All the Little Monsters: How I Learned to Live with Anxiety

by David Alexander Robertson, Shelagh Rogers (Foreword)

With humour, warmth and heartbreaking honesty, award-winning author David A. Robertson explores the struggles and small victories of living with chronic anxiety and depression, and shares his hard-earned wisdom in the hope of making other people’s mental health journeys a little less lonely

From the outside, David A. Robertson looks as if he has it all together—a loving family, a successful career as an author, and a platform to promote Indigenous perspectives, cultures and concerns. But what we see on the outside rarely reveals what is happening inside. Robertson lives with “little monsters”: chronic, debilitating health anxiety and panic attacks accompanied, at times, by depression. During the worst periods, he finds getting out of bed to walk down the hall an insurmountable task. During the better times, he wrestles with the compulsion to scan his body for that sure sign of a dire health crisis.

In All the Little Monsters, Robertson reveals what it’s like to live inside his mind and his body and describes the toll his mental health challenges have taken on him and his family, and how he has learned to put one foot in front of the other as well as to get back up when he stumbles. He also writes about the tools that have helped him carry on, including community, therapy, medication and the simple question he asks himself on repeat: what if everything will be okay?

In candidly sharing his personal story and showing that he can be well even if he can’t be “cured,” Robertson hopes to help others on their own mental health journeys.

Genres: Nonfiction, Canada, Memoir, Mental Health, Indigenous, Self Help, Audiobook

268 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 21, 2025

About the author

DAVID A. ROBERTSON is a two-time winner of the Governor General's Literary Award, has won the TD Canadian Children’s Literature Award, as well as the Writer's Union of Canada Freedom to Read award. He has received several other accolades for his work as a writer for children and adults, podcaster, public speaker, and social advocate. He was honoured with a Doctor of Letters by the University of Manitoba for outstanding contributions in the arts and distinguished achievements in 2023. He is a member of Norway House Cree Nation and lives in Winnipeg.

Reviews

[JR]

This is a candid look into the life of David, A Robertson an Indigenous author, and his journey with anxiety. A good look into what anxiety can do to your brain as well as your body as David fights with both constantly, this isn’t really a book about how to get rid of your anxiety, but how to live with it. This is of course, David’s journey and everyone is different.

Having lived with and continue to live with anxiety, I’ve read a lot of these books in the last few years, and even during my worst times I feel like I was never as bad as David with his not being able to get out of bed or constantly scanning my body all day, so I found myself comparing my experience and just can’t connect to the material. A lot of things seem to be like a copout to me. Because I didn’t experience the same things on my own journey.

Overall, I enjoyed a local author, sharing what he went through, while not holding him back.

Special shout out to the Brandon Walmart Photo Lab
4⭐️

[Stacey Bradley · Rating 5 out of 5]

To start, I have to say how much I love the cover of this book! I also love the title and the comparison of anxiety to the little monsters who have invaded daily life for David. I stepped into this book expecting to learn about anxiety and it's impacts, but I wasn't prepared for how personal the story would be. I am in awe of the bravery shown by David as he so openly shared not only his experience with anxiety and depression, but also how it has impacted his family.

For those of us who try to understand but just don't know, this gives us a glimpse into how difficult it can be to fight the little monsters all day, every day. For those of us who have loved ones who struggle with anxiety, depression or other mental health struggles, although we want to help, empathize and understand, it is hard to feel what you have not experienced. David's story allows us to enter the discomfort if just for a little while.

For those readers who are looking for a community, I believe this book may be the bridge. Thank you David for openly sharing your struggles, my hope is that this will encourage more discussion so that we will continue to talk, share, and support.

Thank you to Harper Collins Canada and NetGalley for the advance copy.

[theliterateleprechaun · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous book and event last night!

⭐ Review to be posted soon! ⭐

[Rachelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an accessible memoir about dealing with anxiety in all forms. As someone who also has had past heart problems along with a remaining benign arrhythmia, I could relate to some of what he has gone through and the ensuing health anxiety. I have never heard anyone else talk about it and how they also have to carefully avoid caffeine and alcohol.

On the off chance he reads his reviews, I encourage him to exercise anyway. It has been one of the best things for me mentally and physically. My heart didn’t like hitting my max (near 200 bpm) after two races this year, which was new and something I should address with my doctor but don’t because nothing ever comes of it (as he mentions in the book), but otherwise, I raise my heart rate regularly with only positive results. I get way more symptoms when I am overworked, stressed, and not exercising.

