Definitely middle graders; young teens. They will find much they can relate to here and things they can discuss with their parents, even. But let’s not overlook the adults who are still in touch with their inner youth or perhaps need to be reminded of it. Especially (but not limited to) those silver foxes and platinum panthers– those card-carrying members of Medicare—who will specifically find much to enjoy here as the boys remind them of childhood in “their day.” Jeffrey Hope has committed a rare act here in authoring “Real Spies Don’t Use Rowboats,” a story with such creative glee that it can span generations, delighting each of them. Perhaps even opening up communication between the age spans.

Profile Image for Thomas.
14 reviews
July 23, 2024
Highly enjoyable with lots of local Maine color! Had to chuckle quite a few times while reading it. Enjoy!
Profile Image for Literary Titan.
750 reviews85 followers
September 28, 2024
Real Spies Don’t Use Rowboats, written by Jeffrey Hope, is an engaging tale of adventure and camaraderie, set in the picturesque town of Cricket Cove, Maine. The story centers on two brothers, Sam and John, who, inspired by their father's new high-powered fishing boat, dream of becoming professional spies. Their journey, however, is far from smooth as they face challenges from the bully-minded Johnson brothers and grapple with their parents' concerns for their safety.

Hope’s storytelling is rich and immersive, bringing the setting of Cricket Cove to life with vivid descriptions that transport the reader into the heart of the boys' adventures. His writing style is both descriptive and visually stimulating, adding layers of intrigue to the plot. The author skillfully navigates the boys' escapades, weaving in multiple twists and misadventures that keep the reader engaged from start to finish. The narrative begins with the brothers gaining access to their father's boat, marking the start of their quest to become spies. Despite the various obstacles they encounter, including dealing with bullies and overcoming their parents' worries, Sam and John remain undeterred. Their resilience and unwavering determination provide a valuable lesson for young readers, encouraging them to stay hopeful and persistent in the face of challenges.

The characters in Real Spies Don’t Use Rowboats are well-developed and likable, with each one possessing depth and background that adds richness to the story. The bond between Sam and John is particularly heartwarming, showcasing the strength of family ties and the importance of supporting one another. In addition to its captivating plot, the book imparts important life lessons, emphasizing themes of forgiveness, resilience, and positivity. It’s a story that not only entertains but also inspires, making it a great read for young audiences. Jeffrey Hope has crafted a memorable adventure that will leave readers eagerly anticipating the next twist in Sam and John’s journey.
Profile Image for Helena Regan.
109 reviews1 follower
December 31, 2025
Jeffrey Hope delivers a smart, genuinely funny middle grade adventure that understands childhood imagination better than most books in the genre. Real Spies Don’t Use Rowboats captures that magical space where everyday life and wild fantasy collide, turning an ordinary summer in a quiet Maine coastal town into something unforgettable.
At the heart of the story are brothers John and Sam, whose logic is perfectly childlike and completely convincing: real spies don’t paddle, so a motorized boat must mean they’re finally ready for covert missions. What follows is a fast paced series of misadventures filled with sibling banter, neighborhood rivalries, and escalating schemes that never feel forced or exaggerated. The humor is sharp but warm, landing naturally rather than relying on gimmicks.
Hope’s greatest strength is his character work. John and Sam feel real flawed, impulsive, and endearing while the parents, bullies, and townspeople round out the world with authenticity and charm. Cricket Cove itself is vividly rendered, adding a strong sense of place that grounds the story even as the boys’ imaginations run wild.
Beyond the laughs, the book quietly explores themes of courage, responsibility, forgiveness, and brotherhood without becoming preachy. Young readers will enjoy the action and comedy, while adults will recognize the emotional honesty beneath the fun. It’s the kind of book that invites rereading and shared laughter.
Fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Calvin and Hobbes, or nostalgic coming of age stories will feel right at home here. Real Spies Don’t Use Rowboats is a confident, award worthy adventure that proves humor and heart can sail together effortlessly.
Profile Image for Jasmine Boyle.
47 reviews1 follower
November 30, 2024
Hope instantly transports you to growing up on the Maine coast before there were cellphones, Apple Watches, or AirTags for parents to helicopter their kids. John and Sam are aspiring real spies with one problem, their rowboat. Real spies need something faster that can catch the bad guys and run away at a moments notice. Enter “Evin,” the new outboard that changes everything for them.

