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435 pages, Hardcover
First published May 14, 2024
From the time he was chosen for 5F, Oliver's life was not his own...
Then he got older, and things changed. He had obligations he had to fulfill, contracts he'd signed. Touring was exhausting, and the guys started growing apart. They were growing up, really, and all feeling trapped in different ways... All of them, to a certain degree, felt trapped in the image of themselves invented by fans... The images had truth to them, sure, but by then they were older. Kids that age tried new things and reinvented themselves, but the 5F guys were destined to stay the same for eternity, like one of those insects trapped in amber.
In the case of Oliver, [he was] trapped in hotel rooms. That's when he discovered the mini-fridges, and all the bottles inside. How they numbed him, passed the time... Soon after, he tried drugs and realized they worked even better.
There was no one to pull him back or question his growing addiction. The people who worked for him knew... [While] they liked Oliver, they weren't his friends; they worked for him. [And, when the band ended], he leaned into the best comfort he knew-- those little bottles in the minibar. Only now the bottles were big, and he could have as many as he wanted. And the drugs were even easier to find.
5F was over, but [Oliver] was still a member, even then. That's how everyone saw him, and they wanted to hang around and party. They'd give compliments, bags of coke, anything he wanted. 'We're Friends,' they'd say. To this day, he can't remember any of their names.
And addicts can get better, right? They can beat their demons. It isn't easy, but who's to say Liam can't be one of them?