I didn’t have too many takeaways because I have quite a few tools in my anxiety toolbox already, but it was one of the most relatable and readable books on the subject. I easily recommend it if you have anxiety or even imposter syndrome, as he addresses that nicely.

[Olivier · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's the first time I've taken the time to write a review, but I felt I needed to. This book is amazing. As a huge health worrier, I now feel that I am not alone. Dealing with anxiety, specifically health anxiety, is tough. But knowing that a great author like David A. Robertson also struggles with mental health gives me hope for the future.
Thank you David. I hope I'll get to meet you someday !

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good!!

[Charlene Carr · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's hard to know what to say, as I could say so much, so I'll keep it simple: this was a beautiful and vulnerable memoir that has the potential of helping so many people, and that helped me. I highly recommend it!

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a moving and raw, emotionally charged memoir about the author's experience losing his father, his grief, anxieties, depression and work trying to manage all of the above during a pandemic, promoting his books and going through an estrangement with his daughter. Told in a very relatable manner, this was a beautifully honest book that was also great on audio read by the author himself. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest review!

CW: suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety

[Sarah Butland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading a memoir of a stranger is one thing, witnessing transformation of a person on the page is something else entirely. David brilliantly confesses to his personal and family struggles in a way that connects, compels and clarifies while avoiding preaching, patronizing and politicizing.

He speaks of his fears while facing them, of his troubles while challenging them and offers solutions for those who can relate. From beginning to end, this story captured so much beautiful essence and trials I was wrapped within every word.

[Jacob · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir meant a lot to me both as someone who has experienced generalized anxiety my whole life, and as the spouse of someone who experiences significant health anxiety and compulsions.

It was validating and also instructive (vis a vis my wife's experience) to see so clearly represented what anxiety - especially health anxiety and OCD - can feel like, on a physical level, and how it is experienced cognitively and emotionally.

I appreciated the clear organization and writing of the book. It was easy to understand and follow Robertson's journey. He says he tries to write like you're sitting face to face with him telling you a story, and it really does feel like that.

It is remarkable that although Robertson has struggled so much, he has been able to have such a successful career as a public servant and author, as well as being a husband and father of five. It's a good reminder that you never know what someone might be working through just below the surface. On the outside, Robertson may seem to have it together, but he transparently shares that because of anxiety, he is still working on what may seem like simple goals to someone without his anxieties: taking the stairs, being able to go for a walk/get exercize; deviating from his specific meal schedule; getting a full nights sleep; experiencing any new bodily sensation without googling it as a symptom; going on vacation with his family.

Through sharing these struggles, he made me feel better about my own and those of people I love.

[Maggie (Magsisreadingagain) · Rating 5 out of 5]

David A. Robertson is one of my favorite Canadian, and Manitoban, authors. He is a prolific writer, and with this new memoir, he has gone behind his own scenes, and laid bare the truth of the anxiety and depression that have accompanied his life since childhood. He details the moments he has been crippled by panic attacks and the physical manifestations of his anxiety, discussing openly how it has affected his daily life and that of his family. He discusses the steps he has taken, and those he has not pursued, to find a healthier way forward.

Working in the field of mental health, I have seen how anxiety affects many people, manifesting in numerous forms, with presentation as individual as the client I am working with. Robertson emphasizes this throughout the book. He is sharing his journey, his struggles, his milestones. And yet, his writing style makes this topic approachable for anyone experiencing anxiety, or wanting to know more about its effects on people. I can’t think of a better book to help destigmatize mental health, and open up larger conversations.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Harper Collin’s Canada for providing me with a free ARC in exchange for my honest thoughts. I highly recommend this beautiful book.

[Matt Watts · Rating 5 out of 5]

David A. Robertson opens himself up, exposing his mental health struggles to the world in a book that perfectly relays the thought process of a person suffering with severe anxiety. Heartfelt and harrowing. If you're anxious, you'll feel seen. If you're not anxious, you should gain insight and understanding. Beautiful work.

[Kerri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Touched my heart and quieted my little monsters as I read.

[Matt Valcourt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you David Robertson for sharing your story. Like you, I also share the struggles of anxiety, depression and panic disorder. Your writing hit home on many levels. We share a magnitude of similarities and I found this comforting. I feel as if you have been able to build a collective community in the story of your mental health journey, something I hope to reciprocate.

In your words: I got this. We got this.

[❀ Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kudos to David Alexander Robertson for sharing his own history with anxiety and depression. He has shared his own challenges, the impacts on his family, his grief at the loss of his dad with a frank, openness that will help others to recognize their own challenges or support others.