Joining John and Sam for a glimpse of life as a kid in Maine on adventures that include pancakes with real maple syrup, avoiding “the arm” looking to breakup a fight in the backseat, analyzing if the Empire State Building would make a good James Bond movie set, and floating past seaweed clumps in the Tub, is a charming, curious, and nostalgic hug for anyone that was once (or still is) a kid. Encouraging imagination on all fronts, Hope has created a family and sibling bond that once you read about you’ll be excitedly waiting for the next volume of adventures from Cricket Cove.
Profile Image for Evelyn Adam.
33 reviews1 follower
February 6, 2026
Real Spies Don’t Use Rowboats by Jeffrey Hope is a laugh-out-loud, heart-warming middle-grade adventure that perfectly captures the chaos, imagination, and magic of childhood summers. John and Sam’s “spy missions” are packed with humor, sibling banter, and just enough mischief to keep pages flying, while still delivering meaningful lessons about teamwork, courage, and forgiveness.

With its charming seaside setting and relatable family dynamics, this award-winning story is pure fun for young readers and nostalgic delight for adults. I highly recommend this book for anyone who loves clever humor, big imagination, and stories that celebrate brotherhood and growing up.
1 review5 followers
September 15, 2024
All ages will enjoy this funny and witty book. I enjoyed the young person's perspective of adult behavior and communication. Readers will follow a summer adventure for two bright, imaginative, and curious brothers growing up in coastal Maine in the 1970s. The characters are well developed and interesting. "Hopefully" there'll be more adventures written soon about these two young people. Highly recommend it.
24 reviews2 followers
December 10, 2025
Real Spies Don’t Use Rowboats is pure fun from start to finish. John and Sam’s summer escapades in Cricket Cove are packed with humor, mischief, and surprising warmth. Their “spy missions” lead to chaos, lessons in courage, and the kind of brotherly moments that feel honest and real. With bullies, mishaps, and wild imagination, this story delivers adventure and heart in equal measure. A charming, laugh out loud read perfect for young adventurers.
Profile Image for Kris Paulsen.
Author 1 book54 followers
December 7, 2024
This book was a fun read filled with nostalgia. Two brothers have quite a fun filled summer where their imagination is everything--- spies on a mission and rowboat that gets in upgrade. This book is good for middle graders and beyond.
Profile Image for R. Hollis.
Author 21 books12 followers
January 20, 2025
Very fun

Borrowed this with a 13 yo in mind and it was a hit! Although I enjoyed it also, especially the reference to Sir Sean, the greatest Bond. Spy movies wouldn't have gotten anywhere without him!
13 reviews
October 2, 2024
great story

The story is very well written and full of adventure you can tell the author took his time in writing this and it show I loves it
Profile Image for Jim Hardison.
Author 26 books74 followers
December 1, 2024
A Charming Adventure

‘Real Spies Don’t Use Rowboats’ was a warm and funny reflection on the magic of imagination. Although I grew up in a very different part of the country, this story reminded me a lot of the countless adventures I got up to with my own little brother. Although written for younger readers, I found this entertaining and engaging. Lots of fun.
Profile Image for Deborah.
678 reviews11 followers
December 28, 2024
A wonderful story for the young or young at heart. The book brings to light the thoughts of a young boy growing up in Maine. Such a fun story!
3 reviews
January 14, 2025
Very interesting history

Impossible to not read until the end.
My only recommendation is to add pictures, that will retain better young readers.
Profile Image for J.E. Frank.
Author 3 books1 follower
January 25, 2025
good fun spies

Well written and easy to follow. I liked the writing style, perfect for 5th graders. It’s a good story that kids can relate to. A good read for a road trip.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews

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