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The Refuge: My Journey to the Safe House for Battered Women
Until 1971, female victims of domestic violence were expected to 'kiss and make up' with their husbands, hide their black eyes and bruises, and bear the shame that somehow their partners' brutality was their fault. Chiswick Women's Aid was Europe's first ever refuge for what were then called 'battered women', and Jenny Smith was one of the first females who bravely made their way to this much-needed safe house. Desperate, and in fear for her life and the welfare of her two small children, Jenny had fled her dangerously schizophrenic partner, carrying only a few possessions. In the Chiswick shelter, founded by famous women's rights campaigner Erin Pizzey, Jenny found other women in the same position, all with harrowing, extraordinary stories to tell. Amenities were basic, but the respect, kindness and humanity of the community would help to give Jenny a new lease of life and strength. When the safe house came under threat of closure, she lobbied parliament and drove across Europe in a convoy of women in camper vans to raise awareness of their plight. Jenny's story is a slice of social history that begins in a Derbyshire mining village in the 1950s and takes the reader to inner city of Hackney in the 1960s, and Jenny's heart-breaking journey to the refuge. The house was the subject of a famous documentary, Scream Quietly or the Neighbours Will Hear, which, when first broadcast in 1974, sent shockwaves through the UK. Jenny was one of the first women to break a taboo by speaking publicly about domestic abuse. With the new start afforded her by the refuge, Jenny went on to find love, have another child and work as a foster carer.
- GenresNonfiction
309 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
October 25, 2022
Very moving account of mental illness and domestic violence.
Jenny's story about living with a mentally ill mother and her life as a teenage runaway coping with the horrors of homelessness and living rough on the streets is written with complete honesty and is completely shocking. Her marriage and the descent of her husband into dangerous mental illness and the ensuing mental cruelty and extreme domestic violence is heartbreaking. Her care for her children and the courage she had to flee to a refuge run by compassionate charity workers after all other attempts for help from the church, police, social workers and doctors were ignored is enlightening.
Jenny's story about living with a mentally ill mother and her life as a teenage runaway coping with the horrors of homelessness and living rough on the streets is written with complete honesty and is completely shocking. Her marriage and the descent of her husband into dangerous mental illness and the ensuing mental cruelty and extreme domestic violence is heartbreaking. Her care for her children and the courage she had to flee to a refuge run by compassionate charity workers after all other attempts for help from the church, police, social workers and doctors were ignored is enlightening.
June 16, 2023
A brilliant true life account of the awful experiences of domestic abuse. Really powerful account of the first ever refuge and the struggles to get support before this was available. I loved the positive effects that came from the support of women supporting women. The effect on the children is a hugely important aspect relevant to my current job.
February 25, 2017
A excellent story
The story was so true ,for many women ,The 60 we're times ,when women couldn't get out of violent relationship ,Couldn't tell parents or friends ,to ashamed ,because ,the abuser always said it was there fault .So glad they can get help in this era
The story was so true ,for many women ,The 60 we're times ,when women couldn't get out of violent relationship ,Couldn't tell parents or friends ,to ashamed ,because ,the abuser always said it was there fault .So glad they can get help in this era
November 12, 2021
Eye opening and emotional however I didn't find the end of the book as enticing as the rest.
June 5, 2019
Shocking and troubling story of Jenny Smith’s life. Really well written and admirable in the honesty of the story. Definately worth reading.
May 8, 2014
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Jenny Smith born in 1946 was brought up in Derbyshire and the Prologue describes the warm, happy memories she has of her early childhood, the Roast dinners, homemade cakes, loving parents and lots of children in the neighbourhood to get into mischief with. Sadly her mother is diagnosed with schizophrenia and this has a huge impact on Jenny's emotional well-being as she struggles to make sense of her mothers rages and hallucinations. At the age of 13 Jenny runs away to London where she ends up getting involved in prostitution in order to survive. After a year on the streets she is reunited with her family only to be sentenced to a year in an Approved school.
Jenny's book covers so many sad topics, mental illness, runaways, prostitution, homelessness, Mixed race marriage, poverty and domestic violence. After getting into an abusive relationship Jenny manages to escape with her two daughters to a refuge for battered women in Chiswick, run by Erin Pizzey. The strength of these women is incredible and Erin has made a promise to never turn a battered away. The book describes Jenny's time at the refuge and beyond. The book mentioned two documentaries that were filmed in the refuge, "Scream quietly or the neighbours will here" and "Sanctuary" which was filmed in 1991 for Channel 4. The former was filmed with the same title as Erin Pizzey's book written a couple of years prior to the documentary. I would love to see this book available on Kindle and I'm also now in search online of any clips of the Sanctuary documentary. Erin Pizzey sounds an amazing woman with the strength to fight for what she believed in no matter what the personal cost.
Jenny's style of writing makes this a very easy read despite the harrowing subject matter. She is excellent at creating imagery of what it was like to live in Hackney, London in the late 60's early 70's and the racism that many new immigrants from the West Indies faced from the locals and the police. There are brighter moment where she describes the atmosphere at the Shabeens, the Caribbean food that she comes to love and the smells and sounds of the local markets. As well as living in the same district as the notorious Kray twins.