I have enjoyed his middle grade Misewa series and did not have any idea of the mental health challenges he has dealt with.

This book has given me a deeper understanding of supporting others to deal with their anxiety and I appreciate his honesty. Here are a few important bits to note:

"there's a saying. Ninety-nine percent of things you worry about never happen"
"worry never stops anything from happening"
"the goal isn't to traumatize; it is to empower"
"every day, we're faced with several choices when it comes to mental health issues. We face something, or we run from it".
"the more you listen to anxiety, or any mental health challenge, the bigger it gets, the more it weights you down"

[Gabriele Goldstone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Watching someone close to me struggle with anxiety has been difficult. Reading this memoir gave me a better understanding of how to support them. Robertson’s authenticity took courage and reminds me of why reading is such a powerful tool for healing. We need more honesty, more real. And more good music!

Is it the long, cold winters? Winnipeg is home to some wonderful creators!

[Janet Hutchinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

It takes courage to write about the demons that plague you, and the anxiety, depression, and general mental health issues that form your life. Robertson writes openly about his mental health, his attempts to deal with the various symptoms and anxieties, and the impact on his writing career. A raw and honest read, at times difficult, but it’s time that mental health is openly acknowledged as a crisis, and I applaud Robertson's courage in writing this.

[Lin · Rating 5 out of 5]

All the Little Monsters is an incredibly candid and personal account of Robertson’s experience with anxiety, depression and other conditions (affecting both his physical and mental health). His experiences resonate with me on many levels, reflecting my own experiences with anxiety and my partner’s experience with anxiety and depression. David, writing about his experience in such great detail with such candour and honesty, is not only brave but incredibly generous.

Thank you, David, for having the courage to tell your story and the drive to help people navigate this illness, so we may all be reminded that we are not alone in this experience, that can, so often, be so painful and isolating.

[Christine Heinen · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5 ⭐️
a raw, emotional, moving story of anxiety and what it can do to the brain. i found myself captivated from the jump and am proud of him for sharing his story with the world. recommend checking out this beautiful indigenous author!

side note… just within the prologue he mentioned: he’s from winnipeg, mentioned hospital i was born in. now i calgary. mentioned nenshi. has family members that had als. sitting here questioning… do i know this man?!? are we related lol it sure made me feel an unexpected connection to him :)

[Enid Wray · Rating 5 out of 5]

As always where David Robertson is concerned I say “Thank You” for the gifts you (always) give us.
Notwithstanding that David himself states that “(t)here are no fancy words here. This is not literary…” (p246) there is a literary aspect to this in both the structure and the content.

His message of “It’s OK to not be OK” - while ever so trite but also so true - will resonate with so many.

And let’s face it - he totally nails it wrt the lived experience, with a no holds barred honesty that is refreshing… especially when he talks about all of the times that he has ‘masked’ his anxiety.

As he himself also states, his goal is to empower, not to traumatise… and I think he does that in spades.

Highly recommended.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for granting me access to an early digital review copy.

[Alyssa Becker · Rating 2 out of 5]

I want to preface this by saying that when I read the title and description quickly, I was highly intrigues by this book. As a person with GAD, I was curious what insights David Robertson would bring to the table based on his experiences with GAD. I also assumed that this book was more focused on anxiety and strategies, but in reality it was a memoir. I genuinely appreciate anyone brave enough to put their personal narratives out into the world, and so this isn't a review of his experiences of how well the book was written, but more about how I engaged with it.

While the description mentions that his anxiety is connected to medical anxiety, medical anxiety is really all he talks about in the book. Because it is a memoir - and therefore a reflection of his personal experience - it wasn't the well rounded or insightful book on anxiety I was looking for or needed. For someone who was spent 25 years living with an anxiety disorder, I found it strange that there was very little in the book that I felt connected to my own personal experiences. I wasn't able to find any of the take aways or "so it's not just me!" moments that I was expecting. That's not a bad thing - it just means that this book just really wasn't for me. I definitely learned about and understand David's experiences better, and should I meet someone in the future who also struggles with medical anxieties, I will definitely have a better insight into what that looks like and feels like, and know how to better support them and understand them. I just felt like the book was selling one thing and gave me another, and so it left me unfulfilled. I know this book will hit home for many, and I'm grateful that he was willing to share his story with others, but for me, it lacked a little of the depth, analysis, connection points that I was looking for.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Canadian David Robertson in a two time Governor General Literary award winner. He has won numerous other literary awards and has written many books. He is Indigenous (Cree). Already a voice for Indigenous peoples, David, in this latest book, has become a voice for awareness of mental illness. He has suffered for most of his life with anxiety and depression, and has been so debilitated with it at times that he was not able to leave his bed. All the little monsters, scurrying around in his head, making his heart beat too fast, making him believe that if he did something like just go to the store, he might die. I think it takes a lot of courage to share something like this, and because he has done it, it has made it easier for others to acknowledge it as well.

Foreward is by Shelagh Rogers, who is also Indigenous (I didn't know this) and has also had terrible battles with her mental health. (I didn't know this either)

Kudos to the author for accomplishing so much while battling almost insurmountable illness. And bravo to his family and friends for being there always. Not everyone is that lucky.

[Camille · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have anxiety of any form or magnitude in your life (or, in a loved one’s life), read. this. book.

Alternatively, if you just want to hang out with very cool author David A. Robertson in your head for about 6 hours or so, read this book. He seems really nice, and I’m so glad he wrote this deeply vulnerable, generous memoir.

Also, it starts with an incident in Calgary and, though I was genuinely worried and empathetic about the physical and mental anguish he was going through, a small part of me was also like: “I live there!”

[Nick Anderson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not to disparage Robertson, his writing, or his courage in baring his soul through this memoir, but I simply didn’t connect with it, myself. Robertson focuses almost exclusively on his experience with medical anxiety, specifically, and the book is less of a text on the spectrum of generalized anxiety than I anticipated.

[JB · Rating 2 out of 5]

There’s a strong and important book in here, but it’s buried in layer upon layer of unedited text that reads like a first-draft dump. I’m glad to have read this, but I wish it had received full and proper editorial attention, as the book could have been half the length it ultimately was and made twice as powerful for that.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

Reads like a memoir on health anxiety; couldn’t finish

[Kate]

Rambling, personal exploration.

[Marg Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I sent David a message on social media thanking him for his writing he immediately responded. Usually when authors say things like “I am here for you” they are playing to your need for connection in words only. When David says that he is there for you, he really means it! That is the kind of author and PERSON that he is!

I have read a few of his books (Theory of Crows is my absolute favourite!) and going into this book I had no idea what to expect. I picked it up as I was curious what he could say that I didn’t already know since I was going into it with the experience of a care giver. As someone who has grown up with mental illness in their family, I expected a clinical book with the occasional personal anecdote thrown in. But what I got instead was a deeply personal writing of one persons continued journey with the “little monster” on his shoulder that constantly attempts to take over his daily life. I appreciated his descriptions of anxiety and the way it affected him and saw a lot of ourselves in them. When he describes places where he was when he was going through his attacks it made it all the more real, as we are from Winnipeg ourselves.

For those reading this book out of curiosity as to how people with anxiety actually “tick” this will open your eyes. But for those who open it as care givers and people who also deal with their monsters, David gives you the support and encouragement to keep putting one foot in front of the other - one day at a time.

Thank you again David for sharing your story.

[Alana Sullivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I happened to cross paths with All the Little Monsters in the book section at Homesense and it immediately caught my attention. As someone who was born and raised in Manitoba like David — finding his book on the shelf felt like an unexpected but comforting connection, especially after moving away seven years ago.

One passage that particularly resonated with me was on page 242, where David writes:

“The final level, in terms of bodily symptoms, is to be able to reach a state of mindfulness where I can serve what’s going on in my body, dispassionately and non-judgmentally and act accordingly without the interference of panic or unreasonable worry.”

This insight, among many others in the book, struck a chord. I’ve read similar passages in books and for many reasons, David’s hit differently. The way he explores anxiety, trauma and healing is both deeply personal and relatable. His storytelling is raw, reflective and layered with emotion, making this book a powerful read.

I’m grateful I stumbled across this gem. It’s one of those books that finds you at just the right time. Thank you, David.

[Kayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

So I must say, I found this book on a whim at the library when I was just poking around. When I saw the title, I was intrigued because I too, am anxiety…
It seemed interesting, but I put it down and kept looking.
I Couldn’t stop thinking about it though and picked it back up. Went to go check it out at the desk & sat at the table to start reading.

It felt like a sign because this man was explaining his experience doing wordfest and other writing events in not only the same city I’m in, but the same LIBRARY at that moment. Talking about not loving those same stairs I just walked up 10 minutes prior.

Anyways I loved this book: I related to a lot of what he talks about surrounding his health anxiety,
Panic attacks, spiraling thoughts, and fear of dying. Amongst other things. If you are a fellow anxiety human, I’d give this a read.