Later in life Jenny becomes a foster carer something which she is well equipped for with her past experiences. An excellent read, tragic yet inspiring in equal measure.
Jenny's book covers so many sad topics, mental illness, runaways, prostitution, homelessness, Mixed race marriage, poverty and domestic violence. After getting into an abusive relationship Jenny manages to escape with her two daughters to a refuge for battered women in Chiswick, run by Erin Pizzey. The strength of these women is incredible and Erin has made a promise to never turn a battered away. The book describes Jenny's time at the refuge and beyond. The book mentioned two documentaries that were filmed in the refuge, "Scream quietly or the neighbours will here" and "Sanctuary" which was filmed in 1991 for Channel 4. The former was filmed with the same title as Erin Pizzey's book written a couple of years prior to the documentary. I would love to see this book available on Kindle and I'm also now in search online of any clips of the Sanctuary documentary. Erin Pizzey sounds an amazing woman with the strength to fight for what she believed in no matter what the personal cost.
Jenny's style of writing makes this a very easy read despite the harrowing subject matter. She is excellent at creating imagery of what it was like to live in Hackney, London in the late 60's early 70's and the racism that many new immigrants from the West Indies faced from the locals and the police. There are brighter moment where she describes the atmosphere at the Shabeens, the Caribbean food that she comes to love and the smells and sounds of the local markets. As well as living in the same district as the notorious Kray twins.
Later in life Jenny becomes a foster carer something which she is well equipped for with her past experiences. An excellent read, tragic yet inspiring in equal measure.
February 19, 2017
Memoir about the life of a woman who escaped an abusive marriage. Reading this book made me feel quite disappointed that not too long ago (1970's) domestic violence was not even on the radar in England......even more disappointing in how this woman was treated by medical "professionals" and church leaders when she turned to them for help. Remarkable story and such courage.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 6, 2017
Inspiring story
Jenny Smith takes the reader through her childhood and adolescence in Derbyshire to her time spent as a runaway in London . She details her time spent in an approved school and short lived teenage marriage. Drawn to London once again she chronicles her relationship with Lenny and the births of her two daughters. Fearful for her life and after pleas for help from the clergy and doctors following repeated and severe beatings she finally finds help from pioneering Erin Pizzey who has set up a women's refuge . An inspiring tale of female comaradie and fierce determination to change the lives of those suffering domestic violence...Excellent read
Jenny Smith takes the reader through her childhood and adolescence in Derbyshire to her time spent as a runaway in London . She details her time spent in an approved school and short lived teenage marriage. Drawn to London once again she chronicles her relationship with Lenny and the births of her two daughters. Fearful for her life and after pleas for help from the clergy and doctors following repeated and severe beatings she finally finds help from pioneering Erin Pizzey who has set up a women's refuge . An inspiring tale of female comaradie and fierce determination to change the lives of those suffering domestic violence...Excellent read
August 17, 2015
Very easy to read. I was amazed that this story was referring to the early 1970s. According to the book it wasn't until 1976 that an act was passed which finally gave protection to women being physically beaten by their husbands. Up until then no police officer, church leader or passerby was likely to take notice of a woman who said her husband was violent towards her.
May 29, 2014
Brilliant true story by Jenny smith who was one of the women who found the first UK safe house for 'battered women' in the 70's after her awful marriage to a schizophrenic. Well worth reading couldn't put it down.
October 11, 2014
I really did enjoy this book, it describes everything in so much details and I really did wince when Jenny was describing her beatings from Lenny. She is really is such a brave lady and such an inspiration. Women shouldn't suffer in silence with domestic violence.
September 21, 2014
A truly inspirational book written by a brave & determined lady. Scream Quietly or the Neighbours will Hear was a book I read some time ago & having read that made this book all the more interesting.
July 13, 2014
inspirational
November 15, 2022
What an amazing book
May 22, 2015
Great book. 70s social history.
February 11, 2018
a very touching book about a young girl growing up and the darkness that descends over the family with her mother's mental illness' unable to cope jenny takes to the streets doing what she has to survive. eventually she reconciles with her family then decides to go back to London where with a job and bedsit she stumbles on a new way of life starting in London 1960s where there are a vast number of migrants coming into the country through them she meets good music and a way of life that suits her she meets her husband who has to cope with the increasing racism from public and police alike leading to increasing domestic violence to Jenny. she realizes she has nowhere to go nowhere to keep her subsequent children safe but one day she reads of Erin Pizzey who has set up a refuge for battered wives and makes plans to flee. there follow the strengthening and blossoming of her character a brief reunion with her husband sees her understanding that the mental illness' he has is not her fault and after a hospital stay he goes back to his own country to be cared for by his mother. jenny has many fights ahead of her but the end of the book sees her settled having done some fostering grown-up children grandchildren a very happy life its a very touching book which will move you to tears in places its a very good picture of social history in the 1960s and the fantastic way women now have a way out of an awful situation
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews